CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
(BPOV)
A hushed whisper pulled me from sleep and I could only grin at the sight of Jacobs warm smile.
"We have to get up."
I groaned in protest and he chuckled with a guilty expression.
"Are you sure we have to?" I questioned, as I sat up and glanced around at the mess we'd made.
Throw pillows and blankets were scattered in every which direction on the living room floor and the sofa covered in a heap of white comforters from our bed.
What had started as a mere innocent joke about fifty shades of grey, had quickly turned into a personal challenge Jacob was determined to fill.
"We do-..." He regretfully sighed. "Sorry, honey. We've been in here all morning. It's almost noon and I told Gentry I'd be over to get the kids before lunch."
I nodded and stretched again, feeling the soreness in some of my muscles with a faint blush that stained my ivory cheeks when I reflected on why I was a bit stiff. It was a small price to pay.
"You know, I never expected this morning to play out like it did." I admitted, pressing a kiss to his shoulder as I inched myself closer to him, my eyes soon studying the well defined muscles of his back. "You surprised me. That's for sure. Again and again-"
"-and again..." He finished, turning his head to peer over his shoulder at me when my lips lingered there for a moment longer on his warm russet skin.
"Guess I shouldn't underestimate you? I think I've learned my lesson not to do that again." I softly teased, wrapping the sheet around my naked frame as he reached for me.
"You make me want to stay right here with you - all day. Forget the rest of the world, but we can't do that."
He drew me around into his lap with a huff of frustration.
"Nope, we have things to do. Things that involve getting dressed." I hinted, kissing the tip of his nose as he settled me in his arms.
"I hate the idea already. Why cover this with clothes. Such a tragedy if you ask me."
I laughed aloud at this and he smirked in response.
"You're biased."
"Maybe, and your point?" He mused.
"My point is, I'm no Victoria Secret model. Case you haven't noticed, I've put on a few pounds from the kids."
"I've noticed, and you don't hear me complaining. Every curve of you is perfect, Bella."
"As long as you think so."
"I do." He hedged, placing his lips a breath from mine.
I saw his gaze go to the mess around us and he merely shook his head.
"How did we even do some of this?" I asked.
"Oh, how quickly we forget. You were the one who initiated all this. You and your talk of fifty shades."
I blushed furiously as my stare landed on his black neck tie now laying by our feet on the living room floor.
"I didn't think you'd actually tie me up." I countered. "Let alone with a tie I bought you for Christmas last year."
"You said I could choose the first thing we did and well, the tie worked for a restraint and a blindfold." He whispered, his husky tone making me go still at the memory.
"You must think I've lost it." I sighed, nervously twirling a section of hair around my finger. "I probably have."
Jacob simply lifted my chin and kissed me, his non verbal answer making me wish we had more time.
Gone was the hurried and urgent nature of before, and I trembled when his tongue met mine in a slow and sensual kiss that put a cease to some of my maddening thoughts. He pulled the sheet from my hands and pressed me to him with his sincere reply.
"You're not crazy. Not even close. We've been distant for months."
"Too long."
He nodded and I shivered from the feel of his lips on my neck as he tilted my head to the side.
"I'm open to trying new things with you. I really am. Whatever that may be, just as long as you know that I don't need it to keep the fire between us. All we need for that is each other, and I draw a firm line at some of the stuff out there. Like hitting or pain- no way in hell would I ever-"
"I know...-" I breathed in reply. "What about some of the more daring things though? Are those off limits?"
"Such as?" He hedged with amusement. "You have more in mind you'd like to try?"
"I'm far too nervous for some of it."
"Like what? I'm gonna need some kind of example here, Bells. You've read the books and I haven't so I think I'm working at a bit of a disadvantage."
"Well, there's toys, among other things."
"Sex toys?" He curiously implored, his hand slipping down to my parted thighs.
I gasped and found it hard to stay focused, as his fingers circled the spot that made all prior thought vanish from my mind completely.
"Yes." I managed, my head falling back further with every stroke of his fingertips.
"I think we do just fine without all that stuff, honey. Would you disagree, huh?"
I couldn't form words, or even try to string together a full sentence in response as another gasp left me.
Without warning, his tongue swirled around my pert nipple, and it was enough to make my legs shake and my hips to roll forward.
"Jake-"
He slid two fingers in with a barely audible growl, and I swore I saw stars fill the darkness behind my closed lids, as he curled them upward, hitting the right place over and over again.
My breath became stolen, as the delicious and intoxicating burn from before returned deep in my belly while I straddled him, pushing me forward in desperation for release.
"You feel amazing." He huskily stated, pressing me into him with a needy groan that filled the room when my bare breasts touched his blazing skin. The contact alone pulling a soft cry from me.
I was on the edge of sweet bliss, my skin heating to his as he held me close and kept me there at his mercy.
"Oh, God-"
"How do you want it this time?" He insisted.
My eyes flew open to land on his midnight gaze when he voiced this and though I tried to speak, nothing but a breathy cuss left my parted mouth.
Jacob pushed his fingers a little deeper then, his eyes watching my face as I went to pieces in his hands.
My whole body shook with a release that went on for what felt like minutes instead of seconds, and when I could take no more, I voiced what I wanted.
"It's your turn." I breathlessly told him.
My head spun when he withdrew his fingers and claimed my mouth in a heated kiss, as he lifted me carefully by the waist and slowly lowered me down onto him.
My hips rocked forward and he laid back, his hands steadying me there above him with his eyes roaming over my naked form as I found a rhythm with him.
His name fell from my lips as I rode him, my body coursing with pleasure that touched the deepest part of me.
"Bells...-shit...-" He cussed, his gaze trained on my every move there above him.
"Jacob!"
Strong hands held me in place, when my legs threatened to give out from under me.
With another roll of my hips, Jacob let out a choked gasp and came crashing over the edge with me, the two of us panting when I collapsed down onto his firm chest. He kissed the top of my head and laced his fingers through mine, kissing my inner wrist as we laid there trying to catch our breath.
"-but what if all this gets dull for you one day?" I soon questioned, my tone barely above a shallow whisper now.
Jacob stopped short at this, his lips leaving my skin as he paused and drew me up his body so we were eye level once again.
"Bella-..." He sighed, his dark gaze narrowing some in concern at my remark.
"I know it's foolish to think that way, but sometimes, I worry that it could happen. Especially with everything we've been through."
"That I could get tired of being with just you?" He disbelievingly questioned.
"I know with the imprint it's different, of course, because we're tied and-"
He shook his head before I could finish the thought and took my face in his hands.
"How long have you been worrying about this?"
"A while." I admitted.
"Is that what brought all this on?" He asked then, gesturing to the mess around us. "This sudden need for a little flare to the normal?"
"Maybe a little."
"Honey, we can try every shade of grey you want to, but none of that matters to me. You matter to me. What we have matters to me. Imprint or no imprint. Bells, I choose you... to love you-to be with you...-faithfully- every day. Not out of obligation or duty, but because I will never love anybody the way I love you. It's not possible."
"Even if there's never another baby?" I timidly asked him.
"Even then."
"You're sure?"
"I'm positive." He countered, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my forehead against his with my next admission. "I'm still scared."
"Tell me what you're scared of." He thoughtfully encouraged.
"I'm scared because I still want to try. I took my last birth control pill this morning and part of me doesn't want to refill it."
Jacob went briefly mute at this, his hold on me tightening some as he pondered my words.
"What we have is enough, honey. It really is. Our lives are full. We're blessed in so many ways."
"-but there could be another one waiting for us-..."
"Bells-"
The clear hesitancy was easy to hear in his voice, and I stopped talking then as his cell phone rang.
I moved to let him up and watched him head for the kitchen to catch it before it could go to voicemail. I could hear that it was Billy calling to let us know the kids were ready to come home. Jacob ended the call and headed my way again, his face full of worry when he reached down for my hand and helped me up from the floor with a quavering breath.
"I've loved this morning with you." He offered, kissing me once more. "-but the thought of going through that again is hard for me. We barely made it through this last time, Bella."
I nodded in understanding and swallowed down my reply as he searched for his cut offs. He dressed and I started picking up the house, my silence now deafening as I folded the many blankets and tossed the throw pillows back on the couch with a huff.
I ignored the tears that stung my eyes, and focused my attention on getting myself dressed and fixing the kids lunch before their return home. I had just finished making the last turkey sandwich when a set of arms encircled my waist.
"I'll see you when you get back." I told him.
He turned me in his arms upon hearing the emotion in my voice, and we stared at each other for a long moment before he spoke.
"I promise, we'll talk more about this tonight, alright? When the kids go to bed." He assured me.
"Okay."
He saw the emotion remain there in my glossy gaze and pulled me into a tight embrace before leaving.
"I love you. I'll be back in a bit with the kids."
My gaze followed out after him until the car disappeared from sight and all I wanted more than anything was to know he was willing to try again with me, but I feared he wasn't.
A/N: More to come tomorrow. Thank you for your reviews! Please leave another one for this update :-) Love to you all!