CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Time After Time

***LAST WEEK OF CAMP***

Camp Black Bear, Dunkirk, NY: Monday, August 13

Bright light swept through every inch of the tiny shack. Dave yawned and stretched like a cat basking in the sun. He blinked away the sleep from his eyes. He glanced down and saw the arm draped over him. He closed his eyes and placed his hand on top of the hand on his stomach. For the seventh day in a row, he felt rested and rejuvenated. Being in love had done wonders for his circadian rhythms. As it dawned on him what day it was he groaned inwardly. Today marked the beginning of the last week of camp. Leaving camp meant saying goodbye to an incredible cast of characters who had made his last summer as a boy truly magical and heading back home to start a new chapter.

Kurt stirred behind him. Dave rubbed his thumb over his hand. Kurt pulled Dave closer to him and nuzzled his face into his muscled back.

"You awake?"

"I've been up for a while now," Dave said.

Kurt moved his hand over the large mound hidden behind silk mesh. "Mm, I'll say."

"Be careful. Don't start anything you can't finish."

Kurt trailed his fingertips over Dave's length and said, "Oh, the very moment we are able to be together on something better than this disgusting couch where so many unspeakable acts of debauchery have taken place, I plan on us finishing. A lot."

"Why Kurt Hummel," Dave spoke in an exaggerated Southern belle accent, "I never knew you were so … filthy."

"What can I say? You bring it out of me. You turn me on in ways I can't describe. You make me want to do things I've only seen in movies."

Dave blushed furiously and was beyond grateful Kurt could not see his face. "Like what?"

"Like … kissing in the rain. Drunken makeouts in the back of a limo." Kurt's fingers closed in around his shaft. "Sex on the kitchen counter."

"Huh," Dave said. He tried to think of something witty to say but all he could think about was Kurt's warm hand gripping him through his sleep shorts. "I do all of that?"

"Yes," Kurt whispered into his ear. "And so much more." Dave chuckled. "What's funny?"

Dave sighed. "Some moments I can't believe how lucky I am. To have you. Not too bad for a chubby boy who sweats too much."

Kurt sat up suddenly. Dave maneuvered himself so that he was facing him. Kurt frowned.

"Dave, you have to know that when I said that I was just so angry at you and I never meant -."

Dave held his finger to Kurt's mouth and said, "Kurt – I was kidding. We both said and did things we didn't mean back then. Now things are different. A lot different."

Kurt's body appeared to relax a bit. He stared at Dave. His expression was unreadable. He then opened his mouth and drew Dave's finger into his mouth. Dave's eyes grew cartoonishly big as he watched the object of his desire swirl his tongue around the tip of his finger in a manner he could only describe as pornographic. Kurt drew his lips away from his finger with a wet pop that caused Dave to flex in his shorts.

"Seeing you with my finger in your mouth, a guy can't help but wonder what your mouth can do to other parts of my body."

Kurt flopped down behind him and resumed his role as the big spoon. "David Michael Karofsky, before all's said and done, I plan on knowing every inch of that hot body of yours quite intimately."

"Kurt," Dave said. "I swear you're the only person who could ever make me blush this hard."

"Well – I just think you oughta know just how insanely attracted I am to you," Kurt said. He reached up and tapped his finger against Dave's temple. "What about you? What's going on in that head of yours?"

Dave smirked. "Which one?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "The big one."

"Again, I ask, which one?"

"David – I will kick you off this couch."

"Fine," Dave said. "As far as what's going on in my head – I must say, 99% of my thoughts are about you. Sometimes I just think about how I want to hold you. I could literally do that all day. And there are other times where -."

"Where what?"

"It's … pretty graphic."

"Oooh, I love graphic. Tell me David."

Dave exhaled. "There are times where I think about us, in bed together …"

'Go on."

"And I'm fucking you … so hard. Into the mattress." Dave wanted to get up from where he was laying and hide in the corner. "I can't believe I just said that. Out loud."

"I think it's hot that you want to do those things to me. Although -." Kurt reached down and gripped him again. "I think I might want to get in some practice before we … go down that route."

Dave grinned at Kurt's less than subtle implication that when it came to *that* particular department, he had a certain curly-haired hobbit beat.

"When you practice, can I watch?" he asked.

"We'll see," Kurt said. "Perhaps if you're a good boy."

"Oh, I'm the best boy," Dave said. "Just you wait and see."

"Oh, I have no doubt. But … in all seriousness, I hope you don't mind that when it comes to that, I'm going to need some time."

Dave reached up and touched his hand to Kurt's cheek. He then leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Kurt, I'll wait as long as you need me to. There's no hurry or pressure on my part." Kurt leaned in and kissed him back. Dave's phone started to buzz and skitter across the dusty floor. The sweet, dulcet tones of "It's A Beautiful Morning" started to play, the volume increasing more and more the longer Dave ignored his phone. Dave pried himself from Kurt's mouth and reached behind him. He grabbed his phone and silenced the alarm. It was six-thirty. He was due to meet Pari at the Welcome Center at seven. He started to get up from the couch, but Kurt grabbed him by the bicep and pulled him back down.

"Kurt – we have to get up."

"I don't want to," Kurt whined as he held onto him.

"I know, babe, but if we don't folks are gonna start wondering where we are." Dave slipped himself from Kurt's embrace. He stood up and grabbed his T-shirt which was laying on the coffee table.

"I'm surprised no one's noticed." Kurt yawned and reached for his sneakers.

"Oh, I'm sure they've noticed," Dave said. "They're just being polite and not saying anything."

Kurt groaned. "It's going to be a long day; I just know it."

"What do you have to do?"

"Me, Teddy and Finn are supposed to ride into town to pick up some things for the Talent Showcase. Apparently the nearest craft store is over an hour away. I'm so not looking forward to being trapped in a car with that stepbrother of mine."

"Come on, Kurt – cut him some slack. Finn's been through a lot." Dave leaned over and tied his shoes.

"I get that," Kurt said. "It's just that the only reason I suggested he even come here is so he wouldn't spend the whole summer moping around the house driving Dad and Carole up the wall. Now he's moping around here and it's driving me up the wall." He slumped against the middle couch cushion. "I just hate seeing him so sad. I want to do something but nothing I seem to do or say does any good."

Dave knelt beside Kurt and placed his hand on top of his knee. "Your stepbrother fell in love, with a guy, and got his heartbroken, all in the span of a few weeks. It's gonna take some time for him to get over this. We just need to make sure we're being supportive. The last thing he needs is to feel like he's in this by himself."

"Agreed," Kurt said. He frowned. "Why do you always have to be the sensible one?"

"Well, one of us has to be," Dave grinned. He stood up and started towards the door. He looked over his shoulder and said, "Maybe what Finn needs is a nice distraction."

"What kind of distraction? A man?"

Dave shook his head. "I was thinking the Talent Showcase. Just keep him real busy with that and maybe he won't have a chance to sit around and think about Anders."

"You know, I get that Anders is going through a lot, too. I honestly don't know what I would do if I lost my dad. Or you. Or anyone close to me for that matter. But I wish he would just text Finn. At least let him know where things stand. I think that's what's bothering Finn so much. He left camp and it's been radio silence ever since."

"Well, I've never lost a parent or anyone particularly close to me so I'm going to give Anders the benefit of the doubt. Grief is unpredictable. Finn says that Anders and his dad didn't have the best of relationships so I can only imagine what he's going through right now. Anders is a genuinely nice guy. I reckon when he's ready to reach out, he will. Until that happens, we just need to keep Finn preoccupied." Dave pulled open the door. The weather outside of the shack was gorgeous – perfect for a hike. He held the door open for Kurt to walk through.

"You know, as open-minded as I'd like to think I am, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Finn Hudson likes … guys. I mean, this is the same guy who would get all weird just being in the same room with me and now he's pining over another guy. Like all this time, I thought he was like the definition of heterosexual male. I just want to know how long this has been going on, but I don't want him to feel like I'm interrogating him or worst, judging him."

Dave secured the padlock on the door and slipped the key around his neck. He turned to face Kurt. "Well, from what he described to me, this is something he's been dealing with recently – like within the last few years. It's not like you and me where we've sort of known what's up for a while now."

"I still can't believe he told you and not me. No offense."

"None taken. Maybe he just felt more comfortable telling me because he knew being attracted to guys was something I really struggled with."

Kurt rubbed his jaw. "Maybe. I just wish you would've told me then maybe I wouldn't have been so blindsided when he blurted it out to me, in the middle of the Welcome Center of all places."

"Well, it wasn't my information to share," Dave said. "All those times you could've outed me, and you never told anyone. The least I could do was do the same for Finn."

"You're right," Kurt said. "I'm glad he felt like he could tell you, though. You're a good man, David."

David wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's slender waist and drew him close to his body. "You're not so bad yourself." He leaned in and pecked him on the lips. "Come on. I really need to shower, and you've got a road trip to get ready for." Kurt groaned and Dave swatted him on the butt before taking off towards the dirt path leading back to camp. Kurt sighed and followed him.

"You've been disappearing a lot," Pari spoke. "Are you and Kurt like boning?"

Dave coughed and spat out the cold water he had just drank. Water dribbled from his chin and onto the front of his Camp Black Bear T-shirt. Pari threw her head back and cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West. Dave reached for a napkin and dabbed at his face and chest. He looked around them. The ten campers they had just led through the woods and to a small clearing with smooth rocks for them to sit and rest on were seated several feet away and appeared to be too caught up in their own conversations to hear what Pari just said.

"You're blushing, Davy Bear. I'm going to take that as a yes."

Dave fastened the lid onto his water bottle. "Not that it's any of your business but no, Kurt and I aren't doing that."

Pari's brow raised. "Huh. Well, I can honestly say that I'm shocked. I mean it's been what? A month? Over a month? I figured the two of you would be going at it like rabbits."

"You do realize there are other ways for two people who have mutual feelings for each other to express those feelings without sex being involved?"

"I know but those other ways usually aren't as fun," Pari said. She plucked a baby carrot from a small Ziploc baggy and popped it into her mouth. "Seriously though, seeing the two of you together has had me all in my feelings as of late."

"What do you mean?"

Pari sighed. "It's just that when I see you and Kurt looking so happy together, it reminds me of how happy me and Mel were before I had to go and fuck things up."

Dave leaned back against the large rock jutting out of the ground behind him and folded his arms over his chest. Since their meeting back in June, anytime Mel was brought up in conversation, Dave noticed how uncomfortable Pari would get. He also noticed that any time someone brought up them dating, Pari would get really cagy about it. Putting two and two together, Dave deduced that infidelity had played a major role in why the two of them had broken up. Hearing Pari not only reference the relationship but admit to being the reason why things had gone south honestly shocked Dave. Maybe the wall that Pari kept around her at all times was finally starting to come down.

"Are you thinking about getting back with her?"

"If I could, believe me I would but she doesn't seem keen on us picking up where we left off. Can't say that I blame her. I did the one thing she asked me not to do. I thought that if I told her, it would make things better, but it only made things worse."

"When's the last time you talked to her?" Dave asked.

Pari shrugged. "It's been a minute. Somehow we manage to avoid each other without making things awkward for everyone around us." Pari used her finger to draw circles in the dirt beside her. "Sometimes I wonder if maybe things would have been better if I never told her. When Paige and I hooked up, we knew immediately it was a mistake and we knew that it could never happened again. I could've just gone back to Mel and maybe we would still be together right now."

"Maybe," Dave said. "But maybe the guilt would've taken such a toll on you that you would have ended up telling Mel anyway. Only this time it wouldn't be just the cheating you were admitting to. It would also be the fact that you kept it from her."

"So, basically what you're saying is that no matter what I did, Mel still would've ended up getting hurt. Gee, Dave – you're such a ray of sunshine."

Dave scooted forward and placed his hand on her knee. "Look, Pari – I'm not trying to be a downer here. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think you did the right thing telling her. Yeah, it ended up hurting Mel and ultimately your relationship, but the alternative would have meant that things could have been much worst.

"You know, it's been a year. Maybe you should take her aside and talk to her. Who knows? Maybe you still have a shot with her."

Pari looked up and found his gaze. "And what if she says no way and tells me to fuck off?"

David grinned. "First off, that doesn't sound like something our sweet Mel would ever say." The smile faded from his face. "But you're right. There is a chance she may not want to go down that road again."

Pari bowed her head. "I don't think I can handle another rejection, Dave. Maybe I should just cut my losses and move on."

"You could do that. But I'd like to point out that this is your last summer at Camp Black Bear. Yeah, you may decide to come back next summer but chances are this will be the last time any of us are together. Who knows, you and Mel might never see each other after we leave here. The question is, do you want to go the rest of your life not knowing if there was a chance the two of you could be together again?"

Pari slowly lifted her head. She looked over at Dave. He saw the beginnings of a smile forming on her lips. "You know something? Of all the people I've met this summer, I think I'm going to miss you most of all."

"Hey now. We still have a week so don't go getting all mushy on me, Bhandari."

Pari picked up a small rock and lobbed it at him. Dave leaned to the side and dodged it with ease. "You know, I take back everything I said. You're so annoying, Dave. You're like an annoying little brother."

Dave grinned. "I'm pretty sure I'm older than you."

"Yeah, but only by a couple of weeks." Pari sighed. "Promise to me that you'll come and visit me in Texas?"

Dave reached up and rubbed his jaw. "Hm, that's really far away …"

Pari reached for a larger rock and held it up in her hand. She shot him an evil look as she started to rear back and throw it at him.

Dave held both his hands up and said, "Fine, fine – I'll come visit."

Pari lowered the rock and said, "Good answer." She glanced down at the silver wristwatch on her left arm. "We better start heading back. I've got swimming at three."

Dave stood up and stretched. While Pari rounded up the campers so they could begin their trek back to camp, Dave took his phone out to see if he had any messages. He saw that he had a text from Kurt and immediately opened his messaging app to see what Kurt had sent him.

Kurt: "We stopped and ate in some place called Versailles which sounds way fancier than it really is but is still really nice. On our way back! See you soon! xoxo."

Alongside the text from Kurt was a photo. Dave clicked on it to enlarge it. Kurt and Teddy stood on either side of Finn who looked to be the one holding the camera to take their selfie. All three of them, especially Finn, were grinning from ear to ear. Judging by the photo it seemed liked Finn was having a good time. He hoped that Anders would get in touch with Finn soon. He of all people knew how maddening it could be to go about your day wondering if the person you cared about felt the same way.

"You ready?" Pari asked appearing at his side. Dave slipped his phone back inside his pocket and said, "Yeah. Back to camp everyone!" He and Pari walked a few steps ahead of their campers. As they left the small clearing, Dave threw his arm over Pari's shoulder and pulled her to his side. They walked side by side, her head leaned against his shoulder, back to camp. Though he would never admit it, especially to her, Dave was going to miss her.

Dave blew the whistle hanging around his neck and beckoned for his campers to join him where he stood on the sideline. He told them to get showered and ready for dinner. He then went over to collect the soccer ball still sitting out on the field. As he walked back to his cabin, he paused near an empty bench and placed his hand on his lower back. His muscles ached from the hike earlier and from nearly two and a half hours of running back and forth on the field. He hoped standing under hot water would help. If not, he could always ask Kurt for a rubdown later.

He looked up and saw Zack D'Agostino walking towards him. Dave saw that his sandy blond hair was pulled into a top knot. He wore a sky-blue T-shirt with the name of his high school written across the front in bold, red letters. The color complimented his skin which had gotten golden brown over the last several weeks. Zack walked with an effortless confidence. There was a part of Dave that envied him. Maybe if he had been more confident and fearless, he could have come out earlier and maybe he could have avoided a lifetime of hurt and pain. There was another part of him that was happy someone like Zack could be out and be on the football team and be lauded for his athleticism without being maligned or pigeonholed because of his sexuality.

"Just the man I wanted to see." Zack wore the biggest grin on his face. It occurred to Dave, in that moment, that in the entire time of knowing Zack and getting to know him, this was the first time he had seen the kid smile. Zack had the whitest teeth and dimples on both his cheeks. Dave figured that with a smile like that, it would only be a matter of time before Zack started breaking hearts.

"What's up?" Dave asked as he sat down on the bench. Zack plopped down beside him.

"I just got off the phone with my dad," he said. "He and my mom divorced a few years ago so I really don't get to see him that often. Anyway, we haven't really talked all summer but today we finally did, and it was literally one of the best conversations we've ever had."

"That's great, Zack." Dave leaned over and patted him on the back. "If you don't mind me asking, what about this conversation with your dad made it one of the best conversations you've ever had?"

"We talked about Patrick." The smile faded from Zack's face. He quickly looked down at his feet. "Patrick is .. was my older brother. He died when I was twelve. Hanged himself. I-I was the one who found him. It really messed me up for a while. I had to go to therapy and then my parents split up a few years later. It was … a lot."

Dave closed his eyes and thought about the small closet in his old bedroom at his home back in Lima. He thought about the brown leather belt, cracked and frayed from too much use that somehow managed to support his weight as he was suspended from the metal rod, waiting for the life to drain out of him. Somehow, thankfully, he was still here, given a second chance at life. A second chance at love.

Patrick D'Agostino had not been so fortunate.

"I worshipped my brother. He was everything I wanted to be. Extremely smart. Athletic. Liked by pretty much everyone around him. I used to think his life was perfect. Other people had bad days but not my brother. I didn't notice – none of us noticed how much pain he was in. My dad read his journal. That's how we found out that he was depressed. We had no clue. I was twelve. All I saw was my perfect older brother. I couldn't see that he was literally dying inside."

Dave opened his eyes. He looked over and saw that Zack was leaned forward, his elbows on top of his thighs. His chin was cradled in his hands. His face looked pained. Dave knew that look all too well. Sometimes he would see the same look flicker over his dad's face before immediately being replaced with an almost robotic smile.

"I remember one particular day waking up and just feeling this overwhelming anger. At this point my dad had moved out and moved in with my grandparents. I was supposed to start my freshman year at the same high school Patrick went to but at the last minute my mom enrolled me in a high school on the other side of town. It was then I realized that it was Patrick I was mad at. My brother was dead, and he was making my life miserable." Zack turned to look at Dave. "Isn't that a fucked-up thing to think about your own brother?"

Dave opened his mouth to respond but could think of nothing to say. He did not have an older brother. He did not have any siblings. He would never know what it felt like to have that sibling bond. He would never know what it would feel like to have that bond severed.

"I think that's why I reacted the way I did to Nolan," Zack continued. "I remember we were down at the lake one afternoon and someone was talking about being bullied at school. Nolan piped up and told everyone that he was bullied, too, and that he had tried to kill himself. I dunno – hearing that made me think about my brother and I think all the anger I felt towards Patrick I directed towards Nolan … who didn't deserve it.

"Thank god you stepped in when you did, Dave." Zack grinned. "I've never had anyone call me out like you did."

"Well, I hope I wasn't too harsh."

"Oh, you were brutal." Zack chuckled. "But I deserved it. I was an asshole."

"Now don't be too hard on yourself," Dave said. "I think I saw a little bit of myself in you and it sort of stirred up some memories for me as well. I pretty much terrorized a lot of people at my old high school, and no one really checked me on it. It took having my life nearly destroyed for me to realize just how much damage I caused. Luckily, there are forgiving people in this world."

"Like Nolan," Zack said. "After you set me straight, I immediately went to him and apologized. He forgave me, just like that. I don't know if I would have been as forgiving if someone had treated me the way I treated him. And after that, we started hanging out and I started to realize that everything I assumed about him, about my brother, was wrong. I realized that all the anger I had towards Patrick was because of what he did and how it affected me and my parents. I thought he was weak for killing himself and I was so determined to not be like him. Nolan helped me to realize that my brother wasn't weak and that being depressed is not a sign of weakness." Zack slumped back against the back of the bench. He looked up at the sky and exhaled. "It's like this 500-pound weight has been lifted off me."

Dave smiled. "Believe it or not, I know exactly what that feels like."

"And I have you to thank for that."

Dave's eyes widened. "Me? All I basically did was tell you to stop being such a dick."

"If it hadn't been for you, who knows, maybe I would've continued to alienate Nolan and maybe I would still be carrying all of that anger around with me." Zack turned so that he was facing Dave. "Have you heard of the Campfire Rule?"

Dave shook his head. "No – I don't believe I have."

"It's something my coach talks about a lot," Zack said. "It's basically the philosophy of leaving something better off than how you found it. In my case, I feel like the person who first came to camp is definitely a lot different than the person who'll be leaving here at the end of the week. I'd like to think you played a big part in that, Dave. Thank you."

Dave swallowed down the lump in his throat. "You're welcome." Zack leaned over and patted Dave on the back. He then stood up and stretched his limbs. He looked down at Dave. "Sorry to run off but I told Nolan I'd eat dinner with him. Then we're supposed to practice afterwards."

"Practice?" Dave asked.

"Oh – I meant to tell you. Nolan finally convinced me to perform in the Talent Showcase. We're supposed to be singing a song together. I'm not the best singer so I guess we'll see how that goes in a few days."

"I'm sure you'll do great."

"Thanks, Dave. I'll see you at dinner."

Dave watched as Zack ran off towards his cabin. He slumped back against the bench and let out a long, deep sigh. Never in his life had he been so physically and emotionally spent. He had come to Camp Black Bear to prove to himself and others that he was a good person who could do good in the world. Not only had he proven the latter, Dave was quite sure that when he and Kurt and Finn and Santana headed back home at the end of the week, the Dave that would be going home to Lima would be a better person that the Dave who had left there a few of months ago.