Miguel tapped his pencil against the notebook laid out on his desk in front of him, on beat with the music blaring through his earphones. The assigned pages in Trigonometry seemed so insignificant with the All-Valley Tournament right over the horizon, but he'd worked so hard to get caught up on missing almost half his junior year's schoolwork, Miguel wasn't about to let it slip again.
He was so focused on his music and slogging through the last few math problems, he hadn't even noticed his mother had been standing at the door to his bedroom calling for his attention until she was next to him at his desk and shaking his shoulder. "Oh, hey, Mom," he greeted, pulling his earphones off.
"I was saying, there's still leftover encebollado for dinner later," said Carmen, "and Ya-Ya can fry you up some plantains as well. We need to use them or freeze them soon."
Miguel nodded, running a hand through his hair before scratching the back of his head, only half paying attention to the food-talk. "Okay, sounds good. You get called to the hospital again?"
His mom shook her head. "No, but I'm going out here soon." Looking down at the opened textbook on his desk, she asked, "What are you up to?"
"Just finishing my homework," answered Miguel, glancing at the trig equation he'd been working on in his notebook. Only three more and he'd be done. "And then I'm gonna bike over to Hawk's house for a while after dinner."
Carmen smiled at that news. "How's he doing?"
"Better, I think," answered Miguel. It felt more like a guess. After all, he would've been hard-pressed to say when he'd started feeling better once he came home from the hospital, much less when others were able to pick up on it accurately. "He's coming back to school tomorrow and he's been letting Sensei pick him up for practice."
During the lessons that week, Hawk had watched and participated where he could. He was astute and observant, noticing things even Miguel sometimes didn't. It was like he had the eyes of, well, a hawk. He seemed to especially enjoy giving his commentary whenever one of the guys flubbed a move.
But Miguel also knew that wasn't what he really wanted to be doing. He knew Hawk was itching to be practicing alongside them, honing his skills in the final weeks leading up to the Tournament. This was simply making the best of a bad situation. Although that was much better than the alternative of letting the situation swallow him into a chasm of depression and giving up.
Leaning against his desk, Carmen crossed her arms over her chest. "Speaking of your Sensei," she said, "I thought I should go ahead and tell you that he will be coming with me when I leave shortly. We're going out together to talk."
That yanked Miguel out of his thoughts about Hawk and practice. And it was only then that he paid actual attention to how his mother was currently dressed. She was wearing a pair of dress pants and a flowery blouse, and she had her makeup done. She certainly didn't look like she was going out to run errands that evening. Or to only talk.
"Wait, you're going out on a date?" asked Miguel, setting his pencil down, brows pinching to the bridge of his nose. Was his mom giving Sensei a second chance?
"No," Carmen insisted with another shake of her head. "It's not a date."
Miguel almost snorted. "Yeah, heard that one before," he muttered under his breath.
His mother gave him a look. "We're going out for dinner, but it's only to talk, that's all. Just as friends. We figured we would catch up with each other about work and your karate, among other things. In fact, I wanted to talk to him about doing something about the pressure you and your friends have been under, lately. It feels like he and Mr. LaRusso have forgotten this Tournament is not the end of the world."
Brushing aside his mother's concerns like he hadn't even heard them, Miguel asked, "So you're having dinner together, but just as friends?"
"We both decided to get to know each other a little better first this time around," explained Carmen.
"A little better before what?" stressed Miguel, rolling the pencil between his thumbs and forefingers, almost apprehensive of what the answer might be.
"Before we see where we go from there," Carmen answered carefully.
His mouth twitched at that vague response. "Does that mean you've forgiven Sensei?"
His mother pressed her lips together for a long moment, like she was thinking hard about how to answer that question. "It means I'm willing to get to know him first as a friend," was her response, using that insistent word again. Friend. Running a hand up his arm, she asked him, "Are you still upset over what happened?"
Miguel rolled his shoulders. "A little, yeah."
"I told you, I didn't want this to interfere with your karate, or cause a division between you," his mother reminded him, rubbing his shoulder.
"I know," said Miguel. He remembered his mom telling him she didn't want this to come between him and Sensei. But how could it not? He wished he didn't know the things he knew now. He wished he could go back to a time when Sensei Lawrence seemed like the coolest father figure ever.
But then Miguel had to remember, there was never a time when Sensei Lawrence had been perfect. Sensei's flaws had always been there, front and center: he drank a lot and didn't always take care of himself; sometimes he would cross mean-spirited lines with his students; he hadn't been a great dad to Robby. Miguel had been forced to confront the fact more than once that his Sensei wasn't a perfect man.
He could live with his Sensei being imperfect, but he didn't want to see him upset his mother again. What if his mother and Sensei decided they wanted to be more than friends? What if they tried making romance work once more? And what if Sensei hurt his mother a second time? Miguel wondered if he had it in himself to forgive Sensei Lawrence for another transgression like that.
He didn't think he did.
And then Miguel wondered, had that figured into why he hadn't brought up the topic of coming out to Sensei Lawrence in the past several weeks? Sure, the subject had fallen by the wayside as Hawk had his hands full with plenty of other problems since his fight, but being honest with himself, Miguel had been glad to not have to bring it up again, yet. It allowed him to avoid asking himself what he would do if telling Sensei ended up going badly.
When he'd first brought up the subject to Hawk, Miguel didn't think he had anything to worry about with telling Sensei Lawrence. Sure, he suspected he'd have to explain a few things, he knew Sensei was from a different time. But Sensei was also a man who'd shown he was willing to learn.
But now? Miguel was actually worried. Because what if Hawk was right? What if Sensei didn't understand?
Maybe that was unfair of him to think Sensei Lawrence couldn't learn. Last month, he would have argued with himself now that he needed to give Sensei a chance. And intellectually, he knew Sensei would be there for him, as he always had been.
But Sensei Lawrence had also shown a flippant disregard for his mother's feelings when he went on a date with his old crush Ali. Would he show that same flippancy again when confronted with something like this? And what if he was fine with him being bi, but didn't like his choice in a partner? He had to call Sensei out on not visiting Hawk after the fight. And, looking back on it after that, Sensei Lawrence was perhaps more unfair to Hawk than he'd been willing to acknowledge.
Miguel's gut clenched. He didn't want Sensei Lawrence disappointing him like that again. He didn't want to be put in a position where he'd never be able to forgive Sensei.
He wished he never had to ask his mother the question that came out of him now. "Mom, do you trust Sensei?"
His mother let out a soft sigh, biting her bottom lip just for a quick second before giving him a reserved smile. "I'm willing to give him the opportunity to earn his trust back."
All Miguel could do was nod. After all, this was his mother's choice. He'd have to make his own choice later. "Okay. I hope he does."
Carmen nodded back. "So do I."
"Is this gonna be what our dates are limited to for a while?" asked Eli. He guessed he didn't do a good job masking the sadness in his question behind the smirk on his face.
Putting his hand on Eli's good knee, Miguel tried assuring him, "Hey, this isn't that bad. After all, you guys got a sweet big screen." For emphasis, he gestured to the television they were watching.
Eli shifted on the couch where they were sitting in his living room. It was hard to get comfortable, even with his bad leg stretched out on the couch's recliner. "Yeah, but wouldn't it be way more fun to go out riding right now instead of sitting here all night?" he retorted.
It didn't help his wanderlust that Mitch had posted pics on his Instagram of his most recent joyride on his motorcycle, tagging Eli that the Eagle Fangs should all go cruising together once he got his brace off. Mitch had even joked that he should get a side-car added to his bike so it'd be safer for Bert to ride, instead of hoping their friend didn't fall off as they raced up the highway.
That sounded like it'd be a blast. Once he got his brace off. But that day felt like it would never come. And as for now, Eli was convinced he was going to lose his mind from cabin fever. When he wasn't at practice, he was at home. To think there was ever a time he preferred to spend most of his time at home.
He wanted to take Miguel out on a joyride of their own, but his motorcycle was going to be left parked in the garage for at least another month. He wanted to go hang out at the beach, but there was no way he could manage his crutches on the sand. Miguel didn't have his own car. And Eli imagined vividly how embarrassing it would be to rely on his parents to drive them on their dates. So he was stuck in his house.
"We can still have fun hanging in," said Miguel, showing his teeth behind his smile. To prove his point, the hand he'd laid on Eli's knee inched up his thigh.
Even as he felt his face heat up, Eli chuckled under his breath, pushing Miguel's hand away. "Heh, thanks, but I'm not starting the engine if I can't take it out for a drive. Besides, it's weird with the leg brace on. And, y'know…." He made a vague gesture to the black hat he was wearing.
Miguel's smile ebbed some.
And before he could give Miguel time to think of something to say, Eli asked him, "The teachers probably aren't gonna let me wear my hat inside the school tomorrow, huh?" He never understood that stupid rule. If anything, his cap would be less distracting to others compared to his liberty spikes. But then, that had been the point. He'd been distracting in a good way when he'd had them.
Miguel offered him a little laugh of his own, likely to help ease the tension than there being anything funny about the situation. "Probably not."
He thought not. And part of Eli dreaded the idea of showing up to his classes the next day with his hair looking like it currently did. And he knew that dread was more dramatic than was warranted. And even Miguel wouldn't understand. Perhaps Miguel even thought he was just being prissy, like Sensei Lawrence had.
With a frustrated sigh, Eli pulled his hat off. Running his fingers through his hair to feel for himself that it had started growing back, he couldn't shake the sensation that it still didn't feel like his hair.
Eli remembered what he saw whenever he looked in the bathroom mirror. The black dye at the roots and sides had long since faded, bringing back the familiar mousy brown of his natural hair. There was no bold color to it any longer. And even though it had started regrowing, it was a ways off from being long enough to style back into a proper mohawk.
"Are you gonna re-dye it?" asked Miguel.
Maybe Miguel could see what he saw, without it being pointed out to him.
"What's the point?" Eli countered. He hadn't bothered maintaining it since the incident. Once or twice he'd stared at the various containers of Manic Panic sitting on his bathroom counter and considered it, but if his hair wasn't long enough to style into a mohawk, then what did it matter anymore, he figured?
Miguel countered his question back. "Well, you enjoy it, don't you?"
Eli stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah."
"Then don't let Cobra Kai take that from you, too."
Miguel had a point. Cobra Kai had already taken his last under-eighteen All-Valley Tournament away from him. But this? This could still be his, if he let it.
"I guess it's pretty much the only thing I can do for now, huh?" asked Eli, eyes moving to linger on the brace secured around his leg. "Since I won't be fighting anytime soon."
Given the choice between his hairstyle and participating in the All-Valley, Eli couldn't be sure which he would choose to have. He'd wanted so badly to have the final laugh against Sensei Kreese, to prove to him what he'd lost when he'd betrayed his students once Eagle Fang took down his poisoned version of Cobra Kai.
He'd hoped to take down Robby himself, so Miguel wouldn't have to. So he could finally give Miguel closure. Then it would've been the two of them fighting for the championship.
Miguel playfully punched him on his shoulder. "What about when you helped Mitch yesterday perfect his hook-kick-grab? You were the one who saw he wasn't shifting his weight hard enough, all from the sidelines. Didn't you see his face when he threw Demetri to the ground with it? And now Bert's practically begging you to help him learn the windmill kick. Don't get me wrong, I know it sucks feeling like you're stuck on the sidelines and can't get hands-on. I get it, trust me. But the other guys have really started looking up to you, y'know."
"It's kinda weird," Eli admitted. "You've always been the better leader," He'd tried leading Cobra Kai in Miguel's absence, but even though he'd wanted to be every bit the leader Miguel was, he didn't have it in him.
"Well, sometimes being the leader kind of sucks though," laughed Miguel. "You can share some of that if you want."
He didn't really need Miguel to elaborate on that. He was feeling those effects himself from his own short stint as leader. He carried the responsibility of leading the revenge-quest against Miyagi-Do, and maybe he always would. He hoped Miguel knew, though, that so far he hadn't led any of them in Eagle Fang astray.
"But everyone trusts you," Eli told him. "I mean, we all know you're not gonna do anything stupid. But the guys, they were mostly just scared of me when I was top dog. Which, heh, I guess I wanted them to be."
The other guys flocked to Miguel back when he was in Cobra Kai. They flocked to him now. And why wouldn't they? Miguel carried himself with such effortless confidence, he probably bled charisma and charm. Hawk had tried emulating all that, but it never came naturally to him as it seemed to with Miguel. So rather than relying on the sort of confidence that didn't require others' approval to get the other guys to like him, he'd turned to aggression and lorded over them instead. And of course, the result wasn't the same.
Miguel asked, "Yeah, but you don't want them to be afraid of you anymore, do you?"
Eli shook his head. "No. But can I be real with you?"
"Always, man," answered Miguel.
"I've been thinking a lot…." Eli hesitated, his tongue thickening in his mouth. Fidgeting with his hands in his lap, he thought about dropping it. But he valued Miguel's opinion more than anyone else's. He needed to hear it now. "Do you think it's good if I go back to being Hawk?"
He watched Miguel's eyebrows furrow, the way it drew a crease up his forehead. "What do you mean? You are Hawk."
Eli had forgotten that Miguel didn't make that clear distinction between his old self and the Hawk the way others did, the way he did. "I mean, do you think I should just give it up? Maybe this happened for a reason, y'know, after everything I did. Do you think I put too much into it? The other guys probably thought I was some kind of out-of-control blood-thirsty nutcase or something. What if I did like fighting too much? What if I really just love beating people up? And if I go back to being the Hawk, do you think I'll go back to being an asshole, too?"
Once his kneecap was healed, what was to stop him from letting his anger take control again? What was stopping him from releasing his rage on one of his friends like he did Brucks? At least if he remained as he was, there was no danger of that happening, right? Even if he wanted to go back to being Hawk, wasn't it better for everyone if he gave it up?
Miguel's face had pinched in confusion while he had rambled, then settled into a determined countenance at the end of it. "If we're being real, let me ask you something. If you could go back and get a do-over, would you finish Tory off before she busted your knee? Would you have put her in the hospital instead? Tell me, honestly."
Looking back down at the brace on his leg again, Eli thought over it for a moment. "I dunno," he muttered with a shrug. Then, more concretely, he said, "I mean, I hate that I can't fight in the Tournament with you now. But Tory was one of us. I didn't want to hurt her any more than I'd want to hurt the other guys now. I don't want to do to any of them what I did to Demetri. It's the whole reason I left Cobra Kai."
"And that's what your gut told you, isn't it?" asked Miguel. When Eli nodded, he said, "I already told you there were days when I wish I'd broken Robby's arm. But I know, deep down, I did the right thing in letting him go." Miguel paused for a second, his face looking momentarily pained, like he been pricked by something. "I think maybe that's the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn. You can do the right thing and still lose. But Sensei's been teaching us about honor and mercy, and you don't do the right thing because you expect to win. You do the right thing because it's right. And it sounds like you've been picking up on that just fine."
"Yeah?" Eli soaked in everything he was hearing.
Miguel gave him a wide grin again. "You really can't see how much you've improved since coming to Eagle Fang, can you?"
Eli returned his grin with a small smile of his own. "I guess no more than you can see for yourself that you're back to being a total badass."
Shifting closer to him on the couch, Miguel laid a hand on his arm. "I knew you'd find yourself again once you got away from Kreese. Now everyone else has finally been able to get to know you. And there's still nobody else I'd rather have with me in a fight than you."
Hearing Miguel say that lifted his spirits more than he could have imagined. And he tried to look at himself the way Miguel saw him. No distinct line between Eli and Hawk. If there was no clear line, there was no fear in crossing it. Eli had got off on the fighting as much as Hawk, and Hawk had wanted to atone for his mistakes as much as Eli. And Miguel had never seen the difference. He'd always seen only him.
Looking at Miguel's face, Hawk's smile brightened more. "And it's not just in a fight you want the Hawk by your side, is it?"
Raising the hand on his arm to cup his jaw, Miguel answered his question by drawing him in and kissing him. It was their first kiss since the fight, and Hawk was worried he'd be treated too timidly after everything that had happened. But given the invitation, Miguel pressed himself closer against him, wrapping his other hand over his shoulder to kiss him harder. Hawk returned the embrace, winding an arm around his back, returning the kiss with another after a moment's breath.
When they broke, Hawk said, "I guess you were right. Hanging in tonight hasn't been so bad."
"And Ya-Ya's not expecting me back until ten," Miguel commented, a suggestive curl to his grin now.
Hawk chuckled. Licking his bottom lip, he brought his hand back up to run through his hair again. Even with his face warm and still catching his breath, he tried concentrating on its regrowth, on the feeling of the longer strands that had grown on top. It was his. He could do with it what he wanted again. "You wanna help me dye it?" he asked suddenly.
Miguel's eyebrows rose on his forehead. "You trust me to bleach your hair?"
Hawk made a face. "It's not that hard, man."
"Alright, yeah," answered Miguel, sitting up straight. A gleam had come over his brown eyes. "Yeah, let's do it! What color are you gonna dye it?"
Reaching for his crutches, Hawk laughed. "I dunno. Let's find out."