Warning: Violence, blood and death
Namida 涙
(Tears)
Japan, 1864
Ugetsu felt something warm fall from his face. Water. Just like the one that was falling from the sky at that moment. But unlike the rain, the one draining from his cheeks burned. At least, he felt it that way. It burned, and it left its fiery trail not only on his face but in all the way from his heart.
His heart. That was what made him suffer. It hurt as if someone had run him through with a sword. He felt an enormous weight that prevented him from breathing, that prevented him from moving, that prevented him from being able to speak.
Ugetsu tightened his grip on the flute that was now in his hand, and in the middle of the rain, he cried out.
Before the fire had started, Ugetsu had spoken to his father.
"When you go out, be on your guard. There are strange rumors going around lately." He had said with a slight frown, which made Ugetsu feel a certain nervousness run through him. Asari Yoshio was not someone easy to impress. "They're most likely meaningless hearsay, but it doesn't take away the fact that they're being far too frequent. They have to do with the new weapons that are starting to be used, those firearms."
Guns, rifles, bombs. Gradually their presence was becoming more common, more typical to see.
"Some people swear they have seen them being used by certain individuals while these were surrounded by... Flames."
Weapons surrounded by flames, whose power increased even more, their usual range of destruction. Those were the strange rumors that circulated among the people, who were terrified by the idea.
It sounded like something fantastic, but in that era where everything seemed possible, one could expect anything.
Ugetsu sighed again. For some strange reason, that night, he felt a restlessness that bothered him. A constant, loud ringing in his ears made his head ache. His movements felt heavy. Even some of the natural moonlight bothered him, causing him to close his eyes for a few seconds.
Pressure. Worry.
Seeing his father without his usually impassive face had given him the feeling that something terrible was going to happen. His words would not leave his mind.
Unexpectedly, he caught the smell of smoke. As if something was burning.
Ugetsu opened his eyes. When he did, he could see how in the distance the night was illuminated by orange and yellow flashes that seemed to help lift a gray cloud to the skies.
It was...
"What is it?" he heard as someone nearby commented. "It looks like..."
Fire. And from the direction in which the smoke could be seen, it was close to...
'Are you sure, samurai-san?'
'I am. Please call me by my name.'
'So... Asari?' Shurui cocked his head. Then, a small smile broke out on his face. 'I like it.'
'It's Asari-san. Be more respectful, Shurui!'
Without thinking, he ran.
Ugetsu dodged an attack, and using the hilt of his sword, knocked his enemy out with a blow to the head. He ducked to deliver another attack, and in the same way, hit another assailant in the stomach.
Thugs. Mercenaries. They had started the fire, and they were spreading it. They were threatening people, breaking things. He didn't doubt that some were also taking advantage to steal. People were running through the streets. The smoke was beginning to cloud their vision, and the heat was hurting their lungs.
Behind him, Ugetsu could hear the footsteps of others of his companions who had also decided to go out to see what was going on.
'Why are you spending so much time with those kinds of people?'
'It is said that you even talk in a usual way with a merchant's daughter. What do you have in mind to do something like that?'
Ugetsu felt a pain in his chest that went down his body until it reached his stomach and created a knot there. Surely, he would be criticized for doing all that to see two people who were worthless in the eyes of others.
But they were worth too much to him. For that, he was willing to take any punishment.
After knocking another enemy unconscious, Ugetsu took a breath to calm himself and continued his way. His footsteps led him near a home he knew very well already.
There, he saw them.
Hotaru stood in front of Shurui, arms outstretched protectively, and gaze fierce. Behind her, Shurui was on his knees, clutching his right arm tightly, through which his torn clothes could be seen a trickle of blood running. There was a man with his sword drawn; his face showed displeasure.
Ugetsu could see the tension in the muscles of that stranger, ready to move at any instant; the security with which he gripped his weapon, the quality of his clothes, how from his waist hung a Wakizashi(1), which could only mean one thing:
He was a samurai.
What was a samurai from another clan doing amid this chaos?
Feeling a strong worry run through him, Ugetsu ran towards them. However, several men stood in his way, each with drawn swords and crooked grins.
"Leaving so soon, samurai-san?" one spoke to him. "Please stay with us a little longer."
"You dare to talk to me like that?"
"It's not as if you deserve respect," the girl replied. "Not when you have come here expecting to take everything and leave us with nothing. Not when you are hurting our people in this way!"
He entered their home without asking permission, demanding money without committing to pay it (after all, what did it matter to them, mere merchants, what he would spend the money on? It would undoubtedly be a better reason than theirs, who were only looking out for their interests, he had said). And when Hotaru's father had refused to give him anything, that man had drawn his sword and threatened them.
Hotaru had never been so relieved that her mother was not around at that moment. She should be safe with the doctor nearby, not there, in the middle of the sword and the wall.
Her father had thrown a pitcher of water at the man while pulling her by the arm and forcing her to leave. Shurui had also thrown a piece of cloth behind them to delay the unwanted visitor a little longer and block his view for a few moments.
When they left the house, everything had already begun. The black of the night was illuminated by a great fire that was eating everything in its path. There were many more men in the streets with weapons, laughing, taking advantage of the situation. The screams of the people began to sound in a cacophony throughout the streets. Everyone was running in terror.
When that man came out behind them and asked for the money again, willing to spare them if they agreed, Hotaru understood:
The fire was also a kind of distraction so that no one would notice his presence. So no one could see that he was asking them for money, that he had gone with them.
The whole thing oozed such secrecy and contamination that she felt like vomiting.
Her father refused again, the man, with a look of resignation, attacked. At that moment, Shurui had stepped in the way of the attack and had taken the blow on his arm as he shouted at them to run.
She should have run away. At first, she had. But seeing how Shurui had been unable to move, she didn't hesitate to return amidst the worried cries of her father, who was being dragged in the opposite direction by one of his acquaintances who was also fleeing.
"Carrying two swords as if you really had honor," Hotaru reproached. "You should be ashamed of yourself."
"Again, don't you know respect?"
"I know it, and that's why I know you don't deserve it."
The man's scowl increased. Without hesitation, he swung his sword at her with clear murderous intent.
Seconds later, his eyes widened in surprise as his attack was repelled.
Hotaru fell backward, and Shurui caught her before she hit the ground. From her hand had flown a small sword, with which she had parried the blow of the man's katana.
She always kept a weapon in her clothes in case something like this happened. Her father, concerned for her safety, especially in the times they lived in, had taught her how to use it.
Hotaru opened her eyes in fear when she saw how that guy moved again to attack them. Shurui hugged her to protect her from the blow, just as she had covered him.
At that moment, the sound of metal against metal was heard.
The attack was again parried, this time, by a firm katana. The resistance opposed to the blow was such that the swordsman backed up a little for the forces' reaction.
"Asari!" Shurui exclaimed.
Ugetsu had parried the attack with his sword. He was allowed to unsheathe it at times like that.
"Asari?" the man looked at Ugetsu curiously. "Ah, so it is you. That talented young man everyone has been talking about. With unmatched skill, so they say."
"You are neither a ronin nor a mercenary," Ugetsu said. "What territory are you from? What are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry I can't answer that," he replied. Denying that he was a samurai in front of another made no sense. "For now, our daimyo(2) is being cautious in that regard."
Ugetsu narrowed his gaze.
"Shimizu-dono," he called her, "Take Sato-dono and-"
"Oh, no. I won't let the girl go. She still hasn't paid for the discourtesy she had in speaking to me like that."
Hotaru swallowed and unconsciously clenched her clothes tightly. Although she was afraid, she also felt anger.
"You're the one who has no courtesy!" she shouted at him while standing up. "Asari-san, it's him who's commanding the thugs! It's him who-!"
The girl let out a small scream as she retreated a few steps. Without batting an eye, the man had once again directed an attack towards her, which was stopped again by Ugetsu.
"Why do you keep getting in the way?"
"Attacking someone who can't defend themselves is an abuse," Ugetsu replied.
"And to let someone talk to me that way, is not defending my honor. It's a lack of respect, and I have the right to remedy it."
"Where is this honor you speak of if you are using someone else to fight your battles?"
The man gave a half-smile.
"It's a pity I ran into you at this time," he said. With his free hand, he reached for something in his clothes. "I would have loved to fight fairly with someone like you."
At that moment, Ugetsu was barely able to dodge the sudden shot, moving swiftly to the right. Hotaru and Shurui sank to the ground while holding their hands to their ears.
A gun.
Undeterred, the man lowered his sword. Then, he sighed and closed his eyes for a few moments.
Seconds later, the gun he held ended up surrounded by light yellow flames.
'Some people swear that they have seen how certain individuals used them while these were surrounded by... Flames.'
Weapons surrounded by flames.
It was true.
The man's eyes opened, and before Ugetsu could fully react again, he fired again. This time, the bullet came out at a higher velocity, so much so that Ugetsu couldn't dodge it entirely and ended up touching his face, leaving a cut on his skin.
And then another, and another, and another.
It was a flurry of gunfire that was hard to keep up with. What was going on? The bullets shouldn't be so fast. It was as if someone had given them more energy. As if he had activated them so that their speed would increase.
"Stop it!"
Shurui and Hotaru ran towards the man with all their might, crashing into him and throwing him into a burning house. A firearm changed the situation.
The wood sizzled. After a few seconds, that guy gnashed his teeth, looked at them angrily, and aimed at them. When he fired, he missed his targets as Ugetsu was faster and moved both, so the bullet didn't hit either of them.
"Shimizu-dono, Sato-dono!" he shouted. "Don't intervene, it's dangerous!"
"But-"
"Let us try to help you!" Hotaru said.
Ugetsu thought about it. It was dangerous, but he saw that they would not go away so easily.
He could not allow them to fight against that guy (against someone who, besides having a sword, also used a gun), but they could do something else.
"If you want to help, get the people as far away from here as you can," he asked them. "If they pass by a bullet can hit them."
The man stood up and walked out of the burning house, already collapsing, with a scowl on his face. Ugetsu tightened his grip on the handle of his sword.
"Be careful."
Both Hotaru and Shurui hesitated for a few moments but nodded. They turned and ran into the adjacent street, shouting warnings, guiding people to a safer place.
"Shall we continue, talented young man?" the man gave a half-smile. Ugetsu frowned.
"Why are you doing this? Attacking like this isn't-"
"Fair? It has no reason?" he completed. "It wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened. Sometimes we have too much pride in ourselves."
"It's not a justification."
"Ah, you still appreciate life. I envy you," for a few moments, his smile looked a little sadder. "Maybe things would be different if I had met you under different circumstances. It's a pity."
The man loaded the gun. Ugetsu took a deep breath, concentrated, and let his instincts speak for him.
When he fired again, Ugetsu ducked and ran, being very close to him in just seconds. The man's eyes widened in surprise; he aimed at him and fired. Ugetsu used his sword to block the bullet; the sound of metal against metal echoed. Without wasting time, he raised his katana in an unmistakable gesture of wanting to cut. The swordsman reacted by twisting. At that moment, Ugetsu used the sword's handle to give him a blow in the stomach, leaving his enemy without air, who fell to his knees. Taking advantage of the moments of weakness, Ugetsu kicked the gun, which the man quickly released, and then placed the sword's blade near his chest.
His enemy looked at him with a crooked smile.
"That move... You knew I would dodge the edge of the weapon," he said. His face showed anger. "And you used the handle in the real attack. Is this a game for you?"
"Why?" Ugetsu asked, "How is it possible? What kind of trick-"
"We must learn from the new techniques being used in the world; don't you think?" he replied. "Firearms are most useful in battles. And especially these ones, which one person is doing..."
One person?
Those special flame weapons came from one person?
"Talented young man," he said. "You should have shown no mercy. The world is full of injustice."
Before Ugetsu could say anything, a threatening presence right behind made him react. Without being able to afford even seconds, Ugetsu blocked with his sword another attack aimed at him.
The thugs who were still nearby and had not fled were gathering to attack him.
Taking advantage of the situation, the man stood up and ran, straight for his gun.
Noticing this, Ugetsu tried to follow him, but the thug again blocked his way; and before he could confront him, Ugetsu sensed another presence to his right. He dodged an attack, and at that moment, another person tried to attack him from behind.
Ugetsu half-turned to block, then, making a counterattack, he managed to send the other man's sword flying. He dodged to the left with another thrust, and with the handle of his katana, hit his opponent in the stomach, who fell to the ground. He turned to the right, already prepared to receive another attack, which he parried with his sword. The man looked at him with surprise and fear, which caused his strength to diminish, and Ugetsu took advantage of that moment to remove the sword from his hands with one movement and knock him unconscious with a blow to the neck.
Less than a minute had passed.
'Your skill is amazing. If you keep this up, there won't be anyone who doesn't envy your talent.'
He caught his breath, then turned back. Nearby, Hotaru and Shurui were finishing guiding the people who had fallen behind to the road that led towards the harbor, where the other people had gathered to flee the fire. Shurui had even turned to look at him and gave him a relieved smile.
Ugetsu sighed. That group he had just confronted must have been the last of the thugs around.
All that was left was...
He looked around. He couldn't see him.
That man. The leader of the mercenaries, the swordsman with the pistol. Where was he? He searched through the fire for the gun, but it was no longer where it had fallen, which meant-
At that moment, the world stopped.
Shurui's eyes widened in fear, and he dashed to get to his side. At the gesture, Ugetsu turned to the front, confused, watching as a shadow moved through the fire.
"Ugetsu!"
It was the first time he had said his name. The first time, amidst the sound of a gunshot that echoed throughout the place.
Ugetsu held his breath the instant he saw Shurui step in front of him, only to be followed by the thunderous sound of the gun. Shurui staggered, put a hand to his chest, and fell back. Reacting, Ugetsu caught him in his arms before he hit the ground. A red stain was beginning to spread across his clothes, and his heart was beating at a shockingly fast pace as if from one second to the next, it had entered a struggle to stay alive.
When he heard Hotaru's scream, something inside him broke.
Shurui was, Shurui was...
Another shot rang out. Ugetsu moved, still holding Shurui. There, he realized the trajectory of the bullet:
A few meters away, hidden among the remains of a burning house. It was that man. He looked at him with pity. He looked at him as if he knew he wouldn't be able to do anything, as if he-
He felt something burning inside him. A strange force squeezed his heart and made breathing difficult.
He couldn't remember at what moment, in the gentlest way he could, he had placed his friend in Hotaru's arms, who desperately brought her hands to his chest to stop the gushing blood. She was crying. That much he did remember.
He didn't remember how it was that he gripped his sword so tightly that his hands hurt.
He didn't remember at what moment he moved so fast towards his enemy, so much so that the man had opened his eyes wider in sheer terror. In a reflex act of defense, he shot at him. Ugetsu easily dodged it while, without hesitation, he swung his sword to attack.
The man used his katana to stop him, but Ugetsu had attacked with such force that he recoiled. He tried to give himself a few seconds to breathe, but that was not possible as he felt the teen's threatening presence again. He jumped back but didn't do it in time as he felt something tear his clothes and made a small cut on his chest. He tried to shoot, but Ugetsu was faster; the sword collided with the gun, causing him to drop it.
Ugetsu would have attacked again at that moment. He would have let himself be carried away by that almost wild feeling, but as he swung his sword, he noticed the crimson red glow on its blade.
It was blood, just like the blood on his hands. Blood that was not his own. Blood like that of-
'You are a kind person. And that's also why... That's also why you're suffering, isn't it? There's sadness in every note you play.'
Ugetsu paused.
'For someone so kind, it must be torture to have to hurt people.'
His hands were trembling, he discovered. And his chest...
'Let me help you. I'll carry some of that weight too.'
Had a bullet hit him too? Because it hurt, it hurt as if something was embedded in him.
"Then what they say is true."
Ugetsu turned to the front. The man's eyes were indecipherable.
"You are talented like no one else, but you don't want to kill," he sounded disappointed to a certain extent. "Maybe it's because they are putting too much responsibility and weight on you for your age?" then, he shook his head. "No, it's not just that. Even if they had done it when you were older, the result would be the same. It's your soul that won't let you do it."
'Why don't you just finish off the enemy? Are you really going to orge our lord to order you to do so?'
There were chains on him, Ugetsu thought. On his arms, on his hands. They were heavy and made it difficult for him to move. And he felt them whenever someone reminded him of that fact. He knew he must have ferocity. The coldness of a killer. But he...
"I'm afraid you know this won't end until you kill me, don't you?" the man said. "And you'd better do it soon. Your friend will be dead any minute now. And if I'm still alive by then, I'll kill the girl too."
Those were orders that the man had received, Ugetsu understood. Not to let anyone know who he was. Not to let anyone recognize him in the future. And it was also pride. To leave alive, to escape; he couldn't afford that. Either he lived, or he fell in battle.
The man gripped his sword tightly and ran towards him.
'Ugetsu!'
Ferocity. The coldness of an assassin.
Ugetsu didn't have them. He didn't want to have them. He couldn't kill someone without mercy. He could not murder in cold blood.
If death had to come, he preferred it to be a quiet one, one without pain.
Ugetsu forced himself to keep his eyes open, to hold his katana tightly.
He looked sad; the man noticed. Then, he saw the younger one move, saw a sudden flash of blue. And then...
A clean cut. Without delay, without possible pain.
With mercy. One he knew, he didn't deserve.
«"Firearms? That-"
"It's not a question, Kuwano. From now on we'll use them. Besides, these are special. They're more lethal. That man gave us the ones we have at a low price since they are prototypes, if we get the ones that are fully complete, they will be unparalleled," he tilted his head. "We will need money for that. Investigate the merchant families in the surrounding territories. Go to the one with the most money and ask them for it. We can't let them know who we are, so create a distraction. We can use mercenaries to create chaos if you need to."
Get money to buy firearms? Hire mercenaries?
"Excuse me," he spoke. "I beg your pardon. I cannot do that. Please choose someone else to-"
"I gave you no right to speak," his lord reproached him, and he fell silent instantly. "You are one of the few who could use those flames, and the most talented among them."
"But I-"
"The orders of the clan must be obeyed without question!" he shouted at him. Kuwano lowered his head in shame. "The very idea of refusing to comply is an offense! One more word and you will be expelled!"»
After using those tricks and behaving that way, Kuwano Sanosuke knew he had no right to die honorably. And yet, Asari was giving him that gift.
Before closing his eyes and letting himself be carried away by the calm of that blue flash, Kuwano whispered a name to Ugetsu. The name of the clan, as thanks for allowing him to be at peace.
And for him to be careful in the future.
"Akui."
Then he fell to the ground. At the same time, tiny drops of water began to fall from the sky.
When Ugetsu returned to their side, the sky had already filled with clouds that let a light rain fall, and the air brought with it a cold breeze.
"It hurts..." Shurui managed to say. His face reflected pain. His breathing was agitated. His voice was cracked. "It hurts, it's like something is burning inside me."
"It doesn't stop," Hotaru said desperately. It was the first time Ugetsu saw her like this. "No matter what I do, the bleeding won't stop. And he is suffering, I-"
She sobbed and looked down.
Ugetsu brought his hands to Shurui's chest, trying in vain to find the wound among so much blood, trying in vain to stop the bleeding.
A knot formed in his stomach when he did that.
Why, if everything felt so cold, was that red liquid so warm?
Because it was life itself, he thought. It was life slipping through his hands.
Shurui let out a whimper. The pain he felt was unbearable, and Ugetsu had never felt so helpless in his life, for no matter what he did, the blood would not stop, and Shurui suffered.
His throat closed. Ugetsu could not speak. An unknown force hit him in the stomach and made him feel a horrifying pressure there.
How was it possible that he was so useless? Peace. Calmness. If only Ugetsu could give him all that. If only he could give him the same calm that he gave him, if only-
Unbeknownst to him, subtle blue sparkles glowed in his hands. They flickered, grew.
They were like flames.
But he didn't see them. He didn't feel them. The only thing that crossed his mind in an endless echo was that he wanted to help Shurui, wanted to bring him calm, wanted him to stop crying in pain.
His will was the desire to, if nothing else, bring some tranquility to the person who gave the same to him.
At that, Shurui let out a small laugh.
"I always knew you were someone full of calm and kindness," he told him. "Thank you for giving it to me in my last moments."
Ugetsu opened his mouth to speak but could not say anything. The grip was still there, preventing him from even breathing. His vision was becoming blurry.
Why was he thanking him when he had done nothing? Why was Shurui thanking him if it had all been Ugetsu's fault for allowing him to be shot?
If it wasn't for him. If it wasn't for him...
"Hotaru..." Shurui whispered. "Forgive me. I won't be able to go to Kyoto with you."
"Don't talk nonsense! You'll be fine!" Although she tried to control her voice, it didn't work. She was desperate, and every word she said confirmed it. "You'll be fine. After this, together we'll go to Kyoto. Together we'll go to Kyoto and-"
Something choked in her throat. There were tears on her face. And her chest ached.
Shurui brought one of his hands towards the girl's face, wiping away her tears with what little strength he had left. Hotaru stifled a sob and took his hand in hers.
"Thank you for everything."
Ugetsu felt his chest compress. The pain prevented him from moving. It was like chains wrapped around his hands, around his arms; they traveled throughout his body and squeezed him tightly.
Then, he felt a small weight on his legs, and as he turned down, he swore his heart stopped beating for a few seconds.
Maybe that would have been for the best. Perhaps that would have been ideal.
After all, he already felt as if his whole soul was breaking at the mere sight of the flute Shurui had placed within his grasp.
He looked up. Shurui was so pale, and his warmth was fading. He could feel it.
"I'm glad I met you, Ugetsu."
He smiled.
To the end, he smiled.
"May this little gift help you when you feel lonely."
No, no. Please don't.
"Please be happy."
When he felt Shurui's heart stop beating, Ugetsu's hands trembled. His whole being trembled. Unable to process what was happening, he turned to look at him in fear.
His eyes were closed, but strangely Shurui looked calm as if he was sleeping. As if he was at peace. He even looked like he was smiling, as he always did, but now...
'I've never seen someone so talented. It's amazing.'
'When I'm with you, I feel calm.'
'Music is a way for us to release some of our feelings and soothe our soul. Don't you think so?'
Music. Why, if he had the flute so close, he couldn't hear it anymore? He could no longer perceive sounds; the melody of life had died out. It no longer existed. Now there was only noise. Now all he could hear was the rumbling of despair that threatened to break his soul into a thousand tiny pieces.
Ugetsu didn't react. The weight he felt, the force that drowned him, was so strong that he couldn't even notice how Hotaru cried and hugged Shurui. He couldn't notice how the rain fell from the sky and soaked them to the bone. He couldn't.
All he felt was a suffocating feeling. It was like a sea that embraced him and drowned him.
It was sadness.
It was loneliness.
The music of life was gone. The melody of happiness had vanished along with it.
The sky felt his emotions and cried with him. It cried for him. That was the rain.
Because he had lost someone.
Because he, too, had disappeared the beating of someone else's heart.
Because there was no turning back.
His throat ached. And at that moment, Ugetsu understood that it was because he was screaming.
(1) Wakizashi are short swords that only samurai could carry. A normal person could have a sword, but only samurai could carry short swords. They usually carried two: a long one (the katana) and a short one (the Wakizashi), this set was called Daisho. They could also use another shorter one called Tanto (which from what little can be seen of Ugetsu's swords, from the size, it seems to me that the three smaller ones were Tanto).
(2) Japan was divided into regions controlled by daimyo, figures like feudal lords in the West. Each daimyo controlled territory and had his samurai under his command.
Small disclaimer: Locating the first generation temporally was a challenge, as we have "modern" aspects (photographs is the best example) and others with an older appearance (such as Ugetsu's clothes, which look like those used during the Heian Era from 794 to 1185). I decided on the mid-19th century for certain aspects (origin of the mafia, everyday use of pocket watches, boxing rules created, inventions, etc.). In Japan's case, it was right in the middle of the 19th century that the asylum policy used by the Tokugawa Shogunate (which covered the Edo Period, from 1603 to 1868) came to an end, making possible aspects such as exchange with other nations. Also, it should be noted that with the Meiji Restoration (the event that ended the shogunate in 1868), the use of swords was banned, and the samurai class was abolished, so then for Ugetsu to be able to buy his swords (taking into account that it's most likely that he was a samurai by way of speaking and the use of a long sword with other short swords) and at the same time to leave the country to go with Giotto in a context where the mafia already existed and had just started, it had to be before 1870 but after 1860; that is, this period, which is consistent with other aspects of the first generation mentioned above. I am aware that Ugetsu's clothes are not from the Edo period or the Meiji Era, but it is more logical to place him in those times.
For the realization of this episode, I did the corresponding research and asked for advice. However, if you notice any mistakes, please let me know.