Cosima

December 21st 2018

Cosima makes her way through the streets, wishing for snow. It would be better than the cold days and the rain, at least in some ways. And she's already abandoned her shoes for winter boots and her long red coat. She hurries and tries not to fall on the slippery pavement. She doesn't want to miss this lunch date.

Maybe she should have brought an umbrella… Cosima thinks as she dodges into a subway station and hustles down the stairs, swiping her fare card, just in time to catch the train. She sits and lets out a sigh. The lab is closed, and she'd let herself get too relaxed the last two days. She won't even have to go back in until the new year.

Either way, she exits the subway, and finds the agreed upon restaurant. Delphine, of course, is waiting for her inside and smiles through the glass door.

"You made it." Delphine seems relieved.

"I'm like…. Five minutes late? But I caught the subway so… that's good." Cosima giggles.

"I was marking exams all morning. I am looking forward to this."

"Me too… well not the marking. I finished two days ago." Cosima shrugs. "Just dissertation work. And there's never any end to that."

They're quickly shown to their table, and it's fancier than Cosima's norm. But they are celebrating after all.

"Thank you." Delphine smiles. Then she turns to the server. "There will be vegetarian options?"

"All vegetarian lunch for two." The server confirms. "It was on your reservation."

"Great." Cosima agrees pleasantly. She looks across the table at her stunning girlfriend, Delphine's hair is carefully coiffed into curls that fall just to her neck and she's dressed well. It makes Cosima eager to get to the rest of their celebration. But first, lunch.

They give few instructions, the special menu already prepared, but they order wine. Cosima thinks tea might have been better with the cold, but she certainly isn't going to deprive Delphine of good wine for her birthday. The server smiles pleasantly and walks away. It's not too busy for lunch, Cosima notes. Getting a dinner reservation would have been harder on short notice. But how was she supposed to know what Delphine wanted? They'd barely discussed this birthday. There had always been something else going on.

"So…?" Delphine prompts. Her smile is genuine and Cosima thinks that this will have to be enough, at least for Delphine's milestone birthday part one.

"Finally done for the year." Cosima smiles readily. The last month had been so busy she hadn't seen as much of Delphine as she would have liked. Sure they managed a date night once a week, but it wasn't really enough.

"I'm glad." Delphine sighs. "I am sorry I have not been available."

"Hey it's OK. You have work… Your grandfather is sick… and you've got stuff going on." Cosima tries to be comforting. "I'm just relieved you didn't have to fly off for a funeral."

Delphine shakes her head. "I don't want to talk about it today. I just want to enjoy today with you."

"In that case… Happy birthday Delphine." Cosima leans in for a kiss. Delphine easily returns it, and it's sweet and slow. Perfect.

Delphine breaks the kiss, a satisfied expression on her face. "I'm 30 now, same as you." Delphine smiles.

Cosima laughs. "Yep. For three months. Then you have to suffer through another one of my parties and meet all my friends."

"Please tell me you did not throw me a party." Delphine pleads softly.

"No. No party." Cosima promises. The late August giant BBQ with friends had not gone as well as she hoped. And while most of her friends had been welcoming, Delphine had been a bit shy. And she knows, they'll try again. Try to integrate those parts of her life. But a party full of Cosima's friends and acquaintances is not something Delphine would want. At least not now.

"Good… So what else did you plan?" Delphine asks, watching as the server pours them each a glass of red wine and sets the bottle on the table.

"Oh you'll see." Cosima teases. And truthfully, she hasn't done anything too out there. But she hopes that they'll manage a romantic day. And night…

"So I cannot get it out of you? Your surprise?" Delphine teases carefully.

"Nope. You have to get through lunch." Cosima is giddy. "One step at a time."

"Speaking of steps, I have something for you." Delphine reaches back into the pocket of her coat and produces a small black box.

"But it's your birthday." Cosima laughs at her. It isn't small enough to be a ring, and Cosima chides herself internally for even thinking it might be. Delphine isn't there. Cosima tells herself. They'd gone through that stuff months back, and Delphine wasn't thinking about marriage. And why should she?

"Open it." Delphine hands her the box, urging Cosima out of her thoughts.

Cosima opens it, nervously. She wants to think it's something it cannot possibly be. They haven't even been dating a year yet. She spies silver metal against cotton padding. The shape is familiar enough. It makes her giggle. "Keys?" Cosima looks up from the tiny box.

Delphine meets her eyes, looking delighted. "Oui. Keys to our condo."

"You're asking me to move in." Cosima reads it and cannot stop smiling. She was indeed sick of the bachelor after three years, and moving in with Delphine was a favourite fantasy of hers. And now… a reality.

"I am." Delphine smiles at her. "Do you… you still want to?"

"Yes." Cosima nods enthusiastically. "Like, I am ready to book movers, as soon as Christmas is over. Maybe before… like. Let's do this before we're back in the swing of things in January." She wonders if moving between Christmas and New Year's is entirely insane. Or even possible, but she knows she's going to try.

"We will have to go through your things." Delphine points out. "We cannot keep everything."

"We will. Totally. I want this. I so want this." Cosima assures her. "I have some things to get rid of for sure, but if we get a bigger bookcase we can minimize the amount of books we have to get rid of." And books they will have, so many damn books. Fiction. Non-fiction. She imagines as they age it will get worse. But they don't have to worry about that right now.

"And… this to me, this is a forever thing, Cosima." Delphine grips her hand, trying to express her sincerity. "I don't want to just live together… I will want more."

"Yeah?" Cosima prompts.

"On se marie." Delphine grins at her. "But not just yet." She needs more time. They both do, she guesses.

"Not just yet." Cosima agrees. They can do this. One step at a time. She can propose in a few months times once things feel settled. And once she's confident Delphine won't turn her down. Cosima wonders briefly what her parents will say then.

"We'll have to plan the wedding though. Maybe for the summer?" Delphine gets it out.

"Umm you mean, next summer? Like that soon?" Cosima finds herself lighting up at the thought, she imagines them getting married barefoot on a beach somewhere. Delphine in white, her in red. And it's perfect, so fucking perfect.

"Or 2020. We could wait another year. But we'll have to get my immediate family to fly here. And get your immediate family to fly here… it is going to take a lot of planning." Delphine trails off. "Unless you want to get married in California? Would you rather go home to marry?"

"We'll get to it." Cosima tilts her head. "We should see if we can do 2020. I think it'd be cool." She'll need a ring, Cosima thinks. And not a diamond, something more unique. A gemstone ring? Clearly… Delphine was ready. Not even six months later. She may never hear the end of it from certain friends, but having a wife would be worth it. Definitely.

"Of course we will." Delphine stops and then looks up. "And we'll… have children?"

"Yeah. Someday down the line." Cosima agrees. "But umm, I have a PhD to work on for the moment."

"It could take you a decade longer." Delphine points out. "We should… we should try to plan things out."

"Yeah but… we can discuss the particulars later." Cosima leans in, watching as their first course arrives at the table. Salads and what looks to be a handful of delicious, perfectly plated appetizers.

"Speaking of particulars… I think I found a solution." Delphine announces as she is digging into her salad.

"What do you mean a solution? Oooh this looks good…" Cosima takes a bite. "Oh god this is good. Try the bruschetta." Cosima is taking another decadent bite before Delphine continues.

"We'll do reciprocal IVF." Delphine announces, helping herself to a piece of bruschetta. "Oh c'est dé restaurant… it is lovely, Cosima. Thank you.."

"Umm what made you decide that?" Cosima asks, feeling amused that Delphie has clearly been doing research on assisted reproductive technologies. "Also what does it mean?"

"It means I will have your baby. IVF but with your eggs instead of mine. I was doing some research and learned that that is a possibility. One… that I think will work for us. Hypothetically speaking, in the future."

"Why my ova? If you want to carry - there's less intervention available. We can just use yours." Cosima shakes her head and moves to take another bite.

"We cannot use my ova." Delphine shakes her head. "I mean, we could, but it would ruin the other part of my plan. We just need to ask Louis. And then … well that should be the best we can hope for. Genetically speaking. And then…"

Cosima pauses, stopping eating. "What do you mean ask Louis?"

"Well… Louis is visiting this summer, I told you that. So… if we want to do this, we should start planning now if we want to freeze his sperm." Delphine doesn't even look embarrassed.

"You want your brother to ...fly here to masturbate into a cup?" Cosima makes a face. "Like… you want to make him our donor?" She drops the piece of bruschetta she is eating, suddenly her appetite is greatly reduced.

"Yes. Your ova. Louis's sperm. And my uterus." Delphine emphasizes her plan. "Reciprocal IVF. I told you."

"OK. I get the wanting to have my baby thing. I think." Cosima nods. "But your brother is visiting for three weeks. Right? Why now? Like, I am definitely sure kids are a few years away. At the earliest ." In fact, until about ten minutes ago, Cosima assumed it was at least five or six years away.

"I do not know when he will be back. If we get his semen frozen and stored, we can use it years from now if we want." Delphine shrugs. "So I will have to ask him. I will… next time I get him on Skype. I think… I think he will agree. He will understand why I am asking."

"And what if I want to carry?" Cosima shoots back. She might, she hasn't completely ruled it out for the future. Then again, who knows what would happen once they started down that path.

"We will likely have leftover embryos. Either of us could carry a second." Delphine assures her. "And… I think it is the right choice, for us, as a couple. When… when we start this. I am not saying we start now. I just… let's move in together. And… have things in place for later. My brother lives on another continent… we will have to take advantage of his proximity this summer."

"Right." Cosima nods. The idea of having a baby fathered by her girlfriend's brother who she has never met isn't the greatest idea she's ever heard. Delphine has clearly latched on to the idea. "I guess you're… pretty set on this plan of yours?"

"It is the most ideal option. The child… the child will likely look like both of us." Delphine reaffirms her commitment to her plan.

"But what if you want your own baby?" Cosima suggests.

"This would be my baby." Delphine is firm on that. "I'd carry them and give birth. You'd provide your ova. It's perfect."

"You are really attached to this plan." Cosima laughs, picking up another appetizer. Maybe, maybe this was a good thing. As long as Felix never found out.

"And you're… not?"

"Well… it just seems kind of weird. And a lot more intervention than we probably need. I mean, that's a ton of hormones you take for IVF."

"Yes. There are disadvantages." Delphine concedes. "But… I think the advantages outweigh them. But if you are not comfortable, we can look at other options."

"OK." Cosima nods, wondering what she should even say to this. "You haven't asked Louis yet, right?"

"Uhh.. not exactly." Delphine winces. "We study babies Cosima… it is bound to end up on our minds occasionally… even if we don't want them right now."

"Oh god…" Cosima begins to laugh. "OK birthday girl. Enough of the future. Let's think about the present."

"What is my present?" Delphine asks.

"You'll see." Cosima singsongs. This is too fun not to draw it out.

"You are such a brat." Delphine hisses under her breath, but she is smiling.

"Yes. Yes I am. And you love me." Cosima smiles back.

"Oui. Je t'aime. Je suis absolument folle de toi." Delphine looks at her, and her heart swells in her chest.

This is it. Cosima thinks. This is exactly what she wanted.

FIN