A/N: I'm sorry for the delay in this chapter, guys. Since the last update, I caught covid and was down with that for a month and am still not fully recovered, and then my dog nearly died and had to have emergency life-saving surgery. Needless to say I have been through the ringer, but I am okay now and am happy to jump back into our journey together. Thank you for being patient with me and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

When Heroes Fall

By: Selphie Kinneas 175

Chapter 28: Little Wolf

.:.

"Wait... what?"

He didn't hear him correctly. Couldn't have. There was no way.

Link sighed, "He's gone, Ren."

Ren got to his feet in a fluster, "What? What do you mean gone? Did he go back home?"

Link glanced over his shoulder. Some of those who stood outside the inn retreated inside – they did not want to hear this conversation.

Link's solemn expression spoke volumes. Ren started to panic.

"I-I don't understand. If he went back to Ordon we can just go get him. Write him a letter. He-he-he's fine."

Silence. Link refused to look at him.

"He's fine... right?"

Ren's voice began to escalate. More friends fell back into the inn. Only Zelda and Midna remained.

Ren inched closer. His blue eyes were begging, imploring, pleading. Link at last met them and his heart shattered. His son's face was a dagger every time, but especially now. He could only wonder what Ilia would think.

"He's gone," Link emphasized. His tired eyes matched the severity of his voice.

Ren's heart started to race. He refused to accept what his father was saying. It couldn't mean what he thought. It couldn't. It just couldn't.

"He's just away, right? He's not gone," Ren shook his head, "He's not gone."

When Link averted his gaze again, Ren knew it was true. Tears built up at his lashes and his hands started to shake.

"How? Please tell me how. What happened? I-I don't understand... He was okay. Last I remember... he was okay."

Link closed his eyes and sighed. Zelda retreated into the inn. Only Midna remained.

"You..." Link tried, but his voice refused him. He turned away. Ren felt the answer in his heart.

"I... did this... didn't I?"

Link didn't answer him. That was all the answer Ren needed.

Ren staggered back, "I... I thought it was just a nightmare. It didn't feel real. I-I... I had no control..."

Link wanted to reach out to him, should have reached out to him, but he couldn't. All he could come up with to say was, "Everything will be okay."

But that made Ren angry. It felt like such a lie. Such a bold-face, outlandish lie.

"No, it won't," Ren shook his head, "Tell me what I did. Tell me... I-I..." he clutched quivering hands to his head, "I need to know the truth."

Link could only look away again. He had not the strength in any capacity to give him the explanation he deserved.

"I killed him," Ren stated when it became obvious Link would not speak the words, "He tried to reach me, didn't he? And I... I..."

He stopped. He remembered the darkness, for it still lingered within him. His panic helped it grow stronger. He felt Emeline surface again to combat it, and his thoughts returned.

"Dad," Ren's voice cracked.

Link closed his eyes at the bitter sting that word paired with that voice raced up his spine. He gathered what fragile strength he had and looked at his son. Ren's eyes drowned in sorrow buried into his, and Link felt his pain like a tidal wave.

"It's my fault Uncle Colin's gone... isn't it?" Ren whispered.

Link paused to find his own voice before replying just as hushed, "No, it's Viscen's."

Ren shook his head, "No... It's mine. It's all mine..."

In the deafening silence that followed, Link could only watch his expression. Ren's brows drew together in unspeakable pain and his tears begged to fall, but he was otherwise blank. He was bursting at the seams, doing all he had in him to remain strong and together.

"Can I... Can I see him?" Ren croaked.

Link nodded and stepped aside, glancing over his shoulder at the cemetery. Ren slunk there on his own, and Link watched him go before joining Midna at her side.

Ren's uncomfortable shoes squelched in the drying mud, and he hoped the sound wouldn't awake the dead who slept here. He kept his composure until he came to a plot and headstone that looked the newest. He approached it slowly, as if it were the edge of a cliff thousands of feet above solid ground. He caught the name on the stone and he felt the world fall away beneath his feet. Everything hit him at once and he crumbled to his knees and screamed.

Link jumped at the sound, but Midna stopped him with a tug on his hand.

"Let him grieve."

"Shouldn't I do something?" Link asked.

Midna gave him a sad look, "There's nothing you can do this time."

Ren's stomach twisted in knots. He remembered now what he had done. He led Viscen to power and the king assumed control over him. Ren had been an unwelcome guest in a body that should have been his. What else had his body done against his will? What else would he be led to do in the future? What had he done... For Din's sake what had he done.

He stared at the headstone and saw his uncle's face in his mind. He remembered hearing his voice as if it were hundreds of miles away. He stared at his own trembling hands, the hands that would dare betray him. He scratched desperately at his miserable flesh, the flesh that would dare harm those he loved. That his very bones could defy him, his muscles forsake him, his will abandon him, drove him mad. He screamed and his nails brought tiny pricks of blood to the surface. His heart flew up into his throat and he choked on the tightness. His stomach demanded he purge whatever sustenance remained. Bloodied palms trailed down his face and he wailed. His hands came down to the outsides of his shoulders and he held himself so tight his skin lost its color. He rocked himself and cared not who heard him sob in agony. He lowered his head to the dirt and slammed his fists on the ground with a heart-shattering scream.

He was disgusted by his own flesh. Repulsed by his own limbs. He wanted to break out of the prison that was a body that could not control itself. He wanted to escape the cursed form that could hurt his loved ones. He wanted to expel himself from his cage of bones. He wanted to cease to exist. Maybe if he could simply disappear then everything would go back to normal. Maybe Colin could take his place.

Colin's face in his mind splintered his world. Colin's voice in his heart ravaged his spirit. Ren's body devoured itself, internal agony spreading outward. His limbs shook and his chest ached and throbbed and stung and heaved. His skin was on fire and his heartbeat was an earthquake. His flesh was a pincushion and his lungs were a hurricane. Each moment was an eternity of torture, a hell he could never escape from, torment without resolution. It was agony to an extent he did not know was possible, and it felt as if there was no way out.

Time was a cruel thing. How strange its power to give and take. In one swift motion it could wipe away everything, yet give back just enough to overcome. How desperate the feeling of it slipping through fingers like drops of rain, quick and impossible to grasp, yet requiring an eternity to heal, slow and agonizing. The shuffled race and the ambled stroll. The shameless thief and the grand bestower. With enough of it, perhaps things could be different, could have been different, but there wasn't. It seemed there never was. Ren would come to learn time was a luxury he could not afford; a grim truth Link had come to terms with ages ago.

They let Ren grieve. There was nothing more they could do. Link refused to go back inside, staying instead at the shore of the spring, listening to Ren's wails coming from the cemetery. For hours he carried on, agonized sobs giving way to tortured screams dissolving into painful silence when he had not the strength to carry on. Then time would work its magic and he would start the cycle anew, driving Link's heart further down into the soles of his feet each time.

Link did not want Midna's company. She had asked, and he had refused. Still, she stood nearby. She knew her hero, knew he would change his mind. She watched him flinch when Ren screamed, saw him close his eyes and hold his breath until the boy again fell silent. The silence was almost worse somehow. The screams were pain manifested, agony with only one way out of the body. The silence was what was left over, the emptiness and the weakness, the numbness and the surrender. It was the pause in resignation, the acceptance in defeat, the fragile plea for respite. It was the overwhelming realization that there was nothing to be done, no fixing, no bargaining. It was the begging for release that would never come, and again he would scream.

The sun punched through the dark night and still no inclination for change was made. Link mindlessly watched the water lap against his boots, listening to his heart echo the cries of his son. No one left the inn, for they knew not what to say save that there was nothing to say. Midna, at last, approached her hero.

She said nothing, only sat beside him. He did not look at her, he did not move. His unblinking eyes never left the ripples, his ears no deafer to Ren's distant yet all-too-near sobs. Midna looked at him, her gaze never faltering. When Ren's voice cracked and fell quiet, Link remembered to breathe and closed his dry eyes.

"Talk to me," Midna whispered when the silence felt too much.

Link breathed deep but said nothing.

Midna repeated herself, "Talk to me."

Link opened his eyes but said nothing.

She grabbed his hand and sat directly in front of him, the water soaking her as she said again, "Talk to me."

Link stared at her, no expression on his face, but at last he said, "Why?"

"Because this is too much, even for you."

Link averted her gaze. Link said nothing.

"You don't have to be strong right now, but you can't shut down on me either," she gripped his hand tighter, "Talk to me."

He looked her up and down, "You're getting wet."

Midna forced a smirk, "That's a start."

Link sighed when she refused to give up, "There's nothing to say, Midna. I failed and I'll never forgive myself for it. I can't fix it this time."

"No, you can't... But you can help it get better from here. Colin wouldn't want you to give u-"

Link pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, "Please don't... Not yet."

"Okay..." Midna nodded solemnly, "How about I just be with you?"

Link ran his hands down his tired face and gave a reluctant nod. Midna moved to sit beside him, grabbed his hand, and rested her head on his shoulder. She felt him take in a deep breath and hold it. Ren's cycle began anew.

Midday came and went before Ren's phases grew more and more spread out, until, at last, he stopped altogether. No more screams came from the cemetery, and the silence over all of Kakariko was piercing. Link's skin crawled at the emptiness around them, the lack of birdsong and rustling leaves. He got to his feet and assured Midna he would be back later. She nodded, giving him the permission he desired but did not need. She knew he would be back, and she would wait for him right where he left her.

Midna understood the quiet solace the light dwellers found at the spirits' springs. She felt a peace there that she did not feel anywhere else. Still, even now she did not care for the light spirits, but she could not argue with the serenity the mere idea of their presence offered, even if they never came around to show it.

She waited some hours before she saw anyone. Still no one had left the inn. They were all too preoccupied with their own grief and ensuring they did not lose Rusl in the process. The other villagers scarcely left their homes, the ordeal with the king having scared most of them enough to leave town and the rest to lock themselves away indoors. No, the someone who came to her was who she had least expected.

"Can I... sit with you?" Ren asked with puffy eyes.

Midna's heart fluttered in surprise. She nodded, "Of course."

No words were spoken for some time. Ren watched the waterfall foam and Midna only glanced at him periodically from the side of her vision. He looked ragged, and she knew he felt even worse. His hair was a mess and his face was beet red. His hands and fingernails were slightly bloody and there were traces of it smeared across his cheeks. His nose was raw, he had heavy bags under his eyes, and he just looked so defeated. He wore clothes he had clearly gotten from the king, and she briefly feared that Viscen could at any moment get the jump on all of them. They were weak, vulnerable, and he surely knew that. She looked around nervously but saw nothing. She breathed deep, 'put that thought away,' she told herself, 'it's not important right now.'

She could feel her power radiating off of Ren, could smell the dust and metal, could see the fading burns on his hands and the remnants of yellow in his irises. She ignored the desire it sparked in her to reclaim it – she cared more for the boy it clung to, for the son of the hero she loved with all her heart.

She had expected his first words after the long drought to be surface level, a brief mention of something mundane, a placeholder for the discomfort that lingered between them. She had thought he would avoid facing the consequences of what he'd done for as long as possible, that he would beg for his loved ones' forgiveness by reminding them he was an innocent boy, by not bringing it up.

He surprised her.

"How do I come back from this?"

Midna turned to him, and he met her head on. His voice was hoarse, weak, but sincere. His tired eyes pleaded for a straightforward answer, a saving grace, a fix he knew would not be quick nor easy but still one he hoped may exist that he just couldn't see yet. Both stared, and both were silent. She could see his desperation for a truthful answer, not one covered in honey and fed on a silver spoon. His bloodshot eyes begged her for honesty and hoped beyond hope it would be attainable. He did not want an answer that would merely placate him, he wanted painful honesty.

And she was just the person to give it to him.

"I'm assuming you haven't heard the story about me and your dad during his hero-ing days, huh?"

Ren narrowed his eyes, not sure where this was going, "I've heard stories about him, about some of the stuff he did, but nothing about the two of you."

Midna pursed her lips, "Figures. Well, it's important."

She situated herself so that she was more comfortable as she gathered her thoughts.

"I was your dad's companion. All the cool stuff you've heard about is true. He did everything the stories say and more, and I was there with him through it all. I like to think I helped him through, but it didn't start out that way."

Midna's eyes locked into Ren's with sincerity, and he looked intent to listen.

"Even though I was your dad's companion, it was by no choice of his. The goddesses chose him to save the world, but I chose him as my slave. I was horrible to your dad. I didn't care about him at all, only what he could do for me. I used him in the worst ways imaginable. I pushed him to his limits and didn't give a single thought about his life. I wanted what I wanted and it didn't matter to me how I got it. Your dad was nothing but a means to an end. I almost cost your dad his life on multiple occasions," she shrugged her shoulders, "And I didn't care."

Ren furrowed his brow in confusion and hurt.

"I don't understa-"

"I was an awful person and I did awful things for my own gain. I thought only of myself. I treated your dad horribly..." she gazed off for a moment but brought herself back, "All I've tried to do since then is make up for it."

Ren looked away in thought.

"We have a lot in common," Midna offered with a sad smile, "I know what it's like to be responsible for losing someone you care about. It's a guilt that never leaves you, that haunts your every waking moment but still worms into your dreams, too. I understand taking any opportunity to fix it, to take it all back, to undo their death if you had the choice."

Ren's gaze came back to her with wetness at its brim.

"I understand what you did, thinking you could bring your mom back. It was stupid, but I can't say I wouldn't do the same thing if I really thought I had a chance. What happened after that... isn't your fault. Colin's death isn't your fault."

Ren blinked rivers down his cheeks but stayed silent. She saw her hero so clearly when she looked at this boy, but for the briefest moment she saw Ilia, and it made her chuckle.

"I hate to admit it, but I never cared much for your mom. We didn't exactly... get along the few times we were together. I was jealous of the connection she had with your dad, the history they had together, and I thought... I can't compete with that." Midna smirked, "Your mom was so many of the things I had always wanted to be - or thought I should be. She was sweet and smart and put everyone before herself, just like your dad."

Midna paused as Ren's breath hitched but he was hyper focused on Midna's every word.

"Ren, your mom loved you and your dad with all her heart, and she was selfless to the very end. She wouldn't want to see you blame yourself for anything that's happened. She would want you to be happy, more than anything in the world."

Ren's face fell to his hands and he sobbed. Midna let it linger a moment before she continued.

"Nothing I or anyone else says will fix anything that's happened. Nothing you do will fix anything that's happened. All you can do now is go forward with the intention to set your wrongs right. That's all anyone can do."

Midna let him cry, let his sniffles and ragged breaths fill the otherwise silent, stiff air between them. It wasn't desperate or uncontrolled like it had been before. It was a calculated release of a new kind of pain, the kind of pain that came from quiet acquiescence. He knew she was right. It was the same resignation that had made the screams go still.

His heart was in a knot. It squeezed into a ball and sat too tight in his throat like a whale floundering in a pond. It made it difficult to breathe, but he closed his eyes and focused and brought air into his starving lungs. He had spent too long being the victim. No longer.

"I'm so sorry," Ren looked at her with sincerity in his dull eyes, "Your power is gone because of me. Your kingdom is in ruins because of me."

Midna's heart skipped a beat. She had no idea what the extent of their visit to the Twilight Realm had consisted of.

"What happened there?"

Ren swallowed hard, "I don't entirely remember yet. I promise I will tell you if it comes to me. I know it isn't good."

Midna's jaw clenched and her eyes glazed over. She thought of her people, and she felt angry.

"Do you hate me?" Ren asked, sensing that anger.

Midna looked at him. She thought about it, really thought about it. He was the one who brought her back, who uprooted her from her nonexistent existence in the twilight. He was the one who brought her back to a love she'd spent a lifetime forgetting. He was the one who compromised her people, her kingdom, her power for his own agenda. He was the product of a different girl with the man she loved. He reminded her how insecure she still was, how jealous she had always been of his mother, how selfish and careless she had acted. His existence was an envious dagger sitting unwelcome in her chest.

Then she blinked, and she looked again. He was the one who snapped her from that nonexistent existence and showed her there was something worth living for. He was the one who reminded her of that love she'd been forgetting and showed her she didn't have to forget anymore. He was the son of the man she loved, and she saw all the best parts of him in Ren's eyes. She smiled.

"I could never hate you. Do you hate me?"

It was a genuine question. Last time she saw him, he had been furious over hearing his father profess his love to her. He likely thought of her as the woman who robbed his mother of the love she deserved, the one who doomed his mother to raise him alone and doomed him to grow up fatherless. She would understand if he said yes.

He stared at her just as she had stared at him. He thought about it, too. He did think of her as a catalyst in his and his mother's hardships. He thought of her as the one who robbed him of a family, of a father who was physically present and a mother who was mentally. But then, he realized that wasn't fair. There was no crime in loving someone, and she held no responsibility for his father's absence – that had been entirely his own decision.

Ren finally shook his head, "No, I don't."

Midna nodded once in mutual understanding. Silence lingered only a moment before Midna's anger surfaced.

"What you did was stupid. You did something foolish without thinking about how it would affect everyone else if it failed. And it did fail. I'm furious that I don't have my powers, and I'm even more furious thinking about what that absolute loser of a king did to my world, but..." she looked at him with sympathy and sighed, "I understand, and I know you feel horrible enough on your own. There's no sense in making you feel worse. You have a good heart, I'm sure it's punishing you enough."

"I'm just sorry," Ren caught his breath, "I've caused so much pain for everyone. My mom's gone because of me. Colin's gone because of me. I've messed up everything," he clenched his fists and sparks flew from his knuckles.

Midna snatched him by the wrist and held up his hand, "Be careful. Your emotion is what fuels your new power."

Ren looked at his hands and shook his head, "It's not my power. I don't know how to control it. I want nothing to do with it," he pushed his hands toward her as if she could remove them from him, "Take it back, please, I don't want to hurt anyone again."

Midna frowned. She lowered his hands back down.

"It's not that easy."

Ren sighed and turned away from her. She saw his defeat somehow reach even higher, his shoulders slump even farther, his eyes droop even lower.

"I can't take it from you..." Midna thought aloud, "But I can teach you how to use it."

Ren looked at her in pleasant shock, "Really? Will you?"

Midna's expression was serious, "I will, but... not yet. You need more time to come to terms with what you're feeling, with what you've experienced. You won't be able to control anything in the state you're in now."

Ren nodded in understanding, "I just... I want to be able to make some good out of what I've done. Maybe I can use this power to right some of my wrongs, to make a difference. Maybe I'll at last do something right. Maybe I'll use it to stop Viscen," he bit his lip in anger but kept his composure, "I'll never be able to atone for what I've done, but I'll never stop trying."

Midna smirked, "You sound just like your dad."

Ren gave a meager smile, and for a time they both were quiet. He turned from her and watched the waterfall. She listened to his breaths shorten and rasp before he again regained control of them. Midna smiled at his resilience; he was more like Link than he would ever truly know.

"You'll be alright, little wolf."

Ren's eyes shone at her words, "I finally get why you call me that."

"Oh? What gave it away?"

Ren gave her a deadpan look, "I came back and my dad was a wolf."

Midna smirked, "You don't say."

Ren couldn't help but laugh, and Midna laughed with him.

"I don't understand why though," Ren said.

"What? Why he was a wolf that time or other times?" Midna asked.

Ren's brows hiked up, "How many other times are there?"

"Well, uh," Midna looked contemplative, "Kinda hard to count the individual times. It was a big part of him when he was doing all the fancy hero stuff."

"Really?" Ren's eyes went wide, "Why a wolf?"

Midna smiled, "Well, your dad's mister big and important, you got that much, right?"

Ren nodded, "Yeah, so?"

"The goddesses like 'big and important,' put a lot of emphasis on it, make crazy rules and prophecies and things like that. Someone in the sky a long time ago said the chosen hero would appear as a divine beast, and so he did."

"I'm confused," Ren's brow furrowed, "He wasn't always a wolf though, right?"

Midna giggled, "Of course not. He is what you see, but he's a lot more of what you don't."

"I'm... still not sure I understand."

Midna looked away and then right back, still debating how in-depth she should be with him. It only took brief debating within herself to come to the conclusion of, 'why not?'

"You know why they call it the Twilight War, right?"

"Yeah," Ren nodded, a look of confidence on his young face as he had heard the stories countless times and was very familiar, "Twilight came and flooded the light. It covered Hyrule and brought monsters and war and eventually Ganondorf, who my dad defeated."

Midna looked impressed, "That's the gist. I bet you didn't know that the people of the light who got caught in the twilight were turned to spirits. They didn't know they were spirits, but it was the fate of all light dwellers who came in contact with the twilight. Except for your dad."

Ren's jaw hung just slack, "Spirits? But they weren't dead, right? They couldn't have been, because then none of them would be here."

"Right. They weren't dead, just reduced to floating balls of light," Midna motioned with her hands, "Only this big. Spirits, nothing more."

"You said except for my dad. What happened to him when he touched twilight?"

Midna smirked, "He became a wolf."

Ren's eyes went wide, a subtle, proud smile on his lips, "That's when he would turn into a wolf? So... he couldn't control it?"

"Not at first. We gained the ability to later," Midna waved her hands, "It's a long story."

Ren paused, glancing down at the water as he contemplated everything. He had always asked to hear the stories, had asked for them on repeat, had asked for new ones, had asked and asked and asked. He thought he knew everything there was to know. He was still so clueless. He wanted to understand it. He wanted to understand his father. He was all he had left.

He looked back up at her and said, "Will you tell me about it?"

"About what? How we gained the ability to later or-"

"All of it," Ren cut her off, "Will you tell me about all of it?"

Midna froze, her lips barely parted. She stared at him, the wonder in those big blue eyes warmed her heart. She glanced over her shoulder in the direction Link had left hours ago. She hoped he was okay, that he was getting the distance he needed. She hoped he would be okay with her telling his son the stories no one else could tell.

She turned back to Ren with a mischievous look, "Sure, but it's top secret. Super classified information. Can't have just anybody knowing. Got it?"

Ren nodded enthusiastically, "Got it."

Midna ran her fingers across her lips like a zipper, tightened the lock, and threw away the key. She stared at Ren and he got the hint. He ran his fingers across his lips like a zipper, tightened the lock, and threw away the key. Midna grinned.

"So, you want to know all the insider details, huh? Wanna know about your dad straight from the source?"

Ren smiled at her playfulness and sat at attention.

"Okay, little wolf. I'll tell you the whole story from the very beginning. Here's how I saw it all as the hero's companion..."

I know what you're thinking.

A/N: For those of you who have not read it yet, these last few lines lead into The Hero's Companion, but it is of course not needed to continue When Heroes Fall. The Hero's Companion is Midna's first person account of the events of What Makes a Hero, so I thought her telling Ren that story here was perfect. Just to help clarify for those unaware.

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