Hey again! Today it's Eurovision day you all!!!! To my European friends tell me you are as much in love as I am with Israel's and Cyprus' songs too. I think twelve points go to Cyprus for me and ten to Israel. Anyway, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, the characters belong to Dick Wolf but this particular plot is all mine!
Trigger warnings: sexual context
She didn't want to go back to the apartment, she needed some fresh air, sometime with herself to process what happened only an hour ago.
After she read the papers the lawyer gave her and after telling her what proceedings needed to be made in order for her to be the owner of that account, the arrangements that had to be made with the bank and other details, she realized that she didn't have the courage to deal with it all right now.
After thanking McAllister for his help, she and Rafael left that small coffee shop and started walking towards Central Park. Midway there she stopped dead in her tracks and told him to go home alone and she'll follow in a few. He was reluctant but eventually had to back off and give his girlfriend the space she needed. She reassured him that she wasn't pushing him away but he already knew that so there was no need to explain.
Now she was standing in front of St. Thomas More's church. She hadn't realized where her feet were leading her until she was standing on the steps, contemplating wether to go inside or not.
"Can I help you?" A male voice from behind her snapped her out of her thoughts. When she turned around, she saw a black priest in his mid thirties wearing the usual black cassock.
"Uh..." she chuckled nervously. "I don't know. Are you a priest in this church?"
"As a matter of fact, I am. Father Ralf." He extended his hand and Amanda shook it firmly.
"Amanda." She said. "I just... haven't been inside of a church for quite some time now. I don't if He would want me to, honestly." She removed her hand and placed them both inside the pockets of her jacket.
"How about we go inside? It's getting a bit chilly out here." He proposed and the blonde nodded, though hesitantly.
When they walked inside the church it was empty, there wasn't one single soul inside and she felt a bit better. She probably wasn't the only one that was estranged from God.
"I wanna make a confession if you have time, father." He looked at her and nodded with a wide smile on his face.
"Bless me Father for I have sinned." She started saying once they were seated in the confessional. "It has been almost two years since my last confession. Ever since that last time I haven't set foot inside a church. So I guess that is sin number one." She chuckled, despite it being slightly inappropriate given the time and place.
"Why is that?" Father Ralf asked her.
"Things started going from bad to worse in my life and I guess I lost my faith in him. I had been praying and praying but no change. So I mistakenly thought that He had abandoned me, that He, too, felt disappointed in me." She blinked away the tears that threatened to fall from her long lashes. "I also, um..." she took a deep breath in an attempt to ease the anxiety that was slowly rising inside of her. "I also considered taking my own life. I didn't tried it though, never. I turned to self harm but I only gave in to the temptation once and never again."
"It's a good thing that you were able to control yourself. What else?" He prompted her to continue.
"Uh... I consumed a lot of alcohol, and smoked a lot of cigarettes in an attempt to relax and forget or go home and be too numb to feel his hands on my skin." She cringed in the memories. "My father... he abused me for a long time and that's why I lost my faith. I guess after a while I gave up on me, on me, on life." She let out a shaky breath and inhaled, garnering as much courage as she could to keep talking.
"You are doing good Amanda." Father Ralf encouraged her, sensing that the girl had more things to say.
"Today is my birthday and... and my mama and sister left. We had this big fight. My sister is a drug addict, it's a long story, she overdosed. I got to her in time and she will be fine but she won't go to rehab. We fought about that and I walked away from them, told them not to text or call. I don't regret saying it but I regret being so blunt and cold. What is the saying 'when your house burns down you get a clear view of the sky'? Well that's true." She chuckled again.
"What brought you here today after all this time?"
"My... my grandma passed away two weeks ago, a severe case of pneumonia. Today I turned eighteen and her lawyer called to tell me that... that she had made sure I pursue my dreams without worrying. I guess that this was a sign for me. A wake up call." She shrugged.
"Is that all?" He asked her.
"Yes father, I think that's all." She sniffled.
"May our Lord and God, Jesus Christ, through the grace and mercies of his love for humankind, forgive you all your transgressions. And I, an unworthy priest, by his power given me, forgive and absolve you from all your sins, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." He gave his absolution and they both exited the confessional.
"Come for the mass tomorrow, I think it would help you restore your faith."
"I will, thank you father Ralf." She smiled at him and left from St. Thomas More's and headed home.
"Hey." He said the minute the blonde stepped foot inside of the premises. His tone was soft and kind, like every time he was talking to her.
"Hey." She greeted him in the same tone. "Sorry for bailing out on you. I just-"
"You just needed space. It's okay, everyone needs some space here and there." He brushes it off, wanting to spare Amanda some of the guilt.
She noticed that the place was rather quiet and he turned to look at him. "Where is your mama?"
"She wanted to give us some alone time, little did she know though." He approached her and wrapped her into his arms.
"Just for a little while longer. But if it is too much for you I-" she didn't get to finish her sentence because his lips touched hers softly, stopping her.
"How many times am I gonna have to tell you that I am not in this for the sex?" He rested his forget on hers And looked into her carulean orbs. "I want this to happen when you feel ready. I want this to be magical, for both of us. And I am willing to put a ring to this." He waved his finger between their bodies and she hummed.
"You are too good to be true, you know that?" She smiled and gave him a peck on the lips. "No sex doesn't mean no fun though." She slowly started unbuttoning his shirt.
"God, you are gonna be the death of me woman." He chuckled and lead them to his room.
He next morning found them in bed, naked, limbs tangled together and a serene expression in both their faces. The sun rays breaking in through the window was the sweetest way to wake up. So warm and domestic.
She moaned softly when she felt Rafael's hand running circles in her lower back. That light touch was enough for her to get wet. He moved his hand lower and cupped one butt cheek and squeezed it, earning himself another, louder, moan from the blonde.
"Good morning." He whispered in her ear.
"Good indeed." Came the response a few seconds later, her voice husky and sleepy.
"Want me to stop? Let you go back to sleep?" His hand slowly moved to her thigh, forming circles once again.
"God, no." She muttered under her breath.
"Okay ma'am." He chuckled.
He lowered his head so it would be aligned with Amanda's well shaped breasts and took one already hard nipple between his lips, sucking lightly and pulling it with his teeth. The more he teased her like that the wetter she was becoming.
"Raf... crap." She started to say but he pulled her nipple with his teeth a little harder.
"Tell me what you need." He asked somewhat seductively.
"Lower." She manage to choke out.
He peppered with kissed her chest, moved lower to her abdomen and her lower belly. He moved an inch lower and his lips crushed against her swollen and throbbing bundle of nerves.
"Oh God." She breathed out when his warm tongue came in touch with her clit. "More."
"Mm-mhm." He hummed and the vibration sent her to cloud seven.
With his right hand he opened her folds and pushed two fingers inside of her. A few minutes later she was coming hard and she couldn't control her breathing.
"If..." she started to say, while simultaneously trying to even her breaths out. "If that's how every morning is gonna be with you... I am marrying you the minute you turn eighteen." She chuckled.
He moved his body again so they would be face to face and planted a kiss on her lips.
"I'd like that." He said.
She was caught by off guard. She meant it to come out as a joke but Rafael seemed to have taken it seriously. Why didn't she mind? Why didn't the possibility of marrying the person in front of her in such young age scared her or made her sick to her stomach?
"Do you mean that?" It came out shyly and in a nearly audible whisper.
"I told you, Amanda, I love you. I have never felt like this with anyone else. We have both had our fair share of partners. I have fallen in love before but it was nothing compared to you. Just... every time I kiss you I know I am kissing-"
"The one." She finished the sentence for him. "I feel the same way. But it's crazy, right? I mean can we?"
"Well, we don't have to get married right away but... we could have a long engagement?" It was more of a question than a statement.
"Are we seriously having this conversation?" The least this was, was surreal. It sounded like a joke, something to laugh about when the grow old.
There was her answer. When they grow old. Because it truly felt like they are going to grow old.
"I mean... okay let's take a minute here okay?" She nodded and they both took a deep breath. "In six months from now, if things are okay between us, do you wanna settle down?"
"I do." They looked at each other and laughed out loud.
"Que esta pasando-" Lucia walked into the room.
"Oh my God, mom get out!" Rafael yelled covering both his and Amanda's body with the covers.
"S-Sorry." She said and walked out within milliseconds closing the door behind her.
"Oh Lord, oh Lord, oh Lord." Amanda kept repeating those two words over and over again like a broken cassette. "That was the most embarrassing thing. Like of all times. I am not going out there, I prefer to go out from the window. I don't care if we are four stores up. It feels way safer than going out there."
"Okay, let's relax here, shall we? She probably didn't see anything." He could not even convince himself that that was true let alone the southern blonde.
"She couldn't get out of here fast enough!"
"Okay that is true." He finally admitted. "Listen, you go take a shower and get ready for church and I will... try to explain myself I guess?" She just nodded and got up ready to leave the room and go have a long cold shower to ease down the hotness of the embarrassment and her earlier climax.
When she stepped into the kitchen she was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white shirt and a blazer in hand. The sooner she could get out of the house the better.
"Hey, babe I am going for a shower too, ring me if you want me to pick you up okay?"
Her eyes widened as he passed by her leaving her a kiss on the cheek.
"You cannot leave me alone with your-" She whispered but he cut her off.
"Already gone." He said from behind her.
'You are so paying for this Barba!'
An awkward silence was spread across the room. The two women were glaring at each other but every time their gazes met, Amanda withdrew hers instantly.
"Okay, this is dumb." Lucia broke the silence. "You don't need to be embarrassed, it's not like I didn't know that you two were... intimate." She sighed and approached the younger girl who hadn't yet looked at her. "Look at me, Amanda." She said in a motherly tone and the blonde raised her eyes to look into the Lucia's brown orbs. "Rafael told me you too have been waiting. But, if you ever need to talk about it or if you need to book a doctor's appointment... just come to me okay?"
The blonde didn't know what to say so she just fell into the other woman's arms, hugging her tightly, trying to keep the tears at bay.
"Thank you, mama."
Oh la la. A lot changed in one chapter. Next chapter will fast forward to the final exam and the university acceptances (or not). Till the next chapter, have a nice day or night. If you are from Europe I wish your country all the luck!