Chapter 25
They were no earlier in the car than Candy realized Annie's advanced state of pregnancy. She was so shocked by what she had just learned about Albert that she hadn't even noticed her friend's big belly.
- You can not do such a long road in your state! You have to go back to the hotel and rest.
- I'm fine, I assure you, Candy.
- You're pregnant, Annie! And it's not good for you to make such a long trip! I refuse that you take this risk!
- No, I can very well ...
- I beg you, Annie! - interrupted Candy, her jaw clenched. The tone she had used, marked with anger and despair, left no room for doubt. It was better to give in ...
- All right ... - said Annie with a sigh - We will take the first train tomorrow ... And with a bunk! ... - she added with a half-smile. At these words Candy gave a big sigh of relief and took her friend's hand, which she kissed gratefully.
- Thank you for your understanding, my friend. I wouldn't have lasted five more seconds. Don't blame me. I'm already on the verge of a nervous breakdown when I think of Albert. I can't worry about you too, not now ...
Big tears rolled down her cheeks and she burst into tears. Sitting in front of her, Terry took her hands and squeezed them very hard. He would have given anything to speed up time and make them already be at their friend's bedside. A feeling of helplessness and injustice rose in him, only increasing his dismay.
Discreetly, Archibald nodded to the driver who diverted his route towards their hotel. The separation was brief, without much effusion, with the promise to give each other news as soon as possible.
As Archibald had promised, Chicago was reached early in the morning despite the few stops necessary to stock up on fuel but also to change drivers. The poor driver, as professional as he was, could not drive twelve hours in a row without a little rest, which is why, for more security, Terry had offered him, then insisted on replacing him. They had therefore alternated regularly, granting each other when the road allowed it, a few bursts of speed.
Candy was in such a state of nervousness that she had ended up accepting the sedative that Annie had given to Terry in anticipation, which had allowed her to sleep for a few hours. She had reopened her eyes as she approached Chicago.
- We are finally here! - she said to herself, straightening up. But as her mind woke up, the sense of dread that had haunted her the entire way came back to force, oppressive, tensing every muscle to make them wince in pain.
- Are you not feeling well, my beloved? - asked Terry, his forehead frowning with worry.
- I'll feel much better when I'm with Albert ... - she said in a whisper, turning her head towards the window. She couldn't meet Terry's gaze for fear of reading her own torment, the same uncertainties. In what state would she find him? Would he be forever stuck in this bed, inert like a green plant? In the course of her profession, she had seen them so often in this case ... She also knew very well that a good number never recovered and gradually died out like a candle ... No, no! This would never happen to Albert! She would fight for him, take care of him day and night, and he would again become the strong and courageous Albert she had always known, the one who had always supported and protected her, like a big brother, like a father. No, she would never agree to lose him !
Big, hot tears rolled down her cheeks and a quivering sigh escaped her mouth. Terry's hand rested on hers, which she greeted with a sad smile.
- Don't lose hope, Candy… - he said, with his soft voice - He already survived to this kind of situation, you know that. He will recover ...
Candy nodded sadly and turned to the window again, her gaze lost. Terry's words were meant to be encouraging but couldn't prevent her from imagining the worst. Really, as soon as a little happiness took place in her life, a sad event ruined everything, like a reminder determined to tell her that what life was offering her could be taken from her without further ado. This life so often cruel and unfair with her ... She thought she deserved a little respite after everything she had been through, and now the sword of Damocles was trembling once again above her head. .
- Will it ever end? - she said to herself, sadly - When can I finally be happy with those I love?
Terry's hand squeezed hers a little harder. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, her body shaking with nervous spasms. Locked up for hours in this cabin, as luxurious as it was, it remained a mobile prison, which although bringing them closer to their destination every minute, did not exceed in Candy's eyes the speed of that of a turtle.
After an interminable half hour, they arrived in front of the hospital. The driver had barely stepped out of the vehicle when the young couple were already outside. Without waiting, they climbed the stairs four at a time, pulled the front door with equal eagerness and found themselves in the reception hall, empty of people in this early hour. A man seated on a bench then got up when he saw them.
- Miss Candy, Mr. Terrence! I was waiting for you ! - said Georges heading towards them - Mr. Archibald informed me of your arrival.
- Where is Albert ? - cried Candy, forgetting all kind of politeness. She really had no time to waste!
Georges was not offended, fully understanding the impatience of his master's protege. Nevertheless, he had to inform her of certain details which he did not want to discuss in front of the patient.
- I must tell you, Miss ... The state of health of Mr. William is very worrying. Doctors have planned to operate this morning in view of the last x-rays ...
The ground seemed to slip out from under the young woman's feet.
- What is Albert suffering from? - she managed to pronounce - Please don't hide anything from me? I want the truth.
Georges looked down and answered in a choked voice.
- He has a brain tumor ...
- A tumor, my God ! - moaned Candy, horrified, putting a hand to her mouth.
- That's what they discovered on the x-rays ... - replied George with a sigh - They are going to operate on him this morning to determine his dangerousness and try to remove it ...
- I don't understand, Georges! Albert looked in good shape when I left! This tumor did not appear as if by magic!
- Indeed, Miss ... To be honest, your father had suffered for several months from very painful headaches which handicapped him enormously. But you know him, he hadn't told anyone, neither his doctor, nor me, just taking a few pills which gave him temporary relief. Then his hand started to shake. He couldn't hide it from me for long. It was there that I insisted that he see a specialist, who noticed a stain on the x-ray of his brain but too small to risk an intervention. So we had to wait for it to get bigger and unfortunately that is what happened. His condition worsened rapidly: tremors, stiffness, discomfort which luckily only occurred when we were alone ... Until he collapsed the day before yesterday in his office and did not regain consciousness. ..
- My God, Albert! - Candy sobbed, shaking her head - It's not possible, it can't be so serious! ...
- We must not lose hope, Miss ... - said Georges taking her hands and squeezing them very tight - We will be a little more after the surgery ... By then ...
- Until then, we have to wait ... - she whispered, in a voice broken with sorrow - Wait ...
Inside, a deep sense of contained rage grew and threatened to explode. She wanted to scream! ...
- Take me to him, now !
- Follow me, please ...
Their rapid footsteps echoed on the tiled floor, crossing on the way those of the personnel who took over from the night shift, and who watched with a questioning air this very eager trio so early in the morning.
Arrived in front of Albert's room, Candy hesitated for a moment.
In what state would she find him? Would she take it?
With a feverish hand, she pushed open the door, which opened onto a medium-sized bedroom with very basic furnishings. Albert was there, lying on a bed next to a window with a view to the park. A long pipe ran from his arm to a bottle suspended above him. He seemed so fragile ...
Candy approached, her eyesight blurred with tears. He was so pale ... She knelt down next to him and took his hand.
- Albert… It's me, Candy… - She said in a quavering voice - I'm back… I'm not leaving you anymore. When you wake up I'll be there, I promise ...
But Albert does not react, prisoner of the deep sleep in which he was immersed. Candy's heart tightened even more in front of her powerlessness to revive it. Naively, she had thought that by sensing her presence, he would have immediately woken up or would at least have made a gesture towards her. But the reality was sadly different ...
Strangely, when the medics appeared in the room to take him to surgery, she felt relieved. They were going to operate, treat him, and she would find him as before, as when she had left him before leaving for Europe ...
If she hadn't left, if she had stayed with him, if ...
She must have spoken out loud because Terry made her turn to him and took her face in his hands.
- Drive these thoughts out of your mind, my beloved! I beg you !...
He had said it with such a desperate tone that she threw herself to his neck, sobbing.
- Forgive me my love, sorry! ... I feel so lost! ...
- You're not guilty of anything ... Please don't blame yourself for his condition ... You couldn't have done anything ... And then ...
He hugged her tighter.
- This is what he wanted ... That we meet again ... Do not spoil what we have so hard won ...
She nodded, her head buried in his shoulder as she cried.
- Yes, yes, you're right. Sorry, sorry! ...
She straightened up, her face bathed in tears.
- Don't think that ... that I regret ... No! ... But I'm so scared, Terry! Oh yes, I'm so scared! - she said, redoubling her sobs against him.
For long minutes, the latter held her in his arms, caressing her back, her shoulders, murmuring soothing words which gradually calmed her tears. He,only, by his very presence, had this power to soften her pain and lighten her heart. This man, who in a few weeks, would become the one who would take care of her for the rest of their lives, her loving and protective husband, at the end of a union for which Albert had worked so hard ... Everything then became crystal clear in Candy's mind and a stifled cry escaped her throat as the emotion ran through her.
Albert knew ... he knew he was sick and wanted to put his family in order before ... he ...
She shook her head, refusing the terrible thought that was imposed on her ...
- I would like to go for a walk ... - she said with a tight throat. She had to get out of here before she went mad! ...
- I'm coming with you ... - said Terry while casting a discreet look at Georges who nodded.
- Take all your time. If anything happens, I'll let you know ...
The young couple left the room and walked to the park that surrounded the building. A few patients had already taken their places on benches, their faces turned towards the morning light which sparkled through the foliage of the hundred-year-old trees. It was nice, they could hear the joyful concert of the birds waking up, the wriggling of the big carps of the central basin, the soft melody of the water flowing in the nearby fountain ... Everything was so calm and soothing , and yet nothing could have calmed the inner upheaval that was shaking Candy.
- How am I going to be able to wait like this without being able to do anything ? - she said to herself. Lost in her thoughts, she let herself be guided by Terry's arm, indifferent to everything that was happening around her. She was no longer able to think calmly, her mind spinning in a loop as anguish gripped her. Terry easily guessed her concern and tried to create a diversion, trying to capture her interest in the surrounding landscape. But he knew that he would not find her in a normal state until Albert returned from his surgery, and especially when they had the surgeon's return ...
This wait lasted long hours, and it was not until the beginning of the afternoon that a nurse came to bring them the first news.
- The operation went well. Mr. Andrew is currently in the recovery room and should be escorted back to his room shortly. Doctor Walker will soon be coming to see you ...
- You're welcome ! - Said Candy, trembling with impatience - Tell him to do it as soon as possible! We can't wait any longer!
- Don't worry, it won't be long.
The nurse left the room then, against all expectations, reappeared a few minutes later, looking worried.
- Miss Andrew, Doctor Walker would like to speak with you in his office. Please follow me ...
With raised eyebrows in question, Candy stood up. She looked worriedly at Georges and Terry who didn't seem more reassured than she did. She stiffened. He brushed her hand as she walked past him, then watched her walk away, a lump in his throat and his heart filled with anguish ...
Doctor Walker was writing his report when the nurse brought Candy into his office. He was a man of about fifty, of medium height and broad shoulders. A small mustache with curved corners gave him the strange air of a social writer crossed with a rugby player. But the many diplomas that lined the walls, testified to the excellence of his qualification. He looked up at Candy, and the direct and determined look he gave her reassured her. With him, she was going to find out what was really about Albert's state ...
- Sit down Miss Andrew, please ... - he said, indicating a chair in front of him. She sat down obediently, her heart pounding. Worry and lack of sleep had frozen her pretty features, and her trembling lips threatened to rupture at any moment under the weight of the sobs she held back.
Despite the experience of years, Theodore Walker never got used to the devastated faces of the families he encountered. Time had hardened him but he was nonetheless helpless, each case although often similar in nature, differing from the others by the prognosis he brought ... An almost ordinary task but always terribly difficult ... Nervously handling his fountain pen, he searched for his words, the ones that would be most appropriate to describe the situation.
- I had you come to my office, Miss Andrew, because I preferred to talk to you alone. I could have done it with Mister Georges, your father's assistant, but you are his daughter, and it is up to you to be informed as a priority ...
He had abandoned his pen. Extreme tension had descended in the room. He put his forearms on the desk, put his hands together, and finally let go, in a dry and awkward tone despite all the kindness he felt towards the young woman with teary eyes sitting across from him.
- I'm not going to lie to you, Miss Andrew ... We were able to remove most of the tumor that was compressing your father's brain, but ...
- But? ... - said Candy, holding her breath.
- But it's only a respite ...
- What ... What do you mean? ...
- I mean that it is impossible to remove the tumor in its entirety ... It will unfortunately grow again ...
- Sorry doctor, but ... - interrupted Candy, feverishly - Even if it were to gain weight, you can always reduce it and allow it to stay that way ...
- Despite my efforts, and even if I remove part of it each time, it will gradually expand and ...
- But ... - the young woman moaned, her voice soaring in the treble - There is a treatment for that, isn't there?
- The tumor is being analyzed in the lab, but given its appearance, I can already deduce that we are dealing with a malignant tumor which, I regret, is ... incurable ...
- You mean that ... that my father is ... LOST? !
She heard herself say these words as if someone else was saying them, as if she was a spectator of this nightmarish scene. Everything was stuck in her head. Her ears were ringing with hyperventilation. She saw the doctor talking to her but her voice came back distorted, as if her head had been plunged under water. It was not possible, she was going to wake up !
- I'm really sorry ... - said the doctor looking down in embarrassment - If there was a chance, however small, to save him, I would tell you ... Unfortunately, your father's illness is already too advanced ...
- I don't understand… I don't understand… - repeated Candy shaking her head - A few weeks ago he still looked very healthy!
- In young populations like your father, this cancer develops very quickly ... And when it is detected, it is already too late ...
As if under the effect of a stab, Candy gave a cry of pain, doubled over on the armchair. It was as if dozens of blades were passing through her, her body was only pains and tears. She wanted to scream but her throat was still tied, leaving her breathless. Deep inside, she knew that there was no more hope, an intimate certainty that had haunted her since their departure from New York, as if the misfortune that befell her left her no possibility of doubting, so customary of the fact that it was with her, astonishing her with its sudden cruelty and abandoning her to the immensity of her sorrow.
At lightning speed, a flood of images and memories passed through her mind, only to vanish as quickly as they had come: her first meeting with Albert on Pony 'sHill ... The youthful features of the handsome young man that he was in the making, dressed in the traditional Scottish costume, had charmed the little girl she was and subsequently influenced her choice to go and live with the Leagans, which allowed her to meet Anthony, her first great love ... Then Mr. Albert the wanderer, the one who was unceremoniously driven from the land of Lakewood, the lover of nature and animals, the one who had saved her from the raging waters of the river, then later from the claws of Daniel who had set his sights on her. This Albert whom she had taken care of in Chicago, this friend so close to the point of loving him like a brother, this so secret man who had always been part of her life, this great uncle William who had taken her under his protection until giving her his name. This man whom she loved like a father, this man, whose presence and so precious support kept her in balance, her Albert, was going to disappear, and to leave in place only the void of absence, this absence that she knew so well and whose mere mention made her tremble with horror ...
- He is only 38 years old ... - she said to herself - 38 years old ! He still has his whole life ahead of him, so much to do and now ... that ... It's so unfair! Oh my God, Albert, how unhappy I am for you! ...
The recumbent face she had discovered in the room contrasted so much with that of the Albert she had left before leaving for Europe. She remembered his benevolent smile, his clear eyes shining with mischief as he accompanied her to the station. His encouraging and reassuring words as she was still reluctant on the platform to let the doctor and her mothers get by without her. Because he already knew everything about her fate and the happiness of the reunion that awaited him. He had planned everything, perhaps not ignoring that his time was limited and that he had to act quickly ...
- How much ... How much time does he have left? - she finally managed to pronounce.
- Six months, a year at best ... - replied the surgeon, sighing sadly.
- Six months ... - Candy whispered in a dead voice, her eyes lowered to her hands which were trembling on her knees. Her eyesight began to cloud again with tears, and a liberating sob escaped her chest.
- With great care and rest, he may be able to live a few more months ... - said the doctor, trying to provoke hope in this young suffering heart which groaned before him. But he must have lacked conviction because she looked up at him, and asked him in a surprisingly assertive voice:
- How will it evolve? Will he suffer?
- We will do our best to make him suffer as little as possible ...
- Doctor Walker, I insist! How will my father's illness evolve ?
In front of the determined gaze of his interlocutor, the surgeon complied and reluctantly launched into the story of the different stages that would mark the last months of Albert's existence: first the loss of motor skills, then that of speech. , the terrible pains, the loss of consciousness which would be fatal towards the end ... It seemed to her that she was also dying, so much what she heard was unbearable.
- Albert, Albert is going to die! ... - she said to herself, each word echoing in her head.
She looked around her. Everything had lost its form, its light, covered with a dark veil that only a miracle could tear, this miracle that she had so often requested in prayers but which had been refused each time. She knew that for Albert, no one would grant her any exception, even if she offered her life as a sacrifice, and her heart, at the end of her strength, broke ...
Terry didn't know how long he had been waiting in this hall for Candy's return. His eyes riveted on the door of Doctor Walker's office, he paced back and forth, his heart leaping at the slightest noise or movement he detected behind the partition. Suddenly the door opened as he was a few feet back. She appeared in the frame. She stumbled forward and turned a lost face in his direction. An icy shiver ran through his whole being. He understood ...
Candy ... - he whispered, his throat tied.
She didn't answer, fixing him with her empty gaze, mute, her parted lips not letting any sound escape ... She gestured towards him and in a burst of energy took a step to join him. Then her head tilted back and she collapsed into the arms he had extended as he rushed towards her ...
End of chapter 25