Harry Potter Mini Crack Fics

by slytherinlibrarymole

One chapter a day unless I'm doing apology chapters for not posting anything else. the title says it all. Very short chapters unless I go on a rant. T because I gave up on monitoring which words of the English language I do or do not use.

27. Chapter 27

Ok, Salazar was in no way sane. I'll admit it.

Gryffindor: Do what is right

Ravenclaw: Do what is wise/smart

Hufflepuff: Do what is kind

Slytherin: PUT A FUCKIN BASILISK IN THE CASTLE!

Never mind, I like my house's founder. So let me explain the sane reason why there was a basilisk. So back when Hogwarts was built, witch hunts were very much up and active, so they didn't want muggle witch hunters to find hogwarts. Because there is no way 11 year olds can do wandless flame freezing charm. Because wands are wood, they are nowhere near indestructible. So the basilisk was given standing orders to protect the school from muggles because a witch or wizard would know to look away, and they can be unpetrified, muggles don't have potions. And either way, I would not be surprised if people preferred to die by basilisk than by being burnt alive. Also a humongous snake that has passed killing muggles 101 with flying colors would and most likely did discourage muggle from attacking a school full of "vulnerable freaks". Gives the dursleys a whole new meaning doesn't it? And Salazar too. But mostly the Dursleys. They are most definitely on par with umbitch and mcmoronus fudge.