Chapter twenty-nine: Potter or Black

Remus woke up early the next morning. He opened his eyes slowly and regarded the big and empty room. His hand went automatically to the empty spot in the bed next to him. It was the first thing he did every morning since Alicia had left for Hogwarts on the first of September. And every morning he would feel a little sad again.

This morning started the same, but then he remembered that Alicia was actually in the house. He groaned into his pillow. Why did he have a habit of choosing head-strong, emotional and dramatic people to love? Wouldn't it be easier to have someone that would just read a book quietly, smiled up at him and agreed with him? Someone more like himself?

He pushed himself out of the bed, washed and got dressed. That same urge he had when he was a teenager returned as he stared at his clothes in the closet. Sirius had teased him so much about his simple, beige clothes that Remus had worn them more and more. Now he wanted to do the same thing; if only to show he was not going to listen to the two menaces in this house.

When he stepped through the door into the dining room he was fully prepared to find two mopey deviant people. He prepared his own arguments in his head for why he still knew he was right and that Alicia had made a big mistake.

What he found, however, was a quiet, slightly dishevelled Alicia sitting on the couch with a book in her hand. She was in fact reading quietly and smiling up at him when he walked in. Now if only she agreed with me.

'Morning sweetheart,' Alicia said pleasantly. She closed the book and put it on the couch. He noticed that there was a crumbled blanket and a pillow on the couch.

'Did you sleep here?' Remus asked her, slightly astounded.

She stood up and stretched. She was wearing comfortable clothes; a knitted sweater and soft trousers. When she stretched he saw a strip of skin with the corner of a scar visible. She yawned and walked over to him, barefoot.

Remus blinked himself out of staring at her right before she kissed him on his cheek. Her hair was a mess around her head. She said: 'The couch is more comfortable than you might think. I slept alright. What would you like for breakfast?'

'What oh…maybe some scrambled eggs?' Remus replied dazed.

Alicia smiled brilliantly and kissed his cheek again. 'Eggs it is.'

She turned around on her bare heels and walked into the kitchen. Remus stared after her for a moment. He had not expected her to behave like this. He had expected her to be deviant and to ignore him until she had proven her point.

On second thought, he realised that this was very clever of her. What she wanted was to stay here and not work at Hogwarts. What better way to do that than to prove herself useful in this house, so Remus would want her to stay?

He shook his head with a little smile on his face. He didn't know what to think of her behaviour. He wasn't going to make it too easy on her to be forgiven. She deserved to feel guilty for some time.

'Morning Moonshine,' Sirius said as he walked around him and clapped him on his shoulder.

Remus watched him move around the room, a pleasant smile similar to Alicia's graced his features. He sat down at the table and opened the newspaper. 'Guess what. My favourite cousin escaped from Azkaban, together with a bunch of other Death Eaters. So unoriginal.'

Remus blinked a couple of times while his brain tried to catch up. 'What?'

Sirius turned the Daily Prophet around so that Remus could read the headline.

MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN

MINISTRY FEARS BLACK IS 'RALLYING POINT' FOR OLD DEATH EATERS

'They are blaming you? Oh you know what, I'm not even surprised anymore,' he said with a deep tired sigh. His eyes focused on a list of names with photos. Bellatrix Lestrange, Sirius his cousin, was looking at him with a twisted smile on her lips.

'Well obviously I would want my batshit crazy cousin out of jail that tortured our old friends,' Sirius said a little more bitter than he sounded before. The crimes were also reported beneath the pictures, and it was a hard reminder for Remus to see the names Alice and Frank Longbottom. Suddenly he remembered the pain, the heartbreak of the last war. He remembered hearing their friends were dying. Gideon and Fabian Prewett…Marlene Mckinnon…

Before Alicia could come into the room with his eggs he had wiped the tears from his eyes. Her smile faltered when she saw their sour expressions.

'My eggs aren't that bad,' she said with a pouty face.

Sirius chuckled his darker feelings away. 'We'll be the judge of that.'

'There will probably be an emergency meeting soon,' Remus said as he accepted his plate. 'We should contact Dumbledore and ask whether he wants to come here.'

Alicia grimaced at that idea, but remained silent.

'Alicia these eggs are amazing. You can make my breakfast every day from now on,' Sirius said with a mouthful of food.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. 'In your dreams. I'm going to teach you how to properly cook a meal.'

He pointed a finger at her. 'That is not a bad idea! Moony is still complaining about my cooking skills so I might need a bit of guidance.'

Remus looked down at his eggs. They were indeed perfect and exactly how he liked them. 'I think that would be a great way to spend your time. Alicia,' he looked up at her at this point, her big green-grey eyes staring back at him, 'Are you going to attend the meetings from now on?'

She looked down at her hands that were neatly folded in her lap. She was hardly ever this quiet and insecure. Remus started to wonder if he actually preferred this to her rebellious side.

With a deep sigh she said: 'I think I shouldn't attend this first one at least. There would be a lot of angry tension. Maybe we can reconsider for the next meeting, but I think this is too soon.'

Remus allowed himself a moment to look at her. Her eyes didn't quite meet his. She was twisting a tiny braid around her finger and her bangs hung in front of her face. She was hunched in her seat and didn't look at all like the proud fearsome woman he knew she was. But this was temporary, he reminded himself. This was only the version of her that felt guilty and knew she had to make things better. Oh well, I can help her forward a bit.

Remus placed a hand over hers and softly squeezed it. She looked up to meet his eye. 'I agree. For now I think it's better if you stay upstairs, at least as long as Dumbledore is here. Then you can come down for dinner afterwards. Is that okay?'

She nodded fiercely. 'Very okay! Thank you for understanding.'

'Of course,' he said with a smile. It is way too hard to keep being angry with this wonderful woman.

She smiled back hopefully. Her eyes sparkled with joy, a stark contrast to her timid form a moment ago. She had really been worried how he would respond. But Remus knew it was unwise to let her attend a meeting so soon after her insubordination.

In the corner of his eye he spotted Sirius leaning over the table with his head resting on his palm. He had a dreamy look in his eye and asked in the middle of the silence: 'Are you two going to stare at each other all day? I thought you had a job Moony.'

Remus shook himself awake. Alicia giggled and continued to drink her tea.

'Yes! Time to go. I will see you two later tonight. Sirius will you send a letter to Dumbledore? Or else I can do it tonight…' he said quickly as he gathered his things.

'I'll handle it. And now I have someone to remind me to do the things you told me to do! You have absolutely nothing to worry about!' Sirius replied.

Remus looked at two beaming faces and decided that he had loads of things to worry about, but that he wasn't going to mention it. He just laughed and went out the door.

Being back at Grimmauld Place was wonderful. Alicia could spend the entire day making stupid jokes with Sirius, study books and practice duelling. They had started the day with writing that letter to Dumbledore, for which Alicia had made a lot of suggestions that Sirius did not use.

'Dear selfish prick. I bet you would like to talk some impressionable people into doing stuff they don't want to do, so how about seven tonight at our place?'

Sirius had snickered at all her suggestions but had decided to phrase it a bit differently.

After that they had taken some time to catch up. Alicia was so happy to have a friend around again. Someone who was happy to talk to her and listen to her. Sometimes it was hard to remember how they had met; in a dusty wreck of a house where they had both considered killing the other. And here they were, sharing stories.

Then it was grocery time for Alicia because there was nothing eatable in the house. When she returned they started on preparations for the evening and made a wonderful lunch for the both of them. There was a lot of throwing of flour and peas involved in the process.

After cleaning up the pea-and-flower-war they had tended to Buckbeak. Alicia was allowed to feed him and clean his fur.

'So is this the life you had always imagined for yourself? A twenty-year-old that is stuck in a depressing house with her best buddy the wanted criminal and her husband the werewolf,' Sirius asked when they had retired to a room in the house that was devoid of furniture. They were laying on a thick rug and staring up at the ceiling where someone had painted star constellations.

'Clearly not,' Alicia said with a chuckle. 'But I also wouldn't have thought those things would make me very happy.'

'If there wasn't a war, what would you do?' Sirius asked her.

It didn't take long for her to answer. 'Go back to Romania. With Remus and you, if you wanted to. That would be my ideal world.'

'I would love to,' he replied. 'The way you talk about it…it sounds like a better world.'

A deep sigh escaped her lips. 'At least a world without a war. I mean, people still die. By old age or by dragon related incidents. But I'd rather go down like that then by a killing curse from a pureblood-fanatic.'

Sirius nodded. 'You are so right. Burning alive is so much better than a quick death.'

Alicia moved so she could poke him in his stomach. He rolled on his side and started laughing. Now they were lying on their bellies, staring at each other. Alicia had a moment to appreciate his grey stormy eyes and his charming smile. In another life, one where she wasn't hopelessly in love with Remus, she might have fancied him.

'What did you look like when you were my age?' Alicia asked as she picked a strand of his wavy hair between her fingers. 'Covered in pimples and having a high-pitched voice I presume?'

Sirius bellowed a loud laugh. 'Nice try! When James and I were in our sixth year, every girl in the school was either team Black or team Potter.'

She raised an eyebrow. 'Meaning?'

He wiggled his eyebrows. 'Meaning which one they would rather sleep with. Or which one they had slept with.'

She chuckled. 'Yeah right! Every girl? I'm sure Remus told me that Lily didn't like James until your last year. I bet there were others too.'

'Pff. So maybe there were like four to ten girls in the school that thought themselves above us. But still! We were very desirable.'

'Hmm,' Alicia said as she looked down. 'And what about Remus?'

'He was the real mystery,' Sirius said with a vacant expression. 'He was also very handsome but he was never that kind of popular. I think it was because of his closed off behaviour and his love for homework. Oh and the beige sweaters of course.'

Alicia laughed loudly. 'I bet it were the sweaters.'

There was a little pause before Sirius said: 'You would have been team Black.'

She slapped him. 'Hell no! I'm team Moony!'

He smirked mischievously at her. 'Maybe based on personality. But purely based on looks; you would have picked me.'

'Na ah.'

'You can't say that without seeing us at that age,' Sirius said as he booped her nose with his finger.

'Alright. Let's get a picture in here then,' Alicia challenged him.

He sat up on his knees at once. 'Great idea! But before we settle this, I want to make a bet.'

'Oh no,' Alicia complained as she raised in a sitting position too. She decided to sit cross-legged.

'If you do end up finding me more attractive, and you have to be honest! Then…I want you to call Moony 'Moomy' for a week. You can't use any other word to address him except from Moomy.'

'What an absolutely terrible idea,' She said while she crossed her arms over her chest. 'And if I win, you are going to cut off all your hair.'

He yelped and grabbed his hair. 'Why would you want that?!'

'I guess you could do with a little less vanity, Mr Black,' she said with a wink.

He grumbled lowly. 'Fine. It's a deal.'

'I did not expect you to go through with it,' Alicia laughed.

He shrugged. 'Oh but I'm convinced I will win. We are not going to settle this today, however. I have a better idea, but it might take a little while.'

'To what? Find a picture? It's not that hard,' Alicia said confused.

Sirius smiled enigmatically. 'Just wait Mrs Lupin. I have a fool-proof idea. It also involves some rule-breaking. But you aren't unfamiliar with that so it shouldn't be a problem.'

'Oh hell no!' Alicia exclaimed while standing up. 'I am trying to regain Remus his trust, remember? I'm not going to do something else to get him angry at me. Like letting you out of this house.'

'How did you-,'

'Oh what else do you want? You want me to help you get out of here so you can prove your point. Sorry Padfoot, I'm not risking it.'

He looked a little defeated. Then he placed his hands on her shoulders and waited until she looked at him. 'You have some time to think it over. I was going to ask for one evening off. You and me, escaping on that dragon of yours. If you want we can even ask Remus for permission. But Alicia…' He sighed deeply. 'With that new break-out of Azkaban…the chances are rising for people to die soon. The moment that they plan an attack somewhere I will be there and I will fight with everything I've got. I'm just scared that the last year of my life will be wasted in this house. In this depression.'

Alicia had started crying as she listened to his sad confession. Sirius his eyes were glistening as well.

'Oh Sirius,' she whispered before she pulled him close to her for a hug.

'Think about it,' he said in a hoarse whisper. 'I could really use some fun.'

She pulled away from him, stood on her toes and kissed him lightly on his forehead. 'I will think about it. In the meantime we can also have fun in this house. Forget the walls and the mould and the portraits. Forget the memories. Just concentrate on me.'

His arms moved away from her body, but then he took her hand between his. It was the hand that wore her wedding ring. He studied it with a fond little smile. 'Remus showed this once to us. He said that he had gotten it from his grandfather. When his grandmother died, he had given it to Remus. Remus said he was sure there was never a girl that wanted to marry him. But if he was ever so lucky, he hoped that that girl would wear the ring with pride.'

Alicia smiled. 'I do. So much pride I couldn't stand to take it off.'

He kissed the ring. 'I'm glad he chose you.'

She tried very hard not to cry again. All she did was nod with watery eyes and a thin, happy smile on her face.

Then they both heard the sound of the front door being opened. Like two excited puppies they looked around at the same time and exclaimed: 'Moony!'