Chapter 29:
Harima felt nothing. Amidst all the pain and hardships he'd been through, this emptiness was paradise to him. For anyone who had nothing to lose, they too had nothing to go back to.
He could stay like this, forever detached from all the troubles the world had given him. Free from the hurt he had caused himself in the first place. He knew this. There were many times where he could have decided to make his life for the better, to let things run their course to his advantage. And yet, time and again, he managed to screw that up leading him to an endless purgatory of guilt and regret created by his own hand.
If that was the only world waiting for him, he would rather just stay still where he stood. From here, everything looked distant and nothing could ever make him hurt himself again.
This silent void.
Feeling nothing and caring about nothing.
This was what he wanted…
…No.
Something was missing, he could tell. Suddenly, the dead silence was deafening to him and he needed something to break him out of it.
A wind chime crossed his mind. It was not very intrusive and its gentle ringing could dispel the blanket of silence smothering him.
He could hear it now but still, something was missing. His own fiery emotions were beginning to rage inside of him that he couldn't make himself calm down.
A gentle breeze was what he needed to soothe his nerves.
But the more he felt the sensations, the more he felt there was something still missing.
A scent? A warm embrace?
However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't replicate them much to his dismay.
He couldn't afford to let this kind of peace slip away from him anymore. Now that he understood what he truly wanted and needed. And so, he struggled with all his might to remember the things that brought him the same feeling.
A walk beside the river.
Visiting the zoo.
Resting under a shrine.
Riding the motorcycle.
Cooking dinner.
Drawing manga.
Watching the sunrise.
These were the moments that brought him the same feeling. Not even the half-baked fantasies he'd conjured up in his mind before could compare. He would not exchange those precious memories for anything. He was truly happy and in peace at those times – and in all of them, there was someone by his side.
But she wasn't here in the cold recesses of his mind. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't convince himself to make a false image of her to blindly idolize and worship. He knew her too well that no cheap imitation could ever replace someone like her. To do so was a disservice and would not feel right.
To fully experience it again, he had to move on from where he stood and leave all the childish fantasies behind and go pursue something truly genuine. All his heartaches he needed to leave behind to not blind him to what's in front. The first step was always the hardest part. The blurry uncertainty of what lay ahead scared him but now, with everything they'd gone through together, it looked clearer. He could see from here what awaited him.
All he had to do was to take the first step.
And he did.
Only for him to wonder why his forehead felt strangely cold and then he became inexorably sleepy.
x-x-x
Consciousness slowly crept up on Harima. The blissful unfeeling turned into a stinging harshness as he experienced the raw sensations his body was in. His arms and legs felt so heavy that he struggled to even twitch his fingers. However, he could feel full control slowly returning the more he moved. He felt so paradoxically tired and rested at the same time. His mind was awake but his body was slow to respond. Opening his eyes was like opening a rusty door that had been closed for a long time. And the first thing he saw was a furred appendage pressing down on his forehead giving a cold sensation. Once his vision cleared, he recognized it was Iori, the cross-shaped scar giving him away.
The cat retracted his paw from Harima's forehead and then nimbly jumped to the window sill. Harima noticed there was another cat by the window. A white one, quite elegant compared to the scruffier Iori if he was going to be honest. For some reason, he felt Iori was staring balefully at him before walking away. The white one bowed almost apologetically and then went on its way.
There was a surreal feeling that he might have met them before… Perhaps a fevered dream that he imagined them talking some sense into him when he was truly desperate? Although, he did once see Pyotr emerging from a kotatsu which, according to all conceivable sense, was outright impossible. His mind was playing tricks on him again but the result was the same. They led him to someone in need.
Turning his eyes away from the window, Harima looked around and sure enough, he was in the hospital again. He almost expected it now whenever he woke up from a deep slumber. Itoko would definitely give him hell for all the hospital bills he's been racking up. He was sure she was lurking just around the corner, ready to reprimand him as soon as he was conscious.
But instead, what he saw to his side was someone sleeping, her head lulled forward.
It was her. The person he couldn't falsely create in his mind for there was no one like her even in his dreams.
With an effort, Harima reached out and touched her hand to make sure she was real, and sure enough, she was. The sensation of warmth in his hand assured him this was genuine, and a feeling of contentment settled within him.
A few seconds later, Harima saw she was starting to wake up, but he still held on. Once he made eye contact, Harima simply smiled and greeted her, "Good morning, Yakumo."
Yakumo at first looked unfocused; but then her expression turned into confusion and then into a teary surprise. Harima was about to greet her again in case she didn't hear him the first time when suddenly, Yakumo threw herself at him and hugged him. Harima was taken aback but then made himself at ease.
This embrace. It was genuine, too.
"I'm so glad you're okay," Yakumo said, her arms still tight around Harima.
"Hey, that's my line," Harima replied weakly but lightheartedly.
"I thought… I thought I was going to lose you again." Harima felt a pang of pain in his chest. He could tell she was crying as her body started trembling and he felt tears soak his shirt. It never occurred to him the pain he had dealt when he abruptly left. He knew how hurtful it was to be left behind and just thinking that he had been the one to cause it, broke his heart.
Slowly lifting his arms, Harima gently returned Yakumo's hug. "Don't worry. I'm here. I won't leave you again. I promise."
How Yakumo had waited for this moment. No more half-baked one-sided embraces like before. She could feel his strong arms pulling herself closer to him which made her cry all the more. And then his promise to her. If she had been standing, her legs would have given way. As it was, she nodded a few times and then squeezed him tighter with all the love she felt for him.
After several seconds, Yakumo felt a hand tapping on her back.
"Uh, Yakumo?"
"Yes?"
"You're… crushing me."
Yakumo quickly let go of Harima and sat back in her seat, completely embarrassed. "I'm so sorry!" she said, her hands on her lap, head bowed and still crying. "I was just glad that you're finally awake so…"
Harima looked concerned at her but then a memory crossed his mind. He had seen something very similar before, he was certain. A girl crying bitterly and yet so happy at the same time. He couldn't forget that image one Christmas night from his childhood where he managed to make someone smile again despite all the tears shed.
Could it be?
He raised a hand towards Yakumo and wiped her tears away with his fingers. "Don't cry. I don't know what fully happened but I missed seeing your smile this past week. So, smile, for me?"
Yakumo looked up at him. This was a similar quote she had said to a crying little girl during the culture festival. That if she ever found that special someone, she would always try to smile for him. Who would have ever thought that her own advice would come back to her in such a way?
Fetching a handkerchief from her pocket, she wiped her tears away and then gave him a lovely smile - one which she had mostly shown only to him.
"That's better," Harima said, resting back in his bed. "So… how did I get here? What happened?"
"That's what I would like to ask you, too," Yakumo answered. "I woke up at the Yagami shrine yesterday and I saw you badly hurt. Fortunately, Pyotr and the others helped get you to the hospital."
"Oh, right. I remember Pyotr was the one who led me to the shrine. I just knew something bad was about to happen to you so I rushed straight there." Harima paused and then sighed. "So, the little girl who occasionally visits. You know her?"
Yakumo looked surprised. "…Yes, I know her. We've met several times as she's trying to get the answer to something she doesn't quite understand herself."
"Figures. No wonder she asks weird questions. She didn't do something crazy to you, did she?"
"I'm not sure. She once said she wanted to take something from us so she can finally understand it. I guess that reading other people's minds would make her understand other people's intentions clearer."
"You really are a mind reader so that's why she brought you to that shrine. I knew nobody would take me seriously when I blurted out you had that ability, but I was sure I was right."
"But you can read animal minds, can't you?" Yakumo asked, now that they can freely express their thoughts to each other.
"What?"
"Your interaction with the animals. You understand them on such a deep level that it looks like you can talk to them. That's why the little girl took notice of you and wanted it for herself."
Harima put a hand to his chin, "Hmm. I can't say I can… talk to them but I just know what they want. If you've been around them for a long enough time, you'll get to understand them." When he saw Yakumo looking unconvinced, he continued, "Alright, I can talk to them but not in a way you think."
"But did she succeed in taking our… powers?" Yakumo said, still incredulous how strange it sounded.
"I don't know about that. Can you still read people's minds?"
"Now that you mention it, I haven't read any minds lately," Yakumo remembered that despite meeting Hanai yesterday, she didn't read his mind. She also read Harima's mind yesterday but now she couldn't. Did she gradually lose it?
"I don't feel any different at all except I feel like I've been run over by a truck again," Harima said, grimacing. "I hope she got what she wanted because I don't want to feel like this ever again. It's not like anyone's going to believe that a ghost beat me up this badly."
"I'm so sorry. If I wasn't so weak you would have never been hurt like this."
"It's okay. I've been in that kind of situation before. I've put myself in danger not caring what would happen to me. The most important thing is that you're safe. That's enough for me." Harima paused. "You know, I've been meaning to say this ever since I woke up. Yakumo, I…"
Yakumo looked on expectedly, waiting to hear those actual words… when Harima's stomach growled.
"I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat?"
Yakumo suppressed a laugh. He wouldn't be the same Harima without his unpredictable nature. "I brought some apples and snacks in case you were already awake but I'm not sure if the doctors will let you eat something after you just woke up." Yakumo stood up. "I'll go inform them you're finally awake so I'll be back in just a minute." At this, she hurriedly left the room. Harima simply smiled, knowing that there was a button for that very purpose near his bed, but he let it be.
x-x-x
"It seems like you're heading for a speedy recovery and can be released anytime soon, Mr. Harima." A doctor said. "You've faced worse before but please, take care of yourself next time. We really cannot afford to call in animal control every time you're brought in here by one of your animal friends."
"He'll manage." Itoko waived off. "You'll be sure to be more careful from now on, right, Kenji?" Her tone of voice and wide, cheerful smile gave Harima the shivers; but they were dispelled as soon as he glanced at Yakumo.
"Yeah, I'll be okay."
"Good, now that's out of the way, I should be going now. I need to go to the zoo to convince them to invest in better enclosures. See you two around."
Harima watched the two adults leave as Yakumo set up the food she brought earlier. He was given an onigiri by Yakumo and then she started peeling some apples.
Onigiri. A simple snack common in Japan and yet offering him one was the first time of many she'd tried to cheer him up whenever he was feeling down.
While eating, Harima thought about the last time he was in the hospital when even Tenma had come to visit – many things were different this time around. The setting was all too familiar but he didn't feel nervous at all. He didn't need to ask Itoko for advice on what to say nor did he need to forcefully think up a conversation. So, this was what it felt like to be close with someone he fully trusted. No pretense, no ulterior motives, and hiding secrets. Just the two of them having honest conversations and enjoying each other's company.
Yakumo handed Harima a peeled apple. To her surprise, Harima started probing said fruit.
"Woah. It's peeled perfectly." Harima softly said in wonder. Yakumo smiled at his strange compliment, one eyebrow raised in amusement. Harima caught her confused expression and he smiled sheepishly. "Oh, it's nothing. Just remembered something." Not having only the apple core to eat was another nice change compared to last time.
After eating his fill and feeling like a human being once again, Harima felt he needed to tie up loose ends. He didn't want things to be left alone as always and he needed to clarify something.
"Since we're here, can I share something with you about my childhood?" Harima asked. "I don't think I've shared this with anyone else before but I might as well let you know."
"Of course," Yakumo answered. She did miss this sharing of stories. Perhaps they might even incorporate it into their manga.
"When I was a child, I didn't like holidays, especially Christmas. People always kept trying to include us in their celebrations without realizing we couldn't afford to. We didn't have any money for presents, let alone all the food and decorations. But as the older brother, I thought the least I could do is give Shuuji something for once. I can't let him grow up hating Christmas as I did.
"While I was walking around, looking for something I could get, I accidentally made someone drop the cake they'd just bought." Harima then laughed. Destroying cakes might be something he couldn't escape from. "It was a custom-made cake too but I didn't have any money to pay for it so I offered to help in any way possible to compensate for my mistake. Turns out this girl who bought the cake has a little sister who also hates Christmas like my little brother. She simply wanted to make her little sister happy, just like what I was trying to do with my brother and that really moved me."
A little sister who hates Christmas? Yakumo thought, sounding too familiar to her.
"Well, her request was kinda… strange." Harima continued. "It wasn't something you could get with money, but courage and daring, I guess. I didn't have many options so I agreed, and I showed up at their house dressed up as their father somewhat, complete with a drawn-on mustache and suit I… borrowed from my own dad – fortunately he never found out."
A boy pretending to be a father?
"But her little sister, though. When she saw me, she was so angry about our little stunt that I was worried that I might have ruined their Christmas even further. To be fair, this wasn't the first time her older sister did such a thing. But when I saw her loudly shouting at her sister when I knew she genuinely just wants her to be happy during the holidays, something came over me and I ended up slapping her!"
At this point, Yakumo froze at the story she was hearing.
"Apparently, that was the worst thing I could have ever done at that moment. The older sister quickly slammed me to the ground as revenge for hurting her little sister. They both cried while I was hopelessly lying on the ground. I was just a kid back then. What more could I have done but make it worse? But looking up towards the sky, it dawned on me that I can show them what Christmas is about.
"I've heard that the star is very important regarding Christmas. It's a sign of hope, that despite the darkness around it, we can still see their light no matter how faint. I knew a place that had an excellent view of the city and sky at night so I took them there."
"…To the Yagami Highschool rooftop," Yakumo answered softly.
"So, you caught on, huh?" Harima said, amused. "When I saw you crying earlier, I just knew you were that grumpy little girl, bawling her eyes out up on that rooftop. You know… I always wondered what happened to you since that day. Who knew you were actually both the same person? Can you blame me, though? You're different now compared to how you were like before." Harima made a wry smile as he lowered his head. "All this time you were right beside me and I didn't even notice." That was not the only thing he failed to notice and he was ashamed he hadn't realized it sooner.
Harima turned to Yakumo and saw her crying quietly. At this, he panicked, "I'm really sorry for slapping you that night! I don't know what got into me so please –"
Yakumo stifled a laugh. Crying one second and then laughing the next was definitely not something she thought she'd normally do – only he could elicit such a response out of her. It was his innocence and genuine concern for her that made him all the more endearing. She'd heard people say that the one you loved could make you laugh with no effort whatsoever. "No. I'm okay." She said wiping her tears away. She took a moment to compose herself after this revelation. "It's just that I was also looking for you all this time. I am who I am now because of what you did that night. I… I'm really glad that I met you."
"Me, too. I don't know where I would be if you weren't by my side always supporting me. There's also another thing I didn't realize before - that you have feelings of your own. I was so blinded by my own troubles that I couldn't understand that others could also feel the same way. Loving someone who already has eyes for another. I know that feeling all too well and perhaps I might have hurt you without realizing it."
Yakumo shook her head. "It's not your fault. I should have been more honest with myself. I was so afraid of what might happen that I failed to act when I should have."
"Alright. How about it's both our fault? We both owe each other favors in that case." Yakumo smiled and nodded at this compromise.
"I don't have much practice doing this sort of thing, but I want to finally own up for all my mistakes so I might as well start by saying this now." Harima touched Yakumo's hand, "I love you Yakumo."
Yakumo laced her fingers into his hand. "I love you too… Kenji." Harima was surprised that not only had she used his first name, but his feelings were finally being reciprocated for a change.
So, this was what it felt like to have the person you love, love you back. All the worries and uncertainties melted away and gave way to a new feeling of contentment and appreciation that they hadn't felt before. It seemed like an astronomical miracle that the very boy who made her smile again during her childhood would then change her life a second time years later. Her late father was indeed right that someone out there would make her smile, not just once, but for the rest of their lives together.
Yakumo leaned closer to Harima and he, in return slowly leaned closer to her. She had been waiting for this moment since she had fallen for him.
There were multiple instances where this could have happened but all of them came not from their own feelings, but by some random accident. The sudden appearance of Akira rappelling down from the ceiling interrupted them during the culture festival play. The incident at the walking festival only appeared to be a real kiss – apparently, Harima had unnaturally flexible lips. The CPR didn't count as she was trying to save his life and he wasn't even conscious to know it was taking place.
The two slowly closed their eyes as their lips inched closer together… However, the door chose that moment to crash open, spilling several people onto the floor. Harima and Yakumo quickly pulled away in surprise.
"Miki! You pushed too hard!" A short-haired girl said.
"Sorry! It was getting to the best part!"
"I told you we shouldn't be peeking." A girl in a nun's attire said.
"Sarah, you're with us." A girl with long black hair dryly noted.
Harima and Yakumo turned their heads towards the doorway and the four people piled up on the floor bickering at each other. Miki, Sarah, Haruna, and Satsuki eventually got back on their feet and stared back at them.
"Umm, hello there." Miki awkwardly greeted them, patting the dust off her clothes. "Just… ignore us. Continue what you were doing. You can even go through all the bases if you want but don't take too long."
"Miki! Do you even know what you're saying?!" Satsuki yelled, appalled.
"What? As long as they don't kiss for a long time, Yakumo won't get pregnant, right?"
The rest remained completely silent as Haruna face-palmed audibly. Yakumo in particular was starting to go beet-red in embarrassment. The thought of what Miki was suggesting was just too much for her to handle when they'd only just started their relationship.
"You okay, Yakumo?" Harima asked. Yakumo stared at him for a few seconds, before dropping down unconscious right next to him.
"Yakumo! Get a hold of yourself!" Harima said holding her up in his arms.
"Oh no! Not again!" Sarah said rushing to her best friend.
"It's all your fault, Miki! It was just getting better too!" Satsuki complained.
"Don't blame it all on me! I couldn't see anything! And why was I pushed to the back anyway when I was the first one to suggest this?"
"Shouldn't we call a nurse or something?" Haruna asked.
x-x-x
Epilogue
Kenji Harima, former delinquent and number one bad boy of Yagami High. He's also the ex-fiance of a certain rich heiress and now dating the younger sister of his former crush.
Even he wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't actually happened to him.
It was just moments ago when his best friend, housemate, and manga co-author - now girlfriend - Yakumo Tsukamoto, confessed her love to him. She was currently sleeping serenely beside him with a smile that he grew to treasure. Her warmth and closeness indicated how much she accepted him as a person. He once believed he had to be someone else for the person he'd been infatuated with – hiding behind sunglasses and constantly in fear of being recognized. Always masking his feelings, pretending to be someone he wasn't, and he'd hurt others along the way as a result.
It was a good thing he failed. A love that was built on forcibly changing oneself wasn't as different from forcing someone to love you. When the person who saw and accepted his true self had been beside him all along, it seemed like he'd been keeping up a completely foolish charade the whole time. He smiled at the thought that he needed someone to fully accept him until he was finally able to accept himself. May it be guided by luck or blessed by fate, all he had to do was continue going forward.
And he wouldn't have it any other way. Wasn't it a funny thought? That Kenji Harima, a former delinquent and number one bad boy of Yagami High - and Yakumo Tsukamoto, a living paragon of what's pure and beautiful, were in a relationship together. Fate could sometimes be an ironic comedian.
He closed his eyes, cherishing the experience that he once tried so hard to find, the ghosts of their pasts already behind them.
Author's Corner: And that's the end of the story! It's been six years since I first published this and I'm very happy for all the support this story has garnered over the years. You know who you are so thanks for staying 'til the end. I have to give massive props to sumodog who was always clutch in editing the chapters. Without their help, I might not even finish this story so just give them the love they deserve.
I did say that the story is over BUT (and this is a huge "but"), I cannot end it just like that. So even if the main story has ended, there would be additional chapters picking up where it left off. They're just a collection of self-contained stories like School Rumble Z so if you want more then better stay tuned.
As this is the last chapter, just a word from my beta reader:
Beta-reader's note: Hey readers! It's Sumodog here. I just wanted to say congrats for reaching the end of A Ghost Encounter! It's been a long journey but I hope you enjoyed reading this School Rumble fanfic until its conclusion. This is my first time being a proofreader so I also hope I did not make too many mistakes. Actually, I feel very fortunate that this got to be the first story I helped be a part of, and that the author is silenthero27. I can confidently say not many people are as big a fan of School Rumble as he is. There are soooo many little details in this story which reference just a few pages, or sometimes even just a few panels of the original manga! Many times I had to skim through it all like some sort of encyclopedia just to affirm some details of a scene haha. My goldfish memory didn't help either. I gotta thank silenthero27 for putting up with all my questioning and nitpicking. He's a genuinely nice guy and has become a good friend of mine over these years. Lastly, I want to ask the readers to please leave a review for this story – even just a few words is fine. I think a guy who works 6 days a week and yet still uses his spare time to write for the public, for free, is more than deserving of some appreciation. Thank you for reading and guess we will see you once again some time in the future! :P
Anyway, it's been a blast and an experience writing this story. Many things have happened these last six years I would not have imagined happening and I'm glad that I wrote this. As always, reviews are appreciated, and see you in the next stories!
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The sun had just risen and true to form, he was late when he was truly needed. He had spent so much time and energy giving that idiot a lesson he should've had a long time ago. Sure, it was risky but if other animals have tried before, why not him? It's not like this was his first time helping those who had taken care of him.
As he was about to climb the steps, he saw a band of animals going down, carrying what seemed to be two people. One was his master riding a giraffe and the other was a man draped over the shoulder of a gorilla. It seemed like they didn't need his help, after all.
"Take care of each other", he whispered as he took off his kitsune mask.
"So, it was you." The man turned around and saw a young girl. She was wearing a clean white yukata with red lines around the sleeves and bottom. Her long black hair was neatly tied back, and her red eyes now had a glint in them instead of the lifeless orbs they'd been before.
Iori chuckled. "I was gone for a few moments and you're already messing with my master again? You got what you wanted now?"
The young girl looked away. "It doesn't matter anymore. It's up to them what they will do with it from now on."
"You finally get it. Do what you can and let others do theirs. Only then will love bloom in between. Humans are such conflicting creatures."
The young girl stayed silent. To think a cat of all things knew more about love than her who once lived as a human being. "These people carry a burden that only they can lift. Only by fulfilling a wish they deeply desire will they finally be unshackled. It was that same reason why this shrine was built here."
"So, that's how it works. How about you? Have you finally fulfilled your wish?"
The young girl smiled a little. "It seems so. Will you continue to watch over them as you always do – even from beyond the grave?"
Iori narrowed his eyes.
"Your scar. The car crash."
"That's why no one likes you. You're too nosy." Iori turned around. "This could have ended pretty badly but I have complete faith in those two to work it out. So should you."
"And I will. Take care of each other." The young girl slowly vanished out of sight.
Now alone, Iori adorned the kitsune mask once more. He turned into his normal form of a black cat and then walked away.
Well, another interesting story to watch from now on, I suppose.