The coordinates that Ben gave her for their meeting are indeed located on Coruscant. But they're far from the gleaming Upper Levels where the Republic headquarters are located. Rey unexpectedly finds herself traversing the notorious Coruscant Underworld. She's seen some shady places like Jakku and Takodana. But she's never seen any place quite this bad.
She has dressed as blandly as possible for the occasion. She has pulled low the hood of her jacket to shield her features. Her trademark lightsaber is tucked into a pocket rather than swinging at her hip. Luckily, the surrounding gloom helps to obscure her identity as well.
Sunlight does not penetrate this far beneath the dense Coruscant cityscape. For thousands of years now, it has been perpetual night down at these lowest, oldest levels of human habitation. The darkness is only abated by artificial illumination, and that is both inconsistent and insufficient. Some blocks Rey walks are semi lit by ambient light from the windows and doorways of streetside cantinas and spice dens. On other blocks, she can see barely more than a meter in any direction. But with her Force attuned senses on high alert, she feels reasonably safe.
Rey keeps walking, following the navigation path towards Ben's coordinates. The route now takes her through the Coruscant Underworld's central redlight district. It lives up to its seedy reputation as the galaxy's headquarters for cheap thrills. Looking around, all Rey can think is that this sure isn't Canto Bight. But she sees the wisdom of Ben's choice: no one would think to find the enemy Supreme Leader here amid all this sleaze.
The commerce on these lowest levels is limited to sex, drugs, and booze. Pixelated, mostly female faces projected from giant screens on building facades flood the streets with advertisements of vice to be had at low cost. It's a lewd, cluttered, and remarkably insistent visual environment. Rey walks through block after block of this eye-level digital content. Maybe it's supposed to be sexy for its intended audience, but she finds it vaguely threatening. She remembers on several occasions narrowly escaping slavers on Jakku. No doubt they sought to traffic her to some place like this for a life of degradation and exploitation.
Disturbed, Rey lowers her head and focuses on evading the puddles at her feet that could be anything. It's filthy down here where speeder bikes zoom around waist high heaps of garbage. Wafts of narcotic spice mix with the stale, acrid smell of urine and feces. To add to this toxic stew, the exhaust of millions of transports from the clogged skies high above settles down. It makes the air thick with chemicals. Rey has to stifle a cough every now and then. It's hard to breath.
She checks her progress. She's close, which is good because it's nearly noon. She rounds the next corner and suddenly, she can sense Ben's presence. It fills her with relief and anticipation. Another twenty meters and they are in close enough proximity for the bond to fully open. She still can't see Ben, and yet she knows his thoughts through the bond.
Where are you?
I'm watching you out a second-floor window from the end of the block.
Which side?
The north side.
Which way is north? I'm all turned around down here in the dark.
North is to your left. I'm in the warehouse with the loading zone sign next to the entrance. The door to the street is open. Come inside, lock the door, and take the lift to the second floor.
Rey does as she is instructed. With a last furtive glance around at the empty street, she slips inside her destination and heads for the elevator. The lift opens on the second floor. Suddenly she's staring at Kylo Ren running loose in his arch enemy's capital world. He's in street clothes, like she is. But there's no denying who this tall Skywalker prince is. Ben will never blend in, no matter how hard he tries. For whether he's acting intensely menacing or endearingly awkward, this man is special and he makes an impression. There's no one else like him in all the galaxy.
If this were a holonet show, she would run into Ben's arms for a romantic reunion and a lingering kiss. But nothing comes sweet and easy like that for their romance, and they are far from a conventional couple. Besides, this isn't fiction. This is real life and there are other pressing concerns.
"Were you followed?" Ben worries as he moves across the room to a window overlooking the deserted street.
"I don't think so. What is this place?" From the outside, the building they're in appears to be a warehouse. But from the looks of the interior, that is clearly not the case. Rey scans a room full of nondescript furnishings. It looks like someone's home, except it's far too impersonal. Plus, who would choose to live in this neighborhood?
Satisfied she was not tailed, Ben turns away from the window. "This is a safe house."
Huh? "What does that mean?"
He explains, "Back when Sidious was Snoke, he was plotting his big comeback. He had plenty of covert dealings here on Coruscant in the years leading up the war. The Order had operatives who came and went on a regular basis. They laid low and conducted business in places like this."
"Oh." This is a house for spies. That probably makes her a fitting occupant. Rey is uncomfortably aware that she's currently the First Order's most valuable agent.
"I did it myself plenty of times," Ben recalls. "That mask had its uses. Back then, no one recognized my face."
"Not anymore." Both she and Ben are famous. It's what makes a meeting like this terribly risky.
Skittish Rey now walks to look out the window for herself. She doesn't sense any danger. But still . . . She can't help but mutter, "This is really stupid."
"I know."
"It's not just dangerous, it's reckless." She turns and plants both fists on her hips. "You shouldn't be taking this risk."
"I know. But I had to see you. I have an hour. Maybe two."
"Okay. But next time, I'm coming to you," she insists.
"No," Ben immediately objects. And now, they are back to bickering. It's very them. They have spent weeks yearning for one another across the bond, but the first thing they do when they meet in person is argue.
"I don't want you on my ship," Ben informs her. "Too many people know about us already. Besides, I don't want you to miss your meetings. I need you in those meetings."
"I'm missing one right now," Rey points out.
"Just for an hour or two. Your absence is regrettable but necessary."
She raises an eyebrow. "How so?"
"You're boosting morale for the peace effort."
Ben now flashes that lopsided half-smile, half smirk that reminds her so much of Han Solo. It's in fleeting moments like this that Rey sees the vestiges of Ben's dashing, risk-positive father. Mostly, she sees Leia Organa in Ben. He is cerebral and commanding like his princess mother. General Organa too could be brusque and dismissive at times, Rey recalls.
Ben steps forward and his physical proximity has the bond crackling. It's like electronic static feedback in her brain—sharp and impossible to ignore. This man's lure is near magnetic. And the more she's around him, the stronger the pull becomes. What started as an uncomfortable feeling on Starkiller Base and became a true attraction on Ahch-To has now become something like an obsessive codependency. The bond promotes closeness, and closeness promotes the bond. The result is a needy intimacy.
Ben feels it too. "I had to see you," he breathes out. "You don't know how much I—"
"Stop talking," Rey interrupts as she steps forward as well. She wants to make this risk worth it. "We can talk across the bond. We can argue another time. But we can't—we can't . . . "
The next words die on her lips. Suddenly shy to ask out loud for what she wants, Rey takes her own advice and shuts up. Reaching for Ben's shoulders, she pulls him down for a kiss. She will show him what she wants rather than tell him. She's never been coy about making the first move.
Ben is just as eager as she is. Rey could swear she feels a jolt of true electricity as their emotional chemistry surges with their physical attraction and combusts. Instantly, they are all over each other. Hands groping and grasping. Bodies arching and heaving. Breath sucked in fast between never ending kisses. They are each so hungry for one another. Both needing to put an end to the pent-up longing that has simmered during the weeks of separation.
"Oh Force, I need you . . . " Ben's hands are in her hair, making a mess of her neat trio of knots. He likes it loose, she sees in his mind. Long, loose dark hair reminds him of his early years with his mother. Those were innocent, happy times when his parents were still together and Ben hadn't yet been sent away to his uncle. So, Rey reaches up and tears free the remaining knots. She will give Ben what he wants.
Somehow, she loses her jacket. Ben starts working on her tank top and bra. She stops him. "I'll do it. Where's the—"
He's in her mind. He finishes her sentence. "Down the hall. Come." Ben nabs her hand and propels her towards a makeshift bedroom. Apparently, he chose this safe house hideout with a bed for a tryst in mind.
What follows is no languid seduction. They are both very efficient undressing. For there's no need to amp up the excitement. Their forbidden attachment, the risk of capture, and their separation have them both urgently ready to go. Soon, she's on her back on the bed and Ben is thrusting away between her legs. All her daydreams of new positions go unfulfilled. She'll try being on top next time. But for now, this is ecstasy and she wouldn't change it for anything.
She needs this. She really needs this. Rey has fallen asleep to fantasies of Ben nightly since she left his ship. But along with those fantasies were plenty of fears and insecurities to keep her awake. Are they doing the right thing? Will they prevail? Is the Force still with them? Will she be able to play the peace broker like Ben hopes? There are deeper, more personal doubts simmering as well. Does he love her? Can she love him? Should she love him? Sure, the Force chose them for each other, but is Ben really the one for her? And are they truly married by the bond? Ben says they are, but what does he understand that to mean exactly? All of those misgivings swarm Rey's mind regularly. It means this lusty reunion is reassurance she needs.
More than anything, today confirms that she is wanted. That matters for the scorned scavenger orphan. This isn't a Darksider seeking to lure her to his side to use her for his wiles. Ben wants her for her power but also for herself. He wants her as a woman and as an equal. As a friend, as a companion, and as his co-conspirator. For he is as needy today as she is, Rey senses. The Supreme Leader could have his pick of willing women among his followers. But instead, he yearns for her. He waits for her. He risks everything for her.
That knowledge emboldens her. Maybe in time . . . if they make it through this peace process and survive . . . if they finally defeat Darth Sidious . . . when they are both safe and there is no risk that she will give her heart away to a man who will die or leave her . . . then and only then will she let herself love Ben. Already, too much of her life has been defined by loss. For her own sake, she must safeguard her heart from further damage.
But enough about future love. Rey is here today for lust. For the slick friction inside that nudges just the right spot. For the rising tension that is building fast towards sweet, sweaty release. For the all-consuming pleasure that she surrenders to with utter abandon. With their minds intertwined and their bodies joined, it is a moment of ultimate connection. Their dyad fairly sings with triumph. If that didn't cause a disturbance in the Force, Rey doesn't know what could.
They are laying naked side by side when she rather belatedly asks, "How safe is this safe house? Who from your side knows you're here?"
"No one. Everyone thinks I went to Mustafar."
"Who runs this house?"
"A guy who's asleep in the Force in a back-room closet. I'm going to erase his memory before I leave."
"Good plan," she approves. "But is there surveillance?"
Ben rolls over on his side. He leans in for a kiss before he begins to nuzzle her neck. "Are you asking if we just made a sex tape?"
A sex tape? Rey gapes and throws her hand across her mouth in horror. "Oh Gods—" Is he joking? He had better be joking.
"Relax," Ben chuckles low in his throat. "There's no surveillance at safe houses. It's more likely to be used against us than to help us. We don't want a record of who comes and goes here."
That makes sense. Rey exhales. "Whew."
"A Jedi with a sex tape," Ben teases between kisses on her throat. "Uncle Luke would disapprove."
No kidding. Rey giggles again. "I want to make peace, not porn."
Ben gives another husky chuckle. "You'd be terrible at porn."
She lifts up on her elbows to frown at him. "What's that supposed to mean?" Is she bad in bed? Maybe she is bad in bed. How would she know?
Ben is enjoying her fuming fluster. "You're not nearly loud enough," he tells her. "You would need to shriek 'Fuck me, you big Sith!' at the top of your lungs while I do my thing."
"That might blow our cover," she points out.
"Not mine. I'd be wearing the helmet. It would add some kink. Maybe the cape too."
She snorts at the silly mental image. "What makes you think that's the scenario?"
"You have something different in mind?" he challenges playfully. "Like what? Like this?" Ben starts dropping kisses down her torso to her waist.
"That tickles," she squirms.
"Be still," he commands. He's down to her belly button now. Then, he keeps going travelling lower. He's not going to . . . Yes, he is.
"Oh, I like that," she groans. His mop of wild hair is tickling her thighs now, but who cares? Rey can only focus on what his mouth is doing. It feels amazing.
Ben pauses to look up. "I'm new at this, so you're going to have to let me practice."
"Any time . . . " she sighs as she opens her legs a little wider. "Any time . . . " But she decides that he's either a natural or a very fast learner. Because he's an expert from the very first try.
Ben is still thinking about a sex tape. "So, in this case, you would be all 'Eat my pussy, Sith!'" he decides.
She giggles. "That might make Luke blow up a hut."
"Now that would be the money shot, for sure."
She can't help but pout. She's up on her elbows again now, frowning primly. "I don't want to know how much you know about holonet porn."
Ben peeks up at her. "Hey, I was a lonely guy before you came along. And I gave up my Jedi celibacy vow, so . . . "
"Don't tell me anymore," she cuts him off. But then curiosity—and also insecurity—gets the better of her. She asks, "Are you into that stuff? Twi'leks with big chests and round backsides?" She saw plenty of that sort of thing on the walk here. It's a hyperfeminine allure that she finds cheesy but also a little intimidating. After all, she's very skinny by comparison. Her figure is best described as slim and boyish.
Ben drops a kiss into the inside of her thigh. "I'm into scavengers from Jakku who try to kill me before they take me to bed."
"Good answer." She is placated. The Force tells her he is sincere.
But Ben must know that she's far less confident in herself as a woman than she is as a Jedi. He travels back up her body to hover on all fours over her. "There's only you. There has only ever been you, there will only ever be you," he promises before he kisses her deeply.
It's just what she needs to hear. But Rey makes light of it. "Another good answer," she smiles up at him.
"We can't wear rings or tell anyone, but we're married. Consider yourself married." Ben says it like Kylo Ren issuing an order.
Rey thinks a moment before she agrees. "Alright."
Through the bond, she registers Ben's surprise at her casual acceptance. It's understandable given her history of rejecting his overtures for marriage. But Rey now welcomes their mutual commitment. She's risking a lot for their scheme, and she has been wondering where things stand between them. Back from Ben's beginning pitch for their conspiracy back on Zakuul, he had mentioned marriage. So as their unlikely partnership has evolved to now include sex and treason, Rey has been wondering exactly how to understand their relationship.
"So . . . we're married?" Ben wants to confirm.
Gulping back a few lingering misgivings, Rey nods, "I guess so."
And that settles the issue. Thankfully, Ben doesn't press for more. There is no worrisome talk of love that will put her on the spot. Ben seems to understand her reluctance on that topic. He has danced around the L-word before, but he knows better than to say it outright. For all the transparency of the bond, there are quite a few things they don't talk about. Love is at the top of that list.
Ben now settles back down beside her and tugs her over into his arms. As much as she enjoys their bedroom antics, this cuddling is what she relishes most. Nothing, she has discovered, feels as good as skin on skin. Rey lolls Ben's arms, enjoying the contentment as she muses on their un-official married status. "I don't think the Force will let you cheat."
"You're probably right," he decides. Then Ben informs her sternly, "It works both ways, wifey. So if that ex-trooper traitor makes a play for you—"
"Finn? Finn?" she snorts. "Finn's just a friend."
"He didn't sound like a friend in that message when you were on my ship."
"He's a good friend."
"He had better stay in the friend zone or it will be my duty to our dyad to kill him," Ben growls.
He's serious. Apparently, now it's Ben's turn to feel insecure. "Are you jealous? You're jealous!" Rey accuses. She's shocked . . . and a little pleased.
Ben doesn't bother to deny it. "We are possessive on the Dark Side."
"And paranoid."
"That too. Now, that I've got you in my evil clutches, you are mine forever, Jedi." He's only half teasing. Ben's got her in a bear hug now and she loves it. No small part of her thrills to hear him claim her for his own. It balms over her longstanding abandonment issues from Jakku that she refuses to talk about.
And that emboldens her to ask vaguely, "So where does this go?"
"What do you mean?" Ben lazily strokes her back. It feels great.
"Well, if we do achieve peace, what happens to us? I can't be your wife in the Rim." Wife. She finally said the word out loud. It feels nice, if a little scary still.
Ben knows what she's thinking through the bond. She has pleased him. But he's casual as he teases, "Does that mean you don't want to be the Supreme Leaderette?"
"No."
"The Supreme Leaderess?"
"No."
"Am I supposed to be Mr. Scavenger? Because that's a dealbreaker."
"Be serious. I'm serious. We can't just run away together if this works. You have your people and I have mine." They have two separate lives, and that's a problem. Rey worries that their entire relationship may be limited to stolen hours like this one.
Ben is unconcerned. "So, we'll do the long-distance thing."
"For years?"
"It worked for my grandparents."
"Not really." Not at all, actually.
Ben stills the hand that strokes her back. He abruptly confesses, "I don't know how this all works out." His voice is soft and his words lack Kylo Ren's declamatory tone. This is Ben Solo being honest and uncertain. Instinctively, Rey knows that he's only like this with her. "I don't have a plan for us. We'll just have to see how it goes."
"And if peace fails?" she worries.
"Same thing. We'll figure it out. It will be okay. The Force is with us. The Force has never let me down," he contends staunchly. For as always, he has a deep faith that sustains him. The Force, Rey has come to realize, is the only way Ben knows to make sense of his extreme life and bizarre family.
She sighs. "I hope you're right."
"The Force sent you to me, didn't it?"
He's completely serious. It's so him. Rey can't resist a little ribbing. "Who knew you were such a romantic? The mighty Kylo Ren, a softie after all . . . "
"Not soft. Hard." He nabs her hand and tugs it lower to demonstrate. "My love is hard and so am I."
"I'm groaning. Can you hear me groaning?"
"I'd rather hear you moaning. I love your moan."
"I don't moan!"
"Do too. Moan for me again, Jedi." Ben rolls over atop her and starts initiating more lovemaking. "Moan my name some more," he whispers into her neck.
She giggles. "Is that my cue to say 'Fuck me, you big Sith?' That was your line from earlier, right?"
Ben doesn't miss a beat. "I love it when you talk dirty." He grinds into her to underscore the point.
It's delicious. But enough with the foreplay. Rey is ready to go again and all evidence suggests Ben is too. "Stop talking."
"As you wish," he defers. And now, he slips inside and they are at it again.
But their time together is fleeting. Not long later, they are both dressed and saying goodbye.
"Next time, your place," Rey insists as they stand together by the elevator. "I don't like you taking this risk."
"No place is safe for us," Ben answers with the undisputable truth. "But that won't stop me from seeing you."
She bites her lip and frets. "Tell me again that we're doing the right thing."
"Having doubts?"
"Yes. I suppose, I shouldn't be . . . but I am . . . " They have each made a determined effort to avoid talking galactic politics today, but it's an unavoidable subtext to everything they do. And now, before they part, Rey confesses her incessant worry that the peace process will fail: "A deal seems very far away right now."
"I know." Ben looks her in the eye. "I have my own doubts this will work, but I know that we're doing is the right thing. This is the only solution left to try."
"And if it doesn't work?" she whispers. "What then?" Dejectedly, she answers her own question. "The war resumes and we're enemies again, right?"
Ben twists his lips and exhales. "I guess we could always run away together and let the galaxy fall apart." He shrugs off that total calamity scenario as if it's no big deal. "We will have tried at least . . . "
"You mean abandon it all to Darth Sidious?" He can't be serious.
"I died for this cause once before and so did you," Ben reminds her grimly. "If we give it our best once again and fail, then we can leave it to others in good conscience."
Rey's eyes narrow. She accuses, "You don't believe that."
"You're right. I don't. But I don't have a fallback plan if peace fails. Not for the galaxy and not for us." Ben runs a hand through his messy hair, a subtle sign that he's uncomfortable.
Rey meets his eyes and nods gravely. She's doesn't have a Plan B either. They simply must achieve peace. Failure is not an option.
"Our fate will be the same as the galaxy's very likely," Ben guesses, reading her thoughts. "We will have to trust in the Force and in each other. Can you do that?"
"Yes." What choice does she have?
He kisses her one last time, before he shoos her away. Ben wants her to exit a good ten minutes before he does. Besides, there is the guy in the closet whose mind he needs to erase.
Rey does as instructed, heading out into the street. The bond is still open. Ben's thoughts are in her mind as she heads away through the grimy, dark streets.
I miss you already.
She replies honestly: I think I hate this. She's heading back to the Republic she loves to live a lie. It's all for the best, but still . . . It wears her down. Ben is the only person she can be completely honest with, and their parting now makes her want to cry. She wishes she could see a path forward where everything would be alright. Rey is fast learning that forbidden love is nowhere near as exciting in real life compared to how it is depicted on holonet shows.
You can do this. We can do this. The Force is with us.
It's cheerleading she needs to hear. I miss you already, too. Ben, I . . . I . . .
I'll say it. You just be quiet, scavenger wifey.
Say what?
I love you.
Rey can't help it—she panics a little. Reflexively, she rejects him. Don't say that. Please don't say that. This is hard enough without you saying that. She feels pressured, very pressured, to respond likewise and she's not ready.
Ben knows it. He doubles down. I'm going to say it again and again. Enough times for you to get used to it and accept it. Enough times for you to believe it. I love you.
Flustered Rey doesn't know how to respond. Trust it to Ben to make 'I love you' into a threat. It's stern tough love from her Sith Apprentice husband who has no qualms about making things uncomfortable if it will achieve his goals. By the time Rey has formulated a decent answer, she has walked too far and the intimacy of the bond has slipped. But maybe that's just as well, she decides. She's off the hook for now.
She checks her comlink and finds that her meetings have adjourned early today. There's no need to rush back to the Republic headquarters. That's a bit of a relief, actually. Rey isn't quite ready to renew her ongoing deception. She has too much on her mind. Ben's declaration wasn't exactly a surprise. But saying 'I love you' takes things to a new level. The stakes just got higher, and that has her stressed.
If she and Ben really are married, that means they are family. She might never find any other true kin thanks to her mysterious past, but she has Ben. Ben who loves her. Ben who the Force will never let leave her. What he told her long ago is, in fact, true: she's not alone. She has him, and he has her. It's what everyone wants: love, commitment, and security. Rey dreamed of this belonging back on Jakku. Everything would be perfect except her Prince Charming is a notorious warlord and she's on the opposite side of his New Empire. And while they agree on working for peace and balancing the Force, they still disagree on a lot of things. This can't possibly have a happy ending . . . can it?
Troubled Rey now heads to the Upper Levels where the sidewalks are safer and the air is cleaner. She's going to do what she used to do back on Jakku: walk away her troubles. She wanders a bit through the central city before on a whim she heads to the University District. She's going to find the one person who might be able to give her good advice.
Will Professor Sidhu be in? She is. The secret Lady Vader finds her loitering outside her campus office as she walks up.
"Rey. How nice to see you! Come in." The old woman ushers her inside and shuts the door.
"Professor," Rey murmurs a greeting. Suddenly, she's rethinking this surprise visit. She has nothing in common with this elegant, educated scholar decades her senior who concerns herself with high culture. They are very different women, with completely different lives. But Astral Sidhu knows what's going on behind the scenes of the ongoing civil war. This elderly academic might be a generation out of the game of power, but she knows all the players and she understands the stakes. And that makes Rey think she can safely confide in her. So, she tentatively begins, "Professor—"
"Call me Astral. I know you're the age of my students, but we're family," the old lady claims even though the connection is somewhat tenuous. "Now then, how are you?" Before Rey can answer, her hostess harangues, "Sit down, sit down. No hovering allowed. Get comfortable, dear. Let's have a chat."
"Right." Rey takes one of the open seats across from the professor's desk.
Astral Sidhu beams across at her. "The last time I saw you was on the holonet. You were covered in blood unconscious on a First Order torture rack while my grandson raged theatrically for the camera. It was high drama. Very Skywalker of you two. The whole Republic was fooled, save for me." The professor has a devilish twinkle in her eye.
Rey gulps. "Right, well—"
"I'm happy to see you're alive, although I can't say I'm surprised," the old lady says archly. "Does this visit mean you've patched things up with my grandson?"
Rey looks down. "You know I can't answer that."
"Alright, be coy. Keep your secrets."
Lady Vader looks to her expectantly now. Rey tentatively begins again. "I want to talk to you . . . "
"Yes?"
"About your marriage."
"Yes?"
Rey blurts out, "How did it work? How did you live apart?"
Old Lady Vader crosses her arms as she sits back in her chair. "Missing him?" she asks gently.
Yes, and it's only been an hour since she left his bed, Rey thinks. She blushes and issues another halfhearted evasion. "You know I can't answer that."
"Oh, fine," the professor harrumphs, shooting her a look. "Have it your way. But I remember missing my husband. Lord Vader was a public figure much like my grandson is now. I used to watch him on the newsfeeds, wondering when I would see him again. We had too little time together. If I could change anything about that time of my life, I would change that."
Yes. Exactly. Too little time together is the problem. But Rey grumbles, "I can't defect to the First Order."
"No, I suppose not."
"Tell me more," Rey presses. "How did you keep it quiet?"
The professor appears a bit wistful now. "My husband was an exceedingly private man, but we became something of an open secret over time. Lord Vader didn't bother hiding me from his men after his Master found out about us. But I was always something of a need-to-know topic. It's what helped me remain safely anonymous all these years. Most everyone who knew about my existence died at Endor or in the battles that followed."
That's all good to know, but Rey wants to hear about their long-distance romance. "When did you see each other?"
"Mostly when he came to Coruscant. I had my work to keep me busy. That helped. In those days, I worked at an auction house. I didn't go into academia until years later."
Lady Vader looks happy at the memories the conversation raises. She continues, "Of course, my husband was very busy. He crisscrossed the galaxy running the Empire for his Master. Palpatine got all the credit, but Lord Vader did all the work. It kept him away. At most, he was here on Coruscant once or twice a month, and then usually for only a day or so."
Once or twice a month? That doesn't sound too bad. "But you got to see him . . . to be with him when he was here?" Rey asks hopefully.
"Oh, yes. We made the most of the time we had. Usually, I met him at his palace. Sometimes it was just for a quick chat on the landing pad before he took off. Rarely did I know in advance that he would arrive. So sometimes, I was otherwise engaged. My Lord would get impatient about that," she recalls.
That's no surprise. "Impatience is a Dark Side thing."
"Is it? Well, it's also an obnoxious alpha male thing," the professor gripes. Did she just call Darth Vader obnoxious? She did. Apparently, over thirty years later, Lady Vader is still a bit annoyed with her dead husband. She complains, "When he showed up and I was busy, he tended to take matters into his own hands."
"Meaning?"
"He would have me arrested."
"Seriously?" Rey blinks.
"Yes. The man was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted. He didn't like to be kept waiting."
"Sounds overbearing." Like someone Rey knows well.
"Oh, he was exceedingly overbearing," Lady Vader happily agrees. "Stubborn too. Violent, if provoked. And grumpy. My Lord was grumpy a lot."
"I could see that." Rey is strangely fascinated by what she's hearing.
"It was the pain," the professor confides. "He was often in terrible pain. My poor Anakin suffered so . . . "
"Right." Rey tactfully refrains from mentioning all the suffering that Anakin Skywalker inflicted on the galaxy.
The conversation now reverts back to her and Ben. The professor leans forward in her chair to ask conspiratorially, "Are you and my grandson enjoying putting one over on the galaxy? How is forbidden love?"
"You tell me." That's why she's here.
Lady Vader purses her lips, considers the issue, and decides, "Our love wasn't forbidden exactly. But it was dangerous. Lord Vader had many enemies who might seek to harm me to gain leverage over him." She gives Rey an appraising look. "I suppose both you and my grandson have that same issue. Many people would love to use you against one another."
Rey nods and laments, "No one here will ever understand our relationship."
"No, they won't." Old Lady Vader tells her bluntly, "You'll be arrested on the spot. You'd never live down the shame and the censure."
"I know." It will be a blot on her and on the Jedi forever, she fears. Rey now starts confessing her sins. She's not particularly close to Astral Sidhu, but this secret Sith wife is the only person in the Republic who won't condemn her for her relationship to Ben. Lady Vader knows what life is like for the Skywalkers, and she can appreciate from personal experience the risks of treason. Rey starts confiding, "I'm lying to everyone. Important people. Friends who trust me. It's . . . it's . . . "
"Hard."
Rey nods vigorously. "Very hard."
"Lies and danger come with the territory," the professor tells her plainly. "Loving men like ours requires sacrifice. You have to see the larger picture."
"I do."
"Then you can handle it."
Rey shoots Lady Vader a frown. "You're not going to tell me to stand by my man, are you?" Because that's not the sort of advice she's looking for.
The professor shakes her head no. "Just be careful not to lose yourself in his goals. It's not all about him."
Rey bristles, suddenly feeling like her contributions are being diminished. She's no passive bystander in this fight. She's an integral part of it. "Peace and balance are our goals, not just his goals."
"I'm glad to hear you say that," her hostess answers smoothly. "Rey, I want to help. My husband's sacrifice is wasted if Lord Sidious lives and if the Force is never balanced. My Anakin will have died in vain."
"Like so many others," Rey sighs.
"Yes. The cost to all this is very high," Lady Vader concedes. Her bereft expression reminds Rey that Astral Sidhu didn't get her happy ending. The professor just got the fleeting stolen moments, like she did today with Ben. And now, this old lady only has distant memories to keep her company. Lady Vader's experience is everything that scares Rey about the important three words Ben told her today through the bond.
The old woman imparts her wisdom: "I have lived long enough to see three wars and to have my planet obliterated. Rey, I am like so many others in the galaxy—my life is defined more by what I have lost than by what I have gained in my accomplishments. This cycle of civil war has to end. No one wins if it continues."
"I know. That's why I'm doing this."
Lady Vader starts sounding very much like a Skywalker now. She quietly insists, "You were born to do this. Even had you refused and run from the responsibility, it would have found you in the end. If loving Darth Vader taught me anything," the old lady finishes glumly, "it's that you cannot escape your destiny."
This woman is scaring her. Rey came here for reassurance, not this much honesty. She looks down and gulps.
The professor notices. Her face softens. "I know something about the burden you and Ben both bear. I was married to the original Chosen One. Anakin had known of his task since age ten when the Jedi found him. Some treated him as a prophet, others feared the change he would bring, but most looked to him as a leader. They thought he had all the answers. He didn't. Not as a Jedi, nor as a Sith. Mostly, he had questions, and they frustrated him."
"But that's the point," Rey asserts. "Neither of the old religions had the answers. We need something new."
"For that, you need to break with the past," Lady Vader sounds just like Ben.
But Rey focuses on the persistent foe who represents the past: "For that, we need to destroy Lord Sidious."
"Yes," the professor agrees. "Rey, I wish I could tell you how to do it. I wish I had advice for you and for Ben. But I don't. All I can say is that I honor what you fight for. I respect the courage it takes to be you. I wish you and my grandson all the best."
Her words are sincere, but they are scant consolation. This is the problem with throwing out the past, Rey realizes. There's no one to guide you and relying on experience could be a trap back to the conventional thinking that got you in this mess in the first place. Lately, Rey is as much an iconoclast as Ben has become. She's just far less confident about the long-term success of their efforts. Insecurity for the future is nothing new for her personally thanks to Jakku. But this is different. They are gambling with the lives of trillions and the future of the galaxy. That's a lot of pressure, and it's getting her down. With the peace process off to a slow start and the pain of parting from Ben still fresh, Rey is feeling discouraged.
The professor now reminisces, "I had given up on finding love when I met my Sith Apprentice. Lord Vader had done the same in his own way. I don't think he had ever contemplated finding love again after his first wife died and he failed at resurrecting her. We were in our forties, each well settled into our lives. Neither of us was seeking a connection, but it happened anyway."
Rey sheepishly volunteers, "The Force brought Ben and I together."
Lady Vader doesn't find that statement the least bit ridiculous. "My husband used to say that the Force works in mysterious ways. He thought there were no coincidences for a Chosen One. His life was his own to lead, but only to a point."
"That sounds like Ben talking."
Lady Vader nods. "You might both be the Force's favorites, but you still have choices. Use them wisely. Love is precious. Safeguard it, Rey."
"Okay." And wait—when did the conversation shift back to talking about her and Ben? Rey hastens to correct the professor. "Ben and I are not in love. Well, maybe he's in love . . . I mean, I guess we are married by the Force . . . and we care for each other . . . it's just . . . just . . . complicated," she finishes lamely.
"Everything about our family is complicated," Lady Vader says flatly. "But love doesn't have to be complicated."
Oh, come on. "We're on opposite sides of a war!" Rey reminds her. "That's complicated."
"Fair enough. But you will find a way."
"We don't know the way—that's the problem!" Rey half wails.
"Just be patient and set your priorities. That will guide you."
Okay. With a deep breath, Rey decides, "Peace is my priority." As a Jedi, her guiding principle should be the interests of everyone.
"Very good. But make love a close second."
There the professor goes again with the love talk. Rey makes a face. "Peace and love . . . that sounds like a theme from a cheesy holonet show."
"Maybe so," the old lady muses, "but it also sounds wonderful."
"Yeah . . . yeah, I guess it does," Rey reconsiders. Prioritizing love strikes her as a bit selfish. Like a forbidden attachment the old Jedi Order would condemn. But the Force seems to want her and Ben together as a team. Perhaps what's best for them as a couple is what's best for the galaxy as a whole.
"I am always here as a listening ear or as shopping buddy should you need a new dress," the professor now offers with a smile.
"Thank you." Rey takes that as her cue to leave. Still, she pauses on the door threshold to ask, "What was Darth Vader like? As a person, I mean." She's been conditioned to hate the man, but Rey now wonders if that opinion is unfair given his plight. The man beneath the mask of Kylo Ren is very different than the galaxy perceives. Perhaps Darth Vader was much the same.
Her question makes old Lady Vader smile. "When my husband put on the mask and the suit, he put on the persona of Dark Lord of the Sith. That's the man from the newsfeeds. But he was more than that."
"Tell me."
"When I met him, he was reeling from defeat at Yavin, half dead from his Master's punishment, and stuck in a deep depression. But even then, he was stubbornly determined to make things better. Anakin Skywalker had a strong streak of altruism. Snoke would say that was the Light in him . . . the hope . . ."
"Did he ever talk about balance?"
"Not really. He was a pragmatic man. Not a person given to ideology or theory. He made decisions and moved on. If the decisions were wrong, he would correct them. He didn't spend a lot of time agonizing over what was best. He didn't have the luxury of time."
"Oh."
The older woman now meets her eyes steadily. "Rey, you should know that Darth Vader wanted to make things better. He was far less concerned with power than he was with order."
"Order. That sounds like Ben."
"My husband had been sent to war as a teenaged Jedi. He knew war's toll. More than anything, he wanted to keep the galaxy unified. It's why he was ruthless with the Rebellion. He feared another civil war and the chaos and disorder it would bring."
Rey opens her mouth to speak, but the professor preempts her. She knows where Rey is heading—back to a debate about the Republic versus the Empire. She's having none of it. "Rey, you and Darth Vader would have disagreed on how to make things better, but you would have agreed on the goal. My husband was no monster," his widow contends. "I barely recognize him in today's historical accounts. They get the facts mostly right but the purpose and the context all wrong. And in doing so, they completely miss the meaning of the man."
"Ben reveres him . . ." Rey allows. What certainly began as manipulation by Snoke has long since taken hold as permanent hero worship.
"Darth Vader believed he was a failure as a Jedi and a failure as a Sith," Astral Sidhu divulges very matter of fact. "My husband had given up hope of ever balancing the Force on his own. He thought he was too weak from his injuries. He wanted his son to help him but, well, you know how that worked out . . . "
"Right." Luke Skywalker ruined things by insisting on being a traditional Jedi. It ultimately cost him his nephew and sent him into exile. And that's how the present-day situation arose. Resistance to compromise has led the galaxy back to polarization time and time again, Rey knows.
The professor flashes a smile and cocks her head. "He would have liked you."
"Really?" She can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
"Oh, yes. Anakin was raised a Jedi among some tough, fierce women. They might not have been the mother figures he needed, but he appreciated their talents."
"I guess that's good," Rey equivocates. She's still not sold on ret-conning Darth Vader as some sort of Force martyr. "Well, I'll be seeing you. Thank you."
"Come back any time. May the Force be with you," the old lady bids her goodbye with formal solemnity. Those aren't rote words to her, Rey knows. Astral Sidhu means them.
It prompts her to answer with the traditional response: "And also with you."
As she walks away, Rey decides that it has been some consolation to speak aloud her concerns to someone—to anyone-supportive. But it hasn't yielded any concrete answers. She and Ben are going to have to find a way forward somehow . . . for themselves, for the galaxy, and for the Force. Are peace and love really the answers? Rey wonders. She has chosen peace as her priority, so much so that she's betraying the Republic for that goal. Is it time for her to choose love as well? Should she be telling Ben 'I love you' when the bond next opens? It's a scary but intriguing thought.
She has always prided herself on her grit. She's tough, with physical stamina honed in the desert and emotional fortitude forged from isolation. She can handle herself in extreme situations. But she didn't survive by taking unnecessary risks. And so, to willingly make herself vulnerable for an uncertain love is a very intimidating prospect. It's asking her to be brave in ways Rey never has been. Few would believe it, but it's far easier for her to face down Darth Sidious alone with a sword in her hand than to confess that she adores the enemy Sith Apprentice who stands for many things she believes in, and some things she does not. As usual, Ben Solo is pushing her out of her comfort zone and challenging what she thinks she knows. For in this, as in everything, he is a disruptor. He's asking the Republic to take a leap of faith with peace and asking her to take a leap of faith with love. Clearly, the Republic is not ready, but is she? Well, maybe, Rey thinks.