SCOUT/YUUTA - WEEK TWO

Scout was quick to dress, eat and do morning yoga, counting down the minutes until lunch, group therapy and then the agonizingly slow to come two o'clock. Yuuta was coming today.

Devon followed Scout into the small room that worked as their yoga studio and during evening free time, open gym. Scout wasn't permitted her weapons, but that didn't mean she and Yuuta would have nothing to do. There was always katas and sparring. She chewed on her lip as she watched the minutes tick by. Where was he? Then a tuft of dark brown fur flickered through the tiny window in the door.

Yuuta pushed open the door to the gym and smiled when he saw Scout waiting there. "Looking much better," he signed.

Scout chewed on her bottom lip, slowly signing as she stood. "I'm not sure what to say to that. Thanking you would feel like admitting that I'm that awful, weak girl who did drugs."

She wasn't sure where this was coming from as one thought tumbled into another, she'd not thought about what she'd say to him when she saw him. Maybe her lack of preparation was a mistake. On top of diarrhea of the mouth spoken via the hand, she despised the tears suddenly filling her eyes. "They'll never look at me the same again. No one will. Not you, Alli, Jem, my parents, and definitely not Uncle Leo."

Yuuta remained still, watching as she erupted. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, classic Yuuta. Maybe he was wondering what the hell he walked into. Maybe he'd regret coming. They hadn't parted on the best of terms when she'd last seen him. How would it end now?

So many thoughts crammed her mind, flowing out in the language of her hands. "I wouldn't be surprised if my cousins aren't allowed to hang out with me anymore." Her eyebrows lifted as her hands moved aggressively. "Everyone probably thinks I might get them into drugs too." She continued signing as she began to pace. "Did you know, they said my parents can come to visit as early as this Friday because I'm," she made air quotes, "doing so well."

She stopped short of Yuuta, but couldn't look him in the eye as she signed, "I don't want them to come. I don't want to be here and I don't want to see them or go home. I'm still mad and hurt that they put me here and left me. But what's worse is-" she hesitated, barely completing each symbolic connection of her following words. "I'm afraid they'll think less of me or treat me different now. Like they do Alli. Like I'm fragile and going to break. I don't want that. Because I'm not. And- and I don't like seeing my dad so- tore up. Were you ever so mad at Grandmere or Sofu that even though you wanted to, knew you should, your pride just wouldn't let you apologize? Like, I couldn't even tell them goodbye or that I loved them when they left. I swung at my mom and gave my dad a black eye."

Fresh tears cling to her eyelashes, blurring the black shirt Yuuta wore. "I think I'm ashamed of it all, that maybe I don't deserve forgiveness for the way I acted, the things I've done. And there's all these stupid emotions and I hate them. I just want my life back the way it was and that's so not happening."

Yuuta waited for her to finish letting out all the things she needed to say. Being mute his entire life had taught him how precious it was to be listened to when you had something to communicate, particularly when there were impediments to getting your voice out there. He understood that very well. It also gave him the time he needed to frame his words.

When her well finally ran dry, he lifted his hands to weave his response. "If there's no going back, then go forward. Make your future into a life you want. I know you're concerned about being judged by us, but we are all going to be here for you as you do it, because we love you. Unconditionally. And yeah, maybe we'll worry about you, but you can regain everyone's confidence in time. You aren't a stranger to fighting for what you want. I can promise that no one is looking down on you though. No one is perfect. We've all made mistakes, done things we wish we could take back. If you want some serious advice on coming back from bad choices, you should talk to your Aunt Karai sometime. I think she might have written the book on redemption."

Scout frowned, signing. "Thanks, but I'm pretty sure you haven't screwed up like this."

Yuuta swallowed hard as the memory rose, unbidden.

Anton came at him in a flurry of strikes that he flowed around with the ease of sentient water. No way was his nephew getting a hit on him today. He was in the zone.

"So, have you approached Cami yet?"

The zone was gone and he stumbled, barely arching back from the swipe of Anton's kick, which clipped the end of his beard.

"Of course not." He signed angrily as he whipped his tail out to drive Anton back and give himself some space.

Anton shook his head. "Come on. The semester is almost over. Soon, you won't be in a class with her anymore and you'll have missed your chance."

As if he didn't know that. It seemed like they had this conversation every time a girl caught his eye.

Anton rushed him again. "You can't keep passing on all these attainable girls."

Yuuta deftly deflected each blow away from himself. Like he didn't know who Anton thought was unattainable. He knew. Everyone knew. Except Anton and Alli. But Cami and every other girl who'd caught his eye were not attainable. He was a mutant rat. The world associated him with plague. And he couldn't even speak to help create the veneer of humanity.

He lashed out with a blade-hand strike, which Anton caught and twisted, flipping him over into the air.

"If you keep this up, you're going to end up alone."

Alone. Yes. One day Anton and Alli would realize the obvious and he would be an unnecessary third wheel. It was inevitable. One day, probably sooner than later, they would outgrow him and he would be truly and completely alone.

For a single instant his vision blurred red and all he could feel was the bitter unfairness of it all. In a moment of fury, he landed the fall upside down, catching the floor with one palm and swinging his downward momentum around. His tail flicked out first, snagging Anton's wrist and ripping his block away as the full force of Yuuta's powerful kick, carried by the pivoted weight of his body, slammed into Anton's temple.

The genuine surprise on Anton's face before he'd laid him out stayed burned in Yuuta's memory. A mistake he'd carry with him for the rest of his life probably. If anyone didn't deserve forgiveness, it was him.

He bowed his head, unable to look at her as he signed. "What I've done is worse."

"How?" Scout's fingers asked.

He sighed. She deserved to know the truth. Whether or not she would forgive him, whether or not he deserved it, who knew. "You know about Alli and Anton, right?"

Scout scoffed. "Everyone knows. Except them."

"Well, they actually figured it out months ago." His hands explained.

She tilted her head. "What?"

"It was back when I knocked him out." He clarified.

She shrugged, writing off the blow as just another unintentional sparring injury. It wasn't.

"So why haven't they been puke-inducingly happy?" She asked.

"Because of me."

She looked at him in puzzlement.

"I lost my temper, just for a moment, but I lost it. Completely. I didn't accidentally hurt Anton. In that moment, I really, really wanted to. And I did. I could've killed him."

Her frowned deepened. "But you didn't and I don't see what it has to do with him and Alli."

Now he really couldn't look at her. "The long-term consequences of my mistake have recently come to light. The brain damage from my attack caused Anton to lose his memory of a day. A very important day. One your sister needed him to remember. One that she was self-destructively broken without. I did that to them."

Swallowing hard, he looked up in time to see Scout's eyes widen in comprehension as the pieces of Alli's illness and near death fell into place.

"Yuuta, I..." Scout fumbled for something to say as she processed. It took her a second to digest it all, the enormity of how a loss of temper, for a ninja, could have such grave consequences. Yuuta was lucky Anton was alive, they'd all thought that when it happened, but now, in a strange twist that same mercy applied to Alli. Her shoulders slumped as she exhaled a helpless sigh. Yuuta's head was bowed in shame and she understood all too well how that felt.

She closed the distance between them, placing a hand on his furry bicep. He glanced at her, reluctantly, but given the limits of her communication gave her the courtesy of his attention. She lifted her hands, slow to form each word as she thought out what she wanted to say.

"You said yourself that it was a mistake." She shook her head. "I think it must be a ninja right-of-passage, at least for the more hot-tempered of us, to actually hurt someone we care about before we recognize the full impact of our losing it even for a second. Although, it does make me giving my dad a black eye pale in comparison."

He flinched and she backpedaled in a desperate effort to make it better. "But the second I did it, the second I gave into my anger and inability to control the situation, I regretted it. It's something I'll never forget. You're not alone in that feeling." She motioned for them to sit in the center of the room, he followed and sat facing her so the conversation could continue. "You're a good person who made a terrible mistake, Yuuta." She smiled, hopefully for the first time in a long while. "And I guess that makes two of us. So, maybe we can be less than perfect together?"

He managed a weak smile as he shifted to kneel in seiza position, signing "I hope so."

She moved to mirror him.

"Shall we see how rusty you are?"

Some of her old confidence resurfaced. "Bring it on."