*beats Midlink with a stick* Leave room for Hylia!

Why did I have to make Ship A the horny one? Why did I think this was a good idea?! The things I do for comedy and the forbidden love trope...

The Magic Awakens

Chapter 28

Grand Romantic Jester

"You know so much about history." Zelda's smile rested on her woven fingers. "I don't know why Mr Auru keeps failing you."

Ganondorf snorted. "Probably 'cause I can't cite intergenerational trauma as a source."

"Well, now I feel awful for telling you off about the history books."

They sat beside each other at the Harkinian dining table, where the books and notes they had spread out were abandoned. How could they focus on study in such good company?

He smirked, and with her feelings growing stronger, each one was harder to resist. "What about your oath to Hylia?"

"We're on bad terms. She can go eat a shower curtain for all I care."

He chuckled, and then- Oh no. They were doing that thing again. The prolonged eye contact thing. Zelda snatched up their empty cups and saucers. "More tea?"

"Always." She hated that smile, the one that seemed to boast of knowing her thoughts.

In the kitchen, she put on the kettle for a third time, spooned some leaves into the strainers, and was utterly unprepared for the fact that she had nothing else to do for the next 60 seconds.

Her friend Hilda was to blame for all of this. Apparently a certain "dreamy look" passed over Zelda's face quite often as of late. Hilda had assumed it was because of a crush and thus the childish interrogation began. "What's their eye colour?" Zelda hadn't been asked that since she was in primary school. "Their hair colour?" She had thought her answers were randomly selected, but in the following lesson, when she was copying down a maths problem, it finally struck her. She had described Ganon.

Ever since she allowed her heart to run away with Malon, only to get trampled, the mere thought of having a Very Outside Her Control Crush on not just her friend, but her fellow quester was very, very intimidating. Being asexual didn't make her immune to hormones, but it did make her self-aware enough to resent them as much as she did.

She liked when her emotions were logical. Her anxiety was the only outlier, and she was making peace with it, but this? Nayru mustn't have much wisdom at all if this was how romance worked.

Not that Ganon wasn't worthy of her affections. He was, in every way that Zelda could conceive: his humour, his loyalty, his bravery, his ability to set her at ease, and yes, his looks too. But with him recovering from some unspecified mental illness, and their unfinished quest, and the more immediate task of catching him up on the schoolwork he missed, now just wasn't a convenient time to have all these feelings. Shall we reschedule for next month? Said feelings responded by throwing a hissy fit and digging their heels into her heart further.

His shadow enveloped her as he reached for the kettle. "Water's getting cold," he said.

Zelda shuffled aside as her cheeks went aflame, hotter than the steaming water Ganondorf poured into their cups. Did he know? He had a habit of knowing things about her. Surprisingly the hopeless romantic inside her did not rejoice at the thought. It recoiled, because it was afraid. If Ganondorf knew, then why-oh-why had he stopped flirting with her the way he did back when she was Very Not Interested? Would he not have turned things up a little? Maybe asked her the question that almost everyone at school wanted to be asked right now? Or maybe it just wasn't the time for romance, even with the school dance on the horizon.

"You seem a bit out of it," Ganondorf said. "Should we call it a day?"

Oh no no no. If they did that, he would have to leave. She didn't want him to leave. "You know, it's been a while since we've relaxed together." Zelda was both immensely proud and terrified of herself for putting forth that proposal. "We could watch a movie or... I mean, it's fine if you can't."

"Zelda." He said her name with the utmost seriousness, and it fanned the flames of her nerves. "That sounds awesome."

That was settled nicely. Too nicely.

She led the way to the couch and reached for the remote on the coffee table. "What would you like to watch?"

"You pick. I'd like to know your tastes more."

That was far too much pressure to put on her. "Well, there's this bio pic that Midna recommended. I think you'd relate to one of the characters."

They lounged on the couch side-by-side, still a sliver of space between them, one that Zelda yearned to cross, and she wondered if Ganondorf wanted to cross it as well. The arm that was draped across the back of the couch, just shy of her head, supported her hypothesis, but what if that happened to be the most comfortable position for his large frame? It certainly meant they weren't squashed up against each other.

About ten minutes into the movie, the Twilit main character said a line that was nothing special to Zelda but made Ganondorf chortle.

"What is it?" Zelda asked.

"She reminds me of you."

Zelda caught her jaw before it fell. "You think so?"

"Look at her," Ganondorf gestured. "She's agonising over if that one note needs to be higher or not. Who else do I know with that kind of perfectionism?"

"Midna?" Zelda suggested.

"Nah. Hers is ruthless. Yours is paralysing."

"Oh." Her cheeks warmed again. What would he think when the roguish love interest was introduced in the next few scenes? Could Zelda confess that he was the character she was comparing Ganondorf to?

Okay. She was getting too worked up over this, and that would do them no good. Being meek and withdrawn wasn't going to help Ganondorf's recovery, the quest, or their study. Just... relax. Let the relationship be whatever it wants to be.

Nerves were not so easily persuaded to leave, but Zelda could at least dig through them to the most natural thing she wanted to do, and that was to nestle into his side, which was far more comfortable than sitting up straight and rigid to avoid any contact what-so-ever.

The rational part of her predicted that Ganondorf "I've Been Comfortably Flirting With You Since Childhood" Dragmire would relax into it with her, but he stiffened, and she didn't know why.

"Is this okay?" she asked. Maybe underneath all that suave confidence, he was just as nervous as her, or maybe his affections had faded, and she had made him uncomfortable by hinting at her own.

His arm slipped down from the back of the couch and draped over her instead. There was something so tentative about the action, as if he was hyperaware of how fragile she was around him. "It's great."

They stayed like that as the film continued, and slowly, Ganondorf relaxed into their ambiguous cuddle.

"You know what? I take it back," he said.

"Take back what?"

"You're not a perfectionist anymore."

"Is that a bad thing?" Zelda queried.

"Nah. I think it's pretty neat. I've seen you do amazing shit when you go with your gut."

She sighed. "I've done some awful things too."

"Never said it was perfect."

No, it wasn't perfect. Her anxiety and incidents like the debate and the dodongo had caused her to mistrust her instincts greatly, but Ganondorf's comment encouraged her to interrogate her gut for what she wanted to do in the present. Tell him how you feel, it said.

She could hardly listen to that nonsense now, could she? Yes, it would mean a more open and honest relationship between herself and her friend, whatever that may entail, and it would mean she could stop agonising over the uncertainty of everything, but was she ready to risk rejection? Worse yet, was she ready for what would happen if he still felt the same? Just because Link was somehow capable of dating as a chosen hero didn't mean she was!

Her anxiety won the battle, but her heart negotiated a compromise. She and Ganondorf would continue to enjoy this ambiguous affection for as long as they could.

"Has the catering been finalised?" Midna asked. She sat at the head of six desks pushed together with as many people present. On her right was the vice president.

"Dad's all over it," Groose said.

"And you made sure to be very specific about the dietary requirements?"

His face was struck by panic. "Were they important?"

Midna's hand smacked against the table. "I reminded you no less than four times. There are people who are vegan or have allergies. What do we do now? Let them starve?"

"But the list you gave me was so long." It was not. "I can't keep track of it all."

"You could have passed it along or read it out loud to your dad, word-for-word. I don't know how I could've made it any easier." Groose wilted under her sharp tone. "Can you fix it tonight?"

"Yes, President," he droned.

"Good. I'll be checking in with you. Don't disappoint me."

"Yes, President."

The only good thing about having Groose at these meetings was hearing him call her "President" even though he had no obligation to. It was his way of continuing to whine about how he lost the election, and Midna was quite alright with that.

"Okay, are there any other last-minute issues we need to discuss regarding the dance?" Most of the table shook their heads, but Groose raised his hand. "Great work, everyone," Midna chirped."That's it for today. Remember to keep an eye on the virtual task board. Meeting dismissed."

The student council arranged the desks and chairs back into the regular classroom layout. Everyone filed out of the room, aside from Midna and predictably, Groose. She stood in a corner with her back to him. All she wanted was a moment of peace to finalise the task board and read over the minutes on her tablet, but that insufferable oaf kept craning his neck over her shoulder, waving to catch her eye.

"Hey, I know we already announced the theme a few weeks ago," he said, "but I still think we have time to change it before the assembly tomorrow." With an exasperated groan, Midna paced to another corner, still hunched over her tablet. "I just think that superheroes are a lot trendier, y'know?"

"Trendier?" That was a new one. Midna whirled around. "How is that trendier than the theme we already have? We literally have the most on-trend theme in the history of school dances."

"But like, it's not old times anymore."

Midna let out a long sigh as she pinched her nose. "For the last time, we're not changing the theme. The council voted on it. The students voted on it. The dance has already been planned around it. It can't be done."

"I really think we could pull off the change in a few days." Midna paced away again. "It'll be worth it." More pacing. "We can announce it at the assembly tomorrow so everyone knows how to dress up on Saturday."

"Most people have their outfits picked out already."

"Yeah, but-"

Link poked his head through the doorframe. "Hey, Groose. I think your pompadour's drooping."

With a mortified gasp, Groose covered his hair as he dashed out the door. Link craned his neck until Groose disappeared around the corridor towards the nearest bathroom.

"Harkinian," Midna sharped. "Anything to report?"

Link straightened up in the middle of the doorframe, hands behind his back like a soldier. His shirt was covered in fresh paint stains. "The entrance arch has been completed."

"Anything else?"

"Yes," Link said. "You're doing a great job, Ms President."

Midna smiled as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Thank-you, Harkinian. As you were." He relaxed as he crossed the room towards her.

Link had joined the dance preparation committee for two reasons. One was to give himself something marginally exciting to do before the end of term, and the second was so that he and Midna could steal more moments together.

The caveat was that Midna put him to work. For most of the services they booked, he was the one who had to bumble through the phone calls. High profile DJs and light technicians were more likely to say yes to the "Allegedly Chosen Hero". (That meme refused to die.)

Once that was sorted, he put his handy skills towards building decorative set pieces. Mr Gondo, the construction teacher, had begged Link to let him reference the real Master Sword, and Link relented after his bribes became far too outlandish for comfort. (Why in Din's name would he want Gondo's prized robot scraps?)

Link leaned on a hand against the wall beside Midna. "So, I heard you've picked out your outfit already."

Midna laughed. "I'm not gonna spoil the surprise."

"At least tell me which legend you're going for."

She bumped him with her hip as she sashayed past. "Like you don't already know." Well, that confirmed it. His night was going to be ruined by the fact that she would be both stunningly beautiful and untouchable. "I'm just glad it's almost over." She sat down on one of the desks, boots barely grazing the floor.

"Why'd you sit?" Link asked.

"So you don't have to stand on you tippy toes to kiss me, shorty."

Link scoffed as he wandered over. "You could bend down, you know." He lanced his fingers at the small of her back.

She crossed her ankles behind his knees. "You may be descended from royalty, but I am not bowing down to you."

Whenever they were alone in places such as this, where they could be discovered at any moment, even the most delightful kisses were marked by shows of longing. Hands teased hemlines that they could not cross. They snaked over parts they wished were bare skin. Teeth were reserved for only the most featherlight teasing. It was a silent conversation, a shared daydream about what they could do together if their relationship wasn't such a taboo.

For Midna, the yearning was a little too strong today. Half of his thumbnail was running under the hem of her waist-length top, trailing fire along her skin. She wanted to feel it where it would burn. Her nails slithered out of Link's hair, trailed down his arm, and stilled his hand, pressing it firmly into the starting line. Which she lifted.

Their rhythm halted, but Midna's smile against Link's lips was the final invitation he needed. The kisses became longer. Deeper. The fire inched higher until it licked the edge of Midna's bra. She released the hem ready to snap the final barrier away, when Link sprung up. Half a second later, she heard it too.

Footsteps pounded down the hall. In a panicked impulse, Midna shoved Link away so hard that he smacked against the floor

The door creaked open. "Link?" Groose wrinkled his nose. "What are you doing down there?"

"Uh…" Link raised a straight leg as high as he could. "Just stretching." He could feel Midna silently laughing in his shadow.

"Why?"

Link sat up and stretched his arms next. "Gotta stay in peak physical condition, y'know? Never know when another dragon might show up." He stood and arched his hips on each side. "Midna's gone home. You just missed her."

Groose waved it off. "Actually, I wanna talk to you. Bro to bro."

I'm not your bro, Link thought, and he was about to excuse himself when he noticed how very different Groose's demeanour was. He was meek and blushing, and for a terrifying second, Link was afraid that Groose was going to ask him to the dance.

What he said smacked Link harder than that. "Does Zelda like me? As in, in that way?"

Midna was having a very hard time staying quiet. "No," Link said bluntly.

"It's cool if she wants you to keep it a secret. I get it." Link wanted to leave, but the doorway was very much obscured by this lovestruck oaf. "I swear I wasn't stalking her in the library or anything, but I overheard her talking about her crush with her friend, and he sounds a lot like me."

Somehow this conversation was even more confusing than the day Link had drawn the Master Sword. He cycled through many different excuses before he decided that he was too curious to leave just yet. "What did she say?"

"He has red hair and gold eyes." Groose slicked back his pompadour. "And I'm the most handsome guy around who looks that way." The smallest semblance of a laugh slipped past Midna's defences, as if she knew something Link was painfully oblivious to. "I already asked her to the dance like five times, but maybe she wants me to come at the right angle. What do you think?"

Link was at a loss for words. Sometimes the brain was given information that was impossible to process, yet Groose was staring at him with such hope and anticipation, progressively leaning closer. Link slowly backed away, which wasn't great for the "protective brother" act he needed to pull off.

"If you even try, I'll have to-"

"I should try?" Groose broke into a wide grin. "Thanks, Link. I'm glad we're friends." Before Link could clap back at that notion, Groose dashed out the door. Whatever he was in a hurry for, Link hadn't a clue, and he didn't care anyway.

The silence that had befallen the room was engulfed by cackling. Midna had to crawl out of Link's shadow and use a desk to pull herself up. Just as she began to settle down, she caught sight of Link's frustrated glare and it flung her into another hysterical fit.

"I don't get what's funny about Groose harassing my sister," Link grumbled.

"Gods no!" Midna exclaimed. "I will personally be her bodyguard for the rest of the week."

"Then what has you so wound up?"

"How clueless you are," she said, voice twanging like a rubber band. "Red hair? Gold eyes? Can't think of anyone else who might qualify?"

The implication dawned on Link. "It's probably a friend of Ganon's."

Midna clutched her sides. During his conversation with Groose, she could picture a loading icon above Link's head. "You just can't handle the fact that you're about to become the third wheel on all the adventures."

"And how would you know this?" Link demanded. "I've known them for years."

"Which only makes it more hilarious," said Midna. "Think about it. She visited him a lot in Gerudo Town during his recovery."

"Because I couldn't."

"And they've been having all those study sessions."

"Because he missed two weeks of school."

"Not to mention that he's been flirting with her for years."

"As a joke!" Link exclaimed. "He never got upset whenever Zel wasn't interested. If he actually felt that way, he'd sulk a little."

Midna hummed. "Counterpoint: remember when you confessed to me in the Shadow Temple?"

"Only in therapy, but sure."

"You said what you thought, and didn't expect anything in return," she said. "What if your best friend has been doing that for years?"

Oh.

Oh.

"Whatever. It's their business." Link checked the time on his slate. "I should be getting you home soon."

Midna sat on one of the desks again. "Actually, remember how I've been learning how to warp?"

"Yeah?"

She smiled deviously as a dozen locks of hair coiled around Link's form. He let them guide him towards her. "It means you now have a choice," she purred. "A fifteen-minute drive to my house, or fifteen minutes of whatever we can get away with?"

Link had warned Zelda that Groose was going be even more relentless in his pursuits of her. Before school, Midna held true to her promise to shield Zelda from the creep, and Link also stuck close, but Groose had abandoned his routine of cornering Zelda at her locker every morning.

All was well, until the assembly.

Principal Rauru sat on the stage beside his deputy, along with a few other staff members who had already spoken their piece. There were two empty chairs at the very end. Groose was missing, not that anyone minded, while Midna spoke at the podium. "A reminder that the theme for this Saturday's dance is-"

Disaster struck the intercom system. A mind-numbingly cheesy love song from the 80s acted as a war drum for the horrific display to follow.

Groose ran onstage, a cape fluttering behind him. Knowingly or not, he crashed into Midna like a drifting car. She screeched so loud that she blew out the microphone and almost fell down the stairs. Her gymnastics training kicked in, and she flew over them in a clumsy flip but still landed in a nasty tumble. One of the onstage staff rushed to her aid. Another frantically signalled for the sound team on the other side of the hall to shut it down.

Rauru ambled towards Groose, but he tripped over a trigger wire and landed face forward. Plastic streamers rained from the ceiling, along with a She said YES! sign, engulfing everyone onstage in a tangle. Aside from Groose, who grooved with the stolen microphone as if there was nothing wrong.

If there was ever a time when Link and Zelda looked like the twins they were, it was right then and there. They had identical mortified expressions as they watched the display like a bloody car crash in slow motion.

When Groose spoke into the blown-out microphone, it was like the rogue car spun towards them and revved its engine. "Zelda, I think you're the grooviest gal around." Goddesses, this was already such an ear-sore. "You're sexy as hell." Sexy wasn't something Zelda aspired to be. Ever. "You're feisty." You mean aggressively fed up with you? "Everyone says you're a goddess reborn, but you've always been a goddess to me." And now he was throwing her failures in her face. Wonderful. "For the past three years, you've led me on the greatest cat and mouse chase of my life. Well then, my little mouse, today's the day I finally catch you." This was exactly why Zelda needed feminism.

"I wanna ask you something, and I won't take no for an answer." Because someone who couldn't respect boundaries was so desirable!

Rauru freed himself from the final streamer, but just as he raised himself, he was trampled by Cawlin and Fledge carrying a long, crudely crafted banner onstage. The aesthetic could only be described as "pre-school sketch". It displayed the very question Zelda had been dreading.

Zelda Hakinikan

Will u go 2 da dance with me?

Cawlin snatched a wireless microphone from one of the staff members nursing a few bruised ribs. He pattered down the stairs (ploughing into a newly recovered Midna) and ran down the aisle as fast as his stubby legs would carry him. He skidded to a halt once he reached Zelda's row. She was frozen stiff as he muscled his way towards her. Link stood, shielding Zelda, but Cawlin wove into Link's seat, shoved the microphone in Zelda's hand, and scurried away like a little bug.

Groose stared right at Zelda, grinning as if he was about to be presented with a fat cheque on a game show. Students craned their necks over each other to see his target. Zelda's head sank into her shoulders as she tugged the neck of her blouse as high as it would sit. She wanted to be invisible. This was the exact opposite of invisible!

"C'mon, Zel." Groose was not allowed to call her that. "What's your answer?"

The staff were still entangled in streamers and pain, Midna had barely limped up the stairs, and the silence was far too crushing. As Zelda rose to her feet, a thousand heads followed her. She raised the microphone to her lips, but nothing came out. If Ghirahim crashed in and announced her assassination, she would not have protested one bit. Death would be a merciful release from the sheer terror of a Grand Romantic Gesture. Her mouth moved, but her voice had forsaken her. Silent, airy mumbling.

Groose leaned forward, more pleased with himself by the second. He had done it. He had blown Zelda away with his epic display. However could she resist him now?

Slowly, the words came. "I'm… flattered." She was not. "But as I have said repeatedly, I do not feel the same way as you. If you truly care about me, then I'm sure you will accept my answer with grace and respect."

With the release of the tension, the school busted their guts laughing. The stupid sign. The tacky cape. The tasteless speech. Zelda's eloquent shut down. It was the most hysterical display they had ever seen.

And Groose, who finally realised he was the butt of the joke, couldn't fathom how things went so wrong. "But I heard you like someone with red hair and gold eyes," he said, flabbergasted. Zelda went stiff. "Who else has those?"

About half the Gerudo raised their hands. Ganondorf, who sat a few rows ahead of Zelda, refused to join them. Bowing his head to hide his eyes. Was it an act of respect for her? Was he embarrassed to find out this way? Or was he embarrassed to know at all?

The only thing that made the situation slightly less embarrassing on a school-wide level was her open biromanticism. Actually, it made it worse, because without an obvious candidate, everyone was expecting her answer to Groose's question.

Zelda shoved the microphone at Link and dropped back into her seat, drowning out the crowds with her hands. She needed to be alone; the thought spirals were coming back.

Midna stumbled towards the podium. With a light shove, Groose tottered aside, still fixated on the woman who had shattered his heart.

The president cleared her throat. "As I was saying, the theme for the dance is Legends of Old." She glanced at the carnage onstage. "Has anyone called an ambulance yet?" Half a dozen hands rose. "Great! You're all dismissed."

"You don't have the authority!" someone yelled.

"Shut up and get to class, Ashei."

Someone needs to ban assemblies at Central High before a fatal accident occurs. It's only a matter of time...

Now that Zelda's crush on Ganondorf has been outed, how do you think he'll respond?