A/N: The Adrinette in this chapter… It's really strong
Right Person, Wrong Time
The food – oh, it was great! Delicious and juicy and tasty and so much more. She loved every bite she could get – finishing her plate before Adrien. Leaning back on her sofa and she held her stomach, sighing most blissfully. Closing her eyes to just relax.
And for a moment she was very able to forget about her fears…
"That was good…", she hummed, rubbing her belly underneath her dress, while she opened her eyes again to look up at the silence, enjoying this very moment of peace and silence.
Until she heard Adrien chuckle beside her and she turned her head to her left, to look over to him, watching, how he took his final bite, before he placed his plate on the table in front of them. He leaned over to her as well, taking hers and put it away as well.
"Good to hear! I take it, that I was very able to saturate you for tonight?"
There might have been a little hint of something else in his hushed voice, but right now Marinette was just too full to wrap her mind around it.
And somebody like Adrien wouldn't make any dirty joke, wouldn't he? He was unlike Chat Noir, who surely loved to talk about stuff like sex all day long…just to tease her when he felt like it.
Therefore she nodded without minding her second thought about his words.
"Yep – I am stuffed. It felt good, while it lasted, but now I can't take anymore…"
"It felt good, yes?", his voice was like velvet, trying to wrap around her like a warm blanket. There was a smile, maybe a smirk on his lips. She could tell. Yet, she couldn't mind it for the moment. "I definitely love to fill you…"
"Those fries were great! I loved them… And they were pretty long, weren't they? I don't like the small ones – they are mostly too hard and too crispy. And the tacos – they were really spicy~ I like the spicy stuff, you know?"
He chocked upon hearing that. Patted her knee, that was closest to him, before he stood up, reaching for the plates, while he shook his head.
"You'll be my death…", he mumbled under his breath, so quietly, that she surely wasn't supposed to hear that.
Yet she blinked, trying to comprehend his words, tried to understand their meaning.
"Why?", she voiced her confusion. "Why will I be your death? Adrien?"
"Just joking!", came it from the kitchen and she heard some clattering, when he placed the dishes in the sink. Hurriedly he added: "I'll clean the plates right now, okay?"
"No Adrien! You are my guest!"
"But I want to!"
"Adrien~"
Her voice was a warning growl, her eyebrows rising and she leaned over the armrest, ready to jump up and straight towards her kitchen, if he dared to open the tap to let water inside the sink. She didn't want his help. He shouldn't do that, after all – he had done so much already. She was the one, who took care of him – not the other way around!
But she soon found, that it sounded like she had won this fight. Heard him sigh and chuckle and she imagined him to shake his head, before he returned to her and to the living room. She moved to sit in her previous position, again and watched as he walked around the sofa to sit by her side, again, his leg brushing hers this time by accident.
Though, he stayed that way and she tried to shake it of – letting out a long breath she was holding back, while she dearly hoped, that her cheeks weren't colored too much in a bright pinkish shade.
"Thank you, Adrien…", was eventually one thing she could press between her lips, meaning more than just their shared dinner with that. But she meant it - the whole day had been special. For her, with him in it. She enjoyed her time with him. She really did. And – after all – he saved her and he didn't even know that.
And now with him here she was very able to forget her fears for a little while.
"Anytime, again!", he therefore said calmly and shrugged. "You had to be hungry. You barely ate something at your parents house and only took a bite, while we were at the Zoo. You… you work so hard throughout the day – the whole week – and I am just really worried, that you barely take a break and eat something… Or – you know – to just breath and relax…"
He was right. Marinette knew it. Her life had always been busy as hell – but now with Lady Titalee and the constant attacks on the city it was even harder to follow some kind of routine. And she lost already two pounds since last week – a thing she had to find out, when she weighted herself this morning.
There wasn't just so much time to think about food these days. She would eat, when she was hungry and something fast would always work.
Though… he shouldn't know, that her fridge was barely filled. It would worry him even more. And she didn't want Adrien to worry.
… about her…
"So… how was it at Lila's?", she asked hurriedly, wanting to change the topic once more and this was the only thing, that came into her mind. But… Urgh… she should have thought about it, before she opened her mouth!
Adrien cringed as well and a nervous hand brushed through his hair.
"Lila really does like me, doesn't she?", he said after a few moments of silence and she saw him play with a rip in his jeans by his knees, not looking up and facing her again. "I think, that it is pretty obvious right now. She bought Emma to her bed and then she kept on talking and talking of all the things we could do, to make it work… I left, when she basically asked me out on a date…"
Marinette's eyes widened and she mustered his face, painted in something like disgust and pain. His gaze seemed to be so distant. So far away. Like an old memory, that was returning to him in that very moment.
A painful one, which he hurriedly tried to push away once more, to hide it together with all his other demons.
"She… wants to go out with you?"
Lila had always liked Adrien. It had always been obvious, even back then, when they were still teenagers. And now? Well… they had a daughter together, even though she had been absolutely unplanned. She still liked Adrien, basically would jump right into a bed with him, if he offered. And Lila had threatened Marinette, perhaps since she knew, that the other woman could stand in her way. And she would do that with every other woman out there, if she needed.
And… sure - maybe she was jealous of her. Of their shared and genuine friendship… of the time, they spend together…
She had seen the video – she knew, that they had seen each other before.
He nodded, finally looking back up, again.
"After what she did… she can't believe, that I would actually want that!"
Of course. Their unwanted shared night. The reason, why Emma existed.
For a moment he looked like he made a decision. His features changing all too quickly. His hands still too nervous, while he was unable to look her in the eyes.
… until he eventually did. And there was something in his eyes, that almost broke Marinette's heart. That made her want to reach out for him, to embrace him tightly and to not let him go, until all his problems were resolved. But she held herself back.
"May… may I tell you something?"
Something heavy was in his voice and Marinette knew, that – whatever he had to say – it was important to him. Perhaps a secret, that he wanted to reveal. To her.
… and only her.
He did really trust her, didn't he? Though, sure, she would never talk about it with somebody else. Why would she? She knew better than everybody else, what it was like to have a secret and to keep it hidden to the world.
His words were save with her…
Marinette therefore nodded, smiling a calmingly and softly before she reached for his hand. Grasping his fingers as a sign, that he could on. That he could trust her. And that she wouldn't tell a soul about it.
Adrien took a deep breath, lowering his eyes shyly before he nodded to himself.
"That night… when… Lila and I had sex…" he gulped and a tiny grease formed between his brows in sorrow. "… it had been my first time".
It took Marinette a minute to comprehend his words. But finally she understood him – understood, why he would keep it a secret. For Lila had stolen so much more than his dignity and his… well… seeds.
She had stolen his virginity as well.
Judging the pained look on Adrien's features Marinette immediately understood, that he would have loved to spare himself for somebody special. Somebody he had actually cared about. Perhaps even somebody, that he loved.
The first time – lost by the deeds of a lying and calculating woman. Did Lila know that, or did she just hope to get something out of that connection? She would have loved for Adrien to stay by her side? And the child? Emma? Did Lila know, that she would get pregnant. Did she plan it perfectly? Or was this even a bigger accident, than the one she had planned?
Adrien slipped his hand out of hers, his face turning to stone. Paling, while her eyes finally widened at his words, gasping quietly.
"She just can't believe, that I would actually want to forgive her…"
"Does she know?"
"Tz… no – of course not. I don't want her to have this kind of information about me! Surely she would love to lure me into another trap with that! Perhaps she would sell such information to the press to blackmail me! I can already imagine the headline: ' Former Model Adrien Agreste unable to get laid by the age of 20! First time and it gets a girl pregnant!' Urgh… even more reporters swarming me with their stupid questions. Even more unwanted attention – hurray!"
Deep sarcasm laid in his voice and he couldn't even hide it. She wasn't used to it, but she understood him and knew he had his reasons for this kind of behavior, yet a tiny "Sorry…", escaped his lips only a moment later, before he laid his hands on his face, rubbing it tiredly.
"Don't be. You have no reason to be sorry. I… I believe it's horrible, that she could do something like that to you! The first time… it's something special and everybody should do it with somebody who they care about and who cares about them and-"
"Luka was your first, am I right?" His question came so suddenly and he cast her a shy smile, his hand reaching for hers once again. "I think it's great, that you could share that special moment with somebody you loved…"
Bashfully she brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Bit her lip, before she eventually nodded.
"Yes… yes! Luka was my first and I hope-" She wanted to ask him, if he didn't mind that. But he wouldn't. She knew that and Marinette therefore swallowed these words, again. "I believe it was a good first time. We were in love back then. And… yeah~"
She wouldn't talk with Adrien about sex now. Ever! She had enough sex talk throughout the whole week anyway – the main conversation partner had certainly been Chat Noir.
"You still love him?"
Marinette blinked. Why would Adrien want to know that? Though he surely was just curious, wasn't he? And she had to admit, that he looked pretty cute, now that he turned to her, his elbow resting on the backrest of her sofa, supporting his head while he watched her most carefully. Interested in the things she had to say. The whole time his eyes were watching her most carefully, gleaming in the light from her lamp above.
His other hand was now laying on top of hers, making her skin tingle and her cheeks blush upon realizing that.
Yet she did not dare to pull away – it was nice as long as it lasted. This kind of physical contact was all she could do. There was nothing bad about – nothing friends wouldn't do. And… yeah… she liked it…
"Luka was a pretty nice guy after all. He was kind and – heck – he could play the guitar like a young God! And of what I could say he was pretty handsome, wasn't he?"
"Adrien? Are we getting jealous?", she teased, before she could have stopped herself. But at least it made him snicker about her remark – which deepened the crimson on her cheeks even more.
And why was it starting to feel so warm all around her? On her skin and in her belly? Surely because of the good meal and because of the nice company afterwards… right?
"Perhaps?", he answered back, wiggling his eyebrows at her in an almost Chat Noir like fashion, that made her almost reach for the cushion behind her back and hit him in the face with that. "So? Care to share and answer my question?"
"No!" she finally said and rolled her eyes and with a slight grin that hang at the corners of her lips. "I do not love him like that, if you really want to know! I do love him like a brother, though. We see each other when he is in Paris. And we write every now and then. Speak on the phone. But if you really were jealous about our good relationship – then I might be able to calm you down. He is taken".
"He is?"
"Yep – and his current boyfriend is a real sweetheart! I met him once and he plays the drums in their band".
"Oh – so Luka is-"
" Bi. He had always been. I knew that, way before he came out officially. Perhaps even before Juleka knew it…"
Adrien let that sink in. She could tell, even though she was unsure on why he had wanted to talk about it in the first place. Now.
… about Luka…
Their relationship had ended a long time ago and the friendship ran deep and would always last. And… what would Luka say, if he knew, that Adrien was back in her life? She didn't tell him until this very day and… would he even mind it? Luka knew, that she had loved the teen model before. He knew, that she had these feelings – hidden away in the deepest corners of her heart. And Luka probably knew as well, that she would fall for Adrien once more when he returned to her life.
… which happened in the shortest time imaginable…
"But it is still nice to know, that you could share this important step with somebody you loved. It is something I have always wished for… but… well… this choice was taken from me".
"What about Kagami?", Marinette voiced her thoughts, before she could have stopped herself. "You two were dating, so why haven't you… you know~"
A sad smile reached his lips and nervously we scratched the back of his neck.
"Because we were too young back then…, when we first started to date. And we were basically two sheltered kids, who tried to get along in the society around us. So – dating her was really nice at that time and all but… that was all. Apart from that – do you really believe, that either her Maman, nor Gabriel would have granted us so much free time? With our stuffed schedules?" He let out a deep sigh, before he continued – his thumb absently caressing the skin of her hand. "Dating here in Paris didn't go on far that long, anyway. Remember? Only a few months later Ladybug and Chat Noir found out about Gabriel's and Nathalie's secret. And then… you know, what happened then…"
She knew. Of course… they talked about it before.
… the news had talked about it long enough and she didn't want him to relive this trauma right now. Or… ever again – for fear shone in his eyes, his breathing coming hurriedly from his lips.
He closed his eyes and she could swear, that he counted to ten under his breath.
Oh… how she wished, that she could help him with that. Help him with his visions of terror, when he was swarmed by reporters for weeks. Wished she could let the fears vanish with the snap of her finger. Wished… that she could make him forget all of it.
"We…", he started to talk once more. A little slower now, as if he wanted to make sure, that his demons wouldn't take over, again. "… tried a long distance relationship after that. With me being in London and her staying here in Paris. It was okay for about a year and it was good, while it lasted. But we never shared any physical intimacies".
" Physical intimacies?"
That phrase sounded strange in Marinette's ears and she knew, that she shouldn't have asked. She shouldn't care about the things he did with anybody else – especially when this somebody was her friend, like Kagami.
A smirk tugged on the corners of Adrien's lips and he leaned in a little closer.
"You are really sweet, Marinette… I must say, that I really like your innocence~", he purred, making her lean back, while goosebumps ran all over her body, as she heard his breathy voice. She noticed the look in his eyes – one full of sexiness and passion and it heated her skin up even more. Heck – if Chat Noir was around, he would have smelled her arousal from a mile away! "We were teenagers as well. And of course we were talking about these kind off things. And with a good cam and a good internet connection-"
She shrieked, moved that one hand, that he wasn't currently holding up to hide herself behind it, cheeks dark red by now.
He chuckled, his fingers pressing hers a little more tightly. Leaning close to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, while he pried the hand from her eyes, making her look back at him.
Adrien's smile softened and he whispered a tiny "Sorry…", once more.
But she should be the one to feel sorry about her reactions.
Sex was just such an simple topic and basically everybody around her talked about it most casually.
… she was the only one, who always freaked out and for a mere moment she recalled Chat Noir's words:
' Innocent and sweet' – that was how her leather-wearing partner saw her. And Adrien? What would he think, now, that he saw her reaction to his teasing and his words.
He was surely believing, that she was utterly prude. Like a Nun. But she wasn't – heck – she liked sex! She liked it a lot, but talking about it was just a whole different story…
"Anyway…", Adrien suddenly said, when silence started to cast its spell over the two of them. And it felt like he was coming back to a topic, that he had started a long time, ago. "… that is basically the story of the one condom, that I carry around with me. At all times. Because of Lila. Because I came into this fucking dilemma unprepared – and drunk. Because she used me, for something I didn't even wanted. Because she is the reason, that my first time was fucked up – hell, I can't remember parts of it! I surely wouldn't have minded as much, if I had spend my first time with Kagami – or somebody else, that I loved".
Marinette's eyes immediately widened and she pulled her hand away from his, now, that she heard his words and let them sink in.
And she realized, that their hand contact had started to get even more intense, his skin burning on hers, like his eyes tried to scorch her soul. She was only blinking. And her cheeks turning pale, then pink and back pale, again.
… though… there was this exciting tingle, that ran over her skin and that landed deep with in her stomach – she couldn't deny that.
"Oh?", she squeaked, unable to look in his eyes. Or his face at all. "Okay…?"
He chuckled and she believed that he was leaning in a little more. Just a little closer, barely noticeable and maybe she did imagine it in the first place.
"I just don't like the thought, that I could be tricked into another, very similar situation. You know – accidentally sleeping with a woman to find out, that I have gotten her pregnant. I don't want that. My next child will be made when I am married to the love of my life…And I'd love to get married on day. I know it's still a long way until then, but at least I found somebody, who'd I love to imagine as my wife… Well – or girlfriend for a start".
Her heart stood still for the moment. Or for two. His words and his loving gaze took her breath away.
… or his hand, that landed once more on hers, as if he wanted to mark every word with that small form of physical contact.
She knew, that it wasn't the first time tonight, that he was doing this, but… it somehow felt different now. Unlike the touch that a friend – unlike Alya or Nino - would reach out for to hold her hand, to show, that they cared.
…this, right here was a soft, yet daring touch. His thumb running over her knuckles, before her eventually pressed his fingers between hers, lacing them together.
… and she really – really – wanted to lean in. Wanted to give in. Wanted this – all of it.
But she just couldn't give in.
Instead she stood up. Running her hands through her hair, her breath coming in a shaking puff from her lips. A tumult within her has started, stronger, than any storm she knew, trying to drown her thoughts and her madly shaking heart.
She must be imagining things! But Adrien wouldn't be acting that way towards a friend, wouldn't he? Say these things. And…
… in the bakery as well. In his car… And in the Zoo and-
Marinette twirled back around, seeing him stand as well. Unsure of himself, his hands hidden away in his pockets. She hugged herself, instead. Remembering his words and actions from earlier.
… about him not minding, if the people believed they were dating – if they actually did. Of him wanting to marry her by the end of this year, that he had tried to disguise as a joke. Of him worrying about her, when she wasn't around during the Akuma attack…
… of him taking her hand in his all too often. Hugging. Tiny kisses on the cheek and forehead.
The way he had tried to lean in for a kiss, when both were sitting in his car in front of Lila's apartment – she hadn't imagined it at all!
It was too obvious for her and in that very moment this reality came crashing down to her.
"… you like me?", she gasped, shaking her head in disbelieve. "Adrien?"
His eyes widened upon realizing what she had just said. Opened his lips and closed them.
Nodded.
"Yes, Marinette… Yes, I do…"
"Is this just some kind of physical attraction? Or is it more?"
Heck – they were talking about the sex just moments ago. He told the reason on why he had a condom with him. It… all made sense to her.
Yet, in disbelieve he shook his head.
"It's more, Marinette! Really…"
He took a step in her direction. She took one back, knowing, that she would forget herself and just lunge at him to get everything, that she had wished for in the longest time.
But today had shown her – once more – that she had not the time to have a relationship. It all was difficult enough. And now with Adrien in the picture…
Though… right there and now she had everything she had ever wanted right in front of her. Standing there, his eyes pleading for her to not step away from him once more. Silently begging for her to stay right there… to accept his words. Accept his touch, his hugs, his kisses.
"Adrien…", she whispered, lowering her gaze to the floor, unable to stand his any longer.
"Marinette…" A tiny, desperate sigh followed. "… I really do like you. A lot. That's why I love to spend so much time with you. And I care for you. And… don't know… I would love to see where this could be taking us…"
He was there. Right there in front of her. The tips of his fingers brushing her sides, slowly and tenderly, coming around her back to hug her loosely, while her mind, body and heart were still too distracted with their conflicts.
"I… I can't…", she mumbled in defeat. Her eyes closed tightly and her hands lingered on his chest, keeping some distance between them.
"Why?"
He felt, that she was holding herself back. He knew, that she wanted to give in. He was aware, that she was feeling the same. They both felt this connection. "I'll protect you from the reporters. And I sure as hell will protect you from the Akumas! And… I just want to make you feel really happy. You deserve to be happy, Marinette…"
His soft grip on her heart started to get stronger. Wanting to take it from her.
… to make it his.
Though… it had always belonged to him, ever since they first met.
"… why, Marinette?"
Because she was Ladybug!, she wanted to scream, to make him understand the fucking dilemma, that she was in. And she had to be the one, who would need to protect him and everybody else. She had duties. And she had her jobs… and her parents… and… the Kwamis…
She was hesitant, knowing, that he would not mind all of that… and he would respect her secrets. Understand them, would not push to reveal them…
But he was the one, who hoped for the very best, when she hadn't given him an answer, yet. Leaning closer, closing his eyes as well, brushing his nose past hers. His arms tightened around her and her chest pressed closer to hers, trapping her hands between them and-
Her finger blocked his way.
She was barely able to move, but she had to do it – had to find the strength in herself.
"… This is not the right time…", she whispered with a tiny voice, strong enough to not give in to all her cravings. "…right person, wrong time…"
… maybe – a small voice in the back of her mind whispered – when she and Chat Noir had found Lady Titalee and defeated her. Maybe… then they could try…
" Right person?", her repeated as a low murmur and the sound of his voice send chills down her spine.
He leaned away a little, both of their eyes falling on the others face and both knew it took all their willpower and strength to not lean back in.
And Adrien was the one to smile, nodding a little.
"… right person…", he repeated again, more hopeful this time. One of his hands left her back, coming up to softly caress her cheek, brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, before it landed in the back of her head. Holding her gently, leaning in to press his lips softly on her forehead. Lingering there for a second longer than usually.
As a sign of a promise between them.
Marinette let him do that. Not pulling back, relaxing and enjoying his touch in every way possible. Inhaling all of it through every pore and into every vein. Needing it. Loving it.
Hoping, that it was enough until the next time, when they found each other in this kind of embrace.
… if there was a next time at all…
After all – how long was Adrien willing to wait for her? How long would it be, until he lost his interest in her?
… and what if this interest was purely there, because he needed her – as some guide for all thing regarding Emma and children and fatherhood.
What if…
No! She called in her mind, her breath taken away by the sheer, genuine smile on his lips – that very smile, that burned in her heart with about a Million degrees. For he surely wouldn't smile that way, if he didn't mean the words he had previously said.
… if his feelings weren't true and lasting.
He liked her.
He really did.
And Adrien wouldn't push her – to make her decision. For her to kiss him and to be in a relationship. To sleep with him…
He was willing to wait…
And this hope gave her a little bit of her strength back. To look with a hopeful glance into the future. To have something personal she would love to fight for.
… for them…
A/N: I basically had two versions of this chapter – one where they were not confessing their attraction for the other and then this one. Why did I chose this one, you may ask? Why not leaving both in the dark a little longer?
Simple.
They are adults. Both had loved before and I believe at a certain point you can't be that that blind anymore to see somebody else's attraction. Marinette was sensing it before, but tried to convince herself, that she was imagining things, whereas Adrien goes for her in a quiet offensive way. He likes her – he had lost so much time with being away for ten years and his life before has sucked. He senses, that both their bruised souls need each other – to be balanced and to be happy. I could go on for much, much longer on why he seeks a relationship (with the love of his life), while Marinette stays away from it, but this is a topic of an later chapter.
Also – one thing from my side to correct: In last chapters teaser I have written 'The story behind that one condom in his purse'. Mistake! Don't you dare to transport a condom in your purse! It can get warped in there, it is not safe. If you sit down on your purse (when you have it in the back pocket of your trousers and jeans) it also can get too warm. So it's safest – if your carry around a single condom – to use something as protection, like a small metallic box (there are some bonbons out there, that some in those). Somebody as booksmart as Adrien would know that – and he is absolutely save now:D So – thank you Gechen over on AO3 for pointing that mistake out! (seriously, I shouldn't write stuff that late to avoid these mistakes x.x)
So… What else do we have… Luka being Bi here? I get the vibes from him. I really do love him in the series and I totally hope, that he gets to happy with somebody, that deserves him! He is a great, loving character and I do hope to see more of him in the future (also Viperion is just gorgeous!)
Soooooo…
Next chapter: Three hugs and a declaration of war…