Chapter Twenty Nine:
It was daylight when Sakura slid open the door to his balcony.
She was met by Kakashi's relaxed features, a new book in his hand, no doubt erotic in nature, and he turned another page.
She stood in the silence, trying to find the 'I'm sorry' that could possibly encompass the pain she put him through – Tsunade's lecture include a whole section on Kakashi and his hourly protests/requests to be allowed to bring her back.
And, the worst part wasn't the yelling, or that Tsunade had to be woken up and ensured Sakura understood that. It wasn't the guilt trip. It wasn't the statistical lecture on nin suicides. It wasn't the battle with mental health that Sakura had to admit to losing. It wasn't even the medical admonishment for how she treated herself.
It was the truth that rang in Tsunade's words as she told her how much she had pained Kakashi.
It was the reality that slapped her that what she did to fix herself broke others.
So there wasn't an apology good enough to speak.
She hung her head slowly in the warmth of his apartment.
"That won't get you out of my turn." Kakashi's voice came, calm and comforting. An edge of a smile.
And damn it, it pulled her lips up at the corners. "But you'll have to eat something first. I don't like telling you off when there's a good chance you're hungry."
He nodded into the kitchen from his place on the sofa.
She followed his nod, unable to do anything else. On the counter, keeping warm was a bowl of homemade ramen.
Homesickness swirled around her.
Naruto was probably back by now, probably in the village and she hadn't been here for his return.
And Kakashi had cooked for her. Again.
She took it into her grasp, both hands on the bowl.
"Hm, you best sit down here, where I can keep an eye on you." She appeared in the doorway and he nodded at the coffee table next to the sofa. Numbly, she took her intended seat square on the floor next to him, dish set on the table.
"I-"
"Eat first." he reprimanded, lowering the book so it tapped the top of her head before returning it back to his sight.
The only noise in the room was the spoon's tap against the bowl and the turn of a page.
When she finished, she sat back against the sofa, eyes tilted his way.
The book jacket was in her eyeline, Sunset Seduction. She held back the eyeroll and read the blurb around where his fingers held the book steady. Usual plot of a rouge kunoichi seducing and killing all of the male nins from a small hidden village. Of course, the main male character was the only one that got away and she was chasing him down to kill him whilst he was chasing her down to flirt with her.
He turned another page and his free arm dropped low, coming across her shoulders, a firm gesture to know where she was. "Don't ever do that again." His tone was sharp, but his voice was soft.
Sakura braced herself for the rest of the speech. She just got another page turn in the quiet.
"That's it?" she asked, turning around in his arm's curl, kneeling up on the floor to see over his reading.
"Hm?"
"You're not going to tell me how reckless I was? How I could have got myself killed? How stu-"
"Do you need me to?" He lowered the novel to his chest, his eyeline to her.
"But… you…"
"Because I figured Tsunade would have given you enough for the both of us." He shrugged as best he could in his reclined position. "And you look like you already know anything I would have to add."
"You-"
"But I do need you to swear that was the last time." he added, fingers brushing through her pink hair, lifting it to read her features. "No more solo missions. You go with me, or not at all."
He watched her lips tilt at the corners, a ghost of a smile trying to be free.
"It was just this once… I needed to." She thought she needed a variety of things that could have come from that mission, but what she really needed was the space to fall apart completely. To stop putting on strips of plaster and bandaids over her wounds and hoping they would be enough.
"Hm." He dropped his hand from her hair to curl under her chin. "Tsunade put you on medical rest?"
Sakura took her gaze to her shoulder, where it was currently taped up with Tsunade's harsh application of medical healing.
"I might have pushed it too far… it might be irreparable." she admitted shyly.
"Hm."
"I know it doesn't really fit for all that happened, but I want to apologise."
"Later." he interrupted her, moving to swing his legs off the sofa.
"Lat-"
"I've been awake since 3, Sakura. Some of us require sleep."
"Gomen. I saw the light an-"
"That includes you." he interceded her apology with a hand to her good side, urging her onto her feet and towards his bedroom. She went easily, minimal resistance to his encouragements. "And remember, this… is your doing." He pushed open the bedroom door and a pack of ninken looked up suddenly.
A pack of ninken clearly banned from the right hand side of the bed where their master slept. But the left hand side, that was a mess of paws and fur.
A bark erupted and several followed in sequence until a look from Kakashi silenced them. His body moved behind her, guiding her further into the bedroom and the puppy pile. Paws and licks and wagging tails came at her.
Again, master and commander of the pack shot a stare that had them backing down, but he couldn't stop the serious tail wagging that was threating to start a localised whirlwind.
"Hi." Sakura replied, but again, it couldn't wrap up all the happiness she had for seeing them, for their infectious joy.
The clip on her uniform and weapon belt loosened and she looked down to see Kakashi's hands removing them, placing them on the dresser.
"I can go home… I don't need to."
"Sometimes." he began, his head curling to rest on her shoulder. "It's not about you." His presence was gone again and he was back by the dresser, opening the top drawer to withdraw a black standard jonin shirt. "Get changed and get into bed." The shirt was thrown at her and she caught it as it lost momentum and tried to drop to gravity's pull.
It only took her 10 minutes before she was in the middle of the bed, being absorbed into the puppy pile whilst being equally restricted from the ninken's affections by Kakashi's glare.
But his arms were around her, they were pressed body to body and everything felt right.
"I never thanked you." she whispered as they lay in the morning sunrise, their legs tangled together as she faced him.
"Hm."
"For not giving up." she continued. "I would still be at the academy if you had given in."
"About that… your class has a new teacher." He didn't want her to find out any other way.
"Tsunade said as much. Told me I needed to make a commitment."
"Hm."
"To the hospital, to the academy… or to missions."
"And?"
"I said I wanted to find a way to make all three of them work."
"Hm. Stubborn."
"And… I wanted to check with you."
"Hm."
She brushed her hand to his naked chest, the touch to get him to open his eyes, to focus on the conversation
"I want more."
"Hm." He made eye contact with her, reading her. "Demanding." He settled with.
"I want that talk…"
"Hm." And his eyes closed, shut down.
"I had a lot of time to think, and… I can be happy with just being your mission partner. But, I don't think that's all this is."
"Hm."
"I want…" Kakashi felt her presence close in around him. The warmth of her body suddenly a lot closer. The material of her borrowed shirt bundling against his skin, brushing on the edge of the mask he wore.
Her fingertips snaked under the top edge of his mask, brushing his cheek, following the strong line of his nose.
He felt the cold air on his exposed skin.
Felt her breath fan across his lips as she held herself close.
"But only if you want the same."
His eyes opened again, both of them, powerful and strong. Several moods swirled at once and just when she thought she'd stepped too far, his hands settled on her frame, slowly sealing the distance between their chests.
She could feel the pressure against her breasts with each short breath she took.
The hand at the small of her back burned a trail up her back, even over the borrowed shirt she wore.
"I want a date." he whispered.
There was a whine from several of the dogs behind them and Sakura felt a hot blush at remembering their presence.
"A date?" she repeated softly, trying to read the severity of what the words did to his stare.
"Hm." he confirmed, turning his head to nudge his nose against her neck, she naturally relaxed her head and elongated her throat for him.
"Like a… take to eat something date?" she asked, still trying to piece together his words as she felt his lips move against the sensitive skin of her neck, up to her ear. Not kisses, but just falling short of that. She could feel his breath. "…are you smelling me?"
Suddenly concerned with recalling the last time she had a full wash that wasn't in a stream (there was only so much she could do in Kakashi's bathroom sink in 10 minutes) she nudged her hands in between their faces.
"A date." he confirmed as he expertly dodged her attempts to remove him. Her hands ended up in his hair and he found he quite liked them there.
He pushed forward with his body weight and nudged her onto her back, letting him crowd over her, caging her in with his body.
Even if it did mean the dogs had to scrunch up tighter to save their stretched legs from being pinned- it was HIS bed anyway, they shouldn't even be on there.
"Why?" she asked meekly.
"It's how it's done, isn't it?" His breath tickled across her collarbone and she realised the loaned garment was exposing her shoulder, the one that wasn't patched up with bandages, the one that still felt every bit of stubble on his chin and every parting of his lips as he glided across it.
"Well, I… I mean… I guess. But I'm okay with-"
"And I guess I should get some of the good sake." he contemplated, tilting his head as he did, his hair falling to brush against her skin. She wriggled from the tickle, her small hands repositioning in his hair to hold it back, to see his face unhindered.
"For celebrating?"
"Bribing Tsunade." he corrected, finally placing a kiss to the base of her throat.
"Tsunade… what do you nee-"
"You might keep forgetting." Another kiss an inch higher, his long fingers guiding her chin higher, giving him more space. "But you are my student."
"Ex-student." she growled to the ceiling.
"And so young and impressionable."
"I was n-"
"Gossip will travel fast."
"It really doesn't need to b-"
"If we're going to do this." Another kiss to just under her ear, his tongue darting out to take the tiniest of tastes. "We'll need Tsunade's approval."
Erotica had nothing on the taste of Sakura when she was filled with want and indignation. And she was exquisite.
"You're not serious?" Sakura bit out.
"Or at least…" He licked a stripe under her chin and earned a squeal. "Forewarning for the complaints."
"Complaints?" Sakura flailed out her hands, needing to see his features to know how much of this was him joking. Part of her whispered he was 100% serious and that alarmed her a little. She'd just been chewed out by her Shishou, she wasn't going to be asking her to date her ex-sensei!
"Hm, well, you don't expect me to keep my hands off you in public when we're together, do you?"
"Oh Kami, you are such a perv." Finally wriggling free, she noted the smile lit up on his face and they both broke down in laughter. "I really thought you meant that, you know."
"Hm. I'll pick up the Sake tomorrow." he answered, finally settling back into the bedding, turning her so he could spoon against her form.
"The sake for celebrating, right? Not for bribing Tsunade…. Right?"
The silence of the bedroom didn't answer. "Kakashi." she bit out. His arms wound tighter around her as she attempted to gain an answer. "Sake for us… right?"
"One sheep, two sheep." Was his only reply.
Sakura set her teeth and jolted an elbow back into the form behind her.
"You're getting off on torturing me, aren't you?"
"Three sheep, four sheep." But the chuckle under his breath confirmed her suspicions.
She huffed out a deep breath and tried to relax into the pillows.
Slowly, as she relaxed in his grip, she realised she didn't even get a kiss.
So, if her foot kicked out in the middle of sleep, she wasn't even going to be sorry.