The withdrawals were terrible.

Sakura's whole body ached. She couldn't get comfortable. Her insides were too hot, but her outsides were cold to the touch. Itachi forced her to stay wrapped up in sweats and a blanket, to break her fever, but no matter how many layers he wrapped her in, Sakura's skin was chilled.

"Sorry you have to take care of me," Sakura said.

"It's fine." Itachi dabbed at her skin with a wet towel.

"Are you still going to think I'm cute after seeing me like this?" she asked.

"It'll be hard, but I'll try."

"You're so kind." Sakura laughed, but the movement made her nauseous. She was constantly on the verge of vomiting everywhere. Just sitting up was a challenge.

"Try to sleep," Itachi said. He laid her down into the soft sheets, and Sakura tried very hard not to be sick all over him. No matter what he said, Sakura was sure Itachi wouldn't like her if she threw up on him.

The bed was soft and clean and smelled like Itachi. Sakura snuggled down into the pillows, breathing him in.

Konan was able to get Sakura two whole weeks of medical leave, much to Kakuzu's disdain. During this time, Sakura was staying at Itachi's house, under his care. It was weird being in the Uchiha compound all day. Usually, the couple spent most their time at Sakura's apartment. Even though it was smaller, her home felt more lived in. It was comfortable. Itachi's home was too big, too empty and too lonely.

She mostly kept to his room, since she was practically bedridden anyway. Itachi left to work at night, and came home early in the morning. Sakura hardly noticed the times he was gone. She spent so much time sleeping off her sickness.

"It'd be easier to sleep if you joined me," Sakura said. She scooted to make room for him.

Itachi didn't join her. He said, "I'm not really tired."

"Liar. I haven't seen you sleep at all since I got here." She'd been here a week so far, and had yet to see Itachi relax."

"I sleep," he insisted.

"When?"

"When you're sleeping."

Sakura frowned. "Do you sleep in one of the spare rooms?"

Itachi looked away from her. "Yes."

Well that felt even worse than her drug withdrawals. Sleeping together was the highlight of their relationship. Cuddled up together, relaxing in bed, just sharing the same space built a strong connection between them. Sakura loved it. Itachi did too. So why was he sleeping somewhere else?

"You do know my sickness isn't contagious," Sakura said.

"I know. I'm not an idiot," he said.

That tone set Sakura off. She was in no mood to play games.

"Is there a problem here? Because if there is, I can't fix it if you don't tell me," she snapped at him.

"You're sick. You need to relax."

"You need to be honest with me," she argued.

"I am honest," he said.

"Honesty by omission doesn't count," Sakura said, because that was Itachi's whole deal. He was honest, she couldn't deny that, but extremely reserved.

"You're recovering. You should be resting," Itachi insisted. "I don't want to upset you."

"Don't worry. I'm already upset. So just go for it." She was being extra bratty, knowing full well it would set off Itachi's nerves. He hated when she was childish, and Sakura used that to her advantage.

The relationship between Sakura and Itachi was a peaceful one. They worked well together and compromised. He was patient when she was stubborn. She was warm when he was cold. Itachi could read her like a book. He anticipated her needs and catered to them. To the outside world, Itachi was quiet and dark and scary, but to those he loved he was the most giving and kind. He was especially loving towards Sakura because she filled that deep, lonely pit in his heart. The regrets, the shame, the terrors he carried were lighter when Sakura was around. So yes, their relationship worked well.

But they never fought. Ever. There was something very off putting about it. Sakura and Itachi would argue, and debate, and snip at each other but, when it came down to it, they never actually fought over something serious. Instead, Itachi would turn away and bottle up his feelings. Sakura would feel guilty for rocking the boat and brush off whatever bothered her.

It was like a pot of water, slowly boiling over. This time, Sakura wasn't going to turn down the heat.

"Let me guess. You're upset that I got captured again?" she asked.

"It's not your fault you were kidnapped." He was cutting her some slack. Hoping she would back out of this argument.

"Are you mad that you weren't there to protect me? You didn't think I could save myself?"

"I already made it clear that I believe in your strength." Itachi's eyes narrowed on her.

"Is it because I won't leave Akatsuki?" Sakura guessed.

Itachi didn't answer. She hit the nail on the head.

"I already told you I won't leave," she said.

"But you should. It's a mistake," he said.

"Why can't you support my decision? It's my life. This is who I am."

"No it's not. This is not who you are. You are not Akatsuki." There was a ferociousness in his voice that would've scared anyone else, but only made Sakura sad. He never used that tone with her. That fierceness was reserved for enemies, and Sakura was not one.

Part of her wanted to cry, but a larger part was outraged. Sakura was nothing if not temperamental.

"I've proven myself time and time again. I belong on this team." She matched his fierceness with her own.

"You don't understand-"

"Then explain it to me," she snapped at him like a rapid dog.

"You've changed so much from who you used to be. You're not yourself, and you haven't been for a long time," Itachi explained.

"You can't tell me who I am. I decide for myself who I am," Sakura said, because how dare he. How dare anyone try to tell Sakura who she was.

"Are you a killer?"

The shock was so great, Sakura couldn't think of anything to say.

Itachi stood, looming over her like a dark shadow. With Sakura, Itachi was loving and soft and romantic. That was just one side of the story. This was the other side. His cold stare, his quiet calm, everything about him gave off the chill of death. It was like looking at him for the first time, and Sakura understood this version of Itachi was the one that killed.

"You used to say the one thing you would never do was kill, but now you have." His whisper was like death in her ears.

Sakura turned away. "Stop it."

"Killing changes you. It makes you into something else."

"I swear, if you don't cut it out-"

Itachi leaned down. For once, his presence was not a comfort. Sakura had to mentally force herself not to flinch as he came close. Chills raced across her skin when his breath touched her.

"Do you even regret what you did?"

"Stop it!" Sakura screamed.

A lot of things happened at once.

Out of defense or anger, who knows exactly why, Sakura swung out at Itachi. There was power behind that punch, a promise to hurt him. That alone was shocking. Hurting him was not something Sakura had ever done, or even thought of. But then, she never thought he would talk to her like that either.

Itachi would've let Sakura hit him too. With all his skill and experience, he could've easily sidestepped her punch, but he didn't. He watched her fist come close, and waited.

Sakura's hit never landed though. Another person stormed into the room.

It took a second to realize this person was Sasuke. He swept into Itachi's bedroom in complete silence, quiet as the wind. Sasuke pushed Itachi up against the wall, away from Sakura, pinning his older brother with an arm across Itachi's chest.

Sasuke's eyes were red. So were Itachi's. They stared at each other, tense, hardly breathing. Itachi was surprised. Sakura was too. Very few people could catch Itachi Uchiha unexpected.

"She told you to stop," Sasuke practically hissed out the words.

Itachi glared fire down at his little brother. "What's between us doesn't concern you."

"It does if you're hurting my friend."

"I would never hurt her," Itachi said.

Sasuke scoffed, "Her face says otherwise."

Sakura was crying. She didn't even realize it until they looked at her. Ugly, fat tears covered her face. She quickly turned away, wiping her cheeks on the bedsheets. She lied, "I'm fine, really. Sasuke, please let him go. It's ok."

Sasuke shot a lasting glare at his brother, then stepped away. When the brothers turned back to Sakura, their eyes were black again. The blood red was gone.

Itachi walked out of the room, still cold as ice. All he said to her was, "I'll give you some time alone."

Then Sakura was left with Sasuke, who was probably the worst at comforting other people. Sasuke's version of comforting others was to grab the tissue box off Itachi's bookcase and toss it onto Sakura's lap. He kept his distance while she cleaned herself up, looking out the window as if she wasn't having a meltdown in front of him.

When Sakura was a little calmer, Sasuke asked, "Did he hurt you?"

"Of course not. If anything, I almost hurt him." She sniffled.

"I'm sure he deserved it," Sasuke sneered.

Sakura gave him a strange look. The relationship between Sasuke and Itachi was a mystery. From Itachi's end, Sakura knew he cared for Sasuke above everyone else, even her. He loved Sasuke and took care of him. Sasuke's feelings were more complicated. For the most part, Sasuke was calm and civil with Itachi. It was clear Sasuke made some effort to keep Itachi in his life. But then things like this would happen, where Sasuke seemed on the verge of hating his brother.

Of course, Sakura constantly thought about Sasuke's plan to kill Itachi in order to protect Naruto. That was another complication she couldn't understand, and didn't like to think about.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"This is my house too. It's our family home." Sasuke looked at her like she was an idiot.

Sakura mirrored the look back at him. "Yeah, but you never come here."

"I heard Itachi was nursing you back to health," Sasuke replied.

Sakura smirked and asked, "Did you come to visit me?"

"I only wanted to make sure you were alive." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I wasn't worried or anything."

"Right." Sakura's smirk softened to a smile.

"Have you eaten yet?" he asked.

"Not really." Keeping anything down was difficult. The medications mixed up in her system made Sakura nauseous. Mostly she drank tea.

"I'm meeting Naruto for dinner. You're coming," Sasuke said, because he was not the type of person who asked for things. He demanded them.

"What are we eating?" Sakura asked.

"Do you have to ask? Naruto only eats one thing," Sasuke scoffed.

"I'm too weak to walk," she argued.

He came to her bedside and held out a hand. "You're anything but weak."

Together, they managed to get Sakura into shoes and a thick jacket. She was sweaty, gross and completely exhausted, but Sasuke encouraged her in his subtle way. He waited patiently for her to catch her breath. He held the front door open for her, and the front gate. After two blocks, she struggled to walk straight. Sasuke held out his arm for her to hold, keeping a slow pace so she wouldn't fall.

"Are you going to ask why I'm so broken?" Sakura's voice came out in huffs.

"Will you survive?" He replied to her question with a question.

"I will."

"Did Itachi do this to you?"

"Of course not!"

Sasuke shrugged. "Then I don't need to know."

Sakura rolled her eyes. Sasuke was an exasperating friend. He cared about her but made no effort to know the facts about her life. Sasuke accepted Sakura as she was, and she appreciated that. The details didn't matter. He would not judge her. She was his friend.

"You could try to be a little interested in my life," Sakura nagged. She had to bug him a little bit. Sasuke could be such a shit.

"If you want someone to baby you, then ask him." Sasuke pointed ahead.

Naruto ran up the road at full speed. An orange fireball spinning up the street. He came to a hard stop in front of them, his face an utter mess of worry.

"Sakura what happened to you?" Naruto gasped.

"It looks worse than it is." Sakura blushed.

"Who did this to you? I'll kill them. I swear I will," he promised, and she actually believed him. There was a fire in his eyes, burning hot and angry. She'd never seen him like this. In that moment, Sakura believed Naruto would destroy anyone and everyone who dared hurt her. The protective waves rolling off him were practically animalistic.

"I got into an accident at my internship. Mixed up the wrong meds," Sakura explained.

Naruto faltered. The gears were turning in his head, but he wasn't smart enough to catch her in a lie. He did ask, "But what about your hands? And your arms? And those bruises?"

"I was grabbed on the way home. But I took care of them," she lied. Sakura flexed her arms and gave a smug smile, to prove she was ok, but the movement instantly made her dizzy. If Sasuke wasn't holding her up, she would've fallen straight to the ground.

"You're amazing Sakura." Naruto's energy softened.

He wasn't angry over her injuries anymore, but he wasn't calm either. For the rest of the walk, Naruto kept glancing at her with a deep worry. He kept close to her, hovering at Sakura's side like a protective dog.

The ramen place was a small hole in the wall. The inside was cramped, dirty and smelt absolutely delicious. Sasuke helped Sakura sit and took a chair on her right side, Naruto coming in on her left. Sakura laughed. They crowded her like body guards.

When the food came, Naurto asked, "Do you need help eating, Sakura?"

"I think I'll just sip the broth," she said. Anything more than that would make her sick.

Sakura stubbornly tried to eat by herself, but her broken fingers knocked the spoon around.

"I'll help you," Naruto offered eagerly. He practically bounced in his seat.

"You'll just spill it all over her, idiot," Sasuke sneered.

Without another word, Sasuke dragged Sakura's bowl closer and lifted the spoon for her. Sakura blushed and let him feed her, laughing when Naruto whined. For a while, everything felt good. Sakura forgot about her aching body and her nauseous stomach. She was happy.

But then she looked up at Sasuke, and he just looked so much like Itachi.

Sasuke frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answered.

Sasuke put down the spoon. "You're crying again."

Sakura wiped at her face and turned away. This was a happy time with her friends. Why was she crying? Why couldn't she just enjoy this moment?

Naruto held her shoulder. He directed her to look at him and, with a seriousness she didn't know he was capable of, Naruto said, "Tell me what's wrong. I'll fix it."

A fresh wave of tears burst out unbidden. Sakura crumpled in on herself. "It's Itachi."

"What did he do?" Sasuke demanded to know. There was a dangerousness in his voice that was only rivaled by the look in Naruto's eyes.

"He thinks I'm a different person, and maybe he's right. I'm not the same as I was before," Sakura explained. "I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Why does he think you're different?" Naruto asked.

"I've done things I never thought I would do. Things I promised myself I wouldn't do. I don't even regret it, but maybe I should?" Sakura posed the question to the universe.

She was very confused. Logically, she should feel guilty. She killed a man. It was a line Sakura swore she would never cross. In her heart, though, she didn't regret it at all. She wasn't ashamed. She actually felt good. Killing the Six Tails made her feel strong, capable and powerful. Was it ok to feel that way because the Six Tails hurt her so much? A year ago, Sakura would've felt terrible about the whole thing. Today, Sakura felt good about it.

"Listen to me." Naruto squeezed her shoulder, bringing her to focus in. "Don't regret anything. Ever. Everything you do makes you who you are. You grow from your experiences."

"But I don't want to become a different person. I'm not trying to be anyone but myself," Sakura insisted.

"Your experiences change you. You grow. You get hurt. You're different," Sasuke explained. Then he shrugged in that way he did when the conversation was boring him. "It's not a bad thing. Everyone changes all the time."

"Not Sasuke though. Sasuke will always be a bastard," Naruto said.

"And Naruto will always be an idiot," Sasuke said.

"And Sakura will always be Sakura." Naruto grinned.

Sasuke nodded in agreement. "Even when you change, you're still you."

"Stop trying to sound wise. You're giving me a headache," Sakura said.

Naruto and Sasuke went back to eating, but Sakura sat and contemplated their words.

All her experiences and pain grew Sakura into a new person. Even if she was different, she was still herself. Humans were weird in that way. Sakura was constantly growing and learning and changing, but she was always going to be herself. She understood that. Maybe she could make Itachi understand that too?

After dinner, Naruto said his goodbyes. He hugged Sakura and fawned over her like an overbearing mother. It was weird seeing this overprotective side of him. After ten minutes of fussing over her, Naruto reluctantly went on his way, making Sakura promise to call him every day until she was well again.

Sasuke walked Sakura back to the Uchiha house. She held onto his arm and leaned into him. He kept a slow pace.

She said, "I've never seen Naruto like that."

"His strength comes from protecting others. Especially those closest to him," Sasuke explained, and Sakura understood they weren't just talking about Naruto's personality. They were talking about him as a Jinchuriki.

"It's hard for me to think of him like that. All the Jinchuriki I've met were evil. Naruto's the exact opposite of evil," Sakura said.

"The Jinchuriki aren't evil. They're powerful. Naruto's power comes from helping others."

"He must be very strong then," Sakura huffed.

Sasuke stopped so Sakura could rest. The sun set over the trees. The road was quiet save for Sakura's heavy breathing. This little dinner adventure was the most exercise she had in a week. It was exhausting for her broken body.

Sasuke watched her and said, "Seeing you like this really worried Naruto."

Sakura looked up at him, and saw the deep frown on his face. She smiled and said, "Looks like he's not the only one worried."

"Don't be stupid. Let's go," Sasuke scoffed and grabbed her arm. He lifted her to stand and hurried her along, pretending not to care. Sakura almost believed him too, if it wasn't for the embarrassed blush.

They got back to the house just as the sun went down. Sasuke helped her up the front steps, then dropped her hand from his arm.

"You're not coming in?" she asked.

"I hate this place at night," he said. Sasuke wouldn't even look at the house in the moonlight.

"Thank you for helping me."

Sasuke wasn't an emotional person. He was bad with words and even worse with affection. Despite all that, he still reached out and took Sakura's hand. The motion was so shocking, Sakura froze. Holding her attention, Sasuke told her, "Promise you'll call me if you need help."

"I swear I'm fine. I can take care of myself," Sakura said.

"Promise me." Sasuke tugged her hand like a stubborn child.

"You're just as bad as Naruto." Sakura smiled. "I promise."

Satisfied, Sasuke released her. He left without a goodbye. Sakura watched him walk back down the hill, into the darkness. Then she struggled inside, heading to Itachi's room where she could properly pass out.

Sleep would have to wait though. Itachi was sitting on the bed.

"You came back," he said.

"You sound surprised." Sakura walked around him, refusing his help when he offered a hand, and slumped into bed next to him.

"I have to tell you something," Itachi said.

"I also have something to tell you." Sakura planned to tell him exactly what Naruto and Sasuke made her realize. Just because she was growing as a person did not mean she was different. Sakura was still herself, and Itachi had to believe that. She would make him believe it.

She had a whole speech planned out in her head, with emotional allegories and heartfelt realizations. She even planned to copy Sasuke's serious attitude and Naruto's hopeful expressions.

Before she could utter a word though, Itachi dropped the bomb on her.

Without hesitation, Itachi said, "I killed my parents. I'm the reason they're dead."

(End)

I had a disappointing date tonight.

I think something is wrong with me. When a person tries to flirt with me, it has the opposite effect.

The more a person compliments my looks, the less I like them. I just feel so awkward when someone is flirty with me. Flirting feels so fake. It feels like a line they've said to a million people. It makes me suspicious of them.

I just wish dates would treat me more like a friend. Like, yes I want to do romantic things with you, but please just talk to me as if I was your friend, instead of saying compliments that feel cheap. What am I even supposed to say when someone flirts with me? Thank you? It's so awkward.

I jut want someone who can talk to me like I'm a person. I think that's pretty reasonable?