Content warning: This chapter contains some pretty significant adult language and references to some rather dark stuff.
Chapter 28
Shikamaru eyed the grizzly sight before him – a half dozen corpses that were formerly human lay sprawled out on the road in front of him. Each victim showed considerably signs of post-mortem violence. You're getting impatient as a horny teenager, Hidan. He tested the nearest corpse – rigor mortis had yet to set in. "We're close, damn close. Rigor hasn't set in yet; this is less than an hour old!"
"That means we should be cautious," Kakashi warned. "Neji, Hiashi," he gestured to the others.
"On it," Hiashi answered as his eyes glowed intently.
"Shikamaru, no heroics, buddy," Choji spoke as he approached.
"No heroics, just death," Shikamaru replied
"I see him!" Neji hollered excitedly. "Half a click north, looks like he has a friend."
The information turned gears in Shikamaru's brain as he ran over the plan. Everything is ready; now is time to roll the D20. Despite having thoroughly planned their course of action, Shikamaru was not naïve enough to believe everything would go according to plan. Random shit could go wrong at any moment; there was also the off chance Hidan and his friend would develop a serious case of idiocy and fall right into the trap.
He turned to look at the eclectic group – Ino, Choji, Kakashi, Hiashi, Neji, and Temari. "All right everyone, I'm pretty sure this is it. Before we commit ourselves, anyone who feels this not worth it, now is your last chance to depart. I'll make no judgement, and I'll sign off a statement releasing you from this mission." No one raised a hand. "All right, your crazy bastards, let's go!"
As they entered woodland trail north, Temari walked beside him. She was dressed in traditional mission gear – black robes that left plenty of leg visible her fan, and a dark armored vest. "You know, your brother will feed me to Shukaku if something happens to you."
"I'd worry more about myself, love, he's gunning to kill you first," she reminded him.
"If he does…"
"Won't happen!" she angrily protested
"If for some reason…"
"Won't happen, dammit!"
"Temari, just know that I love you!" he huffed in frustration.
"Kids, you do you two need some space?" Hiashi laughed, as did Kakashi. Shikamaru turned to see Ino, Choji, and Neji all giggling silently.
Temari punched him playfully in the arm, "I love you, too, ya crybaby! Now how about some less talking and more kicking some grim-reaper ass!"
"Troublesome woman!" he huffed as they moved deeper into the woods.
Cold beads of sweat tickled down Temari's back and sides as they approached the clearing's edge. A quick check of intelligence photos on the Akatsuki revealed Hidan's partner: a fellow sadist named Kakuzu. The other man had a tendency to ensnare his victims, rip out their still beating hearts, and eat them. The effect of absorbing victims' hearts allowed the man to live inordinately long – apparently, he'd made an attempt on the first Hokage's life over a hundred years ago. All men must die, just make sure it's those filthy bastards and not anyone else here!
She personally understood Shikakmaru's reluctance to get others involved. Had their roles been reversed, she would have handcuffed him to the bed and done the mission solo. You also would probably be a corpse on the forest floor if you did this without backup. "Last chance to back out," he whispered.
"Not on your life, crybaby," she grinned, "let's get this son of a bitch!"
"Okay," he smirked as they burst through the bushes.
"Hey Hidan!" Temari shouted as they emerged in the clearing. Both Akatsuki men turned their eyes to her and Shikamaru. Temari kissed her fingers before provocatively posing and slapping her ass. "If Jashin wants some of this, tell him to come get it!"
"Nice one, troublesome woman!" Shikamaru chuckled from her lewd gesture. "Here they come!"
"Remember," she said pulling the fan out, "don't let him touch you," she winked, "only I get to do that!"
"You're so lewd!"
"Little girl, you're about to get down on your knees and repent for that little indiscretion," Hidan licked his lips as he approached.
"If you want a blowjob so badly, come get it!" Temari whipped her fan side to side, kicking up a violent whirlwind.
Hiashi hadn't seen true battle since the Third Shinobi War when he stole his twin brother's ID papers and shipped out with a frontline unit. He'd been a young man then, hot-blooded, and full of piss and vinegar. After years of abuse from his father, Hiashi thought killing would have come easily. The first encounter with the enemy had been violent and blood. When it was over, his pants were soaked in piss, his body covered in blood, and he cried like a baby that night when he got back to camp.
The same trepidation did not fill him this time as they charged at the ghoulish man accompanying their target. Both men were sadists and murderers – the kind of men who torched villages and killed for fun. They were a cancer on the world, and they needed to be excised if the world his granddaughter lived in was to know peace.
"Remember, son," he told Neji, "don't let them touch you, especially the one with the scythe!" They both charged at Kakuzu with gentle fist strikes at the ready. Neji swept low and he went high, but the target proved surprisingly evasive. Nevertheless, they were at least him away from Hidan.
A quick scan of the man's chakra network revealed multiple signatures resembling the normal chakra signature around the human heart. Hiashi counted one in the normal spot on the man's chest and four on his back. With multiple different chakra signatures, gentle fist might not be as effective as hoped! "Neji, hit and run only!"
Neji nodded an understanding, again going for a high flurry of strikes, while this time Hiashi locked on to an unguarded chakra node. NOW! Hiashi ducked a replying strike from Kakuzu, jamming his charged finger into the man's chakra node.
"AHHHH!" Kakuzu screamed as Hiashi overstimulated the node rather than block it. The viperish man dropped to his knees as the sensation of having molten metal poured down the leg assaulted the man's chakra network and nervous system.
"Kakashi!" Hiashi screamed as his opponent remained stunned.
"Suck on this!" Kakashi jabbed the man in the back with a high gauge syringe.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Kakuzu wheezed thrashed at them violently as Kakashi withdrew the blood-filled syringe. The man coughed up blood from a clearly collapsed lung.
"Neji, back!" Hiashi screeched as thin, grey tendrils shot from the man's body. They both barely dodged the attack of needle and thread-type projectiles shooting by.
"Enough of this!" a deep, boyish voice shouted as Choji used an enlarged fist attack to ram into the man.
Hot piss ran down Hiashi's leg as the target raised a single hand and stopped the strike dead in its tracks. As he shoved off the attack, Kakuzu staggered to his feet, took a deep breath, and smiled as IMPOSSIBLE! From the edge of the clearing, Hiashi's Byakugan took in Ino trying to invade the man's mind. Judging by the blood running from her nose and her painful grimace, she was unsuccessful. "He's too powerful!" she shrieked.
Kakuzu lunged at Hiashi, the grey tendrils knocking him to the ground and pinning him in place. "The stone-hearted Hyūga Clan Leader," Kakuzu stretched his hands in anticipation of hard use, "I think your heart and your eyes will make a great addition to the collection!" The man towered over Hiashi as the grey tentacle of thread restrained him. He reached out toward Hiashi's chest, beckoning his beating heart to escape its prison.
A bright flash reminded Hiashi all too well that despite the changing nature of the photograph Minato had of the future, none of its iterations featured Neji, Akemi, Hanabi, or himself. Is this how it ends? Do my baby girls grow up without me! The flash ended with a scuffle and the threads loosening. Kakashi had rammed his Chidori attack into Kakuzu's chest, staggering the man backwards. Not today! Hiashi released a sigh of relief as Neji aided him to his feet.
Temari's lungs burned as she sprinted through the woods as if the Shinigami itself were chasing her. She hated running like a frightened rabbit, but at least the asshole had taken the bait after she'd given him a good scratching with her wind scythe. Vain as ever that one!
"You ready for this?" Shikamaru heaved as he sprinted alongside her.
"Yes!" she resisted the urge to growl. Shikamaru was legitimately concerned for her well-being, not patronizing her. "Just promise me you are!"
"You bet your sweet ass, troublesome woman!" he winked as he stopped to make a stand. Temari ran on ahead to prepare phase two of the trap.
Shikamaru again felt the sudden urge to pee as Hidan closed the distance like a raging bull. That's right come get some, motherfucker! Hidan made a charging swipe with his scythe, and Shikamaru dropped to the ground, shooting out his right leg, and tripping Hidan. "ASSHOLE!" Hidan yelped as he charged face-first into a tree. The one drawback to being unkillable, you start getting sloppy!
Hidan turned to face Shikamaru, blood oozing from a broken nose. The man grasped his nose and pulled it back into position, screaming in the strange combination of both agony and orgasmic bliss. His ghastly work completed, Hidan spat out blood and grinned, "I've been waiting for this!"
Shikamaru didn't dignify the man's taunt with an answer; he slowly raised his right fist, extended his middle finger, and grinned wickedly. Hidan bared his shark's teeth and again charged in, dick-first. That's right, come a little closer! As he swung the scythe, Shikamaru surged forward, wrestling his hands over Hidan's. Gotcha now, you slimy bastard! Shikamaru locked his shadow with Hidan, turning the man into a marionette on strings. Shikamaru forced him to fling the scythe away harmlessly into the woods before raising an arm and balling up a fist. "Stop hitting yourself," he rammed Hidan's fist into his jaw. "Stop hitting yourself!" he balled up the other hand and mimicked the motion. Gleefully, Shikamaru drew back both of Hidan's fists.
"You little snot-nosed bastard! I'll splay your guts out and…"
Shikamaru bashed both fists into the man's mouth to cut off the words. "It doesn't feel so good, now does it?" Shikamaru glared. "Where is your precious Jashin now? Your false god is not with you, Hidan!" Shikamaru's shadowy tendril flung a kunai with a flashbomb tag attached to it, catching Hidan right between the eyes. The man's eyes peeled open wide as the sound of fizzing began and the tag exploded with a blinding flash and deafening POP!
"AHHHHHH!" Hidan screamed as a million-candela blast happened mere centimeters from his eyes. "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" he howled as the effects of flash blindness overwhelmed him. You might be death-proof, but you can still feel pain! Feel the pain you've caused, jerk-wad! Shikamaru began dragging Hidan toward the trap as the man howled like an injured beast. Time was critical; he had a good five minutes and had used at least two of them up!
Temari strung thin threads holding explosive tags over the designated target site. She worked delicately, not helped by the fact that her fingers were shaking violently. This is it! Either he goes down or we join Aiko sooner rather than later. The thought of her deceased friend renewed Temari's urgency. Shikamaru had brough Aiko's mangled corpse back to Suna almost a year ago now. At that time, no one knew what to make of the broad, post-mortem slash marks across the girl's abdomen and chest. Her autopsy was sure of one thing: she had been sexually assaulted.
The searing memory balled Temari's fist around the kunai as she jabbed it into the tree and threw its companion across the clearing. When she'd seen Hidan's scythe the first time, its unique design, she had no doubt he was the one who had killed Aiko. His vile personality also left no doubt that he was the one who had defiled her. Red, seething mist filled Temari's vision as she completed her work. Just in time!
Shikamaru came barreling into the clearing with Hidan in tow. She moved to her mark on the ground, and prepared herself for the curtain to go up. As Shikamaru stumbled to a halt, his face was red and raining sweat beads. Hidan struggled against the shadow tendrils restraining him. "You only have five minutes, tops, you little bitch!" Hidan growled as Shikamaru's grip slackened.
Temari's heart ran away in her chest. If Shikamaru was off by even a fraction of a second, he'd be dead, and she wouldn't be far behind. Hidan broke loose from the hold, pulled a long, jagged rod from within his sleeve, and slashed across Shikamaru. "AHHHHH!" Shikamaru stumbled back, a gush of blood erupting from a slash mark on his cheek. Please don't die, please don't die, PLEASE DON'T DIE!
As Shikamaru struggled to get to his feet, Hidan licked the tip of his jagged blade, savoring the taste of Shikamaru's blood. Grinning like the devil himself, Hidan stabbed himself with the long spike through the hand and drew a seal in the ground with his own blood. "You stupid fuck!" his body covered itself into a grim reaper-like, "I'm going to make you squeal like your worthless sensei!" Hidan drew back his long spike, "You wasted what he gave you in this life, may he never forgive you in the next, asshole!" Hidan drove the spike into his chest where the man's heart would be and screamed in both extreme pain and unholy pleasure.
"SHIKAMARU!" Temari screamed as her lover clutched his chest and doubled over with a terrified grimace. Now is the real test. She clutched her fan in one hand and a kunai in the other. If Shikamaru was truly dead, she'd take Hidan best as she could, but she'd use the kunai on herself before letting him defile her body. It's a good day to die!
Hidan stared at her with lechery in his eyes as the grim reaper appearance disappeared. "Now then," he smirked, "You're going to learn how to pray to me, down on your knees!" he stalked toward her slowly.
"Suck my dick!" she growled defiant. Temari stood her ground like a lioness meeting the challenge of a rival. One eye crept to Shikamaru. Please get up, boy! Hidan's large frame blocked any view of Shikamaru's face. She let out a slow breath and prayed silently that her boy would come as Hidan raised his spike overhead.
Shikamaru lay dead on the ground, staring lifelessly ahead. At least, he hoped that was how it would look. It took everything he had not to react to Temari screaming his name. She knew the game, but he had no way to signal her that everything was going according to plan. Shikamaru continued to lie still as Hidan obscured his view of Temari. "Now then, you're going to learn how to pray to me, down on your knees!" he man's pervy voice suggested what he planned on doing to Temari.
"Suck my dick!" Temari growled. My troublesome woman. Shikamaru watched Hidan extract the long jagged spike and knew it was time.
Shikamaru sprang to his feet, pulled a long knife in his belt, and slashed along the right side of Hidan's neck. "APRIL FOOLS, MOTHERFUCKER!" The blade carved through skin, muscle, and nerve as Hidan's right arm went limp, dropping his spike.
"GAAHHH, SONOFABITCH!" The reaper howled.
"Grow this shit back!" Temari took the opening to kick the man squarely in the balls with enough force to lift him an inch off his feet.
"You…" he wheezed, "… scroungy little fucks!" the pitch of his voice remained elevated. "I'll kill you both! I'll torture you both so slowly, you'll think it a career!"
Shikamaru once again restrained the man via his shadow, "I don't think so, not after I'm through with you," he said completely nonchalant.
"Do tell," Hidan pressed himself to his feet. "Five minutes is all you got, and I bet you wasted most of it!" Shikamaru dropped to his knee, feigning exhaustion. "What are you going to do now, shit for brains?"
"This," Shikamaru made the hand seal, "Shadow Summoning Technique!" Black tendrils of shadow shot from Hidan to the thin threads Temari had prepositioned throughout the clearing. Hidan was caught in a spider's web, and the web was now pulling the explosive tags strung up to his body.
"Do you think this is going to stop me!" Hidan laughed manically.
"Shut your filthy sewer!" Temari strolled up to Hidan and punched him in the throat before grabbing Hidan by the Jaw. "You're a dead man, and in Suna, we used to place coins, jewels, or other valuables in the mouths of the dead to pay off the horrible things they would say about the living." Temari pulled a small object from her pocket. "You remember the name Aiko Sasaki?"
"Oh yeah," Hidan replied, grinning, "I shanked her pink ass and she loved it!"
Shikamaru winced as Temari rammed a fist into the man's mouth before prying open Hidan's mouth. Temari brandished the object, wrapped in an explosive tag, "This was her badge," she forced it into Hidan's mouth, and it will pay for all the horrible things you'll have to say on the road to hell!"
As Temari stormed her way back to Shikamaru's side, he tossed his knife into a nearby seal concealed on the ground, and the ground beneath Hidan opened into a gapping maw ready to swallow the demon whole. Shikamaru delicately reached into his jacket pocket for his sensei's lighter. The metal was cold as ice and heavy as brick. It's my last piece of you; I'm sorry it has to end this way! "Jashin is no longer your god," he flipped the lighter's lid open, "I am!" Shikamaru flicked the lighter's flint, "I hereby condemn you to an eternity of damnation!" He flicked the lighter again, still not producing a spark.
A delicate but firm hand slid around his, and Temari's thumb joined his in flicking the flint striker. This time, a brilliant yellow flame erupted from the ornate lighter. Shikamaru exchanged glances with Temari as tears ran from her eyes; she nodded in affirmation. Together they tossed the lighter at Hidan, and they embraced each other as a bulwark against the resulting explosive shockwave.
When the blast finished, Shikamaru kept his arm around Temari as he walked to the edge of the prepared trap they had set for Hidan. Hidan, himself, was in pieces at the bottom of the pit. The blast from the tag Temari had placed in his mouth had blown Hidan's jaw away, but the remains of his face glared defiant to the predicament they were in. Shikamaru was no fool; the glare promised revenge – revenge that would never be realized. "This land was granted to my family by the Fire Daimyo; no one else is allowed to enter. None of your friends will ever find you!" Shikamaru spoke coldly, "Your last days will be spent all alone in the dark, buried alive."
Temari extracted an explosive tag from her pocket, and so did Shikamaru. They placed the tags atop pre-positioned explosives at the edge of the hole and ran to avoid the explosion. The blast sealed the entrance to the pit and buried Hidan under at least thirty feet of dirt and rock. "It's finished," he gasped, tears leaking from his eyes.
"You okay," Temari's hand planted itself on his shoulder.
"I just thought," he heaved, I'd feel better about having done that.
"It's not supposed to feel good, crybaby," she pulled him into her embrace. "If it felt good to you, that would make you no better than him." She tightened her grip around him, "Come on, let it out; it's over!" Temari herself began sobbing.
For several minutes, they just held each other, crying out the pain of the past weeks and months. "All right," he finally said, "enough sad shit; let's check on the others!"
Kakashi struggle to cut himself free from the countless threads ensnaring him and the others as Kakuzu restrained the group. "Looks like I have my choice of hearts to feast on," the vile man taunted as thousands more threads sprang from his body. His viperish green eyes locked with Kakashi's, "I think I'll eat yours first!" The tendrils ensnaring Kakashi began dragging him closer to Kakuzu as he struggled against the countless threads tugging at his body. Goddammit not like this!
"RASENGAN!" a trio of voices called out as a massive explosion ripped through the air, throwing Kakashi back several feet. As he reoriented himself, Kakashi spotted Naruto, Hinata, Minato, Sakura, Sai, and Yamato.
"We're saved," Choji breathed a sigh of relief.
"Hinata, you shouldn't be here!" Neji protested.
"This time, I'll protect you and father!" She made the hand seal and summoned a half-dozen shadow clones, "Ready, Naruto?"
Naruto nodded in kind, and summoned his own clones, "Ready."
"Watch out for the long threads off his body!" Kakashi warned, "Don't get entangled."
"All right, like we planned it!" Minato spoke as the group scattered. Minato and Yamato made wood-style attacks, launching massive tendrils of wooded vines at their opponent. As they did so, Hinata's clones ran interference as she began building her chakra into a Rasengan. Naruto's clones interspersed with Hinata's, forming a swarm to distract Kakuzu's tendrils.
Hinata went low, and Naruto leaped upwards, his attack larger, like the one he'd used in the prison. "RASENSHURIKEN!" The twin masses of energy hit simultaneously; Kakashi felt the concussive blast hit despite being almost fifty meters away. A blinding release of chakra floored him, and he prayed that Naruto and Hinata were both okay.
It took several seconds for the blast wave to end, but when it did, Kakuzu was flat out on the ground, the tendrils of threads disintegrated and the bizarre masks on his body shattered. Kakashi's heart stopped as he saw Naruto and Hinata sprawled out on the ground beside one another. OH MY GOD! "KIDS!" Kakashi yelled as he sprang upright and ran toward them. After guarding Naruto and Hinata his whole life, Kakashi would never forgive himself if they died. "Naruto! Hinata!" he yelled as he skidded to a stop next to them.
"Did we get him?" Naruto asked as he opened his eyes.
"Yeah, we got him! You okay?"
"I've been better," Hinata answered, "and I've been worse."
"Same," Naruto answered.
"Naruto, Hinata!" Minato and Yamato joined, as did the rest of the group.
"We're fine," Naruto replied, "Where is Shikamaru?"
"Right here," an exhausted voice spoke from behind the group. Kakashi turned to see Shikamaru and Temari walking over, arm in arm.
"I take it you were successful?" Kakashi asked.
"Yes," Temari answered, "he might still be 'alive', and I use that term loosely, for some time."
"What did you end up doing?" Naruto asked.
"Blew him up and buried him in a pit thirty feet deep under tons of rubble," Shikamaru sighed. "Did you find what you were looking for?"
"Yes," Naruto answered.
The old sage is alive, and two of the Akatsuki are dead. All in all, not a bad week! "Well does that mean we can go home now?" Kakashi asked.
Naruto tapped him on the arm and said, "We'll race you there!" as he took off in the direction of home with Hinata.
Kakashi exchanged a look with Minato, and they both shrugged. "You know, Minato," he said as they began walking, "Naruto is going to surpass you sooner rather than later," he teased.
"Good," Minato laughed, "then he can be Hokage and I can finally take a real vacation!"
"Speaking of," Temari joined in as they began chasing after Naruto and Hinata, "did you give any thought to my brother's invitation?"
"Tell him we'd be delighted," Minato said as they continued to chase Naruto and Hinata.
Author's notes: Hello everyone, I hope you enjoyed, and I thank you for reading. Have a great weekend, and I'll see you next week! Stay healthy, stay safe!