Chapter Twenty Eight:
He felt the moment she returned to Konoha like a shock to his heart.
Finally, 2 weeks after he left her out there, he could breathe again.
Every moment was agony. From the moment the cherry blossom hit the floor of his apartment, to the way he dropped his hitai-ate over his sharingan and realised that she was not wearing hers. To his panicked re-packing of supplies, to the body flicker into Konoha's hospital supply store and shoving worst-case scenario tools of the trade into the pockets on his vest (whilst ignoring the nursing students who were sucking on each other's tongue next to the gauze). Were- because they freaked out massively for seeing him in the hospital and not being half dead.
It didn't faze him, he was breaking the 5 element chakra lock on the Hokage's windows within minutes of Sakura leaving.
"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune burst through the office doors.
"Shizune, I have literally just walked in, I am not re-" Tsunade was wearing her usual 'hangover' disarray in her robe and hairstyle. By all expressions, she was expecting Shizune to be holding a hangover cure, Shizune was not.
"Sakura's gone." A report was slammed on her desk by Shizune. "Without Kakashi." Shizune continued. The confused frown gave away the thoughts, and blood-alcohol level, of the Hokage. "S-class. She picked it up about 10 minutes ago. The gate just confirmed she's gone alone."
"And?"
"It's barely a year since it happened. She hasn't been out without Kakashi since then. This doesn't ring alarm bells."
And the bells did start ringing. A circle of expletives launched from Tsunade's tongue.
She heavily sank into the chair. The understanding was clear, her apprentice was going out to get herself killed.
The Hokage dropped all of her strength, her head hung.
"Send someone to bring her back." Tsunade quietly instructed.
"And put what? S-class mission to retrieve a suicidal nin. The elders won't have that on the board."
"Then something else." Frustration boiled under the skin of the Hokage, making her short in responses, angry with the shackles of her position.
"To retrieve one of our own against their will? Would you have me make her a criminal?"
There was a pause where both women considered how far they would tarnish Sakura's reputation.
If they recalled her and saved her life, they couldn't without putting a black mark on her record. But, if they did nothing and she died, she would die a hero…
Their hands were tied.
"We need someone off the books." Tsunade could only suggest. "Bring me Kakashi."
"Tsunade… he's not in a fit state." Shizune sadly offered. "Sakura told us herself, he could barely stand at the gates. His eye was too damaged bringing our guest back."
"Hn." The Hokage's displeasure was clear in the syllable.
"Sakura's gone." Both women turned their head to the window. The window that had been impossibly opened from the outside without making a noise and letting a fully dressed ANBU agent Kakashi into her office.
"You should be on bed rest." Shizune fussed over him, but he waved her off, addressing the Hokage direct.
"Requesting permission to bring her back."
"Gran-"
"Tsunade-sama, we have questions to answer for whatever decision you make here." Shizune reminded her firmly. The elders would want to know why the mission was aborted. Why two had been sent on the same mission apart from each other. Why neither had been successful.
"Fine." Tsunade took a quick exhale, standing to her feet and walking on shaky legs around the desk to the ANBU before her. The warrior. The loyalist. The die hard. The legendary copy nin. "Follow her. Don't let her know. Don't interfere unless her life is under threat. Even if that is by herself."
There was a heavy silence in the room. "I can't put this on the books."
"Unnecessary, I understand I have leave to use for free-travel. I'll be requesting that now."
"Granted." Tsunade nodded firmly. "Shizune, start the paperwork for Hatake's travel leave immediately. He's told me he'll be taking his medical leave in a neighbouring village to truly recuperate. He will be incommunicable for the duration of course."
"Hai." The assistant was out of the office, the door closed solidly behind her to seal in the secrets that passed between ANBU agent and Hokage.
"This is the mission she'd taken. If she truly did intend to attempt this solo." Tsunade passed the mission brief from her desk, the duplicate to the one he had burned. "Bring her back." she ordered. A nod and salute passed. "Kakashi." Tsunade called before he could disappear. "Alive." she added, the addition weighing heavily in the air. "Bring her back alive." The crack in her voice spoke volumes to the relationship.
He'd chased her chakra, hunted her perfume, tracked her approach.
But she had a head start, and, he had trained her to make her movements untraceable.
He wasn't ashamed to admit, he had never felt such fear as he did desperately trying to trace her. Such relief to find her alive. Such anger at being constrained to not being able to go to her.
12 hour report- subject has been located. Behaviour is erratic. Direction of travel is unclear.
Respectfully requesting permission to engage with subject
-Denied. Continue reports-
He had no choice but to follow her.
24 hour report- subject is making progress towards intended location. Pace remains fast and physical health appears to be deteriorating. Concern for welfare.
Requesting permission to engage with subject.
-Denied. Continue reports-
To become her shadow.
36 hour report- Subject has yet to make camp or sleep. Continues to intended location. Pace has become slower.
Permission to engage?
-Denied. Maintain 12 hour reports-
To be her midnight medic, sliding emergency supplies into her backpack as she slept then retreating back to the trees.
48 hour report – Subject passed out for 5 hours. Physical health is declining. Emotional state is poor. Welfare is of grave concern. Minimal distance has been covered.
Engagement with target to be reconsidered.
-Maintain mission parameters-
To being her protective perimeter as she finally let herself crack apart. To holding himself back when every part of him wanted to go to her.
60 hour report- Subject has not covered any distance, has been noted with poor emotional health. Subject has eaten and attended to health needs.
Concern remains high.
Permission to engage?
-Denied. Continue 12 hour reports-
To watch her struggle against all odds to pick herself back up and continue as she promised she would.
72 hour report- Subject is travelling towards intended location, steady pace. Avoiding contact with locals and travellers.
Emotional welfare remains low.
Requesting permission to engage to evaluate status.
-Denied. Maintain observation-
To watch her push on when he wanted to take her place, lighten her burden. To let her heal the damage she had done to her shoulder. The damage she had only exacerbated.
84 hour report – Subject continues steady pace. Resting regularly. Physical injury noted with movement. Approaching intended location.
Requesting permission to assist with brief
-Denied unless life critical-
To hang himself on the edge of the room as she proved herself a star actress and flirted with their target like she was the luckiest whore alive. To brace his chakra for a killer fight as she got the target alone. To feel every crack in his heart as she undressed for her target, knelt before him, serviced him as Kunoichi had done for many years, before sliding the thinnest of poisoned senbons into him at his climax.
He didn't feel a thing, had no idea she was a nin assassin, or that she had just signed his death certificate. He paid her for her troubles and got dressed to return to his village where his unfortunate 'heart attack' would take place before the day would end.
And Sakura went to the closest stream and cried as she scrubbed herself raw.
And Kakashi… he wrote the update. As duty intended.
96 hour report – Subject has engaged with target, achieved mission brief.
Request permission to join subject on return journey
-Denied. Confirm mission has been completed successfully-
Kakashi had followed her out of the country, all too aware that this shouldn't have happened. That he should have gone with her. That he had worked so hard to keep her from doing any of those types of missions ever again. That he knew, as any strategist did, the mission she chose was guaranteed suicide for anyone other than a skilled kunoichi trained in seduction.
He couldn't hate her… she completed the mission, and, she was still alive to tell the tale. She was smart enough to know what she needed to do. And brave enough to do it.
His ninken confirmed her target's body had been removed by doctors, that there was no pulse; that she was successful.
108 hour report- Confirmed mission has been completed successfully. Target dealt with as required. Subject has maintained cover and is extracting self from area.
Requesting permission to escort subject to return
-Denied. Observe subject out of country and provide report upon such-
But she came to a fork in the road and she didn't take the path home.
120 hour report- Subject has left target country. Direction is not to return.
Permission to engage required.
-Denied. Follow subject and report on direction of travel-
She went back to the field where she had lost her squadron. Kakashi watched from the trees, chakra concealed entirely, listening to her whispered prayers, her apologies for not being strong enough, her pain expressed raw and open to the memories of the dead.
136 hour report- Subject has returned to site of last notable field work. Subject engaging with locals to provide supplies to create monument at site.
Requesting permission to assist.
-Denied. Cease assignment and return immediately. No further observation required-
And that was the last he had seen her, planting bulbs in the once bloodied grass of the clearing. Talking to spirits that had once been lost there.
He returned back with a weight on his mind.
A worry that she was making her peace so she could step out of the world entirely.
And then he felt her chakra.
He'd been desperate to feel it for so long, he was alert the second it came into his range, on the outskirts of the village. It woke him from sleep.
Alive.
She was alive.
It was a gift like no other. He disturbed the nervous ninken as he raced to the balcony.
He rolled the mask enough to take a deep breath, picking up the faint notes of her perfume.
She was coming back.
The mere knowledge cracked the clay armour of his worry and he stood boldly against the railings, watching her chakra as she crossed into the village. Greeted the guards at the gate with exchanged pleasantries. She was back.
He went through the apartment lighting it up like a beacon in a storm, every bulb, every switch, every light he had, he wanted her to know he was there, he was waiting for her.
The ninken joined him in the space of the balcony, all noses processing another draft of her.
Like petals in the wind, she grew more potent with each breeze, what was faint and barely there was suddenly a fresh bloom, drowning him in her.
She was really back.
His sharingan tracked her as she followed her feet down the street ahead. To the Hokage tower.
Chakra poured into his senses from all directions, the house down the street was using it for no doubt some lewd bedroom practice again, it was humming wild from their back room. But he didn't spare it a cursory glance, he pinned his vision straight to her.
To the chakra that flowed like an unending stream through the valves of his favourite medic. To the perfect control that turned her chakra network into a work of art. The reserves that always seemed to have an extra bit more to give even at her own expensive.
Tonight, it was sparkling bright, lively and energetic as it tumbled elegantly through her body.
Like she hadn't broken apart in front of him.
Like nothing had happened on that battlefield to knock her down to zero.
Like she didn't need him to pick her back up.
He contemplated himself.
There he was gripping the balcony at 3am, an elite shinobi such as himself, an honoured warrior, worried about his ex-student. Wanting to take himself to her side and hold her.
And perhaps she didn't need him.
Perhaps she had fixed herself now.
Kakashi held himself tight to the railings, denying the want to go to her, settling for watching her from a distance, sharingan stalking her movements through the village.
The light in the Hokage's office turned on, drawing his attention.
Tsunade had been made aware of her prodigy's return.
Sakura had noticed it too, her steps stopping as she looked up to her destination.
Her chakra wavered like a flame fighting a gust of wind.
Nerves.
Tsunade certainly would have more than a few choice words for her. There hadn't been as much swearing in that tower as there had been since Sakura took that mission.
Kakashi released his grip on the railings, he should go to bed, Sakura would be another few hours before she could get a word in with the Hokage anyway. He could swing by her apartment then.
At least he could sleep peacefully now he knew she was back safely.
A flare of chakra caught his eye and he focussed back on the streets.
A hand was raised in his direction, a chakra glow summoned around it.
Sakura.
Stood across the distance, facing his illuminated apartment, she lifted a hand in his direction.
She wouldn't be able to see much across the distance, but she could see his lights, see the silhouette on the balcony; the man and his 8 ninken.
He raised a lazy hand in return. Acknowledgement for her greeting.
But the chakra of the hands burned bright again, she tapped them together twice and then showed 3 symbols clear across the distance to his sharingan.
A request to meet, to come to him.
Kakashi breathed into his smile, his hand reaching through the door to flick the light switch of his living room off then back on, a clear signal he understood and welcomed her.
Sakura's chakra settled back down from her hands running around her system easily. With a nod, she was turning back to her route to the Hokage tower.
Tsunade was probably digging into the sake supply already.
She wasn't going to be let off easily for this.
Besides, he had his own chastisement to lay on his ex-student after her latest stunt.
He'd wait his turn though.