Jamie had heard the noise and he continued following the footprints with caution. "...Jack?" He timidly called.
Coming around the corner, he saw Jack collapsed in the snow, along with a large branch that had broken off the tree and gone with him. Jack was gulping the air, pushing himself up on sore elbows and knees. His clothes and dark hair were covered in snow. Strangest of all, he had a rope around his neck, which Jack violently threw off of him.
Jack looked around, face in disbelief, then his eyes locked with Jamie's. The boy didn't know what he was looking at, nor did he care. He ran to his brother and practically jumped into his arms. Jack's entire body ached from the crash-landing, his heart was beating frantically, but it reminded him he was alive. As Jack processed the happiest accident of his life, he realized he was holding his weeping brother.
"Jamie,"
"What were you doing?" He cried, hysterical.
Jack's own face crumpled. "I—Jamie–"
Jamie buried his face into his shoulder again. "Don't ever do it again!"
"No, no, Jamie! I wasn't... I..."
Following the sounds of horrible sobs, Elsa and Mary arrived at the scene. Mary looked bewildered, and Elsa saw the rope and instantly put the pieces together. She put her hands over her mouth as she felt emotion swell up in her throat. "Jack–!"
"I'm sorry!" He answered, already feeling tears creep out of his eyes. He was still holding and rocking Jamie. Snow began to fall as the two girls curled up around the boys. All of the tensity got to Mary and she began to tear up as well. All of the arms around him, all the warmth... it was too much. Jack broke apart, "I'm not good enough for any of you!" Jack couldn't stop crying.
Elsa hugged him mightily, but it wasn't enough. Amidst his endless tears, Jack went, "I can't let go of what he did to me! I can't let it go! I can't let it go! It hurts so much!" His sobs were like explosive, long vocals. He was inconsolable, yet no one let go of him.
"We love you, Jack." Mary soothed, crying with them.
"You're the best big brother in the world." Jamie said in his ear, meaning all of it. Jack's heart hurt too much and he continued to cry, muffled by Elsa's chest.
It was a deep and painful cry... but also a cry that washed everything away. A cry they had all needed.
...
Night.
The house was calm and quiet.
After a peaceful dinner and then a warm bath, Elsa laid Jack down on the bed, the candle lamp still lit. He'd hardly said anything since the breakdown, but it was only because he was so exhausted. Elsa pulled the blanket over him and rubbed his arm lovingly. "I'm not letting you out of my sight. Understand?" She said, voice desperate.
"I know." He replied. "I'm sorry." It was maybe the one-hundredth time he'd said it so far. "I never want to leave any of you." He rasped, but it still wasn't quite enough for Elsa. Elsa placed something in his hand, something she'd found in his coat pocket earlier. Jack looked and saw his mother's locket, somehow unbroken despite falling from the branch with it on him. He let out a deep sigh and clutched it to his chest.
Elsa remained alert as she watched him shuffle around in bed until he eventually fell asleep. Taking the opportunity she had, Elsa crept out of the room to check on the twins, who she'd tucked in an hour ago.
Entering the room, she saw Mary and Jamie were both sleeping soundly. She and Jack had both assured them all was well, but the two seemed to know better. At least they were both all right.
"Elsa?" A small voice peeped. She looked over and saw Jamie anxiously looking at her.
"It's all right. I'm just checking on you both."
Jamie said nothing and crawled out from the covers. When he reached the end of his bed near where she was, he stood up, softly took her face, and kissed her cheek. She looked at him, taken aback.
"I love you." He said. He loved anyone who loved Jack as much as he did.
Elsa caressed his face; he looked just like Jack. "I love you too." She pressed her lips together, trying not to cry. "Get some sleep." She bid as Jamie tucked himself back in. She walked over to Mary's bed and kissed her head as well.
When she returned to her room, Jack hadn't moved a muscle. She presumed that he was in a deep, dreamless sleep, but that wasn't the case.
He dreamed, but not his usual nightmares... He was dreaming about his mother, about a snowy day where she liked to sit by the window and read. On days like these, Jack would bring over a blanket so she'd be warm, and she would often pull him up onto her lap so she could cuddle with him under said blanket. They would spend hours just holding each other, reminding each other of their love without saying a word.
In his dream, she felt so warm, as warm as the last time she'd held him, warmer than the tattered, old blanket they were using.
"I'm here, sweetheart." She used to say. "I'm here."
When Elsa awoke the following morning, it was because she felt a kiss on her cheek. She looked over and saw that Jack was cradling her, his honey-brown eyes shining near-gold in the sunlight.
"I'm here, Elsa." He whispered. "I'll always be here." He curled up beside her and held her for a long while before he got up and checked on the twins. Lovingly, he woke them both and asked them what they wanted for breakfast.
Then, at the kitchen table, Elsa said, "We have something to tell you two." She and Jack both agreed: it was time.
...
July.
The days were sunny and the air was warm. The ground was lush and green and the trees were teeming with life. Most importantly, it was Midsummer.
Jamie couldn't believe it had already been a year since the last summer solstice—it felt more like a decade. He swung on the swing, hanging his head back to admire the sun rays coming through leaves and branches above him. Right now, he'd be in the village watching the girls dance around the maypole, all wearing flower crowns.
Mary was to the side, putting together her own crown of flowers. She'd made one for herself, Elsa, and someone else. Someone special.
Back at the house, Elsa put her hair into a braided bun. She was wearing a brightly-colored bunad. Jack was in the master bedroom; he'd just finished getting dressed. He then peered into the crib.
"Good morning, little girl." Jack whispered as looked down at the cherubic face of his daughter. She had bright blue eyes, like Elsa. She gazed up at him and he tenderly picked her up. "Hey there, angel." Their little girl was Sophie Overland. She was named after her grandmother.
Elsa entered, "Is she awake?"
"Mhm."
"Hello, baby." She smiled and nuzzled their daughter. "I'm gonna get her ready to go."
When Elsa took Sophie to change her diaper and redress her, Jack opened the front door and called, "Hey, guys! We're about to head out!"
"Okay!" Mary called back. She'd just finished her third flower crown. "You sure you don't want one, Jamie?"
Jamie stopped himself on the swing. "I'm good."
"I think you'd look really cute." She teased.
"Ick! No way!"
Mary tried to put one on him, but Jamie fought back, refusing to let it get anywhere near his head. They play-tackled each other until Elsa, carrying Sophie, and Jack joined them and went to gather Elsa's parents.
The town was having a Midsummer event, with a maypole propped in the town center, where children were already dancing around it. No one got crowned May Queen, however. It was only for festive reasons. Lots of food stands and gift stands were lined up along the street, and there was a live band playing music.
It's almost like back at home. Thought Jamie as he took in all of the sights.
The crowds of people and endless noise left Jack feeling overwhelmed, but he had Elsa's hand to squeeze to soothe his nerves. Iduna and Agnarr were insistent that they bring Sophie to the celebration, as it was her first summer solstice! She looked adorable in her tiny crown, made entirely out of wildflowers.
She looked around at all the people with big, curious eyes.
"Should we tell them that the actual solstice was days ago?" Jack joked. He assumed because it was a large town with a lot of working men and women, organizing events like these took longer. They'd done a wonderful job, regardless.
"Jack, can we go look around?" Mary asked, eager to join the group of dancers. Jack had his inhibitions about letting them wander the streets alone, but Agnarr and Iduna gave him reassuring looks; they wouldn't take their eyes off of them.
Jack nodded at the twins. "All right, go crazy."
Cheerfully, they took off.
"Ah!" Sophie cooed.
"I know," Elsa baby-talked, "it's so bright outside!"
Jack playfully stroked Sophie's soft cheek and sniggered. Looking at his two girls, he remembered something. "Hey, I think it's about time I go pick up your gift."
Elsa looked suspicious, "What gift?"
Jack had this planned for a while now, and he'd paid the silversmith extra just so he'd let him pick up the present on a holiday. He walked into the store, where the owner had been expecting him, and he said, "Jackson Overland, order for—"
"I remember you." Said the man and he gave him a small paper bag. "Happy Midsummer."
"Thank you." When he returned to Elsa outside, he traded the bag for Sophie so she could open it properly. Elsa was greeted by a silver locket, close to the one Jack's mother had left behind.
Elsa swooned, "Jack, it's beautiful!"
"Open it." He insisted, hugging their daughter close. Elsa did, and on one side was the small photograph of a newborn Sophie Agnarr had paid good money to have taken. On the other side, it said Sophie - 1843. "I–I couldn't afford a ring, but for now, I thought this would be nice for the both of us..." Nervously, Jack was waiting for a reaction.
Elsa seemed to have none, not until she looked up at him and said, "It's beautiful." Jack grinned, grateful to hear it. Elsa strung it around her neck and they continued around town to enjoy the holiday.
...
After having dinner at the Nordheim's, the Overlands finally returned home just before sundown. Since Sophie was tired enough to be put down for a nap, Jamie wanted to play a quick game of riddles. Sitting together in the living room, they took turns going through Mary's book she'd gotten for her and Jamie's birthday.
Mary read aloud, "Without a bridle or a saddle, across a thing I ride a-straddle. And those I ride, by help of me, though almost blind, are made to see."
"Oh!" Elsa jumped like she knew the answer, but really she had no clue. "Um..."
Jack was wincing, "'A-straddle?'" He'd never heard the phrase before in his life.
"A horse?" Jamie guessed.
"What?" Mary asked.
"You said 'saddle.'" He shrugged. "Read it again!"
Elsa repeated out loud before Mary could go over the text, "Without a bridle or a saddle, across a thing I ride a-straddle. And those I ride, by help of me, though almost blind, are made to see."
"By the help of me, though almost blind, are made to see..." Jack figured it out, "Glasses!"
"Yes!" Mary cheered, thankful this didn't take very long. She handed the book to Jack.
"Okay, uh... What has a brown coat, a long tail, and lives in house or shed but most active while you're in bed?"
Elsa grinned, "I can name something that's most active in bed."
Jack glared at her.
Mary said, "Um, is it a cat? Or a dog?"
Jamie argued, "Those sleep at night!"
"Not always!"
"Dogs and cats don't live in sheds," Jamie reasoned.
"Well, some do." Jack threw in.
"You're not helping!" Jamie whined, earning a genuine laugh from Jack, the smile that had made Elsa fall in love with him to begin with.
"Is it big or small?" Mary asked anxiously.
"I can't tell you." Jack replied.
Elsa finally had the answer, "A mouse?"
"Yup."
Both twins groaned. "I was gonna guess that next..." Mary bemoaned. They had three more rounds before retiring to bed.
...
It wasn't uncommon for the twins to be woken up by Sophie crying. It was a new occasion they were still getting used to, but they tried not to be too annoyed by it. She was usually pretty quick to hush once her diaper was changed and she was fed.
That night, only Jamie was woken up by one of Sophie's cries. He heard the bedsheets shuffle, the wooden floor creak, and then Jack going, "Shh..." He and Elsa took turns throughout the night depending on whether Sophie was wet or hungry. She was completely dry, but Elsa already had to wake up twice now, and they had a bottle with some of her milk ready for whenever Jack wanted to feed her. He took his whining daughter into the kitchen where he collected the filled bottle and then sat down with her.
Gently, he coaxed the tip into her mouth and she began to suckle as she would her mother's breast. She was so calm and peaceful as she drank. Jack, though half-asleep, grinned tenderly at the sight. "You're so beautiful." He whispered to her.
"Jack?" Jamie spooked him, but he didn't stop feeding Sophie.
"Hey," he propped Sophie up slightly, "what is it?"
"I just wanted to see if you needed help."
Jack simpered, "No, I got it. Go back to sleep." Instead, Jamie got closer, getting a close look at his niece. Calling her his niece was so strange since she felt more like a sister to him and Mary. Jamie considered himself far too young to be an uncle, but he supposed he'd always feel that way.
"She looks like Elsa," Jamie said, beaming, "she looks like you too."
"Well, more like her mother, thank God." He was observing her carefully to see if she was done feeding. She must be having a growth spurt since she was hungrier these days. Jack pulled the bottle away and yawned as he held her up to burp her.
"I thought about it again," Jamie said, voice dark. Jack knew what he was talking about and he looked at him sharply.
He sighed sadly, "It's okay. I still think about it too." As he said that, Sophie burped. He held her in a cradle again. How could he have ever been so foolish? He couldn't imagine not being in his child's life now that she was here, not being here to hold her. "I still think about a lot of the bad things that happened to us... It's normal."
"You'll never do it again, right?"
"Never." Jack swore.
There was a burning question Jamie had been withholding for a long time, and he couldn't take it anymore. "Why'd you do it?"
Jack had known this was coming, he just didn't think it'd take seven months. He didn't answer right away—his mind drew a blank. Truly, he didn't have an answer. "Jamie..." He stopped himself. "There's no easy way to tell you that... I felt like I was trapped. Like I was never gonna feel happy ever again... It felt like with Dad gone you didn't need me anymore. I was stupid to ever think that." Jamie didn't say anything, he was looking down at the floor. Jack pondered Sophie, "I still hear Dad's voice sometimes... He tells me the same horrible things he always did—but I remind myself it's not real, it's just old pain. It isn't always easy... I'll remember a lot of bad things he put me through and I'll get that trapped feeling again, but then I'll think of Sophie. Of you, of Mary, of Elsa. It helps me a little."
That only partially made sense to Jamie, but he acknowledged his brother's words with a nod.
"You know..." Jack rambled aloud, "I almost didn't do it. For a moment, I realized that my family still needed me, that I didn't have to go this way. When I heard you calling me, it dawned on me that I couldn't let you go." He locked eyes with his brother who was finally, finally understanding. "When I fell," his body shuddered, and he put a hand over his face, "Jesus, I couldn't tell if I was alive or not... I remember hearing something crunch and then my entire body going heavy. Then I saw snow; I was covered in it. The fact I was still cold told me I wasn't dead." He cocked his head to the side, "That and the fact my entire front-side hurt."
Even in the most serious of discussions, Jack would crack a joke. Sometimes, humor was his best medicine.
"But... it feels like it was still meant to happen." He said. Jamie winced again. "I wanted death... but life chose me. I think I had to see that to know I still had a purpose."
"...To be a dad. A better one than ours." Jamie whispered. "And our brother."
Jack looked at him, silently drinking his eyes for a small pause. "Yes... I think you're right." Both instinctively looked at Sophie, who was nodding off.
"I think it's time to go back to bed," Jamie commented.
"Yeah, kiddo. I think so too." And together, they lovingly put Sophie to sleep and Jack tucked Jamie into bed.
Though most days were happy, things still weren't bliss.
Jack still had nightmares. Jamie would miss his friends. Mary would have cramps so debilitating that she couldn't leave her bed.
But these were all remnants of their life on the fjords.
"Then—in my childhood—in the dawn
Of a most stormy life—was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still—
From the torrent, or the fountain—
From the red cliff of the mountain—
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold—
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by—
From the thunder, and the storm—
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view—"
- Alone (Edgar Allan Poe)