A/N: Frigging Hadley

Chapter 29

December 24, 1995

She checked her secret mailbox at the post office in Clarice, but there was nothing there. She hadn't heard from Eric in almost three weeks, and she was pretty sure that he'd gotten caught trying to contact her. Again. She'd sent her new cell phone number and he hadn't called. She was sure she was going to get an earful from Godric, but too fucking bad. She had kept her word about not telling him about the baby or her involvement with the vampires. And she missed Eric so much. She wondered why Godric hadn't mentioned it yet. Surely he was in the loop. Unfortunately, she couldn't bring it up without admitting she was still talking to him sometimes.

She stopped by the Walmart on the way home to pick up a few things for Gran. She avoided shopping in Bon Temps as much as possible, but as much as she was in Shreveport and Clarice, it wasn't really a problem. The store was a madhouse, but she managed to get everything on her list and then made her way to the checkout. There was a little boy, barely more than a baby, sitting in the cart in front of her. He was beautiful, maybe a year and a half old, with blond hair and blue eyes. He looked just like the baby pictures she'd seen of Eric. The baby smiled at her, and she just kind of melted.

She put her hand on her belly, and felt almost faint. The reality of her situation just kind of hit her. She had found out a few weeks before that she was having a boy. She hadn't really cared either way; she was still completely ambivalent about the whole thing at the time. But now...

The man in front of her turned around to see what his baby was smiling at. Sookie dropped her eyes to the ground and talked herself out of switching to another line or just abandoning her cart and walking out. She'd made quite a habit of that one lately. Unfortunately, she hadn't looked away in time to miss the way Eric's father had looked at her.

Thank God Eric wasn't the one that got the little whore pregnant. Although, if he was, maybe he wouldn't be so distant...

She kept her eyes down and tried not to look at him again, but he hesitated after he paid for his groceries. He had her blocked in. She took a deep breath and looked up at him.

"Hello, Sookie. Have you heard from Eric lately?"

He was really upset about how strained their relationship was. How angry Eric had been with him ever since Eric's mother died. He hadn't heard from Eric in months, not since the letter he'd gotten that said that Eric had quit school and moved to Japan. He was worried, but Eric was an adult and there wasn't really anything he could do.

"Um. No, not for a while. Sorry."

"Well, thanks anyway. And Merry Christmas."

She nodded and he walked away with Eric's baby brother. She paid for her things and got out of there before she ran into anyone else she knew.

Gran had been begging her to go to the Christmas Eve service for weeks. She had finally decided the night before that she would, but now she didn't know if she would be able to go through with it. She wished so much that she was the kind of person who didn't care what other people thought about her. But she did care, and she always knew, in graphic detail, exactly what they did.

After supper, she went upstairs to get ready. Every time she decided she would go, she had second thoughts. She figured she would decide as they were walking out the door. She was just putting on the red cashmere cardigan Pam had given her for Christmas - they had exchanged gifts the night before - when she heard a ruckus downstairs. She reached out and felt the two voids. Godric and Pam rarely came to her.

They were sitting on the couch when she walked in. She squeezed in between them and sat down. "Hey, guys. What's up?"

Godric said, "We brought a Christmas present for your grandmother and aunt. They're in the kitchen."

She used her telepathy to listen in. Gran and Aunt Linda were over the moon to see Hadley. Sookie wrinkled her nose, but she was really happy for them. She knew how much Linda had wanted to see Hadley again before she died. She hoped Hadley wouldn't do or say anything to ruin it.

"How?"

Godric shrugged. "She belongs to the Queen. I called in a favour."

"Or two. Sookie, that sweater looks lovely on you."

"Thanks, Pam."

"It's so soft."

Godric had his arm around her and Pam was stroking Sookie's belly, using the excuse of the softness of the cashmere, when Gran, Linda, and Hadley all moved into the living room. Hadley eyed Sookie's belly, and how she was cuddled up between Pam and Godric, and raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Sookie. It's been a while."

Sookie was getting blasted with Hadley's x-rated imagination - image after image of herself doing just about everything possible with Godric, Pam, or both at the same time. It was just like when they were younger, and Hadley would scream her thoughts at Sookie. There was no way to block it out.

"Cut it out, Had. Stop it right now."

Hadley looked wide-eyed, placing her hand on her chest. "Sookie, I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not doing a thing!"

Then Hadley started to think about Eric. He was with other girls, four or five at once. They were tangled together. Naked. They were all over him. And vice versa. And Eric had fangs. This wasn't just another scene from Hadley's imagination.

Sookie scrambled to her feet, blinking back tears. "Aunt Linda, Gran, I am so sorry."

She walked over to Hadley and punched her in the mouth. Then she grabbed her car keys and left the house. Pam was sitting in the passenger seat holding Sookie's purse when she got in.

Pam said, "Where are we going?"

"I don't know."

"Come to our place. Godric won't mind. He has to take Hadley back to New Orleans. Hopefully he won't wring her neck. What did she do?"

"She imagined me fucking you and Godric. It sucked, but whatever. It wasn't real. She knows how to think really loud. How to get under my skin. But then she remembered Eric fucking a harem, pretty much, and getting fucked and sucked in return. Apparently just out in the open in front of God and everybody. Including my cousin. How could he have been so fucking stupid? It might as well have been some kind of show. I don't know whether to be jealous or appalled. I know I never want to be involved with anything like that. I feel like I want to throw up. Merry Christmas to me."

And, goddammit, she had finally been excited to have their baby. And now she couldn't stop seeing him with all of those girls. The ones who were no longer faceless and abstract.

"Sookie…"

"Yeah, vampires and sex. Blah blah blah. But I'm not a vampire, Pam. And, even if I was, I wouldn't be ok with that. Meaningless public sex wouldn't ever be an option for me. Not with my disability. But I wouldn't want it to be, anyhow. I don't care what consenting adults do in their free time, but Eric is mine. He's not just some random consenting adult. I was able to get through this when I didn't have to see it. I could pretend to ignore it. But now I'll never be able to stop seeing it. And now I have to worry, when it's just me and him again, is he going to miss that? Will I be enough? Because I'm not going to share. And I'm not raising my baby around stuff like that."

"Vampires have needs, Sookie."

"And so do I. It would be like if you had a front row seat to your human getting fucked by five other vampires at once. If he gets fidelity, so do I. I will not be thought of as lesser, Pam. And I sure as hell won't be treated that way. I killed his maker, and I understand that was a pretty big fucking deal. If I can do that, I am not less than."

"No... No, Sookie, you are not."

Sookie pulled into Godric and Pam's driveway. She followed Pam inside and down to Godric's bedroom. She'd been staying over a lot lately. She supposed that she should feel weird about it but, as much as Pam teased, neither of them would touch her that way. Even if she wanted them to, which she so didn't. She was Eric's, and Eric was theirs. And that was that.

She got dressed in one of Godric's dirty shirts from the hamper and climbed into bed. It smelled good, and made her feel better. She put her cell phone under the pillow. She wouldn't have if Godric were going to be back, but Pam pretended not to notice.

It was a long time until dawn, but Pam crawled into bed with her.

"I shouldn't have punched her."

"I disagree. How are your hips?"

"Sore. My back, too. Does Hadley know the baby is Eric's?"

"Yes, but she's been glamoured to keep her mouth shut. She likely won't see him again, anyhow. The Queen isn't planning another trip to Texas anytime soon. Turn over."

Sookie rolled onto her side - lying on her stomach had been out of the question for a few weeks - and Pam dug her knuckles into Sookie's lower back. Sookie groaned. All of her joints felt loose, and her hips and lower back ached like crazy. And Pam had talented fingers, and managed to walk the line between pleasure and pain.

"She has always hated me. She always tries to come between me and Eric."

Pam dug her fingers into Sookie's hips. "She's a jealous little bitch. I have no idea what the Queen sees in her. Well, except for the tight little body and the way she smells."

"I can't stop thinking of him with those girls."

"You will in time. Better?"

Sookie nodded. She did feel a little better. Both physically and emotionally. "Thank you. For everything."

Sookie's cell phone rang. Pam patted her butt and smiled at her. She got up and slipped out the door. It was a Texas area code. Sookie took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello?"

"I miss you, lover. Merry Christmas." His voice was husky. Needy. He'd wanted to have phone sex, and had been anxious for her to get a cell phone so they could. She knew that's what he wanted. Even if she hadn't heard from him in weeks. Her stomach clenched. She could barely force out a whisper.

"I miss you, too."

There was a long pause."Sookie, what's the matter?"

She wished she could pretend with him. She opened her mouth to say, "Nothing," but nothing came out.

"Please, Sookie. Talk to me. What's going on?"

She could hear that he was starting to panic. She needed de-escalate. But instead, she blurted out, "I saw Hadley."

Of course, he knew right away. He knew what Hadley was like. At first she thought he had just hung up. There wasn't a noise on the other end for two or three minutes. "Eric?"

"Please don't leave me." It was barely a whisper. She sighed. God, she was so tired.

"Eric, I-"

"I'm coming for you. Tonight. Be ready. I'm going to get away and we'll run."

"Eric, we can't. Not like this. They'll find us."

"No! You're mine!"

She could almost feel him losing control. And then realized that she could. That it was strong enough that she felt him all the way from Dallas. She hadn't felt him since the night Godric had taken him away from her. He must have opened the bond.

"No, Eric. Just shut up. Please. Just shut up and tell me that you love me and that everything is going to be ok."

But he couldn't. He was too far gone. He felt completely out of control. There was a commotion on the other end of the line. She heard yelling, and growling, and then someone hung up the phone.

Sookie curled up into a ball. She was so tired. Just so tired of everything. Pam stuck her head back in.

"All clear?"

Sookie shook her head. She felt like she was betraying him. But she'd felt betrayed first. Even if it wasn't fair. She'd given him permission. And she couldn't run. Not now. Not with the baby coming.

"He's going to run. Tonight, if he can get away. Tell Godric. He'll come for me if he can."