WARNING:

This story contains references to drug, sex, and violence as well as depictions of such. Please read at your own discretion.

Please Read, Review, Follow! All forms of criticism are welcome.

ROXAS

Another lunch, more of the same.

The gang was gathered around our favourite bench, closest to the lake sharing a pepperoni pizza we'd all pitched in for shooting the shit about our classes and missions. I sat on the end of the table, legs crossed scrolling through my phone as they debated which world was the hardest to deal with.

"I might be bias—" Kairi declared.

"You are bias," Ven cut in, earning a shove from her and a chuckle from the rest.

"But Radiant Garden constantly has the worst battles! I just had a mission there and I almost broke my ankle."

"You did not," Axel argued. "Besides, Atlantica is the worst. Not only are you fighting but you're swimming too? That's a total headache."

"You're just saying that cause all your fire attacks are weaker in water," I heard Riku rebut. I peeked over and saw his hand wrap about Xion's waist. I'd heard him say to Sora they were taking it slow but I remembered him sheepishly asking me for condoms and knew all that was a lie. I knew he had to be desperate to ask me and lucky for him I'd had a spare I'd never gotten to but it came with a five minute lecture about how I'd kick his ass if he ever hurt my best friend. He'd responded with a threat of what would happen if I ever told the others about it.

They seemed really happy together though, much more subtle than Sora and Kairi but genuinely infatuated with one another. If I wasn't such a cynic I'm sure somewhere deep down I would have found it romantic.

Just then, I felt a buzz and my eyes flickered to the top of my phone.

"Mari..?"

"Mari?" Kairi instantly drew attention to me from the others. I shrugged and answered the call.

"Hey, Mari…" I wasn't sure how to talk to her. We'd barely talked and when she did it always felt like doublespeak, like everything she said meant something else. It reminded me of Namine, especially when the blond was upset. She never yelled, just made you feel stupid and a little bit afraid.

However when we did talk, it was always about the little redhead and how Mari insisted whatever was going on she had no faith in because as she always insisted "I know that girl better than God". She'd said that if it was a relationship worth having then she would have known something about it, at least who the guy was before anybody else and since she hadn't, she knew it would end.

I didn't know if it was a promise or a threat but it did bring me a bit of relief. I would have never trusted somebody like Vanitas with someone as fragile as her. Hell, when Ven and Sora had tried to convince him to change the first time I was beyond skeptical. His nature was negativity, how could you ever believe a thing he said? And to find out somehow Hikari had found herself tied to him shook me. She couldn't handle that, she was still so new to it all and someone like Vanitas was always going to destroy her.

So I guess, Mari had been right the whole time.

"Hey Roxas," I heard her cheerful voice on the other end. "Is Hikari with you?"

"No, why?" I tensed instantly, "Is she in trouble? Where is she?"

Mari chuckled, "no, no, I just want to make sure you were alone."

"I mean I'm not alone," I replied. "I'm with Kairi and the others."

"Hi Mari!" Sora called, causing me to roll my eyes.

She giggled, "tell them I say hi. I just had to talk to you about something."

"Bet, hold on," I leapt off the picnic table and stepped away from the others. Their eyes were on me as I leaned against a tree at the edge of the forest.

Hikari had been a complete ghost yet again. Since her breakup I barely saw her and even when I did she was so quiet you'd forget she was there. I was worried, we all were but it was her first break up, she needed time to heal and process it without any intervention. Although Kairi adamantly disagreed with me over that.

"So what's up?"

"Nothing much, I just wanted to talk to you about Hikki."

That wasn't all that surprising, I mean she was our connection. But why would she ask me.

"Sure. Is something wrong?"

"Kind of."

My grip on my phone tightened, "where is she? What happened?"

"Oh, no, no," Mari chuckled. "It's nothing now it's just, I was hoping y'all could do something to cheer her up?"

Ah, the break-up. "Yeah, we've been trying but I think she just wants to be left alone."

"Well don't. 'Kari's got a bad habit of keep things in when she gets down. She self-isolates and when she's alone with her thoughts she'll just go in cycles blaming herself."

I had to agree with that. I'd seen her get down and disappear. It worried me but I had no idea how to help without pushing her away.

"What can we do?"

"Try and just get her out of her head. She needs to be around people again and she had such a good time with you on Halloween."

Once I took those edibles from Mari I was completely outside myself. Suddenly, all those repressed feelings and thoughts had been unchained. When I walked in to her room to get my stuff her sight alone knocked the air right out of me. Fuck, she was beautiful. I knew I'd have to hold back, show her that even though I didn't like it, I'd respect her enough to not meddle in her relationship. But that was all before I saw her.

I knew she was attractive, I knew I was incredibly attracted to her but those curves, those lips, those eyes… All in that angelic little costume? I craved to tear it all off her, throw her on her bed, and spend the rest of our night there. I had to touch her and I'd definitely gone too far when I licked her but I couldn't hold back. I kicked myself in the ass for it over and over again in my mind and had even messaged her to apologize, called too, but she laughed it off. When she brought up my profile picture on Kingstagram I rushed to pull it down but she'd told me to keep it. She thought it was like a badge of honour, showing we'd survived that night. So I did, all because it made her happy. And then I'd kicked myself again for feeling so giddy about making her happy.

If only I could do that all now.

"I just hope that's okay."

I blinked out of my thoughts, "huh?"

"Since you're seeing that girl now…"

"What girl?"

"The one from Tinker."

I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. That girl, Tessa. I don't know why I'd kissed her or why I'd taken her out twice after that. She went to an academy nearby and had blonde hair the same shade as Namine's. Maybe that's what drew me in. Personality-wise they were total opposites, in fact she reminded me of Mari. And I liked Mari but there was no way I could ever date someone like her seriously. Tessa wasn't as witty as Mari either and no where near Hikari but she was pretty and she knew that. Still, it was comfortable with her. I didn't have to try but I was also kind of bored. It was so predictable and it should have made me happy but it didn't.

On our first date we'd kept it casual with dinner and a movie and she was already trying to take things to the next level. As much as I wanted to be happy about making out with a girl again I wasn't. I couldn't focus, my mind kept wondering elsewhere. The only reason why I'd even got with her at Tinker was to let out some frustration. When she'd asked for my Kingstagram there was no way I could say no; how much of an asshole would that make me? Then when Hikari had told me to go out with her I'd done it more out of spite than interest. After the first date I'd hoped she'd lose interest but when she invited me to her dorm I stupidly thought to give it another try.

I'd brought a pizza, we'd talked and I'd made her laugh but forty-five minutes in she was all over me. Rather than pushing back like last time I'd just decided to give in. And it had been nice, good even, until I fucked it up.

"You're the hottest guy I've ever been with."

"That can't be true," I smirked as she pawed at my throat with kisses.

Tessa was so eager, too eager probably. But I wouldn't complain when her lips were sucking my jaw as roughly as she was. We'd just started and we were both already topless with her straddling me on her bed. I slid my hands over her narrow hips still covered in that tiny, pleated skirt.

"It is!" She pouted and looked into my blue eyes with her wide brown ones. "You're gorgeous Roxas."

I could feel myself blush, "t-thanks… I think."

"You're welcome," she pecked my lips once before wrapping her arms around my neck. "Are you sure you don't have a girlfriend?"

I shook my head, "of course not. I wouldn't be here if I did."

"But that girl…"

My eyes narrowed with confusion, "who?"

She rested her petite chest against me with that puppy dog look once more. "You know, the caramel one."

"Cara—?"

"The thick one, with big boobs and red hair?" Her frown deepened just as my face reddened. "She even had a big ass too, huh? That's what guys like now, right? Those kind of girls with little waists, the sexy ones? That's what my best friend Orah's always saying. Must be nice having a figure li—"

"W-what about her?" I had to stop her before a complete image of Hikari formed in my mind.

"Well I saw you two earlier."

"What?"

She nodded quickly, "on the dance floor and in the booth when it was just the two of you."

My eyes widened but before I could question her she continued. "My friends and I had the booth next to yours and when I was leaving it after needing a break I kind of peeked through the glass. I saw her on your lap on the floor. It looked like you guys were kissing."

Oh yes, after her drunken concert that only I'd been privy too. "No, she's my friend."

"She didn't look like your friend Roxas."

I could feel my jaw clench but tried to keep my face kind. The last thing I wanted to talk about was weirdgirl, especially with a stranger. She and I'd already figured it out. We were just friends with a strong attraction to each other. Besides, she'd been with him and even though they were no longer together there was no way I was going to try anything with her. She'd become one of my closest friends; I had to protect her from assholes, not become one of the ones she dated.

"I'm here with you," I drew the worry from her and locked our lips once more. Hikari and that body of hers that everyone seemed to notice wasn't our business, especially not now. So I'd distract her and distract myself with whatever this was. Soon we were back in our rhythm of licking and kissing. I was falling more and more into these inhibitions as her hand gripped me from beneath my jeans.

"I want it Roxas," she cooed in my ear. "Let's do it…"

It… How long had it been since I'd done it? Months, maybe even a year. I'd never really planned on doing it ever again despite how dramatic Axel had said I was being when I complained to him about Tessa's excitement. Still, right now, it wouldn't be so bad, right?

"Y-yeah… Okay."

Our lips smashed together once more before she slid down to my legs and pulled me out from my jeans. There was no hesitation when she popped me between her lips. She didn't start slow either, jumping straight to suckling hard and fast on the tip, causing me to writhe immediately.

"T-Tessa… You can slow down."

"No way!" She grinned. "Even here Roxas… You're perfect."

There was no time to sort her out when she jumped back into it. I felt my body strain from the heat, trying to calm myself or at least get into it. I rested a hand atop her head and threw mine back. I wasn't even all the way there yet, still semi-hard and really uncomfortable. Maybe if I just let my mind wander, maybe I could get into it. My eyes glanced towards her bookshelf and a glimmer of a memory of Hikari stroked my mind. I could feel myself stiffen at the sight of her hourglass figure and long, crimson locks. Her signature scent of flowers and fruits. That silky, smooth golden skin and those ombre violet-blue kind eyes suddenly coated in tears.

"I wanted to love him, Roxas! More than anything… I wanted to look at Vanitas and say I love you."

She was shattered and when she cried in my arms I couldn't build up the strength to save her. I couldn't manage to get a word out and maybe it was better I didn't. What on earth could I say to heal her? All I could do was hold on to Hikari and hold back this rage. Why couldn't I have done more or said something?

"Why wasn't it you Roxas?" She'd whispered with her lips only inches away from my own. "Why couldn't I just say it to you?"

I swallowed back the pressure building within me and tried to bring my focus back on Tessa but I was blinded by the memory of goldengirl and that sad smile.

"Why couldn't I say…" she'd said from those perfect peakless, full lips. "'Roxas, I love you'?"

"Fu— ah! Hikari!"

I collapsed inside her, splattering whatever I'd held back for so long. My chest rose and fell rapidly and my vision was a blur. The feeling hadn't taken me there, it wasn't all that intense. But the thought… the thought of her…

"Is that her name?"

My eyes returned to Tessa straightening onto her knees, wrapping her arms around her chest. "The girl from Tinker?"

"T-Tessa!" Quickly, I yanked myself back into my jeans and reached for her but she flinched back. "I'm sorry. My head's a mes—"

"Is Hikari the girl you're in love with?"

I froze at the sight of her pain yet again at a loss of words.

"It is, isn't it?" She smirked, a poor attempt to hide the tears building in her eyes. "Hikari… She's really pretty Roxas. Makes sense why you like her."

"Tes—"

"But that's not just it, is it? You don't just like pretty girls. Hikari… She must be something, right?"

I couldn't make a sound and rather cast my eyes down in shame.

"Hikari…" she giggled and my eyes shot to her face. Although tears streamed down her cheeks she grinned.

"He's all yours. Sounds like… He always has been."

I really was the worst, getting some poor, innocent girl wrapped up in my bullshit.

I'd left after that and apologized profusely over text but Tessa had only sent me one response: tell her. But there wasn't anything to tell. It was an accident, a miscalculation. I'd been thinking about her and it was like how we'd deciphered, we were attracted to each other. Of course doing something as intimate as that and having her image in my head would cause such a reaction. But her words that evening stuck with me, they kept me up. Roxas, I love you. Even though she was so fragile, her voice breathless and teary-eyed hearing those words from her pretty mouth, hearing those words from my light… it made my heart skip a beat.

"We aren't together."

"Really?"

"Yup," I didn't want to get into it, I already felt shitty enough. "But anyway, I'll talk to the others and we'll figure out something."

"Great! I knew I could count on you. You really care about her, don't you Roxas?"

My cheeks reddened, "yeah, I guess."

"Ain't no guessing! You and Hikki… You're really something special."

Then Mari said goodbye and left me in a stunned state. I'd only been able to mutter a short bye as her words twirled in my head. She shouldn't have said that, we shouldn't have thought about any of that, not now. Hikari and Vanitas had just broken up, there was no way I could—

"Roxas!"

I turned to my friends as Sora waved me over. That's right, this wasn't the time. I had to thin of something to make weirdgirl smile again.

"What'd Mar want?" Axel asked.

"It's Hikari, she wants us to do something fun for her. She says letting her mope any longer isn't healthy."

"She's absolutely right!" Kairi exclaimed. "It's been a few weeks, we can't let her keep going like this."

"But it's still pretty fresh," Riku replied, Xion nodding with agreement. "Besides, what could we even do to help?"

"And no Roxas," glared Sora. "Killing Vanitas is not the answer."

My friends chuckled as I pouted from my seat. It may not have been the answer but it sure as hell would make me feel better.

—

I was the last to leap out of the car. The weather was cool and the streets not too busy as the guys and I made our way into the karaoke bar. Kairi had come up with the idea and Sora had been the one to put the reservation through. As much as I wanted to believe this was a good idea, I had my doubts. First of all, going through something as traumatic as she did definitely wouldn't put anyone in the mood to sing anytime soon. I know if was the last thing on my mind during my own breakup. Speaking of which, the next thing was the fact that Kairi had invited everyone; including the girl Hikki got along the least with.

I tried to talk her out of it but Kai was notoriously stubborn and once she had her mind made up no one could stop her. So now we marched down the dimly lit halls, guided by our host to the room I knew the couple must have already been in.

The bar had a modern flair with hardwood floors and lowlights; it was pretty trendy. When we were let into our own room is was just as nice as I'd remembered it; wide, black sectional couches, a grey shaggy carpet with a large circular glass table in the middle and right at the front of the room, a large flat screen flashing bright colours next to the slim black karaoke machine. It had been a while since we'd come here as a group. I wish it was under better circumstances.

"Hey guys," Ven called from the couch. He, Namine, and Isa had arrived early to make sure we'd get a room. He was dressed pretty casually, light jeans, white sneakers, and a beige sweatshirt which was similar to Isa's look but with a pair of short black boots, dark jeans, and a deep navy blue sweater. Namine had arrived in a long, light pink pleated skirt, white stop, and a brown cardigan much to big for her. It was getting pretty cold out there, even she couldn't keep up with her short white dresses.

We said our hellos before all making our way to a spot in the room. I made sure to sit as far from them as possible and had only nodded my head as a greeting. I was trying, I really was but no one could ask me to be more civil than I was. Things were far too awkward.

"Where's Hikari?" Namine asked.

"She's coming with the girls," Riku answered. "They shouldn't be too long."

"I'm texting them now!" Sora chimed.

Great, now we had to sit here and ignore this uncomfortable tension. Reminding myself to chill was the hardest part about this. It all just felt so unnatural. Things had been one way and in a few months everything had changed so drastically.

"Roxas?"

A soft voice pulled me from my thoughts. Namine smiled, "can we talk?"

Talk? What was there to talk about? We'd settled this, why bother talking? Yes, this was awkward but us talking would have been much worse. I gazed at Axel who nudged me forward. Of course he'd recommend talking, he wants out old group dynamic back. The others seemed to plead to me with their eyes so I decided to suck it up and rose from my seat.

"Yeah."

Her little smile widened and she led me out into the hall. Even though I didn't know what she wanted to talk about, I knew I had a free things I wanted to confront her about. Mainly, whatever it was she said to Hikki that had set her off. She said she'd handle it but I'd told myself if the opportunity came up I planned on questioning Namine. So, I followed her but from a distance before we ended up at a far-off corner of the lobby.

"Should we sit?"

"I rather stand."

She nodded slowly, "how are you?"

"Fine, I guess."

"That's great."

"Totally," my voice dripped with sarcasm and I saw the corners of her mouth dip into a frown. Ugh, I was being an asshole. I had to be willing to hear her out and that started with trying to be just a bit nicer.

"And you?"

She seemed surprised that I'd even asked, "I'm well, thank you."

Okay, now that the pleasantries were over it was time to get down to business. "So, what's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you… About Hikari."

Figures, "what about her?"

"I had to warn you. Roxas, she's dangerous. I know it may not seem like it but trust me. I've seen some things and I worry about you getting caught in the chaos."

My eyes narrowed as my anger rose. Dangerous? How dare she? She was the furthest thing from danger! Hikari had been nothing but kind and patient with me, even when I didn't deserve it. She was my friend, slowly becoming one of my best.

"The chaos," I repeated. "Namine, what chaos? What are you even talking about?"

She sighed, "it's difficult to explain, Roxas. I just need you to trust me."

Trust her? Oh, that was rich. Trust the same girl who'd dumped me because she'd fallen for somebody else while being with me? I'd have to be a complete and utter fool to ever have that level of faith in her again.

"How do you even know any of this?"

"Visions," she mumbled. "Memories. She came to me to try and decode her dreams but her mind is fragmented—"

"And that's her fault?"

"I never said that," she frowned. "It doesn't matter who's to blame. Based on what I could see, she's bad news. I know she's a sweet girl but for your own safety, Roxas, please distance yourself from her."

"No wonder she was so hurt," I muttered, thinking about to the girl weeping all over me as she recounted what she believed were failures.

"What?"

"Whatever you said to her is not helping her situation," I replied. "She's not fragmented or broken, okay? She's been nothing but good to me and I'm not gonna let you slander her name."

"Slander? Roxas—"

"No," I snapped. "No, you don't get to just waltz in and out of my life and dictate who I do and don't talk to. You left me, Namine. You ended things. And through all that I've been more than understanding. But the moment it looks like I'm finally getting over you, I'm in danger?"

She crossed her arms and lowered her eyes, clearly frustrated. "You aren't getting it—"

"Of course I'm not getting it because it's a bunch of bullshit!"

The chatter from the front desk ceased. I could feel the employees eyes on me, as well as the blonde glaring my way. I groaned, I hadn't meant to let her get to me but here I was almost losing my cool in the middle of a karaoke bar.

"Listen, this night is important for her. I'm not gonna let you mess it up."

"I am not—"

I raised my hand to silence her, "she's my friend, Namine. Even if she's in danger, do you really think I'd let her face that on her own?"

"This isn't any regular kind of danger."

"It doesn't matter," I replied. "I don't just give up on people."

She winced at that one, I hadn't meant for it to sting but if the shoe fit.

"So please, just drop this. Drop the ominous warnings and all this talk of future problems. Stop scaring her into believing she's the devil or some shit. Whatever happens, I'll handle it."

"But—"

"I'll handle it. Now, we're supposed to be having a fun night so can we please just put this behind us and just enjoy ourselves?"

Namine's brows creased as she pondered it over but when she glared back at me I knew the topic was no where done.

"I'm not letting this go," she declared and marched ahead.

"You never do," I mumbled and followed once more.

Upon returning to the room I tossed myself back in the corner. The others were all smiles, probably hoping we'd made some kind of progress. She was perfect at putting on a happy act but I could see through her bullshit. The girl was seething which meant this was far from over.

God, I needed to vent but knew now was definitely not the time. So I kicked back and cracked jokes with Axel over Isa. It didn't bring me back to a hundred percent but it did help. Before we knew it, we could hear some distance chatter approaching our room.

"Guys, I'm fine it just hurts…" Hikari's voice was soft but even through the door I could hear the pain in it. "To be honest, singing is the last thing I want to do."

"Then it isn't fine," I heard Xion reply. "And you love singing! You think we don't hear it but we do and you're great at it. Let's just forget all about he-who-shall-not-be-named and training and just have fun again."

"We miss you, Hikki," Kairi added. "The real you."

"We're all just trying to get that girl back."

"Guys…" I could hear the redhead muse, probably with a smile. "You're too sweet."

"Plus Roxas is really looking forward to it," Kairi lied, earning a few chuckles from my friends in the room. "He has a beautiful voice, you'll change your mind when you hear it."

My face immediately went red. The others smirked at me but I raised my middle finger towards them and avoided their looks.

"Y-you think so?" I heard the redhead say. "Roxas singing, hm?"

"I'm sure he's got a song just for you somewhere deep down inside," Xion joked, making the other two laugh.

"Deep down, Kairi giggled as we heard the door click.

"Ocean floor," Hikari said just as all three girls entered the room.

I watched her expression change from exhaustion to one of surprise and joy. She smiled as she gazed through out the room, enough to even put a smirk on my face. Maybe this really could be fun.

—

"It'll be fun!" Xion nudged the redhead. "Just turn off your mind for just a little while, Hikki."

We were only twenty minutes in with Sora, Kairi, Riku, and Xion having already tackled the mic. Axel had just gone and was all too proud of himself for nailing a wordy rap verse off a song I'd never heard before. Between all the singing and cheering, we all cracked jokes and talked about school, Orenda, or just whatever was on our minds. Hikari had taken a seat beside me and I'd glance at her every now and then just t make sure she was still having a good time. Luckily, the redhead hadn't stopped smiling since we got here.

Well, that was until Xion, Kairi, and Sora had started pestering her to get on stage.

"Turn it… off?" Her fingers pressed against her collar bones as she thought it over.

"Guys," sighing, I leant forward, smiling at the redhead. "If she doesn't feel like singing she really doesn't have to. Stuff like this—"

Suddenly, I felt her hands on mine. I stared back, blushing but she only grinned.

"I'll turn it off. I want to… I want to forget."

Hikari rose and walked to the machine. She clicked away at it before turning the mic stand towards us. The room filled with gentle strums and she swayed along, eyes closed but tension over her face. I was worried, maybe I shouldn't have been but I was. Her fingers gripped the mic and a small smile spread on her lips.

"I'm writing this letter to let you know I'm really leaving and, no, I'm not keeping your shit," I'd only heard it a few times but her voice was so pure, raw and breathtaking. I remember once her telling me how Mari had dragged her to join choirs when they were younger and she'd always hated it but hearing her here was incredible. She really was gifted.

"Heard you got some new homies, got some new hobbies, even a new hoe, too," she continued to muse, earning a chuckle from the others at the last line. Even I smirked, if this is what it took for her to get it all out I wasn't going to stop her. She pulled the mic from the stand and traversed the tiny stage, singing with a faint smile on her lips.

"Let me tell you a secret," Hikari walked towards me, running a her hand over my hair. "I been secretly banging your homeboy." My cheeks reddened just as the group hollered. I spotted Kairi filming the entire event and hid in my hoodie once more.

"Oh, no, she didn't. Ooh, yes, I did," she continued to muse passing the redhead with a smirk. "Oh, no, she didn't. I'll do it again."

Hikari was completely lost in the music as she found her way back to the platform but a sad look crossed her eyes, "leave me lonely for prettier women. You know I need too much attention."

My brows knitted. It didn't matter how much confidence she feigned, it still bothered her. I didn't blame her, it was always going to bother her. Even though I was in a much better place, sometimes what happened between Namine and I still got to me.

"I could be your supermodel… If you believe, if you see it in me," she cooed and returned to the mic stand once more. "I don't see myself. Why I can't stay alone just by myself? Wish I was comfortable just with myself… But I need you."

God, if I ever saw Vanitas again I would destroy him. He left her feeling so forgotten. It was just like Mari said, whatever confidence she'd built up in Orenda he'd totally diminished. It wasn't just the song either, it was her refusal to meet anyone's eye or do anything social. He'd made her feel expendable and there was no worse feeling.

"Ooh just get a load of them, they got chemistry all they could say." Her brows furrowed, anger in her eyes. "We like brother and sister, look so good together. Bet they fuckin' for real and they was right."

Her grasp on the mic stand tightened, determination and rightful contempt all over her face, "that's why I stayed with ya. The, the dick was too good, it made me feel good."

There was laughs at that but I smiled once she sang the next line, "for temporary love…You was a temporary lover."

Vanitas was never going to mean a thing to her, not again. I would make sure of it.

—

"Give us one song, Roxas," Axel whined.

"No," I sipped on the bitter liquor in my glass.

The night had been going well, some more of the others had sang, Sora'd even forced Riku into a duet. Best of all, I flew under the radar for the most part. I was having a great time just watching, especially Hikari as the night went on.

"I'm ordering wings," Riku mumbled half heartedly. "Anybody want anything?"

"Can we get a pizza?" Ventus asked from the floor, Namine sitting between his legs skimming through her phone. "I'm starving."

"If we're doing pizza can we do like a half vegetarian thing?" Xion asked. "I'm about to wipe out the entire population of pigs in Orenda at this rate."

I sniggered as Riku responded, "are you going to actually eat the vegetarian slices and not steal the meat off mine?"

"I make no promises."

"I'm down for vegetarian," Namine said looking up from her phone.

"Same," Isa spoke, I'd forgotten he was in the room, he was always so quiet.

"Since when are you a vegan?" Axel glared.

"Vegetarian," he corrected. "And I'm not, I'm just not trying to get in the way of you and bacon."

We bellowed out laughing as Axel rolled his eyes.

"For wings let's do a mix," Sora chimed. "Like BBQ and the hottest thing they got."

Kairi nodded eagerly, "and lots of dipping sauce."

Riku turned back to the small screen and began typing away, "Works for me. Anybody else? Roxas, Hikki?"

"I just want fries," I replied, spinning my finger upon the rim of my glass. "Like a shit ton of fries."

"Oh, if we're doing fries can we get hot sauce, honey, and peanut butter?"

The eyes of our entire group landed on the golden redhead. She pouted instantly.

"It's a really good combo," she explained. "You mix all of that and it's the perfect dipping sauce!"

"Peanut butter?" I repeated.

"Yeah," Hikari scowled. "It's for a thicker consistency."

"This is worse than pickles and ice cream," her frowned deepened but it wasn't like I was lying. "Not as bad as fish and cake though, nothing will ever be as bad as that."

"Okay first of all," she pointed towards me. "You admitted you liked pickles and ice cream last time we hung out—"

"Yeah because you practically forced me to try it," another truth. We'd been studying in her room a day or so ago and as expected, she was still depressed over her breakup. When she returned from her kitchen with ice cream and pickles I just thought it was a girl thing until she dipped the the green vegetable into the birthday cake flavoured ice cream. She'd seen me staring and demanded I try it, saying if I wouldn't she wouldn't make me a partner at our made-up company Far-Out Flavours.

"But I didn't keep forcing you to eat it," she had a good point. It was surprisingly pretty good. "And second, the moment I perfect the Cape-cod Cakes recipe Far-out Flavours will be the talk of the city, just wait and see."

"I'm sure the board will be happy to hear that," I joked while she giggled. "I'll be sure to schedule a meeting."

"I'm lost," Isa mumbled, looking far more confused than the others.

"You don't wanna know," Sora chuckled.

"They do this thing where they make up the grossest food combos," Ven explained. "If you get them started, they will literally never stop."

"You're just jealous we've got a business plan," I watched Hikari nod her head in agreement.

"This is why we aren't letting you guys on the board," she added.

The group burst into laughter once more but as I grinned, I couldn't take my eyes off Hikari with a hand brought to her lips as she chuckled along. Her violet-blues ended up on me and suddenly it felt like were the only two in the room. It felt like I was looking at her in slow motion like when she sang again. Her lashes fluttered and white teeth nibbled down on her lip in a smile making me lick my own lips. How did this happen? Even when I was sober I'd catch a look of those eyes and her presence alone would overpower me.

"Right, Roxas?"

I nodded slowly, bringing my lips to my glass. I had to keep it together, control the twists in my stomach and give some kind of illusion of control.

"Great!" Axel distracted my vision, shoving a black mic in my hand. "You're up."

My eyes darted towards him, "what?"

"You're next," Sora sneered. "You just agreed."

"I never—"

"Can we hear it, Roxas?"

Fuck, she even sounded cute. I looked back to Hikari who's hands huddled over her full lips, as if hiding her smile from me.

"Everyone else has heard your voice," her cheeks flushed. "Can I, Roxas?"

I wanted to decline, tell them this was stupid but when it was her, I had to say yes. I was still scarred from the last time I rejected her and even blamed myself for the pain she was going through now.

Grabbing the mic, I scoffed, "fine, whatever."

I could hear their cheers as I climbed to the low platform of the room. My hood stayed on my head and I hoped it would swallow me up but I had no luck. Pointing to the screen I flashed through a song I knew almost too well, seeing as I'd spent weeks blasting it after my fight with weirdgirl.

A click of a few buttons and an unsettling melody filled the room. The girls looked confused but I heard Riku snigger as he settled back in his seat, "of course."

My lips tightened but once the guitar strummed I took a deep breath.

"Rain is falling on bad timing, know it's nothing," I refused to look at her and only leaned against the karaoke system, my back to the screen and my eyes to the ground.

"Just knocking, I can't help it 'cause it's over, hello?" The others were silent as my voice crooned through the speakers. "I can't help but say it's over… So screwed up."

"Yeah, it's true, true I'm stuck in the loop. Might sound strange, yeah," I couldn't help but sway once the chorus kicked in. "Though it's true to be stuck in the system. Time rewinds, you looked at me baby…"

I didn't want to, I really tried not to but as the words came out I could hear what I had intended to be a simple song grow more intense.

"Yeah, it's true, true I'm stuck in the loop. Losing control, I can't get over… In the void I can't be sober." The song seemed to pull me from the platform as my hand found itself pressing my chest. "You're killing me softly… you're killing me softly."

"See broken promises and I know this is what you put me through," this second verse made it impossible to keep my eyes off her. "Unwelcome guest brings me back to guilts again with no word… So screwed up."

My voice carried over the chorus as whatever emotion I was trying to hold back completely fell out of my grasp. I cradle the mic in both my hands and climbed on the table that had a few of our drinks on it. I was careless as I stood before her. The liquor I'd been nuzzling in the corner had finally taken a hold of my senses. She was completely mystified as my fist clenched, lightly tapping over my heart. This night was for her and suddenly all the pain of knowing what she'd done was spilling out from me. I couldn't do this but I couldn't stop either.

I leaned forward into her, my hand holding itself out to the redhead and she took it and rose slowly.

I dragged her onto the table staring at those glistening eyes when my hand clutched onto the back of her neck .

"I'd be howlin' for ya, before the shadows drag me under…" she looked so sorrowful, just like how I felt. "'Cause the darkness took me over, I wouldn't know what I have lost…"

The melody shifted, darker and crueller when both our lips parted.

"I'll be lost in desire, desire," there was agony from us both, definitely for different reasons as we sang. "If you won't hold me… Hurt me more, more…!"

What was I doing? Why was I hurting? Why the fuck did I care? I had to stop but hearing her guide me through the notes brought me comfort. I wasn't hurting alone and neither was she.

"Lost in desire, desire," my hand slid down to the small of her back while she gripped onto my black hoodie. Her hands were trembling against my chest with the mic the only thing between us. "If you won't hold me… Kill me more, more…!"

We mused against one another, looking at the flashes of each other's misery. Nothing else mattered like this, not when she was still hurting so badly and there was absolutely nothing I could do to make it stop.

"…If you won't hold me, kill me more, more…!"

The last of the lyrics left our lips and the microphone slipped from my fingers and I cradled her jaw. She clasped her own hands over her mouth as those tears I thought I'd finally managed to stop formed in her eyes.

"Hik—"

"Looks like we've got some professionals here!"

Our heads turned to the sound of our host bursting into the room with two others holding all the food we'd splurged on.

"We heard you guys in the hall," she grinned, completely oblivious to what she and her co-workers had just walked in on. "You're both great!"

"I need air," Hikari croaked. "I'm sorry."

I couldn't stop her before she hopped off the table and practically flew out of the room. I climbed down staring as her red hair turned down the hall.

"Everything all right?"

"Y-yeah," I heard Sora's voice but couldn't hear a word of whatever excuse he'd made. The smell of hot, fried food brushed past my nostrils when I peered down to see our host and the other employees set it down. I scooped up a container of fries, sauces, two bottles of water and ran out of the room.

Muffled music from either side of the hall surrounded me but I paid it no mind until I reached the check-in where three employees sat talking amongst themselves.

"Sorry," I interrupted. "Did a girl with long red hair come by here?"

"Yeah," the guy amongst the two women answered. "She went out that door."

"She looked really upset," one the girls answered.

The other nodded, "I think she was crying."

"Thanks," I had to find her, take care of her, make her smile again. I turned against the heavy back door and pushed it open. In moments I spotted her looking into the evening sky as she sat on a staircase. I let out a sigh of relief. At least she was still here and in one piece. I refused to let her out of my sight and approached her with a smile.

"Hikari?"

She stifled her muffled cries and dabbed her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.

"S-sorry," she whispered. "I guess I'm not as strong as I thought."

A took a seat beside her, "don't say that."

"It's true… I mean I'm crying at karaoke, who does that?"

"Isa does actually," I sniggered, thinking back to one of our past trips to the bar. "Seriously, Eye of the Tiger gets him every time."

That made her laugh at least. He'd kill me for telling her but it was worth it to see that smile. I showed her the snacks I'd stolen, "sad or not, I know you're definitely hungry."

Her smile drug mine out as she reached for the sauces and instantly started whipping together one of her crazy concoctions.

"Should I say a prayer?" I asked as she stirred her mixture together using her pinkie.

"You're going to like it," Hikari declared and held her finger to me. "Try it."

My face flushed but she seemed completely oblivious to this deja vu. She only grinned and pushed it to my lips. I gulped and took her finger into my mouth, having a quick swipe of the sauce. The moment the tangy beige mixture hit my tongue my eyes brightened. Fuck, she was right again.

"See?" She suckled on that same finger, blind to her own eroticism yet again, before taking a fry and dipping it in the sauce. "The board's gonna lose their shit when they taste this."

I guffawed and followed her lead. The mix of the crispy, salty fries were perfect for this thick topping but I hadn't followed her out here to discuss our imaginary business.

"Hikki," her eyes met mine and just the look on her face said she knew what was coming. "It's going to hurt for a while… But not forever."

"I know," she gave me a tight-lipped smile. "It's just… cheating? It wasn't like we weren't intimate."

"It's not about that," I interrupted. I didn't want the details to be honest. "It's about not caring about you enough to just not do it."

Her borrows furrowed and instantly I worried if I'd been to harsh. I didn't mean to be so blunt but it was the truth. He was a selfish prick who would sooner hurt a child before himself.

"I've been thinking about him, y'know?" Hikari whispered. "I was foolish, Roxas. I really thought all those feelings… All those stupid feelings were love. Can you believe it?"

"He made you believe that. Feelings… They're so easy to manipulate in the right hands."

She stared back at me, those pretty eyes reading mine to try and find some kind of work around but she gave up with a sigh.

"I can't believe how stupid I was," she said. I opened my mouth to rebut but she cut me off. "Don't deny it, I was. I thought I knew him better than you all did. I really thought I was special and could see through the bullshit. Like, the person you all knew was just a costume and I was the only person who could see him without it. God."

"Is that what made you like him?" The question fell from my lips before I could catch it.

She pondered. Her eyes were in the sky as she folded her arms over her chest.

"I think so," she replied. "There's just something so romantic I think, to be somebody's one and only. We all show face, you know? Dozens of faces even… But to think there's this one reserved just for you and to fall in love…"

A small smile spread on her lips still focused on the stars.

"To fall in love and see that one face, reserved for you at your most alone… Nothing would make me happier."

"Hikari…" her honesty left me speechless. I'd always known she was a romantic but not to this extent. Her eyes were gleaming, thinking of this privacy one would share with someone they loved. But to ask someone to let their guard down that much… Vanitas would have never done that, he couldn't. Hell, could anyone?

"That's a lot to ask for."

"I know, but when you meet the one they make it worth it."

There was a sadness to her as he mind whirled with thoughts of devotion. I felt horrible for her. To know that she'd thought so highly and excepted so much of that jackass only for him to cheat on her had to be painful. Especially with this being her first relationship. It seemed like she fell fast and when she did, she fell hard. But who knew what'd she'd be like now after what she'd been through?

"Thanks for coming out to check on me."

I blinked out of my thoughts, "yeah, of course. Anytime."

She smiled, small but tender and rose to her feet.

"Let's head back, yeah?"

I nodded and she helped me up. I was about to pull my hands from hers when I suddenly felt her head rest on my chest. I could feel my face warm-up but drew short breaths to keep calm.

"Thank you, Roxas."

I didn't know what that was for but refrained from asking. Instead, I laid my head atop hers and squeezed her hands in mine. We were still together, pressed so close I could her her teeth begin to chatter and broke us apart to head back indoors.

I held the door for her as we made our way back inside and tossed out our trash. She was debating me yet again about her fish and cake theory but I wouldn't budge no matter what she said or did. There was no world where that shit would ever taste like food.

"Feeling better?"

The hosts from behind the desk grinned, watching as if they'd been waiting for us.

"Much," she whispered and smiled towards me.

"You guys are so cute," one of the women replied. "Makes me miss my boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend is literal trash, Bria," the guy snorted.

"Yeah," the other girl agreed. "Her boyfriend actually loves her, yours barely even remembers you exist. You better keep that one, girl."

"Oh, no," could my face get any redder? "I'm not—"

"I know," Hikari gripped onto my hand. "He really is a dream, isn't he?"

With widened eyes, I felt her fingers draw my cheek to her lips as she kissed it adoringly.

"The love of my life."

I could hear the three coo in admiration as Hikari led me back to our room. I was stunned to say the least. Since when could she lie so easily and casually? Especially about something like this. Her small hand was still in mine, those hips swaying from side-to-side as we approached our room.

"Wait," I blocked her from even grazing the door. "Why?"

She exhaled with a curious smile, "don't you ever just want to live in another reality, Roxas? Like the one where maybe… Maybe things between us was different?"

My brows lowered and a small smile spread across my lips. She was right. When we made up I thought maybe something would happen but if she was anything, it was loyal. No matter my advances or casual flirting, she'd never respond the way I wanted. More and more I realized how vindictive I was being trying to give her affection in some attempt to hurt Vanitas. So I cooled off. I was happy with being around her and I barely understood my own feelings so maybe this was for the best.

Still, it would have been nice.

—

The music started, a low-key dance track and Hikari tossed me a mic. Damn, she was right. I did know this track. It was the one we'd danced to on Halloween before she disappeared with Vanitas.

I slid back in the couch, I refused to join her in her antics. I'd said I'd do one song and that's exactly what I'd done. Still, she strolled around the makeshift stage, twirling with a smile, eyes on me.

"Tell me what you came for," she sang effortlessly. "Here, 'cause I'm breaking down." Her hips were mesmerizing as she crooned the lyrics. Her lithe body rolled and her freehand traced her figure. Our friends, especially the girls, cheered her on but I was burning bright red. The redhead circled the room, singing to and serenading each of our friends, bringing laughs to her performance as they jammed to her voice. I couldn't help but smile as she made her way back to the center.

"Love always feels better, when it's true," she pulled her hair from that messy bun and pointed directly at me. "Love tastes way too bitter, when it's you…"

She leaped onto the table as the chorus rolled in and focused in on me. "I'm all out of love, you gave it away…"

Dropping to her knees she leaned into me, a hand propped on my thigh to keep her up as her sultry voice drew me in close.

"I'm hoping that experience could get you to change."

Hikari had me completely wrapped up in her again. As she crooned on, she slid into my lap, earning cheers from our friends. She pouted, and tilted my beet red face close to her confident one, "I'm hoping that experience could get you to change."

Whether I liked it or not, the male half of the duet was rolling in. If she was going to force me to sing along with her I wouldn't make it easy on her.

In a moment, she sang on, I scooped her into my arms and marched us back to the stage. The group continued to crack up and cheer as she hung over my shoulder, singing on before I finally got her back on her feet.

"Love's no pressure," I sang and the redhead danced around me gleefully. Even if I hated something, seeing her happy always made it worth it. "When it's with someone who tends to all of your emotions…"

The words came out so effortlessly from us but it was that spark in her eye that made this feel so weightless. There was no pressure with her, no thinking. With Hikari I could just be and right now, being forced into singing this duet in front of our cheering friends made me into the me I wanted.

I could see the colour and joy that made me so curious about her in the first place return to that supple skin and the glitter of the violet-blues. That light he'd tried to steal from her was finally shimmering through.

—

It was the night we were headed back to campus, about an hour or so before curfew. Still, I was exhausted and hopped into the shower before heading straight to bed. I'd just finished sending Mari a text, letting her know that our mission was a success when my phone chimed once more.

I skimmed through and rolled my eyes.

"Please Roxas, be careful with Hikari. She's going to hurt you."

My blood was boiling and before I could even think it through I dialled her number. The moment the ringing stopped, I exploded.

"Ro—"

"Don't talk to Hikari, don't talk about Hikari, and don't even think of trying to save me from Hikari."

Namine was silent on the line but even that managed to agitate me further.

"You destroyed me, Namine," I snapped. "You took my heart and completely obliterated it. I forgot everything about myself because you decided that suddenly this me wasn't good enough. And you did that with my fucking duplicate!"

"I'm so—"

"No, I'm so sick of the fucking apologies!" I cried. "I'm healing, learning to move past it and in that I found someone that reminded me just who I was. I got to be myself again and feel appreciated for that. I'm finally happy again! And you want to take that away from me? Was it not enough the first time?"

I could hear her wiper on the line but her tears were no longer my problem. Whatever she felt was nothing against my anger. After all she'd done, for her to think she had some kind of right to dictate my choices and manage my happiness was not only laughable but insulting.

"Hikari is good for me," I sighed. "Really good. I need her and she needs me. We're happy Nami, we're really happy."

"You say that like you're a couple," she chuffed. My brows creased from her bitter words but chose to continue.

"We don't have to be for us to be happy together," I replied. "We're soulmates."

"Soulmates? Roxas, you can't be ser—"

"I am. So I don't care who she dates or what you have to say, I know what's in her heart. That's all that matters."

"You're making a mist—"

"No, Namine," I growled. "You made a mistake. You led me to believe that I mattered. You built me up only to fall for another guy. Fine, whatever. I'm moving past it more and more each day. Stop trying to hold me back."

"It's too late, isn't it?" She sighed and my eyes rolled once more. "You're in love with her."

Groaning, I threw myself back on my bed, "oh for fuck's sake—"

"You are!" Her voice screeched. "Whether you're ready to admit it or not. I know you, Roxas. Better than you know yourself. I can tell."

"If that was true, you'd know you were wrong."

"She's going to break your heart."

A laugh left my lips, "and you would know, right? Considering you wrote the manual."

Namine could only mutter a response, she probably all over her face. "Just be careful. The pain you'll feel if you keep her around will be immense and despite what you may think, I never want you to feel that."

"And despite what you may think, Hikari would never hurt me like you did—"

"You're right, she'll hurt you worse."

A look of surprised crossed my face before dissolving to one of anger yet again. Hundreds of horrible things ran through my mind to say and to call her but it wouldn't make me feel better, hell, it would probably make me feel worse. So I took a breath and gave one last warning before cutting the call.

"You made your choice, Namine. Now I'm making mine."

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hello reader(s)! Just wanted to say thank you so much for reading!

Please Read, Review, Follow! All forms of criticism are welcome.