Minerva wasn't alone for long after Ralof had gone to sleep, not even three hours later Nora was up. The Nord woman was making everything ready for the day, Minerva offered her help but was refused.
Instead, she ate a bit of dried meat and bread from the day before while Nora worked in the kitchen. More time passed, Minerva removed the armor and stashed it in the storage room near the kitchen. She didn't know what to do with herself, but thankfully the children got up early. They hurried to her and bombarded her with hugs and kisses and questions.
She told them stories about her adventures, but left the gruesome details out.
Ralof emerged from upstairs, pulling their focus to him. Sofie and Hroar regarded him cautiously, but Lucia ran to him and he lifted her into his arms in a hug. He was out of his armor, in a white cotton shirt and dark linen trousers as he came to the table carrying Lucia.
"Wait! I need to introduce you to Sofie and Hroar," Lucia said and she squirmed in his arms before he set her down. She took both Sofie's and Hroar's hand and brought them closer to Ralof. "Sofie, Hroar, this is Ralof. He is the strongest soldier, he even killed a dragon with mama!"
Hroar immediately threw question after question at him, which Ralof answered with a smile. The boy immediately liked him and she could see Ralof liked him as well. Sofie was reluctant, she ran to Minerva and sat in her lap. Minerva gently feathered her hand over her back as the two snuggled in the chair.
"What's wrong, Sofie?" Minerva whispered and kissed the girl's temple.
Sofie remained silent at first, but then she looked up with wide eyes, her voice so small Minerva barely heard her say, "I thought you liked Ulfric, Min."
The smile immediately vanished from her face but she recovered it quickly, though it was only a shadow of the earlier one. Minerva sighed as she gave the girl her entire attention, keeping her voice low when she admitted, "Ralof is just a friend, Sofie."
"So you like Ulfric?" her eyes were bright as she expectantly awaited her answer.
Minerva didn't know how to answer it without giving the girl false hopes, but she smiled as bright as she could as she suggested, "Why don't you show Ralof your dolls?"
Sofie was reluctant at first, but she jumped off her lap and went to her room upstairs to bring the dolls. When the girl returned with a handful of handmade dolls, she proudly presented them to Ralof.
Minerva decided to head upstairs and once inside her room, she noticed Ralof's armor neatly folded on a chest in the corner, taking as little space as it could. She undid the few braids going from her temple and combed her hair, and decided she would take a long bath later. Once she braided her hair anew, she returned downstairs.
Everyone sat at the table and enjoyed breakfast, Ralof was immersed in a conversation with Calder while Nora filled the plates of the hungry children. The children ate quickly and left the table to play, leaving the adults alone in the room.
Minerva was not listening to what they were talking about. Sofie's words lingered on her mind, not allowing her to concentrate on the conversation.
Lucia and Hroar had immediately warmed up to Ralof, Sofie was reluctant, which didn't surprise her. The girl was attached to Ulfric more than Lucia and Hroar.
I thought you liked Ulfric, Min.
Minerva wasn't even certain if the attraction she felt towards him could be placed as romantic, but she knew the children were crazy about Ulfric, especially Sofie. The two had formed a bond over her father's death and Minerva liked to think he liked Sofie more than just the daughter from one of his deceased soldiers.
She shook her head and tried to focus on the conversation being held at the table, but each of her thoughts became consumed by Ulfric.
I will have to visit him later, she thought and her heartbeat elevated when she remembered the last promise he'd made her.
To finish what I started here.
Even the thought of him and her in bed made her stomach flutter nervously. To have her way with him was something she thought about often, but never allowed her mind to venture too far into the fantasy. Thinking about her inevitable encounter with Alduin always proved a successful distraction.
The sound of the wooden plates being stacked together pulled her back to the present. Nora was cleaning the table and Minerva decided to help, to keep the lust filled thoughts of Ulfric at bay.
The table was clear and the two women returned to the kitchen to clean the dishes.
"I will need a bath later. I can't wait to get the grime off of me," Minerva admitted.
Nora chuckled before she wondered, "It's been a rough few days, hasn't it?"
"Yes, it was crazy. I'm happy to get away from everything, for a while."
Something pulled her attention to the dining area. Hroar and Ralof were practicing with a wooden sword, and Ralof was playfully evading his attacks. His long hair was loosely tied back which gave her a clear view of the playful grin on his face. He wasn't shy to show how much he adored practicing with Hroar, and the boy had huge eyes as he absorbed everything Ralof said.
Minerva watched them and felt strange as she thought about something. Had they not drifted apart, he would surely live with them now. Ralof was perfect for the children, a perfect father figure; kind, strong, compassionate, protective, joyful. Minerva often imagined him with the children and now that she had the evidence right in front of her eyes, she couldn't help but wonder whether there could be a future for them.
Part of her would always have feelings for him, she couldn't deny that. But what about Ulfric? She shook her head and returned her attention to the plate in hand.
"You can't keep your eyes off of him," Nora stated playfully, chuckling.
Minerva looked at her and raised an eyebrow in question. Nora added, "You're thinking about him a lot."
"Not at all," Minerva quickly retorted, "Believe me, there are things which worry me more."
"No doubt. But you are awfully silent since you've returned with him." Nora looked at her, lips pursed as she worried, "Is everything alright?"
Minerva sighed, deciding to be honest with her as she ran the soap over the plate. "The final battle awaits, and I am more worried about the matters of the heart. As if I don't have the entire world depending on me."
She lifted her eyes from the plate to Nora. The Nord woman left the dishes and gave Minerva her entire attention as she dried her hands with a cloth.
"Sometimes, the matters of the heart are more important than anything else."
Minerva couldn't help but release a half-hearted laugh, "You think it's more important than facing the World-Eater?"
"Of course not," Nora retorted. The worry shone in her eyes, Minerva felt bad for having such a bitchy attitude towards her but she couldn't help it.
Again she thought of Ulfric and her eyes flew to Ralof.
"Jarl Ulfric visited a few days ago," Nora changed the subject. Her hand disappeared into her pocket but lingered there. "But now… I'm not even certain I should give you this."
"What is it?" Minerva frowned.
Nora withdrew her hand and resumed to wash the plates. Her attention was on the task when she admitted, "You clearly have feelings for Ralof, and I don't want to get between the two of you. I don't want to ruin anything."
"Nora, you're not going to ruin anything," Minerva sighed. She was genuinely curious to know what exactly was in the woman's pocket.
When Nora remained silent and focused on her work instead, Minerva decided to be completely honest about the situation between her and Ralof. "There once was something between me and Ralof, and I can't deny a small part of me still yearns for him, but… that stays in the past. He is not the right choice for me."
She looked towards Ralof and felt her stomach turn unpleasantly. Yes, a small part of her would always care for him, but he wasn't the same man anymore. The words had hurt her deeply and even though she'd forgiven him, they could never return to how they once were.
However, her heart fluttered as she watched him interact with the children.
She looked back at Nora, adding, "So, there is nothing for you to ruin here."
Nora sighed, abandoned the plate and dried her hands with the cloth. She hesitated and watched her as though making sure Minerva was speaking the truth. It felt like an hour passed before her hand took out a neatly folded, sealed note, holding it between her forefingers for Minerva to take.
Minerva reluctantly accepted it from her and her eyes rested on the Stormcloak insignia, the undeniable proof it came directly from the Jarl of Windhelm.
She didn't know whether to jump in glee or vomit.
"Did he say anything?" Minerva asked, her eyes on the note.
Nora shook her head, "No. But he seemed different, like there was a shadow over him." She sighed sharply at her choice of words. "I don't know how to explain it, sorry."
Minerva put the note into her pocket and resumed washing the dishes. When everything was done, she retreated to her room to heat enough water to bathe. The children were occupied with both Ralof and Calder, giving Minerva enough time to bathe in peace.
It didn't take long for the water to heat up and she stocked the fire in the hearth before she went to pick fresh clothes from the wardrobe. Once she placed them neatly over the bed, she pushed the small tub from the corner closer to the hearth and placed the privacy panel facing the door. That way, even if someone entered they wouldn't be able to see her.
She took her time bathing and relaxed in the warm water. She thought of nothing the entire time she washed her body and hair, carefully rinsing the remaining soap and dirt.
When she finished half an hour later, she dried her body with a cloth and put on the fresh undergarments and clothes. She decided for black leather leggings, a white shirt paired with a black corset and her knee-high, leather boots. Her hair was still wet when she ran the comb through it, she wouldn't braid it until it was partially dry.
Minerva sat close to the hearth, note from the Jarl of Windhelm in hand, and she broke the insignia. A turmoil of feelings raged within her as her eyes rested on his handwriting. She took a deep breath.
Minerva,
The memory of our kiss in High Hrothgar is consuming my every thought. It is all I can think about. It haunts me day in, day out.
I promised to finish what I started then, and I would gladly fulfill my part of the promise.
Find me in my chambers at night. Knock once, then thrice. I will be waiting.
Ulfric
Minerva never thought she could remain so absolutely calm and pretend as if she read the most unimportant thing in the world when her heart felt as though it would explode. She folded the letter, well aware of her shaking hands.
She didn't even have time to process its content when a soft knock sounded on her door. A heartbeat later, the door opened.
Her heart jumped up in her throat when Ralof appeared from behind the door, carefully peeking inside the room before he entered.
"I hope I'm not disturbing?" he wondered.
Minerva shook her head and assured, "Not at all," as she stood from the chair, walking over to the desk to place the note into the top drawer. She turned to face him, smiling softly as she wondered, "What is it?"
Ralof breathed out a laugh, nervously looking anywhere but her. His eyes lingered on the tub and he shook his head before looking at her, smiling.
"We didn't have the chance to talk," he admitted, getting closer.
Minerva breathed out a laugh, commenting, "Time flies, doesn't it?" earning a chuckle from him.
"Yes, it does indeed," he agreed, and a melancholic shine flashed in his eyes, but it disappeared when he blinked. "I'm curious… when will you summon the dragon?"
She inhaled deeply to steel her voice, to sound as normal as possible. The earlier note still swam in her mind, urging her to go to the palace.
"I will have to tell Jarl Ulfric of my absence, so that he doesn't expect my help anytime soon," she informed honestly. "So, I guess after that?"
She wished she didn't read the note when she did, it was all she could think about.
Ralof nodded, letting what she said sink in. He sounded more serious when he spoke, "You know, I have been thinking a lot about what happened in Whiterun, when you captured the dragon. I meant what I said, that the dragon didn't look like he was lying. But that leaves the question; what will happen once you defeat Alduin?"
He silenced for a heartbeat, then added, "Will the dragon follow your lead, and what of the other dragons?"
"I don't know," she sighed, "Assuming I return from Sovngarde, alive and in one piece, we'll see what happens."
"You will," he immediately added without a hint of doubt.
As much as she liked to share his enthusiasm, she couldn't. There was a very real chance for her to be unable to return to Skyrim. Minerva didn't want to think about it, but the thought haunted her and left little space for hope.
"There is a very real chance that I might not come back," she stated calmly, watching how a shadow flashed in his eyes. His face stiffened.
"I know, I guess," he sighed, his voice strained. He inhaled deeply and it was as though the dread disappeared with it. His voice carried the same amount of hope she saw reflecting in his eyes when he stated, "But I won't stop hoping for you to return."
He looked angry at his choice of words and barely shook his head when he corrected himself, "No. I know you will return," his eyes and face set with purpose.
"Ralof…" Minerva didn't know what to add to that. The amount of faith he had in her rendered her speechless. Even after everything he'd endured, he'd never lost hope, not even once in his life.
He took a step towards her, Minerva felt the heat coming from him as his brilliant blue eyes looked at her. He looked as though he struggled with something as he worked his jaw.
His voice carried the amount of pain she witnessed playing in his eyes as he confessed, "If I could take back the words, I would do so in a heartbeat, without hesitation. Because they cost me… everything."
Tears welled up in her eyes and she swallowed the choking lump as his warm hands cupped her face. It had been much easier to be angry at him and to despise him for pitying her. Her heart was torn to pieces and she was too consumed in her pain to notice him move.
He kissed her. Only he was able to kiss with such softness and care that it stole her breath away. A tear glided down her cheek when her eyes fell shut and for a heartbeat, she succumbed to his soft lips. Everything was just as before those shattering words had been uttered, but only for a heartbeat.
She cupped both his hands and gently slid them off her face, slowly breaking the kiss as she did so. To look him in the eye, she tilted her head back a little and allowed the emotions to play in her eyes, hoping he could clearly see them.
Ralof looked as though his soul had been crushed, and he wasn't afraid to show his pain.
Swallowing hard, she knew her confession would shatter him, but she needed to give voice to her words so that they could both move on.
"I cannot return… to what we were."
His eyes never left hers while he silently stood before her, unmoving. Minerva made her choice, she couldn't return to him and pretend they'd never argued before. The memories with him were pleasant and she would cherish him and the time they'd spent together, but her heart belonged to someone else currently.
Ralof nodded, understanding her decision, but the fight remained in his eyes. Minerva had, perhaps, shattered his heart, but the hope burned brighter than ever.
"This won't change the way I feel about you, ever," he confessed, sounding collected but hurt. "You'll always have a place in my heart, Minerva. Until there is still life left in me, I will wait. And hope."
Minerva gasped when he turned abruptly and headed for the door, leaving the room. He didn't seem angry nor hurt, but the way he left made her insides turn unpleasantly as she stood alone in the empty room.
Hugging her waist, she stood there unable to move nor think of anything other than his last statement. She was hurt as well, but she'd made the right decision.
Taking a deep breath, she headed to her desk where she'd put Ulfric's note and took it. She placed it against her chest and inhaled deeply, wondering what the night would bring her.
####
Hours later…
A knock sounded against the door to her room, and not a heartbeat later did someone enter. In the reflection of her vanity she noticed Nora entering, her face tense.
"Minerva?" she called her name as she moved closer. "A guard is at the door, asking to escort you to the palace."
Minerva turned in her seat to look at her. Nora's face widened in surprise, before her lips stretched in a smile.
"You look astounding, Minerva," Nora commented, to which Minerva returned to her reflection in the mirror.
It had been the first time in years since she wore any kind of makeup. It amazed her how a little coal around her eyelids and waterline, and a patch of red on her lips changed her appearance. Minerva looked younger and more beautiful than she ever remembered.
"Thank you," she said, and decided to change the subject, "What did the guard say?"
"Not much, only that Jarl Ulfric is requesting the Dragonborn to discuss further plans."
Nora seemed hesitant at first, she opened her mouth to say something but closed it again. Instead of speaking, she approached and took the chair from the desk to sit beside Minerva. Her face was tense with worry and Minerva wondered what bothered her.
"Ralof left hours ago," she stated, and Minerva's focus was averted to his neatly stashed armor. She hadn't touched it nor did he bring it with him when he left. "Did something happen?"
Minerva shook her head slowly as she looked back at her reflection.
"I've moved on," she admitted, more to herself than to the other woman in the room. "I don't feel the same way about him, anymore."
The statement hung in the air for a few heartbeats, making her uncomfortable, until Nora summarised, "I assume the makeup has something to do with the note I gave you, today."
Minerva remained silent, staring at her reflection as the guilt swallowed her whole. She felt guilty for breaking Ralof's heart, but she also didn't want to lead him on anymore.
She sighed, feeling very small when she wondered, "Am I a bad person for breaking his heart?"
Nora was silently considering her question before she answered a soft, "Yes," pulling Minerva's attention from her reflection.
Placing a hand on Minerva's thigh, Nora held her gaze when she added, "But not if you're chasing your own happiness. What is the point of honoring his heart, when yours would bleed every day for the rest of your life?"
Minerva watched her closely and felt the truth behind her words. It wouldn't make sense to be with Ralof just to keep his heart from any harm. Choosing him would mean she would throw her own wishes and desires away.
Minerva thought about Ulfric. They hadn't spent much time together, but even the little time being in his presence felt right. Ulfric had encouraged her to learn from her past, to not be crippled by it and to direct her rage at their enemies, instead. He had, not once, felt sorry for her or deemed her weak, and had always helped her no matter how impossible the task seemed.
Ralof, on the other hand, did feel sorry for her and for everything she had endured. It made her feel weak and pathetic, as though she hadn't grown as a person. She didn't want to be around someone who purposefully reminded her how weak she'd been during her imprisonment.
Shaking her head a little, she decided to head to the palace. The guard was already waiting for her. "Nora, can you watch over the children tonight?"
The Nord woman smiled, "Of course, it will be my pleasure. Your home and the children are in good hands, Minerva."
"Thank you," she sighed and the two stood up, leaving the room to head downstairs. Minerva put the heavy cloak around her shoulders and opened the door to reveal the guard politely bowing his head in greeting.
"Good evening, my lady," he spoke politely and Minerva stepped out of the home.
The two took the short path to the palace and the guards opened the gates for them. The throne room was empty and the guard started for the war room, and Minerva followed him silently. He stepped inside first, and as he announced her presence she entered and could feel every pair of eyes directed at her.
Inside were Galmar, Ralof and Ulfric, all three of them standing around the war table discussing their next course of action. To see Ralof here more than surprised her. His eyes lingered on her and she quickly averted them to Ulfric as she approached the war table.
"Return to your post," Ulfric spoke to the guard and he left.
Every pair of eyes was glued to her. Minerva avoided their gazes and instead watched the map on the table. Feeling their gazes trained on her made her feel exposed and uncomfortable.
"Dragonborn, Ralof tells me you captured the dragon successfully?"
Her eyes were drawn to Ulfric, and noticed in the edge of her vision that Ralof was watching her as well. The thought made her anxious.
She inhaled, "Yes, he agreed to help and he won't harm anymore people.
"But I heard of the Imperial attack on our camp in the Reach. What's the situation now?"
Ulfric sighed heavily, but it was Galmar who answered, "We know of Imperial spies in Markarth, they coordinated the attack. Most of them left with the treaty now in place, but we suspect there are one or two of them left."
Minerva furrowed her brows, the earlier unease disappeared with the news and was replaced by anger. "I thought he was supposed to pull his forces out of Markarth? For the sake of the treaty?!" Tullius was already breaking the terms of the treaty.
Galmar leaned his hands on the table, facing her, "Stormcloaks have entered the city without facing any resistance, but Tullius thinks we're too dumb to notice their leftovers."
"What about Riften?" Ulfric asked as he straightened up, "You said you had acquaintances there."
"Yes," she nodded, "Maven Black-Briar works with the Thieves Guild, and the new master of the Thieves Guild is my associate. I've already sent him a letter, he is to quell Imperial control as much as he can."
"So we can count her an ally, then?" asked Ralof. Minerva looked at him and forced the unease of talking to him to the back of her mind.
She admitted, "Not exactly. She will help whoever has the bigger coin purse." With a smirk, she looked back at Ulfric and stated, "Mine happens to be bigger than the Empires."
Ulfric had a confident smirk on his face before he moved his attention from her to Ralof. "Head to Riften and meet with the associate."
Ralof nodded, and Minerva was aware he was looking at her, admiring her even. "What's the name of that associate?" he asked, his eyes running over her face, unashamed.
Minerva swallowed as nervous sparks fluttered through her gut because of the way he was looking at her. Why couldn't she control herself? "His name is Brynjolf, you'll find him in the marketplace, usually. Brown haired Nord, tall, and you'll find him a bit hard to deal with."
"Will he not help willingly?" Ralof asked, a bit unsettled.
Minerva was quick to dispel his worries, "Of course, he's just… not as serious as you would expect him to be."
"Very well. I'll send information as soon as possible," Ralof left the war room, and Ulfric turned his focus to Galmar.
"See if you can get some more information about these spies. If they start problems, I'll send Tullius a message he will not underestimate." Ulfric spoke and Galmar pushed himself from the table.
Walking out, he stated, "If they start to mess with us, I'll head up to Solitude and kill Tullius myself," and his voice turned more and more distant while he walked out the war room.
For a few minutes, none of them said a word, they stared at one another as though they hadn't seen each other in years. Ulfric rounded the table and slowly started to approach her, and with each step her heart fluttered.
"I see you've read my letter," he spoke softly when he stood in front of her, his eyes running across her face as though it was a newly discovered piece of land.
Minerva allowed a small smile to appear and couldn't help her cocky reply, "I did, though I am confused."
To that, his expression fell and she smiled a little brighter, "The letter said to knock once, then thrice. Where am I supposed to knock now?"
The smile she received from him was something Minerva would lock deeply into her memory; he looked years younger, more careless and happy than she had ever seen. He took her hand and pulled her to him until she was softly pressed against him. He lowered his face to hers, his one hand resting on her waist while the other still held her hand.
Minerva stood on her toes as she placed her one hand on his cheek. He kissed her with such softness, such passion, that it took her breath away. With each kiss she wanted nothing more but to make him fulfill his promise to her.
They pulled away slowly after a while, their dreamy eyes locking onto another as she feathered her thumb over his cheek.
His voice was barely above a whisper when he admitted, "There are things I would like to talk to you about."
Minerva was sad when he pulled away, but instead of telling her what he meant exactly, he moved to the archway that would lead them to the second floor. When they reached the door to his room, he pulled it open and Minerva stepped inside.
The room was barely lit, the only source of light coming from the slowly dying fire in the hearth. He threw wood into the fire and it burned anew, then he went to the desk and poured them a drink. Minerva watched him all the while he moved, unable to tear her gaze from him.
With both drinks in hand he faced her and she went to him, accepting the mug of ale before taking a generous sip.
Keeping her eyes on the liquid, she decided to start a conversation with him. "Tullius is already breaking the terms of the treaty," she spoke, not looking up at him from the mug. "If it will be of any help…"
She glanced up in time to see him casually leaned against the desk, his arms at his sides while he regarded her with a look she had never seen on him before.
His voice was firm and calm when he asked instead, "Do you really want to talk about the Empire and the treaty right now?"
She exhaled. Of course she didn't want to talk about that currently, but she couldn't think of anything else to talk to him about. What should she do, instead? Throw her arms around him, urge him to take her?
"Well then, what do you wish to talk about?" she inquired, allowing him to lead the conversation.
"So you captured the dragon," he started, pulling a snort from Minerva.
"So I can't talk about the Empire, but you can ask me about the dragon." She crossed her arms, raising a taunting eyebrow at him.
He ignored her taunt and continued with his questioning, "Did it agree to help?"
Sighing, placed the mug on the desk next to his hand.
Of course he would wish to know about the dragon, so she decided to fill him in on the details. "He agreed to help, and if I defeat Alduin he promised his loyalty to me."
He absorbed her every word, his eyes running across her face as though he'd seen her for the first time. "Then you will have a dragon as your ally," he summarised, and Minerva nodded once.
She lowered her eyes to his chest and admired the material of his attire when she revealed more of what the dragon said, "The only problem is that Alduin is in Sovngarde devouring the souls of our ancestors. With each soul he devours, he gains more strength. To defeat him, I need to travel to Sovngarde and fight him there."
"A mortal traveling to Sovngarde," he repeated wearily, a melancholic shine in his eyes. "What's the chance for you to return here?"
Minerva tried to hide her unease and released a laugh, hoping he couldn't see her distress when she admitted, "I hope the same chance I have to get there in the first place."
"When did you plan to leave?"
Minerva was silent for a few moments and all humor left, her jaw tensed as she kept looking at his chest. Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes, too afraid she would shatter right in front of him.
Her heart started to beat faster as she found her voice again, admitting, "Tonight. But…" Her voice died in her throat, unable to finish her sentence.
But I couldn't leave, not until I said goodbye to you.
He pushed himself off of the desk and towered before her when the distinctive smell of Ulfric reached her nose; he smelled of wood and steel and smoke and ale. The heat coming from him burned the air between them, even standing this close to him banished all cold.
"You will find a way," he stated confidently and softly, no hint of doubt in his voice.
She let out a humourless laugh to hide her distress when she admitted, "The way you say it actually makes me believe it."
His cold fingertips cupped her chin and lifted her face, and her eyes were drawn to his.
"You will find a way," he repeated, sounding even more certain of the fact.
Minerva wanted to share his enthusiasm with her entire being, but somehow the feeling of dread wouldn't dissipate. It gripped her tightly and didn't allow her to feel anything other but hopeless. There was no doubt she would slay Alduin, she was certain of it. Yet when she thought of returning from Sovngarde, her confidence vanished.
His eyes darted to her lips and remained there, and Minerva was trapped in the intensity she saw in them. They were close, she just needed to stand on her toes and her lips would brush against his.
"Ulfric," she called softly and his eyes flew to hers immediately. Minerva felt her heart beating in every direction, she was aware of his every breath, every slight shift of air in the room.
The moonlight casted a brilliant shade of blue on his golden skin, his hair turned a paler shade of blond, but the melancholic look in his eyes rendered her speechless. And so did his statement.
"Lay with me."
Minerva felt her heart explode and suddenly, it became hard for her to breathe.