It's been two weeks since Felix and I kissed. We haven't spoken as friends since and our conversations in meeting are clipped and strictly business. Classes seem to move slower these days, ever since the 'new school' hype has worn off. Becky and I hang out a lot more, and although she would never say it to my face, she seems to be a lot happier thinking that Jacob and I are no longer together. I see Jacob most night, I usually stay at his place 5 nights a week and the dorms 2. I'm slightly worried that our current predicament is too much like, as if I was moving in. Most of my wardrobe is his closet, and a lot of new items which he had buys for me against my will. I look over the the wall, 45 minutes left of English. Becky sat next to me and for some odd reason seemed infatuated with what we were learning. I think it was Jekyll and Hyde, but I can't be sure. What happened to me? I use to be the student who would be extra early to class, and hang onto every word the teacher said. But right now, I can barely keep my eyes open.

In search of something remotely interesting, I open my emails. I open one that's from the Dean of Admissions.

To: Emma Langa

Subject: Scholarship application

From: Jilion J. Valentine

CONGRATULATIONS on a job well done. You are a recipient of the 2020-2021 Babicci Scholarship. Through your hard work and determination you have proven to be a student that Columbia Law wants to recognize and encourage to continue your educational effort.

This scholarship will be sent directly to the college listed on your application, indicating that it will cover tuition, book fees, dormitory costs, and should be treated as a scholarship of additional funds to you, not simply to replace other college funds given in your financial packet.

In order for the YCF to issue the first payment, you will need to contact the college you are attending to get a proof of enrollment. You can have the school send it directly to us, P.O. Box 409, YCF Scranton, Pennsylvania 18519. This gives YCF the necessary verification to send the first payment to your college and for you to have use of the funds. After we receive the proof of eNRolment for the first payment, the YCF will contact your college to verify enrollment for subsequent payments. Each time a payment is made you will receive a copy of the check and the letter that was sent to your college. Payments will be made in early August and January. This scholarship is a two-year (four semesters) award, payable in 80,000 increments each semester, contingent upon your verification as a full-time student. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the YCF office at or at

Columbia Law wishes you continued success throughout your college career and on.

Sincerely,

Grants and Scholarships Committee Council Columbia

Babicci Scholarship

Oh My God this is amazing. 80,000! They don't make scholarships that much! Do they? Who cares! Holy crap! I have to tell Jacob.

I get out my phone and text him.

I got the scholarship! It's a full ride!

That's amazing baby! I told you you could do it!

Did you do anything to interfere?

No! This was all you.

I'm so excited! Thank you for believing in me.

I always believe in you. I have to go, the police are are here.

My stomach leps into my throat. Do they know? They couldn't possibly. Could they?

Is everything ok?

I get no response and I start to panic. If I thought the lesson was slow before, the next 30 minutes felt like 30 hours. I look around for Paul, the security detail Jacob placed on me, but just as Jacob promised he was incognito. Damn it. I tried getting ahold of his personal assistant Zayn, but it went to voicemail. Next I tried Peter, but apparently nobody likes to answer their phones anymore! I didn't know where else to call. I stalked the social sites to see if anything lequed about his arrest. Nothing. "Emma. My socially repressed friend. How are you?" Becky jokes swinging her arm over my shoulder. "You look worried, is everything okay?" she asks, becoming slightly more serious.

"Everything's fine. I was just looking got you," I lie.

"Party tonight, Frat house. Please say your in."

"Becky-" I start to protest.

"Pleaseeee," she begged again "I say this with complete sensitivity, but ever since you and my brother called it quits, you've been in a funk. I hate to see you like it."

Of course, we hadn't called it quits, but I know what she means about my 'Funk'. Ever since Felix and I kissed, I feel so guilty as I should when I think about Jacob. Which is inconvenient becuase he's always on my mind. "Okay," I grumble in defeat.

"Yay!" she claps her hands. "Be ready at 8 'kay."

"Mhmm," I mumble absentmindedly doing calculations in my head. If it's 1 o'clock now, that means after my political science class later today, I'll get to the apartment at 6 pm giving me enough time to grab some clothes and find out what's going on. Eventually I find Zayn, but he too can't reach anyone. "Can I drive?" I ask him.

"Mr Reynolds asked that you remain in the backseat of the car the entire time becuase it' the safest."

"I would really like to drive." I persist.

"I don't think Mr Reynold would be happy with me-"

"My Reynolds isn't here. I am, so, keys please." I speed slightly over the limit in the car. Zayn is basically gripping the seat with his life, scared to death by my driving. When were only about 5 minutes away he gets a call, and I can faintly hear the person on the other end.

"Why is she driving?!" The voice on the line yells. Jacob.

"I'm afraid she insisted in it sir."

"Sorry Jacob!" I yel so he can hear me.

"She better not be on the goddamn phone right now if your letting her drive!"

"Chillax babe, your just really loud-Shit!" I yell as I slam the breaks. The cab in front of me stopped abruptly to pick up a person in the middle of the freakin road.

"That's it. Get her out of the car and swap. If she gets into an accident, I'm holding you personally responsible."

"Jacob I'm pulling into the garage now. Please chill out a bit."

--

When I arrive upstairs Jacobs angrily waiting at the elevator for me. "How much do you love me," he asks.

"Too much."

"Then why did you insist on doing the one thing that can hurt me, which is putting yourself in danger?"

"I was only asking becuase I couldn't get ahold of you or Peter and the last thing you told me was that the police were there and I thought-"

he takes a swift step forward and holds me, his voice takes on a softer edge when he says, "They was just an issue with employee records and security footage being hacked, building wide so I had to look into it and give a statement."

"Oh."

"Come. I've been waiting for you to get home." He guides me into the bedroom, and lying on the bed are some toys. "Strip." He commands.

I undressed. My movements were slow and careful, because my pulse was already thrumming too quickly. I was practically panting, the anticipation painfully acute. I hung my clothes on a hanger in the small closet, then climbed gingerly onto the raised bed. I pick up the restraints in my hands, doubting and second-guessing myself, when Jacob walks closer in.

"You're not lying down," he said gently, closing the bedroom door behind him.

I held up the restraints.

"Custom made, just for you." He approached, his nimble fingers already freeing the buttons of his shirt. "Royal Blue is our color."

Jacob undressed as slowly as I had, affording me the opportunity to appreciate every inch of skin he exposed. He knew the rippling of his muscles beneath the rough silk of his tanned flesh would be an aphrodisiac to me.

"Am I ready for this?" I asked softly.

His gaze stayed on my face as he removed his pants. When he stood in just his black boxer briefs, his cock a thick bulge in the front, he answered, "Never more than you can take, mi amour. I promise you that."

Taking a deep breath, I lay back, setting the cuffs on my belly. He came to me, his face tight with lust. He settled on the bed beside me and lifted my hand to his mouth, kissing my wrist. "Your pulse is racing."

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

He picked up the cuffs, deftly unhooking the strip of crimson silk that held the two suede wrist pieces together. "Being bound helps you surrender, but it doesn't have to be literal. It just has to be enough to get you in the right headspace."

My stomach quivered as he laid the strap across it. He set one cuff on his thigh and held up the other.

"Give me your wrist, baby." This was all going so fast.

I extended my hand to him, my breathing quickening as he fastened the suede snugly. The feel of the primitive material against my fluttering pulse was surprisingly arousing.

"That's not too tight, is it?" he asked.

"No."

"You should feel the constriction enough to be constantly aware of it, but it shouldn't hurt you."

I swallowed. "It doesn't hurt."

"Good." He bound my other wrist similarly, then straightened to admire his handwork. "Beautiful," he murmured.

"Jacob." My apprehension left me, chased away by the warmth of his love and desire. I was precious to him. He would never push me further than I could go.

"Reach up and grip the sides of the pillow," he ordered.

I did, and the tightening of my wrists made me even more aware of the cuffs. I felt bound. Captured.

"Feel it?" he asked, and I understood.

I loved him so much in that moment it hurt. "Yes."

"I'm going to tell you to close your eyes," he went on, standing and taking off the final bit of clothing he wore. He was heavily aroused, his thick cock bobbing under its own weight, the wide crown shiny with pre-cum. My mouth flooded, hunger pulsing through me. He was so hot for me, so hungry, and yet you'd never know it from his voice or the calm he radiated.

His perfect restraint made me wet. Gideon was the best of everything for me, a man who wanted me ferociously—which I so urgently needed to feel secure—but with enough self-possession to keep from overwhelming me.

"I want you to keep your eyes closed if you can," he continued, his voice low and soothing, "but if it gets to be too much, open them."

"Okay."

He picked up the satin strap and ran it lightly over my skin. The cool metal of the fastener at one end caught on my nipple, making it pucker. "Close your eyes."

I followed the command. Almost instantly, I became sharply aware of the pressure at my wrists. The vibration and dull hum of the plane's engines became more pronounced. My lips parted. My breathing sped up.

The strap glided over my cleavage to my other breast. "You're so beautiful, mi amour. Perfect. You have no idea what it does to me seeing you like this."

"Jacob," I whispered, desperately in love with him. "Tell me."

His splayed fingertips touched my throat, and then began a slow slide down my torso. "My heart's beating as fast as yours."

I arched and shivered beneath his slightly ticklish touch. "Good."

"I'm so hard it hurts."

"I'm wet."

"Show me," he said roughly. "Spread your legs." His fingers slid through my cleft. "Yes. You're slick and hot, baby."

My sex clenched hungrily, my entire body responding to his touch.

"Ah, Emma. You've got the greediest pussy. I'm going to spend the rest of my life keeping it satisfied."

"You should start now."

He laughed softly. "Actually, we're starting with your mouth. I need you to suck me off so I can fuck you easier."

"Oh my God," I giggled.

The mattress dipped as he climbed onto it. I felt him work his way toward me until he knelt beside my shoulder. "Be a good girl now, Emma. Turn toward me and open your mouth."

Eager, I obeyed. The silky soft crest of his cock brushed over my lips and I opened wider, absorbing the shock of pleasure I felt at the sound of his tormented groan. His fingers pushed into my hair, his palm cupping the back of my neck. Holding me where he wanted me.

"God," he gasped. "Your mouth is just as greedy."

The position I was in, on my back with my hands gripping the pillow, prevented me from taking more than the thick head. I mouthed him, my tongue flickering over the sensitive hole at the tip, thrilled by the joy of focusing on Gideon. Going down on him wasn't selfless for me. In fact, it was mostly for me that I loved it so much.

"That's it," he encouraged, rocking his hips to fuck my mouth. "Suck my cock just like that ... so good, mi amour. You make me come so hard."

I breathed him in, feeling my body respond to his scent, instinctively reacting to its mate. With all of my senses saturated with Jacob, I gave myself over to our mutual pleasure.

"Emma." He took my mouth in a sweet, hungry kiss. "I'm not nearly done with you."

And in an instant he shoved himself inside me.

Ah," I groan, while Jacobs fingers continue to move inside me. I'm close...all this stimulation.. Tilting my head back, I moan loudly and Jacob stills his fingers. All sensation stops.

"No! Jacob," I plead, trying to thrust my hips forward for some friction.

"Still, baby," he says while my impending orgasm melts away. He leans forward once more and kisses me.

"Annoying, isn't it? When your basically promised something then have it taken away so quickly. " he murmurs.

"Jacob, please."

"Hush," he says and kisses me. And he starts to move again - wand, fingers, thumb - a lethal combination of sensual torture. He shifts so his body brushes against mine. He's still dressed, and the soft denim of his jeans brushes against my leg, his erection at my hip. So tantalizingly close. He brings me to the brink again, my body singing with need, and stops.

"No," I mewl loudly.

He plants soft wet kisses on my shoulder as he withdraws his fingers from me, and moves the wand down. It oscillates over my stomach, my belly, onto my sex, against my clitoris. Fuck, it's intense.

"Ah!" I cry out, pulling hard on the restraints.

My body is so sensitized I feel I am going to explode, and just as I am, Jacob stops again.

"Jacob!" I cry out.

"Frustrating, yes?" he murmurs against my throat. "Just like you. Promising one thing and then . . ." His voice trails off.

"Jacob, please!" I beg.

He pushes his palm against me again and again, stopping just at the vital moment each time. Ah!

"Each time I stop, it feels more intense when I start again. Right?"

"Please," I whimper. My nerve endings are screaming for release. The rubbing stops and Jacob kisses me. He runs his nose down mine. "You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met."

No, No, No.

"Jacob, what are you talking about?"

He moves in front of me, grabs my behind and pushes his hips against me, making me gasp - his groin rubbing into mine, the buttons of his jeans pressing into me, barely containing his erection. With one hand he pulls off the blindfold and grasps my chin, and I blink up into his scorching eyes.

"I love you, but you drive me crazy," he whispers, flexing his hips against me once, twice, three times more, causing my body to spark - ready to burn. And again he denies me. I want him so badly. I need him so badly. I close my eyes and mutter a prayer. I can't help but feel I'm being punished. I'm helpless and he's ruthless. Tears spring to my eyes. I don't know how far he's going to take this.

"I love you. Please," I whisper once more. But he gazes down at me, implacable. He's just going to continue. For how long? Can I play this game? No. No. No - I can't do this. I know he's not going to stop. He's going to continue to torture me. His hand travels down my body once more. No . . . And the dam bursts - all the apprehension, the anxiety, and the fear from the last couple of days overwhelming me anew as tears spring to my eyes. I turn away from him. This is not love. It's revenge. "Why?" I whimper

He continues his delicious assault. "Two weeks I gave you. I love you, and you kissed him. You said you loved me and then kissed someone else. You denied me your faithfulness, so now I'm denying you."

"Blue," I whimper. "Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue." I cry, He stills.

"No," he gasps, stunned. "Jesus Christ, no."

He moves quickly, unclipping my hands, clasping me around my waist and leaning down to unclip my ankles, while I put my head in my hands and weep.

"No, no, no. Emma, please. No."

Picking me up he sits us down and sitting down and cradling me in his lap while I sob inconsolably. I'm overwhelmed...my body wound up to breaking point, my mind a blank and my emotions scattered to the wind. He reaches behind him, drags the sheet off the bed and drapes it around us. The cool sheets feel alien and unwelcome against my sensitized skin. He wraps his arms around me, hugging me close, rocking me gently backward and forward.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Jacob murmurs, his voice raw. He kisses my hair over and over again. "Emma, forgive me, please."

Turning my face into his neck, I continue to cry, and it's a cathartic release. So much has happened over the last few days - fires in computer rooms, car chases, careers planned out for me, slutty architects, armed lunatics in the apartment, arguments, his anger - and Jacob has been away. I hate Jacob going away . . . I use the corner of the sheet to wipe my nose and gradually become aware that the clinical tones of Bach are still echoing around the room.

"I'm sorry," he says again.

"Why did you do that?" My voice is barely audible as I try to process my scrambled thoughts and feelings.

He shakes his head sadly and closes his eyes. "I got lost in the moment," he says unconvincingly.

I frown at him, and he sighs. "Emma. Orgasm denial is a fucked up punishment - I never thought-" He stops. I shift in his lap, and he winces. He leans back suddenly, taking me with him, so that we're both lying on the bed, me in his arms. My bra is uncomfortable, and I adjust it.

"Need a hand?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head. I don't want him to touch my breasts. He shifts so he's looking down at me, and tentatively raising his hand, he strokes his fingers gently down my face. Tears pool in my eyes again. How can he be so callous one minute and so tender the next?

"Please don't cry," he whispers.

I'm dazed and confused by this man. I get out of his hold, becuase even though it's the only place I want to be right now, I can't. "Don't ever punish me with sex Jacob."

"I know and I-"

"Clearly you don't know! I'm fucking terrified. Your scaring me. Don't you understand, I've never been in a physical relationship with anyone else before. Ever. I trust you to take the lead. You just broke that trust. I am so sorry that I let him kiss me, and that I may have kissed back, I have felt shit about it since it happened. And I'm am so sorry that I didn't tell you. I should have. But what you just did-who you just became, was a completely different person. And I love you too much, that I know that I would die for you. I would give up anything and everything for you, including my agency and respectability as an individual. And if I can't trust you to understand what that means then I need to-to take a step back for a bit."

"No!" he begs, springing up from the bed.

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Emma please don't leave again."

"I'm not. Im going to stay in the guest room, becuase I think we need some space tonight, but like I promised you before, I'm not going to leave. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Emma-"

"Goodnight Jacob."