She was walking through the halls, and the scorch marks left a somber tone to the castle she once felt was safe. Hermione could feel the worn fatigue in her limbs as she crossed into the dining hall. The Weasleys were crowded around the lifeless form of Fred.
Her feet continued until she stopped dead and the indescribable dread pooled in her gut. Sinking to her knees, she reached out as tears poured down her cheeks. "No, this isn't right," she whimpered while caressing their near touching hands.
"My girl, it's best not to dwell on the dead," Andromeda's hoarse voice interrupted her agony.
Hermione sighed as she stood up, and the older witch scooped her under her arm. They paced away from the pair, and Andromeda glanced at the death eaters covered in isolation.
"This isn't right," Hermione breathed.
"No, war and death never are, dear," Andromeda murmured.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Hermione whispered.
Andromeda nodded as they stopped by the broken windows near the damaged table. "They knew this was a possibility. Dora said goodbye long before they left."
Hermione's thoughts were interrupted as there was a commotion at the entrance.
"You will not bring him in here!" Molly shouted and waved her hand at Minerva and Poppy, bringing in the floating stretcher.
"Calm down, Mrs. Weasley," Minerva sighed.
"He's the traitor that caused this!" Molly cried.
Hermione tilted her head even through the fatigue. She could feel the cogs of her mind turn. Andromeda's fingers pulled the witch closer as they watched the whispering argument of the two witches across the hall.
"He gave Harry memories before his death. Harry knew what to do about Voldemort after," Hermione explained.
"In this world, there are those of us that struggle to find peace. Severus was one of them," Andromeda responded with a nod.
Hermione's brow tightened as McGonagall and Poppy brought in Severus, setting him by the far end of the table. He still held the glazed look of regret and sadness. Profound sadness. The end to a war long fought behind the scenes of naivety. If someone would have just heard his story before his death, would he have been mistaken as such a beast?
"It's a shame that life was so cruel to end this war with so much loss," Andromeda whispered.
"There are many questions to ask of those we lost," Hermione said as she glanced down the hall.
Andromeda stepped from her, and the hall darkened. The people had disappeared, and through the broken windows, she could see the dark mark. Hermione turned around and panted as panic set in her gut. Deep guttural laughter breached the silence, and Voldemort walked into the halls with a menacing grin.
He was bloody and grim, but his evil eyes bore through Hermione as she fell over the corpse of her former professor.
"Harry Potter is dead," Voldemort hissed with joy as the bodies of the death eaters began to stir.
"This isn't real," Hermione whimpered as she cowered in the corner and hyperventilated.
Hermione rocked and covered her eyes to avoid the torturous view of the approaching evil.
"I shall rule this world, and no one can stop us, not even death," Voldemort growled.
A cold hand gripped her leg, and Hermione jerked to see the dead eyes of Severus Snape gazing at her. "Stop this. Save us," He choked.
Hermione screamed as she held her face. She howled and cried until the scene turned black.
"Hermione!" A deep voice echoed through the dark.
When Hermione gasped for air, her eyes shot with color, and she shuddered. Shaking, her limbs felt cold as the dim colors of the room focused. Hermione was in her room at Spinner's End. Severus's arms gripped her. She was only dreaming.
Sobs left Hermione's throat as reality sunk into her mental state. "Sev, it was so real," she wept.
He rubbed her shoulders and tucked his form behind her. "It's alright. It was only a night terror," he whispered.
"Severus, the war was horrible," she cried and pulled his arms closer. "So much pain, and you never asked for anything in return."
He wrapped his arms entirely around her small form and nosed her hair. "Is this what you've been guarding from us?"
Hermione shook and nodded as she manipulated enough to press her cheek against his chest. "The horrors of my past don't need to be repeated."
"You should let me help you," he insisted. "You don't need to protect me. I've seen enough of your memories to understand the taxing mission you applied yourself to do."
"You promise to stay with me?" Hermione questioned in a small voice. "It's difficult to decipher what is real at times."
"Always. I'll help you sort the memories from the fears," Severus murmured.
Hermione gripped him tighter and let the tears and shaking subside before releasing her grasp. "I'm so sorry, Sev."
"For what?" he questioned.
"I've been so lost trying to navigate through this mess."
Severus nosed her hair, and a scowl deepened on his face. "If you weren't so concerned with a looming war, what do you want, Hermione?"
The question stopped her swaying emotions, and she twitched her nose. "I just want to save those we lost."
"No, not that. There is no certainty in that desire. I'm asking personally what you want, Hermione," Severus questioned.
She licked her dry lips and breathed. "I'm not positive."
"When you discover it, let me know. Until then, we shall work on mending this travesty," Severus murmured as he glided his fingers up her arm.
"Travesty?"
"Yes. You require some sleep after such a difficult night terror," he declared, pulling the blankets over them.
Hermione breathed deep and ran her fingers over his chest. "Severus, you are extraordinary."
He manipulated them to the mattress and held the small witch. His fingers combed through her hair as she glanced up at his face. The amount of understanding he held within was a bit stunning for Hermione.
"How did you know?" She whispered.
Severus breathed and touched her cheek. "Fighting ghosts of a muddled past is tiresome to do alone."
She slid closer and kissed his lips. It was soft and full of emotion that lingered as he participated. The gentle textures of his care were gifted through his tender touches. When he pulled from her face, his thumb ran along her cheekbone.
"I sincerely wish for you to get some sleep," Severus breathed.
"Stay here with me? I feel like he won't plague my dreams if you're here," Hermione voiced as she dropped her vision from him.
He rocked his head while pulling Hermione closer. "I will remain."
She shifted closer to his body and inhaled the herbal scent, which was Severus Snape. "I feel less of the weight of my past with you here."
Severus nodded and kissed her forehead. "I promise to keep the demons at bay, Hermione."
Sleep was a welcoming friend for the witch as the Potions Master kept guard until his eyes grew heavy. Before slumber took his mind, he lingered on the pleasant thought of her in his arms. The shields he built up over the years crumbled at her feet.
Hermione woke up warm and comforted as she shifted. When she opened one single eye, she noted Severus Snape asleep against the pillow. Her lips curled at the oddity of his calm and peaceful expression while his chest rose and fell.
It was an interesting thing to have older memories of a man she was afraid of embracing her. Hermione didn't want to feel so akin to the wizards she surrounded herself with, but worse things have happened. To do nothing would be a crime, and in the process, she had to live with her feelings.
Oh, the extraordinary feelings that jitter in so many different ways. Stars across her eyes. Why did this event propel her in this direction? Hermione was confused at her immediate imprinting of this life.
Severus breathed deeply once, and his eyes twitched. "I haven't seen this ceiling in this light since I was a child," he grumbled.
Hermione shifted and stared at his face. "This was your old room?"
Severus arched his eyebrow as his sleepy single eye met her. "Yes. I had renovated it after my father died."
"Do you despise this house?" Hermione questioned.
Severus lifted his head and took a measure of the witch. "It's just a house, Hermione. Walls only speak when spoken to. If I were to hold a negative feeling to this house, it would ruin any hope of tomorrow in the past."
Hermione maneuvered closer with a smile. "Severus, you're quite eloquent in the morning."
"I don't read poetry if you're expecting such," he grunted and moved his arm below her.
She exhaled while rolling her eyes. "There goes my fantasies of you quoting poems as we have our tea in bed."
Severus ducked closer to her face as his free hand glided up her form. "Quote poems and tea?"
"Do you believe that I will ever feel as if the past won't invade in life?" Hermione asked.
"Walls only speak when spoken to," he repeated and kissed her.
Hermione sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. This man was subtle but so correct in many ways. There could be no looking back at the memories without knowing they're just that. He was real and tangible in front of her.
Severus had slid between Hermione's legs as the kiss evolved. Hermione moaned in his mouth as he had encompassed her in his presence. When they had parted, Hermione panted and pressed her forehead to his. "Sev, you have that down to a science," she smiled.
He actually smiled as he shook his head against her. "You're absolutely ridiculous. Science has nothing to do with it. It has to do with enjoyment."
She giggled and gave him another soft kiss. "We need to get up."
Severus grumbled before touching his lips to hers once more before climbing off of her. He sat up against the headboard and breathed. Hermione sat up and licked her lips before turning to him.
"Severus," Hermione started.
"There's no reason to continue with the apology you're about to issue," he waved. "I understand your feelings for Lupin."
Hermione's cheeks darkened as she cleared her throat. "I wasn't going to apologize due to that."
He scratched his chin. "Either way, it's unneeded."
"Sev," Hermione tried again.
He moved to stand up and straightened his form before walking to the door. "I'll go brew the tea."
Hermione launched from the bed and growled. "Severus Snape! The reason I stopped was I've only slept with one person before!" She snapped.
Severus turned around and raised his eyebrows. "You've only been with a single partner."
"And it was only once," she mumbled and glanced away as she blushed. "And not ideal."
He bit the inside of his cheek and touched her face. "It's alright and quite normal, Hermione."
"Yes, but I haven't ever invested in this portion of my life," Hermione mumbled.
"But you aren't quite normal, are you? We've gone through several examples of your differences," Severus declared as he continued to caress her scarlet cheek.
"I don't understand half of my feelings, let alone memories," Hermione puffed then gazed up at him.
Severus twitched his nose and moved them toward the mattress. "I have a few questions for you." He said as they sat down.
Hermione raised her eyebrow. "Alright."
"What determines your attractions to Lupin and me?"
Hermione cleared her throat and adjusted her shirt. "That's a difficult question, Severus."
"I don't think that is as difficult as you're making it. You see, feelings stem from somewhere. The only reason we invalidate feelings is for protection or fitting boxes set by society," Severus explained.
"Well, I don't have an exact source. You both make me feel this way," she responded while sweeping her hand in front of her.
Severus tilted his head from side to side. "That's a valid reason."
"But this," she paused while groaning and waved her hand. "You, him, everything. There's no book written on what it means. I've been trying to pinpoint a reason. I've tried to analyze it and dissect it and even went about separating myself from it. None of it works or explains it. It's dizzying, and I am so overwhelmed with this unspoken need for a choice."
"Well, coming from a minimal emotional and quite a logical wizard, it would seem as simple as attraction, Hermione," He explained with the hint of a smile.
"I have all of this, plus the memories, on top of an impending war, I must figure out how to end without as many losses as I can," she breathed. "It's exhausting."
Severus chuckled and groaned as he rubbed his face. "You're quite attractive. Just when I've thought I experienced the basis of who you are, you add something else to ponder. Hermione, have you just thought about living in moments? Breathing? You're questioning why a flower grows toward the sun; it's nature."
"Why has that worked for you?" She asked while shooting him a very cynical expression.
His expression melted to impatience. "Do we really have to focus on my isolation to avoid your conflict?"
"I'm going to hurt someone," she sighed and gazed up at the faded ceiling. "Just letting go of the bit of feelings I have, as confusing as they may be. It's going to hurt one of you, and I can't figure out how to juggle it. I don't have an answer or preference, which is frustrating. I've tried to ignore it, and that's worse."
"Well, it has been my choice to participate in your confusion. I imagine Lupin feels similar. Neither of us is deserving, but you're insistent."
"Exactly," Hermione puffed. "I'm grasping in the dark, and both of you took my hands. I can't bear to let go and feel so bloody selfish. It's wrong, and I don't want to feel like either of you has to fight to feel worthy. That isn't fair to you or him."
Severus crossed his legs in front of them. "Well, we're knowledgeable about each other. The guilt shouldn't be plaguing you. If you want my honest opinion, then I suggest you stop looking for answers on explaining it and just breathing. We have time."
Hermione turned and smiled at him. "You realize this is why I enjoy your company so much, Severus? You're so intelligent and remarkably kind though you deny it."
He slanted his head and smirked. "Well, I won't disregard your feelings."
Hermione snorted. "And there's your utter charm."
Snape laughed, and it was deep and full. "Let's climb back into bed for a short period. We don't have anything scheduled, and we can afford to relax."
Hermione rocked her head, and they moved back within the sheets. Severus stroked her curls and stared down at her. "Are you positive you're doing this because you want to?"
"Of course, Severus, why do you ask?"
He breathed and looked away from her. "It's unimportant."
"No," Hermione said firmly. "What is it?"
"You went out into the forest with Lupin," He scowled.
Hermione grimaced and breathed. "You really want to go into this? Alright, yes I did, but we didn't shag."
He wore skepticism on his face. "You didn't?"
"No, he well," Hermione puffed and twitched her nose.
"Oh," Severus blinked and slanted his head. "Did you appreciate that?"
"Merlin, Severus, really?" Hermione groaned as her cheeks glowed.
"I'm not asking for the details," Severus grumbled.
Hermione breathed and nodded. "Yes, it was pleasant. I told him about my lack of experiences while we were out there. His response was what occurred."
Severus shifted his lips from one side to another before rocking his head. "That's accommodating enough. I would have done things a bit different, but I'm far more methodical."
"Sev," Hermione tutted.
"Yes?"
"You understand that I'm flying a bit blind with this, correct?" She asked.
Snape gazed down at her eyes and nodded. "Yes, I do, which is why I don't take offense, Hermione. Your kindness is abundant, and you will make decisions on your own. To demand knowledge without experience is a regretful error."
Her eyebrows knitted as her lips thinned. "Are you saying these things just to make me feel better?"
"Yes, I'm insanely jealous of him," Severus snorted.
"There is a bit of truth in that," she giggled and touched her index finger to his cheek.
Severus's cheeks tinted in the slightest, and he groaned. "Minorly. I'm not accustomed to attachment, and I feel it is competitive even without his participation."
"This is why I hate this," Hermione sighed.
He slid closer, and his brow sunk. "I will make you a promise if you agree to it as well."
Hermione rocked her head. "What is it?"
"I promise to not pry or jab at Lupin and your connection if you promise always to be brutally honest with me."
"Brutally honest?" she murmured with widened eyes.
Severus agreed. "That means if you have a truth that might wound me, I still would like to hear it."
Hermione sighed and touched his cheek. "I promise, but I'd have a difficult time with that, Sev. You're important to me, and I try not to hurt people I care about."
"I know, which is why I'm pleased you agreed," he voiced.
She bit her lip and frowned. "What if," Hermione stopped when Severus met her lips.
It was soft and languished kiss that buffed out the tension of the conversation. Evidently, Severus was done with the discussion and wanted to move on to other things. Hermione let the frustrations and doubts of the morning dissipate and remained present with the surprisingly stellar kisser that was Severus Snape.