Regina slowly opened her eyes, and the awkward little sound crackling from her throat could only be described as a groan. Or an attempt at groaning. God, she felt completely dizzy. What time was it? How many centuries had passed since she went to bed?

Of course, she had ended up going to bed. Her energy had fizzled out sometime after dinner, and she had gone to bed with a massive stomachache. Which hadn't just been psychosomatic. Later yesterday, she had discovered that she had gotten her period. Unexpectedly. Due to trauma, and all the medicine she had been taken, her period had become very irregular. And not to mention, rather painful.

She wasn't sure what Killian had fucked up inside of her when he kicked her in the gut, but whatever he had hit, had made her period much more painful.

Regina fought her way up in a sitting position and reached for her phone. Zelena had to be the one who had put it there. She knew for a fact that she had left it downstairs not to be disturbed while resting. She had left Zelena in charge of answering any messages she might receive, and now she opened her messages to scroll through them. There were a lot. And they started early this morning.

'I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to write to you after having read your letter. I don't think there are any words to describe what I'm feeling. But this isn't about me. God, Regina, are you alright? No. Of course you're not. I already knew that, but I don't really know what else I can write. I suppose I just want to hear from you.'

Emma. Of course. Regina had expected that Emma would react in some kind of way when reading the letter. And once again, Emma reacted with concern and kindness. Regina read the next message. The message Zelena had written on her behalf.

'Hello, Emma. This is Zelena. I'm afraid Regina isn't doing a hundred percent well today. She's currently taking a nap. Don't worry, she gave me permission to answer her texts.'

'This is gonna sound like a right cliché, but I'm really, really sorry to hear that she isn't doing well. And I'm really sorry that she had to relive this because of me. Will you tell her that?'

'No, I will not. Because you didn't force her to relive anything, Emma. She chose to share her story with you.'

Regina smiled. She was glad that Zelena had responded to the text this way. This was exactly what Regina would have written if she had been in a position to text earlier. Which she had not. She had actually been feeling mighty poorly. The cramps mixed with the psychosomatic pains radiating from her abdomen, had not been a good cocktail.

'I really miss her.'

Something that could have been a gasp escaped Regina. Emma missed her. Was she… Was she not angry with her for just cutting their contact so suddenly?

This was all wrong. Emma should be angry. Not miss her.

She was not worthy of Emma's kindness.

'I know Liam is after you, but I'm sure that Graham and his officers will get him. They'll make the threat disappear.'

Regina nodded firmly. Graham and his officers had to make the threat disappear. They had to find Liam and prevent him from doing something really stupid.

Not that he would, of course. As long as Emma stayed away, she would be safe. No harm would come to her.

Regina kept reading the texts Zelena and Emma had exchanged while she was asleep.

'I hope you're right.'

'Ever since she met you, I've seen glimpses of the old Regina. The happy Regina. And it has given me hope for the future. Don't give up on her, Emma.'

Well. Regina frowned. That was definitely Zelena freewheeling. She had never asked Zelena to tell Emma not to give up on her.

Regina knew that she probably should scold her sister for being too openmouthed, but she could feel that she deep down wasn't all that upset about what Zelena had said to Emma.

Not wanting Emma to give up on her was essentially what Regina wanted.

But could she really ask that of Emma after the stunt she'd pulled when she cut the contact without as much as an explanation? Wasn't she just being horribly selfish for hoping that Emma would not give up on her?

'Never.'

That one little word written by Emma sometimes earlier today gave Regina hope. Not that she deserved having any, but maybe, somehow…. It was not too late. Perhaps her hope wasn't in vain.

'I'll tell her you texted, but she might not be ready to reply to you today. Or tomorrow.'

As true as that was, Regina wondered whether it was a bit… harsh. It looked alarming. And she didn't want Emma to worry about her.

'I understand thaat. Will you tell her that I'm thinking about her?'

Regina felt her throat close up in a way that was not panicky. God, Emma was thinking about her. She was definitely not worthy of that!

'I most certainly will. Take care of yourself, Emma. Don't take any unnecessary risks. I know you want to see her, but please think about your safety. Regina would be devastated if something happened to you.'

Indeed, that was true. Regina couldn't bear the idea of Emma getting hurt just because of her.

'I promise I'll be careful.'

'Good.'

Regina's eyes stung with unshed tears as she put down the phone. She missed Emma so much, her heart was clenching painfully in her chest. There was nothing she'd want more than to go to Steveston to see Emma, but she knew that was not possible. She and Emma could not see each other. Now more than ever, it was important that they stayed away from one another while the police searched for Liam.

Regina had actually ended up driving to Steveston police station yesterday after her therapy session. She had found that a half-cryptic text message to Graham wasn't enough, so she had made the decision to go and see him in person. It hadn't been an easy choice to make. She had been so exhausted she had barely been able to drive there, but she had pushed through and done it anyway.

Going to the station had not been easy. Graham had been there, and of course he had been wearing his uniform. With the nightstick at his hip. Seeing the uniform and laying eyes on the nightstick had taken Regina right back to all the times where Killian had run the nightstick up and down her naked back. A silent threat.

She had almost had a full-blown panic attack right then and there. She had nearly bolted. But she had pushed through the feeling, and she had managed to fill in the gaps for Graham. She had confirmed that the man stalking Emma was indeed her former 'brother-in-law', Liam Jones, and she had also given Graham a list over the places Liam had worked and lived over the years. She had written down a list over his convictions, and she had stressed out how dangerous Killian Jones was, and she had made it clear that Liam was the same. Dangerous. Very dangerous.

She had been completely squashed both from the therapy session and after having 'talked' to Graham when she came home. But she had also been satisfied. Her exhaustion (and the stomachache) was worth it. Because she had taken charge. She had delved deep into her feelings, the good, the bad and the 'forbidden'. And she had teamed up with Graham. Actively taken the first step in what hopefully would be the end of Liam's reign of terror.

Zelena had been pretty surprised when Regina came home and told her that she had met up with Graham in Steveston. Surprised and openly proud over Regina's sudden resourcefulness.

So was Regina. She had been completely satisfied with her decision about talking to Graham, but everything, the spontaneous drive to Steveston and the therapy session had come with a price. Talking about the rape had come with a price. Regina had felt icky when coming home, and after having said hello to her sister, she had headed straight to the bathroom, locked the door, shed her clothes and then taken a very long and very hot bath in the tub. She had added lots of bubbles to her bath. That way she couldn't see her body in the water. Regina didn't like looking at her body. It merely served as one big reminder of what had happened to her.

She had soaked in the tub for an hour until the water turned cold. Then she had wrapped herself in her thick, fluffy bathrobe and had gone downstairs to make herself a cup of coffee. She had brought the cup of coffee with her upstairs, but before she could get a chance to drink anything, she had fallen asleep. When she woke up hours later, the coffee had been cold, and she had been in pain. It had radiated from her abdomen, and she hadn't done much for the rest of that day.

And it seemed like tomorrow was going to be another restitutive day. She was still having cramps.

Regina rubbed a hand over her forehead. She was getting sick and tired of having 'restitutive' days. She was tired of feeling like she had been through the goddamn wringer every single time she had seen her therapist. And she was tired of feeling like her skin was crawling every time they had discussed a difficult subject. Which there were many of.

She dragged her unwilling body out of bed and cringed at the dizziness hitting her as soon as she stood upright. The blood rushed away from her brain and made black spots dance before her eyes for a moment. She could easily have slept eight or perhaps even twelve more hours. But she was not going to! Not today!

Regina blinked a few times in an attempt to make the dizziness go away. Then she resourcefully took a step towards the door. She was disorientated. Confused because she kept waking up at odd hours.

And she had a feeling that there would be plenty of more naps tomorrow. The exhaustion sat wrapped around her bones like metal wires threatening to snap her in half. How was it even possible to be this tired?

She was so tired of being tired.

Regina snatched her phone from the bedside table and scrolled through the messages exchanged between Emma and Zelena once again. She looked at those four little words again.

I really miss her.

An imaginary cotton ball sat snug in Regina's throat as she opened a new message. Her fingers seemed to find the words on their own. 'I miss you too'.

What was she doing? She couldn't possibly send this message to Emma. She couldn't do anything before Liam was locked up. And even then, it could very well be too late. Regina deleted the message before she could do something really stupid. Then she went downstairs.

The house was quiet. Henry was at Nick's. Zelena asleep. Hopefully, it would stay had that. Regina hated when Zelena woke up and found her wandering about the house. She hated worrying her sister.

She padded into the kitchen and opened the fridge. She was peckerish. Had a sudden need for sweets. That was definitely her period talking, but Regina chose to humor it and treated herself to a piece of chocolate. The taste was wonderful and sweet, but her memories brought a bitter aftertaste with it.

Killian hadn't liked whenever she ate chocolate or other 'unhealthy' things. He had always wrinkled his nose and reminded her that 'it would be a shame if the wedding dress has to be adjusted, babe.'

Always babe. Always a 'sweet' pet name accompanying the blow.

Regina absolutely detested the word 'babe'. And she absolutely detested herself for having stopped eating the chocolate when Killian commented on it.

She should have kept stuffing her face. And then she should have told him to stuff it.

Regina sighed as she unwrapped another piece of chocolate. As if she ever would have gotten away with telling him to stuff it.

He would have punished her for it.

Like he always punished her for anything.

She spitefully stuffed another piece of chocolate inside her mouth and chewed her way through it with much delight. If he could see her now….

No.

Regina frowned. She was glad that he COULDN'T see her now. She was glad that he was far, far away.

But Liam was seemingly always close by.

Regina's shoulders slumped. She hadn't imagined that she ever would be thinking of the man who could have become her brother-in-law.

But he never could have been. He had never been in her corner. Had never supported her.

A good brother-in-law would have reacted to her veiled words about Killian's temper. A good brother-in-law would have followed up on that. But he hadn't. He had chosen Killian. He had chosen to be loyal to the monster he knew wasn't treating Regina kindly.

To hell with them. To hell with both of them.

Regina marched into the living room where her laptop was standing on the coffee table. She had used it to do some work earlier, but she had kept nodding off, so she had called the quits and forgotten to take the laptop with her.

Oh well, since she was here, she might as well do a bit of work. Just for a moment. She couldn't sleep all the time, could she?

But before sitting down in the couch and starting work, Regina went back into the kitchen where she made herself a hot water bottle. It would soothe her cramps. Hopefully.

When that was done, she brought the hot water bottle with her into the living room where she sat down on the couch and grabbed her laptop. She switched it on and logged into the university's web side. Her intention really was to work, but by some mysterious accident, she ended up on Facebook instead. Regina had a profile like everyone else, but she very rarely used it. Only to 'spy' on Henry. Like any good mother would.

Nothing new seemed to have happened on Facebook, though. Except for Zelena having uploaded a new picture of her and Chad some time earlier tonight. Regina quickly clicked 'like'. It was so rare for her sister to post a picture of her and Chad. She was not the sentimental type. At least not when it came to couple-stuff as she called it. Regina smiled to herself. It was a great picture. They looked very happy together. As they should be. Chad was a good man. Very calm when Zelena was stressing. They complimented each other wonderfully.

Her laptop made a little sound indicating that she had gotten a message. From Malena.

Guilt flooded Regina. She had not reached out to Malena like she said she would. Once again, she had been an incredibly lousy friend.

'Can't sleep?' Malena had written.

Regina would have laughed if it had been possible. Her issue was that she was sleeping too much. But she couldn't explain that to Mal, so….

'Not really. And neither can you?'

'Dragons only sleep during the day. I thought you knew that, dear.'

Regina was amused. And happy. Malena communicated like they talked yesterday.

'I have heard that's the case, yes.'

'What is keeping you up this late?'

A completely reasonable question. But one that Regina still struggled to answer. 'I don't know. I just can't sleep.'

'I see. Had it been any earlier, I would have invited you over for a cup of coffee.'

Regina smiled. 'That could have been very nice. Do you think we could do it another time?'

'Of course.'

Regina smiled again. But then another wave of guilt washed over her. 'I'm sorry,' she typed. 'For being such an awful friend and just disappearing and not taking any of your calls or responding to your messages.'

She sent the message and it didn't take long before she saw the three blue dots jumping about as Mal typed. She was sort of hoping that Malena would agree with her. Scold her for being a terrible friend and warn her to never let it happen again.

But of course, Malena did nothing of the sort. 'Don't be silly, dear. Do you really think that I'll get angry with you for taking some time to yourself? Think again. You have been in my life since we were fifteen years old, and I am not going to get insulted by a bit of radio silence from you. I'm a big girl. You had your reasons, and one day you're going to tell me, isn't that right?'

As always, Malena had hit the head on the nail. Someday, Regina would sit her oldest, bestest friend down and tell her everything. But not right now. Everything was still too raw. The memories too painful. 'Yes. One day.'

'That's all I need to know. There is something else I've been meaning to ask you about, but I don't want to pry.'

'Ask away.'

'Tell me if I overstep.'

'Of course.' Regina smiled a little. It was not the first time Malena had asked her to do that. Sometimes her ability to grasp social cues was 'wonky' as she called it. Regina was used to it, though.

'I can't help but notice that my newest employee has looked quite down in the dumps lately. I do not know her well enough to ask her what is going on, but I have a feeling that you might know.'

Emma had been looking sad at work. So sad Malena had noticed it. Shit. Regina felt terrible. And in dire need to see Emma Swan. Again.

'It's my fault. I fucked up. Or rather, the circumstances in my life is fucked up right now and there isn't much opportunity for dating. But I'm working on it.' Meaning that she hoped the police was working on it. Please, please, please, let them catch Liam!

'Surely, you're not in trouble, are you, my dear?'

'No, of course not.'

'Good. You would have told me if you were in trouble, wouldn't you?'

Regina's guilty conscience manifested itself as increasing stomachache as she typed 'Of course'. She was a fucking liar. She had been in trouble (big, big trouble!) and she hadn't reacted out to her oldest and bestest friend. Instead she had hid and pretended and then cut herself out of Mal's life entirely.

Some friend she was.

'Good. I am very glad we're communicating again, dear. We weren't doing much of that when you were engaged. I always got the feeling that your fiancé didn't like me all that much.'

Regina got a bizarre urge to laugh. That was to put it lightly. Killian had given her a so-called 'choice'. Either she convinced Malena to participate in a threesome with the two of them, or she wasn't welcome in their life at all.

Of course, Regina had chosen to gradually let go of Malena. It had been her only choice. There was no way in hell she would expose Malena to Killian's gross and inappropriate suggestions.

'You're right. He didn't like you very much.' To put it lightly. Killian had been insanely jealous of Malena and the strong bond there was between her and Regina. If Regina dared being home later than normally, it was as certain as the sun that Killian would put her through a third-degree and eventually circle back to his old suspicion. That Regina had snuck off to see Malena. Which she never had. She had actively chosen to stay away from her friend in order to protect her.

'I thought so. What a jerk.'

There was that urge to laugh again.

'Oh, sorry, I probably shouldn't call him that. My apologies.'

'Actually, jerk is fine. I don't mind.' Regina could have come up with far worse name that could have fitted Killian Jones, but she chose not to. That would only raise questions. And she wasn't ready to answer any questions. Not yet. 'Jerk' was vague enough. It seemed like a reasonable thing to call a man who seemingly had been drunk driving.

'Well, jerk it is, then. You know how I feel about people who doesn't like me or gives me a weird vibe.'

'Indeed I do.' Killian only met Malena three times, but for someone as sensitive to other people's moods as Mal was, that was enough for her to pick up on how he felt about her. Once again, Regina felt a stab of guilt. How could she so easily have cut Malena out of her life?

'How have you been?' it wasn't nearly good enough, but it was the best she could do right now.

'Quite well. I'm seeing someone. It's still very new, and I'm skittish of being too happy, you know me, but she's a wonderful woman so I'm cautiously optimistic.'

Regina's cheeks hurt from smiling. Malena was seeing someone! A 'wonderful woman'. That was excellent!

'That is quite possibly the best thing I have heard in a long while. When you're ready, I'd love to hear more about her.'

'When I know if we're going somewhere, I will tell you more about her, I promise. But right now, it's just too new and nerve-wracking.'

'I get it.' Entering a new relationship was always nerve wracking, but particularly for Malena.

'Of course, you do. Well, my dear, it would appear that dragons do need sleep when it comes to it.'

A low rumble formed in Regina's throat. 'Good night, Malena.'

'Goodnight. I would love to receive a text from you tomorrow. And the day after that. It's perfectly fine that you took some time to yourself, we all need that once in a while, but I do have to admit that I prefer having you in my life.'

'I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'm so sorry that I've been such an awful friend.'

'Don't be ridiculous. Being an awful friend is not in your nature, dear. Just give me a warning the next time you feel like taking some time to yourself. There's no reason to apologize. If anyone understands what its like to need time to yourself, it's me. For various reasons. And in the meantime, would you like to meet up for a coffee or something sometimes?'

'Coffee sounds nice', Regina typed and smiled. Everything was so simple with Mal. No reason to apologize and let's meet up for coffee.

Everyone deserved a Malena in their life. And Regina would not push her out again.'Splendid. I'll be looking forward to that. Goodnight, Regina. I hope you get some sleep. We both know that you don't function properly when you don't sleep.'

Regina rumbled in amusement again when she saw that Malena had logged off. In her usual, abrupt way. Good old Malena. And she was right. Regina did not function properly when she didn't get any sleep. It was time to go upstairs.

Regina logged off and left the laptop standing on the coffee table. She couldn't be bothered to bring it upstairs tonight even though she probably should. She held the hot water bottle tight against her stomach as she quietly went upstairs. She was still having cramps. Bad ones. Her period was always awful the two first days. Giving birth hadn't changed that. Unfortunately.

She padded into the hallway and stood and listened for a moment. Still so quiet. Very different from when Henry was home. He had the habit of talking in his sleep. He had started doing that when he was a very young boy. It had started out as giggling. Which was terrifying in the middle of the night. And when he got a bit older, he had started talking instead. There was this one time where Malena had watched him during the night and Henry suddenly and very, very loudly had said: 'who are you?'

The following morning, Malena told Regina that she never had run up the stairs so quickly. She was certain that there had been a stranger in Henry's room.

"I thought someone was trying to kidnap my godson," she had told Regina with flaring nostrils. "And hell would freeze over before I let that happen!" she had also casually revealed that she had been armed. With a candlestick. Just in case.

Regina smiled at the memory. Perhaps she should surprise Henry with some in the weekend. That would be nice. And Henry wasn't the only one who liked donuts. So did Regina. Especially the ones with chocolate frosting. Those were really good.

Regina continued down the hallway and slipped inside her own room. The house was still quiet. This time, she had not woken Zelena. Good. She needed her sleep too. She couldn't keep getting out of bed every time Regina did.

She went to bed with the hot water bottle pressed against her stomach and cringed at the way her abdomen kept cramping. It hadn't been so bad when she was talking to Malena, but now that she was thinking about, the pain seemed to worsen.

So perhaps she should try thinking about something else. Like…... Malena. Regina was so grateful they were talking again, and despite that Malena claimed that there was no reason to apologize, Regina felt differently. She felt so guilty for having disappeared out of her best friend's life. That had been so wrong.

She and Malena had known each other for so long. They started out as friends at fifteen years old. Then Malena had more or less blindsided her by kissing her on her sixteenth birthday, but Regina hadn't minded, because she had started seeing Mal in a different light, and she had come to the realization that she had a crush on her best friend.

They had gone from friends to giggly, fumbly dates which mainly consisted of coffee and shy handholding in a dark cinema and half-hesitant kisses whenever the possibility arrived. As time passed, they grew from giggly in love and to passionately in love. On the night of the prom, Regina had willingly ditched the dance for a cheap hotel room and a wonky bed and clothes strewn all over the floor. That had been her first time, and she never once had regretted it. They had grown even closer after that. Regina offered Mal a shoulder to lean on when she freaked out because her parents wanted her to see a therapist because they suspected that there was an underlying reason for their daughter's many quirks. Malena had blankly refused to see a therapist. She had actually lived with Regina and her parents for fourteen days until her parents realized that they could not force their daughter to get diagnosed if she did not want to.

"I'm not an idiot," Malena had said with a scoff. "I know that my brain works differently than others. I googled it a million years ago. I don't need to see a therapist to know that I'm on the autism spectrum. It's fairly obvious, don't you think?"

Yes, it was. Regina had reached that conclusion too. But of course it didn't bother her. Malena was Malena no matter what. Diagnosis or no diagnosis.

When Cora Mills was killed in a car accident when Regina was eighteen, Malena had been her rock. She had more or less moved into Regina's bedroom and had stayed with her for two months. She had attended the funeral and listened every time Regina needed to unload. She had supported Regina in her plans of going to England when Regina went through her mother's papers and discovered that Zelena existed. And she had accepted that it was a journey Regina needed to make on her own. But she had immediately accepted Zelena as Regina's sister without questioning it.

They lived in the same dorm and spent so much time in each other's rooms that their friends joked that they lived together. They graduated from college together. Moved in together and lived comfortably while pursuing different things. Malena in the publishing business, and Regina aiming to become a professor. And somewhere along the way, their passionate love for one another turned into something that was equally as deep but with no romance to it. The decision of not being together anymore had been mutual. And completely undramatic. Nobody had shouted. Nobody had cried. Nobody had fallen for someone else. It was a very quiet thing that couldn't even be described as a breakup.

"Tears would be ridiculous", Malena said scoffed. "We're not walking out of each other's lives. We're simply renewing our friendship vows. Nothing to cry about."

Regina had laughed. They had hugged each other for the longest time, and she had gently told her best friend that she would be moving out of the apartment they had shared. Malena had accepted that. And threatened to hunt her down if she didn't stay in touch.

Regina had wholeheartedly promised. Then she had moved out. They had been twenty-one when they broke up. Together for five years. That was an achievement considering how young they still were. And despite Malena's talk about there being nothing to cry about, Regina had been upset for a while. It was the prospect of starting over with someone new that scared her. But at the same time, she knew that going back to being friends had been the right decision. Regina appreciated romance. And passion. And the romantic aspect as well as the passionate aspect in her relationship with Malena had faded over the years. There had been nothing to separate romance from friendship, and Regina knew that she wanted more. And she knew that Malena wanted more. It had been the right decision to make.

There had been a few other women. And a few men. Casual dates. None of them had been able to measure up to Malena. Regina found herself comparing both the women and the men to Malena, and she decided that casual dates was enough for now. She was not ready for anything serious so soon after breaking up with Malena.

They had remained in each other's lives, though. Of course they had. They met for drinks and a meal and talked and laughed and exchanged gossip. Regina wasn't the only one who struggled to get back in the dating game.

"I guess you are a tough act to follow, my dear," Malena had quipped. And then they had toasted in margarita.

Their friendship remained tight no matter what, and when Regina to her shock (and admitted, horror) became pregnant at twenty-four, Malena was the first person she told. Actually, she showed up on Malena's doorstep, bawling her eyes out in the middle of the night. Malena had been thoroughly confused until Regina had hiccupped the word 'pregnant'

"Well, fuck me backwards," Malena had said before ushering Regina inside. They had talked all through the night, and by morning, Regina felt a little calmer. And very clear in her decision of keeping the baby and embarking on a new adventure. Being a single mother.

Regina shifted under the covers as she thought back to her pregnancy ten years ago. Malena had been a wonderful support. She had gone with Regina to every single ultrasound, had listened to every single concern, had held Regina's hair when she threw up, had fussed over her when she was tired or not eating or when worry made her brow crease. She had helped Regina prepare for the baby. Had accompanied her on many a shopping trip to buy baby clothes, car seats and pacifiers. And that was a huge thing for someone who detested shopping and large crowds as much as Malena did. She had helped Regina paint the baby's room, she had turned picking a stroller into a mission. Had spent a whole week googling the best brand. And she had even gone to Lamaze classes with Regina because 'it will look silly if you go alone, my dear.'

And somehow, as Regina's belly swelled, the lines between friendship and romance had been blurred once again. Too blurred to see things clearly.

Regina sighed. Embarking on a casual no-strings-attached relationship that only consisted of sex had definitely been a bad idea. They both knew that. And they had hid behind excuses. Regina was pregnant and terrified (and honestly, her sex drive sky rocked in the third trimester), Malena was struggling because she had just been fired and now sought comfort in any shape or size. Landing in bed together again and again had been a shockingly easy choice to make at the time. It hadn't lasted long, at least not compared to how long they had been together in the past, and it could very well have ruined their friendship for good, but then, only three days before Regina's due date, her father unexpectedly died from a heart attack. Regina hit rock bottom, and she probably would have stayed there if it hadn't been for Malena. She had helped arranging the funeral, had supported Regina through it all, and when Regina broke down in hysteric and cryingly apologized for having used her, Malena had gently wiped her tears, patted her cheek and said: 'I used you too, my dear. We're both at fault here. Now the real question is whether we let this ruin our friendship or not."

Their friendship had remained. And when Regina five days later had given birth to Henry, Malena had been there to hold her hand and feed her ice chips and dab her forehead. She was the first person to hold Henry, and she had even suggested naming him after the grandfather he never got to meet.

Of course Regina had made Malena Henry's godmother. She couldn't think of a better person to take care of Henry if something was to happen to her. Malena had very much been a part of Regina and Henry's life throughout the years, but shortly before Regina's twenty seventh birthday, when she was up to her ears in motherhood and dealing with a rambunctious three year old while juggling her studies too, she noticed that Malena had grown a bit distant. When she asked her about it, a huge, goofy grin spread on Malena's face and she admitted having fallen in love. Head over heels. The woman in questions was called Briar Rose. She was a few years younger than Malena and Regina were, as pretty as a button with her long blonde hair and big blue Disney eyes. Regina had watched from a distance as Malena fell more and more in love with Briar Rose. She had been overjoyed when Malena's cheeks colored and her eyes shone, and she was only slightly surprised when Malena had started to talk about marriage. She had always claimed that marriage was not for her. That it was a 'middle aged institution where ownership is masked as romance', but Briar Rose had changed everything. Malena had flipped a hundred and eighty degrees. Completely besotted with beautiful Briar Rose and convinced that she was the woman she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with, Malena had gone out and bought an engagement ring. The prettiest, most expensive ring the store had to offer. She had shown up on Regina's doorstep, flashing the ring and grinningly announcing that she was going to propose to Briar Rose.

Regina had been slightly surprised. Malena and Briar Rose had only been together for a year and a half, but she had squashed the surprise (and the twinge of jealousy) and quickly decided to be happy for her best friend. Briar Rose was a nice girl with a sweet personality. Regina was certain that she and Malena would be very happy together.

But it was only a mere twelve hours later when she once again found Mal on her doorstep. She was pale and trembling. Her eyes were too big for her face, and when questioned she wasn't capable of telling Regina what was wrong.

Regina was one of the very few people who had ever witnessed Malena having a meltdown, so she had known what she was dealing with here. She had grabbed Mal's arm, ushered her inside and gotten her installed in the guest bedroom. Malena had still been incapable of talking, so Regina had not pushed her. She had simply sat by her best friend's side holding her hand whilst talking softly to her and rubbing her back now and then. It had taken almost an hour before Malena had broken down in tears and told Regina the whole story.

Briar Rose had said no when Malena had proposed to her. But not only that. She had also revealed that she had been seeing a man all along. His name was Stefan, and every time Briar Rose had gone out to meet her 'friends', she had actually sneaked away to see him. Malena had been completely blindsided by this. She had thought that Briar Rose loved her as much as Mal loved her. And Briar Rose had been a very good actress.

Malena told that she had pretty much fled the apartment while Briar Rose was still standing there and trying to explain herself, and Regina had wrapped her arms tightly around her best friend and let her have a good cry while she was thinking murderous thoughts about Briar Rose and her unforgiveable betrayal. Later that night, when Briar Rose had called Mal and she had begged Regina to answer the phone because she couldn't cope with it right now, Regina had gotten the chance to unload. And oh, how she had! She had pretty much screamed at Briar fucking Rose while calling her every bad thing the vocabulary had to offer. She had dumped bucket after bucket of acid over the girl's head, and when Briar was cheeky enough to wanting to talk to Mal, Regina had calmly informed the girl that if she ever tried contacting Malena again, she would personally find her and tear her apart limb by limb.

Briar had hung up. Henry had been summoned by all the yelling and stood bleary eyed and bushy haired in the doorway in his dinosaur pajamas while asking 'why are you yelling, mama?'

Malena had bursted into something that was half laughing, half crying. Then she had opened her arms, and Henry, who absolutely adored Malena, had thrown himself into her arms and hugged her and kissed her cheeks over and over again.

Malena had ended up living in Regina's guestroom for three weeks after that. To 'recover from that epic fail' as she called it. But she hadn't done much recovering. Regina had worriedly watched as a new kind of hardness settled behind her friend's eyes, and Mal's voice was equally steely when she vowed that she was done with love and relationships. She honored that vow and instead threw herself into creating what later would become Dragon Publishing.

Regina didn't date either. She was much too busy raising her son and juggling her career as best as she could. Mal stopped by every Sunday for roast chicken or Mofongo, and more than once, Regina silently cursed Briar Rose for the pain she had inflicted upon Malena. Kind, caring, sweet, trusting Malena who struggled so much when it came to opening up to people. She had opened herself to Briar Rose, had trusted her, and instead of seeing it as the enormous honor and privilege it was to know Malena, Briar Rose had pretty much pissed up and down on Malena's honesty.

Regina shifted in the bed again. The disaster with Briar Rose had nearly broken Malena completely, and she started to think that Malena actually never would start dating again. But now she had met someone new. A 'wonderful woman'. That was something that made Regina so, so happy. Apart from her son and Zelena, Malena truly was the person she cared the most about in this world. They had been through the most things together. The good and the bad. And the awkward. Oh god, the awkward!

Regina winced as she thought back to her thirtieth birthday. She had not wanted any fuss, but Zelena had brushed that aside and had insisted upon making a fuss. She had invited thirty people, booked the nicest hotel Montreal had to offer, hired a babysitter for Henry and then proclaimed that now was the time to 'bloody celebrate!'

And what a party it had been. Drinks had been poured generously all through the night, the music was loud, dancing came easy, and by the end of the night, Regina and Malena were stupidly, spectacularly drunk. Influenced by alcohol, Regina had walked Malena back to her room in the hotel when the party ended. To this day, Regina still wasn't sure whose idea it had been, but under 'mysterious circumstances' she had ended up going with Malena inside her room rather than going back to her own. Alcohol and bad decisions walked hand in hand, and of course they had ended up sleeping together that night. Most of it was a bit blurry, but her naked state (and bluish marks on her neck and chest) the next morning had made it very easy for Regina to put two and two together. She had been mortified and had frantically rushed around to get dressed with the intention to leave as quickly as possible, but then Malena had woken up and had ruined that plan entirely. She had been a bit confused at first, but then she had seen the tangled sheets and Regina who was struggling to put her bra back on, and her eyes had widened slightly. She had gone 'Oh' and casually followed up with a: 'so, did we fuck?'

Regina had winced and confirmed that they had indeed done just that.

'Interesting', Malena had said lazily. 'And where are you going?'

That was when Regina had started to frantically apologize to her friend for once again messing up. She had rambled on and her tongue had stumbled over the words until Malena had silenced her by a: 'darling. You know that I adore you. And you know that I hate it when you try to take responsibility for everything. I was drunk too. What's done is done and can't be changed. I love you to bits, but I am not IN love with you. Are you in love with me?'

'No,' Regina had said. 'You know I love you, but not… like that'.

'What is the problem then?' Malena had scoffed. 'This was just a thing that happened. Let's call it an oopsie for the sake of amusement and then forget about it, shall we? I'm too fucking old to awkwardly avoid my best friend just because of a bit of drunken nonsense. What do you say? Shall we renew our friendship vows again?'

That they had. They had solemnly vowed never to sleep with one another again, and even though Regina had continued to be slightly embarrassed and a bit awkward around Mal for a little while, she had gotten over it, and they had gone back to being the best of friends. Just like they always had.

Regina curled up in bed. The guilt gnawed in her stomach. She and Malena had always made a point of telling each other everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. But this…. This was simply too ugly. And in some way, it was embarrassing too. How often had they not toasted to never allow anyone to push them around? How often had they not bragged about being 'boss women who didn't take shit from anyone'?

Mal would be devasted if she knew what Regina had been through. Regina couldn't bear seeing Malena devasted. Not when she was satisfied. Not when she had started seeing a new woman and finally allowing herself to be happy after Briar Rose's betrayal.

The car crash lie would have to remain for a little while. Coming clean about the abuse was exhausting. She had felt sick for two days just because she had written a letter to Emma. And if she reacted so strongly simply by writing a letter, how terribly wouldn't it be to tell Malena?

Regina couldn't do it. Not right now. She was still too weak emotionally. So even though it was selfish, she would keep lying. Right now, it was her only choice.

She winced a little as she pressed the hot water bottle a little more snugly against her abdomen. The cramps seemed to be getting worse. It was high time to go to sleep…...

To Be Continued….