I Am Never Going To Shop For Waterbeds.
(Probably because I don't have the money for it.)
~_~
"Chapter 17 - WE SHOP FOR WATER BEDS" Chris frowned as he continued reading.
It was Annabeth's idea.
"Well, then it must've been a good idea." Thalia said. "It was." Grover agreed.
She loaded us into the back of a Vegas taxi ... told the driver, "Los Angeles, please."
Percy turned to Annabeth. "But what abou the money?" "You'll see." Annabeth smiled at him. Sure, the Percy from her time was more handsome, but the ten-year-old Percy was cuter.
The cabbie chewed his cigar ... "You accept casino debit cards?" Annabeth asked.
"Oh." Percy muttered. Obviously they would use the debit card.
He shrugged. "Some of 'em. ... His meter machine started rattling. The lights flashed. Finally an infinity symbol came up next to the dollar sign.
"Oh. My. Gods!" Leo exclaimed. "With that card you'd be richer than all the millionaires and billionaires of the world put together!"
"Believe me Leo, wealth isn't everything." Hazel said, and Piper nodded in agreement.
"NO AMOUNT OF MONEY EVER BOUGHT A SECOND OF TIME" the audio device on Travis's forehead quoted. (Marvel reference!)
For some reason, Travis had decided to keep the audio device on his forehead and not get it removed. He probably liked it.
The cigar fell out ... "Where to in Los Angeles... uh, Your Highness?"
"That's going to catch her attention." Percy muttered. Annie glared at him but didn't argue. He was probably speaking the truth. Annabeth fondly ruffled his hair.
"The Santa Monica Pier." ... I could tell she liked the "Your Highness" thing.
"Of course sje did." Thalia snorted.
"Get us there fast, and you can keep the change."
Maybe she shouldn't have told him that. ... the whole way through the Mojave Desert.
On the road, we had plenty of time to talk. I told Annabeth and Grover about my latest dream, ... The servant had called the monster in the pit something other than "my lord" ... some special name or title...
"The Silent One?" Annabeth suggested. "The Rich One? Both of those are nicknames for Hades."
"Maybe ..." I said, though neither sounded quite right.
...
Maybe they thought we had retrieved the bolt."
"But if we had retrieved the bolt we wouldn't be going to Hades." Percy pondered on the theory. "But Hades doesn't know that. He could assume you were going there to threaten him with the bolt, probably to release your mother, or something like that..." Athena pointed out.
Percy's eyebrows furrowed. "So Hades thinks we have the bolt, but we don't. And we were thinking Hades has the bolt. So, where is the bolt actually?"
"Dude, stop playing Sherlock Holmes. The answers are right there, in the book. Let's continue reading." Leo said.
I wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She looked pale.
"But if I'd already retrieved the bolt," I said, "why would I be traveling to the Underworld?"
"To threaten Hades," Grover suggested. ... into getting your mom back."
"Just like I said." Athena said.
I whistled. "You have evil thoughts for a goat." ... "But the thing in the pit said it was waiting for two items," I said. "If the master bolt is one, what's the other?"
"What if the Furies are looking for this second item?!" Percy and Annie exclaimed at the same time, then flushed. Leo wolf-whistled.
Grover shook his head, ... she knew my next question, and was silently willing me not to ask it.
"That won't stop him from asking." Thalia shook her head.
"You have an idea what might be in that pit, don't you?" ...... No. It has to be Hades."
"Yes. It has to be Hades." Zeus agreed.
Wasteland rolled by. ... letters were floating around.
"That's so irritating and frustrating." Annabeth agreed.
The more I thought ... something even more dangerous.
"Wow...his gut instincts are really...accurate..." Thalia muttered. "That's one of the reasons he has survived so long." Annabeth mused. "Yeah, and another reason being you." Thalia teased.
"Why, thank you." Annabeth replied.
The problem was: we were hurtling toward the Underworld at ninety-five miles an hour, ... Annabeth assured me. "You saw spirits of the dead, Percy. There's only one place that could be. We're doing the right thing."
"See? The daughter of Athena agrees." Zeus said to no one in particular, trying to reassure himself more than the others.
She tried to boost our morale ... I'd done that enough times.
"We believe you." Nico mused. The other demigods nodded in agreement, and Percy shrunk behind Annie as Athena glared at him.
The cab sped west. ... it reminded me of Echidna's reptilian voice.
Several people winced.
At sunset, the taxi dropped us at the beach in Santa Monica. ...
Grover, Annabeth, and I walked down to the edge of the surf.
"What now?" Annabeth asked.
"Now, you get into your home turf." Poseidon smiled widely.
The Pacific was turning gold in the setting sun. ... How could I be the son of someone that powerful?
"You are. And it's nothing to be afraid of." Poseidon said. "It's a good thing he is wary of his powers. It keeps him from becoming arrogant like other heroes." Annabeth said.
I stepped into the surf...I kept walking, up to my waist, then my chest.
"I hate it when he does that, though he rarely does that anymore." Annabeth muttered. "You hate it when my I, -I mean my future self walks into the surf?" Percy asked with raised eyebrows. "No. I hate it when he doesn't answer me. He didn't even answer me, simply kept walking. Though he doesn't ignore me like that anymore."
She called after me, "You know how polluted that water is? ... my head went under.
"The toxicity won't affect him. The water would instead make him almost invulnerable to such small things like toxicity and pollution."
I held my breath ... inhale water.
"You'll get used to it within one or two more tries." Poseidon spoke. "Will you please stopspeaking and interrupting unnecessarily?!" Athena asked angrily. Poseidon scowled and opened his mouth for a witty retort, but Cris continued reading.
Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I gasped. Sure enough, I could breathe normally. ... Sliding along beside me was a five-foot-long mako shark.
"Whoa!" Percy whoa-ed.
But the thing wasn't attacking. It was nuzzling me. ... The shark carried me down into the darkness. It deposited me at the edge of the ocean proper, where the sand bank dropped off into a huge chasm. It was like ... the void was right there.
Thalia, Jason, Piper, Leo and Nico shuddered at the thought of that. Thalia because of her fear of heights. Nico because it reminded him of Tartarus and the others because they had their own share of bad experiences with the place.
The surface shimmered maybe a hundred and fifty feet above. ... I could sink straight to the bottom of the Pacific.
"No limits" Poseidon confirmed.
Then I saw something glimmering in the darkness below, ... A woman's voice, like my mother's, called: "Percy Jackson."
As she got closer, ... I hardly noticed the stallion-sized sea horse she was riding.
"Hippocampi." Annabeth breathed with a smile.
She dismounted. ... The underwater lady smiled at me. "You've come far, Percy Jackson. Well done."
I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I bowed. "You're the woman who spoke to me in the Mississippi River. ... "If my father is so interested in me," I said, "why isn't he here? Why doesn't he speak to me?"
"Because the laws forbid it." Poseidon shook his head sadly.
A cold current rose out of the depths.
"Do not judge the Lord of the Sea too harshly," the Nereid told me. ... Therefore take these, and when you are in need, smash a pearl at your feet."
"What will happen?" ... what belongs to the sea will always return to the sea."
"Well, that was insightful." Leo muttered sarcastically. "They never give a straight answer to us demigods." Jason agreed. "What do you mean ?" Zeus asked. The demigods just shook their heads.
"What about the warning?" ... Hades feeds on doubt and hopelessness.
"She didn't need to tell him that." Annabeth shook her head. "He always does what he feels is correct. He always does what his heart tells him to."
He will trick you if he can, ... "You must listen to your heart."
"Really. They have to make it all mysterious and philosophical and stuff." Grover muttered.
She became a speck of glowing green, ... I wanted to see the court of Poseidon.
"You will get to see the court later." Annabeth assured Percy.
But I looked up at the sunset darkening on the surface. ... . "No gift comes without a price."
"Well, if it doesn't come for free, it's technically not a gift, it's payment. Right?" Frank asked. Nobody replied.
"They were free."
"No." She shook her head. "'There is no such thing as a free lunch.' That's an ancient Greek saying that translated pretty well into American. There will be a price. You wait."
On that happy thought, we turned our backs on the sea. ..."You remind me of somebody I saw on TV," he told me. "You a child actor or something?"
"This is sick, dude. You even get to be famous." Leo whistled.
"Uh ... I'm a stunt double ... ... looking for DOA. Nobody seemed to know where it was. It didn't appear in the phone book.
"Of course nobody knows where it is. If people knew where it is, it would lead to disaster. I'd like to see how you manage to get into the Underworld. Perhaps I will make it easy for you..." Hades mused.
Twice, we ducked into alleys to avoid cop cars.
... My stepson took everything I cared about. My wife ... my Camaro ... I-I'm sorry. I have trouble talking about it."
The temperature in the room started rising furiously.
"There you have it, America." Barbara Walters turned to the camera. ... When we come back, we chat with a leading child psychologist. Stay tuned, America."
"Yep. He's a brainwashed victim of a frightening new cult." Annie said sarcastically.
"Careful their, Annie. It seems Percy's sarcasm is growing up to you." Nico teased.
Annie flushed bright red and stuck her tongue out at Nico.
"Percy's definitely growing upto her. Otherwise she wouldn't have replied like that." Chris muttered.
"C'mon," Grover told me. ...L.A. wasn't like that. It was spread out, chaotic, ... and strange and difficult to navigate, too.
Ares didn't understand whether he should grin or scowl. He decided to scowl, because it came more naturally.
I didn't know how we were ever going to find the entrance to the Underworld ... we hurried passed the entrance of an alley, a voice from the darkness said, "Hey, you."
Like an idiot, I stopped.
"Atleast you realized you were being an idiot." Nico murmured.
Before I knew it, we were surrounded. ... rich brats playing at being bad boys.
All the demigods scowled. Almost every demigod had had that experience. It wasn't exactly good.
Instinctively, I uncapped Riptide.
"So I wasn't the first mortal to experience your sword." Rachel mused.
When the sword ... He looked down. "What the ..."
"That was the first time I had wished someone were a monster. Normal mortals are even worse." Annabeth said.
I figured I had about three seconds before his shock turned to anger. "Run!" I screamed ... The sign above the door said something like CRSTUY'S WATRE BDE ALPACE.
"Crusty's Water Bed Palace?" Grover translated.
It didn't sound like a place I'd ever go except in an emergency, but this definitely qualified.
"It's a trap." Hermes mentioned the obvious. "I hate that dude. He always wants his customers to be exactly 6 feet tall. Don't know why he's so obsessed with the heights..." he added. The other demigods frowned.
We burst through the doors, ... "I think we lost them," Grover panted.
A voice behind us boomed, ... He had gray, leathery skin, thick-lidded eyes, and a cold, reptilian smile.
"Definitely a monster." Leo said.
He moved toward us slowly, ... The silver chains around his neck-I couldn't even count them.
"I'm Crusty," he said, ... resisted the urge to say, Yes, you are.
"Dude you are sarcastic even in the face of danger and death." Travis told Percy, who grinned.
"Especially in the face of danger and death." Annabeth added.
"Sorry to barge in," I told him. ... Say, you want to look at a water bed?"
"The dude's got some strategy for business." Apollo mused.
I was about to say No, ... steered me deeper into the showroom.
"Note to self: don't let anyone steer you into showrooms." Percy muttered a bit pale.
There was every kind of water bed ... "Million-hand massage!" Grover cried, and dove in. "Oh, you guys! This is cool."
Several gods and demigods shook their heads at Grover dramatically as he blushed.
"Hmm," Crusty said, stroking his leathery chin. "Almost, almost."
"Almost what?" I asked.
He looked at Annabeth. "Do me a favor and try this one over here, honey. Might fit."
Annabeth said, "But what-"
He patted her reassuringly on the shoulder and led her over to the Safari Deluxe model with teakwood lions carved into the frame and a leopard-patterned comforter. When Annabeth didn't want to lie down, Crusty pushed her.
"Oh, no... No, no, no..." Athena paled. "You need to be more alert, Annabeth!"
"I was inexperienced backthen." Annabeth explained. "Sluggish because I stayed in the safety of Camp for five years. Kinda forgot how vigilant you have to be out in the mortal world. But I got better with time and experience." She shrugged.
"Hey!" she protested.
Crusty snapped his fingers. "Ergo!"
Ropes sprang from the sides of the bed, lashing around Annabeth, holding her to the mattress.
Grover tried to get up, but ropes sprang from his black-satin bed, too, and lashed him down.
"N-not c-c-cool!" he yelled, his voice vibrating from the million-hand massage. "N-not c-cool a-at all!"
"How did you save them ?" Leo asked Percy with incredulity.
"He can't fight the giant..." Hazel bit her lip worriedly.
The giant looked at Annabeth, ...
"Let my friends go."
"Oh, sure I will. ... Your friends are too short. Got to make them fit."
"So that's what Hermes meant." Piper muttered.
"Oh!" Jason snapped his fingers. "I remember him now! Theseus killed him using strength."
Then Jason looked at Percy with a worried look. "But I don't think you are as strong as Theseus...".
"Can't stand imperfect measurements," Crusty muttered. "Ergo!"
"That giant is nuts. Imperfect measurements." Coach Hedge snorted. "Just give him a Chuck Norris kick! Or whack him in the head with a baseball bat! Who cares about measurements?!"
"Measurements are important, Coach." Leo frowned. "Correct measurements make machines work. Imperfect measurements mean start all over again. Perfect measurements are very important."
"Measurements can't save you from monsters." Frank argued with a frown.
"But still, measurements are important. Measurements in buildings and artefacts." Annie supplied.
"Measurements for amount of chemicals to be put in a medicine." Will added. "Measurements are kinda important."
Nico opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off by Thalia, who groaned. "Are we seriously arguing over this?! We have much more important things to do!"
"Yes! Much more important things to do !Like appreciating Apollo's awesome singing skills, for instance." Apollo suggested.
Artemis whacked him on the head, then glared at (almost) everyone in the room, daring them to utter a word about the importance of measurements and Apollo's singing.
The reading continued.
A new set of ropes leaped out from the top and bottom ..., pulling my friends from both ends.
Grover and Annabeth winced as the remembered that.
"So that's why you were taller than Percy for the next two summers." Thalia wondered.
"That, and because puberty hit him only after 14. And I had been training at Camp since I was seven." Annabeth said.
"Don't worry," Crusty told me, "These are stretching jobs. ... Your real name's not Crusty, is it?" I asked.
"You need to be faster." Athena murmured.
"Legally, it's Procrustes," he admitted.
"The Stretcher," I said. ... "But who can pronounce Procrustes? ... Now 'Crusty,' anybody can say that."
"You're right. It's got a good ring to it."
"That was so frustrating! We were being stretched to our deaths and he was simply talking about the merits of a name!" Grover remembered with a green face.
His eyes lit up. "You think so?"
"Oh, absolutely," I said.... "Percy!" Annabeth yelled. ... Don't mind her," I told Procrustes. "She's impossible."
"Excuse me?!" Annie yelled at Percy. He stumbled away and ducked behind Annabeth, then poked his head out from behind her and gave Annie a sheepish grin. Annie just shook her head and rolled her eyes.
The giant laughed. "All my customers are. ... brought out a huge double-bladed brass axe. He said, "I just center the subject ... lop off whatever hangs over on either end."
"Ah," I said, ... "Sensible."
"Yep. Definitely sensible." Leo said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"I'm so glad ... intelligent customer!"
The ropes were really stretching ... Grover made gurgling sounds, like a strangled goose.
The Grover and Annabeth in real too were pale, even though were not being stretched.
"That was a very close call. I hated Percy for letting us stretch to our deaths, just like that..." Annabeth said.
"So, Crusty ..." ... this one really have dynamic stabilizers to stop wave motion?"
"You're wasting time! You'll get them killed!" Hermes yelled with horror.
"Patience is the key to success." Apollo said dramatically, holding his hands up as if he were blessing someone, as if he were a wise old saint.
"Thank you, Lord Phoebus Apollonius. I will remember that the next time somebody is being stretched to their deaths." Percy said sarcastically.
Annie gasped. "You knew his full title name?"
"Of course! I am so awesome! Everyone knows my name!" Apollo spread his hands out as if he were some great hero and winked at Annie. Annie gagged.
Percy glared at Apollo when no one was looking. Apollo decided not to wink at Annie ever again. He had heard the type of pranks Percy could pull, and he didn't like y
the idea of having toilet water up his nose.
"Absolutely. Try ... would it work even for a big guy like you? No waves at all?"
"Oh." Athena said lowly. "Trickery. Good."
"Guaranteed."
"No way."
"Way."
"Show me."
He sat down ... "No waves. See?"
I snapped my fingers. "Ergo."
A few demigods whooped and cheered and pulled Percy out from behind Annabeth and clapped him on the back. Percy gave them a shy grin. "Oh, look at him! He's so uncomfortable with all the attention!" Hazel cooed.
Ropes lashed around Crusty ...
"Hey!" he yelled.
"Now lets check if he fits. Maybe he will need a few fixes here and there." Leo said, rubbing his hands together and grinning evilly. Piper smacked him on the head. Just the usual.
"Center him just right," I said. ... If he was a monster, he deserved to turn into dust for a while.
"Ah, he's not exactly merciful to those who dont deserve it." Grover said, nodding his head.
"He sometimes is. Dont you remember Polyphemus?" Annabeth asked.
"Yeah...but Polyphemus was unarmed and helpless and defeated...so..." Grover remembered.
"That doesnt change the monstrous nature." Annabeth said.
"Wait! You are talking about the Polyphemus?" Jason asked. "You mean Percy...defeated the worst and most dangerous cyclops of all?"
"Oh, you have no idea!" Travis said.
"He's defeated things much, much worse than just the most dangerous cyclops ever known." Connor added.
"You'll probably get to see in the second book. Ifwe are going to read the second book. That depends on whether the readers on FFN like this author's fanfic or not." Annabeth said. Jason nodded, though he had no idea what Annabeth was talking about.
"You drive a hard bargain," he told me. ... I swung the sword. Crusty stopped making offers.
I cut the ropes ... Annabeth and Grover got to their feet, groaning and wincing and cursing me a lot.
"You look taller," I said.
"Very funny," Annabeth said. "Be faster next time."
"Uh-huh. It was not funny at all." Annabeth spoke. "I had to restrain myself from slapping him, he annoyed me so much."
"So, what happened to all that annoyance now?" Katie leaned forward, suddenly interested. Annabeth blushed. "Now, I find it funny." She muttered.
"So just like what happened between Katie and Travis." Aphrodite observed wisely and hummed and nodded.
Tratie blushed. Just like Percy and the Annabeths.
I looked at the bulletin board ... DOA's address was right underneath with a map.
"Come on," I told ... Grover complained. "We were almost stretched to death.'"
"Then you're ready for the Underworld," I said. "It's only a block from here."
"End of chapter." Chris looked up from the book.