April 12, 1994
"Watch out Potter!"
Harry looked up just in time to see a bludger zooming towards his head. He quickly ducked, pulled back into reality from his deep thoughts.
"What are you doing, Potter? You're going to get yourself killed before Saturday acting like that," Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor captain, chided.
"Sorry," Harry muttered quickly. "I was...distracted."
"Well get your head in the game. The final match is Saturday. This Saturday. We've got to-," but whatever they had to do was cut off by Fred and George Weasley joining them.
"We've heard Oliver," Fred said, exasperation changing his normal light tone.
"I can't see the bloody snitch in this dark, anyway," Harry added.
"Yeah, it's late. Let's call it a night," George told Wood.
"Fine, we're done, but same time tomorrow. We've got to…" Wood answered, but Harry never heard what they had to do. He was back lost in his thoughts as he made his way back to the castle. He had messed up big time, and now it was time to face the music.
At 5:45, he had walked out of his appointment to find Sirius in the waiting room. This wasn't unusual, but what was strange was the grim look on Sirius's face. It was rare for Sirius to greet Harry with anything but a bright smile. It didn't take long for Harry to figure out what was wrong. Sirius had him floo to Dumbledore's office, where Remus, the Headmaster, and Amelia Bones were waiting on them. When Sirius began questioning him, he knew he had been caught and was probably boiling in some very hot water, so he confessed everything to them. While he was there, the adults didn't discuss much, just listened to his tale. They mostly seemed concerned about keeping Harry safe, and he hoped that maybe he could get away with his deception. Once he was finished talking, Sirius brought him back to Remus's quarters, where his dinner was waiting on Remus's small dining table.
"I've got to go back to discuss some things with the other Order members. Eat, go to quidditch practice, and come back here immediately after. We will have a very long discussion when you return," Sirius warned, and Harry knew his hopes of not getting into trouble were dashed.
Harry had picked at his food dejectedly. What he hated most was not knowing what to expect. He wasn't afraid of Sirius; he knew the man wouldn't hurt him. Sirius had mentioned his grandfather giving out spankings, but Harry was pretty sure Sirius wouldn't discipline him in this way. Sirius wasn't really a yeller either. Even with the Hogsmeade incident, he had only raised his voice a couple of times in scolding Harry. No, Sirius wasn't going to yell at him or hit him, but what he was going to do was a mystery to Harry.
He sighed as he walked up the front steps of the castle. Sirius had let him come to quidditch practice. If he was going to take him off the team, surely he would not have allowed him to go to practice this evening. Then he thought about how over the summer Sirius had mentioned that if Harry put himself in too much danger this year, he would pull Harry out of Hogwarts. Now he felt sick. Would Sirius think ignoring the note was considered putting himself in danger, and would that be enough to withdraw him from the school he loved?
….
"What do you think, Amelia?" Dumbledore asked.
Amelia's hand stroked her own chin. She was deep in thought. Finally she sighed and took a seat.
"I think it would have been a lot better if Mr. Potter had brought this note to our attention when it was first sent."
Sirius snorted. "Trust me, I plan to make that very clear to Harry when I see him again."
Snape rolled his eyes, but Sirius pretended not to notice. He was too annoyed to get into an argument with the slimy git tonight.
Amelia sent him a knowing look before looking back at Dumbledore. "What concerns me more than the note is the scar pain. What do you think that could mean?"
Albus Dumbledore was rarely stumped, but to that he had no answer. "I am unsure. I would need to do more research, but given that our Harry is the only person to have such a scar, I'm not sure there is very much valuable information out there to find." Dumbledore glanced at Snape briefly, before turning his attention back to the group. "Has Harry ever mentioned his scar hurting before?"
Sirius shook his head. "Not to me, but Ron and Hermione said it hurt their first year whenever he was around Quirrell."
An ominous silence overtook the room. After a long minute, Dumbledore spoke once more. "I have an idea, but as I stated, I'd like to do more research. I will keep you informed of what I find out, Sirius."
….
Much too quickly for Harry, he arrived at the entrance to Remus's private suite and hesitated before opening the door.
"Harry?" Sirius's voice called out to him. The man emerged from Remus's spare bedroom. Once again, his eyes didn't hold the same joy they normally had, and Harry hated himself for being the reason it was gone. He pointed at the couch, and Harry slowly walked over and sat.
"Amelia is going to take the note back and examine it. Maybe there's something on it that could give us a clue as to who sent it," Sirius began to explain.
Harry nodded but didn't look at Sirius's face.
"She is also going to check into stationing aurors around the castle. They'll be here for added security," the older wizard continued. He watched as Harry's shoulders drooped. Sighing, he sat down on the coffee table directly in front of Harry. He reached out and gently took Harry's chin in his hand, turning the boy to look at him.
"Why didn't you tell me, Harry?" Sirius asked, his voice weary. He released Harry's chin and sat up straighter, waiting for an answer.
Harry looked back down and half-heartedly shrugged.
Sirius silently counted in his head, willing his temper to stay at bay. "A shrug is not an answer young man. You had a reason, and I want to know what it was," he lectured sternly.
Harry bit his bottom lip and picked at a loose string on the couch. His sad, green eyes looked back up at Sirius. "I just...Things were going so well. For the first time since I've been at Hogwarts, things were normal. I didn't have to worry about what Voldemort was doing or the extra security. I could just be normal. I didn't want anything to ruin that."
Sirius sighed and sat down beside Harry, pulling him into a sideways hug. "I can understand that Harry," he said softly as he held his son close, "but that's no excuse. I can't lose you, Pup. I just can't. I wish I could give you the most normal childhood you could imagine, but it's unfortunately not our reality." He loosened his grip on Harry, allowing them both to sit back up. He turned his body so that he was facing Harry. "How would you feel, Harry, if I did this? How would you feel if I was getting threats and just ignoring them? Hm?"
Harry's face looked miserable. Completely ashamed of himself, he looked down at the ground. "I would be upset," he admitted.
"Of course you would," Sirius answered. He could see how crestfallen his son was, and part of him wanted to just hug him and tell him it was all alright, but he knew he couldn't. "You and I came up with our rules not too long ago. What were the first two?"
Harry looked down at his legs as he tucked them under him. "Don't put myself in danger and don't lie." He looked back up at Sirius, "But technically, I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you…"
Sirius held up a hand to stop him. "Don't even try that, young man," he said sternly. "You know that withholding information is lying, and even if it wasn't, you lied directly to my face when I asked you if you were hiding anything."
Harry blushed. "Sorry," he said quietly.
Sirius inclined his head to accept the apology. "You also lied to Remus, and I expect you to apologize to him too."
"I will," Harry said quickly.
"It's his night to patrol the halls, so I'm not sure if he will be back before you go to bed, but you can talk to him in the morning. I know he would like to discuss some things with you," Sirius continued.
Harry cringed. "Ok," he said solemnly.
Sirius nearly chuckled at the horrified look on Harry's face. "He has a right to lecture you too. He cares about you, Pup. We both do. He's allowed to be upset that you put yourself in such danger."
Harry sighed and nodded. "I know, but…" he hesitated before continuing. "I really thought it was just a stupid prank. Like Malfoy did in the last match. I didn't really consider it putting myself in danger."
Sirius watched him a moment. He wanted to shake the boy, yell at him, get him to understand how ridiculous he was being. Make him care about his own life. But he knew none of those things would actually help Harry take his own safety seriously. He needed to help the child work it out on his own.
"Harry, what did the note say?"
Harry looked back up at him, confused. "That Voldemort would rise again, and that I would die," he answered as if Sirius had gone daft.
Sirius shuddered at the reply. He did not like how comfortable Harry sounded saying that. "Before that," he said, his voice hoarse again.
Harry thought about it. "Wormtail wasn't the only one," he quoted.
Sirius nodded. "Who at this school knows the nickname Wormtail besides you and the Order members that teach here?"
Harry pondered the question and blushed as he realized how foolish he'd been. "No one," he finally said, barely above a whisper.
Sirius looked at him pointedly. "Right, no one. But a death eater might know it," Sirius explained.
Harry was sure he had never felt so stupid in his life.
Sirius took a deep breath as he readied himself for the next part. "I do not like being lied to, Harry James. I believe we have discussed this before, have we not?"
Harry swallowed hard and nodded. "We have," he replied quietly.
"You are grounded for the next two weeks," Sirius told him with all the firmness he could.
"How will that work when I am at school?" Harry asked in confusion before Sirius had a chance to explain further.
"Moony has graciously agreed to let us stay in his quarters for the next two weeks. Over that time, you are only allowed out for breakfast, lunch, and your classes. You may attend your quidditch practices and game this week, but you will have dinner with me and all of your free time will be spent here," Sirius explained.
Harry took in the information. "So I can play Saturday?"
Sirius nodded once. "I have to admit, I really considered not letting you, but you can thank Ron for this one. He convinced me otherwise."
Harry knew he should be thankful that he wasn't being punished more harshly, but he felt it was a little unjust. "That's not really fair Sirius. None of the other students can be grounded to a teacher's quarters," he argued.
"Actually, professors have always been able to do so to their own children, you just don't know of any. And Remus is basically your uncle, so he's allowed. We actually already discussed it with Dumbledore, who happened to think it was a splendid idea, so don't even think you're getting out of it." Sirius watched as Harry deflated. He propped his legs up on the coffee table and pulled Harry into another sideways hug. "I actually think you are getting off quite easily. I'm telling you now that if you lie to me again, Harry, your broom will be on the ground for a minimum of one month, whether it's quidditch season or not. Understood?"
Harry nodded. "Yes, sir."
April 13, 1994
"It's good to see you alive," Ron told Harry over breakfast the next morning. "We thought Sirius had murdered you."
Harry couldn't help but laugh as Hermione rolled her eyes. "No," Harry began to explain, "but I am grounded. I can't leave Professor Lupin's quarters except for breakfast, lunch, and class. Sirius is staying there too."
"What about quidditch?" Ron asked nervously.
"Oh yeah, I can go to that as well. Sirius says I can thank you for that, so thanks. But then again, you two are who told on me, so maybe I shouldn't be thanking you at all."
Hermione and Ron both exchanged a nervous glance. "We're sorry Harry, but we were worried," Hermione began to explain, but Harry cut her off.
"I'm just kidding. I'm not mad at you two. You did the right thing, really," Harry reassured them. "I just wish I had told Sirius about it myself. I hated to see how disappointed he was."
A few minutes later, the owls arrived for the morning. Harry watched as Hedwig dropped a note he'd written in front of Cho. He hadn't given her much information, just that he had gotten into trouble with Sirius and couldn't hang out for a couple of weeks, and he apologized. She opened it and, after reading it over, looked up and met his eyes, frowning. Harry tried to shrug and mouth "sorry," but she just glared at him and turned back to her friends. Harry sighed and returned to picking at his breakfast. It was going to be a long two weeks.
….
Harry returned to Remus's quarters after his last class of the day, just as he was instructed. Sirius was working on some paperwork, preparing for Buckbeak's trial. He greeted Harry as warmly as ever. He asked him about his classes and the rest of his day before instructing him to work on his homework before dinner. As Harry sat working, he couldn't help but think about Cho. Under normal circumstances, they would be studying together right now. Then an idea popped into his head.
"Can I go to the library?" Harry asked, his voice a little too eager for a mundane trip to the library.
"You may not," Sirius answered, barely glancing up from his paperwork.
"What?!" Harry answered hotly.
"You heard me," Sirius responded.
"But what if I needed a book for an assignment? I can't get it just because I'm grounded?"
Sirius put his quill down and looked up. "If you truly needed a book, you could tell Remus and he could retrieve it for you, or you could go during your break in classes. But we both know you don't need a book. You want to meet up with your girlfriend," he explained calmly.
Harry scowled, though he knew Sirius was right. He sat back down in his chair and crossed his arms. "I hate being grounded," he mumbled.
A small laugh escaped Sirius before he could stop it. "You're not meant to enjoy it," he said flatly. He watched his son. He couldn't believe his eyes. Harry was pouting, actually pouting. Under normal circumstances, he would probably be miffed at his son's childish behavior, but Healer Williams had warned him this might happen. She had said that once Harry was really comfortable with him, he may revert to some childlike actions, such as pouting, whining, or even pitching fits. He had doubted her words when she said them, but seeing it with his own two eyes made Sirius both annoyed and excited. That woman must have some seer in her he thought to himself.
He watched Harry pout for a minute before picking his quill back up and stating firmly, "Get back to your homework." Harry sent him a glare, but Sirius was already back to studying the papers in front of him.
"Can I study in my room?" Harry asked in annoyance.
Sirius looked up. "I suppose so."
Harry slammed his book shut before stomping off to the spare bedroom and not-so-gently closing the door. Sirius sighed. It was going to be a very long two weeks indeed.
April 14, 1994
Harry stood outside Remus's classroom. He knew Remus was no longer upset with him. The two of them had talked the morning before, and Harry had sincerely apologized. But now Harry was second guessing everything. What if Remus did not want to give him private lessons anymore after the boy had lied to him? If Harry was being honest, he would admit that he looked forward to these defense lessons more so than anything else in his week, including quidditch. The only thing Harry enjoyed more was seeing Sirius every Tuesday, but now that he was seeing Sirius during all of his free time, whether he wanted to or not, even that was taking second place to his defense lessons. He was very grateful when Sirius agreed to still let him attend despite his grounding.
"Are you going to stand out there all night?" Remus called out to him.
Harry blushed and entered the room. "Sorry, I just thought...well I don't know what I thought. Never mind."
"You thought I was still angry at you and wouldn't want to meet tonight?" Remus asked, his eyebrows raising.
Harry nodded. "Yeah."
Remus motioned for Harry to sit. He stood up and walked around his desk, leaning on the front of it as he spoke. "I was never angry at you, Harry. And neither was Sirius for that matter. We were disappointed."
"I think that's worse," Harry replied, looking down at his shoes.
Remus smirked. "Yes, I suppose it is. The point is Harry," he knelt down in front of the boy so that Harry was looking him in the eyes, "that Sirius and I want you to care about your own safety the way we do. We love you, Harry." He emphasized each of the last four words, looking directly in Harry's eyes and refusing to let him look away.
Harry managed a slight smile. "Sirius said you were like my uncle, but I don't really think so."
"Oh?" Remus asked as he stood back up. He tried his best to sound curious and not hurt, but he couldn't help the knot in his stomach that came with those words.
Harry shook his head. "No, my only experience with an uncle was Uncle Vernon, and you're definitely nothing like him. But Sirius said that if something happens to him, that you would be my guardian, right?"
"Right," Remus nodded, feeling slightly confused.
"So doesn't that make you like my godfather?" Harry asked, a sly smile on his face.
Remus grinned. "I guess it does."
"Well, I have really good experiences with godfathers, so I'd rather call you that."
Remus tried his best to hide the tears welling in his eyes. "I'd like that very much, Harry."
The two hugged tightly for a minute before pulling apart. Remus patted his back. "We better get started," he told the boy.
Harry nodded. "What are we doing?"
Remus flicked his wand towards the blackboard. Suddenly written across it was "The best defense is trusting and relying on the people who care about me and want to keep me safe." A piece of parchment and quill appeared on the desk in front of Harry. "100 times," Remus said.
Harry groaned. "Really, Remus?"
Remus smirked and tapped his chin. "Now, what did I say would happen if you put yourself in danger after we started these lessons? Perhaps you would like that instead?"
Harry quickly shook his head. "No, never mind, I'll write."
April 16, 1994
"Come on Harry! Party in the Common Room!" George Weasley called out to him.
They had done it. They had beaten Slytherin to win the Quidditch cup. The match had been brutal, but in the end Gryffindor was victorious. Harry had caught the snitch just before Draco Malfoy could reach it. The cheers were deafening. Wood had cried happy tears on Harry's shoulder and Harry, along with the rest of the team, had been carried off the field on the shoulders of the crowd. As Harry lifted the cup high, he was sure that if dementors were around right now, he could produce the world's best patronus.
Harry turned back to Sirius and flashed his best puppy dog eyes pleadingly.
Sirius sighed and looked at his watch. "Go, but you are to be back in our quarters no later than 7:00."
"YES!" Harry whooped and was practically leaping as he turned around. Sirius reached out and grabbed his shoulder.
"No later than 7 young man, or I swear Harry I will march right into the Common Room and drag you out. Understood?" Sirius said sternly. He waited for Harry to agree before adding, "I'm so proud of you, Pup. Your dad would've been proud too. You were truly incredible."
"Thanks!" Harry answered brightly before hugging Sirius. Then he quickly ran off before Sirius could change his mind.
….
Sirius and Remus were walking together back to the quarters they were currently sharing, both of them smiling and laughing at the memories of their days at Hogwarts when James had helped Gryffindor win the quidditch cup. Just as they rounded the last corner before their destination, they saw Dumbledore waiting for them.
"Hello, Albus," Remus greeted. "Care to come in for some tea? Or maybe something a little more celebratory?"
Dumbledore chuckled. "I will come in, but I better stick with tea. As headmaster, I'm not supposed to pick sides," he answered, his eyes twinkling.
Once they were inside and seated, Dumbledore began. "I guess you are both wondering why I am here. I must first ask though, will Harry be arriving soon?"
Sirius shook his head. "No, I let him go to the Gryffindor party until 7, so I do not expect him back even a minute before," he answered, chuckling.
Dumbledore smiled. "Well, who could blame him? That is good to hear though. I would like to discuss this with you before we speak to Harry." He looked at Remus and Sirius's concerned faces and continued. "After some contemplation, I believe the pain in Harry's scar is due to the strengthening of Lord Voldemort. I believe when Tom attacked Harry that night, that he, most certainly unwillingly, forged some sort of connection between the two of them. I also believe that fortunately at this time, Tom is not aware of this connection. Therefore, I believe it would be to Harry's benefit to start learning occlumency. Are you familiar with it?"
Remus and Sirius both nodded, but Sirius said gloomily, "I know what it is, but I certainly don't know how to do it. Do you Remus?"
Remus shook his head. "Not at all. I've heard werewolves can sometimes have some natural ability to do it, but I've never really tested that theory. Are you an occlumens Albus?"
Dumbledore placed his fingertips together in front of his chin. "I am, but I admit it is not one of my better talents. However, a current member of the Order is not only one of the most accomplished occlumens of our time, but has also agreed to teach Harry."
Sirius sat up. "Well, who is it?"