CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

AN: Photos from the last 3 chapters are now uploaded to Photobucket (link on profile)

At some point Jax must have realised that the tears pouring from my eyes weren't going to stop in a hurry. He managed to pick me up from the chair and carried me down the hall to the room where I was staying. Thankfully he didn't leave; I wasn't sure how much he had heard of the conversation I'd had with Donna. He obviously heard the last bit of it, but I don't know at what point he actually arrived.

I must have fallen asleep at some stage cause when I regained awareness it's fully dark. I didn't move from where I was, my head comfortably resting on Jax's shoulder, one of my arms tucked under me, the other thrown over his waist. I'm nestled in between him and the wall.

"How much did you hear?" I ask quietly.

"You had just started talking about looking for apartment's together." he tells me, speaking just as quietly as I did.

"You didn't miss much then. You certainly got the worst parts of the story." I scoff, I'm not sure if I want him to ask about the bits he missed, but he does ask something that is harder for me to work out.

"Why didn't you tell us the whole story...at the table?" Jax asks. I'm not sure if he's upset, angry or disappointed.

"You guys didn't need to know about the horrible stuff he said to me, you didn't need to know how he treated me, you didn't need to know how much I became a down-trodden woman. I wasn't like that when I left, and I wasn't going let that shit follow me back here." I wiggle out of his grasp and sit up. In the dim light I can see Doj asleep on the floor at the end of the bed, Jax's kutte is hanging over the dressing table, and his boots are tucked under the chair in the corner. His phone and holster are sitting on the bedside table within arm reach.

Tucking a pillow beside me I twist sideways and leaning into the corner I look down at Jax, "If you want to know what happened before that there's not much really. We weren't together long before he started treating me like shit, telling me I was beautiful before the ink, that I was low class cause of it. He tried to dictate where we lived, where I worked, what I wore."

Jax nods. "You said he was let out on bail, how did he manage that with what he was charged with?"

"His parents, who are mostly absentee unless he something fabulous or idiotic bailed him out. They didn't take him back to Anchorage where they live. They decided to put him back in New York with 'orders' to not come near me. Like he was going to listen to them." I watch while Jax rearranges himself on the bed, propping his back against the headrest before he pulls me back beside him, an arm over my shoulder.

"Why didn't you ring us when you were in hospital?"

"Honestly there are lots of reasons. I didn't want you all to know what had happened; I didn't want to have to explain why I left and why I hadn't been in contact for years. But mostly I didn't want any of you to see what I looked like. I didn't even tell Donna what had happened till now. The only ones who got the full story were Al, Cam, the hospital doctors and my therapist." I'm happy to have a chance to talk to Jax with just him and me, hopefully we'll be able to get some things cleared up but I hope he doesn't want me to talk too long about this shit.

"Do you think he'll actually come here?" I know without him saying who he means.

"I hope not, but anything is possible. He never liked loosing; he hated being bested at anything. He was competitive to the point of getting aggressive if he lost and protesting that he was cheated. I'm not convinced he'll let me go if he didn't give up after the time he spent in jail then I don't think 3 thousand miles will change his mind. As far as he's concerned I belong to him." I don't know if Jax realises how scared I am about the whole thing. Not just the possibility of Craig coming to Charming, but that my friends might get hurt, or that I might end up being kidnapped again.

"We're going to keep you safe Sarah, I promise." I believe he'll try, I hope that with him and the other guys from the Club that they can keep me safe. I have never worried as much as I have over the past 7 months. Even while Craig was in jail I still worried about the whole thing.

I worried about having to testify when he went to trial. I worried about what his friends would say if I ran into them. I worried what I would do for work. I worried how my bills were being paid while I was in hospital (my friends had been paying them for me I later found out). I still worry about working, Charming is a tiny place and with no jobs anywhere in town that would use the degree's I had I considered looking in Lodi or Stockton, but that was going to wait for a while yet.

"So do I get to ask questions now?" I grin down at Jax, I've had enough of reliving my past and I want to dig into his.

He reaches into the pocket of his shirt and pulls out a neatly rolled joint, leans over and opens the window before he lights it. Taking a massive breath in he nods and says "Do your worst."

I guess he doesn't imagine I'll have thought of some of the things that have been buzzing in my head, let alone actually ask them. We sit quietly for a couple of seconds passing the joint between us before I open my mouth.

"Why the fuck did you marry a Reno hooker?"

"She was there; she took my mind off all the shit going on with the club. Tig's daughter had just shown up looking for money again. Clay and Gemma were fighting about the amount of time Clay was spending on the road. Tommy's anniversary was coming. I ended up spending a lot of time in Reno, away from here, trying to sort out my head and she ended up filling my bed most of the time I was away. I guess I got so drunk one night that I blacked out. The next morning I woke up and we were married. That was about 13 months ago."

I do some maths in my head, "Abel was 10 weeks premature when he was born 3 weeks ago, so she got pregnant after 7 months?"

Jax nods. "Yeah, and that time included the 6 weeks she spent in rehab 3 months after we got married. Right from the start I told her I didn't want kids, I wasn't ready for them. I wasn't ready for marriage either. I was cheating on her before the week was out, but she was determined that she wanted it to work."

"Any you just let her walk over you? That's not the Jax I knew." I don't know why this stuns me, Jax has always had a thing for damsels in distress, and I guess Wendy figured out make it appear that that's what she was.

"I know, I was stupid. I didn't see any of it till it was too late. I didn't know she was using; I didn't know she was trying to get pregnant. Hell, I didn't even realise that she intentionally got me drunk so I'd black out. I'd mentioned it to her once that rum makes me black out. She obviously remembered it and found out how to make a drink with it that tasted like whiskey." I can hear his disappointment over his actions in his voice. It's plainly obvious to anyone who knows him and even after years I can still hear it.

"No other children, wives, gossip that I've missed?"

"No more kids, no wives full stop. Gossip. Hmm, well Opie wants more kids; Donna won't have a bar of it at the moment. She said she wouldn't consider it till the shit that followed Wendy died. Hopefully with Wendy dead so is the shit she brought with her. Gemma wants Clay to bring me as VP. I'm 23, I don't want that yet. Maybe in another 5 years I'd think about it."

I look over at Jax. He's 23, widowed with a sick son and his mother wants him to take on the added responsibility of VP of the Mother Charter. I think for a second that maybe the petrol fumes that are always round the garage have gone to her head.

"You're born and bred SOA, there are no thoughts in any of the member's heads that you won't end up at the head of the table, but you are right. 23 is way too young to take up that level of responsibility. Besides that Clay is doing great as President, and Piney is the most level headed VP for Clay's sometimes impulsiveness. I can't see any of them voting you into that role yet."

Jax nods, I know my words haven't offended him. He's voicing it to me cause I seem like an outsider at the moment due to the extended absence from the club, but knowing that I know the basic ins and outs of the club helps me form an opinion Jax values. Apparently even with our long separation he still respects my thoughts.

"You said about shit Wendy brought with her, what'd she do?" I ask, the fact that it's stopped my best friend from filling her house with kids makes me mad at Wendy, and quietly glad she's dead, that way I don't have to kick her ass.

"The drug problem, she kept suggesting Darby cook in Charming wasn't a bad thing, and that as long as he sold out of Charming what was the harm in it. She never understood that cooking here would lead to selling here. But I guess she wanted that, it would have meant no more trips to the middle of nowhere to meet up with whatever dealer she was seeing that week."

The relief that she's dead is a bit more intents now. "You really picked one didn't you?"

He signs and nods, "Yeah, apparently I have great taste. A drug fucked whore and a doctor who was playing games with my heart and my son's life."

Right, I decide, this conversation has gotten too serious now, the dark feeling on me since talking about Craig had started to lessen a bit, but the thought of Jax and his women issues depresses me.

"Any more goss?" I prod him in the side. "No dark secrets I should know about?"

"Secrets, well I have lots of those, none of which I can tell you without having to torture you."