I do not own own any part of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Thanks for waiting everyone. :-)
As always, love and respect to keamoose for kicking my butt and proofreading my work. Very special thanks to Silvermoonlight GJ and jcmoorehead for their feedback and friendship.
Hope you enjoy this chapter.
As always, constructive critiques, reviews and feedback are appreciated.
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"Hhhhhhhhhhhhhh,'' Asuka's mouth stretched into a huge yawn. "I hope all this midnight snooping is over soon. Between this and all the research and everything else, I haven't been sleeping real good. Forget about any time for fun." She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the train window.
Mari looked at her friend. She was just as anxious for a break in all the craziness. Sharing her feelings right now seemed like an awful lot to dump on Asuka. Waiting too long wasn't any better. "Maybe after the triathlon," she thought.
The train came to a stop and they got off. Rei had mentioned meeting at NERV, but the station was only about a block away and was a bit less conspicuous. Everyone had decided it would be better to meet up here, then head over.
Mari checked her phone as they headed for the exit. "When they say arrival time is 23:55, they mean it. Beats the shit outta Brit Rail."
"Yeah." Asuka perked up a bit. "Hate to admit it, but it's even better than the DB."
The automatic doors opened and Shinji, Hikari, and Rei were there to meet them.
"Been here long?" Asuka yawned.
"'Bout five minutes," Shinji answered.
"How was the trip?" the redhead continued.
"Not bad, but I don't know if Hikari was a fan of the music. Pretty sure it was black metal." He looked at Rei.
She nodded approvingly.
Asuka and Mari laughed.
"So," Asuka kept laughing. "How was it Hikari?"
"It was… OK," she answered cautiously. "I couldn't make out the words."
"It's OK," Rei spoke up. "They're in Norwegian."
Everyone had a good laugh before Rei started leading them toward the van.
"I thought we were headed for NERV?" Asuka asked.
"We have to get down to the GeoFront," Rei responded. "And there's no way we could all just walk into HQ at midnight with raising a lot of suspicion. So we have to take another route."
"Did you guys know about this?" Mari asked, looking at the rest of them.
"We only found out on the way over," Hikari answered.
Once everyone was in the van, Rei spelled out the plan. "Headquarters only takes up a tiny bit of the land over the GeoFront. Before the bombing, all of NERV was completely underground. Now there are only a few places that lead directly down there. The land directly around HQ is always under heavy surveillance, but there's lots of land that only gets checked periodically. That's where we're headed." She started the van and pulled out of the parking lot. After about ten minutes' driving, the van turned on to a small side path. Rei turned off the headlights, and they finally stopped next to a thick line of trees that stretched as far as they could see. "This is it."
They all climbed out and looked around. Rei checked her info. "It's on the other side of these trees, but we need a few things first." She opened the back of the van and leaned in. "Can someone give me a hand?"
Asuka watched her roommate wander away.
"What's with the goggles?" Shinji asked Asuka.
The redhead turned back toward Hikari and Shinji. "They're night vision goggles. I figured they might come in handy. I hate wandering around in the dark, especially when I don't have a clue where I'm going." She made sure everyone knew she was getting annoyed.
"I'm actually kinda excited," Hikari almost giggled.
Shinji and Asuka gave her the same puzzled look.
"I know we're here to find out what's going on, but this is the most adventure I've had in a while. Toji would always tell me about the battles and his training. This isn't like, being a pilot, but it's breaking the rules and knowing we might get caught. There's just something, I don't know." She could feel the blush coming on.
"I totally get that," Asuka laughed.
Shinji seemed a bit more surprised, but still chuckled. "I guess I hadn't thought of it that way."
They were joined by Mari, who had a huge spool of rope over her shoulder, and Rei, who was clutching a canvas sack.
"OK, we're set," announced Rei. "It shouldn't take too long to get there, but the climb is gonna be the hard part. Is everyone ready?"
"So, we're going in there?" Asuka looked at the trees.
"Don't let that fool you," Rei replied.
With that, they headed in.
It only took about five minutes before everyone got their first surprise. They broke through the trees to see a completely barren landscape full of large rugged craters. It was covered by a mix of rocks, earth, and sparse patches of grass.
"What the hell?" Mari almost yelled.
"This is what most of the land looks like," said Rei plainly.
"But the trees…" Hikari started.
"It's Gendo. It's all smoke and mirrors." Shinji's jaw clenched and his words dripped with venom. "Everything's a lie, covered in sparkles and bullshit. He serves it to us on a fuckin' silver tray and we eat it up like idiots."
Everyone was a bit shocked and at a loss for words.
"Sooooo…" Mari tried to cut the tension. "Where do we go from here?"
"He's right," Rei spoke up. "This is what's left of Seele's original attack on NERV. Gendo spent all his resources on neutralizing the radiation and only did what was absolutely necessary to make everything look normal again." She locked eyes with Shinji and felt their connection immediately.
Shinji's breathing calmed as the tension drained away slowly.
"According to this," Rei checked her phone, "it should be…" She looked up and spotted something. "Over there." Moving on, the rest followed behind.
Asuka was bringing up the rear, but moved up to walk beside Shinji. "Hey. This is all kinda bizzaro, huh? I mean, how often do I get to wear this outfit?" She stopped and struck a model pose.
Shinji looked over and laughed at the ridiculous sight.
"Hey. I'm the only person I know that can make night vision googles, a turtleneck, and a backpack look this good." Asuka smirked and smiled. They walked on together, chuckling.
"Thanks," said Shinji. "I didn't mean to freak everyone out. It's all just a lot, you know. What with Toji and Gendo…"
"And Rei." Asuka smiled.
"What?" Shinji blurted out without thinking.
"I mean, you two, it's new and exciting right? And kinda stressful?" She looked at his expression and put her hand on his shoulder. "Just relax and enjoy being together. That's all that matters right now. Don't try to overthink things." She smiled and gave him a playful bonk on the forehead.
They caught up with the rest of the group.
After walking for what seemed like forever, Rei came to a stop in front of a huge flat object covering the ground and squatted down. "We're gonna have to move this."
Shinji moved to the other side and tried to help, but the cover barely budged. It took everyone to pick it up and slide it over just enough to uncover a large hole.
"Jesus Christ," Mari exhaled. "What the hell was that?"
"That," Rei looked at the steel plate, "is Gendo's idea of camouflage. And that," she stared at the hole, "should be a ventilation shaft that gets us down to the GeoFront." She walked around the opening and noted two large cast iron rings along the edge. Looking into the hole, she noticed they lined up with a ladder that ran down the inside of the shaft. Pulling out two ground anchors and a mallet, Rei drove the spikes into the ground. "Gimme the rope, will ya?" she motioned to Mari.
"Wait. We've gotta climb all the way down?" Asuka groaned. "And what's with the rope?"
Rei threaded the line through the anchors and rings and tied it off, then tied the other end around her waist. She pulled a headlamp out of the sack and slipped it on. "There's another vent that comes out on an upper floor. From there, we can walk down using the stopped escalators."
"That doesn't answer my question," Asuka shot back.
"I'm not sure how sturdy the ladder is, and we have to use it to access the other vent. I've secured the rope, but I need a couple of you guys to hold it while I climb down."
"Oh, ok."
Mari stepped up and grabbed the rope, followed by Shinji.
"If you two could watch me as I climb down." Rei called out to Hikari and Asuka. "That way, if something goes wrong… I'll call up when I reach the vent." She fished a screwdriver out of the sack and stuffed the handle in her pocket. With that, she started the climb down.
Everyone up top froze as the first two rungs groaned and squeaked. Mari and Shinji let out enough slack to let Rei get a few steps down. Hikari and Mari watched and signaled as Rei moved down.
Moving steadily, Rei made her way down the ladder. "What the hell am I doing? This is fucking crazy," she wondered. Those two thoughts kept playing over and over, and actually distracted her from the climb and the enclosed space. It was a brief tug on the rope that brought her back to reality. She looked down, and the light from her lamp disappeared into the darkness. She looked up and could barely see the sky. She let out a big sigh and kept moving down. Another couple of minutes, and she stopped again. A very slight feel of air coming past her told her the vent was close. Moving faster, she finally spotted the vent cover just to one side of the ladder. With one hand on the ladder, she fished out the mallet and took a good look. There was a lock holding the cover in place, but the actual metal grating was heavily rusted with a few strips completely eaten through. It took a few minutes, but she was able to beat open a big enough hole to squeeze through. She scrambled through the short vent, and pushed open the other cover, dropping down onto the floor beneath. She looked around and spotted the stylized 04 on one of the walls. A cold shudder ran over her entire body. "Uhgh… guess it never changes," she thought.
"I can't see anything either." Asuka knelt down and peered into the hole.
"Yeah. The light's been gone for a while now. I didn't think she had to climb down that far," Hikari answered. "What about you guys?" She looked at Mari and Shinji.
"The rope's been moving up til a coupla minutes ago," Shinji answered.
"Bzzzz… Bzzzz…" Hikari pulled out her phone and answered. "Uh huh. OK, sure. No problem. I'll tell the others." She put her phone away and looked up. "Rei's in and says it's safe to head down."
One by one, they made their way down, with Shinji the last to arrive.
"Well, here it is," Rei announced. "Welcome to old NERV HQ."
The head lamps shot light everywhere as everyone tried to get a good look around. The floor was littered with chunks of concrete and coated with a thick layer of dust. Parts of the ceiling were missing, and twisted rebar jutted out from above.
"Uhm. Where do we go from here?" Mari asked.
"OK, so all the floors are the same. There are escalators, but no power. So we'll have to walk down," Rei replied. "They're this way." She led the group away.
"That's not so bad, I guess," Asuka sighed.
The redhead's expression changed again once they arrived. She looked down at the escalator that disappeared into the darkness. Even checking over the side didn't help. The next floor was nowhere in sight.
Mari reached down and heaved a chunk of something over the side, and waited. It took forever until they heard it finally hit the concrete floor below.
Rei moved forward cautiously, testing the track as she went down. When she got to the bottom, she signalled the OK and everyone followed. For the next hour, it was the same process. Even Shinji was starting to feel the tension. The only sound was Hikari on an infinite loop.
"Scooby Scooby Doo… hmm hmm hmm hmm… do now. Hmm Hmm Hmm Doo…"
"What are you humming?" Asuka came up to the former class rep.
"Huh? Whadda you mean?" Hikari seemed surprised.
"You've been at it for the past hour." Asuka did her best imitation two or three times before it got a reaction.
"Oh for fuck's sake. It's from some old cartoon Kensuke watches. About a bunch of kids and a dog that go around solving mysteries," she chuckled.
"What's a Scooby Doo?" Asuka asked.
"I think it's the dog."
Asuka just shook her head and the two walked together in silence, but it didn't last long. Soon, Asuka was absentmindedly humming the tune with Hikari. From there, it spread until everyone was humming along and giggling. The mood took a nosedive when they arrived at the top of the next escalator.
"Ugh, not another one," Mari groaned. "I bet Scrubby Doo doesn't have to deal with stuff like this."
"Listen guys…" Rei started, only to be interrupted.
"Uhmmm, it's Scooby Doo, dummkopf." Asuka stared at her roommate.
"Whatever," Mari laughed. "But he's cooler than this, right Hikari?"
"Actually, they always seem to fluke their way into things. Like, someone trips on something or they lean on a secret switch."
Rei moved to the top step of the escalator and turned to face everyone. "Listen guys. I know we're all tired, but I promise. This is the last one." She reached to grab the rail, but her hand hit the power switch.
Everyone watched as Rei slowly disappeared from sight.
"Holy shit, there's power!" Asuka gasped.
Everyone jumped on the moving track and let out a collective sigh.
Rei walked up to ride with the group. "OK, so that was a surprise. When we get down there, the first stop is Dr. Akagi's office. If we can get in, there's got to be clues about what's going on. Then, if we've got time, maybe we can check out the lab, but let's focus on getting into her office. I'm sure it's locked…"
She stopped suddenly as they collectively noticed light from the floor below. It seemed to flicker and move on its own.
"Shit," she whispered. "Everyone, lights out and get down! There must be automatic lighting with motion detectors, which means there's someone down there already. Fuck. Listen, we've gotta move quick and quiet. If we don't shut down the escalator, we're screwed. Let's go."
In no time, they'd made it down and hit the kill switch. They waited and watched, huddled under the escalator for about 10 minutes. Satisfied they hadn't been spotted, Rei whispered out her plan.
"Asuka, you're with me. We're going to Akagi's office." She turned. "Mari. You, Hikari, and Shinji head for the lab. It's straight from where we came down." She stopped as the sound of heavy footsteps got closer. They all held their breath as a uniformed man stopped briefly, then strode past. Once the guard was out of sight, Rei continued. "Give me and Asuka a minute, then head out. Once you get there, try to get in. Have a look around and see what you can find. We'll meet back here in 20 minutes." She motioned to Asuka, and they moved off in the direction of the guard.
Rei and Asuka weren't even out of sight when Hikari and Shinji exchanged the same irritated look. Her eyes rolled up and he nodded. A big sigh from both caught Mari's attention.
"Calm down," she whispered. "Just a little while longer and we can head out."
The guard moved at a steady pace, eyes focused, sweeping the hallway forward and back. Occasionally, he would stop and check the locks on random doors.
Trailing not far behind, the two pilots kept him in view. Making sure not to trigger the overhead lights, they darted to stay out of sight whenever the guard looked back. Rei's heart was pounding in her ears so loud she was sure he could hear. Having Asuka following close made her feel a bit better, but her nerves were worse than any battle. "Keep it together. Breathe, breathe," she repeated over and over in her head.
The Second Child spied a set of offices off the main hallway and was sure she saw Dr. Akagi's name beside one. She watched as Rei kept going, not even slowing down.
"Where the fuck is she going? I thought she said she knew this place." She snuck up and tapped Rei hard on the shoulder.
The blue-haired girl jumped and whipped around. Eyes wide and fists clenched, she felt the flood of adrenaline rushing through her body. What she saw was a very annoyed redhead, motioning frantically. In a flash, she realized where they were and blushed. She looked over Asuka's shoulder and nodded. Then she turned and checked on the guard up ahead. In a weird pantomime, she and Asuka agreed on the next steps.
Mari, Shinji, and Hikari were having trouble. Making it to the lab was a piece of cake; it was the door that stymied them. As time ticked by, Hikari was hovering over Mari, who was trying to pick the lock.
"We're useless if we can't get in," Hikari muttered out loud. She looked over to see Shinji sitting on the floor. Back against the wall, arms wrapped around his knees.
"There's nothing for us to do. It's up to Mari right now. You might as well just sit and wait." He looked up with a blank expression.
Hikari walked over and stared down. "I'm just saying. At least the other two are doing something. If we can't get in and look around, then what's the point? And another thing. Why didn't Rei pick me or you to go with them? He was my boyfriend. I was the one who discovered he was missing. And he was your best friend. Doesn't that count for something?" Her voice was getting more and more heated.
Shinji just stared up at her for a minute. "We're here and they're there. It doesn't really matter why Rei chose the groups. She just did. OK?" The last sentence was blunt and almost bitter. "So you might as well just accept it." He sounded resigned as he patted the spot on the floor next to him.
"I hate to break up your little pity party, but we're in." Mari swung the door open and looked back at her friends. "Let's go. We've got work to do." She let them file past then walked in and closed the door behind her.
"Ugh… Five more hours." The guard stared at his phone and sighed. "I just want..." Before he could finish that thought, there was a sharp blow to his back that knocked him face first into the wall. His arms were pinned behind him and everything went black as something was shoved over his head. Next, the coldness of his NERV-issued handcuffs locked onto his wrists.
Asuka leaned into the man's ear and calmly announced in a gruff voice, "We're going for a walk. Got it?" When she saw his head pull back, she pushed it back against the wall, hard. "Just nod, and this will be over soon. Or we can stay here, and I'll start by breaking your nose."
His shoulders dropped and he nodded meekly.
Asuka pulled out her cell phone and stuck it in his back. With the other hand, she grabbed his wrists and steered him as Rei led them back toward Akagi's office.
It didn't take long before all three were standing at the Doctor's door. While most of the other doors were lock and key, this one was card access only. Asuka looked at Rei, who shrugged. Without thinking, Asuka let go of his wrists and shoved her hand in his pocket. The lightning-fast search retrieved the key card in nothing flat. Rei opened the door, and Asuka guided their hostage inside. Without a word, Rei took over holding the phone in place as Asuka started to hack Akagi's PC. Rei held up five fingers and Asuka nodded.
Mari and her team photographed anything that was written down. From the seemingly random formulae on the whiteboard, to the scraps of paper in the wastepaper bin. Mari even took a turn at trying to crack the lab PC.
"Let's face it, there's dick all here," Shinji announced. "We all know those two will find all the real stuff in Dr. Akagi's office. Hikari was right." He plopped down on a stool and threw a handful of papers in the air.
Hikari just looked at him and sighed. "Look, I know I started with a crappy attitude, but I definitely need to know what happened to Toji. And if I can find one thing that will help sort this out, then I want to find it."
Shinji slipped off his seat and kept searching.
"Hey guys, just a time check," Mari reminded them, "we've got about 3 minutes before….."
"Bzzzzz Bzzzzz These boots are made for walkin'... Bzzzzz Bzzzzz."
Mari froze. One by one, the others' phones went off as well.
"Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Fly me to the moon…. Bzzzzz Bzzzzz." Shinji checked his phone.
"Bzzzzz Bzzzzz My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard… Bzzzzz Bzzzzz." Hikari fumbled to shut off the ringtone and looked at the screen.
All three read the same.
"GET OUT! THEY'RE COMING!" flashed continuously.
They dropped everything and ran out into the hall. It was a straight shot back to the escalator, but they could hear pounding footsteps coming from all over the place. The last thing they needed was to be caught in the spotlight by standing still.
"Follow me," Mari called out, and took off running.
Just a minute earlier….
"OK, OK, OK… C'mon Asuka," Rei urged silently. "Five minutes, five minutes, five minutes," she chanted to herself. Looking around, Rei noted how plain the office appeared. The walls were bare. Even the desk and chair were simple and utilitarian. There was an ashtray filled to overflowing with cigarette butts smeared with old lipstick. Rei felt a gag reflex coming on, but fought the urge. The only bit of decoration was a small clay cat figure, next to the ashtray. "I guess she…"
"Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Hit me with your best shot… Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Hit me with your best shot..."
Rei felt the phone vibrate and almost dropped it. Within a second, her own phone went off in her pocket.
"Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Bzzzzz…. Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Bzzzzz….."
Asuka heard her tone and looked up, eyes wide with shock.
"What the hell?!" The guard's muffled voice called out.
Asuka frantically disconnected and pulled the thumb drive from Akagi's PC. She barely had time to cover her tracks. Rei looked at Asuka's phone.
"GET OUT! THEY'RE COMING!" flashed on the screen repeatedly.
She showed it to Asuka and they both bolted. Back in the hallway, they were moving so fast the overhead lighting couldn't keep up. For all their planning, they were running blind in the darkness, and slowing down was not an option.
For the next 20 minutes, each group spent equal time running and hiding. From above, they could have been competing mice trying to make their way through an elaborate maze to get to the cheese. In fact, it was almost like some kind of weird strobe light display as the floor flickered from dark to light and back as they all dashed around. What made it worse was, it was panic that moved their feet. Not common sense or strategy. Maybe that's what made them rush past each other no less than three times. It was like something from a Keystone Cops reel. It would have gone on much longer if Hikari hadn't knelt down to tie her shoe as Mari and Shinji carried on ahead. Before she knew it, someone was coming up fast from behind and she didn't have time to move or hide. What followed was the most spectacular head-over-heels crash no-one ever saw.
Hikari lay crumpled on the ground for a moment before trying to move. She accidentally let out a painful moan, then froze and held her breath. What she heard next made her so happy she almost cried.
"Sheisse, sheisse, sheisse. Verdammt. Ugh."
Even at that whispered volume, there was no mistaking the voice's owner.
"Asuka? Is that you?"
"Hikari? Of course it's me," she answered, surprised someone would ask such a silly question.
They hadn't even made it to their feet, when Rei appeared seemingly out of nowhere.
"Have you seen the other two?" she whispered.
"I'd say they're just up ahead. Probably waiting for me," Hikari answered.
It didn't take long before the whole group was reunited and comparing notes.
"Does anyone know how many guards are here now?" Mari asked.
"The most we've seen together is six," Asuka answered.
"That sounds about right. Sometimes a smaller group, but no more than six," Mari confirmed. "I'm surprised they didn't just flood the place and grab us quickly."
"Gendo's cheap," Shinji countered. "He won't do any more than is absolutely necessary. If you ask me, he probably thinks six is overkill."
"Who cares?!" Asuka blurted out. "Did anyone see how they got down here?"
"What does that matter?" Hikari looked confused.
"If we can figure out how they got here, maybe we can get out the same way. I'd say they didn't use our escalator. Too long to get here."
"The freight elevator," Rei spoke up. "It has outside access and is big enough."
"To carry down all the stuff on that waybill," Hikari started piecing it all together.
"Sounds like the elevator is our way out," Mari stated. "Which way from here?" She looked at Rei.
"Follow me."
She led them down a side corridor. Mari picked the lock on a set of big industrial swinging doors that led to a loading area. The elevator was on the other side of the room.
Asuka ran over and pressed the call button, and it lit up.
"If we take the elevator and they come back here, we're screwed," Rei said. Just then, the elevator opened and she walked in and looked up. "I think we should wait for them to come back and we'll ride up with them."
Everyone else stepped in and looked up.
"Lemme guess," said Shinji. "Through the hatch?"
"Yup. It makes sense. The guards were called over from the other HQ. That means when they come back, they'll be leaving direct to the outside. So we wait til they're out, drop down and we're done."
There was a lot of nodding, followed by people being boosted through the ceiling hatch.
They were back in the dark, on top of the elevator, waiting in silence for almost an hour. When they finally heard people coming, Mari quietly reminded them.
"Phones off."
The elevator bobbed slightly as it filled up.
Up top, no-one made a sound as the car started to move. Their unique position did allow them to hear some interesting bits of conversation from below.
"OK, just so we're clear. It turned out to be a false alarm and no-one was there when we arrived. A thorough search turned up nothing. All was secure. Got it?"
There was some indecipherable mumbling, then a different voice.
"You don't really believe that?"
"It doesn't matter what I believe. It's convincing the Doctor that counts."
"Either way, I wouldn't want to get on her bad side. I hear she can be batshit crazy when she gets really angry."
There was more mumbling, then another voice cut in. "Batshit crazy can be a bonus in the sack!"
All of them burst out laughing.
"You're lucky we're not being monitored, or Gendo would cut off your balls."
"If Akagi would let him!"
Asuka almost keeled over.
The guards' laughter burst out again and lasted for at least three floors.
The rest of the ride was quiet. As the car came to a stop, Rei motioned to wait five minutes, then climb down.
When they were ready to leave, the doors opened to the night sky, a small cement pad, and a worn road that led off into the dark.
"Where are we?" Hikari asked.
Rei looked around. "Dunno. NERV property is the only thing I could say for sure. Best bet to get back is to follow the road."
They all set out.
"I can't believe we made it," Hikari said with a wide smile. She checked her phone. Two IM's from Kensuke, both exactly the same, "You OK?" She messaged back. "All OK. Thanks for the warning," followed by a winking emoji.
"Kensuke OK?" Shinji asked her wearily.
She just smiled.
"Figured it was him. The group message, I mean." He smiled back.
By the time they got to Rei's van it was past 3 am. The adrenaline had worn off and everyone was exhausted, so they crashed in the back. Shinji pulled himself into the passenger seat and leaned over. Rei was out cold, snoring.
"Here, always here. Another late night at HQ," he thought. Staring down through the huge window, Shinji watched the solitary person swimming laps. Arms cutting through the water, calmly, over and over. Legs powerfully kicking, churning under the surface.
It'd been over a week since the break-in, and everything was at a standstill. Asuka was still piecing together the info she'd gleaned from Akagi's computer. The info from the lab mentioned "weekly injections" but not much more. Hikari had been reliving the entire adventure over and over to Kensuke, who seemed to almost egg her on.
Shinji wondered what Toji would say about all this. Shinji remembered their first meeting. The punch. Then later, how Toji had begged him to slug him back to make them even. Once that was done, everything else was forgotten and they moved on. "Moving on," he repeated in his head.
Rei watched the wall move closer and felt the water slide past her easily. She glided the last bit and relaxed. She reached up and grabbed the metal bar of the starting block, but stayed underwater. Floating there for a minute, she listened to the muted sounds and felt her legs float up behind her. When she did surface, a blue towel was right in front of her face, with a familiar hand attached. She flipped up her goggles and pulled herself out of the pool.
"Thanks," she smiled.
"Can we….. talk?" he asked.
"Yeah, sure," came her muffled voice as she dried her hair.
They walked over and sat at one of the poolside tables.
"I know things have been crazy lately. We really haven't had a chance to spend a lot of time together."
"Yeah," Rei responded.
"And… I wanted to apologize for acting so weird."
Rei looked confused.
"The last time we talked was when you told me about Toji." He hesitated. "I've been confused about a lot of stuff since then. I wasn't being honest with myself, and I didn't know how to tell you."
Rei shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She pulled the towel around her shoulders as the goosebumps suddenly came. "You said it'd be OK." She pulled her feet up onto the chair, knees close to her face. All her coping techniques were lost for a second. The barrier was up again.
Shinji let out a big breath. "I know. I was angry at Toji. I was jealous of you two. I was ashamed I wasn't mature enough to get past it. And it only got worse the more we all snooped around." He waited for a reaction, then carried on. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on. It's my fault."
He watched as her legs shifted back down and she moved forward in her seat.
There was a minute where Rei just looked at him. She scanned from his face down to his waist and up again. "Making amends is part of who I am now. I wanted you to understand, to know me better. Do you know how bad I felt for keeping all that from you? Do you think I didn't worry what you'd think about me? About Toji?" She was feeling more in control of herself. More certain of every word. "Amends are meant to help me resolve things, but even after, I worried about it. My sponsor warned me about starting a relationship and now I understand."
It was Shinji's turn to squirm and go pale. "I've been so selfish. I'm sorry." He looked right at her and waited for the hammer to fall.
"This is going to be hard. Up to a few weeks ago it was all fun, but if this is going to last, we have to work at it. I might sound strong right now, but I'm scared shitless. I need to know you'll be there. That we can talk things out. That if things get bad, neither one of us will run away."
A wave of relief washed over Shinji. "I want that too, and I'll be beside you no matter what. You can depend on me." He got up from his chair and moved over.
Their hug went for a long time. When it finally broke, there were tears and smiles and big sighs of relief. Rei pulled back and noticed his bare feet.
"I can see you were serious about coming here." She smiled, her eyes flashing down and back. "Considering you don't swim."
Shinji just blushed.
Rei pulled him close again. "Maybe I could help with that. This weekend. You could... bring your swim trunks... maybe, stay over."
Shinji nodded.
*The DB Asuka mentions is short for the Deutsche Bahn AG. It's the German train system.