Chapter 27
"Hey Sabrina, can I have word with you and Agatha and your creepy future mother-in-law?" Nick said to her during one afternoon in the Academy and during lunch break the four had gathered in the forest to talk, Dorcas and Prudence were also there to accompany Agatha since they too had a good guess as to what this was all about.
"What is it? Is there something wrong, something horrible?" Sabrina asked with dread.
"Please say yes." Wednesday invited, with a raised eyebrow.
"Kind of, it's the guys. You know farmboy, farmboy junior and farmboy senior...they...well..."
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Flashback xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nick was in Dorian's, when the doors opened and trough them came black eyes, exhausted to a point that they seemed half dead and green in the face, men of the Kinkle-Addams line. Namely Tommy, Harvey and Lucas.
"Another batch of pepper up potion. Extra strong variety." Lucas said trough yawns.
"Again? This is the 5th time in two weeks I give you weekly doses. Not that I mind the business, but at this rate I will have to cut you all off less you all OD on me and give me a bad credit score as a supplier." Dorian said as he refused to provide his services, making the 3 men all groan as they sat down on the stools and where close to falling asleep there and then.
"Allright, spill. I'm trying out to be a good man, so I guess this is one of those moments." Nick said in annoyance.
"It's my wife."
"It's Sabrina."
"It's Aggy."
They all said at the same time.
"Ah, let me guess, they are all nagging you to death? Making your life's a living hell? Subjecting you to misery? I thought you all got off on that." Nick said with sarcasm in his voice.
"We do...but...well...they all have this crazy idea that they have to prove to us that they love us most of all...and...they are all going overboard about it!" Tommy said in lament.
"Yeah, I mean they keep popping up with huge amounts of breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sabrina makes me so much of my favorite dish that half of it I puke in the toilet, when she's not paying attention and she keeps buying so many copies of the stuff I like that my room is like a warehouse now. Never thought I'd be tired of comics and get sick at the sight of my favorite food." Harvey said.
"Same with Aggy, and the attempts to gut me, stab me, poison me are all going through the roof, day in and day out.1 like a bit of passion as the next man, but I need a break during the day!" Tommy added.
"At least you boys have the night to rest. Wednesday won't give me a moment's rest, be it at home or at the hospital. She just pops out of nowhere whenever I have free time and just won't stop! Sex in and out till I can barely walk. I once tried to make her calm down by telling her I'm dirty and stinky since I haven't showered yet and she replied with 'When I am eating my prey, the more it struggles, the more I want to devour it." Lucas added.
"I'd comment on you traumatizing us, but I am too tired to be outraged." Harvey added and Tommy nodded as then the 3 Kinkle men all plowed forward, their heads hitting the counter and they all started snoring.
"Oh you poor fellows, having problems that the every other man on Earth wished they had." Nick said in sarcasm before he left to go and talk to the witches in their lives.
Dorian then returned to the bar and saw the collapsed men.
"This is no way to behave in a high class establishment like this!" Dorian said in outrage, he then went and took each of the 3 men's hands and wrapped them around a whisky bottle, beer pint and scotch glass each.
"That's better!" Dorian said cheerfully, pleased that his bar now had its proper image restored.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"So you guys should tone it down a little. Cause from the way they all look and move I am pretty sure that someone is gonna call the cops on you all for what looks like to be spousal abuse." Nick said to them.
"We can't do that! If we don't prove to them that we love them then they'll leave us, once they realize the flaw in their love for us!" Sabrina said in despair.
Nick was silent for a moment at that and made a face of confusion.
"Okay, you lost me. Explain to me why you are acting like this!"
After Nick was told of the truth in regards to Heaven's plan to breed perfect mortal husbands for the witches he looked at them with confusion and disappointment in their eyes.
He wanted to argue that they were all crazy for thinking that men that where literally indoctrinated to love witches would leave said witches, but Nick still had some measure of survival instinct's inside of him and was not crazy enough to say a bad thing towards these unstable love struck hens.
"Okay, why don't we take a peak in the future then! Once you'll see that the 3 Caballeros are gonna stay and annoy you for the rest of their natural lives maybe you'll all stop. Otherwise we'll have 3 obituaries that read 'Death by Snu-Snu' in town!" Nick said to them and then they all made their ways to the pumpkin patch to get Malum Malus apples, which they enhanced with a spell and baked into apple pies that they all ate in order to see how it all ends.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Luca's end xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lucas lay in his bed, his face retained his late 30s look, despite the witches that saw this vision could see signs that his look was a result of rejuvenation potions that kept him young and virile, even now when he was past his 90s.
Through the door barged in Wednesday Addams, on a beautiful white as snow Alicorn, a unicorn with wings, she then descended from it and slit the creature's throat and harvested it's blood and took it to Lucas.
Lucas, who was in a weakened state, managed to get up enough to drink the blood, much to Wednesday's joy, but then her smile turned to horror.
"It's not working! Why isn't it working!? Unicorn blood can bring someone close to death back to life and Alicorn blood can revive the dead themselves! Why isn't it working!?" She said in despair.
"Wednesday..." Lucas pleaded with her, only for Wednesday to take out a Book similar to the Book of the Beast, but from a different deity and take Luca's hand, put a pen in his hand and make him write his name in it. Immediately Luca's hair changed, a wave of energy was felt all around and...Lucas was still weak and bed ridden.
"Why...why...you are now a warlock! YOU SHOULD HAVE A LONGER LIFE! WHY!?" Wednesday said tears overwhelmed her as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Diana...My Diana...it's over...I am at the end, mortal...warlock...politician or any other dark creatures or light one I may be...my time is near. No magic blood, potion or pact will work. When my moment comes then it does not matter, my time will stay the same. Don't be sad Diana, the hunt's not over yet." Lucas whispered as he gently stroke his wife's hair.
Wednesday grabbed his hand and then hungrily started kissing it, licking it with her tongue and even biting it like a hungry wolf as she looked at him with predatory eyes.
"If this is the end, If I am to spend centuries without you, then I will feast until the end so that I may have something to keep me satiated on the lonely nights ahead. "Wednesday said and pounced on Lucas, ripping the sheets, his clothes, locking the doors and summoning food and drink.
For the next few days Lucas and Wednesday would not leave the bedroom, not stopping to sleep, eat, or even drink as Wednesday devoured Lucas in her desperate passion.
Wednesday was on top of him, her climax near when she felt it. As satisfaction reached her, so too did the death throws began, she threw her head back as she climaxed with Luca's death spasms and tears overcame her.
Wednesday leaned forward and kissed Lucas, who kissed back with his final breath.
Xxxxxxxxx A few days latter xxxxxxxxxxxx
"Look at that, it's the Kinkle widow and is that."
"Yes, it's a coffin on wheels and with a trolley handle. You don't think that...that Mr Kinkle is..."
The two gossiping women who saw Wednesday at the store witnessed as Wednesday opened the coffin on wheels and extracted grocery bags from it and put in in her car that had blackened windows.
They both let out a sigh of relief as Wednesday then moved into the driver's seat and turned to the occupant of the passenger seat as she drove down the street.
"Ready for our vacation darling? Is the Bermuda Triangle okay this year?" Wednesday asked the dried up body of her husband Lucas leaned it's head forward from the fact that Wednesday pushed the break to adjust the speed, making it looked like Lucas nodded in agreement.
"Splendid!" Wednesday said as she raised up the windows and put a scuba mask and oxygen tank on as she drove into the ocean and towards the Bermuda Triangle.
As they did so Wednesday mind went out to those gossiping housewives she saw when she was at the store.
"Nosy busybodies, thinking that Lucas is some animal that needs to be kept in a coffin, when he is the perfect gentle soul, why even now a fly is on his hand and he isn't even trying to swat it. I'll show them, that me and him are perfectly fine and normal, let them see us and they'll say 'such a lovely couple, why they wouldn't even hurt a fly.'
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx Sabrina and Agatha's vision xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tommy and Harvey where in a similar position that their dad was decades ago, old and dying yet at the same time still looking young and like their father the two of them where lying on their backs naked as Sabrina and Agatha respectively where having passionate sex with them, as way to cope with their soon to be deaths from old age.
For the past several days it was nothing but kisses, caresses and throws of passion as the witches used magic to kept their men with enough energy to continue on. But unlike Wednesday, Sabrina and Agatha had limits and at one point they both felt asleep onto of the two old men and kept a possessive grip on them.
"Bro, you dead yet?" Harvey said to his brother.
"Nah bro. Dude, there's two things we need to do before we go." Tommy replied.
"I agree." Harvey said and they both used what little strength they had to crawl out of their wives' grips and go to get their old electric guitars.
They hooked them both to an amp and then hooked two pairs of headphones and put them on their heads, so as to not wake the girls, and then they started shredding an instrumental version mega mix of various songs that started with 'Nothing but a good time' by Poison, it's middle was made of 'Winds of Change' and finished with 'Show must go on by Queen'.
But as they reached the final parts of the song they both then pulled out a knife, threw it at each other and both caught it with their mouths.
"Mamushka!"
"Mamushka!"
The two brother's said with a smile and when it was over the brothers had to sit down on the bed from exhaustion.
"Bill and Ted 3 was good." Tommy said.
"Yeah, they still got it and so did we. It was an honor bro." Harvey said to Tommy.
"Same bro, you're the best bro a bro could ask for, cause your my bro!"
"Bro!"
"Bro!"
Harvey and Tommy both said as they did a Wild Stallions mutual air guitar riff before their returned to bed and put embraced their wives and covered them with blankets.
"My only regret is that we'll hurt them a lot soon." Harvey said in sadness as he gently touched Sabrina's hair.
"Same bro." Tommy said as he played with one of Agatha's braids.
"See you on the other side Harvey."
"Same and I hope that we'll see the girls only after a long and happy life on their part." Harvey said as the two brothers then leaned in and whispered to the sleeping girls.
"Be excellent to everyone and party hard."
"Be excellent to everyone and party hard."
The brother's said and did a fist bump between themselves before they turned back to their wives and gave them a gentle kiss on their foreheads as they both closed their eyes for the last time.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Latter, Greendale Cemetery xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A coffin was put in the grounds as the Death came to take the latest batch of souls to the Afterlife. Thus Death smiled assuringly at the newly terrified ghosts.
"Hello. My name is Sabrina and this is Harvey and we'll be your grim reapers for today!" Sabrina said cheerfully as she and Harvey shared a mutual smile of happiness, at having found a way to be together even after death.
"So you'll be taking us to the afterlife?" One ghost asked.
"Not quite, first you all have to go to orientation." Harvey said cheerfully.
"Orientation?" One ghost asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, dying is a unionized after all! And as newly minted dead citizens you'll all be given proper guidance." Harvey replied and.
"And we're not employees of death, we're cast members!"
"And when you are part of a cast you must be excellent to each other" Harvey said
"And party hard!"
Sabrina added as she and Harvey smiled and the ghost groaned.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The Academy of Unseen Arts xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The students at the Academy all listened, while avoiding her gaze from terror, as the teacher they feared the most continued on her lecture.
"And that is when they made him their chief. Now then tomorrow we will be receiving our new batch of mortal students that come from witch families, and I expect you all to live up to the Creed of this fine institution 'Sublimis mutuo, partes magno' what does it mean?" Agatha asked her students.
"Be excellent to each other and party hard. Yes Mistress Agatha, we will obey." The children all said in a choir like manner.
"Good, now then. My husband shall take you all to today's sporting activity, darling?" Agatha said and immediately the whole classroom shook as covers and drawers opened and closed, windows where blow open and the door slammed wide by itself, as the hallway's light's flickered by themselves to life, terrifying the young witches and warlocks.
This was why Agatha was feared by them, to them she was the crazy witch who married a mortal and after he died she bound his spirit as the Poltergeist of the School and now he haunted it.
"Thank you darling, now run along children, follow the haunted lights to the gymnasium and if you take a wrong turn then just use the creepy laughing whispers in the dark to guide you to safety." Agatha said cheerfully as she smiled as the a haunted wind blew forth through the classroom.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The visions ended there and then and Nick was once more at a loss of words.
"Woah, I was only kidding about the death by Snu-Snu part." Nick said, and intentionally not mentioned that that was the least outrageous thing that the vision showed them.
"I'll go insane and kept his corpse...Oh, what a relief!" Wednesday said with purest joy in her voice.
"I'll become death on two legs! This is marvelous news!" Sabrina said with elation.
"I'll be haunted for the rest of my life!...Oh, now I am ruining my make-up!" Agatha said as she cried tears of joy.
"This isn't right! Farmboy is the boy next door, he's supposed to be a good influence on them, not make them all more crazy and evil!" Nick whispered to Prudence after Agatha, Wednesday and Sabrina left to be reunite with the boys, now in a much happier mood.
"He is! We did a scrying spell and in the universes where you and Sabrina stay together always ends with one of us Weird Sisters dying, along with you and Sabrina. The two of you die and end up in the White Room." Prudence whispered back.
At that new information Nick's hair stood on his head as his eyes bulged out in shock.
"The White Room? The place where only the souls who have brought the worse misery in the world are send? The cruelest place is Hell? How? What could we have done to deserve Solidary Confinement for the Dead?" Nick said before Prudence and Dorcas did as mind meld and showed them the full story of that universe.
"Necromancy? Cheating Death? The Mandrake? Splitting herself in two with a paradox? And I...I helped her...I helped her...I never once tried to stop her...never once tried to stop her unleashing all those horrors into the world...I didn't even stop her when she killed herself..." Nick said with a broken voice of disbelief as he fell to his knees in despair from the actions of his alternate self.
"How could I have been such a fool?" Nick asked.
"You weren't a fool, the two of you just brought the worst in each other. You were a partner that helped Sabrina do her reckless deeds and encouraged them, she was one that showed you knew thrills, but she didn't know when to stop and actively enticed you to them. Together you mutually brought each other down a adrenalin junkie destructive path that...well...ended with you jailed in the Arkham Asylum for dead souls, four white walls and nothing but the two of you."
"We had so much chemistry and the sparks just flew...and we both burned each other till nothing but ash, tears and pain remained." Nick said in bittersweet lamentation.
"It might not be such a bad thing. I mean together in death with the one you loves can be a good thing." Dorcas offered in a friendly manner.
"Normally yes, but the White Room is the most horrifying of punishments because there is nothing there to do, you get one book that you finish in an hour and then nothing, no work, not play, no distractions, no sights, sounds, places to go. By yourself you go mad in half day, within a week we'd be at each other's throats. In fact..." Nick said and took out a mirror and used his blood to make a sigil that showed them the other Universe that Prudence described.
There they saw it.
With nothing to distract them and only themselves for company they had nothing to keep them busy from the flaws in their relationship.
Nick's dark side, his vanity, his jealousy and possessiveness and pettiness grew till eventually he shifted into a horned demon like Satan, while Sabrina's pride, greed, vanity and stubbornness that she knew best made her change into Ghoul like creature that Madam Satan was. This came about because both of them fuelled each other's darkness, for eventually Nick put the blame on her for their condition, even if his choice of suicide was voluntary on his part, and even if this time the fault for ending up in the White Room was hers she refused to admit it.
Thus they both degenerated until neither of them where human anymore.
Nick then wiped the blood away from the mirror before more was shown, for that was all they needed to see, that was all he needed to see.
"I really was a bad boyfriend."
"She was also a bad girlfriend." Prudence added, defending Nick in a way.
"We'll, things worked out for the best then. I doubt anyone would be happy on how we turned out in that universe. Sabrina's darker urges are kept in check by farmboy, farmboy is with the woman he truly loves, I am living and breathing and me and Sabrina have the most healthy relationship that we could possibly have. Me and her, we're partners in crime, comrades in arms, amigos, desperados, and comrades don't screw each other." Nick said with humor in his bittersweet tone.
"Don't be so sad Nicky, why don't we cheer you up?" Prudence asked as she and Dorcas stared caressing his chin and chest.
"Could...could we cuddle and talk? I...I just want to hold you and listen to your heartbeat." Nick said and with a smile Prudence and Dorcas embraced him.
The trio would spend the night not making love or anything else decadent, all they did was hold each other wordlessly and despite its tame nature it was the best night of their lives.
As the sun rose up, signaling the changing of the seasons, Nick looked up at the rays of light and smiled.
"There is always hope for a better future. The sun always comes out to drive the darkness away."