Ortho Goddess: Chapter XXVII

Getting back to the daily grind in New York had been easier than expected. Almost the second Callie returned, she had been sucked into reality at the hospital. It must have been a full moon or something, but it seemed like people had been saving up all their broken bones and weird surgical cases until Callie returned to New York. It had been crazy busy and she had barely had the time to do anything other than work, eat and sleep. It was not until the clocking system notified her she had maxed out on her hours that she realized she needed a break. She ran into Emma in the locker room and they had decided to go for a drink to wind down.

Callie sighed and rested her head on her hand while she downed a shot of Tequila. "I'm so confused, you know," she said to Emma, who was sitting next to her, looking equally exhausted. A big accident on the highway with dozens of casualties had been keeping them occupied for the past 24 hours, both surgeons pulling double shifts.

They still had not talked since that night at Callie's apartment, but it had not stopped them from being civil to each other. There had barely been any time to fight either, but Callie just did not get that vibe from Emma, like she wanted or needed to fight. She was stand-offish, more distant than she was before, but she was still friendly. The blonde still soothed her and that was what she needed right now. Her life was being turned upside down and she needed someone she could rely on. Someone that had her back. A friend.

"Life is confusing," the blonde retorted while she ordered another round.

"Now we are arranging things and she texts me….," Callie paused to accept her next shot and nursed the glass for a moment. "And whenever she does….it…it makes me smile." Was it wrong to talk about Arizona to Emma? Callie did not really care right now. She was the type of person to process her thoughts out loud.

It was obvious Callie was talking about her ex-wife, even though she did not stress it. Emma had caught on though and was listening as intently as possible on a slight alcohol buzz.

Emma chuckled. "And is that a bad thing?"

"No…," Callie's initial reaction was backed up by her face looking like Emma had just said the weirdest thing ever. "Yes…yes, it's a bad thing. She left me for Africa and then she cheated on me. And then…"

Callie did not get to finish her sentence because Emma cut her off. The blonde put her hand on Callie's arm. "That's in the past," she said. "Things that happened in the past should stay just there. If you keep holding on to them, how are you going to ever move forward?" She downed her shot and looked straight at Callie, who was toying with the coaster in front of her. "It's our job to learn from things that happened. To make ourselves better, knowing what we do and don't want to happen again."

Dark brown eyes locked with green and Callie flashed Emma a questioning look. She could not for the life of her read the woman next to her. Why was she being so nice? Callie had pretty much dumped her not too long ago and she was showing no emotions whatsoever. It was confusing. And why was she complaining about this? She had told Emma she needed a friend and Emma was being a friend. Why was there a problem?

"Our past actions, whether they were mistakes or not, don't define who we are." Emma looked away for a moment as if she was contemplating something. "It's whether we learn from them and are willing to adjust."

Callie chuckled. "Who died and made you a spiritual guru?"

"Callie," Emma said, trying to catch her attention. "I'm saying something here. You are not the same person you were when you first moved here. I mean…look at us…we changed in the past two years. I was pretty sure you hated me when we first started working together and now…." She paused. Things between them were a little weird. Okay, maybe that was an understatement. But that did not mean they could not enjoy each other's company. Or have a normal conversation. "Well…let's just say you don't hate me." Emma winked at Callie when saying those last words, making the dark-haired woman chuckle. "You can't assume that your ex-wife is still the same person she was when you left for New York. The New York time zone is not the only time moving forward."

Emma had a point. The way Arizona and her had been with each other had changed over the past two years. Things had been awkward in the beginning. They had stayed civil and mostly talked about Sofia. They had always been friendly with each other, but Callie could see it had become more of a friendship over time.

"Maybe you should stop thinking so hard," Emma teased Callie, her lips curling into a big smirk. "You might pull a muscle."

"A brain doesn't have muscles, Caplan, what kind of surgeon are you?"

"Shut up, Torres. I'm an award-winning surgeon and you know it." They clinked their glasses together and both down another shot. "If there is anything I learned in the past few years it's that I don't have control over what happens in my life. The only thing I can control is how open I am to new possibilities and how I deal with the stuff that's being thrown at me."

Callie shrugged. "I hate it when you're right."

"No, you don't. You loooooove it," Emma teased.

They both laughed and continued talking. Emma had some valid points that made Callie wonder. But it also made her realize that there were things that still needed to be addressed.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

Emma shrugged. "You said you needed a friend."

"Thanks, Caplan."

They looked at each other and all of a sudden, the air between them changed. Callie's eyes glazed over, darkening slightly and she felt something in the pit of her stomach. It was probably alcohol-induced, but it was good to feel something. Something other than dread or confusion. It was only there for a few seconds though, before she corrected herself. They were not going there again. She blinked a couple of times and the hazy look was gone.

"Emma," she said quietly, her hand moving to rest on the blonde's arm.

"No, you don't get to do that, Callie," Emma said while removing her arm from Callie's gentle grasp. Her voice sounded stern, but the look in her eyes was gentle. "You seem to have decided that I'm all heartbroken and torn and now you're trying to fix it. That's not how this is going to go down."

Callie looked at the blonde in front of her in shock. Emma was right and she had not even realized it. In the past days, she had painted a picture of how things were. She had painted a picture of how Emma was doing and how she was dealing with their situation. But it had all been her picture. The fact of the matter was that she had no idea how Emma was feeling.

"We had….an agreement," Emma continued, not letting Callie get a word in. "We had a good time. A very good time." Emma's lips involuntarily curled into a smile at her own words, making Callie smile in turn. "And yeah, we..ah..we might have passed the limits of our agreement a while ago, but that doesn't mean…" she sighed. "It doesn't mean we can't be friends. We just…we just have to stop sleeping together."

"I'm sorry for…."

"No, Callie," Emma shook her head, adding some extra force to her words. "You have not once asked me how I feel, you just assumed. And that's fine if you need that for whatever process you are going through, but don't involve me in it."

Callie felt really small. The safety she had felt earlier by Emma's presence seemed to have dissipated. Her gut told her to get up and leave, but that would be running. She had promised herself and her father she was not going to do that.

"So much for being nice," she mumbled under her breath before signaling to the bartender she wanted another round.

Emma chuckled. "I'm a frickin' peach." She put her hand on Callie's arm and gently squeezed. "Callie, in all seriousness though," she paused, waiting for the raven-haired woman to catch on. "I'm fine, you didn't break my heart or anything. You said you needed a friend, let me be your friend. I still like you."

"I don't like me," Callie uttered, obviously wallowing in drunken self-pity.

The blonde got up from her bar stool and playfully but gently smacked Callie over the head. "Snap out of it, Torres. You are nice, you are beautiful and you're a grown-ass woman, act like it."

"Ow!" Callie yelped as she moved her hands up to protect her head. It had not hurt, but she needed to play the victim for a second. She earned it. The playful telling off seemed to work though because the air around them changed again. It became slightly lighter. "You are weird, Caplan. I don't understand you sometimes."

"I get that a lot," Emma replied with a cheeky grin on her face. "But I understand me and that's all I need, really. I might be weird, but I'm also pretty awesome."

Callie chuckled and shook her head. "That you are. You are badass."

"We are badass, Torres." Emma had downed another shot and ordered the next round. "And we're gonna toast to that."

For a moment, Callie just gazed at Emma. For the past two years, the blonde had been a constant in her life and she had come to care about her. It had been a roller coaster, but it seemed like they had survived that. But most of all, Callie realized that she had learned so much from Emma. Their friendship had been pretty much drama-free, bar the beginning where she tried to keep the woman at arm's length. And the rest of it had been like a breath of fresh air. She did not intend on starting any drama now and it looked like Emma was not going to let her. "Thank you."

Emma raised her eyebrow at Callie, flashing her a confused look. "What for?"

"Just…thank you."

"Yeah, I think this is going to be our last drink," Emma teased. "You are past your limit and I don't want you to end up declaring your undying love for me or something."

Callie snorted at Emma's remark. Even though it was a joke, Emma was spot on. She was in the middle of contemplating just how awesome the woman had been to her. "How do you do that?" She asked while picking up her shot. Emma had done that since the beginning when they barely knew each other.

"Do what?"

"Read people like an open book?"

"You are an open book, Callie."

"No, I'm not."

"Are too."

"I'm a mystery."

Without warning, Emma cracked up, spitting out the shot she just downed a second ago. The blonde was covered in Tequila and crying out laughing. Callie just looked perplexed at her friend before cracking up herself. Emma's laughter was too infectious and she was too drunk to care.

When they both managed to compose themselves, Emma pursed her lips. "So, what are you gonna do about it?"

"About what? Being awesome?"

The blonde chuckled. "No, I mean about what you feel for your ex-wife?"

"I don't…."

"Really, Torres? You were spilling your guts to me about that ten seconds ago."

"Okay, so maybe I do feel some type of way about it. But I'm not gonna go there, Emma. She….no one in the world hurt me as much as Arizona did. I can't let that happen again. I barely made it out the last time."

Emma frowned and tried to clean her shirt with a napkin, to no avail. "I've seen your smiles, you know," she said without looking at Callie. "And I get it. If I was in a similar situation with Anne…I don't know what I would do. But for sure I would not say no before anything even happened." She signed and paused for a moment. "Why are you racking your brain about it when you don't even know what it is yet? Maybe it's just because you're happy that she is around and that you get to co-parents from up close instead of from a long distance."

Callie nodded while listening, her mind going a mile a minute even though she was slightly inebriated. Just when she was about to speak, Emma continued talking.

"Or maybe it is because you want to jump her bones." The blonde giggled at her own words and flashed Callie a look she knew all too well. She got it when Emma was about to jump her bones. "And so what? If that were to happen, who cares? You're not killing anyone with it and you are both consenting adults. So why worry so much about what could happen? Truth is that you never know what's going to happen. Even if you think of all the possible outcomes, life will probably throw you the outcome you did not even think of."

"No one is jumping anyone's bones," Callie retorted. "No matter what happens, I'm not doing that. We have Sofia to think of. That would only confuse her."

Emma chuckled. "Torres, the night is still young and I'm a single lady, I'll decide for myself if I'll be jumping anyone's bones."

The dark-haired woman shook her head and flashed Emma a grin. "Yeah, I bet that will work really well with Tequila all over your shirt. You're some catch, Caplan. I think it's time we both go home." Emma talked a great deal, but Callie knew the blonde was not as much of a player as she was trying to let her believe. She had seen how Anne and Emma were with each other and even though she knew Emma was right, she also knew Emma did not follow her own advice.

"There is a lot I could say to that," Emma started, pointing her finger in the air as if she was going to say something super important. "But I will refrain from putting my foot in my mouth and all that."

"Very wise of you, Caplan. We should really go though, I'm picking up Arizona and Sofia tomorrow and I don't want to do that with a hangover."

They paid their bill and walked out of the bar together. Emma stopped Callie in the alley and squeezed her arm.

"Callie, in all seriousness, I'm here for you, ok? I'm your friend, you can always talk to me."

Callie smiled and looked at Emma for a moment, not really knowing what to say. She hoped her eyes would make it clear to the blonde. After a short moment of silence, she spoke up. "I know, thank you." She wrapped her arms around the slightly smaller woman and pulled her in for a tight hug. "And thank you for not…..making things awkward between us."

Emma chuckled. "You mean for not letting you make things awkward?" She said with a shit-eating grin on her face while pulling back from the hug and dodging the gentle swat Callie was trying to give her. "In another place and another time….." her voice trailed off. "But I think we're better as friends. You became a big part of my life and I'd like to keep it that way. You mean a lot to me, Calliope." A tear ran down Emma's cheek and she roughly wiped it, trying to hide the emotions behind her words.

She had noticed though and Callie was not going to let Emma get away with it this time. There had not been many moments where Emma had really shown her vulnerability and actually voiced her feelings, so she felt she needed to savor the moment. "It's ok, Em," she said in a sweet tone of voice as she gently ran her hand up and down Emma's arm. "I feel the same way. You've helped me a lot with your advice and by just being there for me. It's good to know I have someone that always has my back, at work and outside of it."

Callie's Uber had arrived and announced itself by honking, startling both women.

Emma nodded and flashed Callie a smile. "Well, glad we agree on that. Let's stop being all sappy, we both know this is the alcohol talking." She tip-toed slightly and planted a soft kiss on Callie's cheek. "Good luck with your girls tomorrow." With that, she walked off towards her house.

"See you around, Caplan."