Author's Note: Here's an uber longer 10,000 word chapter after my week long break! 3 :) I worked really hard on this one and I'm super happy with it all! It's the entire Quidditch World Cup event! Sort of...
I hope you all like it too! :)
End of AN!
"Do you have everything? Your pin, bracelet, mirror - do you have your Cloak as well?"
"Yes, mum; I'll have it all on me. But...I won't really need it all, will I? It just seems like overkill!"
The day prior to the Quidditch World Cup, Harry was in his bedroom with his mother, organizing his things. Everything he'd packed for it so far.
Except...for this. This little dispute here.
Harry's mother gave him a look that made him blush, as he continued with, "I mean, this is one of the biggest international magical events in the world! There are going to be hundreds of Aurors and security officers from all over the world - and a lot of annoying security measures put in place too. Do you really think anybody would be stupid enough to try something there?"
His mother kept looking at him. "I think that someone like Voldemort wouldn't pass up on a prime opportunity to wipe out key members of his opposition, in the government, and in the more personal sense," she said, clear and simple. "And I also think that he wouldn't let the chance pass him by to cause chaos and mass death that would create panic and fear among all the nations. It would also give his reputation a boost on a global scale," she concluded, in afterthought.
"Well, okay," Harry said awkwardly. "If you really think that..."
"The larger the event, the more you can expect it to be a target," his mother stated flatly. "And I'm fully expecting it to be." She paused. "Not that I don't hope that nothing bad happens - but if anything does, I want us to be prepared at a moment's notice. And, even less than a moment. So, Harry: if anything happens, and we aren't together, you get under that Cloak and you hide, and you get as far away as possible. Only fight if you can't get away - and only fight to get away. I've spent two years now with you on dueling training, but even with that and your Occlumency training, it doesn't mean you can go toe to toe with the Death Eaters."
"Geez, thanks for the vote of confidence, mum..."
"Don't give me cheek about this, Harry. Not this."
"I'm not!" Harry said furiously. "But, I mean, you just spent two years - every day of summer, and every weekend of the school year - teaching me all of this, and now you're just out and saying it was all useless? What was the point, then, if you think I can't even do anything?"
"The point...is to give you a chance," Nagini said patiently. "More of a chance than the average teenager."
"You've been telling me I'm really good at this; I've even beaten you twice! I could take on a Death Eater," Harry said hotly. "They're not worse than you, are they?"
His mother stared at him in a deathly silence. She drew a long breath, and let it go. "Take your wand out - we're going outside."
"Why?" Harry said, even as he obeyed her.
They passed through an empty house - Sirius was out again, with Lupin.
His mother didn't answer him until they were out in the field - a good few dozen feet from the house. She stopped there, turned to face him, her wand in hand at her side. "You think you can fight them? Beat them? You can't. Maybe you can get lucky - a lucky hit, a distraction, a coincidence - but you're never going to win without that. You think you beat me twice because you were that good? After two years, Harry? I let you get those wins in, to teach you and to give you more confidence. But if I knew it was going to make you overconfident, I wouldn't have." She gazed at him very calmly. "I suppose I have to correct my mistake with you now - before this arrogance of yours gets you killed. I'm not going to have you recklessly throwing yourself into a fight with a Death Eater because you think you're that capable of winning."
"Yeah? Well I think you're wrong!" Harry said loudly, angry with her in a way he hadn't been in a long time. And hurt, from her words, like he hadn't been in a long time, too.
"Harry, you've seen me fighting all out before - for my life, and for yours - you know I've been seriously holding back against you in our sessions," his mother said quietly. "But, clearly, you need a reminder. I'm not going to hold back this time - not for a single second - except to try not to seriously injure you."
Harry felt a flash of fear. Of doubt. But he squashed it in a bout of reckless determination. So his mother didn't even think he was capable of doing this? She didn't think he could manage it? Had she thought that all this time - really? Harry was going to prove her wrong! "Right, sure. Go ahead!"
Nagini shook her head at him, and reached up to tie back her hair with a band she had conjured out of thin air - casually and without a word or a wave of her wand. "You go ahead, sweetie. Whenever you think you're ready."
Harry took a breath, trying to put his Occlumency into place. But he also tried to hold onto the anger and the hurt he still felt burning. It was those feelings that made him raise his wand, and cast the first spell at his mother while she was still doing her hair.
"Stupefy!" he shouted harshly.
In an instant, Nagini twisted and shrank, disappearing into the tall grass; Harry's spell flew across the landscape and dissipated.
Harry gripped his wand tight, staring hard at the ground all around him. "Diffindo! Diffindo, Diffindo!" he cried, slicing the grass apart furiously to uncover her - to find her!
He felt a single, hot breath of air on back of his neck, and something poked him in the lower back.
Harry fell unconscious as the stinging pain of a Stunning Spell burst across his backside.
He woke again after what seemed only a moment, a second and a heartbeat of time. Except he was flat on his back in the grass now, his wand loosely held in his palm.
His mother was standing in front of him - over him - staring down at him.
"That doesn't prove anything," Harry exclaimed, pushing himself up and jumping to his feet. "How many Death Eaters are secret animagi?"
"Peter Pettigrew," Nagini responded simply.
Pettigrew had been broken free from Azkaban during the same breakout as the others, two years ago now. Was back to serving Voldemort again (Harry had seen proof in a vision or two, things that had broken through when his Occlumency had been relaxed, his mind vulnerable).
"So, just one, then," Harry said.
"Try me again," she responded. "Try to be clever again."
At her tone, Harry felt ashamed of himself for a moment. Then, he just felt mad at her again. "Stupefy!" he rattled off, snapping his wand up.
Nagini twisted aside to avoid it easily, her wand arm raising as she twirled. She made a motion with her back to him, and completed the twirl to face him again. She slashed her wand at him so fast Harry barely processed it in time. A blue light burst from her wand tip. All of this was done in less than a second, and in a single, smooth motion, as if all pre-planned. The utterly certain, confident motions of a dancer, transitioning from one move into another flawlessly.
Harry brought up a shield between them, a floating half-circle in front of himself.
Nagini's spell struck his shield, and then the shimmering air itself exploded, gold particles drifting in the air to swirl around him. Harry stepped back, raising his wand again-
The particles settled onto his body, and he found himself unable to move!
A heartbeat later, and a jet of red struck him in the chest.
Harry woke up on the ground again. Significantly ticked off this time. And more determined than ever. "What the- what was that?!"
"What was it?" Nagini replied mildly.
"I don't know, that's why I asked! You broke my shield, but it also just...became something else? How? How am I even meant to defend against something like that?"
"I suppose...you just can't. Oh well," Nagini said casually.
"Stop that!" Harry cried furiously. "You're just- you're- you're being- you're being a-"
"The insult that you have in your mind right now, you'd better rethink letting it leave your mouth," Nagini cut him off sternly. But her eyes were already...
"You're being a huge twat!" Harry burst out maliciously, her warning egging him on further still - to defy her. Her and her mind-reading (for she had to have been doing it, in that moment - and Harry, similarly, wasn't Occluding at all in that moment).
There was a long silence between them; Harry felt instant remorse, at the way her eyes changed, the way her body sagged - her face lowered.
And that silence persisted, broken by nothing but the wind rustling the high grass and the nearby trees, scant as they were.
"M-mum, I'm s-sorry, okay, I just- I don't-" Harry started thickly. Then he stopped.
An irrationally fearful part of Harry (one well known to him by now) thought that his mother was surely about to raise her wand and cast something worse than a Stunner at him - but all she did was take a hitched breath, and turn her back to him.
"We'll finish this lesson tomorrow morning - you need to understand it, Harry," she said, very tight and controlled. "I need you to understand it before we go." She stowed her wand away, and strode back into the house.
The morning of the Quidditch World Cup was one of anxiety.
It wasn't because of the planning - his mother was always good about that (she had personally bought and enchanted a tent for them to stay in weeks ago, and had already packed all the food and clothes they could need, all of it placed into a space-expanded handbag) - but something else entirely.
Harry had visited Evelyn three times over the past week - making sure she still wanted to go, and making sure she was still doing all right in general. But, this final morning, the morning, he kind of had it in the back of his mind that...well, he would walk in and find her how he had twice before, over the last two years. How he never wanted to find her again.
Harry knew his mother and Sirius were thinking the same thing; Sirius wouldn't stop giving him looks and comforting squeezes, and his mother...well...
"I'll go in and talk with her first," Nagini told Harry firmly, in St. Mungo's lobby. "I need to check in with the Healers anyway, and make sure they know we're still taking her out for the next day or so - if she still wants to." She handed him the enchanted bag of all their things, and promptly strode off down the corridor deeper into the hospital.
Harry wanted to go after her, either forcefully, stubbornly, or sneakily with his Cloak (his mother always wanted him to keep it on him when not in the house, along with Dumbledore's protective pin) - but he knew she would rebuke either attempt...and seriously scold him for the latter method if he tried it. Especially after yesterday. She'd accepted his apology, and hugged and kissed him like always, told him she loved him, and they'd talked about how wrong he'd been to call her that word...but even still...even with Nagini of today acting no different from usual...
Harry couldn't shake the feeling that she would be different now if he tried anything like that. He felt as if he'd gone too far, way too far, yesterday. That it would finally push her into acting like...into being...Surely it would!
And he didn't want to push her any further.
So, Harry stayed put, against all his own instincts and worries, waiting with Sirius. Trying to use some of that patience his mother had only...partially succeeded in teaching him the past two years.
It was nearly ten minutes before those doors opened again, and Nagini emerged - with Evelyn at her side, drifting along in her enchanted chair.
Evelyn...didn't look like this was one of her better days - she had her hands in her lap, her head down, face hidden by a curtain of disheveled, long dark hair - but the fact that she was out here at all was still something. Something good.
Harry hoped he could help get her to enjoy herself over the course of the event!
"Hey," Harry said cautiously - lightly.
Evelyn's head shifted a few inches, but she didn't even look up. Her right hand squeezed the fingers of her left. Harry noticed her wand was beneath her left hand. "Hey..." came the near inaudible, mumbled reply. Toneless.
Definitely...a not so good day, Harry thought, his throat tight. It was always one of the worse signs when she wouldn't even look at anyone. He knew why, he knew...he knew all about her, he knew her troubles here, he knew...
But he also knew it was so hard to see. And even more than a little frustrating. She'd been so good lately! Fun to be around, so happy, so vibrant. And now, on the final day, the day of, she was being...
This version of herself again.
Harry stepped in closer to her and stroked her arm briefly. He tried to smile. Let it be heard in his voice for her. "You know, Susan and Tamara are going to be there, too - Tamara's parents are really excited about the whole thing, and to meet you. We can all hang out together before school starts up again. Play some games, talk, eat really bad food..."
"Yes..."
Harry swallowed, and gave her arm another stroke before letting his hand slide down to grasp hers.
She looked up at him at last, then down to their hands. Her eyes opened wider, her cheeks held a pink tinge. A flicker of a smile graced her lips.
"We're going to be apparating in a moment here," Harry told her, nodding to her other side, where Nagini was grabbing hold of Sirius. Nagini then gently took hold of Evelyn's other arm.
Evelyn stared at him, her mouth going neutral. Her eyes partially closing again. She let her head drop. "Right...apparating..."
Harry saw his mother share a strange look with Sirius, but then it was gone as she furrowed her brows in total concentration.
Apparating was hard for the average mage - harder still to do it with multiple people, side-along. And even harder to do it and bring along a large object like an enchanted hoverchair. Most would say far too risky and even near impossible. At the very least, entirely not worth it.
But Harry's mother wasn't average - far, far from it - and more to the point, she had years of experience with Side-Along apparition, and even taking objects with her. Intense years of warfare, honing skill and growing power, to a level Harry was still in awe of to this day - and frustrated by, during dueling sessions with her. He hadn't properly beaten her even once (without her letting him, for practice or example, or encouragement; he'd been forced to admit it to her this morning, after another floundering thrashing at her wand). And even though she had taught him both how to duel, and how to apparate consistently enough by now on his own (sometimes he still lost things, and was grateful to have her on hand to fix it for him), he still couldn't combine the two like her.
Harry hoped someday he would get on her level, though.
Because her level was incredible.
So it was that after a full minute, the world shifted for the four of them, in familiar suffocating darkness.
As soon as they reappeared, Nagini was looking them all over with keen eyes of worry. "Is everyone all right?" she spoke.
"Just fine, thank you," Sirius told her, grinning.
"Fine..." Evelyn muttered.
"I'm fine, too," Harry added.
Relief showed in his mother's face. "Let's get ourselves a place to set up camp, then," she said, gesturing ahead.
"We should probably set up near the edge of the campgrounds," Sirius suggested. "If anything happens, we'll be far out of the way of it - and hopefully able to make a quick enough getaway if it comes to it."
Nagini smiled at Sirius. "You read my mind."
"And here I thought that was impossible, given your proficiency with Occlumency," Sirius laughed. "I guess I surprise myself sometimes."
"You're definitely too clever for your own good," Nagini said humorously, shaking her head at him as she took the lead toward the campgrounds.
Once they had gotten themselves all set up, Harry went out with Evelyn through the campgrounds, in search of friends.
They ran into plenty of people familiar to them - classmates of Hogwarts, Housemates from Hufflepuff, too (all of whom were surprised to see Evelyn out and about again - and also pleased to see her again, for first time in two years now!) - but none of them were the people they really wanted to meet.
They even came across someone Harry really wasn't sure what to feel about.
Draco Malfoy.
The pale, skinny boy was very subdued, walking alongside a tall woman of black hair and sharply beautiful features - and another, very lively young woman in early twenties with shockingly pink hair in a style of curls and tresses extravagant.
Malfoy looked at Harry, then immediately looked down at his feet, his fists curling. The tall woman at his side gripped his shoulder, casting a soft look Harry's way - giving a small nod.
Harry knew who she was: Andromeda Tonks. A cousin of Sirius's (his "favorite" cousin - which wasn't a hard bar to clear, when the other choices were Bellatrix and Narcissa). She had taken Malfoy in, adopted him after his parents' deaths. He'd seen her around the school a few times over the last two years; most prominently during the times when Malfoy had tried to attack him over what had happened to his parents. But Andromeda, Nagini, and Dumbledore had all gotten that sorted out, thankfully, and no incidents had occurred since then.
In fact, Harry and Malfoy tended to just act like the other didn't exist at all.
As that was their standard mode of behavior when around each other, Harry stuck to it even here, and just turned around and went the other way, with Evelyn trailing after him.
Not a word said.
Nothing of the feelings inside Harry. The irrational, stupid guilt he still felt, even after everyone, from Nagini to Andromeda to Dumbledore, had told him years ago that it wasn't his fault that Draco had lost his parents. If anything, Nagini had told him, it was her fault for actually killing them - not Harry's for needing to be rescued from them.
Harry thought, that if he still carried a stupid guilt in him over it to this day...that Nagini had to, too. Probably a lot worse, for her.
He sighed and maneuvered between the tents, around the groups wandering, casting spells and having fun. Laughter and talking all around, exuberant and loud.
They encountered more classmates, before finally running into the two they were hoping to.
Susan and Tamara were together outside a tent, with three people who had to be their parents - a woman who looked strikingly like a much older Susan (with, Harry noted, a rather enormous bust), and two men standing close, hand in hand (maybe late twenties; one with scruffy blond hair and light facial hair, and the other, clean shaven with long auburn hair in a ponytail). Both men were wearing absolutely muggle clothing - jeans, t-shirts, sneakers. It made them stand out like a sore thumb amidst all the robes and tunics and such (especially the more magically enhanced clothes).
But neither seemed to mind. They seemed like they were enjoying having so much magical things to look at, in fact - all so casually on display here, at this massive gathering.
Harry stared at the men in surprise and curiosity. Not once had Tamara - or Nagini, for that matter! - ever told him she had two men for parents. Two fathers. He supposed it wasn't any different from himself, he thought: he had two mothers, after all - only, they weren't both alive at the same time. He would have been overjoyed if they could have been, though - if he could have had both mothers together in his life. He was happy for Tamara, to have two fathers in hers. And he rather liked seeing a different kind of family, personally. It was certainly far different from the Dursleys!
Tamara walked up to him, signing rapidly and excitedly, with crushing hugs thrown in-between it all - of him and Evelyn.
Evelyn squirmed and went rigid in her chair, but she let Tamara do it, and she even gave a little bit of a smile afterward, waving a hand at the girl. "Hey," she said softly. "Good to see you again, too."
Harry fell naturally into sign language with Tamara, greeting her - over the last two years of daily, hours of practice with her, he'd gotten really good at it. Almost mastered it, he'd have said. "Hi. Are these your parents?" He gestured to the men, who were watching him and Tamara's exchange closely.
"Yes," Tamara replied happily, signing quickly after scanning the floating words in front of her - and her vocal aid tool translated her response into spoken english, in that monotone feminine voice that still didn't at all fit Tamara herself. Harry had no need for it these days, though Tamara obviously still did. "These are my dads - Derek and Jace." Derek was the blond-haired one; Jace, the ponytail styled man. She turned toward her fathers excitedly, grabbing at Harry's arm and tugging him forward. "This is Harry - and that's Evelyn!"
Tamara's parents looked at each other, then smiled at Harry. "It's nice to finally meet her friends," Derek said warmly, stretching out a hand to Harry.
Harry took it, shaking it lightly before letting go. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Wilkes. And - erm - Mr. Wilkes?" He flushed, looking to the other man with apology and embarrassment.
"Please, even if we shared the same last name, I'd be asking you to call me Jace," the man said lightly. "And you can just call my husband Derek - we don't mind at all."
"Err- okay. Jace," Harry agreed.
"And it's good to meet you, too, Evelyn," said Jace, looking to her but not moving to shake her hand (neither man did). Though, he did smile at her. Harry got the feeling the man had sensed Evelyn wasn't one for physical contact - or conversation - with others. Evelyn wasn't exactly hiding it, though.
Evelyn glanced up, then down again. "Good to meet you," she murmured.
Susan and Tamara looked at her - then at Harry. They all looked at each other. Swift signs were exchanged in a silence.
Susan gave a frown and a nod. Then she smiled and gave a sidelong look at her mother, who had been standing patiently. "Well, this is my mum, Harry - Evelyn. I'm happy you get to meet her today finally."
"I'm happy to meet both of you," the woman said kindly, confidently. "Call me Mrs. Bones, please."
"Of course," Harry said. "It's nice to meet you."
Evelyn nodded, her head down still. "Nice to meet you..." she echoed, muttering it out. Her hands were twisting in her lap, running up and down her arms.
"Erm- so- when did you all get here?" Harry asked quickly, gazing around himself at his friends and their families.
"Not too long ago," Tamara signed, quick and casual as well. "An owl delivered a Portkey to our house - it was an incredible experience!"
"By incredible, she means awful," Jace laughed, miming vomiting. He shared a look with Tamara, and gave his daughter's hair a good ruffling. "The things we do for you, honey..."
Tamara laughed too, loud and in her own way she had. Mrs. Bones looked a little embarrassed, staring at the girl before composing herself.
Harry and Susan laughed with Tamara, though, sharing in it.
Evelyn gave a tiny smile, head rising briefly to reveal it in the sunlight.
Harry was more hopeful than ever that this was going to be really good for her. The sun, friends - all of it. She really needed this (and she wanted it). She deserved it.
And it boded really well for her return to Hogwarts soon, too!
"So, Harry, where are your family?" asked Derek casually - but with a real interest.
"Way over there." Harry turned to point, grinning a little. "My mum - she really wanted to be on the outskirts, with our tent. My godfather, too."
"And yours, Evelyn?" Derek spoke, turning to her.
Evelyn startled in her seat, her hand clasping her wrist in a death grip. Fingers digging into flesh. Her head hung further, her whole body shrinking in on itself even more. Her hair spilled down to curtain her, the ends piling in her lap.
There was a silence, in which about everyone stared at her, and her severe reaction.
"I- I'm sorry if it was an insensitive-" Derek began.
"No." Evelyn's head came up, her face revealed to the light and world again. Her eyes were blank, her lips were flat, neutral. "They're dead," she said, just as flatly. "And it's my fault."
The silence and discomfort shot up another twenty degrees.
"I'm sure it wasn't-" Derek started quietly, eyeing her with compassion.
"Yes it was; I did it."
Another hundred, Harry observed.
"Look, Evelyn, let's go see about some food or something!" he said firmly, reaching to grab her upper arm and turn her around.
Evelyn looked at him sharply, her hand half raising for his - then she dropped it. She nodded, lips pressed tight. "Okay."
Why had he thought to bring her along again? Maybe...maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, Harry thought.
Harry let her go quickly, and started off away from their friends. He waved back to them, thanking them, and saying he hoped to see them again later.
Evelyn followed close to him. So close that her motionless feet in their stirrups kept bumping him in the buttocks.
Harry got a bit irritated with it after a point, and stopped, turning back to her. "Could you not float so close to me? You keep kicking me in the rear!"
Evelyn looked at him, silent. Expressionless. Her cheeks took on a pink tinge, and she glanced down into her lap.
"What?" he said, confused completely by her reaction. It wasn't at all what he'd expected.
Evelyn's lips worked. Then- "But it's a nice rear..."
Harry's brain ground to a halt. "What?" His face was burning about as hard as hers now!
"Nothing..."
"No, you just said-" Harry started, determined.
Evelyn ducked her head again. "No I didn't."
"Yes you did!"
"Didn't..."
"Evelyn-"
"Just keep walking for me, okay? We were going to get food..."
Harry stared at her. Then he threw up his hands and whirled away, striding off again.
Had she just seriously...complimented him on his bum?!
It was weird, it was out of the blue, it was- it was- was it?
And why was it making Harry feel-
Extremely. Uncomfortable.
Harry quickened his pace and threw a glance back at Evelyn - and he caught her eyes peering in a very downward place. Definitely not just his back.
He met her gaze, stopping - but not fully turning toward her.
She met his, panic and embarrassment crossing her features, and then she looked hard into her own lap.
"Evelyn...what're you doing?"
"I said nothing. Just - walk..."
"Why? So you can eye up my arse again?" Harry retorted, sarcastic. But not untruthful.
"I wasn't..."
"Yes you were."
"No I wasn't."
Harry growled. "I'm not doing this with you again. Why were you just-"
"Sorry, okay? I won't do it if you don't want me to."
Harry stared at her. "Oh my- you're doing it right now! Evelyn, my face is up here, for god's sake!"
Evelyn squirmed in her seat, pressing her legs together and glancing up at his face. She seemed to force herself to keep his gaze. "Sorry," she said, clear and distressed. "Really."
Harry sighed. "Whatever - I forgive you. Just- cut it out, would you?"
"Okay. Sorry," she repeated.
Harry thought it was weird. He thought it was weird of her. He thought it made him feel embarrassed. He thought it made him feel...so, so uncomfortable. But he also felt like it made him feel...
He didn't exactly like telling her to stop it.
Probably the same part of him that was making him keep his back to her - and was making him desperate to find a place out of sight of anyone else too.
It was all just too- much. Too conflicting inside him, honestly.
Harry really, really had to talk to his mother soon.
After mingling with his friends for a few hours, and then attending the Quidditch match (which Ireland won), Harry waited impatiently as he watched his mother conversing with Tamara's fathers and Mrs. Bones.
Finally, his mother broke off from them, returning to his and Sirius's side.
Harry peered at her face intently as they began the long walk back to their tent.
She didn't not notice it. She stopped, looking him in the eye. "What is it, sweetie?"
Harry dithered on the spot, glancing down and away. "I- erm- could I talk to you...alone? I- I mean- after we get back to the tent?"
"Of course," she said instantly. He saw the worries in her eyes, probably all awful things blown out of proportion. It still made Harry feel bad about it. He always felt bad about it...
His mother shared a look with Sirius.
Sirius stepped away from them with a nod. "I'll go see if I can't find Remus - he did say he'd do his best to show up here. Whether he has or not..."
"Thank you," Nagini said simply, nodding back.
Sirius disappeared into the dark and celebrations - booming fireworks in the sky, laughter and drunken cheers abound.
Harry felt a little more...relieved about things now.
He continued on with his mother until they got to their tent.
She led the way inside, shutting the door and solidifying it into a state as hard as concrete with an absent flick of her wand. Of course, that seemed like overkill to Harry, considering the half dozen over protective and privacy enchantments she'd put around their tent already.
But in this situation, Harry was glad of the overkill for once, he decided.
His mother moved across the polished wood floor to seat herself on the little sofa before the fireplace.
Harry moved to sit with her, hands in his lap.
"What's going on, Harry?" Nagini spoke, soft and simple.
"Well...I- erm- I don't know how to even...it's really..." Harry flushed intensely, squirming. "It's- Evelyn," he managed, feeling stupid about it all. And more nervous. And embarrassed.
"What about her?"
"W-well, she...uhm...I mean I..."
Nagini just sat there, watching him.
Why in the hell had he ever thought talking to his mother about this was a good idea?
"You know how- you- you've told me that when you were m-my age you..." Harry stopped. Started again. "You used your snake form to- sort of- do- you know...really inappropriate things towards other people?"
Nagini drew a breath, giving a single, tight nod. Her expression was utmost serious. "Yes...Harry, if you've done something inappropriate like that-"
"No, not me!" Harry said firmly. He didn't want her thinking he was here for a confession or something! "I didn't - Evelyn did!"
His mother's face changed. It became, if possible, even more tight and serious. "Evelyn...did something inappropriate to you, sweetie?"
Harry looked at her face, then away. He shrugged. "I mean- no. I don't know? It was kind of weird and- but I mean...I might've- might've...l-liked it a bit? I don't know! That's why I'm talking to you about it! You've already been through all this! You- you know stuff!"
His mother let her breath go. She nodded again, shifting in her seat. "Alright," she said lightly. "It's good that you came to me about this. We are talking about it - we will. First, I'd like you to tell me exactly what happened."
So Harry told her, haltingly and with much a hot face.
Nagini simply listened, prompting him here and there.
After Harry was finished with his story, he just sat there staring into the fireplace. Waiting for her to give him the answers to sort this mess out.
"So, Evelyn was staring at your bum and gave it a compliment - you asked her to stop - and she did, and you're not sure whether you even enjoyed it or not."
Harry gave a single nod.
"That fits," Nagini murmured. She shook her head. "Have you noticed how she's been acting toward you lately, Harry? In general?"
"Erm...no?"
"All right..." Nagini drew a breath. "She's either romantically or sexually attracted to you - possibly both."
"W-what? Come on, mum. She's not! She's just- weird from all that time in the hospital..."
Nagini just looked at him. "Harry, you had health and sexual education courses at your muggle school before. We talked about these things then, and we did again just about a year ago now - specifically, the subject of self-pleasure," his mother went on casually - to Harry's burning mortification at her so casual use of the words 'self-pleasure.' "But, with how Evelyn is behaving, I think we need to have a much more comprehensive talk. One focused more toward the broad areas of comfort and consent, and the sharing of pleasure with others, rather than the self."
"Comprehensive...sharing of- mum! No, come on, can't we just- she's not even-! She was just looking and-"
"She kissed you two months ago, she dresses up for you whenever you visit her, she adores your every look and touch - and she was very prone to staring at your rear end," his mother listed off. "I should have been talking to you about this months ago - I shouldn't have let things even get to this point without talking to you about this sort of thing - I'm sorry I haven't."
"I'm not."
His mother gave him a look again.
"Sorry..." Harry said meekly. "I just- I mean- she's really not..." He fell silent, flushing.
"How do you feel about how she acts toward you lately?" his mother asked. "We talked a little after that kiss - you said it was 'fine.' Let's talk about it again. And about today's incident. Does it make you uncomfortable? Are you enjoying it - mentally, or physically? Is it- pleasurable to you? This is why we need to discuss this together: to make sure that if you're not, you can tell her to stop. And if she won't stop...I can help make sure she does. Or, if you just want to sort out your feelings about it, it's helpful to talk about it. That's what we've always done, Harry, and this is no different."
"I-" Harry began, looking away. "I mean- okay, yeah, I- we've talked a bit already about...stuff like that. And, yes, she- when she's been kind of- it's made me- maybe feel...I mean not feel, but- y-you know...bodily..."
"You mean you get physically aroused by her."
"Mum!"
"This doesn't have to be embarrassing for you. I'm here to help you - we're just talking, Harry, like always." His mother paused. Then added in reminder, "You came to me, remember?"
"Yeah, but...this is all different. And I almost wish I hadn't come to you with it," Harry added thoughtlessly.
"It is different from the usual homework and dueling lessons," Nagini acknowledged, taking a breath. "But that doesn't mean you have to be discomforted by it. I don't want you to be. We need to be able to discuss these things as thoroughly and openly as we do anything else. For your safety, and your health, Harry; that's why they call it health education, not just plain sex. You need to sort yourself out, and I'm here to help with that. Alright?"
Harry flustered at her blatant use of the word "sex." He was really really regretting this. "O-okay...yeah, I guess..." he muttered out.
"Good. So, Evelyn has been making you feel-"
"Don't say aroused again!" Harry whined.
"Why not? It's natural and normal - do you think I don't get aroused sometimes, too?" his mother said conversationally.
"I- of course I- why'd you put that image in my head?! I k-know you do - I mean, you're a person and stuff - we talked about it, yeah!" Harry choked. "Girls and boys get- we do- to ourselves- yeah. It happens! I know! Thank you!"
"It does. And you are a person, so: do you get aroused by Evelyn or not?" His mother grinned at him, in a way she rarely ever did. "Well, isn't that what you were getting at?"
Harry made strangled cat noises, then he dropped his head and gave a nod. "Y-yeah - fine," he uttered quickly. "That. I...I do. I did. Today, and- when she kissed me two months back. I told you then, about it...at least..."
"You did. Alright. Do you feel like that's a good thing? Do you like it? And do you...feel anything for her in return? Romantic, or sexual?"
"Erm...I m-mean, you just said- I said she- you know- my- body feels..."
"You did," she agreed. "But that doesn't mean you enjoy it. The body reacts to stimulus, Harry, regardless of how we feel about it in our minds and souls. If you're not liking what Evelyn is doing...you can say so. If you're uncomfortable, you can say so. Just because your body did one thing, doesn't mean anything about your mind."
"I- I do- enjoy it-" Harry stammered quickly. "It wasn't just my body. I mean, I'm pretty sure. But, I...d-don't think of her like- like a girlfriend or something," he rushed out. "I don't think so, anyway. Just the-"
"Just sexually, then?"
"Y-yeah..."
"Alright."
Harry sat silently, blowing a breath.
"So, you aren't attracted to her as well?"
"I- just told you, didn't I?"
"Arousal is different from attraction - but still related. Sexual versus romantic. I'm talking personality, her whole being-"
"I said don't-!" Harry started.
"Arousal."
"Stooop."
"I'm going to say it until you can stop flinching at it - and blushing."
"You're going to have to say it a billion times over, then. Hope you can take big breaths."
His mother laughed. "So be it, then."
Harry glared, then looked away again. "I don't know. I like being- close to her- I like- but...I'm not sure about anything else."
"So you do just enjoy looking at her - and her looking at you?" his mother reiterated.
"Yeah...I mean she's always been p-pretty," Harry admitted, staring hard at the wall.
"And beyond pretty? Is there anything more - how she makes you feel? Besides aroused?"
"Err...possibly," Harry admitted. "When she- dresses up or- the way her hair just- sparkles and her eyes, when she's happy, she- and that- the top she had on yesterday made her look-" He stopped himself, ducking his head and giving a glance at his mother. She was just sitting there, staring at him with a small smile on her lips. He regathered himself. "Yeah...I guess I'm kind of- more than just her-"
"More than just what?"
"What?"
"You can keep talking - you're doing very good with this. Come on, tell me; I told you we're doing this so you can sort out your feelings. Part of that is vocalizing them. You know that by now."
"Y-yeah but- I can't vocalize this..."
"Of course you can - do you think I'm going to tell her? Or be shocked at anything you have to say? Anything you've thought of, Harry, I can confidently say I've heard before - and even thought myself about others, when I was your age. Probably even more crass things," his mother added honestly - and not entirely unashamed.
"I don't think you'd tell her, but..."
"Go on, Harry. Say what you think - unfiltered, for once in your life; I'm giving you my full permission. I'm your mother, and this is always going to stay between us."
"I- I j-just mean- that she...looks more than pretty, she- her- more than how her body looks- her, erm, you know...breasts or her...?" Harry whispered, glancing at her face in mortification and unbridled terror.
"I know breasts," she said simply. No change in expression. Just that smile, that patience of hers. Maybe a little touch of amusement, too, which made Harry want to die inside.
Harry really still felt like she was patronizing him. He glanced unwittingly at her chest and away again. "Y-yeah - right! But...that's different."
"It is, in this context. And? Keep going."
"Well...I don't know!" Harry burst out, face burning. "Just - yeah - I like looking at her, okay? Like you said! And I liked it when she kissed me, and when she looked at me from behind, I guess I did like it - just wish she hadn't done it in front of everyone, and made me get all- you know- you know - and I like how when she lays with me she- she just presses herself and gets all...I like that. But it's also not just- my body- my-"
"She's been pressing up to you? You two still lay together - at the hospital?"
Harry gulped. "I- um..."
"Harry...I'm not mad - I just need to know. I need all the information so that I can help you sort through all of this," Nagini said firmly. "Tell me about this."
"I- I mean-"
"You're certainly not twelve anymore; it's to be expected," his mother said, in a calm voice. "But you never told me about this."
"Well, I mean- sorry? I just told you now, right?" Harry offered, with a feeble grin.
His mother seemed to be barely restraining herself from rolling her eyes - or giving a great sigh. Maybe both. "You are..." she uttered, controlled. "Good. Tell me more."
"W-well, there's not much else to it?" Harry said honestly, quickly. "I mean she just- when we hang out at her room there, she likes to- just- be comfortable with me. We- just lay down, you know? Talk and stuff. Sometimes we don't even talk. She just...likes it when I'm there for her. But...yeah, lately, I guess she's been- doing other stuff."
"What other stuff?" An edge to her voice now.
Harry blew a breath, looking away.
She sighed. "What other stuff?" she repeated quietly. "Come on."
"Well...it's nothing serious or- she just- kind of presses up to me and- you know- cuddles? Kind of like you do with me. Except...you know...when you do it I don't get all-"
"Aroused? Yes you have - I've noticed, the last few months - and it's perfectly fine."
"Mum, come on!" Harry cried. "I do not!"
"Oh yes you do," his mother snorted, shaking her head. "And, well, if you'd like me to rephrase it, I can put it another way."
"Yeah, do that, please."
"Your penis gets harder."
"I- y-you- mum- I didn't- mean...I'm not talking to you anymore!" Harry pushed himself to his feet, striding away.
His mother stood, too. "Harry, I'm sorry. But if we can't be factual about this, and we can't be crassly casual about it either, then how do you want to talk about-"
"I'd rather we just stop talking altogether!"
"We can't, Harry. This is important. I told you. You're going to have to suffer this conversation a while longer - whatever form it takes."
"Well- you could make it easier for me, you know!" Harry said, wheeling back toward her.
His mother was standing there before him in the orange glow, looking...very uncertain. Her head was down, and a hand had reached across her waist for her other arm. Harry hadn't seen her like this ever. "I'm doing my best already - but alright. Tell me how you'd like this to be easier. Please. And come sit down."
Harry sighed, following her and sitting down again. "I don't know," he admitted glumly beside her.
She turned to him, patting his hand. "Well, we're just going to have to keep at it until it becomes easier for you. Simple as that, sweetie."
"Sure...fine. J-just- don't- mention- penis again. Ever."
"I'm going to have to - especially when you want to start having sex. Or even just escalating past this current stage of yours."
"That's not for a few years, you don't have to! I'm not stupid, okay?! I remember those lessons; I'm not going to go having- s-sex with her, making- b-babies or- with her! I'm not a total idiot!"
"It's still relevant now, Harry - so, yes I do. And while I'm happy to hear you say that you wouldn't do that yet, it's still possible that you two could get carried away. There's more you could start doing, things besides just sex. Evelyn already seems to have a bit of an idea about it - of course, she's spent the last two years growing up in a hospital," his mother concluded.
"Well - my penis isn't relevant to any of that!"
"Oh, it's still very relevant, sweetie," she reiterated. "There are all kinds of things people can do together besides putting the penis in the vagina-"
"AGH!"
His mother sat there, looking at him in silence. Waiting for him to compose himself - and probably to stop glaring at her for what she had just said. Then, she spoke again. "So, getting back on track: you do feel something for her, more than just physically?"
"Yeah," Harry agreed, reluctant. "It's- her smile, her eyes, her hair, it's...when I make her happy, when she's just happy on her own, it's- I love seeing it. Not just because it means she isn't...I love seeing her- her whole- her. You know what I mean?"
"I do," Nagini said, smiling. "And that's what I mean as well, sweetie."
"Okay. Great, then! Yeah...then I guess I'm both, when it comes to her. The- physical and the...other stuff." Harry hesitated. "But - I mean - I'm still not sure if that even means I want her to be a girlfriend or something. Even with...is that okay?"
"Of course it's okay," Nagini said simply. "You can feel anything you want toward someone, and it still doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to. Because...they're always just feelings - until you act on them."
"Okay. Good! Thanks."
Nagini patted his hand again, her smile growing warmer. "So, when you've been with Evelyn lately, do you do anything besides snuggling? Does she do anything to you besides pressing to you?"
"What?" All of Harry's good feelings just went poof. Gone. Now he was back to floundering.
"It's important, Harry - seriously. If she does anything more with you, and you don't like it-"
"No! She's never done anything- besides just- the rubbing stuff. And I said I was okay with that! I like it."
His mother looked absolutely exasperated with him. "You said it was just pressing, not rubbing! Harry, what are the actual, full details of what you've been doing with her? I mean it!"
"Nothing! I really mean it! Just- she sort of- presses and- her- breasts- rubs...she kind of rubs them against me sometimes? But that's it! That's really really all she does!" Harry exclaimed.
His mother was almost glaring. Then she sighed. "Alright. So she never puts her hands anywhere on you? Your arms, your chest, legs? Butt - crotch?"
"Muuuum...don't talk about things like that! You can't talk about my b-bum!"
"Why not? It's a cute one, according to her. And at least I didn't say penis again - like you wanted."
"You just did!"
"I'm sorry - well?"
"No! She's never- done- anything like that."
"I wouldn't be- necessarily upset if she was - or if you were - as long as you're both liking it, and understanding it, and being safe and healthy about it," his mother went on slowly. "God knows I went far in my explorations when I was around your age. Sometimes too far, admittedly. But if she is, we need to talk to her about it as well. Her caretakers, too. To make sure that you two don't go too far."
"She doesn't - we d-don't need to tell her anything! You said it was between us!" Harry accused, panicked.
"For now, Harry, but some things do involve her - she's very involved already. But not...to the level that I think I need to talk to her yet," his mother added firmly, reassuring.
"Good!"
"But you should talk to her about it - liking it or not."
"What?! Why, if there's no problem?"
"Because it's normal and healthy to communicate, Harry - even between friends. And especially...for things like this. You both need to sort out your feelings, and find where you stand with one another on it. You don't have to tell her to stop, but you do need to give her a chance to figure out if she wants to stop - to give herself a second thought, that she most...definitely is not having right now, with all of her hormones flooding through her body."
"I can't just-"
"You will. Not now, not yet, but I am telling you to do this, Harry. It's so, so important."
"Okay...fine. I'll- next time I visit her...at St. Mungo's." Harry was grateful Evelyn's room was soundproofed to hell and back. "But not now."
"Good. Thank you. So, have you ever done anything like that to her? Or anything like what she's done to you so far? Have you pressed back against her, rubbed on her? Touched her anywhere - her breasts, butt, vulva?"
"N-No! Never. I just kind of...let her do what she wants," Harry murmured. "'Cause, like I said - it feels- nice, and she likes doing it! She really...relaxes...when she- starts doing that..."
"I bet," his mother muttered. "Okay...and you're sure you like any of it? You're comfortable letting her?"
"Yes."
"One hundred and fifty percent?"
"Yes..."
"Two hundred?"
"Yes!"
"Five hundred?"
"I said yes! I'm okay with it!"
"Alright. I just need to be sure. And so do you. If even a tiny part of you doesn't want it, you can tell her to stop. Any time, anywhere. Even if you start to feel that way later, you can still tell her. Never feel guilty or bad for doing so. Ever."
"I got it, I know - all of that body autonomy and respect, consent stuff! We talked about it; I remember, you know!"
"I'm glad you remember."
"I wish I didn't remember all the other stuff, though - don't say penis again!"
"How about arousal, then? Or: vulva - are you used to that one yet?" His mother eyed his wincing face. "Not yet, then."
"Please!"
"Okay, okay." His mother sighed. "Well, I think we've covered everything I was aiming to in this discussion," she continued seriously. "Do you feel like you have as well? Or do you still have more you'd like to get out in the open?" She gave him a hard look that made Harry swallow again.
"I don't know," Harry started, sarcastic despite himself. "It's been such a great time! Yeah: I'd love to just sit here and keep talking to you about this sort of thing!"
"I could take that at face value."
"No! I was kidding, I was just-" Harry sputtered, frantic. "I think I'm good! Can I go now?"
"Yes. We'll talk again later - after you've talked to Evelyn. I need you to tell me what she says, so we can discuss it. And you need to tell me if she does anything else - however you do or don't feel about it, Harry. Just tell me if anything happens at all."
"Do we really have to talk about this stuff again?"
"Yes. And we're going to keep having these conversations whenever it's necessary - or whenever you just feel like you want to come to me to ask a question, or voice a thought about anything related to sex, romance, and the body. You've always been able to ask me anything, and I've always answered; that won't change with this, Harry. I want you to feel free enough to do so - you did when you were younger, you know," she finished casually.
"I know I did! But I was little and stupid and-" He stopped at her expression. "Okay, yeah. If I...have a- question or whatever, I'll ask you...we can keep talking about this stuff."
"Good." His mother hugged him and kissed his forehead. "Thank you. All I want...is for you to keep feeling free to do exactly what you did today: just come to me and tell me whatever's going on. Whatever you feel. Please."
"Sure, no problem..." Harry mumbled, pleased by the hug despite all else - he could never not be, honestly. All his nervousness and fears just bled away, into that hug of hers. He sighed. "Thanks. I- know you're just...always still looking out for me. And it- it is great that I can always- talk to you. I never had anyone to talk to before you," he went on quietly, sincerely. "I'm- glad I could just- come ask you and...do this with you. Thank you, really. For listening, helping me with this."
"You're welcome. And...I know that this is new territory for you - for us. But, I promise you'll get used to these talks - we just need to treat them as normally as we treat any other discussions. You'll see that they're just as helpful for you as any others we have, going forward."
"Sure," Harry repeated, willing to try taking her word for it. At least that. Personally, though, he still thought this new topic of discussion was never going to be easier.
Though, he did feel...a lot better about it all, honestly.
Uncomfortable or not, he wasn't sorry he'd brought it up to her.
It had just taken...a hell of a lot of courage.
He was proud of himself for it, at any rate.
And he was sure Nagini was, too.
Harry woke up to a multitude of incredibly terrifying warnings around him of danger.
The Dark Detecting bracelet Susan had given him for his twelfth birthday was glowing and shifting colors; Dumbledore's pin, on the little nightstand next to his bed, was burning gold and trilling a loud bird-like noise; and all around him outside the tent, there were explosions and yelling, and screams.
Harry saw his mother was already up, her wand in hand, moving right toward him - already dressed in simple shorts and a sleeveless top.
Harry sat up instantly, jumping up from his bed and grabbing his own wand off the nightstand. "What's happening out there?"
"Death Eaters," was her simple, hard response. "Cloak - now. Everything."
Harry snapped on the bracelet, then pinned the pin to his pajamas. Finally he reached under his bed and pulled out the Cloak, swathing himself in it and doing the clasp. He pulled the hood up and turned invisible. Utterly invisible.
Nagini felt for him until she found his arm, and then she started to drag him toward the entrance to the tent. She waved her wand at herself absently, and she too, turned totally invisible.
"Don't talk, don't stop," she said quickly, but clearly, so close to him.
Then they emerged out of the tent, and the world became even more loud.
And even more horrifying.
There was fire everywhere, an array of acrid smells in the air, there were higher screams and calling voices, there was crying and people everywhere...
Harry let his mother pull him toward the edge of the camp - the edge of all those protective enchantments the Ministry had put up around the place.
He was stumbling, almost tripping over himself. And the rocks under his bare feet didn't help.
He felt a cold sensation pass him by bodily; they'd passed through the enchantments. Beyond them now.
His mother yanked him closer, a little roughly, and then the world was dark and squeezing in familiar state of Apparation.
It ended, and they were standing in the middle of their home's sitting room. Vacant, dark.
Familiar and beloved.
And so relieving.
Or, it would have been if not for-
"Evelyn, S-Susan, Tamara - mum - you have to take me back, we have to-"
His mother appeared in front of him, her invisibility fading away. She grasped his cloak and yanked it off him, giving it a flourish; the Cloak vanished into thin air, like a true stage magician's trick.
"You are doing nothing but staying right here," his mother said fiercely, grabbing his arms. "I will go back and try to find them, help them if they need it - but you do not leave this house. Do you understand me?"
"NO! I DON'T! They're my friends, I can't just-!"
"Yes you can!" she cut across firmly. "You will."
"Or what?" Harry challenged.
Her expression grew sharp. Harry tore free of her grasp and stepped backwards.
"Do you really want to make me lock you in here?" she said calmly - too calmly.
"You wouldn't!"
"The longer you keep me here arguing with you, the less time I have to go check on your friends," she spoke swiftly.
Harry balked, clenching his wand tight. "Then let me go with you and shut up already! I'm not letting them just die, not like my parents - and I won't let you die too! Or- where's Sirius, even?!"
"Harry, I need you to stop panicking, I need you to-"
"I can't! Just let me help you, let me- you trained me, you-" Harry said frantically, desperately.
"No." His mother raised her wand; Harry flinched back, half raising his in response. But nothing happened.
He stared at her.
"I promise you I'll be back," she said quietly. And then, without even a sound, she disappeared into thin air.
Harry yelled and cried for her, swiping his wand and lashing out at the walls, at the television - everything. He cried and begged to the empty house. He raced to the front door, but it didn't budge. He blasted it with a dueling curse he'd been taught; it didn't do a thing, the air shimmering to signify a barrier.
Harry tried the windows, the back door, but none of it yielded for him!
Nothing worked. Not spell!
No amount of screaming or hitting.
He wished he had Sirius's mirror!
Then he could just check on him himself!
But a part of him, a part that sounded a lot like his mother, told him that he might just distract Sirius at a bad moment, and get him killed with it. Or what if Sirius didn't even have it on him?
They'd been there together, after all.
What was the point?
He thought, next, about trying to apparate out of here, as terrible and unreliable as he was at it. But that was impossible even in normal situations. To try now, with his mother's new barriers up...
He doubted it'd do anything except make him lose a leg or an arm.
And if his mother came home and found him like that...
Harry couldn't bring himself to do that to her.
Even if he absolutely hated her right now.
It was nearly an hour later when she finally returned, appearing before Harry in the sitting room.
Alone.
"Where's Sirius?! Why isn't he with you!" Harry shouted instantly, jumping up from the sofa and stalking toward her.
"He stayed behind to help people," she said, calm and firm. "And your friends and their parents are fine - they got away safely with Portkeys."
Harry's brain flooded with relief at news of his friends. But, it was still stuck on Sirius. "Why?! Why would he- he's going to-"
His mother came closer, and she took him into her arms. "Because - I need you to focus on your Occlumency, Harry - Sirius is a part of a secret organization dedicated to fighting Voldemort. The same one he was a part of in the last war. The same one your parents were a part of. Dumbledore founded it; it's called the Order of the Phoenix."
"But he might die, I haven't even known him five years, I can't- tell me you're not a part of it too!" Harry exclaimed, desperate and begging.
"I'm not," Nagini said firmly, taking his arms and looking him in the eye. "Dumbledore did ask me to join, once, when Voldemort first returned - but I refused him, Harry. I told him I wasn't going to throw myself into a war again - not when you needed me. I'm your mother, and that's never going to change, I promise you."
"But Sirius is still...He spent ten years in Azkaban after fighting the last war! You spent decades as a snake! My parents died, and I don't want him or you to die too because of this war now! Can't you ask him to stop, can't you...please?"
"I can't. I could try, once, for your sake, but beyond that, Harry - sweetie - I can only respect his choice. Just as Dumbledore respects mine to not be involved."
"But he could die."
"He could. And he knows that better than anyone. But he's made his decision - to fight for what he believes is right in the world. And we can't change that. I'm sorry."
Harry pulled away from her, his eyes shimmering. Then he fled from her. Fled to his room. He thought he hated Sirius now about as much as he hated his mother.
Nagini sank down onto the sofa, putting her head in her hands.