Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story.
"Hmph! The organ? You expect me to play such a tune at your wedding?" Ganondorf asked, his arms folded.
"What? I thought you liked playing the organ!" Bowser shot back.
"Don't get me wrong, I do… it's just that "Here Comes the Bride" is not really my forte. I don't do light hearted music."
"Well, make it stand out then. Make it more evil!"
"An eviler version of the song?" Ganondorf smirked, chuckling. "That's more like it."
"Ugh, remind me why I got roped into this?" Kairi grumbled, standing next to Palutena, Aqua and Zelda.
"I don't mind being the maid of honor…" Zelda said. "And I don't mind being Peach's maid of honor… but in THIS wedding? Ugh! Not to mention we're chained together…"
"I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid… but this was not what I had in mind." Aqua said.
"You think you have it bad?" A voice said as she turned to Terra. "At least you weren't forced to be his Best Man!"
"Or the groomsmen." Link said as he, Richter and Lea were with him, the latter looking annoyed with his arms folded and his foot tapping impatiently.
"Or the Ring Bearer." Villager sighed.
"Ow! OUCH! YOWCH!" A voice yelped as they turned to see Isabelle. "I don't mind being the flower girl but why do the flowers have to be Piranha Plants?!" She yelled, as one Piranha Plant nipped her in the nose. "Ouch, my sniffer!"
"At least you're not held hostage to play music at the reception." Banjo said as he and Kazooie were chained together, the latter having a muzzle over her beak.
Steve and Alex walked by, with both of them holding a sign. "At least you weren't forced to build a customized altar for the couple." Alex wrote.
"I don't mind building things, but I prefer doing it free style." Steve added.
"I don't see why anyone's complaining. I don't mind being the minister at all." Arlon said, reading through the book as everyone shot him a glare. "…What?"
"Oh… this is gonna be a trainwreck…" Kairi mumbled.
"It's crazy how he invited all of the Smashers." Palutena mused, seeing the audience consisted of Smashers, and even some Gensokyoans like Mokou, Kaguya, Sanae, Meiling were in the audience as well. Even the Hands were there.
"This is a trainwreck." Master Hand said.
"This is beautiful!" Crazy Hand said.
"Heheheh… this is going to be perfect. I wonder what's keeping Peach so long?" Bowser wondered.
With Peach…
Peach had her hands firmly on the drawers, looking into the mirror. She let out a low growl, pounding the drawer in frustration. She tried talking Bowser out of it, she TRIED to let someone else bake the wedding cake… but now here she is. Her wedding day… with Bowser.
This was not how she pictured her wedding to go… she wanted to be married to one man. The man. The man who she had fallen in love with but couldn't figure out how to confess to him. He was out of her league… a plumber! Just a measly Italian plumber and she's a princess. A mere commoner…
The same commoner who always risked his life to save her from the tyrannical Koopa King. The hero of the Mushroom Kingdom… and then of course, everything changed during Bowser's galactic conquest. The day she met Reimu and the two of them busted out and reunite with the Mario Bros and Marisa.
Peach closed her eyes. He always came, no matter what… but would this be different? Could he save her from this fate that Bowser forced her into? She couldn't marry Bowser… there was no way she couldn't. And yet… here she is.
Mario… Peach thought, a tear running down her cheek.
There was a light tapping on the door as she turned her head to see Toadsworth opening the door. "Princess, are you ready?"
"…Unfortunately, yes." Peach nodded. "I don't want to do this…"
"Believe me, I wouldn't want this any other way, but we do not have a choice in the matter." Toadsworth said and took Peach's hand. "If I had my way, I would've sent that rapscallion packing… but my days of fighting are long past me."
"Toadsworth… I… I don't want to marry him!" She said, quietly sobbing as she hugged Toadsworth tightly, the latter returning the hug as he got misty eyed and sobbed into her gown. Outside of the room, Samus was leaning on a wall… and she was fuming.
If it wasn't for Kamek finding a way to disable her armor, she'd put on the Varia Suit and destroy everything in her way while also tearing Bowser a new one. She let out a deep throaty growl. It was one thing to make Peach cry… it's another to force her into marrying the Koopa King, something she very much doesn't want to do.
Peach walked out the door, looking at Samus. "I'm ready."
Samus solemnly nodded. "Let's get you married." She said as they walked off together and then two Hammer Bros opened up the doors. A Lakitu cued Ganondorf as he cracked his knuckles and started playing an evil version of Here Comes the Bride.
Everyone stood up and turned around to look at Peach while Bowser had a happy grin on his face. Peach visibly gulped and slowly walked toward the altar, desperately hoping it'd stall for time… unfortunately, two Parabuzzies flew over and nudged Peach along, much to her dismay.
She was going to marry Bowser… whether she liked it or not.
Outside…
The Odyssey landed on the surface of the moon as everyone walked out. "Aaaah! How are we breathing?!" Hop yelled.
"I was just about to ask that myself!" Hilda exclaimed.
"I… have so many questions." Akame said.
"Come on, let's-a move it!" Mario said as they took off running… although the zero gravity was working against them as they were moving slowly.
"I got it." Rosalina said, raising her wand up to make the gravity normal underneath their feet as they started running normally.
"Now that's what I'm talking about!" Daisy exclaimed.
Peach was pushed up the front steps, and then Bowser locked hands with her. She had to admit… he was surprisingly gentle.
"Ahem." Arlon cleared his throat as everyone sat down. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of Palutena, to wed King Bowser Koopa and Princess Peach Toadstool. If anyone here objects to this union, please speak now or forever hold your peace."
"I object!" Peach raised her hand, causing the good guys to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Aw booooo!" Crazy Hand booed.
"Bwahahaha! Ain't she a kidder! She didn't really mean that!" Bowser laughed. "Brides don't count anyway." He said, as they heard laughter from the villains, Koopa Troop and Crazy Hand… while the good guys let out groans.
Worth a try… Peach thought.
"Now then. King Bowser, do you take Princess Peach Toadstool to be your lawfully wedded wife until both of your games are over?"
"Hell yeah!"
"Now then, say your wedding vows to the princess." Arlon said.
"Huh? I didn't prepare a wedding vow…" Bowser spoke up as Arlon glanced over at Peach and winked at her.
"Not to worry, your dapperness." Kamek said, handing him a piece of paper. "I wrote this up for you."
"Aw Kamek, thank you." Bowser said and turned to Peach.
Kamek, I swear, if you made a short vow… Peach thought.
"I, King Bowser Koopa, do solemnly swear that-"
"Psst."
Peach turned her head to Zelda. "Hmm?"
"-That I will always love you no matter what-"
"Just say the word and I'll roast his tail." Zelda whispered, fire appearing at her fingertips.
"-I will keep you from harm, especially that rotten, no good, goody two shoes, fat, obnoxious, always has a smile on his face, pasta loving-"
"Oh brooooother! GET ON WITH IT!" Dark Pit yelled.
"YES! GET ON WITH IT, WHY DON'T YA!" Dedede agreed.
"Yes, please! I wanna see the big moment!" Aya spoke up, her camera at the ready.
"-Mario and his goody two shoes friends." Bowser shot them a glare. "I will always honor you and cherish you for the rest of my days." He finished.
Oooof course it was short. Peach thought, her eye twitching.
"And here's yours, princess." Kamek said, handing her her own vows as Peach looked into it as she sweatdropped, her eye twitching very quickly.
I'M SUPPOSED TO READ THIS?! She thought.
"Wait a minute, shouldn't you ask her the question first before the vows?" Palutena whispered to Arlon.
"I'm not the one running this wedding." Arlon whispered back.
Here goes… Peach thought. "I, Princess Peach Toadstool, do solemnly swear that I will always love you, honor you, and I will protect you from harm against the Mario Bros and their friends. That I will always take you on a date wherever you wish and I will spend every waking moment with you by your side, ruling over the newly formed kingdom… the… MushKoopa Kingdom?!" She said in surprise.
"The name's still a work in progress. We're still ironing out the details." Bowser explained.
"…I see… and I also solemnly swear that I will… banish the Mario Bros, their friends and any of those who dare object to our union where we will both send every one to Vibe Island where they will be locked into cages and spend the rest of their moments in Gleam Glacier. I will love you until my last dying breath."
Holy moly… this guy doesn't mess around whenever marriage is concerned… Aqua thought.
Outside…
"Wait a minute!" Gloria spoke up as they saw a chariot ride with some steeds. Said steeds happening to be Glastrier, Spectrier and the Swords of Justice. "…Oh. My. Arceus." She said as she took out her Ultra Ball and called out Calyrex. "Ye see this shite?"
"Good heavens! What are they doing?!" Calyrex yelled in surprise as they went over to the chariot.
"It's enchanted… we're not getting out of this." Cobalion spoke up. "We don't like this as much as you do."
Mario let out a growl. "That's it, I'm crashing it!" He said as he marched toward the door as they marched into the cathedral.
Inside…
"Do you, Princess Peach… take Bowser to be your lawfully wedded husband until your games are over?"
Peach gulped, looking into Bowser's eyes. "I… I…"
Come on… come on! Bowser thought.
We're almost there. Kamek thought.
The union will be great! General Guy thought.
Junior grinned, still wearing Terry's hat. Mama Peach will officially be my mama shortly!
"I… I…" She gulped, her voice and eyes trembling. Bowser's face beckoning her to say those words. "I…"
"Rrrrgh! It's locked!" Mario said, trying to open the doors.
Sakuya looked up. "The vent!"
"I'll give him a boost!" Reimu said, grabbing Mario and flying up into the vent where Mario would quickly pull out a Mini Mushroom and ate it before he swiftly took off running. Reimu landed on the ground and turned toward Demoman. "You know what to do."
"Lassie, you do the honors." Demoman said, handing Haru the Sticky Bomb Launcher, causing her to let out a gasp and took it.
"Everyone stand back… this is gonna be big." Haru said in a sadistic tone.
Inside…
Bowser looked at Peach. "Do you, Peach… take me as your lawfully wedded husband?" He asked and gave her a look that said "Mario ain't coming", which made her heart shatter as she closed her eyes in defeat, unaware of Mario running into an open panel as he looked down and saw the event unfold.
"I… I do…"
"I object." Mario quietly said, turning toward the tiny Cappy as they both nodded.
"Let's do this." Cappy nodded.
"By the power invested in me, I declare these two husband and wife. You may kiss the bride!"
Cappy hopped onto Mario's head as they dove down, with Mario pulling out a Fire Flower and absorbing it where he grew back to normal size. "HEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Mario yelled, punching the ground in a fiery explosion that caught everyone's attention.
"MARIO!" Peach exclaimed in happiness.
"MARIO?!" Bowser yelled before smirking. "You're too late!" He said, grabbing a hold of Peach and quickly gave her a big smooch.
"NO!" Mario and Cappy yelled.
"Bwahahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU ARE TOO LATE. SHE IS OFFICIALLY MY WIFE!" Bowser declared, watching Mario fall on his hands and knees as he cried out in despair. "GAME OVER, MARIO!"
He continued to laugh evilly, taking Peach into his arms and busting out through a wall, hopping into the chariot where they would take off onto an airship where they would fly back to the Mushroom Kingdom, where the newlyweds would unify the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom.
And they lived happily ever after.
…...
Or at least…
That's what happened in Bowser's head.
The moment Bowser yelled out "MARIO?!", the plumber rushed ahead and delivered a mighty punch, pushing the Koopa King away. "Aaaargh!" Bowser groaned.
Mario cracked his knuckles. "You almost got away with it… but you didn't check the vents!" Mario said and then turned to the princess. "You alright?"
"I am now!" Peach smiled.
BOOM!
Right on cue, the rest of the group stormed on in. "Sorry to crash your wedding, Bowser… but we object to this union!" Marisa declared.
"Wait, Kairi? You're one of Peach's bridesmaids?" Sora asked in surprise.
"I was forced into it!" Kairi complained.
"Alriiiiight, I don't know about you…" Elise spoke up. "But I think this situation calls for a wedding riot!"
Isabelle, on cue, grabbed a Piranha Plant off the ground as she snipped off all the chains and freed up Banjo, Kazooie… and the cages full of Slimes as she then grabbed Kazooie and somehow revved her up like a chainsaw… and on top of that, Isabelle looked peeved.
"WEDDING RIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!" She screamed.
BGM: Riot (Hollywood Undead)
"That sounds good enough for me!" Ridley said as he let out a loud roar as he started making a mess… and then before everyone knew it, it turned into an all out brawl between everyone, leaving only the Mario Bros, Daisy, Reimu and Marisa while the bridesmaids, groomsmen and the maid of honor/best man went ahead and joined in the… uh… festivities.
"No no no no NO! This is not how it was supposed to go!" Bowser snarled.
"Too bad! We're going to kick your ass!" Marisa smirked.
"Bowser. Now would be a good time."
Bowser smirked. "You think you've won… BUT I GOT AN ACE UP MY SLEEVE!" He yelled, pulling off his hat and throwing it toward Peach, where it latched right on top of her.
"Ack!" Peach yelped, and then to their surprise… Bowser lifted up and went inside of Peach. "Aaaagh!"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Cappy yelled.
"Oh no…" Reimu whispered as Peach changed before them. Her hair turned red, spiky horns popped out of her head, a smaller shell appeared on her back, Peach's wedding gown ripped to reveal a black leotard.
"Peach…?" Mario walked over to her. "Please tell me you're not-"
"Peach" smirked, quickly rushing ahead and grabbing Mario by the throat, smirking. "It's Bowsette now, plumber!" She said, throwing Mario to the ground and kicking him to a wall.
"…Ya know, I think this would work better if this "Bowsette" turned out to be a sister of Bowser." Luigi said. "That said, HOLY MAMA MIA!"
"Did… did that just seriously…?!" Daisy would suddenly feel a sharp knee to her gut, making her hunch over as she was knocked into a wall as she would swiftly pick up Luigi and threw him into a stunned Reimu and Marisa.
"Heheheh.. HAHAHAHA! I'm a lot faster in this form!" She smirked.
"Your Bustiness!" Kamek approached her. "I would advise that you take your new body to the Dark Side of the Moon."
"Yes… this room is far too cramped for a fight like this." She chuckled. "You want Peach so bad? Come meet me at the Dark Side of the Moon. Not like it'll do you any good with this bod being fast enough to take you down!" She taunted as she ran off.
"Oooh, so zhat's what zhe kids would look like!" Medic mused, peeking out of the chaos that was ensuing.
Mario got up, shaking it off. "Rrrgh… so that's his plan, huh?" He growled as he pulled Cappy right off and threw him over to Sonic who was busy punching Wario.
"Ack!" Sonic yelped as Mario went inside of him, then the blue hedgehog turned around after gaining Mario's eyes and a mustache as he zipped past the others.
"Hey, wait up!" Daisy called out as they rushed after him where Mario was determined to finish this once and for all.
Just between you and me, I kinda prefer Bowsette in the RWBYverse compared to what I just did right now... but alas, gotta reference what originally was gonna happen in Odyssey, ya know?
Anyway, big fights next chapter!