This is a bonus chapter my good friend and co-author RedLiteAlexi has written for this story, and I think he did a pretty damn good job at it.
I´m pretty sure you´ll love it as well 😉
Let´s go!
Beastars – Into the spotlight
Bonus chapter – Ex´s and Oh´s
by RedLiteAlexi
POV Haru
I pulled downward until I heard the wooden doors' metal latch squeak. It wasn't too hard to open even though it was built for a more average sized animal. It seemed somewhat symbolic that the door dividing the garden grounds from the rest of the campus wasn't built for me. While the massive undertaking of caring for the school's garden fell on my shoulders, it was made for other people who only visited. Either way, I managed. I entered the garden and shut the door behind me, a soundful clack came as I did.
In the cold winter afternoon, I looked up at the grey sky and sighed. I couldn't wait for the spring to arrive. A time where my plants didn't have to be confined to the greenhouse and could blossom in the warmth of the sun. I looked down at the cold solid dirt. "So devoid of life, of color." I said aloud.
The world seemed like it was in retrenchment. After the energy of the holidays, the winter was simply uncomfortable and cold. But it wasn't just the weather, this coldness came over everyone. I didn't really mind so much. People were a little more quiet and reserved this time of year, which was just fine with me. No one really felt like associating much, and I was left alone like I wanted.
This was the time of year that people kept their heads down and kept to themselves. I could float through the world and be ignored on my own terms. Not ignored consciously as a result of gossip and pity, but unacknowledged and unencumbered by those around me. Winter was the time where people were too tired to care about what others thought.
I know it sounds lonely, but I would have described it as cathartic. If I wasn't ever on anyone's mind, I wouldn't have to worry about what they thought of me. Not that my snow white coat didn't help me fade into the white shade as well. My favorite season was spring due to the blossoming of flowers, but the isolated serenity of winter was a silver lining in the otherwise dull season. Ahead of me was the glass panel building, the small greenhouse.
I tugged at my sleeve with my finger. My little sweater would be nothing but a detriment inside the steamy humid room and I couldn't wait to get out of it. As I walked, my ear twitched. I heard a small creak from nearby me in the garden. I stood deathly still and waited in grim anticipation. My long ears were scanning the compound to try and pick up any stray noises. I heard a sound that resembled a sighing exhale. I looked around, I wasn't alone here. Stepping over the frozen ground, I snuck around so as to not give up my position.
"Am I being paranoid?" I thought to myself.
Taking another step, I heard the sighing sound once again. Perhaps against my better judgement, I opened my mouth and spoke.
"Hello, who's there?" I quietly asked. Facing the front of the greenhouse, I could faintly see something moving against the side, heavily obscured by two layers of glass. I quietly exhaled and rounded the corner, my movements slow and deliberate. The side of the greenhouse house came into view. Reclining against the glass was the reddish brown wolf girl.
A primordial reflex wanted me to turn and run but I think I kept it from showing. Perhaps due to some cosmic irony, I found myself talking to Juno more often. Though I never would have thought given our previous history, I was relieved it was only her that was in the garden.
"Juno?" I called out. She had her arms wrapped around her knees and her head low. She had a small sweater on and some leggings. Even with her fur, I doubted she was all that comfortable on the cold ground.
"What are you doing girly?" I asked as I stood above her. My gut felt like there was now a stone inside of it. The last time Juno was here, she seemed hopeful as she left. Did she take my advice and try to sleep with the mongoose guy from the drama club? Perhaps that was a bad idea to put that in her head. She looked up at me, in her crouched position her eyes met mine evenly.
She wasn't crying, I guess that was a good sign. The wolf looked at me with a depressed stare.
"Hey Haru…" she mumbled. My ear twitched again. Part of me wished I didn't have to dig with this much effort and she would just tell me what was wrong.
"How are you doing, you okay?" I asked while trying to keep my pleasant demeanor.
"What do you think?" She huffed back at me. I rolled my eyes and took a step back. Juno's face quickly loosened and she seemed instantly remorseful of what she had said.
"Wait...wait I'm sorry." She reached out a hand slightly. My disapproving glare softened as well.
I exhaled. I wasn't exactly known for not being standoffish.
"I guess I probably wouldn't have apologized either." I thought to myself.
"It's alright, maybe we can circle back to that. Can I ask why you're in the garden?" I asked. She looked at me and rubbed her eyes with her palm.
"I guess I just wanted to be alone, and you're the only one that hangs out in the garden." She said.
"True, but there are lots of places to be alone, and that's only a very minor reason I'm here." My mind fluttered back to the greenhouse. "The main reason anyone visits here is to talk to me about getting flowers and produce or...something else." I blushed. "You wouldn't happen to be here for that would you?" I asked. Juno twitched and blushed as well.
"Oh...what no!" She blurted. I chuckled.
"Relax pup, it was a joke. All I'm saying is that if you didn't come to the garden to get anything, would you mind helping out. It's not often I get any tall animals with nothing to do in here." I smiled and extended my hand. Juno sighed and shivered. I felt the slight warmth emanating from the glass pane.
"Come on Juno, it's a lot warmer in there than it is out here. Cold weather just fuels cold demeanors."
She sighed and stood up beside me.
"Okay…" she said as I pulled her along to the front.
POV Juno
The white dwarf rabbit directed my movements over the cold ground. As we arrived at the front of the green house, the rabbit produced a small key ring from her side. She fiddled with several pieces of clinking metal until she found the one for the door. Haru unlocked the door knob lock and the deadbolt.
"Seems excessive, if someone really wanted to break into a glass building, I don't think a locked door could stop them." I said trying to soften my mood.
"True but most people aren't gonna damage school property just to have a place to fuck." Haru said, returning the key ring to her side.
I gasped. "Oh...yeah?" I said dumbfounded.
The rabbit nodded. "Yep, every month or so, I'll find someone trying to do a little romantic rendezvous using my garden as the location." She giggled again.
I smirked. "Because the garden is so sacrosanct." Haru smirked as well.
"You know it's a privilege, not a right. Everyone wants to get steamy in the greenhouse but no one ever wants to pull weeds or gather the compost. Speaking of which…" Haru opened the door. A little hot backdraft of warm air rushed past me. The air carried with it a weird blend of sweetness and decay. I followed the small bunny inside and shut the door behind me.
I stood in the steamy bright room, around me were damp patches of dirt and variously sized clay pots. Many contained a plethora of vegetation in stages of health. The scent of plant life was powerful and it was difficult to think of anything else. My glance returned to Haru. She pulled her sweater over her head and long ears, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. She hung it on a little hanger and turned to me.
"You're gonna wanna ditch that sweater." She smiled and walked past me. Without a word, I did the same and placed my jacket alongside hers. I followed her as she moved towards the back of the greenhouse.
"So what did you have in mind?" I asked. She stopped and pointed upwards. Above her on a long pole that ran the length of the house were a series of hanging baskets. Each held a crimson red flower, many were wilting and shriveled.
"Poinsettias?" I asked.
"Yup." Haru replied to me. "Rexmas Red poinsettias." I groaned, I didn't want to think about the Rexmas I just had.
Haru continued. "We grew a bunch for the holiday rush but we didn't sell all of them. Now that Rexmas is behind us we gotta get rid of these old baskets. That's where you come in, can you reach up and get them off that rod?"
I reached up and unhooked the basket above me. I carried it to the ground in front of the rabbit.
"Thanks." She said as she carried the basket to a blue tarp. Haru leaned in and sniffed the red flower. Even from a few feet away I could smell the flower as it withered. A sweet smell mixed with sour tones as it died. Haru placed the basket down and pulled the plant free of the dirt. She ripped the petals from the stems and tossed them on the tarp. She upturned the basket and soil cascaded from inside.
"What are you doing?" I asked curiously. She looked over her shoulder and spoke.
"Oh I'm recycling the plants and soil." She said, slightly confused by my question.
"Oh okay, I guess I didn't expect you to just tear up that flower." I said. Haru giggled a little.
"Haha, well I don't relish in just destroying them. Even if it can be a little therapeutic to crush something." She patted her hands together to get some of the excess dirt off, her little fingers turning dark from the soil. She picked a little apron from a table and put it on. I reached up and brought down another poinsettia basket. Haru began the process again. Ripping the flower apart and tossing its remains into the dirt pile.
"We'll take these dead flowers and compost them so this soil will be full of nutrients. After that we can use it in the spring for the new flowers and produce. We can take their deaths and turn them into something essential for life." She smiled and continued to tear up the flowers. I nodded and got another basket.
"So are we gonna talk about you?" The rabbit asked.
"What?" I replied with another basket in my hands.
"Well you weren't hanging out alone in the garden just because you wanted to help me with the compost." Haru smirked. "So what happened since the last time I saw you?"
I felt icky, I suppose maybe I was subconsciously trying to force this conversation. I knew that by coming to the garden, I would likely see Haru. There wasn't really a reason for dancing around the point.
"I guess I just feel empty, kinda dirty if I'm being honest." I blushed and sighed.
"Oh hehe, I'm guessing that the guy from the drama club wasn't quite what you were expecting." Haru quietly chuckled. I frowned and looked at the bunny. In a weird way, I appreciated how blunt Haru could be. Anyone else that I might have had this conversation with would have taken four times as long to broach this topic.
"I don't know, it felt so transactional." I sighed and brought another basket down. I walked over to Haru and I began to tear at the flower. Flecks of plant matter and dirt landed on my white t-shirt as I tore. Haru looked up at me.
"I don't have another apron, sorry about that." She called out to me. I heard the snap of the stems in my hands and exhaled. There was something nice about breaking down the plant in my hands. I didn't mind the mess too much.
"I mean at its core, hooking up is somewhat transactional." The rabbit said. "You're giving up your body for pleasure, validation, a distraction." I stopped and thought. She did have a point about hooking up but I didn't get any of those things from being with Kai. In retrospect, having sex with him had been a mistake.
"I guess it just seemed like he was more excited that he was was having sex with a perfect version of me. He was fucking the lead dancer and actress of drama club. Kai is fucking the popular girl. Like he didn't even know I was there, just my body." I said as a hole formed in my stomach. Haru listened and nodded. She resumed breaking down the stems.
"You know I think that's one reason guys enjoy sleeping with me. Sometimes it seems like I'm not there, they don't have to be concerned with me." Haru said.
I frowned. "Doesn't that hurt?" I asked.
She chuckled. "For me it's the opposite. In the real world everyone pities me as a small animal. Everyone babies me and is concerned for me. But when I'm in bed with another, I'm treated as self reliant. Others don't feel bad for me." She emptied the basket and stacked it on the others.
"Is that why you have sex?" I asked
"Well one reason, I generally find it pleasurable and there's a rush from fucking in a somewhat risky situation." I blushed and thought back to the steamy meetups that I shared with Legoshi in the showers. Being forced to the ground and enraptured in carnal bliss.
"Yeah…" I muttered.
"Maybe I enjoy the moment of instant gratification as well." She said.
"Oh?" I replied.
"Compared to the garden, I put so much less work into having sex and hooking up. Yet I'm kinda removed from the products of the garden. People come in and pick up flowers and my vegetables are served in the cafeteria nearly daily, but no one really thinks of me when they think of the garden. They don't know the process of all the work I do here. In fact if you weren't here I would have had to climb up a little ladder and remove all the old baskets myself."
I looked along the pole and saw twenty or so baskets remaining. This little rabbit was really prepared to do all the work.
"Not that I'm the type that is vying for attention and recognition, but when I have sex with someone, their pleasure, their climax is all from me and they know it." Haru smiled and turned to me. "Can you get another basket?"
I snapped up and brought down two more. We shredded the leaves.
"It's kinda like the difference between the art department and the actors team." I said slowly.
"Huh that's actually a pretty apt analogy." Haru giggled. "There's a lot of work that goes into a production but the actors are the face of it. No one notices the art department unless they fuck up I'm guessing." Haru snickered.
"Yeah…I guess so." I snapped a stem with my claws.
The rabbit looked at me with a little forlorn expression. "Either way, sorry your mongoose wasn't that fun. I feel a little responsible. I put the idea in your head." She tossed a dirt clod on the tarp.
"Well I was the one that went through with it. I should have known well enough what Kai's intentions and view of me were." I sighed.
"That being?" She replied.
I giggled. "Well he is quite the simp and nice guy for yours truly."
Haru laughed and rolled her eyes. "Yeesh, here's my thoughts and prayers girly. Nothing worse than a guy who thinks they know so much about everything. They think that they can just zip in and save you from your life."
"Yup, mistakes were made." I said returning to the hanging plants. The fur on my hands, now covered in red and brown. "I'm guessing that you've had a guy or two like that."
"Yup, that's actually how I once viewed Legoshi." She said softly. I grimaced, the fresh wounds still stung but I was curious about her perspective."
"Yeah, I'm guessing you know my thoughts on him. Where do you stand? I won't get mad, I'm just curious." I said.
Haru walked over to get a carrot juice from a box. She opened it and took a sip.
"To be honest, I've never been so confused by someone before. Like I said I did once think of Legoshi as a typical nice guy that fell for me. I humored him and thought that I'd just eventually give him the slip. But over time. I don't know, I guess my mind opened up to him. Then he saved my life. I think every nice guy that envisions themselves as a hero is never forced to be one. I was completely prepared to accept my death but I didn't want to die. I don't know if I would have felt that if that wolf wasn't a part of my life before that."
Haru spoke before taking another swig of the juice. I said nothing, just listened.
"Of course now." She looked at me. "I'm a little more confused. After the meteor shower, we talked a lot about what the future held for us. I think I was cautiously optimistic about that but perhaps I was diluting myself."
I watched her take another sip. "I got really jealous when I watched him all over you at the Halloween party. Even though you were just dancing and being flirty, I got so mad I was prepared to just fuck someone at that party."
"Did you?" I asked.
The rabbit sighed. "No I didn't, I was angry but I really felt like I overreacted. I've only been jealous that someone had the attention of a boy I liked once before. No one else has made me feel that protective. But on the other hand, my rush to sleep with someone else made me question if I was just looking for an opportunity to break things off. I guess mad amounts of jealousy and insecurity aren't the cornerstone of a good relationship."
I frowned. "I'm sorry that you got caught up in that. I would say that night, he wasn't really in his right mind." I felt anger at myself. Was I really explaining away, Legoshi cheating?
"I know that now but perhaps it was just an inevitability where things just wouldn't work out." She looked at me and looked curious.
"You okay talking about this?" She asked.
I was a little caught off guard by her question. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be." I said, likely not that convincingly.
"Do you hate him?" She asked.
I didn't know how to answer that. "I feel like I should. No one else has ever hurt me like he has. And he's such an asshole! He is a coward and couldn't even be honest with how he felt. And he never cared as much as he led on!" I shouted as anger came over me. Haru looked bewildered as she looked at me. I looked down and I had unwittingly massacred a wilted poinsettia and its gooey remains stained my fur.
"Sorry...I got worked up. I hate that he fucked that dumb fox bitch. I mean she literally just enters his life because of his work and suddenly they have all this chemistry. Like fucking seriously, and then he says that it's because I didnt care enough about his problems and what he has to go through. Like we all have problems and that's why we are supposed to fucking talk about things which is something he'd never do!" I was seething as my stream of consciousness went off.
I squeezed harder on the red tatters which now resembled a pulp.
"You're such a terrible girl!" My guilty conscience told me.
"Legoshi's in the hospital and you're in here bitching about your ruined little holiday plans. You're a dumb bitch! At least that fox can protect him, whereas you didn't even know he was involved in such a dangerous business."
I gripped the fluffy fur near my ears and seethed. I just wanted to make my mind stop.
The bunny rubbed my back. "You okay?" She asked.
I unclenched my fist and tears slid down my face. "No... I'm just...so mad and angry!" I yelled. The bunny just softly smiled and rubbed my back more.
"And I feel so guilty. I wanna be mad at Legoshi so bad. But I feel guilty about it, he was nearly killed and how can I still resent him?"
I sat down and held the draft rabbit's hand while I cried. "When I heard that he was in a shootout and saw that he was alive, I cried my eyes out! I was so happy he wasn't dead. But despite that, I never felt this anger go away. The betrayal is like an asterisk on his name and I can't see him without seeing her. I thought I was past it but I can't make the anger go away!" I cried more.
"That's okay Juno, it's okay to be angry."she said calmly.
"I wanna get these thoughts out of my head. I wanna tell someone but who would wanna listen to me? Especially now after everything that has happened to him. He did something so heroic and brave and I'm here being petty and…"
Haru shushed me. "That doesn't mean your feelings and experiences aren't important. I think the fact that you're so conflicted about your own guilt for being mad at him says a lot about how not petty you are." She said. I said nothing but continued to hold her hand nonetheless.
"And just for the record, I'll listen to your thoughts. You can say whatever you need to say and I won't judge you or think less of you." She gestured to the baskets on the pole. "Just let it out, tear up these dead flowers and I'll listen to everything." I looked down at the calm white rabbit.
"Really?" I asked, wiping a lingering tear away. "You wanna do that?"
"Sure." She said. "That's one of the best parts of manual labor, you can work out all your frustrations!" Haru shouted as she kicked an empty plastic basket across the floor.
A little chuckle escaped my mouth as she did so. "Well okay…" I brought down a few more baskets. Going over to the pile with the wilted plant in my hands, I tore a chunk of crimson petals from the plant.
"Fuck you Legoshi!" I yelled as I did so. Haru smiled and tore at her own plant.
"You ruined my fucking Rexmas and my god damn new year!" I was louder than I intended to be. The only other sound in the room was the ripping of stems and clatter of dirt on the ground.
"Get it hon!" Haru shouted encouragingly.
"You lead me on for months! Why?! Just so you could get your dick wet! You hardly even told me you loved me!" I pulled the roots from the soil and eviscerated them in my hands. My teeth gritted and I felt something rising from deep inside me. My vision blurred. I tore deeper into another fleshy plant.
POV Haru
The sight before was a genuine spectacle. I watched as the she wolf destroyed the wilting flowers. She vented her anger in that moment and wasn't afraid to show it. Her claws jabbed into the soil, ripping roots and sending flecks of dirt airborne.
"I nearly died because of you Legoshi! I got poisoned and wound up in the fucking hospital. I'm pretty sure you cared more about getting to that stupid fuck Bill's room before your own girlfriend!" She emptied the basket and chucked it careless near the others. Another plant entered her deadly grasp. As she expressed her fury, I couldn't help but be enthralled by it.
"Kill it Juno!" I giggled while I carefully broke the leaves and stems of my own plant. In her purple eyes, I saw the passionate rage. The rage of some primeval animal being let loose in the modern age. My ears twitched and my legs braced. My instincts were preparing me to escape yet I couldn't turn away. In her face I could see her fangs and pointed ears. The hair on the back of her neck standing on end as she mangled the flower.
In a strange sense, I couldn't help but admire her as she let her rage out. Similar to Legoshi's fight with the shishigumi, she became a beast in that moment. Raw, unfiltered aggression burst forth from her body. To see her in that state. A beautiful savagery that defied social convention and exposed the living being at her core. Juno was breaking free and my body didn't know what to do. My subconscious demanded that I run and protect myself but I just stared. Her movements, her scents were so pure. I found myself getting a little flustered to be completely honest.
She was breaking them down with an incredible efficiency. Her efforts alone got half of the job done. I stopped and went to my little box of carrot juices and got one. I approached the livid wolf and extended the juice box out to her. Juno turned with gritting teeth that softened as she looked at me. She took the box and snapped the cap off. She began to down it, the sweet tan juice sliding down her throat. When the drink came down, it was completely empty. She set it down and wiped her mouth with her soil covered arm.
She exhaled then shut her mouth quickly. Her lip jutted forwards and a small belch escaped her mouth. She blushed and I could help but giggle.
"Sorry…" she said with obvious embarrassment.
"Eh don't worry about it, it's just you and me. Plus you're working really hard." I smiled at the wolf. Her face turned to one as well.
"Haha I don't really even like carrot juice." She said.
"Blasphemy!" I shouted. We both started to giggle. "We're about half way done with the job, anyone else you're pissed at and wanna scream at?"
Juno walked over and pulled a basket down from the pole. She held it in her hands and looked at the scarlet leaves. Her teeth began to show and the fire returned to her gemstone eyes. I saw her pulling in a deep breath.
"I hate that fucking dumb fox bitch!" She screamed and shredded the plant.
POV Juno
My mind was a mess as I demolished through the plants. Every little slight that was bothering me found itself personified within the withered red stalks of the poinsettias.
"Fuck his friends, everyone knows he's a cheating bastard and they don't even care! They just don't wanna lose their fuck spot!" I yelled. It was conflicting, I really didn't hate them but here I was screaming at them. The fire in me burned so brightly and it consumed everything in its path. Haru looked at me smiling as she handed me another plant. I took it and turned it over above the blue tarp. I watched the dirt and plant fall out and splatter on the plastic sheet. I glared down at the muck and began stomping down on it with viciousness and hurt.
"And I'm so fucking pissed off at drama club! They know that he doesn't give a fuck about our performances cause that means the world can't revolve around him!" I bashed the red flower with my heel, shouting as I did.
"He! Walks! All! Over! Everyone!" I stopped and looked at the pile of mush and muck on my shoes. Still seething I looked at Haru who had a little coy smirk on her face. I almost would have called it flirtatious.
I returned to my stomping. "And then he waltzes back and all of a sudden no one cares about any of the shit he pulled! He completely fucked the premiere with all that gang drama and made the play a total joke. Kai actually gave a shit about the performance and we would have been just fine if Kai would have been the lead! Also fuck that stupid simpering mongoose! Kai! Did it make you feel cool?! Are you happy you get to go around and brag about how you fucked the hot wolf from the drama club?!"
I couldn't stop myself, so much blind anger was working its way out of my body. My ravenous assault on the leftover poinsettias was nearly complete as there were only two or three plants left. Below me was a pile of refuse. Clods of dirt and plant viscera scattered the floor beneath me. Beside that was a graveyard of hollow baskets, cast with abandonment. Haru handed me another plant. My anger was subsiding, and sorrow was taking up some of that space.
"I just...wanna be happy like I was a few months ago!" I snapped the stem and ripped the flower and the scent rot and sugar flooded my noise. Before the holidays, everything seemed to be just fine. I was happy, I was surrounded by great friends and I was with the guy of my dreams. The world seemed to be at peace and I couldn't ask for anything else.
Now I couldn't tell if that world even existed. How much of those days were genuine, I couldn't honestly say. There was a movement behind me. I turned and the bunny was at my side, holding another basket.
"Just one more basket, you're doing so much to help!" She smiled up at me. Her face was cute and I couldn't help but admire her tiny brown eyes. The small white rabbit had given me more comfort in this hour than anyone else had given me all week. She didn't judge me for my outburst and let me vent my frustrations. I would have to tell her just how much I appreciated her.
I looked at the last plant and pulled off a sagging red leaf. "Jack and Anita, I love you guys. I really enjoy your company but… I don't know how you can be friends with both of us and act like nothing happened."
A tear rolled down my face. I turned my head so Haru didn't see. A moment later. The flower was in tatters upon the pile of dirt. I rubbed my hands to get some of the dirt off. My fur was matted from the plant juices and soil.
"Oh my god Juno! That was amazing!" Haru said cheerfully. I felt something against my side which made me look down. Haru rubbed her head against my arm and gave it a little squeeze.
"Did Haru just hug me?" I thought to myself.
"You're a hell of a worker!" She said as she admired the pile of compost that stood upon the tarp. "Saved me like two hours of hard tedious work. I refocused and looked at her with a small smile.
"No problem, I'm glad I could be useful." I said. I looked down at myself as I started to relax. My once white shirt was covered in dirt and muck.
"Ugh!" I said which made Haru giggle.
"Haha oh Juno, you are absolutely filthy!" She joked. She wasn't kidding, my shirt was stained with bright red juices and dark soil smears. As were my leggings although not looking quite so dirty due to their dark fabric.
I sighed. "I'm a mess… in every sense of the word." I looked down. The small draft rabbit took my messy hand and she smiled up at me.
"You might be a mess but you're far from hopeless." Haru gleamed at me, I couldn't help but smile at the small soft rabbit. She looked up at me. "I actually have a wash bucket here in the garden. If you wanna leave your shirt here, I'll clean it up and get it back to you." Haru said.
I blushed. "Was she asking for my shirt?"
I thought. "Wait why is my mind going there?" I shook the idea from my mind.
"Oh well that's really nice but what would I wear?" I said. Haru gestured over to the hook where our sweaters were hanging. "Oh right." I smiled and I walked over to it. I gripped the bottom of my stained shirt. I couldn't wait to get out of this disgusting thing. I started to lift and I abruptly stopped.
My face turned red. "Was she looking at me…" I wanted to turn around.
"Wait, why did I care? I showered naked in front of other girls in the gym and drama club with no problem." I thought to myself.
I slowly looked back over my shoulder and I saw the rabbit blushing as well. "Oh god, why is she nervous?!" I screamed internally.
"Oh…Uh want me to leave you alone?" Haru said anxiously. I blushed and spoke.
"It's no problem…" I said like an idiot. She turned around.
"Uh I'll just look away. I'm gonna stack those baskets." She giggled nervously. I blushed and slowly raised my stained tee over my head and grasped my sweater. I slipped it over my head and I smiled as I was in a fresh top. In a corner of the house was a little metal utility sink. I walked over and started to wash my hands of the dirt and flower grime. I watched in fascination as the stream of brown and red swirled into the vortex of the drain. I looked over and saw the little white rabbit strolling over to me.
Just seeing her made my fluffy ear twitch. Not in anger as it once did but something else. I couldn't place my mind on exactly what it was. She placed the plastic apron on the hook and walked to my side.
"All clean dude?" She asked looking up at me. She was so small.
"Yeah." I said as I moved out of the way. Haru moved a small metal water pail and stood on the bottom of it. She washed her hands of the dirt.
"Haru?" I said.
"Yeah." The bunny said as she scrubbed. Not looking at me.
"Do you hate Legoshi?" I asked. She said nothing at first.
"Not at all, I pity him if anything." She said nonchalantly. I was puzzled, I felt a vague betrayal within me that I couldn't explain. I tried to not let it bother me.
"I know you have strong feelings against him but I still see a lot of myself in that wolf. He is really struggling with the life that he's been thrusted into. I'm not trying to minimize what he did to you. He's definitely responsible for the mistakes he's made and the lies he's told. I would never let him hold it over my head but he did save my life." She looked down and painfully laughed. "I don't know if anyone's ever cared enough to put themselves in harm's way for me."
I frowned as I looked at the solemn rabbit. As I put myself in her shoes. I regret my feeling of betrayal, how could I expect her to take my side on this issue. She looked at me with a little smile.
"I bet that sweater is no fun, let's get out of this steam trap." Haru said. She held my shirt and made her way towards the door. I exhaled with guilt and followed her outside.
POV Haru
I pushed the greenhouse door open and a warm gust flowed past me from behind. My face was met with a cold crisp air that was a lovely change from the humidity of the nursery. The sky was an ugly dark grey and coming down was a white sleeting precipitation closer to rain than snow. The ground was wet and formed slush puddles in the garden dirt. I grimaced as I viewed the icy mud all around me. I only wore my tennis shoes. One bad step and my entire foot could be drenched in the mucky water.
"Oh damn, I guess it got a lot worse outside since we went in." Juno said from behind me.
"Yeah I guess watch your step." I said with a chuckle as I planned my course. Juno looked over at me and the various puddles.
"Well I could carry you back to the shed certainly." She turned red and I was showing my own shade of crimson as well.
"Why was I so nervous for her to touch me? Was it because I just saw her use her claws to eviscerate all those plants?"
I think it would have been easy to pin this feeling on that but it wouldn't bring me the closure that the truth provides.
The cold wetness from the sky made the wait all the more uncomfortable. "Dammit!" I said under my breath.
The warm dry air of the shed was becoming more and more desirable as I stood. I looked down at Juno's feet and saw the minimalist winter boots that she wore. She could easily move through the slush better than I could.
I took a deep breath and smiled lightly.
"Could you carry me?"
She looked down at me and returned the same small smile.
"Okay...Uh how do you wanna do this." She replied nervously. As uncertain as I was, seeing Juno's equal concern made me giggle slightly.
"I guess however you want just not by my neck or ears." I giggled. She smiled and knelt down. She scooped me up in the crook of her arm and brought me close to her body. I awaited the uncomfortable squeeze but it never came. She took extra care to cradle me with her arm and her soft chest.
"Mmrr." I quietly groaned. Her arm nuzzled me above my back as her fingers rested below my bra. I felt my side rubbing her soft furred chest and her bra just beneath her sweater. The wolf generated a lovely warmth in contrast to the miserable weather. I held her arm tightly as she took her first steps into the dirt of the garden. The ground gave a wet squish as her boot landed. I bounced a little with every step she took. Aside from the little grunts we gave as moved, we were deathly quiet. Subconsciously I'm sure we weren't trying to draw attention to the situation we found ourselves in.
The wolf carried me like a groom would his bride over the threshold. Each mucky step got us closer and closer to the shed door. I looked up and saw the wolf's muzzle looming over me.
I tried not to let my mind wander too much but I was trying to reconcile exactly what I was feeling. I couldn't place what had changed between this wolf and I. Yet the longer we spent together this evening, my eyes opened more and more. I was learning more about this wolf, I found myself sympathizing with her struggles. As I watched her express her frustrations in brutal honesty, I saw her in her most vulnerable state. She had been unjustly hurt and was far from recovered.
It was so different to see someone open up to me like this. In the past, those that would come to see me wore an emotional mask. Whether they seemed ashamed or embarrassed, they expressed themselves in the most detached way possible. Not that I really cared, I think I was just as not invested in their emotions. With Juno however, I was trying to pass through her mask. Furthermore, I could see that she was trying to let me in which oddly made me happy.
Beneath her alpha personality was a very insecure woman. An identity that I used to associate with Louis and his internal struggle. The delicate trust was being built and brought a tender warmth from her. I wanted to talk to her more, help her out in any way I could. I didn't want to send her off alone now. I didn't think that she was done laying bare her emotions. But more selfishly, I didn't want to be alone right now.
I could feel her heart beating as she walked. We made it to the sliding glass door. She set me down and lumbered over me. I looked up and saw the wolf using her body to cover me from the rain. My ears brushed her chest as she bent down. I took my key ring and unlocked the door. I quickly pulled it open and rushed inside. I turned around and looked as the wolf girl stood in the rain.
"Juno come on in!" I yelled as I brushed my wet ears. She looked at me nervously.
"Are you positive, I'm sure I've intruded enough." She said as she got further wet from rain. I blushed, maybe she was carrying some bizarre feelings about this night as well. I didn't want to push but I didn't want her to leave.
"Juno don't be silly, it's pouring out there." I said with a friendly smile. She remained looking conflicted. I frowned. "Come on dude, I have a little tea kettle and...I'm actually having a lot of fun with you here."
She perked up, perhaps from the drink offer but I suspected the latter.
"Oh… well okay." A smile grew on her face. She passed through the door frame and closed the sliding glass behind her. The wolf was dripping with water as she stood in front of me.
She began to rapidly shake her body, casting specks of water all over the room. I giggled as a few of the castaway droplets hit me. Juno stopped her, damp fur now slightly fluffy.
"Oh geez!" She said. "Sorry Haru, that's just a force of habit." I giggled and whisked a few drops off my body.
"No problem at all I'd hate for you to be just standing there all wet." She giggled awkwardly.
"Why the fuck did I say that?!" My inner dialogue screamed at me.
Turning away quickly, I moved over to the little electric space heater that I kept in the shed. I brought it over to the floor by bed and turned it on. My glance returned to the wolf. She stood still and looked rather nervous as she watched me.
"You can have a seat on the bed, I'll get the tea." I said as I gestured to the small bed in the corner.
"Oh well I don't mean to be a prude but…" Juno said with a tinge of embarrassment. My skin crawled as I realized what she was implying.
"Oh my god, yes I wash the sheets super super regularly and I haven't done anything since I washed them last!" I blurted out. I was only making things more awkward. Juno let out a little giggle.
"It's okay Haru, I've slept on messier beds before. Whoever cleans Legoshi's flat isn't nearly paid enough for what I'm sure they have to deal with."
I giggled as I found the little electric kettle that I kept in the shed. I walked over to the tiny bathroom and filled the kettle from the sink.
"Sometimes this shed is a lot more comfortable than staying in my own dorm room, I don't have to deal with the death glares and cold shoulders of my roommates. I'll probs just end up just staying the night here." I said.
There were more questions I had for the wolf. I wanted to see how much more of her mask I could get her to drop. I realized the more I was able to remove, the more my own guard fell. It was a feeling of mutual trust that I hadn't felt in some time. Honestly, it felt nice to trust and be vulnerable.
I started boiling the water and looked back at Juno as she sat. "I have just green with honey, that alright with you?" I asked.
"Ooh that sounds really nice, I can't get warmed up fast enough." She said with a smile. Her excitement caused her to wag her tail and wiggle her bum on the bed.
"Geez, she really was adorable. It's no wonder she's so popular." I thought as I walked over to the bed. I hopped up and sat next to her, the little heater warming up.
"Juno…about earlier?" I said slowly. She looked over and nervously replied.
"Yeah Haru?"
"Do you hate me? I mean did you ever?" I asked curiously. The wolf recoiled as though I scared her.
"I mean last year… things were really different." She looked down with regret. "I didn't like you, cause I saw you as my competitor for Legoshi. I don't know if I hated you but I guess I hated how you made me feel. The thought of you sleeping with him and stealing his heart made me super insecure about myself. Like I was getting out beaten by a rabbit…no offense."
I rolled my eyes, I understood what she meant but it still wasn't tactful.
"I didn't mean it like rabbits are beneath me but that in this specific instance like I'm not much of a good wolf if I can't make other wolves like me." She said defensively.
"It's okay Juno, I know what you mean." I said
She smiled and leaned against my side. I looked up at the now smiling wolf.
"But now it's so much better. I mean I think you're cool and you make me feel different about myself. I'm really so thankful that you let me vent and just gave me something to get my mind off the stupid shit of the last few weeks."
Her fur was so soft and warm, relaxing just to touch. I smiled back at her. "Well you're welcome, I'm glad I could help." I gleamed. She laid back and rested on the bed. She sighed in comfort and smirked at me.
"Okay Haru, did you ever hate me?" She asked with a little bit of humor in her tone. I started to giggle.
"Well...no I never hated you. More like I thought you were fucking annoying but other than that I didn't hate you. There's so many other mean bitches on my shit list before your name even comes up." I grinned with pride. We both cracked up laughing and I too laid back beside her.
"But I'd say that all of that is behind us now." I smiled at the wolf. A whistling noise shot through the room as my attention was directed back to the tea kettle. I grunted and sat up and bounded onto the floor. My soft pads glided over the hardwood floor as I returned to the kettle.
"So did you have a good Rexmas break?" I asked as I poured the hot water into the first mug. Juno leaned up and pouted.
"Well it was actually kinda shitty, in light of recent events. I guess I wasn't planning on my relationship ending a mere two weeks from the holiday so I had to adjust for that." She said with remorse. I sighed, I actually felt bad about making her bring up these painful memories.
"Plus Kai has been messaging me quite a bit, so that's made things a little more awkward and complicated." She said with a frown.
I clenched my fist unintentionally. "Is he being creepy or gross?" I asked with slight fury. I eased back.
"Why did I just get so angry?" I thought to myself.
"No, it's not aggressive or anything. Just kinda innocuous stuff like texting me good morning and good night. Like just trying to get my attention. I wouldn't mind but I just feel like he's trying to parlay that into talking about us sleeping together." She was obviously frustrated. Her ears lowered sadly. "Like it was a mistake and I wish he could just enjoy that it happened and not make a big deal about it. I guess that's what I get for indulging him."
I nodded. "I used to have a similar situation with… you know Sebastian?" I asked.
"That's the fox that Anita used to date right?" She replied.
"Yeah so after she broke up with him and after he got beat up, he sorta clung to my side and wouldn't let go. He texted me a ton and always wanted to sleep here with me." I said recalling the fox's prior behavior.
"So what happened with that? Weren't you guys dating?" She asked back.
"No, I kinda just told him that I understood that he was scared but that he was coming on too strong. I know he really wanted to date me but I was firm and set my boundaries. I knew that rushing into a one-sided relationship wasn't going to make either of us happy in the long run. Now we're just friends with benefits and honestly I really like the relationship we have."
She looked at me confusingly. "But you guys still have sex and stuff." I giggled and spoke.
"Yeah, but you know it's funny. After we established that we were friends with benefits. We actually had sex less. Like we do other things than just have sex. We just talk for fun, watch movies or we get dinner but it's not like a date, just as friends." I said smiling.
"Huh really, I talked to Anita about him when they were dating. Apparently he used to be kind of an asshole and egomaniac."
"Yeah he totally was, I think after he got his ass kicked by that tiger from the drama club..."
"Bill." Juno said.
"Oh right, that's his name." I said. I suddenly remembered that the very same tiger had shared the bed with me a few months ago. I blushed slightly.
"Anyway, I think getting messed up by Bill kinda brought him down a peg and made him more humble. As bad as that sounds." I said with a giggle.
"Yeah, Kai has a big ego too. Like not that he's super strong but that he's like this evil genius playing four dimensional chess and outsmarting everyone. It's kinda really annoying." She put her hand to her forehead. "I can't believe I fucked him."
I smirked. "Well if you want, I might be able to get Bill or some other big animal to beat him up. You'd be amazed what guys will do for these buns." I gave my booty and tail a little wiggle. Juno giggled and I blushed.
"Now you're just flaunting yourself!" I screamed in my head."
"By the way, you don't have to talk about this stuff if you don't want to." I said as I poured the next cup.
"No it's okay, honestly I've wanted to talk about these things for a while but I guess I haven't been able to let my guard down. And talking to you is… really easy." Her frown turned to a weak smile.
My stomach jumped as her words passed into my ears. What was it about wolves that made my mind and heart go weak? I wanted to bring her comfort. I didn't want to see her in pain. There was a beautiful strength in this wolf and I wanted to see it blossom. I knelt down and got a few tea bags from a little dresser drawer. I felt my skirt slightly hike up my legs as I bent down. I quickly sprung back up.
"What's wrong with me!" I thought.
Did I only want to see Juno blossom, did I want something more? Was I actually searching for a lasting friendship? This was a thought that I pondered but friendship didn't seem to adequately convey the feeling. My eyes shot open as I looked away from the wolf.
"It's not an attraction… is it?" I took a slow breath and put the bags in the mug.
That seemed too strong of a word. Was that a thing that existed? Having a strong feeling for someone that's more serious than a friendly admiration yet wasn't full on attraction. I turned around and began to walk over to the bed with the mugs.
"Thanks." Juno said as she took the mug and smiled. I rejoined her on the bed and basked in the warmth. I took a sip of the hot tea.
"Don't mention it." I said. I was quiet as I sat next to her. I heard her breathing slowly and sipping her tea. Her soft and fluffy tail was wagging and I could feel it fluttering next to me. She really was beautiful and anyone could see that for themselves. But what she didn't show everyone was the cracks in her striving personality. I found myself staring at her.
POV Juno
"Oh god she's staring at me! Why is she staring at me?!" I thought as I glanced down at the little rabbit.
My heart beats were increasing in speed. What was happening! Earlier today I felt so terrible with the course of my life. The rabbit was able to turn my mood around. It's been nice to have someone that I can open up to and listen to me. But it felt like my mind had lost the plot.
Her alabaster white coat shined in the dull light of the shack. Her cheeks flushed with a light rosy pink color and her brown eyes sparkled like pools of honey. My stomach felt like it was burning. What was this feeling bubbling up inside of me? A joy that arose in me after weeks of sorrow and pity. I was beginning to feel like my old self and it was all thanks to Haru.
Everyone else that I talked to about my pain just amused me as a means to an end. But with this rabbit, it just felt different. Haru was a fellow traveller on this painful road of life. She knew what it was to be hurt, to be used, to be betrayed. My lips quivered as I thought about this and I brought the mug up to them. I stretched my toes as they rested in front of the little heater and I heard them pop. I was feeling warmer inside and out.
I leaned over ever so slightly. My arm brushed up against hers.
"I really just touched her, it was light but I did make contact. Was it an accident?" I frantically thought.
Was I being as delicate as possible so I could feign ignorance. I stayed like that for a while as I sipped my tea, our arms still touching. Should I say something, anything to break this tension.
"You know I used to dream about having a family with him…" I said to the rabbit. My subconscious said something else.
"Why did you say that, wait no that's good. Get the conversation off this awkward situation."
Haru giggled. "You want kids?" She asked with a smile.
"Someday yeah, I think I'd make a good mom. I used to think that Legoshi'd make a good dad too." I said looking down into her eyes...her beautiful little eyes.
She smiled back up at me. "Haha, maybe it's a little early to be making those judgement calls. Honestly though, I never really saw you and Legoshi working out."
I frowned. "I guess I was too infatuated to really think about it."
"I used to think you had nothing in common, you were just two completely different personalities." Haru said as she sipped her mug. Our arms were still touching after all this time. I blushed as I noticed this, turning darker as I felt no desire to pull away. A question appeared in my head.
"What do you mean you used to think we had nothing in common?" I asked.
"Well, I think before recent events you were a very type A personality. You were kinda like a total striver and kinda bratty. Whereas Legoshi was really unconfident and insecure. I thought those two identities were like fire and ice and would never work out." She said.
"And I'm not like that anymore?" I asked.
"Well you're certainly not only that. I guess seeing you in pain made me release you're not as invincible as you let on. You've been hurt and used...just like me. And you're just as scared and insecure as the rest of us." Haru said.
I was fighting back tears as I understood. For so long, I worked to perform as the perfect wolf. The aspirations for greatness left little room for mistakes. No one ever expected me to fall and so no one ever bothered asking how I felt. My mask worked too well and everyone saw me as the flawless other half of the
wolf power couple.
This white female dwarf rabbit was the first to not only see that I was broken but the first to help me put the pieces back together. My insides felt like they were on fire. A sensation ran over the surface of my skin. I looked deeply into her eyes. A rush of hormones coursed through my head and I felt my neck tingle intensely.
I took a deep inhale through my nose. I could smell her fur, her shampoo, the lingering scents of countless hours in the garden.
"Haru…" I thought to myself. "What am I thinking… you're a girl and also a rabbit."
I had never given too much thought about being with another girl. I wasn't averse to it or anything. I hadn't minded other girls being present in group sex but being exclusively with a girl wasn't something I had ever really considered.
I felt her arm brush up against mine harder as she adjusted herself. I breathed slowly as our soft coats rubbed against each other. Haru stood up from the bed.
"I… need some more tea." She said nervously as she landed on the ground. I groaned as she moved from my side. My mind was fluttering so hard.
"Haru… I've been so alone the past few weeks. I've been lost at sea and you found me. I don't wanna be hurt. Please keep me warm." I said to myself as a tear slid down my muzzle.
POV Haru
I turned my back to the wolf girl as I returned to the kettle. I hid my flustered face from her while I walked. She was looking at me so intensely. What was happening, if I didn't know any better I'd say she was looking at me pretty damn longingly. I wanted to loudly sigh but she would certainly hear me.
I poured more water into the kettle.
"Okay Haru." I thought to myself. "You need to think long and hard about this and be delicate!"
My inner dialogue was right. The bizarre mix of desires and emotions running rampant had to be controlled.
The last thing I wanted to do was injure this wolf anymore than she already had been. Her and I had been dealt a lot of the same bad hands in recent months. I thought about how I dealt with my problems. I rushed into bed with a bunch of random guys. I used them and they used me for meager moments of pleasure and validation.
As much as I could feel the growing allure of the wolf girl, I didn't see any future romantic relationship possibilities between us. It felt strange even pondering the idea. What Juno really needed was a friend right now and she certainly didn't need me playing with her fragile heart.
I smiled under my lip. I couldn't deny how beautiful she was though. Her gorgeous purple eyes that sparkled in the light. The fluffy red fur that was soft as a blanket. As far as wolves went she was the pinnacle of beauty. I put the bag in and steeped the tea. I still never looked back at her on the bed.
I wasn't that open about being bisexual. While I knew that I leaned more towards guys as far as my attraction went, there were times when I couldn't deny my feelings for females. This was something that I only engaged in a handful of times. My status as Cherryton's whore pariah did grant me much positive attention from many girls. Regardless of how I felt about her, the last thing she needed was to carelessly rush into another complicated relationship.
I turned around and nearly dropped my mug. The wolf sat on her knees on the bed. Her arms raised above her, lifting up the dark colored sweater over her head. As she lifted it higher, more of her concealed body was revealed. The light cream color of her underbelly accented her reddish brown body. The sweater went higher and so I could see the white lace cups of her bra. The bra held her soft round breast which jiggled slightly. Juno raised the sweater higher and pulled it over her head. Her fluffy adorable ears popped out and I could see face as she stared right at me.
Her face was so red, almost as deeply shaded as the poinsettias she shredded. Our eyes met as she stood up. No words passed through either of our lips. She looked at me nervously and bent slightly as she pulled her pants down below her knees. Wrapped around her hips was a pair of lace white panties that matched the bra she wore.
She bent down lower and stepped out of her pants. Juno's tail shook ever so slowly as she stood before me. She looked away and she clasped her hands just above her crotch. We both stood in silence as I could not find the words. She looked back with a look of sheer horror and regret. Her mouth slowly opened.
"Please say something…anything." Juno said, nearly naked before me. I was as still as a statue while my eyes scoured every inch of her beautiful body. I couldn't see just how red my cheeks were but imagined they were on par with hers. My mind jumped to a memory of a similar situation that I put Legoshi in. How he rushed to cover my body with a blanket. I saw the blanket laying on the bed but I couldn't move my feet. My mouth opened and a few words escaped my mouth.
"Juno… what are you doing." I said as I looked over her.
She looked like she was fighting back tears. I could see that I was failing to control the situation.
"I don't understand… isn't this what you wanted? I could see the way you look at me. And I… I like it, I like it a lot."
She knelt down, propping herself up with one arm and wiping away the newly formed tears with another. She was now on even ground with me. I took a step towards her, I wanted to dry her tears and apologize.
"Juno please don't cry." I said, standing in front of her. She opened her big amethyst eyes and looked right at me.
"I'm so confused, I'm so fucking stupid!" She said as she fought back the next barrage of tears. I moved forward and wrapped my hands around her as much as I could.
"No Juno, you're not stupid! I'm the dumb one. I shouldn't have played with your heart like that." I held her tighter. She wiped another tear and looked at me.
"So you didn't… like me like that?" She asked. I snapped back to my immediate surroundings. My hands were wrapped around her soft undressed body. My fingers rested on the lacy straps of her bra and I had unknowingly fiddled with them slightly. I could have lied about what I felt, that would've made things a lot easier. Yet that's not what came out. Mere inches from her face I spoke.
"I'm not quite sure what I feel but I can't deny that I have some kind of feelings for you."
I closed my eyes and blushed. "And I'm not sure of the extent of what they are but to say that they're not anything would be a lie."
She held me back and pulled me into her body. I felt like I was burning up. The rush of hot blood in my face, the soft warmth of her body and the heat radiating from the space heater flooded me in temperature.
She opened her mouth and whispered. "I can't deny that I feel something either. I've been so alone and I don't wanna go back to the dark and cold."
"Juno…" I opened my mouth to interject but I was cut off by her muzzle.
"Holy shit!" I screamed internally. "She just fucking kissed me!"
My ears twitched and my muscles tightened. Much like my prior encounters with Legoshi, my instinctual responses activated in the presence of the predator's affection. Her kiss was delicate and I could feel the slight wetness of her nose and tear stained muzzle. I raised my hands to defend myself but ended up stroking the soft sides of her fluffy face.
My body felt like it was submerged in a hot bath, the warm liquid coxing my muscles to go limp and recede into the waters. I wasn't sure how long the kiss lasted until she pulled away. In the purple pools of her eyes, I saw joy amidst the pain. She exhaled a warm breath and moved in to kiss me again.
I tried to speak up, I had to protest somehow. My arms gave a minimal pushback against the soft fluffy fur on her cheeks. Her head still moved forward. I turned my head and her lips caressed the soft skin of my neck. My stomach jumped in reflexive terror as the carnivore's mouth was only inches from my jugular.
While my unconscious body tried to cope with the horror of every movement, my higher brain functions could only register two things. How much of a bad idea this was. As well as the absolute pleasure that I was reviving from the wolf girl's soft and delicate kisses. I was amazed that such an apex predator could deliver affection with so much fragility.
I thought of the contrast between her and other males that I had slept with in the past. Their fur, their motions were so coarse. They thrusted with such aggression and kissed so sloppily that half the time, they didn't even feel good. I was pulled in tenderly against her pillowy breasts and I uncontrollably let out a soft sustained moan. I was held in her embrace and she let out a moan as well.
My mind was so many places. The desires that I had in that moment were begging to be satiated. At the same time I knew this was taking advantage of a vulnerable girl. My mind snapped to my dress as I could feel it being lifted. Juno was lifting up my dress over my head. I wasn't helping the situation as I just raised my arms to make things easier. The wolf lifted more and the fabric brushed over my ears as it came off my body. My light pink bra and panties came into view. Juno stopped kissing me and blushed as she looked over my small body.
"Thank you for making me so happy!" Juno said, slightly overjoyed. I frowned as she held me. A new look of concern came over her face. "What's wrong?" She asked.
I held her and finally gathered my words.
"Juno…we can't do this." She looked like she was fighting back tears once again.
"But…don't you want this?! Don't you think I'm beautiful?!" She pleaded. I gritted my teeth.
"Yes…I'm so sorry! I think you're beautiful and you feel so good but I can't take advantage of the situation." I said
"What are you talking about?!" She cried.
"Juno I know that you've been hurt and used. No one has put your feelings first and they've been selfish. I can't allow myself to be another selfish animal that acts out my lust and desires with a broken heart." My hands held her larger arms and I looked deep into her eyes.
"I...I know, I don't think about decisions before I rush into them. But I've been so alone and I feel like I'm screaming and no one can hear me. I'm so broken and I thought you'd understand that cause you're broken too." Juno said.
I gasped. "You think I'm broken?" I asked curiously.
"Aren't you? After being betrayed by Louis and Legoshi. After everyone that's used you. After almost being killed." She said.
My expression turned to a slight anger. "No, I am not broken. I've had some shitty things happen to me but I've gotten past them."
"Well how did you forget them?" She asked.
"I didn't forget them, I acknowledged them and decided that my life was worth more to me than the weight of my tragedies. It wasn't easy, I don't have many close friends to turn to and I certainly wish I did. That would have made things easier but I found my inner strength to pull me through. You're not broken either Juno. You're wounded but wounds can heal. I've been where you are right now, and I tried to deal with my pain in a similar way. Let me tell you, there are plenty of opportunists that see a vulnerable girl and take advantage of her desire for connection and contact. I've had a lot of guys in that bed, but I haven't had a lot of friends. Those that don't only think about me when I'm going down on them."
The she wolf wiped her crying eyes.
"I just don't wanna be alone." I stood up and put a hand under her chin. I raised her up so she was looking at me.
"You're not alone Juno. I know you're not happy with them but you really do have a lot of close friends that care about you. And well I care about you."
"But you don't wanna… be with me?" She said solemnly. I sighed and spoke again.
"As far as that's concerned, I do have some feeling for you and I think you have some feeling for me. But right now I'm not really looking to be in a relationship and I don't think you need to go rushing into one either."
Her face expressed obvious disappointment. "I mean aren't you the girl who rushes into bed with everyone."
She had a point but I wouldn't compare her to any of the guys I hooked up with.
"Yeah I've slept with guys as a way to cope with my pain. I really wish I hadn't made it seem like it was the be all end all solution to a relationship falling apart. Also being in a new relationship isn't going to make all your problems just go away." I said.
The wolf said nothing as she lowered her head. I sighed exhaustively and sat back on the ground. I took her lowered head and sat it in my lap. Juno's eyes had slowly ceased to produce tears. I softly stroked the top of her fluffy head. I could see from behind her that her tail was giving a few small wags.
"Haru why are you being so good to me… I mean after everything?" She murmured from my lap.
I kept petting her soft fur. "Like I said, I've been where you are right now. I was mad after you and Legoshi got together and I was pretty reckless with my actions. I guess I wish I had someone to help me through those times. I wanna help you cause I know what it's like." I said as I scratched the back of her ears.
"Eeep!" She giggled and her foot twitched as I grazed the skin. I stopped for a moment before we both started laughing. Juno then sighed and pulled away from my hold. She stood up and yawned.
"Thanks for everything Haru." She stretched her arms and I heard an audible pop from her back. "I think I should go back to my dorm and go to sleep." She said, walking over to the sliding glass door. Juno parted the curtain and looked outside. The sky was dark but I could see that the rain hadn't really let up. The weather was still generally miserable and the walk back to the campus dorms was about ten or so minutes, possibly longer due to the slushy mud. I saw her ears lower and then I spoke up.
"Juno… would you stay?" I asked slowly. She looked over her shoulder at me.
"Are… you sure? I mean what about all that stuff we just talked about." She replied concerned. I sighed and spoke.
"Well… yeah I'm not looking for a relationship and I don't think having sex is a good idea. That being said, I like you and I enjoy having you close by. I'm not sure what my exact feelings for you are but nonetheless I do have them."
Slowly her look of concern softened to a smile. "I'm not entirely sure what my feelings are for you either. Maybe I'm just blinded by my want for someone to comfort me."
"Hey." I came up behind her and held her hand. "Just cause were not having sex doesn't mean I won't comfort you." I blushed, looking up at her cute face. She smiled and blushed as well.
"I guess I'm just a little new to anything like this. I've never kissed another girl before. What about you, was that your first girl kiss?"
I giggled. "I'm actually bisexual, I've slept with girls before." I turned red and smirked up at the blushing wolf.
"So… how does my kiss compare to others?" She asked with a smirk of her own.
"Oh well, I'm not gonna lie it was pretty damn good." I grinned. "It was pretty hard to stop."
We both started laughing, still wearing nothing but our undergarments. She blushed. "What about Legoshi, was I a better kisser than him."
I smiled and giggled. "We actually never kissed, I guess we never got that far. You were the first wolf I ever kissed. Concerning Legoshi, we mostly just cuddled. Aside from the time he kinda awkwardly groped my boob."
We burst into another laughing fit. I stopped only to yawn, the miserable energy of the cold was wearing me down.
"Tired?" She asked, yawning as well. I nodded as I walked over to the bed. She looked at me nervously as I hopped on. "Are you sure it's okay if I sleep with you… in bed I mean."
I chuckled and rolled my eyes.
"Get your fluffy ass over and get in the covers!" I shouted. She blushed but obliged.
"Will you turn off that space heater?" I asked as I pulled out my phone. I opened my clock app and set an alarm to wake us up a few hours before classes started. I heard the click of the heater and looked over as Juno stood beside the bed. I scooted over to make room for her. The bed itself was a rather small thing and wouldn't really fit two larger animals comfortably. However, it wouldn't be a problem for a wolf and a small rabbit. I shivered as she lifted the covers and slid next to me. I could feel the growing heat coming from her body. I found myself inching closer to her as she got under the blanket.
Juno blushed as I rubbed against her. "You sure you're okay with this?" My hand rubbed her soft cream colored belly.
"I think if we just stick to cuddling, it'll be just fine." I said as I continued to brush the fleece-like fur with my finger tips. She smiled and snuggled into my small body. Almost instantly, I felt much warmer and cozier.
"Thanks for being so sweet." She said with a yawn. The blanket shifted periodically as her soft tail wagged. I tiredly giggled and nuzzled into her soft fluffy chest.
"That's what friends are for." I closed my eyes but heard her still talking.
"Sorry about kissing you and being so impulsive." She whispered.
"Shu shu shu." I said, hushing the wolf. "Water under the bridge and I won't pretend like I didn't like it." She held me closer to her body, our embrace growing warmer.
"You think you'd ever date me?" She said quietly. I yawned again. The soft warmth was putting me to sleep.
"Maybe after we let our feelings develop more and you clean your wounds. We can see how we feel then. How about if we're both single in a year and we still feel like there's something there."
Juno giggled.
"I'm not sure you can put romance on a time table."
"Bleh, I just did." I murmured into her chest. "Now close your eyes girly." She let out an exhaustive giggle and started to breathe slowly. I smirked through my tired face.
"But if you keep kissing like that… maybe nine months." I said with devilish glee. Juno giggled and licked the inside of my long ear. A gross chill went through my spine.
"Agh!" I yelled as my eyes shot open. I saw the wolf smirking with her tongue out slightly.
"Oh haha now who's the desperate one?" She joked. I rolled my eyes and returned to her snuggling embrace.
I let out a sigh and closed my eyes again.
"Good night Juno."
"Hehe, good night Haru."
Aww, wasn´t that cute?
I think RedLiteAlexi really outdid himself with this one again! If you enjoyed this chapter just as much as I did, show him some love in the reviews or check out his other stories "My Heart, your Hands" and "The Archaeopteryx" on AO3. Both of them are fantastic and he´ll update them really soon as well!
Or talk to us on my discord server ForFurrsSake! Just add me (Furrwolf#8163) and I´ll personally invite you!
Either way, have a great time and stay safe!
~furr