Gamelover41592: I meant depressing because of what happened to Pit.
Matt (Guest): Yep, that's the very next story.
Omni Spectator (Guest): You have no idea what I'm going to do.
Alright, time to save Pit. Let's go
"Hang in there, dad!" Zoey called out as she jumped out the door, Mike, Dark Pit, and Dark Zoey following.
"So...how's Pit doing?" Mike asked, deciding to get just the question everyone was thinking out of the way.
"Pit is still unconscious," Palutena replied. "With his wings burned up, he can't last much longer. But I thought of a way to save him."
"Of course you did," Dark Pit snarked.
"We both all Pit. You know that. Think of the sacrifices he made to save the both of us," Palutena reminded him.
"..All right," Dark Pit conceded, "Then what's the next step?"
"And why are we in the Underworld?" Dark Zoey asked. "Wouldn't that make it easier for that nuisance to stop us?"
"Go to the City of Souls. It's just a little ways ahead," Palutena explained. "It's the place where souls make their final passage into death...or back into life."
"Oh, I get it. You want to turn back the clock and cheat death. Raising the dead, keeping the near-dead alive... It's pretty dirty business," Viridi said.
"I know the stakes, but we don't have a choice," Palutena stoically replied.
"Right, find this soul city place," Dark Zoey noted. "Ugh, this place is so packed with enemies!"
"We are in the Underworld," Mike pointed out as he blasted one away.
"Ugh, what do you see in him!?" Dark Zoey questioned her original.
"A heck of a lot more then you clearly," Zoey fired back. Dark Zoey rolled her eyes while Mike looked offended.
"By the way, thank you, Viridi, for helping Pit and Zoey when I couldn't," Palutena said.
"Just so you know, this is NOT a hug-it-out moment," Viridi scoffed. Mike rolled his eyes.
"Not to hurt your feelings, but THIS Pit doesn't need your help to fly. So don't expect me to suck up to you," Dark Pit smugly declared.
"Yeah, we serve NO ONE!" Dark Zoey additionally declared.
"If Dark Pit flight's unlimited, you don't have to battle on land," Palutena said, deciding to just shrug off the comments.
"So air battle only?" Viridi realized. "It feels strange to say it, but I'm disappointed,"
"I am too," Mike grumbled. So he fought better on the ground then in the air, sue him!
"Uh, guys? I think we're here," Zoey said. Everyone turned to see strange towers that could only vaguely be called buildings.
"What kind of city IS this?!" Dark Pit exclaimed.
"It's unlike any earthly city. The spirits of the dead gather here," Palutena explained.
"Geez, we really ARE in the Underworld," Dark Zoey snarked.
"You got it!" Everyone looked to see a large projection of Hades standing behind the city.
"Oh, it's you," Dark Pit said dryly. He hadn't been a part of the war for most of it, but even he knew how annoying Hades was.
"Our hero's looking a little goth today. I hope the stresses of life haven't gotten you down. That would be ever so tragic," Hades said. "Or maybe it's because his daughter COULD have just as easily flown after his doppelganger and prevent his wings from burning." Zoey did her best not to let her shame show. She could have jumped after them and saved her dad! Hades was so good at getting under people's skin!
"No one's listening," Dark Zoey snapped once she saw her original's attempts at hiding her feelings. Hades's projection faded away.
"Maybe he'll go away?" Mike offered.
"It's hilarious how you have no sense of humor! But that sourpuss attitude's gonna give you an ulcer someday, you know," Hades chimed in.
"Me and my big mouth,"
"Anyway, Pittoo, your understanding is correct. The Underworld is where souls go," Viridi said, returning to the original conversation. "As you all know, Reapers are responsible for carrying souls."
"But we've got an excess of souls these days," Hades admitted. "The Reapers can't handle them all!"
"So the extra souls come here?" Mike asked.
"Yes, though some just fade away. And others are...well...eaten," Palutena said.
"They never get to move on…" Zoey trailed off. That sounded horrible. You would basically just stop existing.
"Even in the afterlife, it's survival of the fittest!" Hades declared.
"That makes some sense. The weak are consumed, just as nature intended," Viridi admitted.
"Don't agree with him out loud, it scares me," Mike deadpanned as the group flew through a small tunnel.
"Remember when I said that some souls get eaten?" Palutena asked once the group was out of the tunnel.
"You said it less then five minutes ago. Yes," Dark Zoey snarked.
"Well, here's the hideous devourer of souls himself!" VIridi exclaimed as a large worm-like creature lunged at the group, who quickly started attacking it in hopes of not being eaten.
"You weren't kidding about the hideous part!" Zoey exclaimed. The Soul-Eating Monster might have been the ugliest monster they had fought so far. And people like Thanatos and Hades weren't exactly lookers.
"I find him quite adorable, actually," Hades chimed in. "And souls CAN be very delicious. Luckily, they don't possess personalities or anything like that." Everyone gasped.
"What!?" Mike exclaimed.
"They don't?" Dark Pit continued. Wasn't a soul one of the most important parts of someone's identity?
"Of course not! Souls have no more personality than blood or bone. They're just another resource to harvest from living beings," Hades explained.
"Your disregard for life is just astounding. Could you be any more callous?" Viridi wondered aloud.
"Well, I could try," Hades cheekily replied. "You know, souls are a bit like taffy. Sweet enough to eat, but pliable enough to mold into any shape I can imagine,"
"I don't even... That's just so... Um... Nuh-uh!" For once, Viridi found herself at a complete loss of words. Then again, no one else was really sure how to reply to that other then continuing to fill up the Soul-Eating Monster with bullets.
"I'd love to get my hands on Pittooey's soul. So dark, so chewy, so malleable! A powerful spirit like that shouldn't be wasted on Ol' Chomper's lunch!" Hades continued. Thankfully, Zoey and Mike were able to defeat the monster, causing it to fall out of the sky. "Eh, no biggie."
"Hey, do you think Hades was serious about molding souls into other forms?" Viridi asked.
"It would explain his endless supply of troops," Palutena gasped as the realization hit her like a truck. "He's making them out of souls!"
"Professor Palutena does it again!" Hades commended.
"But wait... If that's the case, there's no WAY the Underworld Army could ever lose!" Viridi realized. Everyone shared a nervous glance. This was bad.
"Uh... SPOILER ALERT!" Hades chastised.
"Wait, so let me get this straight!" Mike snapped. "Any lives lost in battle go into making you new troops?"
"You got it. So the more fighting there is, the bigger my army gets. My goodness! It feels wonderful to be on the winning team," Hades gushed. Everyone had a feeling he was grinning smugly.
"Think your math is a little off," Dark Zoey said, reminding everyone which side had been winning more battles. "Might want to get some Brain Age practice in."
"I have a brain age of 24!" Viridi boasted.
"And that's relevant because...?" Palutena questioned. Mike had a feeling Viridi was pouting.
Dark Zoey rolled her eyes before she continued. "Beyond the fact you've been winning, think about all the casualties there have been in this war between the gods. If Hades was right, this dump would be way more crowded with monsters."
"Then that means that one fallen soldier doesn't equal one new Underworld monster. After all, creating something as corporeal as a monster would take…" Palutena trailed off. She didn't want to finish the thought. It was making her feel sick.
"A TON of souls!" Viridi finished, only to promptly realize what she said. Zoey was barely able to bite down the vomit forming in her mouth. "...But that's a huge waste! It's...an abomination!"
"Yeah, that's just about the sickest thing I've ever heard. We HAVE to stop him," Dark Pit declared.
"No kidding!" Mike agreed. A projection of Hades then appeared.
"You poor deluded things! You'll never stop me! Not in MY realm!" He boasted as he attempted to strike them. Thankfully, Mike managed to drag everyone behind a pillar, causing that to take the blunt of the attack. Still, it was close.
"Don't let him get under your skin!" Palutena warned.
"Not a problem," Dark Zoey smugly assured her as they flew through the projection of Hades.
"It's been great touring the City of Souls and all, but we're here to save Pit, right?" Dark Pit asked.
"Hey, no need to cop an attitude." Palutena snapped at him. "Just keep moving forward,"
"Get a room, lovebirds," Hades mocked to a chorus of gags. The angels then found themselves at a river of souls. Zoey almost ran her hand through it, but she didn't want to know what would happen if she did.
"This WAS a stream of souls," Palutena explained. "But so many lives have been lost that it's now a torrent. All souls need to find their final resting place down here so that life can spring anew. That's part of the natural cycle of life. But Hades keeps playing with souls. He won't let them rest. His bloodlust has thrown everything off balance."
"How did I ever think humans could be the most disruptive beings on this planet?" Viridi wondered. "Hades has completely knocked EVERYTHING off balance!"
"Then our only option is to take him down," Dark Pit said.
"But to do that, we're going to need Pit's help. Let's get him patched up," Viridi pointed out.
"There's the Rewind Spring!" Mike pointed towards a strange pool city on a platform.
"Mike's correct," Palutena said. "That's where you need to go. I'll bring Pit in right next to you,"
"As the name implies, the Rewind Spring can return things to their original states. But if you soak for too long, it'll rewind things too far, and that can get weird," Viridi explained.
"Hang in there, dad. We're coming," Zoey said as she flew towards the Spring.
"So that's the Rewind Spring," Mike said, sounding impressed as they walked over to it. Suddenly, Dark Pit's wings began glowing, lifting him into the air.
"Dad!" Dark Zoey cried as some energy came out of wings. It flew into the Rewind Spring and came out as Pandora.
"Well, that worked out nicely," She said happily, before going on the attack.
"Wow! I sure wasn't expecting that!" Viridi admitted.
"YOU can thank Dark Pit for bringing me to the Rewind Spring. He and his daughter were rebellious servants, though it seems he still served my purposes in the end. But that little parasite DID steal my powers. And for that, he must pay!" Pandora snapped.
"She can be quite frightening," Palutena said.
"I hope I never get to that point," Viridi admitted.
"Mom, you have bombs that can turn anything into a forest," Mike pointed out. "That's pretty scary already."
"Touche," Viridi replied.
"Wait, so Dark Pit could only fly with Pandora's powers?" Zoey asked. "Ew, that's kinda gross that she was living in his wings."
"Your freeloading days are over!" Pandora snapped at Dark Pit.
"Really. The whole flying thing worked out pretty well for me. I might just defeat you again and steal your power back!" Dark Pit declared.
"And if anyone was the freeloader, it's you!" Dark Zoey chimed in.
"I HIGHLY doubt that," Pandora snarked, only for Mike to knock her back. She staggered back. "Irritating little pests... time to exterminate you!" She then jumped back into the Rewind Spring. After a few seconds, she came out, now with a full body and rather showing outfit.
"Whaaaaaaat?!" All the girls exclaimed.
"Who is that?" Dark Pit and Mike asked. There was no way that could be Pandora, right?
"He he he he he he! It's the new, improved me! Ahhh... it's been so long since I've had a body! Eat your hearts out, ladies!" Pandora said with a giggle before striking a pose, causing the battle to resume.
"SOMEone's overcompensating!" Viridi snapped.
"Feeling a little inadequate, Viridi?" Palutena jokingly asked.
"Of course she is," Pandora chimed in. "You should too! Just LOOK at me!"
"I liked her better back when she was an evil glowing blob," Zoey grumbled.
"She's still an evil blob underneath. She just has better hair, that's all," Viridi snarked.
"There you are, friends. I finally tracked you down! You're a stealthy bunch," Hades said, announcing his presence to the standard reply of groans. "One of these days, I'll make sure you enjoy my presence."
"It's been a long time, Lord Hades," Pandora said.
"Hm? And you are...?" Hades asked. Pandora gasped.
"Don't tell me you've forgotten your old friend Pandora!" She exclaimed.
"...I don't remember you being so...animated," Hades admitted.
"That's not the half of it!" Pandora boasted.
"If the Rewind Spring did this to Pandora, I shudder to think of its effect on Pitty! No one wants to see him in that outfit," Hades paused for a moment so he could hear the disgusted screams of his enemies (and one "cute!" from Palutena). "I'd better destroy the spring."
"You can't do that!" Palutena quickly exclaimed. Everyone realized that they needed to end this battle fast if Hades was on his way over.
"Come on, guys!" Viridi said. "Get rid of Pandora for good!"
"Oh, don't you worry!" Dark Pit promised. As if on cue, Dark Zoey and Zoey finished Pandora off.
"OW!" She cried as she turned back into energy.
"This coming from the mighty Pandora?!" Dark Pit mocked as he went to get the energy back into his wings. As promised, Palutena lowered Pit's body down. Mike quickly grabbed it.
"You only need to dip him in," Viridi warned her son. Mike nodded and knelt down. As gingerly as he could, he lightly dipped Pit's wings. They glowed before returning to normal. Pit woke up a few seconds later.
"Hmm?" He groaned as he looked around. He then realized that he was perfectly fine again. "Ha ha ha!"
"DAD!" Zoey cried as she tackled him into a hug.
"Zoey!" Pit cheered as she returned the hug. He then noticed Dark Pit and Dark Zoey flying off. "Dark Zoey? Pittoo?" They just huffed as they flew off.
"Welcome back, Pit," Palutena said with a smile.
"I missed you so much!" Pit cheered, grateful that he finally had everyone he needed back in his life.
"I missed you too. Let's go home," Palutena said as she whisked Zoey and Pit back to Skyworld, with Viridi doing the same to Mike. Everyone knew that they had a lot of things to catch Palutena up on.
So Pit's back to normal! And it's time to begin the takedown of Hades! See you all then!