A true relationship
I help Kai set up everything but as soon as he's comfortable, under the shade of his umbrella, book in hand and cold water cracked open, I take off. Stripping out of my swimsuit cover and kicking up behind me, I make a bee-line for the waves.
Only to stop as soon as the chilly ocean hits my shins. I knew it was going to be cold, but it's always such a surprise. Gritting my teeth with a grin, I push through until I'm thigh - then hip - then waist-deep. Laying on my back, my body moves with the gentle waves, lifting as they come in.
There are only a few people on the beach, considering it's Friday afternoon. I expect that it'll be busier tomorrow. Most are older couples walking along the shore, hand in hand, or runners that pass them by, hair bouncing with their steady rhythm. I watch them from where I float peacefully.
I also watch Kai. Despite the activity and noise around him, he never lifts his head from his book. When I would go on family vacations, I always had to force myself to focus. I was easily distracted by whatever action was taking place in front of me. I got my work done, of course, but it wasn't easy when I'd rather be in the center of the action.
Not Kai, though. His head never swivels from the page. Not until a blue-yellow swirl beach ball bounces up next to him. Standing, I duck half my face below the waterline to conceal my smile as a toddler follows the ball, and Kai is forced to give the situation his attention.
Kai picks up the large, plastic toy with one hand and offers it back to the toddler. The little one can only grip it with both arms, practically hugging it, but Kai makes sure they don't fall over as they trot back to their kneeling mother. They wave bye-bye to Kai and he returns it, a little shake of the hand that makes the toddler smile.
It's been about an hour and I've had enough of the water. Also, I think that it's been a long enough break from the questions. Walking back to the umbrella the cold air nip at my pebbled skin. Spreading out my towel in front of Kai's set up, under the setting sun. I lay on my stomach, arms tucked under my head, and let the fading heat dry my body and suit. From here, I have the perfect view of the beach. And with a turn of my head, I also have the perfect view of Kai, who has turned back to his book without a second thought.
I search my mind for something to ask Kai to get us back on track, but all it comes up with is the image of him being nice to that toddler.
That's not a question! I scream, And also if I say anything, he might withdraw entirely. Kai Hiwatari does not like to be teased about being nice.
"What's your book about?" I say since nothing else is coming to mind. Again, he's removed the dust jacket, making it difficult to see what the faded title is.
His eyes leave the page for only a moment before returning. "Business stuff," he says.
"Like what?"
"Strategies,"
Sitting up on one elbow and turning towards him on my side, I ask, "Why don't you want to tell me?"
He huffs a sigh. "It follows the life of a swordsman who wrote a rather famous book on his teachings,"
"Are you talking about Musashi?"
Kai looks at me questioningly, blatant surprise on his face.
I laugh and his confusion. "I have a degree in business. I've had to take more than one philosophy class. Both The Art of War and The Book of Five Rings were required reading,"
"Ah," he hums, returning to his book.
"But I read them both for fun in high school," I add.
"In your war against Emily?" He asks, not bothering to look up again.
Yes, I think but don't say. I don't want to voice just how petty I am. "Not that it mattered," I say instead, "she still won in the end," I sigh, rotating to my back to look at the beautiful sky. The sun has dyed it a pink so bright it looks like an edited photo – unreal.
"Because she got top of the class?"
I run my tongue over my teeth. We've talked about this too much. It's always about ways that Emily is better than me and it's a conversation I'm tired of having.
"What was school like for you?" I inquire, looking for any distraction. "Your first roommate was Yuriy, right?"
"We're not talking about Yuriy,"
"But - "
"There's no reason you need to know anything more about him to do your job,"
"But he's basically like your best friend,"
"He's not my best friend,"
"Then who's your best friend,"
"I don't have one,"
Ugh, he's impossible. I eye him through narrowed lashes. He sits facing the sun and the warm golden glow bounces off his face and exposed chest.
"What?" He asks, still reading but feeling my eyes on him anyway.
"If I can't ask about Yuriy, can I ask why I can't ask about him?"
He puts the book down, closing it over a single finger to keep his place, and levels me with an agitated look. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"
I turn away from him to give an air of being unruffled by his comment. Quitting is not in my nature. I assume he's going to say something along the lines of 'It's not my story to tell'. That's what he said when I asked about Salima the first time, but he eventually gave in there so maybe I have a shot here.
He takes his time assessing me. My heart pounds when I see that his hard gaze doesn't relent into acceptance but into something else entirely. A spark of cleverness lights up behind his eyes and a smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. He puts the book down at his side, folding his hands over his stomach casually.
"Tell me about your boyfriend and I'll tell you about Yuriy,"
"Seems like an odd trade,"
"That's the deal," he shrugs. "Take it or leave it,"
I sigh, having to think about it. It's not that's a private story by any means – I just don't like revisiting it. It's a chapter of my life that's closed. I'm done thinking about Carlos. He doesn't matter anymore.
Besides, the first time Kai asked was during a tense situation. I wasn't any more sure what he was going to do with the information than I am now.
He sees my doubtful expression. "I just want to know," he says. "I'm not going to do anything about it if you're sure it's not going to interfere with my plans,"
"It won't,"
"Then you have nothing to worry about,"
His words sound promising but he tends to go off on his own whims. Still, it's not like there's a lot he can do; it was so long ago. And what's the price of a small story in exchange for more information about Kai's past? At least that information will be relevant.
"His name was Carlos," I start. I can't look him in the eye as I speak. I can't see his reactions to what I say. "I was a first-year and Carlos worked in one of the bars nearby,"
"I thought he was a fellow student,"
"I never said that," I snap.
Kai remains quiet, waiting for me to continue. Licking my lips, I start again. "He worked at the bar, and of all my friends, he singled me out and made me feel special. He said things I liked hearing. He was...rough. Edgy. A bad boy." I laugh at myself.
"At first, he did little things to show his interest. He'd comp my drinks or make sure I got home okay. He would let me know he was interested without going too far. I was flattered.
"My focus was still on my studies. I never missed a class or anything, kept up with my friends and clubs. He said that he liked how smart I was; that it made him smarter just being around me. And he called me his sunshine. I liked that too. It wasn't that I thought I could change him or fix him in any way. I didn't want to change him. I just thought that we could balance each other; make each other more rounded as people. He could loosen me up and I could..." I swallow, thinking of my younger self and how happy she was to be someone's light – their reason to get up in the morning.
"Towards the end of my first semester, he got through all of my defenses and reasons for not being in a relationship and we started dating. Everything was great. He didn't even seem to mind that we weren't sleeping with each other right away. He knew I was taking my time and he said he appreciated how thoughtful I was. Promised me that the time would make everything even more special.
And he was right. Halfway through my second semester, I decided it was time. I felt so good about the decision and even after. He was so sweet about everything. I thought we hit a new level in our relationship and it was exactly how I wanted it to be.
This went on for a few weeks; about two months. And then towards the end, he wasn't as reachable and when I finally was able to talk to him, he was distant. I thought maybe we're just going through a rough patch," I have to steel myself against the rise of emotions as I think about what happened next. Completely cutting off all feeling until I can speak as if this were just a story I heard from someone about someone I don't know. Once I'm sure my voice will be level, I continue.
"But then I couldn't reach him at all. Not by phone and apparently, he had quit his job at the bar. His friends couldn't tell me anything. I panicked. Called hospitals, police stations. It wasn't often, but occasionally, he'd go on a bender and wind up in a cell. But there was no news. Nothing. I just had to wait and worry.
Finals came and I was a mess. I was barely keeping up in class and not at all ready for exams. Two hours before my first exam, I got a message from Carlos. 'We're done.' That's it. I have to laugh about it now because that was exactly what I needed. I used the anger from the message to fuel my study sessions. I passed everything," I allow the bitter laughter to bubble up in my chest.
Looking at Kai for the first time since I started speaking, I'm not surprised to find that he's looking at the horizon with that same blank face as always. I'm thankful for it, in fact. Normally when I tell this story, it's accompanied by sad faces and pitying words of sympathy of some sort. Not from Kai, though.
"I took the summer to deal with it and then came back to school with a new perspective. I spent the next year hooking up with new people. Not strangers, but people I knew. Friends, kinda. They were all nice but it wasn't right. It took a while but I realized I wanted something stable like I said earlier. I want the happy ever after, which you can't have if there's never an 'ever'. So, I focused on my studies and convinced myself that the right person will come along eventually," I trail off, thinking about all the empty years in between.
Kai continues to stare at the horizon. I don't like pity, but some reaction would be nice. I sit up and wave a hand in front of his face. "If you made me go through all that and didn't even listen, I'm going to be so pissed,"
His eyes focus on me, a thunderstorm behind them. I lower my hand slowly. Where did that come from?
"I'm mad," he says. Blinking, he continues, "I wasn't expecting to be mad,"
"Well, you made me tell it," I answer, thinking he meant my story and how boring it is.
"Not at you," For someone who says they're mad, his voice is remarkably even. "I'm mad at him. What kind of man"-
"It's very clear he wasn't a man,"
"Still," he mutters disapprovingly. Though his voice is even, I can see the tension in his body. While it's not the lack of reaction he had moments ago, I find myself okay with this. Anger is better than sympathy.
"I could find him," Kai continues, muttering to himself.
"But you won't because you gave me your word that you wouldn't do anything with the information," Despite my firm words, I'm smiling. It's nice to have someone who wants to avenge me.
He's not happy with this answer but he allows it. The tension leaves his jaw and shoulders as he relaxes into his chair.
The sky has turned to dark blue at the horizon, fading to black over us. Thankfully, I'm already dry and warm and not at all worried about catching a chill. Everyone else has gone home, leaving us alone on the beach. Our main light sources are the porch lights from the various houses above us. It's enough for us to see each other, but the ocean is an inky black void beyond the sandy shore.
I sit on the towel with my knees pulled in, watching the waves as they reach the beach and then recede back to nothing. Technically, I have the right to ask about Yuriy now but something tells me it isn't the best time.
"Tell me something," I say, turning back towards him and leaning my head on my knees. "Tell me something that's not something you'd tell just anyone."
Kai raises his eyebrows as if he's waiting for clarification. As if that isn't what the whole weekend is about.
"Not like a deep secret. Just something you know but wouldn't say unless asked,"
I wait as he closes his eyes to think. I can't imagine what he'll come up with or if he'll even take it seriously.
"Okay," he says, opening his eyes again. "I wasn't planning on telling you this, but since you asked,"
"Yeah?"
"When I had a background check done on you to find out what kind of person you are, I got back some basic information,"
I remember. I also remember he called me boring. I narrow my eyes at him. Where is this going with this?
"I also got back some public pictures,"
"Like what, my driver's license?" I cackle. Nobody's government photos are great, so what do I have to be embarrassed about.
"Like school pictures,"
I freeze. "No."
He nods.
I shake my head. "No,"
"And I'm just curious," he says, lips curling into a wicked smile, eyes glittering with glee, "did you shorten your skirt, or was the uniform already like that?"
If I had anything to throw at him, I would. But I don't. Other than sand. Which isn't nice.
"Shut up," I tell him, hiding my face in my hands. "We're supposed to be talking about you!"
"No, really," His voice flattens out again. I could believe that he is being serious if it weren't for that mocking twinkle in his expression. "The uniform was nice. Do you still have it?"
"I quit," I stand and brush the sand from my legs. Legs I'm suddenly very aware of. I've always secretly thought my legs were my best feature. My hair is plain brown. Some consider my eyes to be droopy. I was pretty flat-chested until my later teen years. But my legs have always been long and lean.
Hence the skirts.
"You can marry Mathilda," I continue, folding and rolling up my towel, "hope you're really happy together!"
"I thought you didn't quit?"
I hate that all-knowing look he has. Except, it kind of also gives me a thrill when it's turned on me. I unfold the towel again, setting it closer to him and his now useless umbrella. He watches me with a cool expression.
"I'm getting those pictures back,"
"You'll get them when I get the one you took,"
I think of the picture that started it all. It's been a while since I've allowed myself to really dwell on it, but it's still there, in my phone.
"Fine," I say, knowing he's never going to get his hands on it, "but we have to focus on you, now. You already know enough about me,"
"By all means," Kai breathes, "let the interrogation continue,"
"Tell me more about your cousins," I say. "What's your relationship with them really like?"
Bitterness coats his expression for only a second before he schools his features back into neutrality. "Tense, at best. Combative underneath that."
"Why? It can't just be because of Soichiro's favoritism,"
"For Ralf, it is," He nods. "He was going to be second in command, and when I showed up, I ruined everything he and his father had planned. It made sense when my father left that things would then fall to Kay and her children," he grins at that like he's laughing at his own private joke.
"Gideon really struck gold marrying Kay, huh?"
"Gideon was the heir to some genetics lab in Germany that both Soichiro and Kay wanted access to. Kay would inherit at least some of the Hiwatari fortune. It wasn't a hard negotiation,"
"And Kay was okay just to marry Gideon and have a family with him?"
"Think of it more like business partners,"
I shake my head. "I can't. That's so weird,"
"Doesn't matter, they both knew what they were signing up for,"
I sense that we're getting close to a touchy subject when speaking of their marriage so I shift the conversation again. "Ralf is two years older than you?"
"Correct," Kai says. "I don't think he'd like me even if I hadn't taken his place as the future head of the family. We don't have much in common,"
"Does that bother you?"
"Not really. I don't particularly like him either,"
"But what if there wasn't this thing between you?"
He smirks. "Then we have too much in common. Our leaning towards solitude. Our need to be the best, and so on,"
"So, only the bad traits," I laugh. "Must be and Hiwatari thing,"
He snorts quietly.
"Are you excited about turning 30 on Sunday?"
"It's another day, another year,"
"Oh, aren't you just so cool, pretending like it doesn't matter!"
"Who's pretending?"
"30 is big, Kai,"
"30 is the new 21?" He mocks. I feel his comment like a hard poke to the ribs.
"Yeah, exactly!"
Another peaceful silence falls over us, the only sound being the waves from the ocean. Kai lets his head lean back, exposing his long neck. I find the movement oddly fluid and reassuring. He trusts me enough to take his eyes off me, to not keep up the conversation when he doesn't feel like it. To be at ease.
"Are you going to talk to your parents tomorrow?"
"What?" He says, coming back up to give me a critical look.
"You're turning 30," I remind him with a mumble.
Judging from his glower, he's not any happier with this question than he was being asked about what breed of cat he'd be. He doesn't say that he deplores it and he doesn't need to. I recognize the look without his help.
"I guess that's a no,"
"How many more questions do you have?"
"Oh, I'm not even referencing the list anymore. I'm just asking whatever pops into my head,"
"What a joy,"
"You really don't like people knowing things about you?"
"There's not that much to know, really. You're just making a bigger deal of it than necessary,"
"That's not true," I say with a smile. "Every time I think I've got you figured out another facet of your dazzling personality comes out of nowhere. It's like a clown car or Mary Poppin's bag of Kai Hiwatari."
"Did you just call me a clown car,"
I bit my lips and look up at him innocently.
He doesn't bother to spend his time with a glare. Kai shakes his head with a roll of the eyes. In the darkness of night, his eyes are black, nearly impossible to see. The only like that we have this far out is the light from the beach houses that dot the edge sand. Despite only being in a swimsuit, I feel comfortable out here. Kai's the most threatening thing out here, and though we've had certain heated moments, I doubt he thinks of me that way. If so, he would have tried something by now, right?
Right.
"Why'd you pick track when you were in school?" I continue with the questioning. It's still only Friday, but I feel my time is running out. I've got to get every question I can in or else it'll all for naught. "Not good with team sports?"
His mouth twists.
"Ah-ha! That's it, isn't it? I got it right,"
"It's not that difficult of a guess," Kai says. "You shouldn't even need to guess at this point,"
"Don't be a sourpuss,"
Our questioning goes on like this for a while. I ask whatever question comes into my mind and he either answers or he doesn't. For the most part, the answers don't matter. It's his reactions to the questions that I'm enjoying the most. I'm learning to read even the micro-expressions that flash across his face before he catches them. That can only help us in the long run.
All in all, if the rest of the weekend goes like today, I'll call it a success.
I'm coming down off a fit of laughter after Kai spilled this story where he and Rick got completely drunk after a final exam. They needed to let off some steam and the result was Kai getting his ear pierced – which is completely tame in my opinion (fun fact: the hole is still open) - but Rick got a tattoo of a bull on his upper right butt cheek.
It was the picture Kai shared that sent me over the edge.
As I compose myself, returning his phone, a beam of light shines down on us. I raise my hand against it as a voice calls out that they're security and the beach is closed. And that trespassers are not allowed.
"We're not trespassing," Kai says, all his tired irritation returning. Whatever good mood he'd been in is disappearing very quickly.
"It's late," I say to salvage the night, "we should go in anyway,"
"Where are you staying?" The guard asks, coming down the beach towards us.
Kai stands. For once, I wish he were wearing his suit and tie. It'd let this guy know not to press his buttons. I mean, Kai still looks good in his swim trunks, but I'm just saying.
"Gather this stuff up while I talk to him," he says with a steely calm voice. I know that calm is hiding a storm and I wish he would just let it go.
But I do what he says, folding our towels and taking down the umbrella while Kai talks to the security guard. I keep my eye on them, straining my ear to hear anything that passes between them. It's difficult to hear anything over the waves, especially since they're speaking in low tones.
Just as I'm about finished with our items, Kai marches back up to me. "He's calling my parents,"
I stiffen. "What?"
"He says that he doesn't recognize me and wasn't alerted to a visitor, so he's calling my parents to verify that I have permission to be here. It doesn't matter that I have a key or the same last name! Damn bicycle cop, having an ego trip,"
I cover my mouth to keep the laughter in, but he catches the movement anyway. With a sharp gaze, he drills into me. "What?"
"It's just" -I pause to take a deep breath and control my giggles. "One, they're calling your parents. You're an adult and they're calling your parents. It's just a funny thought. And two, I guess you will be talking to them on your birthday. Or close enough,"
"I'm so glad you're enjoying this," he snaps, picking up the umbrella and chair while I take the cooler and towels.
I follow him back to the house, trying to keep my joy to myself. I'm nearly weeping by the time he opens the doors.
"Did they know you were coming or is this going to be a surprise?"
"I told my aunt to verify that the house would be empty this weekend," he says, putting everything down and turning on the light in the small kitchen. "Whether she told them or not doesn't matter, they'll still vouch for me. It's just the fact that he's calling. Like I'm some child breaking curfew,"
There's a knock on the door and Kai glares as if he could vaporize the person on the other side. To offer the bit of protection I can, I open it enough for him to see both me and Kai in the background.
The guard, an older man with a roundish face who doesn't look like he's seen much of any action, seems caught off guard that a small girl answered when he was expecting an irate Kai.
"I thought I told you to stay"- he says, shifting his view to me. "Oh, uh,"
"Yes?" I smile pleasantly.
"The Hiwatari's said that you were allowed to be here,"
"Thank you for your diligence," I answer, trying to diffuse the situation.
He hesitates as if he wants to say more. I feel Kai behind me, his fiery gaze heats up my spine. Kai would rather dial it up. I, however, want to keep this weekend as drama-free as possible. I don't want to have to try and pull Kai back if this guy tries to push him any further. I ask the guard if there's anything else we can help with, indicating with my tone that the only answer I'll accept is 'no'. He tips his head and leaves the porch, looking confused as to what just happened.
"You were too nice to him,"
Kai has that dangerous glint in his eye again. Thankfully, I don't think it's meant for me this time. Still, it has an effect. I smooth down the white cover I slipped back on when I was gathering everything. When I see the clock on the wall, I'm surprised to find that it's nearing eleven p.m.
We were out on the beach for hours. Just talking. We missed dinner. I wasn't quizzing him or checking questions off a list. And he didn't make it difficult. It was actually a pretty enjoyable evening, just the two of us.
"Thanks," I say.
Kai goes to the kitchen and grabs an orange from the counter. I thought they would be a good snack for days on the beach and they looked so bright and fresh at the market earlier.
Kai tears into the peel with his teeth, spitting out the piece and then peeling back the rest. "For?" He asks, popping a slice in his mouth.
"For making today easy. You did more than I thought you would,"
He considers his midnight snack, twisting it around as if he must find the best section for his next bite. "You were right," he says quietly, reluctant.
I smile at the admission. He catches the quick tilt of my lips and rolls his eyes. "We should have done this earlier," he continues.
"You still said I'm right," I sing. "We should hit the hay. There are still two days left. We don't want to spend them in bed the entire time,"
Kai barks a laugh and I realize the slip of my words. Clearing my throat to keep the blush at bay, I force a stupid giggle. "You know what I mean," I say, "Besides, it's not like that would ever happen,"
"It's not like what would never happen?"
"You and me," I motion between us.
His eyes pierce, commanding more. He wants me to say more. And it's no wonder why. My mouth has a habit of getting me into trouble, especially with him. I try to ignore the urge to babble and explain myself but any self-control is long gone.
"I mean, I'll admit I had a bit of a crush on you before this whole thing started. And I know you said that you noticed me in the elevator, whatever that means. But...there was never going to be anything between us. Obviously. I was never going to be one of those numbers in your phone that you call when you want to celebrate a win,"
He pops the last orange slice in his mouth and bites down. His jaw moves noticeably as he chews as if he's deliberately drawing attention to it. He tosses the peels in the trash under the small sink and turns off the kitchen light so the only light we have is the porch lights outside. I swallow and step back, allowing him the space to move about without coming in close to him.
Kai pauses by the hall, look at me from the shadows. "Had we met under different circumstances I absolutely would have put you in my phone,"
Ah, so a day at the beach. And some more backstory for Hilary. Who guess that Carlos was her ex? How many people thought it was Tyson?...don't worry. He's coming.
So sorry for the delay in posting. I usually try to do it in the morning where I'm at, but a lot has gone on this week that got in the way of finishing the chapter. I got it out as soon as I could! I hope you enjoyed it, even if things are moving a bit slow right now. I would love to hear your thoughts about everything! Or anything. - Konix.