A month of planning for both sides later…
A stunned Mick traversed a hill littered with small green orbs all over the floor and weird star shapes in the weirdest places, as well as strange flowers and plants
"Aye… what in the heck's going on here…? I've never seen this place in my life…"
Arris kicked another one of the orbs out of her way. "This is Star Hill and I don't give a crap. Normally, I'd invade on someone else's wishes, but I'm purposely disobeying that Polo guy."
"What's up with him, eh? The only thing I REALLY don't like is how he constantly invades our privacy. Like, I was eating a burger and he just poked it with his oily fingers! Just because I didn't eat it with any honey mustard!"
Arris grunted. "And that's another thing, why do I get the feeling he's no different than the toad? I liked the toad! He was nicer than this dumpster fire we call a boss."
Mick scooped up one of the orbs on the floor and admired it.
"I wish I could fly." It emitted.
"Huh. Wonder who's wish THAT is." Mick mumbled as he threw aside the wish and picked up another one.
"I wish those NO GOOD scamps would listen to me, it's not like I've changed, I just look different!"
"Oh, it's that Polo dude…" Mick sighed, "What's the hate, eh? What if we have a family in debt and need it paid? We're paid bounty hunters, not gods."
"Screw that, fam, I just want my pay and I hate his guts."
Mick sighed again. "...alright."
Arris snatched the wish from Mick.
"Watch THIS!" She leaned in close to the wish, "I wish that..."
The wish pulsated for a second, then broadcasted Arris's command back in Polo's voice.
"Jackpot. Now, we put this one right HERE, on top of this weird hill looking thing and they will give the stupid man a new wish!"
"What DID you wish for, in his voice?"
"That he saw Bowser without a shell everytime he thought of us."
Mick held back a wheeze. "Make sure you text him over and over again, so that he sees it so many times…. He'll go blind."
They walked in silence for a few minutes before Arris broke the quietude.
"Were you being serious when you said we had families to help?"
"...uhh… Well-" Mick cut his sentence short to the amazeballs sight before their eyes.
"I guess that's where they keep the star rod?"
Mick picked up a smoke bomb. "Alright, the Star Sprites aren't nice to trespassers, so we're gonna steal the thing without getting caught."
Mick whirled to face Arris, who began rushing in seconds before Mick finished the sentence confederated to stealth and not rushing in. "Crap!"
Arris darted in and halted in her tracks. "You fraud sprites are-"
A single sign remained, one that read: "Gone on vacation, be back soon, leave packages on the porch."
"On vacation. So… we can just stroll up and take the peppermint rod? Easy money for us." Chuckled Mick as he nabbed the star rod off its podium. And then an alarm blared.
They found themselves running for dear life from weird, elastic monsters that took the form of hands and slid across the ground.
"We're getting paid extra for this mess!" Arris vented, loudly.
"Screw that, we're getting paid EARLY!" Mick added, over the chaos.
They stumbled through the portal and looked up at a narked Polo.
"Took you guys long enough- augh!"
"What?"
Polo rubbed his eyes. "I've had this horrible image stuck in my head for the past few minutes, what the heck?!"
·- ·-· · -·- - ··- ··-· · · ·-·· ·· -· -· ·· - -· - ·- -··- ·-· - ·-·· - ··-··
Simon blinked himself awake, rubbed his eyes, and rolled off the top bunk of the bed.
"whAT TH-" He exclaimed, "Why am I…"
Simon stood and gave a glance around the room. Luigi and 3 slept in that room.
3 flicked awake.
"L? You ok-..." She leaned up, speedily, "Wait a second… this isn't my bed… did I drink the bad berries again?"
Simon began running his hands across his face. Short hair… mustache… large nose…!
"Wait, so you're not 3?!" Simon internally panicked as his voice projected as an italian man's.
"NO! I'm Alph, everybody knows that!"
"Clearly not if you look like 3!"
"I look like 3?!" 'Alph' leaned up and banged 'his' head on the top bunk. "How am I so tall?! Was she always this tall?!"
Simon ran to the room door and swung it open and someone behind it hit the wall. "OUCH! Watch it, L!" Someone in Simon's body demanded.
"I'm not L! Where's the captain?!"
"I AM your captain and you just earned a pay dock and possibly a demotion!" He growled.
Simon stepped past the captain to run to the bathroom and get a look at himself in the mirror.
What was in that chicken I ate yesterday night...
"Guys, what the heck is wrong with me?!" Someone in Alph's body called.
"Get out of my body!" The actual Alph demanded.
"Why are YOU me?! Why am I so short?! I sound funny! I just wanted to eat breakfast-" 3's voice trailed into tears and she began to weep in the middle of the hallway.
Literally a second later…
Everyone gathered around the meeting table, quiet enough to hear the captain speak.
"So," He began, in a smooth tone, "we're in each other's bodies. As if THAT didn't suck, Alpha has gone missing and our bad guy's literally surfaced in the most open area ever. And we can't even fight him."
Luigi, stuck in the captain's body, raised his short arm.
"So… do we go in, or do we stay here and let someone else do this?"
"We're gonna hafta let someone else deal with this, because we can't."
Everyone stood in silence for a second.
Finally, someone broke the tranquility.
"So… what are we gonna do now?" 3 finally asked.
"I dunno."
"Eat."
"I can't do SQUAT like this, amica!"
"Call Alpha."
Alph went to pick up a cup of water and accidentally tossed it into the air, underestimating his own strength.
Meanwhile…
Amber slowly trudged through a barren wasteland.
"Why the hell am I stuck doing your dirty work, Michael?!" She complained.
"Your brother's the size of a thumbtack. Maybe you should reevaluate that complaint." Alpha responded, over the comms system.
"Maybe I should have left you in your office-"
"Hold that. He's nearby."
Amber huffed like an angry toddler.
"If you weren't shrunk enough to fit directly in my vest pocket, I would have more space to move without crushing you."
"That's why they're made durable. Besides, I'm FINE. Anyway, we can't always rely on my favorite guys to do everything."
"Then make another team do it!"
Alpha sighed. "Wish I could, but they're all still on Gamma cleanup."
"Then why DIDN'T you call in your favorites? I'm sure they wouldn't have minded taking care of this guy."
"They've been hit with the same thing I was hit with- someone's going ballistic with the star rod. And we need it back."
Amber ducked down.
"I think we found him," She whispered.
Footsteps neared her hiding spot.
Don't find me. Please. I don't wanna die.
"Hey, Mick! Catch up, he's leaving us behind!"
The footsteps trailed off.
Amber began to follow the person running away.
"What do you fancy they're doing?" Alpha thought out loud.
"Probably stealing something."
"Guys, here we are." A voice called.
"Who's that?" Alpha and Amber asked in unison.
"I found it. I finally found it!" The voice cheered, "That took WAY too long! Thank goodness for my expertise!"
"We exist." Several other voices growled.
"Yes, but I, ME, I found it. You guys tagged along. Anyway, those MVP scum shouldn't be after me anymore. And now, my friends, I introduce you to…"
Amber watched as the man and his group opened a compartment in the floor.
"My new project."
The man and the friends began descending down the stairs and the compartment slowly slid shut.
"Quick, get in there!" Alpha snapped.
"I can't do that without them catching me!"
"Then I will!"
Amber approached the closing door and slid the small Alpha into it.
"I'll try to open the door from inside. You just make sure nothing happens out here, alright?"
"Okay, just don't get stepped on."
"Pfft. Yeah right."
Amber sat down. "And now…" the door shut with a click. "We wait."
- ···· · ·· - - - ·-· - ·- ·-·· ·· - -·- -·· ·-· ·· ···- ·
3 sighed as she watched Alph attempt to punch the punching bag.
"That was the saddest punch I've ever seen."
"I'm no genius, but I think this is good enough."
"No. It's really not. You're gonna shatter my wrist if you keep punching like that."
Alph stopped.
"I'm starving. Didn't I just eat?"
"Same here. We ate a few minutes ago."
"I'm STARVING. How do you endure this mess for a whole day?!"
"I have a high pain tolerance."
"No," Simon(who sat across the room from them,) jeered, "you burned your hand on a pot and had a mental breakdown anytime someone used the burner."
"We don't talk about that here."
"Yeah, your actions said quite enough." Simon teased.
The captain strolled in, wearing Simon's hair in a bowl-cut mullet(look it up.)
"That is the ugliest thing I have ever seen," Simon declared, "you should have shaved me bald. I'd have enjoyed being bald over that stupid-looking mushroom cut."
"I think it's stylish, makes you look hot!" The captain giggled.
"If that's your definition of hot, I'm disgusted." 3 mumbled, "And I've never seen this hairstyle before."
"Anyway, besides this hot hairdo I gave you, I have decided we shall go out there ourselves and stop the vile villain from doing anything else."
Everyone in the room exchanged glances.
"So…" 3 began, "You want us to go out there and fight… like this?"
"Yup!"
"Buddy… I don't think you're using my brain the right way…" Simon groaned, barely audible.
"I heard that and we ARE going out there. Maybe you don't have to, but that will mean a paycheck dock."
"So?"
"For all of you."
Everyone jumped to their feet instantly.
Once everyone got their gear(or the-person-they-were-stuck-in's gear) they got in the ship.
"Okay, who's driving?" Simon asked, looking right at the captain.
"I have no idea! I took the toads class to drive ships, it can't be much different with human fingers!"
"Yes," Simon began, "but I took the human's class and am still human… maybe I should drive-"
"SIT DOWN. That is an order from your captain."
Everyone sat down.
"Good! Now, we set off."
- ·- - ·· ··· ·- ·-·· ·-·· ·· - - ·- -·- · ···
Amber screamed as a ship crashed right beside her.
"What in the?!"
The team piled out.
"3, I understand why you don't wear anything under your gear now, this is comfy!" Alph chirped.
"You don't WHAT?!" Simon snapped, "You DO know that it's literally in the MVP starter book, page 16, wear light clothing under your outfit?"
3 frowned. "What starter book?"
"You didn't read the starter book?"
"Clearly not!"
"Okay, because it also says how to use the MVP-grade microwave! You've been guessing how to use it this whole time?!"
"Okay, a microwave is a microwave, you press the button, it beeps, simple as that-"
"THE MICROWAVE HAS A SELF-DESTRUCT OPTION!"
Amber, watching them from a distance, startled Simon as he turned.
"AIIIEEEEE-!'"
"Oh. It's you again." The captain mumbled.
"Hi!"
The captain strutted over to Amber, a sly smirk on his face.
"So…" He began conversing smoothly.
"What's he doing…" Simon breathed, as he watched the captain use his body.
"I think he's flirting." Alph guessed.
"That doesn't seem very far off, he's just asking if she's free later." L pointed out.
"He's gonna ask her out. But that means YOU'RE gonna have to show up." 3 began, "And the last date you had, you accidentally-"
"Hit on the waitress in front of the girl, I KNOW. But why ME? WHY HER?" Simon inquired.
"Maybe she likes you too?" Alph speculated.
"Oh. He… did he just…" L began to laugh, "Have you seen his flirty side? DANG! She's going out with you, no way she's not."
"What, what'd he say?!" Everyone demanded.
"Something real slick. I mean… I don't think she's bright enough to catch on that he's not YOU, but… I need to hear the captain speak to ME like that."
"Ew." 3 groaned, "That's weird."
"Not as weird as you'd think."
The captain strolled back over to the team.
"I guess you guys know what I just did?"
Everyone nodded except for 3.
"Okay. Because if we blow our covers it's a done deal for Simon's date."
"Got it." 3 noted, "Time for Operation: Blow My Cover Instantly."
"Ye- NO!" The captain stopped 3. "Listen, Simon, you're like the butt of every joke we ever make. Am I right?"
"No-"
"Yes, you are. Accept that. Anyway, I thought I could redeem your respect by getting you a date! With Alpha's sister too, so you're getting on good terms with HIM! And then we get raises! Everybody wins!"
"What does that have to do with our guy? Doesn't he have the star rod?" L wondered.
"Alpha's gonna open the door from inside."
They sat down.
"So… when's the date?"
"She's gonna tell me… or you, I should say."
"Fun. I get to date Alpha's sister." Simon sighed, "And pray extra hard that I don't screw it over."
"Don't worry, Simon! There's a high probability you're gonna screw-"
Alph cut 3's sentence short. "He's NOT gonna screw it up, 3!"
"Screw what up?" Amber sat down beside the captain.
Everyone frantically searched for a lie.
"Uh- Alph has a- a baking competition later today! A-and he's very nervous!" Alph claimed.
"...okay…"
"S-say, where's Alpha?" The captain excused.
"He's still ins-"
The trap door slid open with a click.
Amber skipped over to the trap door.
"Mikey's opened the door! Come on, team!"
Literally a second later…
"Did you guys hear something?" Polo mumbled.
"Nope."
"Nah."
"Huh… thought I heard something."
A shrunken Alpha sat in front of the door lever.
"What a bunch of idiots…" He grumbled.
"Is anyone there?" He began, into the comms.
"Mike, you there?"
"Third room to the right."
"Oh. Thanks."
A few seconds of waiting later, Alpha watched the crew burst through the door.
Amber scooped the small Alpha up and sat him in her vest pocket.
"What's this?" Someone called, happily.
They stood in the middle of a large, empty room.
"haHA! I caught you suckers in my trap!" Polo strutted in.
"Uhh…" L counted the odds as the other two bounty hunters jogged in. "there's three of you. Not counting the mushroom. And five of us, buddy."
"And?"
"...you're outnumbered."
"Your point?"
"You…"
Everyone stood there for a second.
"C… can I just give you all the secret now?" Polo stuttered, "I mean… I'll inevitably win, s-so it's really n-no problem!"
"What secret?"
"Billy never died, you wanna know why?"
Everyone leaned in.
"Because I AM Billy!" He cheered, "I never died, it was all a trick! It's called soul transfer, geniuses!"
Nobody stirred.
"...Where's the surprised faces, the "woah" and the "oh no!", am I that boring?"
"Yes." L had the gall to peep.
"That was rhetorical, I thought you were smarter than that."
Billy drew two mechanical arms.
"Now, I suppose you came for THIS!" He whipped out the star rod, spun it, and the bounty hunters behind him vanished.
"So. I know that Mr. Michael Epsilon's in your jacket pocket listening to me, I'd like to show my proposal."
"Who the heck is Michael?" 3 whispered.
"Your superior. And he says you need to give that back before we break your spine."
Billy chortled. "I need one thing first. You see, the team is complaining that they're missing a member, so I've gotta fill their needs, you know? Give me the girl and nobody gets hurt!"
"What?" Amber paused. "Well… uhh… she's escaped already, so I don't think that'll be a problem."
"Oh. Man, I thought that we would have to scrap for it, but that was easy… uhh… just take it. Get it over with, you win, bravo, congrats."
Billy chucked the star rod across the room and it slid across the floor.
"I didn't even need it anyway. I just wanted to piss you guys off by switching your bodies around and shrinking your superior. Meh. You win, this time, MVP scum."
Amber picked up the rod.
"Wait, you switched their bodies?"
"Yup."
"Well it didn't work!" L declared, trying to act like the captain, "Your stupid trick only gave me a headache!"
"That's not possible, Mr." Billy cracked a smile, "I'll be back, MVP scum… Just you wait!"
·-· ·-· ·- ·· ··· · ·- · ··· ··- ···
Shallows skipped through a town. He bounced with a strange, joyous feeling.
He leaned down and gave an inhabitant eye contact.
"H-help me!" the man cried as he attempted to pry rubble off his body.
Shallows skipped past the man and paused when someone grabbed his leg.
"P-please… help me!"
The person's leg bled as a sharp piece of rubble rooted it into the ground.
Shallows bent down and tore the shard out, ignoring pained screams for help.
Finally, he stopped skipping.
The smell of ash seeped through his mask.
He turned and saw a smaller figure behind him.
"So YOU'RE the one I've been hearing about all this time, eh? All this, you did this?"
Shallows nodded, slowly.
"Impressive." The figure breathed, sticking his hand out. "We fight for the same cause. MVPs turned to ash and dust. So join my side."
Shallows shook the figure's hand and began to follow him, ignoring the deceased that lay around.
I would like to thank my Nintendo tolerance for failing me halfway through this chapter, you are the coolest dude.
I would also like to thank my head for aching like hell. Very smooth.
Just a thought... Should I create an MVPs subreddit?
Have a great day/evening/night/early morning!