Lily felt scrawny arms coiling around her waist and a warm chest pressing against her back. A hooked nose huffed into her neck, tickling her. She suppressed a giggle.

"Sev!"

Lily turned around (although it was difficult, given her current position on the broom), beaming widely, ready to plant a kiss on his cheek, only to find that Severus' face showed none of the happiness she was feeling. Instead, he gestured at her to take off quickly. Lily kicked into the earth and the broom flew up in the air, taking them both away.

Lily could feel Severus leaning against her with full weight, practically using her back as a pillow. He was obviously exhausted.

"HAVE YOU EATEN TODAY?" she yelled behind at him so that he could hear her over the wind.

His nose brushed a "no" against her shoulder. Severus could feel how Lily sighed in frustration.

"DID THEY OFFER YOU NOTHING AT ST MUNGO'S?"

Instead of answering her question, he planted a kiss on Lily's shoulder blade and clutched her even tighter.

"EAT IS GOING TO BE THE FIRST THING YOU'LL DO WHEN WE GET THERE," she bellowed. She could feel him nodding and letting out a heavy sigh.

Of course they had made an attempt to feed him at St Mungo's… But Severus's post-cruciatus stomach, combined with the already existing mental issues, made it impossible for him to accept it. And now that he thought about it, he realized he hadn't had any food since the dinner before the Slytherdor ball, which had been over thirty hours ago.

Lily was holding the broom steady with her right hand and clutching Sev's arms with the other, keeping them connected on her belly because she was afraid that he would lose his balance on the broom due to the tremendous exhaustion and the occasional post-cruciatus twitches.

She could feel him yawn and loosen his grip. He was clearly falling asleep, even without his usual potion, and she couldn't blame him for it.

While her hair was whipping them both violently in the damp wind, she was thinking about whether she had ever seen Severus as defenseless and vulnerable as all those times in the past year, including the current moment… And the clear answer was that she hadn't. And it hurt her to see him like this. She would rather see that guarded, snarky, sarcastic Severus she knew than this downward tired, post-cruciatus, half-starved zombie Severus that was sleeping on her now.

It took her nearly four hours to get to the destination. When she landed right outside the Burrow, it was already dawn. Lily's shoulder blade was aching under the pressure that Sev's chin had been imposing on it all that time.

"Sev…?"

"Mhmm, yes?"

The sleepiness in his voice was so evident that she couldn't help but plant a kiss on his arm.

"We've arrived," she told him softly.

"Oh, good," he mumbled and released her poor shoulder blade from the torture. He straightened his spine and made an attempt to get off the broom, at which he failed miserably… If Lily hadn't caught him, he would've probably fallen face-first into the shallow swamp.

"Careful, Sev," she whispered, while wrapping him around his waist, supporting him. Severus looked annoyed at the necessity of it but remained silent, for which Lily was grateful. He let her take him all the way to the front door.

The door flew open the moment they stepped on the doorstep, revealing something which very much resembled a welcome team or something of that sort. There were Arthur and Molly Weasley, Charlie Weasley, little Fred and George, baby Ronald, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Albus Dumbledore and the most surprising of the whole lot was… Remus Lupin.

Before anyone had any chance to say hello, Severus drew out Lily's wand so quickly, that she had no time to react whatsoever. He pointed it at them and his eyes darkened in paranoiac worry.

"S-sev, are you - "

"Quiet," he hissed at her. "What did you say right after you saw my Dark Mark for the first time?" he asked Albus.

Albus's face was showing nothing but complete serenity when he answered:

"I said - and I still stand by it - that not all paths that lead to fame and recognition also lead to happiness."

Severus nodded in satisfaction. "Correct. Your turn."

"I have one," said Remus. "How about this… Um… What was the first thing you commented on the first time you met me?"

Severus showed him an ugly grimace. "Your nails."

"Correct," he smiled and gestured at them to come in.

"Hi, everyone," Lily said happily and led Severus into the living room, getting him seated on Arthur's armchair.

"Blimey, what happened to you?" Arthur blurted out when he saw what state Severus had been brought in.

"Lord Voldemort clearly lost one of his most promising Death Eaters last night, correct?" said Albus, who was now standing in the doorway and looking at Severus with concern.

Severus nodded in agreement. "If you mean me, by any chance, then yes."

Albus chuckled at the humbleness. "Of course I mean you, Severus. And if I understand this correctly, you can no longer be our double agent, can you?"

"Precisely," Severus sighed with a hint of annoyance and disappointment in his voice. "I am no longer as useful as I used to be. All thanks to my own thoughtlessness during the whole Slytherdor affair," he added apologetically and his black eyes shot a look at Lily, making her feel a pinch of guilt deep in her stomach.

"How did they discover your true loyalties? Surely not through legilimency?"

"No," he chuckled dryly. "The method was far more… Simple. They used a boggart on me. It transformed itself into a dementor - "

Severus wanted to finish the sentence but found himself unable to. The image of Lily suffering the dementor's kiss, leaving her empty and soulless, was still too fresh in his mind.

"And what does a dementor have to do with your loyalties?"

Severus fell silent, again shooting a look at Lily. His intense stare looked almost desperate this time. His lips parted but nothing came out. He was practically begging her to finish the sentence for him.

It took Lily a while to see what he was trying to tell her… And then she gasped.

"Oh, goodness," she whispered. "Oh, god, no."

Gently and with great care, she lifted him off the armchair and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Yes, it was splendid," he answered her with a sneer.

"Come on, Sev. You need to eat something."

"I know. I promise I will try."

Suddenly, he could feel somebody else's hand rest on his shoulder. He lifted his eyes up and saw Albus's blue gaze behind the notorious moon-shaped glasses.

"Severus," he began.

"Yes, professor?"

"Let me just tell you one important thing: You do not need to be a Death Eater to be important. Or useful, for that matter. Now, enjoy your meal and good night to you."

Severus blinked a few times, clearly perplexed, and then answered him with a stern nod.

xxx

Albus left shortly afterwards, not explaining a single thing about New Hogwarts. How typical of him, Lily thought with a bitter smile.

Severus was sitting across from her, picking at some leftovers from Molly's shepherd's pie. Lily was trying not to stare at him too much. She never really watched Severus eat, she couldn't stand watching him struggle with something so basic, so good. He did appreciate this little semblance of privacy. Looking back at his school years, he couldn't really remember eating a single meal without somebody watching him closely. People, even then, knew. Not necessarily cared. They just wanted to see if he could finish his plate. Maybe they simply wanted to see him struggle with it.

The aroma of baked cheese and minced meat made Lily's stomach gurgle in hunger. For Severus, however, it apparently posed an obstruction. He looked sick and ready to throw up any minute.

"Sev?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you can handle it?"

Severus fell silent, staring at his plate in hopelessness. The answer was clear.

"All right, um… We can try again tomorrow. I'll walk you to bed."

"Thank you."

She lifted him gently, trying not to squeeze him too much because of how sore his whole body was.

"Sorry," she whispered for the fifth time that day when Severus hissed in pain again because of her touch.

He smiled at her through the pain like a brave child at the doctor's. "I don't mind," he assured her with eyes full of love and genuine joy.

"Good," she said. "Because now we're walking… Aaaall the way to the bedroom upstairs."

In the softness of the sheets, Severus felt such relief, that he started falling asleep immediately. Lily planted a quick kiss on his forehead and then left the room to give him peace, privacy and time to properly recover.

She closed the door behind her as gently as she could and then found herself face to face with Remus, who had been waiting just outside the bedroom for her.

"Is the big bat asleep?"

Lily's eyes filled with tears so abruptly that she herself was surprised by it.

"What's the matter, Lils?"

"I just… I've never seen him this… Fragile. And I hope I never will. Never again."