Twenty Nine
ALICE
She is beautiful.
Small pink lips, beautiful blue eyes, fair hair and small hands I can't stop holding.
"She's a hungry little thing," Bella steps into the room holding a coffee and a tea for me.
I watch her sit in the chair beside my hospital bed and smile down at her. She places my tea in my arms reach, before brushing a hand over my daughters head gently.
"You did an incredible job," Bella says.
"She has Jasper's nose," I stroke her cheek as she suckles on my breast.
I'm completely in love. Jasper had cried as we held her for the first time. He'd held my hand the entire labour, kissing my head, whispering words of comfort. I knew he was just as scared as I was. But the second we saw her face we knew none of it mattered. We'd do it together for her.
"Your lips too," Bella says, "has she got a name yet?"
"Yep," I smile, "she actually got you a little something. Check the front pocket off the hospital bag."
"What?" She laughs.
I watched her collect the hospital bag Jasper had packed weeks ago. He was always prepared. He would be the strength in our small family. Bella pulls out a small envelope and glances at me.
"Open it," I say.
Bella places down her coffee and does as I ask. She tears the paper trying her best to keep quiet almost. A small necklace falls into her lap. For a second Bella reads , eyes scanning the card asking her to take on an important role. She gasps loudly.
"Godmother?" She whispers shocked.
"Ella here said she wouldn't want anybody else," I smile, "her name is inspired by her godmother."
"Oh Alice," Bella tears up, hands over her mouth, taking up the necklace to study the Tiffany's heart.
"We have to ask uncle Edward too," I say, "but we wanted to ask the beautiful woman who kept us all fighting first."
"I would be honoured," Bella leans forward kissing my cheek, "I'll give it my all."
"Do you want to burp her? And have a little bit of a cuddle?" I ask.
"I'm dying for one so yes," she smiles.
She averts her eyes while I fix myself up, handing her Ella. Bella's eyes fill with adoration as she begins to pat my baby's back gently.
"I feel like I was hit by a truck," I sigh taking a deep sip of tea, "I don't think Jasper will ever want to go near my vagina again."
"I doubt that," Bella huffs a laugh, "you're a total milf."
"Am I?" I laugh.
"Yep," Jasper stalks into the room holding flowers, Edward following behind, "hottest mummy in the whole world."
He stalks over to me kissing my head, taking a seat on the edge of the bed beside me, twisting to smile at Ella. I accept the flowers and take a deep breath in smelling them.
"Thank you," I smile at him.
"Emmett and Rosalie are dying to come see her," Edward crouches down beside Bella's chair, watching her with so much love in his eyes.
"Did they sort everything out?" I ask.
"Who knows," Edward says, "I think they're unsure how to move forward."
Bella finished off burping the baby before cuddling her into her arms.
"I can't wait till this is you," I smile, "you'll make an amazing mother."
"I agree," Edward places a hand on Bella's knee, "you look so incredibly beautiful right now."
"Stop," Bella laughs.
"Your mother sent a message saying they're home," Jasper says, taking my hand in his.
My parents had arrived with us late last night. I think I'd broken my mother's hand from squeezing her so hard. They'd stayed all night taking turns cuddling their grandchild. Bella and Edward had come too but went home to get sleep, coming back only an hour after my mother and father left.
"How about your mother, Jasper?" Bella asks.
"I've sent her photos," Jasper says, "she called before to check in."
Edward shoots me a look of sympathy to which I just roll my eyes with a small smile.
Bella passes Ella over to Edward for another warm cuddle.
"She looks so small in your arms," I smile.
"She's your child. I'm shocked she's not smaller," Edward jokes, "but she'll be another little pixie to drive me crazy."
We're all so busy teasing we don't notice Ella doze off in his arms.
"He wants his own," Jasper teases, "he's natural."
"Someday," he nods, looking at Bella.
My heart warms.
"For now be Ella's godfather," I smile, "you can snuggle her until you have your very own."
"Wait huh?" Edward looks down at Ella smiling.
"We're godparents," Bella laughs.
"You too?" He looks up at her.
"Ella gave me a card," Bella smiles.
"Okay so you're the favourite? It's okay. I have time to change your mind, little Miss," Edward sways slightly looking down at his niece.
"Okay. Give them their child back," Bella sighs, "we have to go. I have work."
Edward transfers Ella carefully into Jasper's arms. After lightly kissing her head he places her into the bassinet. Once Bella and Edward leave, Jasper lies down beside me, squeezing onto the small bed.
"We did it," he says, "we're parents. I mean you did most of the work."
"It hurt so bad," I giggle, " sorry for yelling at you."
I believe I said 'fuck you for putting this into me' if I recall. He'd squeezed my hand harder.
"I'll never forget it," he looks at me, "it was all part of it. I love you for giving me her. You've truly given me more than I'd ever deserve."
"I love you too," I take his hand, "we're both the luckiest girls in the world to have you."
I couldn't wait to get out of here. To start my life with my new little family.
The first few weeks with Ella were challenging.
She hated letting us sleep, and wanted to feed at the most inconvenient times. But Jasper and I were in love with her.
"I think watching you feed her is my favourite part. It's so wholesome," Jasper says one morning, sipping his coffee in the kitchen.
I sit on the lounge rugged up in a blanket, Ella across my lap.
"Me too," I smile, "I feel so connected to her."
Jasper strolls over and leans across the back of the couch to look down at her over my shoulder.
"She smiled at me yesterday," he says.
"That was probably wind, baby," I smile back at him.
"Nope. She smiled," he kisses my temple.
We hear a knock at the door. Jasper straightens moving to answer it. It's the external door where the stairs are outside. When I hear her voice I freeze. Surely she wouldn't just show up unannounced.
"My baby boy," she shrieks, arms open wide for her son.
"Time to meet Grandma," I mutter down at Ella.
Ella curls her hands in frustration as I stop her from feeding. Thankfully she doesn't cry. Dorothy watches me from beside Jasper as I stand.
"Hi Mrs Whitlock," I say.
"Alice," she nods, "may I hold my grandchild?"
I want to shout 'fuck no. She's mine'. But I'm a mother now. I have to be mature.
"Sure," I nod.
I cross the room to her and carefully place Ella in her arms. My daughter looks up at Dorothy intrigued by the new face.
"She's beautiful, Jasper," Dorothy smiles, "she has your eyes. Little Ella."
"Thank you for coming to see her," I try, "she's been waiting patiently to meet you."
Dorothy looks up at me, eyes narrowing.
"Granny had work. Like an actual job. No daddy to fund her trip," Dorothy shoots at me.
I look to Jasper who shakes his head in anger.
"Mother. I told you last time if you want to do this you need to respect my girlfriend," Jasper says, "Alice has done a terrific job. We are happy and we want you to be too."
"I'm happy," Dorothy shrugs.
Ella looks to Jasper. It's as if she realises she's not in his or my arms. She was a clingy child. The only other arms she'd accept right now was Edward's funnily enough. Something he let everyone else know.
"I'll take her," I offer out my hands, "she needs burping. She just fed."
Dorothy hands me her back. I place her over my shoulder and begin rubbing her back.
"The house looks like a mess. Don't you clean it?" She looks around.
"Well we've both been busy," Jasper motions at Ella.
"You shouldn't have to clean," Dorothy shakes her head at him, "If you ever want her to be your wife she must make you pleased."
It wasn't even that messy.
"Maybe in 1920," I say rudely, "I'm just going to go to Bella and Rosalie's. Ella can stay here so she can't get to know your mother."
"Alice no," Jasper says, "mother please stop being so nasty or you'll need to go."
"Go? I just got here!" She shrieks.
"And you've been rude to the mother of my child since you got here. Unannounced too," Jasper scowls, "we are new parents and appreciate space."
"Then I'll go," she snaps.
"No don't," I sigh, "Jazz show your mother to the guest room."
I head to our bedroom continuing to burp our baby. Once she's finished I lay her on the bed and huff.
"She's tough work huh?" I say.
Ella looks up at me, pursing her lips.
"Don't worry. When you get a boyfriend I'll take on any crazy mother in laws," I lean over her kissing her hands, kneeling on the floor at the edge of the bed.
"She's never having a boyfriend," Jasper walks in, "absolutely never."
I look over at him and smile sadly.
"She still hates me?" I ask.
"She just doesn't get you. I told her to give you a chance," Jasper sits on the edge of the bed leaning back on his arm so he's in line with Ella, "but we both love you. Don't we Ella?"
Ella looks back and up at him as she takes hold of my hair.
"Ouch," I giggle as she begins to tug, "Ella stop."
Jasper laughs leaning forward to release her grip.
"She loves you so much," Jasper laughs, "she can't keep her hands off you."
"Cause I'm her food source and she's a little chubby girl," I smile tickling her belly.
"I need to go do some stuff for the bar at the bank," he says, "I could try to convince her to come with me?"
"Don't be silly. I can hold my own, baby," I say.
"You're perfect," he smiles and sits up, "I'll be an hour!"
"Okay," I nod.
He kisses me deeply before turning to pick up Ella. I watch him kiss her chubby cheeks before he hands her back to me.
"Drive safe," I say, "we love you."
I'd set up camp at the kitchen table. Ella in her rocker beside me on the table. She held one foot in her hand as she held a rattle in her other. I sit making some orders for the small jewellery venture I'd started online. I'd actually managed to make a bit of money. It also kept me sane between diapers and the crying.
"Alice," Dorothy makes me jump slightly.
She stands at the other side of the room arms crossed.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Do you have any coffee?" She asks.
"Oh. Yeah we do. I'll make you one. Sugar?" I stand.
"One please," she nods, moving to sit at the table across from where I had been seated.
I begin to make her coffee, grabbing myself a mug too.
"She really is beautiful," Dorothy says stroking Ella's hand softly, "you… you did a marvellous job."
"Thanks," I nod, "she's been a fairly easy baby. The first few weeks were tiring."
"Jasper was the same," she smiles fondly, "his sister however was a nightmare. She didn't let me do anything. I couldn't put her down."
I place a mug before her and nod.
"I've been an asshole to you," she wraps a hand around the mug, "I'm just scared for my son. This is huge and I've feared he wasn't ready."
"I'm not ready," I shake my head, "every day I wake up terrified I'll do something wrong. That I'll disappoint her. But I look at her little face and realise she loves me regardless."
"That feeling never fades," she says, "I've disappointed Jasper. He loves you and I just know he'll be beside you forever. But it's been bitter for me to swallow."
"So why do you have such a problem with me?" I sit down.
"I guess you're giving him something I never could. You're making him so happy. I could never fill the hole his father left. But perhaps you have brought him back that happiness he saw leave when he died," Dorothy shrugs, "when you came to see me I saw the light that went out. I'd struggled for years to bring it back. It's why I agreed to have him come here thinking he might find it again. I didn't realise it would be in the form of fatherhood for himself. I've been jealous. It was so wrong of me."
"Nothing will fill that hole," I shake my head, "but I love your son too. I want to be with him. My father is rich but I've been raised correctly. I plan to raise her the same way."
"Then she will become a remarkable woman too," Dorothy leans forward to take my hand, "I'm truly sorry. I hope you'll forgive me."
"For her sake, sure. She needs a southern loving grandma," I smile.
She laughs wholeheartedly as Jasper steps into the house. He stares at us shocked. Looking at our hands, his mother laughing, Ella studying us. For a moment he takes it in. Then a smile brighter than the sun crosses his face.
"Hey," he smiles, "how are my favourite ladies."
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