Marina's parents left for the evening. She had the TV on for a while but then finally closed her eyes. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. Slow and concentrated. She still hadn't heard from Kenny, but knowing he was okay was all that mattered. She started to feel guilt creeping up, making her stomach and chest hurt, she quickly swallowed it down.
"Doing okay Marina?" She heard the nurse ask.
"Yes." Marina briefly opened her eyes and closed them again, "Just trying to keep myself calm."
"I'm going to take your blood pressure really quick before you go to sleep."
Marina nodded. She continued her breathing, listening as the nurse walked around.
"Do you want me to shut the lights out?" Her nurse asked as she took the cuff off.
"Just leave the bathroom on. Please."
"Got it. Press the button if you need anything. Make sure your socks are on if you get up to go to the bathroom."
"I will. Thank you so much April."
"No problem at all! You're my easiest patient on the floor!"
She heard her feet retreating but then coming back in, she figured she forgot something.
The walking noise stopped at the foot of the bed, and then continued until she felt the bed dip down beside her.
Marina opened her eyes quickly, looking over to find Kenny sitting on her bed, looking down at her. He reached out his hand and brushed his thumb over her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand.
She reached up and placed her hand on his, opening her eyes again and looking up at him. His face was filled entirely with sadness, she felt like hers was probably the same. She had to admit to herself that she did feel better seeing him alive and touching her so that she knew he was real.
She looked away awkwardly before scooting over to the right to make room for him.

Kenny turned his body, kicking his shoes off before swinging his legs up on her bed. He turned on his side to face her, she moved over on the pillow to give him some room. He shoved his arm under the pillow and laid his head on top of it. Marina looked up at the TV before turning her head to look over at him. His eyes were examining all of her face.
He laid his hand on her chest and she winced, gasping lightly in pain. He lifted it quickly, moving it to rest on top of his side.
Marina lifted her arm that was between them and placed it on his cheek. Kenny leaned forward, moving his hand to her cheek before planting his lips softly against hers.
"My breath probably smells." She spoke softly, surprised by the roughness in her voice.
"I don't care." He whispered, kissing her again before pulling away.
"I want... to say a couple things." Kenny's voice was calm and sad, "I want you to know that I am so sorry. I don't think I could tell you or show you enough for it to mean much of anything. I have been acting like an idiot for the past like week.. And I am really sorry for that too. From now on, I am going to respect that you do not want a relationship right now. I am going to be nice, but not too nice. I am not going to be an asshole to you at all. I was letting my feelings get the best of me and control my emotions. I love you. You are my absolute best friend and I just want us to go back to being best friends. I miss you so much."
"Me too." Marina felt her eyes welling up, "I miss having fun and hanging out with you."
"Can we promise to go back to being best friends again. Put this other bull shit behind us."
She nodded, lifting her left pinky. Kenny smirked and wrapped his pinky around hers.
"Will you stay with me tonight though?" She asked.
"Of course."

Kenny PoV

It seemed like the older he was getting, the longer it was taking for him to grow into his age. It would make him sleep almost an entire day now. He was definitely in trouble with his parents. But he knew they'd get over it eventually.

Marina reached her hand between them, and grabbed Kenny's hand off of his side, letting it drop loosely between them. She laced her fingers between his.
He was relieved to see Marina didn't have more serious injuries.
"I'm glad you're okay." He whispered.
"I'm glad you're okay too." She whispered back, she closed her eyes and let out a relaxed sigh.

Kenny shamelessly watched her as she laid there, until her breathing changed as she fell asleep. He felt horrible, she was only in this state because of him, his second or third (he couldn't remember) overreaction outburst. He wasn't going to let that happen again. Especially not after this. Kenny closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. He finally let himself go to sleep as well.

Kenny woke up to the bed jolting and the sound of Marina gasping. When he opened his eyes she was sitting up clutching her chest as she was gasping for air. The monitor beside the bed was beeping loudly, he looked over to see what it was saying. He watched as her heart rate kept going up.
"Marina. You're okay, just try to relax." He spoke calmly, sitting up and putting his hand on her back.
The nurse ran into the room, "Try to take a deep breath for me sweetheart. You're safe and okay." She told her as she lifted the IV in Marina's arm, she flipped some piece of it before putting the syringe she was holding into the IV. Pressing the plunger down, the liquid moved through the tube down to her arm.
She was still struggling to catch her breath, her body was shaking now.
"Marina honey, take a deep breath in your nose for me." She leaned down closer to her.
Marina attempted to take a deep breath through her nose, it took a couple tries until she got it. She finally took a long breath and exhaled slowly, continuing to breathe slow. Her heart rate started returning to normal.
"Hello." The nurse greeted him, "Boyfriend?"
Kenny shook his head, "Best friends." He gave her a smile.
The nurse nodded, "I'm April. I'll be her nurse tonight."
"Kenny." He gestured at himself.
"Ohh." She nodded again, making a face as if she finally understood something.
Kenny looked at her confused.
"She's yelled for you in a couple of her nightmares last night."
"She had this happen last night too?"
"Yes. She keeps waking up and having panic attacks. Sometimes trauma will do that."
"What did you put in her IV? Just curious?" Kenny tried to change the topic, feeling sick thinking of her dealing with trauma.
"Ativan. To calm her down. She will probably be very sleepy here in a minute and go right back to sleep."
"Hopefully." Marina finally cut in.
"How are you feeling?" April asked her.
"Better." Marina swallowed, laying back again.
"Do you guys need anything else right now? Something to drink?"
"No thank you." Marina answered.
"If you guys need me. Press the button okay?"
"Okay." Marina nodded slowly and sleepily.
April walked out of the room, shutting the door softly.

"You'll stay right?" Marina asked softly, closing her eyes.
"Of course."
"And Kenny?"
"Yes Marina?"
"Don't ever ask me to kill you ever again."
"Shhh." He hushed her, worried that some how they would be able to hear them.
"Don't shush me. I'm serious." She opened her eyes and looked over at him.
"I won't ever ask you to do that again. I promise."
"You made me do it." Her eyes welled up.
"Let's not think about it right now, okay Rina? I'm alive, healthy, and right here next to you. And I'm not going anywhere."
Marina nodded slowly, closing her eyes, her hand grasping tightly onto his.

He felt like he was being selfish, but he didn't want her to talk about it so that he wouldn't have to remember seeing how it affected her afterward. He had been working his hardest to keep his soul with her until she was picked up, so that she wouldn't be all alone in the Colorado Desert. But now Kenny couldn't get the image out of his head, of her crying so hard that it was completely silent. He opened his eyes and watched TV for a little bit, until he finally dozed off.

It wasn't until Thursday that they went back to school. Kenny watched as Marina climbed slowly into her seat of the car. She was wearing a hoodie. He couldn't blame her, her chest was still red from the air bag, and she had a big bruise on her shoulder by her neck, where the seat belt caught her. She flipped the part in her hair so that her stitches would be covered.
"You two don't even look like you were in a bad accident." Stan chuckled.
"It could have been worse.." Marina sighed, "How many people know? I don't really want attention drawn to me about it."
"Are you serious? We live in a small town. Everyone and their great grandma knows. Plus you guys were out of school all week!" Kyle answered.
"I'm shocked you're already coming back." Stan added.
"Well I am still really sore.. But I was hoping coming back would help not to draw much attention."

Once they reached school Marina looked around from inside of the car, "Stan, could you leave the car running? I'm going to walk in late after people are already in class. I'll give you the keys when I get in there."
"Yeah that's fine."
"Do you want me to wait with you?" Kenny asked.
She nodded.

Once they were gone Kenny got out of the car and lit up a cigarette. Marina got out and opened the driver door, reaching in and turning the car off.
"What are you doing?" He asked as he blew out the smoke.
"Can I have one?"
"Marina." Kenny sighed, "You already know I don't want to be responsible if you start smoking. I don't want that on my conscious."
"You think I like having to kill you on mine?" She rose an eyebrow.
He started at her, admitting defeat and handing her his pack.

They walked into first period together while everyone was discussing their chapters and writing their essays. Marina handed Stan his keys and their teacher walked up to the two of them.
"Hey guys, I'm really happy to see you two are okay. I just wanted to let you know that I know you're going to be behind on your chapters. We started our new book yesterday. You can finish the other if you want, but you don't need to give me an essay for it. Here is the new book, just read the appropriate amount of chapters for now, but this weekend if you could read enough to be caught up by Monday that would be awesome. If you need anything just let me know. Don't worry about an essay today, just start reading what you can." She smiled at them before going back to her desk.

They headed to their lockers before the next period, Wendy, Bebe, and Nichole approached them. "We are so happy you guys are back!" Wendy squealed.
"Can we hug you?" Bebe asked Marina.
"Gently." She nodded.
The girls hugged and Kenny waited on Marina.
"How are you guys feeling?"
"Not terrible. I don't really like that everyone knows about it."
"Yeah, we tried our best not to say anything but everyone has been talking about it since Monday." Nichole told her sadly.
"That's so lovely." Marina sighed, "Well I'm going to head to class I will see you guys at lunch!"
Everyone was sending them sympathetic looks as they passed, he was realizing now why she was not wanting to come in while everyone was in the hallways this morning.

Lunch was filled with people coming up and telling them they were glad they were okay. He could tell Marina was gradually getting more and more uncomfortable. With how she had been acting the past couple months, he would have thought she would have been eating the attention up.
"Marina are you okay?" Wendy asked.
That's when Kenny realized that Marina was breathing heavily and quickly.
"Just.. trying to calm myself down.. People just keep reminding me that it happened.."
Kenny extended his leg across the table and rested the side of his against the side of hers.
She looked at him, he started speaking calmly, "Remember what the nurse said, take a deep breath through your nose, and let it out through your mouth."
Marina nodded, breathing slow.

Friday night Kenny was asked not to play during the game and Marina obviously couldn't cheer yet. He was thankful for it, he had been so worried about her all week after the panic attack she had in front of him at the hospital. She hadn't seemed to have one that bad since then. Unless she had one while she was sleeping Thursday night. They did prescribe her a medication for her anxiety, but Kenny didn't think she was actually taking it. She complained about it the entire way home from the hospital. Marina sat between Kenny and Kyle for the game. If he didn't know better, by the way she was acting, he would have completely forgotten about the entire incident. She was cheering on the team and yelling with the crowd.

Of course they were invited to Token's house after the game. Marina quickly accepted, even though Kenny was worried it was a bad idea. He made sure he was keeping an eye on her the entire time. She didn't seem to mind though, she was dragging him everywhere with her. Marina was definitely drinking much more and much quicker than he was used to. She was playing beer pong with some other people in their grade. He was off to the side watching her as she drunkenly cheered.
He wanted to be having a good time but he just felt sorry for her. Kenny missed Marina being the old Marina, but he couldn't even blame her for changing. After everything that had happened over the past year, little pieces of her were being chipped away each time and she just continued to bury them and pretend like it was all okay. He knew for a fact that Adam cheating on her started all of it. Most people would be sitting at home crying or doing absolutely nothing, but Marina was pushing it all away by forcing herself to have fun. He was starting to worry that it might be destructive. Kenny couldn't even be mad at her, he had been running from and burying his problems since he was a child. He still did.

He knew it was selfish to ask her to kill him, but he also knew that he wouldn't be standing there right at that moment if she hadn't. He would most likely still be in the hospital. Before he went to go see her in the hospital, he fully understood why Marina didn't want to date yet. He decided not to just give up on her or get mad about it anymore.
He told himself he would give her the space she needed when she wanted it, but he wasn't going to stop making it clear that he liked her.

Maria looked over and smiled at him, a genuine smile. Something he was afraid he might not see for a while after the night of the accident. They still hadn't talked much about that night. She made small comments here and there, usually made in sarcasm. He knew he went flying out of the front windshield, but he didn't know if she saw that. He was pretty sure she did though, and the thought of it made his stomach hurt. He ignored his thoughts and smiled back.
She was wearing a Nirvana black t-shirt with a pair of jeans, it was honestly the most casual he had seen her dress in public since the school year started. He was happy to see it.
"She's in a good mood tonight." Kyle sat down beside Kenny.
Kenny took a sip of his beer, "She's running."
"I know." Kyle sighed, "But she's hiding that so well."
"She's become a pretty damn good faker in a year." Kenny chuckled.
"That's the truth."
"So anyway, how's the Nichole stuff?"
"Oh, haven't you seen FaceBook? We are dating!" Kyle smiled.
"That's good! Took you long enough."
"Really? I felt like we went to that stage pretty fast."
"You know what I mean." Kenny smirked.
Kyle laughed easily, shaking his head.

Kenny ended up being the most sober one yet again, and because of this he became suddenly responsible for Wendy and Stan as well.
"Marina, you should stay at my house tonight!" Wendy exclaimed.
"Okay!" Marina laughed.
"Well the rest of my night has freed up, wanna come play some video games?" Stan asked Kenny.
"Sure dude."
"Aww. A girls night and a guys night." Wendy reached up and ruffled Kenny and Stan's hair.

Marina PoV

Marina and Wendy heated up some pizza rolls in the kitchen before she followed Wendy to her room, stumbling slightly. Wendy laughed loudly, as if she didn't care at all about her parents waking up.
"I'm really glad you're okay." Wendy told her as she shut her bedroom door behind them.
They kicked their shoes off before getting on her bed to eat. Wendy turned her TV on and put a show on in the background.
"How does your chest look?"
"A little better. Still hurts though. My head hurts the most often. The alcohol helped a lot tonight." Marina wished she could tell her all of the things the alcohol was helping her to forget.
"Do you mind me asking what happened? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want."
Marina looked at the pizza rolls and then the TV, wondering if maybe talking about it to someone else would help.
"Kenny was really upset. Yelling actually, and not paying attention. There was this huge animal in the road, I can't even tell you what it was because I really didn't even look at it hardly. When I went to warn him it was too late." Marina swallowed, tears welling in her eyes.
"You don't have to continue."
"Thank you." She shakily ate a pizza roll.
"Do you wanna talk about why he was upset though?" Wendy asked softly.
"Actually." Marina wanted to talk about that so badly, she knew it was something she couldn't really talk to Kenny about. "Don't repeat this.. He wants to date me. And I'm not ready. I want to adventure still..
"How are you just like not ready though Marina? Kenny never asks girls to date them. He must really really like you."
"He does.." Marina nodded sadly.
"What's wrong?"
"I feel awful turning him down. Like I feel like I sound like such a bitch for telling him no."
"So don't?"
"It's just.."
"You're afraid of getting hurt again like the last two guys.. I know."
"Yes..what if he hurts me Wendy?" Marina swallowed back the tears that were threatening her again, she was so annoyed at the fact that she kept crying so much lately. "What if I give Kenny my entire heart? And he just gets bored with me and moves on and I am left empty. Losing my best friend at the same time.."
"It's just a risk you have to be willing to take babe."
"I can't risk it. I can't risk not having him around you know? He makes me forget that life sucks.." A tear rolled down her cheek and she sighed loudly, quickly wiping it away. "So sick of this shit. I feel like such a baby. Crying all the damn time." She was desperately trying to stop them but her eyes seemed to have a mind of their own.
"Mar... You've been through a lot in a short period of time. Stop being so hard on yourself. We all have feelings. You can't just not have them. Not after everything that has already happened in just like 2 months. That's not even mentioning you getting out of an extremely toxic relationship."
"Dude.. I cried in front of this super attractive older guy at the bar. When I was about to have sex with him."
"Why?"
"Because I was frustrated after running into Kenny there. He got in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about him after that, and comparing this dude to him. It was so stupid and I started crying because I am just stupid."
"Well it was probably a good thing because if he is older than 21 then you shouldn't be sleeping with him anyway."
"Wendy... I don't need a mom right now." Marina rolled her eyes before she wiped them.
"Apparently you do." Wendy sighed.
Marina looked over at her and then back to the TV. She hated that Wendy was right. Wendy was right a lot of the time, and she hated that too.
"What I need is another drink." Marina sighed in return.
Marina glanced at her as she grabbed another pizza roll, Wendy was looking at her sadly.
"I'm going back to being carefree again. This feelings stuff is getting old."
"Isn't being completely carefree what brought you all of this crap in the first place?"
"No. Letting my emotions about my parents get the best of me is what started all of this crap. I want senior year to be fun. So far I have now wasted 2 months being an emotional wreck. I'm tired of it."
"You have to be the one to make the change Marina."
"I will. Now let's watch a stupid horror movie and enjoy these pizza rolls." Marina smiled at her. Wendy returned the smile and gabbed her remote.