Chapter 27

Ana

"I'm really proud of you, kid."

My throat tightens up. "Thanks, Dad."

"But you need to tell your mom."

And there it is. "Dad…"

"If she finds out any other way, she's going to be even harder on you, and you know that's the truth. She lashes out when she feels left out."

"But she's not… I can't just call her up like I can with you and say 'hey, I'm doing this, thanks for supporting me,' because she doesn't." I rub my forehead. It's painfully ironic how motherhood had made me closer to Ray and put miles of emotional distance between me and my mother.

He sighs. "It's up to you, but I don't want her to give you grief for not telling her. And you only have a few days at the most."

"Hours, actually. Well, luckily, Mom doesn't have Instagram." Ezra was about to begin promoting me on his social media today. A knot has taken up residence in my stomach at the thought of it.

He chuckles humorlessly. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"I won't." Just then, I hear the doorbell, smiling to myself. "Hey, I have to go. I'm about to have a meeting. Love you."

"Love you, too, Annie. Take care."

I hang up as I walk into the foyer, then open the door to be tackled by a very tall mass of raven hair. "Ana! Oh my God, it's been forever since we hung out," Mia squeals.

"Hey," I giggle, hugging her back.

"Where are the munchkins?" she asks as we walk to the kitchen.

I put the kettle on the stove and take out the mugs and teabags. "They're with Christian for the afternoon."

"Oh, good, so I can be as loud as I want. Because holy fuck, Ana, your song has been on repeat since I opened it. I'm in literal shock. You're incredible."

I feel my cheeks pink and I get the urge to cover my face, but instead I fold my hands in my lap. "Thank you, I'm glad you like it."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Just hear me out, okay?"

Well, this sounds dangerous. I plaster a smile on and nod.

"The Coping Together gala is next week."

"Next week? I thought it was always in June."

"The event planner had a conflict or something in June, blah blah, so we moved it up to next Friday. What I'm asking is… will you perform?"

My eyes widen. "Uh… what?"

"Oh, please, Ana! It's for charity and I'm sure you'll draw a lot of attention to it. I bet we'd break records with our donations if people got to hear you. Just think about it?"

"I mean… okay, sure, I'll think about it." Ezra is going to shit his pants. There's no way you'll be allowed to pass on this.

"Yay!" She claps her hands excitedly, but then her smile falters and her face takes on an uncharacteristically somber expression. "I… I wish I'd known how much you were suffering. You know, when he wasn't around. I didn't know how bad things were. I mean, the song is beautiful, but it's so… raw," she says gently. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

"Mia, it wasn't anything you did. I just didn't want to involve his family, and honestly, I didn't know how to talk about it. I could barely get through the meetings with the lawyer trying to make the separation agreement without turning into a sobbing mess, I didn't know how to tell anyone else what was going on. It was too much."

She sighs. "Look, I'm not on anyone's side. I'll still love you even if you two never get back together. All I want to say is just try to give him the benefit of the doubt. There are things you haven't talked about, and… honestly, no exaggeration, the sun still rises and sets with you for him. But that doesn't excuse his behavior. He mentioned that he asked you for couples counseling?"

I nod. "Yes, and I'm considering it, I really am. I just don't want to jump right into that until I get some kind of a handle on myself first. I think I just… I need to try to be Ana instead of Mrs. Grey. I need to figure out who I am before I figure out where we stand."

She smiles and reaches over to take my hand. "I think that's a fantastic idea. You two were so wrapped up in each other from the beginning… don't tell him I said this, but I honestly think a little time for you both to focus on individual growth is a good thing."

I feel tears prick at my eyes, and I realize how much I've missed Mia. I'm seeing all over again just how understanding and mature she can be. Before I can think about it, I lean over and give her a hug. "I really missed you so much," I whisper.

"Oh, Ana." Her voice is thick with tears as she hugs me back. "I missed you, too. Promise me that we are sisters no matter how this ends?"

"I promise."

Our tender moment is interrupted by a shrieking tea kettle. We both giggle and I pour us both a cup while Mia unpacks some pastries she brought over. "So, sister. I'm feeling a rom com this afternoon. Shall we go barricade ourselves into your fancy home theater?"

I hold my arm out with a flourish. "Lead the way, sister."

After a tranquil afternoon of snacking and cheesy romance movies with Mia, Christian dropped the kids back off while I was taking a bath, so we didn't cross paths. I've just put them to bed and have big plans for a night on the couch in comfy pajamas when I realize I haven't checked my phone since Mia came over. Oh well. If anything big had happened, Sawyer would tell me.

I meander over to the kitchen counter where I left it and find several missed calls from my mother. My chest tightens with anxiety as I realize what that must mean. Checking my texts, I find a confirmation from Ezra that my face is officially plastered all over his corner of the Internet. He took sneaky candid shots of me in the studio to use as promotional photos if it ever came to that, and they were posted a few hours ago.

Maybe she'll surprise you! Maybe she'll be supportive! I roll my eyes at the tiny, idealistic voice in my head. No sense delaying the inevitable. If we're lucky, she'll be asleep?

I tap her contact and hold my breath. She picks up after two rings. "Well, well, about time I heard from you. What took so long?"

"Hello, Mom. I was spending time with a friend this afternoon and then putting my kids to bed. I don't always look at my phone."

"Well, today, that might be for the best. What are you thinking, Anastasia? You're not a musical person."

I sigh. Sticking to the status quo. "I was thinking that I would try something I was passionate about and trust the advice of the professional music producer I worked with. Did you call me just to berate me?"

"It's not just me, honey. Have you seen the headlines? Don't shoot the messenger."

Headlines? Fuck. This is all I need. I mute myself and quickly Google my name. I can't stop the gasp that escapes when I read the headlines on the top stories.

Bored Billionaire's Wife to Release Single

Anastasia Grey Releasing Single with Apparent Boyfriend/Music Producer

Expensive Hobbies? Anastasia Grey and 5 Other Non-Musicians Who Have Tried Music

I vaguely hear my mother's voice, though with the panic pulsing through me, it sounds like she's underwater. "You're going to make a fool of yourself, Ana. You've never even shown any interest towards music. What makes you think anyone would listen to you?"

I break out of my panic-induced trance, and suddenly, all the years of grinning and bearing her snide little comments that she swears are harmless seem to catch up with me all at once. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Mom? Honestly? Do you realize that I would never, ever, in a million years speak to my children the way you speak to me? I'm doing something I believe in and all you have is negativity. I expect it from the media, but you should know me better than that. You think my marriage is in trouble and all you can talk about is the payout I'm going to get. As if I only see him as a bank account, not someone I love and thought I would spend my life with. And you see no issue with me leaving my babies with a nanny for God knows how long so I can come visit you. Heaven forbid you invite your grandchildren too, or even worse, actually come here."

"Ana! Why on earth are you speaking to me like this? I'm trying to help!" she splutters.

"No, you're trying to shame me so I question myself and do what you think I should do. Because in the end, that's all that matters to you. Whatever you want, no matter where it leaves me."

"Ana, stop this. I have always loved you. Where is this coming from?"

My head feels like it's about to split in two. "I wouldn't know where to begin to explain it to you. I have to go." I hear her start to protest, but I've already hung up.

I collapse onto the couch and bring my knees up to my chest, trying to slow my breathing, when I feel the phone buzzing again. I pick it up, ready to block my mother's number, when I see that it's Ezra. "What?" I answer breathlessly.

"Ana. Jesus. These fucking sharks. I've already had my team put out a statement that you and I are in no way romantically involved. Otherwise, they'll eat their words once they hear you."

The sympathy and concern in his voice are my undoing after the detachment and condescension in my mother's. I put my hand over my mouth and start to cry.

"Ana, Ana, no, please don't. You know how they'll do anything for a click. They're making assumptions and it will make them look like fools once your music is actually out. Trust me, in two days, they'll be printing retractions and apologies in less time than it takes to finish listening to the song."

"Maybe this was a mistake," I whisper.

"No. It was absolutely not. You cannot let this break you, Ana. You know they have nothing to back this shit."

"It's easy for you to say when you're the guy who bagged the billionaire's wife to them and I'm the laughingstock who was bored and decide to fool around in the studio despite how talentless I am."

"The media is misogynistic, Ana. They hate to see a woman succeed on her own, especially one with a hot husband who the women writing the articles wish they could land. This is not about you. We've already got people on it and I predict lawsuits."

I hear the doorbell ring. What the hell? Sawyer should be off duty by now. I pick myself off the couch without bothering to wipe my red, teary eyes. Sawyer has seen worse. I throw open the door and almost drop the phone when I see Christian standing there.

His eyes immediately begin scrutinizing my red nose and eyes and tear-stained cheeks, his brow etched with concern. "Ezra, I'll call you back," I mutter and end the call. "Sorry, I thought you were Sawyer. What are you doing here?" I wipe the tears away with my sleeve and step back, inviting him in.

"Phoebe left her favorite bunny in the back of the car. I thought she would want it back. What's going on? What's wrong?" His voice is strained.

I look down and indeed see the little pink bunny in his hand. "Thank you, that was sweet of you." I reach my hand out for the toy, but he doesn't let go of it.

I look up and he's staring at me with a pleading, disquieted look. "Ana, please talk to me. Something is wrong. Don't sweep it under the rug."

He's not wrong. Nowhere to hide now. "It's a long story," I hedge.

"Then I'll make you some tea and you can get comfortable and tell me." Both his gaze and his tone make it clear that he will be accepting no arguments, but both then soften. "If that's what you want." Suddenly, he seems insecure, vulnerable.

That gentle qualifier tacked on at the end ruins any hope I had of putting him off. I sigh. "You make tea, I'll go deliver the bunny."

He smiles, looking relieved, and finally lets go of it. I quietly pad upstairs and slip into Phoebe's room. She's sound asleep, so I tuck the stuffed animal into bed beside her and give her one more kiss on the forehead. While I'm around, I peek in at Teddy and see that he's also asleep. I can't resist giving him a kiss too.

Downstairs, I see Christian taking a mug out of the microwave. He never did have the patience for the kettle. He turns and sees me, smiling shyly as he sets it on the counter. His eyes wander down my body and linger on my bare legs. I'm wearing a dark blue cotton pajama set, with a long sleeve shirt and admittedly very short shorts, but hey, I wasn't expecting company. Much less company this tempting. Fuck. Why is he hotter than the tea?

I table my dirty thoughts and perch myself on the edge of the counter next to the steaming cup. "Thank you."

"My pleasure. So, talk to me." He leans against the counter next to me, giving me his full attention.

I sigh and pull my phone out of my pocket. I unlock it and find it still open on the list of headlines, so I just hand him the phone. He scrolls through and his face darkens with every swipe of his finger. "This is fucking disgusting," he growls. "How dare they talk about you like that?"

"Ezra says his team is on it," I mumble.

He sets the phone to the side and gently lays his hand over mine. "Is this why you're upset? Ana, you know they'll say anything. It means nothing. And I heard your song, there's no way anyone will take them seriously after they hear it themselves. It was… transcendent. They've set themselves up for embarrassment with these outrageous claims."

"You... you listened?" I stutter.

His gaze is sincere and uninhibited. "I listened, and then I listened again, and again, and again. You have a gift, and it's not just because I'm in love with you that I see it. Do you really not know how exceptional it is? That you are?"

I try to act like I'm not completely bowled over at how casually he slipped in 'I'm in love with you' as if we were discussing the weather. "I just… I didn't know… I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."

He reaches up and tenderly brushes another tear that I didn't know had spilled over from my cheek. "I feel like I've never been more proud of you."

I can't contain my shallow gasp and I drop my gaze as my heart hammers in my chest. "Is that all it was?" he continues gently. "I could have my team get all those taken down by morning if that's what you want. Just say the word."

I scoff. "No, I wasn't exactly expecting kindness from the media. My mom called me and… she said some things, and that's how I found out about them, and we had words, and… it was just everything at once."

He doesn't say anything, just pulls me in against his chest, and my tremulous hold against the well of tears I'm holding back abruptly slips. He strokes my hair and gently shushes me, just holding me. For the first time in so long, I feel safe, warm, protected… loved?

I don't know how long we remain like this, me resting on the edge of the counter with Christian's arms wrapped around me like ivy, but eventually my tears slow. I pull back and scoot back a tiny bit to put some distance between us. The fact is, I'm vulnerable and he smells like some godly male pheromones that were handmade for me, and this is dangerous territory.

I take a deep breath and run a hand through my hair. "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you to show up, and I was right in the middle of dealing with this mess when you did. I'm really fine. It was just a lot at once."

"Ana… you don't need to qualify the fact that you needed comfort, and you absolutely don't need to apologize for it. All I've ever wanted is to be that person for you. I'm glad that I showed up." He picks up my left hand and holds it in his, his thumb gently caressing my ring finger. "Listen to me. Your mother, if she even deserves the title, has never understood you. She takes, and you give. Whatever she filled your head with, it's baseless garbage. She'll see along with the media. In a few days, everyone who's doubted you will be eating their words and groveling at your feet. I have no doubt," he says with conviction.

I'm locked in his gaze, a smooth, deep, grey ocean, boring into mine. I'm standing at the edge and I slip when I swear I can see the same devotion, commitment, affection… love, that I saw for years.

Oh, fuck. I'm done for.

Before I can consider the consequences, before I can listen to the rational part of me screaming that this is a terrible idea, I tug him forward using the hand that's holding mine, weave my fingers into his hair, and pull his lips to mine.

He immediately responds, groaning and gripping my waist, pulling me flush against him. He's standing in between my legs and I feel him grow against me. I gasp, allowing his tongue full access, and he deepens the kiss. I wrap my legs around his waist. He leans forward, bowing me against the countertop, then pulls back for a moment, gazing down at me with wild eyes like I'm about to disappear. He kisses me again, this time more softly, sensually. We rememorize each other's lips, clinging to each other feverishly, until a small voice interrupts.

"Mommy?"

Christian pulls me up into a sitting position with a speed that almost gives me whiplash, and we both turn our heads to see Teddy standing in the doorway in his pajamas. He gives us a puzzled look. "I thought you went back to where you live, Daddy?"

Christian still has his arms around me as we look at our son. Shit, he's going to get the wrong idea. I push him away from me, sliding off the counter. I feel him stiffen as I touch him and the regret for my lack of self-control starts to creep in.

I put on a smile for Teddy's sake and walk over to him, kneeling in front of him. "Phoebe left Bunny in Daddy's car and he was just bringing it back over. Are you okay, sweetie?"

"I had a bad dream," he whimpers and walks forward into my arms.

"A bad dream? It's okay, baby, I'm here now. Nothing can hurt you."

"Can you stay with me until I'm asleep again?" he pleads.

"Of course I can."

He looks over my shoulder. "Daddy too?" he asks in a small voice.

Shit, fuck, fuck, shit, shit, fuck. I turn and look at Christian. He's looking at us with longing, sad eyes. Don't look at me, you're the idiot who kissed him. Mixed messages much?

"If Daddy is okay with that, of course. Whatever you need."

Teddy breaks into a wide smile. "Okay, hurry please!" He scampers back towards his bedroom, all traces of the scared little boy who had a nightmare gone in an instant.

I stand up and turn back to Christian, who is already walking towards me. "No, wait." I hold my hands out in front of me. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

"No. That was so stupid of me. I don't want to confuse you. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Ana, that was the best thing that's happened to me all year. Stop apologizing. I know it doesn't mean that everything is fixed, but look at what we still have between us." He takes a step forward, and like magnets, so do I.

Are you actually insane?

He takes my hand and I step back again, pulling it away. "No! Teddy is waiting. We can talk about this some other time."

"You're really okay with me staying?" he asks. I want to pull my hair out at the undercurrent of hope in his voice. You're an idiot. A sex-deprived idiot.

"Teddy wants that, and he deserves that. It's for him."

He nods and before I can make another ill-advised move, I practically run upstairs and find Teddy already tucked under his covers. I climb into his bed and he immediately cuddles into my side. Christian isn't far behind me, and Teddy smiles gleefully when he climbs in on his other side.

"Night, Mommy. Night, Daddy. Love you." He takes my arm and pulls it over him, then does the same with Christian's, placing his hand over mine.

Very subtle, Teddy.

I kiss his little meddling cheek. "I love you. Go to sleep."

Christian does the same. "I love you. We're right here. We'll fight all the monsters, promise."

He closes his eyes peacefully and folds his hands over ours, ensuring that there will be no escape until he is firmly knocked out. Oh, this kid is good.

I don't know when, but eventually my eyelids begin to grow heavy, and before I have a chance to rouse myself, I fall asleep with my hand still nestled between my husband's and my son's.

A/N: I was going to post this tomorrow, but it was done now, so no reason to make you wait.

Ana, Ana, Ana... well, who can blame her? What do you think will happen in the morning?