IMPORTANT: There was a change made on the previous' chapter ending. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ THE ENDING OF CHAPTER 28, since I've changed it. I'm sorry but I just wasn't satisfied with how that ended... I feel like I just wanted to upload quickly so I ended up posting the first thing that came to my mind, even if it wasn't the right thing for this part of the story. So please go and re-read that - I only changed the very ending.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one and please let me know what you think.
Of course I don't own Harry Potter.
"Why did I say no? I wanted to say yes!"
"You did the right thing." He swallowed, some traces of discomfort still lingering to his voice.
She sat next to him with her face red and boiling, eyes irritated and filled with tears and a poor white handkerchief with her initials on it that he seriously doubted she'd want to keep after… this. He swore he had never seen so much saliva, tears and water come off her mouth, eyes and nose accordingly. It reminded him of second year's Herbology class when they had seen those ugly Mandrakes. At least those mandrakes weren't determined to rest her head on his now not so stiff shoulder every now and then.
He sighed, making a mental note (once again), to get her to talk to Jane and solve whatever problems she thought they had or else he would have to get used to having most of his nice shirts wet and sloppy. However, he doubted that he could ever go back from being Natalia Yaxley's walking breathing journal.
"Stop crying"
"I can't!" she let out in a half muffled cry, and it sort of sounded like she was suffocating.
And he believed her. How could he not after witnessing her draining her body out of tears for the last forty minutes in which they had been together. They were supposed to be at Transfigurations and it was likely that when they turned to their next class, if she ever stopped crying, they'd be greeted with a small parchment notifying them of their detention. Not that he cared about detention at this point - his first one in six years, but he had tried using it as a reason to convince her not to drag him along with her to her room – another first, by the way, since he had never been inside the girls' dormitory.
"Did I just ruin my life?"
"Of course not!"
"Then why does it feel like I did? I love him and I turned him down. I can feel him already forgetting me"
"Don't be silly, Nat" he chided her, but his voice was soft and filled with understanding. "You were smart." He said in an odd voice, trying to supress a certain feeling that even if he had let out, Natalia wouldn't have noticed. With his free hand, he moved the hair off her eyes, and carefully put it behind her ear "Perhaps you do love him… but it's not good for you. Saying yes to him is turning away from your family, your friends, your life. Or, always hiding away, seeing each other in private places… That's no life to live."
"I think I'd rather live like that" He could hear her voice calming down. Perhaps it was the effect of his own peaceful tone which felt like it was far away.
"I doubt that" he smiled sadly "And besides… someday, soon, someone else might come along and… you'll be grateful you said no today"
"I wish I could love you"
He looked down, with a confused frown which slowly turned into an amused one.
"Huh?"
"You're good"
He let out a humourless chuckle, taking his eyes off her and allowing himself to rest his head over hers, as she rested her cheek over his shoulder. Never in his life had he allowed such physical intimacy with any woman before – not even his mother, since she never really took care of him.
"Me too" he said.
Eventually, she did stop crying.
All it took for her to be allowed to stay in bed for the rest of the day was a made up story about a stomach-ache that Madam Pomfrey, upon seeing her deplorable state, was kind enough to back up – in all seriousness, she probably thought Hippolytus had broken her heart just then and felt bad for the girl. That lie also got her and Hippolytus off the hook; managing to avoid detention.
Not wanting to raise unwanted attention from either Jane or her brother, who knew she never got any sort of stomach aches, she didn't dare extend that lie for any longer than just that day, so the next morning she was at the Great Hall for breakfast, barely able to swallow a thing, but knowing she'd have to get through the whole day with him near.
She swore they had never looked at each other as much as they did that month before the summer holidays, nor with such intensity. Whenever she rose her gaze during breakfast, he seemed to be looking at her, and if he was, instead of looking away, she'd hold his stare intensively, ignoring everything else around her until one of them would get pulled away by one of their friends. In class too, either sitting together or away, they'd have the longest and most intense conversations with each other through their eyes. Still, no words were exchanged between them.
She thought once, a week before the school year was officially over, that he'd talk to her. She was waiting for her brother after the Quidditch's final, a Slytherin vs Gryffindor that had resulted on the victory of the lions – normally, after a game she wouldn't have dreamed of going anywhere near her brother, since he'd not only smell and be covered in dirt and sweat, but he'd also prefer to spend time with his teammates; this time, given the result, the match's importance and the tough year Simon had experienced, she knew she would be the only person he'd tolerate having around. So she waited in the hallway that connected the dressing rooms, all by herself as Jane had gone off to congratulate her fake boyfriend and join him in one of those parties Natalia once again had refused to attend, when he walked by. It was just the two of them – he had obviously not expected to find her there, and she was sure of it by the way in which his smile disappeared off his face when he realized it was her standing at the other end of the hallway. As it was usual for the two of them at that point, they stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, and Natalia swore she saw his mouth trembled, unsure of speaking. No matter how hard she tried denying it afterwards, the crashed hope that resulted in him not doing it and walking away lasted her for the rest of the day.
The train ride back home was the most quiet she had ever had in all her years. At the beginning it had been Jane, Hippolytus and herself – they talked mostly about the wedding, but Jane kept mostly to herself, as she had been doing so for the last couple of weeks, and so did Natalia. At one point, poor little Jane Abbott exploded, almost shouting at Natalia: "Can I know what your problem is?"
The sprout somehow made Natalia angry at her best friend. She was angry at her for being happy while she wasn't, and she was also angry because all these months had passed and Jane hadn't figured out Natalia's secret, which meant she couldn't' talk to her about how badly she was hurting because the boy she loved had broken her heart. Of course it wasn't Jane's fault; if anything, it was her own fault, she should've told her, but so many things had happened… and it was much easier to forget about him the less people knew about it.
"What's your problem? " Was her response.
"Me? You're the one that ignores and doesn't tell me anything!"
"Oh, please. As if you stopped talking about Potter for a second to listen to me"
Jane opened and closed her mouth, before she replied: "You're jealous"
"Of what?!"
"Of James! You suddenly don't have me at the reach of you hand and you're jealous"
"Please, Jane, don't make me laugh." She said, with a voice filled with bitterness, and a desire to hurt. Many times had she used that tone, but never to her "You're not in a relationship, quit fooling yourself. You want him to love you so desperately that you seem to have forgotten he's only with you for his own convenience. It's sad"
There was silence after that rant. Natalia and Jane looked at each other with rage in their eyes. Hippolytus suddenly wished he was allowed to perform apparition.
Jane's voice, lowered down to her usual tone for her following words, but there was an iciness in them that wasn't present in those before: "Well, at least I have something. What do you have?"
"Leave"
"Like I was going to stay"
Harshly grabbing her book and jacket, Jane Abbott left the compartment without looking back, a raging expression on her face that most people had never seen before. Probably, if someone were to give her a mirror, she wouldn't be able to recognize herself right then. If she hadn't been so angry, Natalia would've been surprised too.
Hippolytus didn't know how many minutes after such a fight had to pass before it was appropriate to say anything, but he supposed 'never' was the right answer. It was ironic, considering he despised talking and often complained about Natalia's excessive fondness for it… now he really wanted to say something, anything that could help dissipate that awkward atmosphere.
Hoping that soon her eagerness to speak would beat her anger, he waited for Natalia to say something first, but when minutes passed and she didn't, he could only frown, knowing he'd have to be the one to talk.
"That was something"
If looks could kill…
"And if you agree with her you're welcome to leave too"
She looked at him in a defiant way, but he only sighed, rolling his eyes and opening his book again, clearly staying.
Of course he could see how all of that argument was unfair on Jane and anyone who hadn't known about Natalia's tearful last month would've been inclined to indeed leave the compartment, agreeing with that stereotype that said all girls were dramatic. And yes, she was dramatic, but she was also hurt and Jane's words and actions, although unintentional, seemed to remind her of how miserable she was. Besides, he did think Jane chose a bad time to stand up for herself - she knew how anxious Natalia was about seeing her family again, couldn't Jane have waited to resolve their issues until after?
Even if he did leave, who was he supposed to go to? He didn't think Potter and his friends would've taken him so merrily. Just like Natalia, his only friend in the whole express was right there in that compartment - they were stuck with each other.
For the first time in his life, he was able to read through a whole book while on the express back home. Before, the constant talking and teasing provided by both the twins was enough of a distraction for him to always have a still unfinished book to get to at home. Although it was nice to find out what Artemius Agrippa meant by 'Self-composing potions', he found himself missing the interruptions, especially because of the reasons why the compartment was now half empty and those remaining were not their usual talkative selves. Every time he'd look up from his book to check on her, he'd see the same picture: she with her eyes glued at the window, with a hand either to her chin or cheek and with a small frown on her forehead. He felt compelled to say something to ease her mind but nothing seemed appropriate, and it also didn't feel like she'd have listened to him anyway.
It wasn't until they entered London until he cleared up his throat to finally say something. After all, she was a girl, and she was Natalia, of course she'd appreciate have some nice words thrown her way just when she felt like the whole universe hated her.
"She'll come to her senses, you know that, right?"
"Huh? Who will?"
"Jane." He sighed, closing his book and putting it inside of his open trunk, which sat over the seat, right next to him "She's probably just feeling a bit left out… You were used to sharing everything and now she must know she's missing out on something… don't worry too much about it"
"I don't care about her"
He rolled his eyes. There wasn't enough time him to have an argument with her and come out victorious out of it.
"Anyway, shouldn't you start putting your things away?"
Natalia looked down at the various magazines, chocolate boxes, clothes and scarves splattered around the floor and seats. They had been testing out which colours went better with each other's complexions before the big fight, and her mood hadn't allowed her to worry about cleaning out the mess afterwards.
"Help me?"
Once again, Hippolytus rolled his eyes, but like a good puppy got up from his seat to put Natalia's suitcase down to then start helping her pick up her numerous belongings in complete silence.
When they were done and the train's speed began to diminish, she stood in front of him, looking at him with a helpless expression that he had rarely seen before. He guessed she was terrified to go down and face her family.
"Will you visit?"
"I'll be there for the wedding"
"No, after. Stay for like a week"
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
"You know I can't"
"Why not? You've stayed with us for every summer holiday since first year!" she squeaked, translating into her face how upset and frustrated his answer made her – in hoping, perhaps, to change his mind that way. He didn't think so.
He sighed, turning around so he would no longer have to face her, pretending to be too occupied closing his trunk.
"Your brother wouldn't appreciate me being there"
"Who cares about Simon! I would appreciate you there. Hippolytus, I need you there!"
He sighed, and bracing himself with patience, he turned her way once again, knowing he had extended the trunk excuse long enough for her to get frustrated at him once again and snap over it in addition to what she was already nagging him about.
Putting a hand over her shoulder and feeling as if he was talking to a five year old, he said: "We can see each other at Diagon Alley. Perhaps I can talk to my parents and they'll invite you for an afternoon"
Instead of bringing a bit of comfort, those words seemed to have enlightened a furious rage into her eyes.
"When are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Simon?"
He really didn't know what to say. All that came out of his mouth was a stuttering "I"
"Really, what is so secretive that I cannot know? I tell you everything. Don't you trust me?"
And he wanted to give an answer and say yes, he did trust her, despite her big mouth and her love for gossip, she was perhaps the only person with whom he'd consider sharing his secret. If there was anyone in the castle who would understand him, that'd be her.
But she was angry and unstable and as he had already stated, there was not enough time for the two of them to talk about anything too extensive. So he said nothing and the silence infuriated her maybe just as much as Jane's raw words had a few hours before.
When they left the compartment, contrary to what he thought, she did say goodbye – it was a harsh and cold tone and it he'd have almost preferred it If she said nothing.
Jane's ride back home hadn't been exactly optimal, either.
As expected, she had practically run to James' compartment with only her light jacket on her hand, decided she'd pick the rest of the stuff after Natalia left the train. If she spent another second in her presence, Jane was scared of how she'd react because in that day, she was not behaving like her usual self and she couldn't bring herself to care about it.
Hadn't she been so mad, she'd have perhaps felt a bit self-conscious about being the only girl in that compartment, the only outsider, since the marauders tended to travel together and there was usually not much space for anyone else.
She had the courtesy to ask if it'd be okay for her to travel with them, hoping the answer was yes, because she had no idea where she'd go if they refused, not looking at the possibility of riding with the first years with too much fondness. But of course James said yes – that was James she was talking about, he was sweet and a good friend, he even said that Jane joining them would be 'awesome'. Remus Lupin, who had been relegated from his prefect duties for the trip had even moved his books so she could sit next to him – a sweet gesture that made her smile at him. Peter Pettigrew just nodded a bunch of times, so she guessed that meant yes. Finally, Sirius Black, of whose answer she was the most worried about simply shrugged, barely lifting his eyes from the muggle magazine he was holding.
James began a conversation by telling her of each of the boy's plans for the holidays, which of course included many weekend hang outs at his own place, and Jane took advantage of the easy-going conversation to finally calm herself down.
However, she was just amidst tempering when Sirius Black suddenly opened his mouth, putting her on edge again.
"So why are you here with us and not there with her?"
The little bastard wasn't even interested in the reason, Jane thought. Because if he were, he'd at least make the effort to sit up straight like the rest of them, instead of having the whole of his body over the seat in front of her, with his feet hanging on the side.
"Who's her?"
He rolled his eyes, lifting them from the magazine and looking at her as if she was stupid. In his defence, it was a stupid question.
"Well, Yaxley, of course" his tone also indicated he thought her to be very stupid.
Instinctively, Jane looked around, seizing whether or not anyone would come to her defence but soon realized that no one would, because Black wasn't actually insulting her or messing with her, he was asking a very valid question. A question with an answer that appeared to interest everyone, since they were all looking at her expectantly.
Unsure of how to even begin to explain the whole thing without seeming too pathetic or revealing too much, she let out what she found easiest to say: "We're not friends anymore"
"What, did you two have a fight about which one looked better in pink?" Now he was mocking her, well, mocking the two of them.
They didn't say it then, but both of them were thinking that Natalia Yaxley would never engage in a discussion about who wore pink better. She just assumed it was her and would not listen otherwise – and to be fair, it did look cute on her.
"No, I told her she was selfish and jealous and she said her share of things as well"
That got him to put down his magazine and finally look at her, as if he suddenly cared.
Jane wanted to roll her eyes. Boy could be noisier than girls.
"Why did you say that?"
"Because it's true? She hasn't been acting like a friend recently and she attacked me today when I brought it up. Someone needed to say it to her face"
To her surprise, Sirius Black rolled his eyes aggressively, putting his legs down and sitting like the rest of them.
"I'm not sure you want those things thrown to your face by your best friend"
"Excuse me?" Jane had to raise a brow when she noticed the disapproving tone.
"If James ever said something like that to me I'd hex him"
"I-
"And besides, what kind of a friend are you? Maybe there's a reason why she has been acting off, haven't you thought about that?"
Everyone in the room was in complete shock.
Not that she was expecting a reprimand from her behaviour by anyone, if anything she knew people would side with her, but the fact that not only was she getting it but also from the least likely of people seemed crazy to her.
Instead of shutting her down, the attack seemed to make excuses flow out of her mouth like water in a tumultuous and sloppy way "Well, yes she's a bit nervous about her parents but still-
"Jane, don't' get all worked up" Said James, side-eyeing his best friend with caution "He's just trying to mess with you"
Peter, although completely oblivious to who they were even talking about, nodded eagerly. It did sound like Sirius to side with someone else just to mess with another person and he liked James new girlfriend, she was nice to him, so he wanted to make sure she understood that Sirius was rude like that and that she probably wasn't wrong.
"Yes… I'm sure you didn't mean anything bad "Remus added, offering a small smile her way, but turning his eyes to Sirius, eyeing him with suspicion.
Sirius Black stood up, rolling his eyes and grabbing his magazine again. Jane guessed he had realized that no one was backing him up on his attack on her.
"Whatever" was the last thing he said before he walked away.
"Where's he going?" asked she with worry.
The worry wasn't directed at him, no. She never cared about Sirius Black, he had always been rude to her friends and herself, and now after his little number, which proved he truly despised her, he could've stayed in Scotland for all she cared. No, she was worried about the rest of them blaming her for driving their long old friend away – because in a way, she did feel guilty, althought she couldn't see what exactly she could've done or said not to get such a reaction from him.
"Don't stress about it. He does that sometimes… mess with people because he's bored" James smiled, and it seemed pretty genuine. Still, there was still a frown on his forehead, but she guessed that had more to do with Sirius' odd attitude than with herself. "He's probably off with some girl or someone else."
The rest of the ride was fine.
She got plenty to talk about with Remus and James, and Sirius's name wasn't mentioned again and she barely thought of him again until he came back a few minutes before arrival to pick up his luggage and get off the train along with the rest of his friends.
Hugging her own frame with both arms, the blonde girl looked around at the station, scared of whoever she'd find there waiting for her. No option seemed right – if her parents were there, as they usually accustomed, then she'd have to face them and their indifference towards her, and that if she was lucky enough to get just indifference; if they were there and had settled on sending their elf again, that meant they truly had move on from caring about her and that those two months at home were going to be some long ones.
Perhaps she should've waited for Simon at her compartment –he had been supposed to stop by to pick up her truck, anyway, but she had preferred to leave quick enough not to stare at Hippolytus for too long because she was afraid that the more time she spent with him, the more she'd realize going all defensive on him out of all people wasn't a good idea. Honestly, he not sharing that secret with her was a little annoying, but up until that day she hadn't cared that much about it – perhaps if it hadn't been brought up just after she had gotten into a massive fight with her best friend (and she feared that once again, she was the bad witch in that one), she'd have never brought it up again, at least not seriously.
But what was done was done and Natalia Yaxley had managed to piss off her parents, friends and the boy she loved just in a span of three months. She wondered if there was still people around that she could possible offend and if that was the case, how long it would take her to make them hate her, as if seemed to be the norm these days
Just as she heard Simon's muffled complain from behind her , which happened to be the same as every other year, about the amount of things she brought back and how she could at least pretend to help carry it, since those were her own things; she saw another blonde head, not quite as tall, waiting just a few meters away from them, resting against one of the walls.
"Sebastian?"
Her voice sounded like that of a little kid who just got selected by their Hogwarts house of choice and Simon was able to hear it while he stood behind her with both their trunks at his feet and a couple other little suitcases Natalia had left for him to pick up.
Opening his arms, the older boy smiled as he lifted her up her feet and sprung her around perhaps more times that he was able to do that without losing a little bit of balance. Still, despite their sloppy ending, they were laughing once the two of them were back on the ground.
"Here's my little sister"
Some people looked their way, smiling with fondness because it was such an adorable sight. Simon felt like he wanted to barf – in fact, his face showed that as he approached the pair, while dragging the luggage behind him.
"Here, let me help you with that, Si" said Sebastian, pulling out his wand and lifting both trunks with it.
Smiling once again, as the realization that it was actually him there, Natalia rested her cheek against his shoulder and pulled her body closer to one of the sides of his own, wrapping her arms around one of his arms, sort of in a half hug.
"I'm so happy you're here!"
"Where are mother and father?"
Natalia thought it was rude, that his first words towards their sibling had been those and not a 'thank your' or 'hello', but she could use the information, so she didn't tell him off.
Sebastian, likewise, didn't seem to mind all that much either.
"Father's had some urgent meeting at the ministry and mother was showing Raoul and Anais the stables. They were going to send Lula, figured you two were grown enough not to need mommy and papa to pick you up" he teased, leaning his mocking face to his sister as they walked out of the station.
However, for a joke, it was bad. Especially if taking into account none of them had ever called Petra Yaxley mommy.
"Funny of you to say." She rolled her eyes "They picked you up until your last year"
"Well, aren't you glad I'm here anyway?"
"You know I am" she smiled fondly.
"What about you?" he asked, turning around to his brother, who for some reason, decided to walk behind them.
He must have smiled or something, Natalia guessed, because there was not an audible answer coming from him. She didn't think anything of it, Simon wasn't a talkative person by nature, and when he was tired that just got worst. Besides, she was too busy feeling relieved it had been Sebastian the one that picked them up.
At home, the elf helped get her trunk and belongings back into her room and she commanded for it to prepare a hot tub for later. Sebastian had gone off to check on his fiancée – something which Natalia took some pleasure to see didn't thrill him on the least, if one had to judge by his tone. Simon, by his part, decided to follow Natalia's example, and settle his things before meeting any of his parents or other guests.
Unlike her twin, she wasn't planning on joining everyone else anytime soon. In fact, she was looking forwards to spend most of the day in her own chambers; the entirety of it, if she could get away with it. For the first time in her life, she felt as if she was an outsider in her own home, and her room was probably the only safe heaven she'd encounter. She was even willing to starve a little; there were always the elves who could bring some cake after midnight.
Sure, she had Simon and Sebastian who still loved her and who she hadn't vexed lately, but they each had their own share of problems; for her twin, it was the cause, and for Sebastian, it was his soon to be in laws – which were another cause on their own. And even if they hadn't been as busy, the people who actually could stand her were widely outnumbered by those who probably wanted to fly her off to Russia.
"Mistress Natalia?" Said Lulu's thin voice from one side of the room, where she was emptying the trunk full of clothes that Natalia had brought back from Hogwarts.
"What is it?" Said her careless voice as she tried on her many perfumes which she hadn't been able to take to Hogwarts with her before. It always bothered her greatly how she was limited on the amount of belongings she could take. Who was Dumbledore to say she only needed five bottles of perfume and not seventeen, which was the total number of those she owned?
"Lulu thinks Master Simon misplaced his sweater with the Mistress's garments…can mistress Natalia see if this belongs to her or if Lulu should put it back with her brother's things?"
Turning around with condescendence, because she had more important things to do over supervising her unpacking, Natalia still had a perfume bottle on her hand when she saw the fabric that Lulu held so carefully in her stretched hands for her to see.
In that moment, Natalia's eyes widened even more than Lulu's.
"Lulu, that's mine!" she cried.
Matilda, who had been tingling her tail around Natalia's legs was almost ran over by her owner when with speed and desperation, she ran towards the wide eyed elf, to take away the piece of clothing from her grey hands.
As if it wasn't obvious by her reaction, the sweater wasn't hers – or Simon's, for that matter. Oh no, it was his. She had forgotten she still had it and unknowingly it had travelled all the way from Scotland in the very bottom of her trunk, under dozens of dresses and skirts with tones much brighter than its basic black. Had she known it was there, would she have given it back to its owner or gotten rid of it? She highly doubted it. Ever since she had gotten her hands to it she seemed remiss to give it up – and now, completely lonely and hopeless, she saw in it proof that someone had actually cared enough for her at least once, even if it hadn't worked in the long run.
Emotional aspect aside, Natalia knew she had been lucky to be in her room when Lulu organized her things. Had she not been there, it was likely the elf would've taken the item straight to her brother's door, oblivious to the fact that it's size was half of Simon's and things could've turned very ugly for Natalia. If she was already a pariah for her family now, who knew what could've become of her if they were to find out she had clothes of others on her possession, male clothes. She still remembered how vexed Simon had gotten when he thought she was having a thing with someone in the castle and she surely didn't want to arouse such hostilities again – especially not now that there wasn't anything going on anymore; she wasn't getting the cake.
Fortunately, house elves were silly little creatures, or so she thought. Lulu said nothing more on the subject and attributed her mistress' erratic behaviour to a thing of the moment, because her mistress did yell at her and get angry every once in a while.
After having hidden the item in one of drawers where she kept her winter clothes, Natalia decided that she needed some fresh air. If she stayed in that room now, having seen that, she'd probably start crying again and she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop it now with all the new things that were going on in her life.
"Lulu, have you gotten my bathtub ready?"
"Yes, mistress!" Yelled the little elf cheerfully "Lulu just finished"
"Well, I'm not going to have it now, you make a new one later. I'll be at the pool. The Delgranges are not there, are they?" she said as she leaned against her window needlessly, since her view towards the old mossy brick pool was very limited, and she could only see the beginning of it.
"No, Misstress Natalia" said Lulu, who came to her side speedily "Lulu heard Mrs. Delgrange say that she didn't like the water."
"Good. Do take my towel" she said, smiling at the creature and patting its started messing up with her just neatly folded clothes to look for her white bathers.
She heard muffled words and cringed, aware that her momentary peace was over. Looking up, she saw a blurry blonde head attached to a neck which was leaning down to look right above her head – well, at least it was one of her brothers, probably Simon, judging by the lack of curls. He was kneeling down and it didn't seem like he was going to move for the meantime, so after she let out what was left of air in her lungs, producing a few bubbles that flew right up to her brother's face.
With her foot pressing to the ground, she pushed herself up, grabbing on the borders of the pool with the tips of her fingers and recovering the air. Then, she looked up with squinting eyes, because the last rays of sun for the day were still intense enough, and saw that he was looking at her with slight annoyance.
"What did you say?"
"She wants a word with you" he repeated.
He must've read it on her face that she was preparing for another dive underwater, this time without returning for air later, because the minute Natalia let go of the border, she felt one of his hand grab on her wrist. She rolled her eyes, but wasn't surprised – even if she had gone through with her plan, he was likely to jump into the pool and get her out himself if that meant he'd waste less of his time to get her to do what she was supposed to.
"She's at the study" he informed before walking away, not even offering his help to get her out of the water.
With effort, Natalia pulled herself out of the pool, and saw him enter the house, so she couldn't yell at him for not even handling her the towel – so of course she made a mental note to tell him off about it later, that is, if she was still breathing after that meeting with her mother.
After running the towel around her body swiftly, with difficulty, she passed her arms through the satin sleeves of the rub she had taken with her, her skin not dry enough for it to pass smoothly. She picked up her sandals and placed them under her armpits.
Despite her unwillingness to go and despite the many bad ideas she had thought of and followed during the last couple of months, she knew keeping Petra Yaxley waiting when she was already vexed at her could possibly be the worst one. So she walked barefoot through the grass, enjoying the warmness it provided – it was perhaps a bit late to be at the pool, and her wet and semi covered body could definitely feel that.
When she entered the house, cooler than the outside, she regretted having dumped the towel on her way there, over the grass – despite how wet the red material was, it would've still been nice to have something to cover her shoulders with.
And as if to prove that Merlin was indeed invested on making her life impossible, the study, which was located next to the stairs that lead to her bathroom, had its door wide open, and Petra Yaxley had a wonderful view of what was going on outside of it. Perhaps if she hadn't been so shocked to see her mother's face staring right at her, she could've gone to her room and change, pretending she hadn't seen her mother there.
"Close the door" she informed her in her usual cold tone.
Feeling like the smallest thing, Natalia walked towards her mother, dripping water as she took each step, since her hair had absorbed most of the pool's content.
As she looked into her mother's eyes, which were dark and cold, she could see how everything she had done that day after getting home had been a terrible course of action. Wouldn't it had been better to meet her mother in front of the Frenchs just after getting there, where witnesses could be there to prevent any drastic harm so she could later on go off and disappear? If her mother got worked up with her over nothing, why had she given her so many reasons to hex her arse?
She waited for her mother to say something but Petra Yaxley took her sweet time staring at her, inspecting her, disapproving of her. It was a thing she always did – every single time Natalia made it back home from Hogwarts, she'd summit herself to the scrutinizing glare of Petra Yaxley of which only bad things could result. After she was finished, she never mentioned anything concrete – at least she had that delicacy, but the hint of disapproval that hid behind her following gestures and comments was powerful enough to notify Natalia of her mother's final thoughts; she would've preferred Petra to actually say something, at least then she could've gotten the pity it'd have produced on her father or brothers. This time, the look of disgust that impregnated the matriarch's lips gave her a clear message of how much serious her anger at her was now than it had ever been before.
"You will make yourself presentable and greet our guests before dinner, which you will also be attending, and enjoy, of course. If they ask, you'll say studying held you back from visiting them during Easter – they will probably be able to tell you need that. Is that understood?"
Her head moved up and down twice, slowly, as she thought of how pathetic she looked while doing it. Hadn't she rejoiced on the fact she had stood up to these sort of orders just over a month ago? She had felt so strong, so powerful – guess she was still a little girl. How easy it had been to feel that way when she had been with him.
"Is that all?" she brought herself to ask. Fortunately, her voice didn't break and while confident, it didn't strike as condescending to her mother.
Without looking at her, her mother nodded.
Mrs. Delgrange's fondness for talking was if anything, increased by the proximity of the wedding and Natalia, who was placed at her right, couldn't do anything but nod and smile. She'd have liked to at least turn her face and engage in conversation with any of her brothers, or at least ignore the woman, but she could feel her mother's gaze constantly over her; especially when the old French witch would mention about how 'desole!' she was that Natalia had missed their Easter party; and how many times she liked mentioning that.
Her father had returned from work just a few minutes earlier, before the all got to sit, and she could easily see how he tried to ignore her – funny thing, it was usually her father the one to give her attention and her mother the one to pretend to be daughterless. He had hugged Simon and even patted his cheek, making a few minutes of small talk; then, when he had no choice but to look at her, because she had stood next to her twin on purpose to get their first interaction over with, he had given her a nod and asked if she had a good trip.
She wasn't sure of how to feel regarding her father. Of course she knew he was still angry, or else he'd have written or sent something to her during the last few weeks, but she had expected his anger would die the second he actually saw her. That was her papa, he didn't get angry at her – she could do the craziest, most stupid things and he always came up with excuses for her behaviour, always defending her… she started fearing perhaps those days were over.
Eponine, as a result of being finding everybody else's conversations boring and too difficult to comprehend, had also directed her focus and words to her soon to be sister in law. Upon finding out Natalia spoke flawless French,
"So, Natali, do you have a date for the wedding?"
"No"
"Any boyfriends at school, cherie?" added Mrs. Delgrange, charmed by the introduced subject.
"No, rien"
"Ah, yes. I imagine it must be difficult for you to find one" she said in her most condescending tone, which in French, made things even worst.
Natalia raised an eyebrow, not able to keep a gasp from leaving her mouth and look at Mrs. Delgrange as if she wanted to rip her head off. Not even her mother's scrutinizing eyes could keep from giving an honest reaction. What was that supposed to mean? Was it a physical insult or simply one directed at her personality? Or both? Either way, she didn't like it one bit.
Especially because it seemed to be correct. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have spent the whole month feeling miserable the second she remembered something the two of them used to do, or a special quirk of his which she wasn't sure why she could remember. If Mrs. Delgrange were wrong, Sirius Black would've gotten down on his knees and said 'Natalia Yaxley, I'm in love with you' that afternoon at the brooms closet, and things would've ended very differently from how they did.
On her left, she felt her brother chuckle at her expense.
Luckily for her, she was still entitled to be rude to Simon, so she stomped on his foot, releasing part of her anger with both him and Mrs. Delgrange in the process. If one had to guide oneself based on the colour on his cheeks, it was safe to say that it hurt.
"Did you have many boyfriends at Beauxbatons, Eponine?"
"Oh, no" Mrs. Delgrange laughed, interrupting whatever it was that her daughter planned to say "She always had many suitors, showering her in presents, isn't that right, Raoul?"
Mr. Delgrange didn't even remove his eyes from his own conversation with Sebastian and Bruno, throwing a sharp nod which his wife translated to a confirmation.
To her surprise, she saw Eponine blush in front of her, as she took a small bite of her food, decided to ignore her mother's story about that one time one boy had owled sixteen white roses – Eponine's favourites, for her 16th birthday.
She wasn't sure whereas or not to attribute it to Mrs. Delgrange's comments, but Eponine's mood changed after that conversation. She had withdrawn to herself, and it was lucky that no one felt inclined to talk to her at all during the dinner, because Natalia doubted she'd have been able to answer. She wasn't complaining, at least this way Natalia only had to worry about her mother's sharp tongue and not two.
Despite her initial belief that dinner would never end, it did, and by nine thirty she found herself sitting on her bed, with both legs hanging from it and looking absolutely drained. Perhaps instead of going to the pool, she should've taken a nap instead - that way she'd have saved herself some of that reprimand.
Analysing her situation, things weren't looking too good. Her father wouldn't even look at her; her mother wouldn't take her eyes off her; both brother's were too busy to pay her any mind – and if they did, there was no way on earth she could begin to explain the source of all her problems; she no longer had a best friend, nor whatever sort of friend Hippolytus was supposed to be; no one loved her, and after the wedding was over, she'd have to share a house with Miss. Eponine Delgrange permanently. Was she really doomed to spend her summer in a house without allies and with no friends to take her in?
That night, when she finally went to sleep, she clunged to her stuffed animals, a habit she hadn't done ever since she was twelve and had forced herself to break it due to her age. Best thing that could happen was that her parents finally found her a proper wizard to marry, at least then she'd know she belonged somewhere.