Bucky had spent the rest of the night simply watching Evelyn as she continued to stare down at the ring, looking between it and him. They had gone back to the table and chairs, Sam insisting on celebrating and Sarah pouring more wine. Evelyn had sat back down, leaning against Bucky's side as he kept his arm around her, his chin on the top of her head. He didn't think that she had stopped smiling since he had asked her to marry him. She was laughing and joking and Bucky couldn't help but think how happy she looked. And a part of him was still shocked that he was the one who had made her this happy. He was the one who had done this.
Eventually, they figured they should get some rest for the evening. Sarah had left pillows and blankets on the sofas for them and Sam had told them that he would be at the dock in the morning if they wanted to come and join him. They had agreed, staying in the living room as everyone else moved upstairs, heading to bed.
"So," Evelyn said, shrugging her shoulders, "what do we do now?"
"Well, I guess we should get some sleep," Bucky told her.
She shrugged out of his jacket that she had been wearing, laying it down on one of the sofas. "I don't think I can sleep," she responded to him honestly. "I'm seriously running on adrenaline despite having been up since two a.m."
Bucky chuckled at her, slipping out of his boots and sitting on the edge of the sofa. Evelyn continued pacing, still staring down at the ring on her finger. Bucky watched her, leaning back on the sofa and resting his hands on top of his thighs. His lips remained turned upwards before she headed over to him, sinking down by his side.
"You're sure about this?" Bucky asked from her, keeping his voice down low, knowing that he didn't want to disturb everyone else in the house. Evelyn tilted her head upwards, her eyes meeting his and her glasses falling back down her nose.
"Do you think I would have said yes if I wasn't?" she wondered and Bucky went to shrug his shoulders at that point. "Listen to me," she said, moving to kneel on the sofa, kicking her trainers off in the process. She moved a hand to his shoulders and lifted one leg to the other side of his lap, perching over him. "You need to stop asking me if I'm sure, as though I have any hesitations."
"I still find it weird," Bucky replied.
"You find it weird?" Evelyn wondered from him. "Bucky, have you ever considered that there were times when I felt it was weird? Why would you even be interested in someone like me? I mean, I'm a workaholic. My idea of a good night is staying in with food. I'm boring…I have friends who have ripped into you numerous times…so I get it. There were so many times I wondered why you even wanted to date me."
"Are you kidding?"
"No," she replied. "I am trying to tell you that I get the insecurities, okay? But you don't need to do that anymore because I think we're pretty strong together. I just don't want you doubting yourself because, to me, you're everything."
Bucky took a long gulp then and nodded his head, smiling as she ran a hand over his cheek, stroking it softly. "Gotta say," he said to her, "I think that was perhaps the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."
She laughed as quietly as she possibly could at that comment and nodded her head. "Well, I have my moments," she said to him, leaning forwards to kiss him quickly. "So, no more asking me if I'm sure, okay? Because I'm sure."
"Got it," Bucky told her with a nod of his head.
"Besides," Evelyn said, shifting from his lap and sitting down beside him, "you really don't know what you've let yourself in for when my family get wind of me being engaged. If you think my mum is intense then just wait until you meet my grandma and my extended family."
"You see, that terrifies me more than facing other super soldiers," he admitted to her.
"It terrifies me too," Evelyn scoffed and Bucky moved, resting on his back on the sofa. Evelyn moved to lay on her side, pressed in between him and the cushions at the back of the sofa. "But we can try to avoid it for as long as possible. Although I don't know how long I can keep this from mum and dad."
She moved her hand to rest against his chest, Bucky moving an arm around her shoulders and his other hand going to hold onto hers. "Well, your dad might be expecting the news so I imagine you might not get away with hiding it for long."
Evelyn's brow furrowed at that piece of news. "You asked my dad?"
Bucky shrugged. "It felt like the right thing to do," he told her.
"That's very traditional of you," Evelyn said, "but thank you, I know that it would have meant a lot to him for you to have done that, Bucky."
"Least I could do," Bucky said, "but it does mean that they maybe won't be surprised."
Evelyn rolled her eyes. "I imagine my mum is already planning out the finer details of the wedding. I guess that's something that we have to think about."
"Whatever you want," Bucky said to her and she shook her head, propping herself up with a hand on her head, elbow bent. She patted Bucky's chest with both of their hands.
"Oh no," she warned him. "You're not getting away with that. If you think that you're leaving all of the decisions down to me then that's not happening. You are making the decisions too. This is a joint thing."
"You know I don't do well at choosing things," Bucky responded to her.
She did know that. She knew it all too well. He usually deferred to her on decisions. There had been times when she had forced him to pick things, needing him to realise on his own that he was free. He was free to choose what he wanted. Slowly, he was beginning to get round to that.
"Well, you know that I am not going to relent," she said to him. "You know that time in the store where I refused to leave until you picked something? Well, I can do that when planning an entire wedding, so just be honest with me."
"I'd be happy with whatever you want," Bucky said.
Shaking her head, she squeezed his hand. "No," she said. "This is your day as much as mine. So come on, let's just try it. Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding?"
"I don't mind-"
"-Not an answer," she interrupted him. "So come on, big wedding or small wedding?"
Bucky sighed, running his thumb over her knuckles before speaking. "Small," he said, "but you have a big family, Evie-"
"-Small is good," Evelyn responded firmly, not letting him try and get his way out of this. "Do you want to get married in a church or somewhere else?"
"Church," he said.
"Definitive answer," Evelyn said, nodding her head in appreciation at that. "Okay…chocolate cake or sponge cake?"
"Sponge cake," he said.
"Ah," she said. "We've hit our first bump right here."
Bucky chuckled at that, still trying to keep his voice down so as not to disturb anyone else in the house. Shaking his head, he moved the arm he kept around her shoulders, his hand tangling into her hair and pulling on it gently. "So, you don't complain about a small wedding, but you complain about the cake?"
She shrugged. "I would rather have a small wedding anyway," she said to him. "I don't enjoy being centre of attention. You know that…but I do really enjoy chocolate cake so we're going to have to compromise on that."
"Are you telling me that this could derail the entire marriage if I stick with my original answer?" he asked her.
"You know how seriously I take cake," she said to him. "But, as I said, we might be able to compromise. But if you don't compromise then perhaps this could throw the whole day into turmoil," she joked dramatically and Bucky continued smiling at her as she finished waving her hand in the air. Moving to rest her chin on his chest, she peered up to him and he continued staring at her.
"You're unbelievable," Bucky said to her.
"Still love me though?"
"Well…I guess so," Bucky said, his finger running over her engagement ring and stroking it softly.
They spent another hour or so talking about everything and nothing before Bucky heard the tiredness finally creep into Evelyn's voice. She rested her cheek by his shoulder on the pillow, still laid on her side. Bucky managed to reach for the blanket and tugged it upwards, covering both of them as he kept his arm around her and her hand in his. Closing his eyes as she finally gave into sleep by his side, Bucky realised that perhaps he could find peace.
…
Bucky was already awake by the time Evelyn woke up. She groggily lifted her head, feeling her neck aching slightly as she made the movement. Bucky's fingers were running through her hair, stroking it softly, his other hand behind his head after Evelyn had shifted from him in the middle of the night. She stifled a yawn into her fist and saw Bucky already staring at her. He moved his hand from behind his head, letting it go to stroke her hair from her face.
"Good morning," he said in a whisper.
"Morning," she grunted back. "What time is it?"
He lifted his wrist and checked his watch that sat there. "Just gone seven," he said to her.
"Hmm," she mumbled. That meant they had only had about four hours sleep. She would be longing for her bed by the time they touched down in D.C. later that day. "What time do we have to be back at the airport?"
"Flight is at three," he said to her.
"And we need to go and get our case from the hotel considering we never checked in," she said. "They're going to wonder where the hell we were."
Bucky shrugged. "We paid for it so it's not like they lost money," he told her. "But technically we did lose money, especially because I paid for an executive suite."
"You should have said."
Bucky shook his head. "I'd rather have had the night we had instead," he told her.
"I can agree with you on that one," she whispered, looking at the ring once more. "But we should get up before everyone else starts to stir."
She began to move, climbing over him, but Bucky grabbed hold of her by the waist, stopping her from escaping any further. He reached out his arms, keeping her straddled in his lap. Evelyn wondered what he was doing before he reached up and kissed her. She knew that her breath couldn't have been pleasant. She had drunk numerous glasses of white wine and hadn't brushed her teeth the night before. But that didn't seem to deter Bucky.
"I'd say that you two should get a room, but you already have one," Sam's voice entered their ears.
Evelyn pulled back, sitting back on her knees as Sam stood in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, arms folded over his chest and an entertained look on his face. Bucky placed his hands behind his head, a smile remaining on his face that even Sam couldn't get rid of, not today.
"Sorry," Evelyn was the one to say.
"You're cool," Sam said to them. "Listen, there's a shower down here if you want to freshen up. I left a spare toothbrush there as well. I'm going to make breakfast and then head on back to the boat."
"Okay," Evelyn said, pushing herself from Bucky who remained laid on the sofa. "You sure you don't mind if I get in the shower? I could do to freshen up."
"Go for it," Sam said with a nod.
She took off for the downstairs bathroom then, bypassing Sam with a smile as he noted her red cheeks at being caught with Bucky. He chuckled once she had gone, brow arching over at Bucky. "Good night?" he asked from him.
"Could say that," Bucky responded.
"Well, I'm happy for you, man," Sam said to him. "Listen, I've been thinking about the shield even more and I…well…before you go I think we need to have a talk, just us two? You okay with that?"
"Of course," Bucky nodded his head.
"Great," Sam nodded. "Anyway, I'm going to make pancakes for breakfast. The boys should be up as soon as they smell them cooking."
"Need a hand?" Bucky wondered, moving to sit up.
"I forgot that you were the pancake master," Sam responded, remembering how he had found out that it was Bucky's breakfast speciality for Evelyn. "But I have to say, I don't know if you're going to be as good as me."
"Only one way to test that theory," Bucky said.
"You challenging me?"
"Oh, I'm definitely challenging you."
"Then challenge accepted."
They spent time moving around the kitchen, both of them preparing their own batter and heating the pans up. Evelyn eventually reappeared from the bathroom, her hair damp and hanging in soft curls down her back. She smelled fresh, but she had to admit that she was looking forward to changing into fresh clothes. She looked at the sight in the kitchen as AJ and Cass ran into the room, asking how long it would be before breakfast was served. Sarah soon joined afterwards, wearing jeans and a blue top, her hair in a ponytail.
Sitting around the kitchen table, each of them tasted the pancakes without knowing who had cooked them, Sam and Bucky each determined to win this little competition they had going on with each other. Evelyn had to admit that she'd had enough of Bucky's pancakes to know which one was his. That was until she guessed wrong.
"You don't know your own fiancée's pancake?" Sam asked from her.
"What?" Evelyn asked, eyes widening. "These taste like Bucky's."
"Nope," Bucky said with a shake of his head, sitting back in his chair, his arm staying over the back of Evelyn's seat. "They're Sam's and you just said you preferred them."
"Don't you two be arguing before you even get married," Sarah jumped in, sipping on her coffee.
"They seriously taste like the ones you make…I just figured you'd added something else…because they are lighter," Evelyn said.
Bucky shook his head, lips tugging upwards. "Keep digging that hole," he encouraged her and she shook her head. "I can't believe you don't know the difference. I'm not going to live this down, you know that, right?"
"Oh, you are definitely never living it down," Sam said, laughing as he did so.
"I'm sorry," Evelyn said, still laughing as she moved her stare to Bucky.
"I might forgive you one day," he teased her and Sam finally stood up.
"Now that I've proven myself, I'm going to head down to the boat."
"Need a hand?" Bucky asked him.
"Couldn't hurt," Sam responded.
"I'll be there in a bit, just let me tidy this up," Sarah said.
"I'll give you a hand, Sarah," Evelyn said, moving to take hold of the plates and head to the sink with them. Bucky and Sam prepared to leave as Cass and AJ scurried off outside. Bucky asked Evelyn if she would be okay before they went. She nodded as she continued clearing the table and he moved a hand to her hip as he stood behind her, bending down and kissing her chastely as he completed the movement, Evelyn craning her neck to the side to look up to him.
Once Bucky and Sam had gone, both of them still winding each other up over their competition, Evelyn brushed her hair behind her ears and went to help Sarah in the kitchen.
"I swear that Sam can cook, but all he does is leave a mess," she said.
Evelyn smiled at that. "I would criticise him, but unfortunately I am just the same when I cook anything. I can't do it without making a mess."
"Doubt it is as bad as this," Sarah said, beginning to wash dishes as Evelyn found the towel to dry them. "You don't need to do that, Evelyn."
"I insist," she responded. "Besides, I'm not exactly much use on the boat, but don't tell Bucky that."
Sarah's lips arched at hearing that. "So, that might not have been what you were expecting last night, I guess?" she asked from Evelyn who shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, being proposed to outside of our house?"
"I never really thought about when or where he would propose."
"But you knew that he would?" Sarah asked, still washing the dishes.
Evelyn bit down on the inside of her cheek. "Promise you won't tell Sam this," she said Sarah, "but I kind of found the ring weeks ago when I was clearing out his drawer. I never said anything because I didn't know if I had got the wrong idea…and I don't want Bucky knowing that I had suspicions."
"So, you already knew," she said with a meaningful nod. "You played it quite cool last night."
"Well, I had no idea that he was going to propose then," Evelyn said. "I mean, it came as a shock that he did, but I guess something must have made him think that it was the right time."
"Whatever it was, it was sweet," Sarah admitted. "And clearly you two are now entering the pre-honeymoon phase. They always say that the time after just getting engaged and before you actually begin planning the wedding is bliss."
"I can see that," Evelyn said. "I mean, I know that I have to tell people eventually, but I kind of like living in this bubble for a little while. Does that make sense?"
"Perfect sense," she agreed and Evelyn continued drying the plates, stacking them on top of each other on the side considering she had no idea which cabinet they went in. "And Sam does speak very highly of both of you. He…that shield that he has…he's thought long and hard over it. He told me about how you listened to him."
Evelyn nodded. "I just didn't want him to make a brash decision," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "He was conflicted over it, but I think after everything that has happened with Walker…well…he knows that it doesn't belong with someone who has the potential to abuse it again."
"I think so too," Sarah said, knowing that she had to have a talk with her brother about the shield eventually.
…
Evelyn had gone done with Sarah to the dock to find Sam and Bucky working on something. Evelyn had almost struggled not to laugh as Sarah told her brother that the water pump was not the issue and she had no idea why he was still working on it. Sam had relented after she had told him to move and Bucky had followed, smiling to her and slapping Sam on the back as they walked away, still laughing loudly.
"Hey," Evelyn said to Bucky as she went with them, knowing that she would be of no use to Sarah. Besides, she had friends who were already coming around her to help and she definitely knew what she was doing. "We should think about heading to the airport in a few hours."
"Yeah," Bucky said to her. "There's just something that we need to discuss."
"Sorry, Evie, I won't keep him long," Sam said to her.
"It's fine," Evelyn said. "Do you want me to meet you back at the house in an hour? We can grab our stuff on the way back to the airport."
"I'll drive you," Sam said them.
"You sure?" Bucky wondered.
"Of course," Sam nodded his head.
"Thanks, Sam," Evelyn said. "Listen, I'll see you in an hour."
"Don't get lost," Bucky taunted her and she nudged him in the stomach with her elbow. He chuckled and gave her hand a final squeeze before she walked in the opposite direction, heading along the water's front. She was still wearing Bucky's jacket, keeping it tugged tightly around her body as she sauntered in the opposite direction and Bucky wondered what she was thinking. Watching her go, Bucky kept his eyes on her back, seeing her tuck her hair behind her ears in the breeze.
"You've really got it bad," Sam commented, noticing Bucky's staring.
"Not going to disagree with you on that one," Bucky nodded.
They made the walk back to the house and once they were there, Bucky waited outside, noticing the padding on the trees and he wondered if Sam had been practicing with the shield already. When he came back out, Bucky watched him intently as he held the shield in his fingertips. Bucky felt himself take a deep breath at the sight, his mind instantly going back to Steve. He could still remember the first time he had seen Steve with the shield. He remembered it so well.
But now it was Sam's shield. He threw it over to Bucky who caught it expertly, holding it into his arm and peering down onto it.
"Feels weird, right?" Sam asked from Bucky. "The legacy of that shield is complicated, to say the least."
Bucky kept hold of it, looking to Sam and picking his words that he had already thought about so many times before. "When Steve told me what he was planning I don't think either of us really understood what it felt like for a black man to be handed the shield. How could we?" Bucky asked. "I owe you an apology." He had wanted to say that for a while. "I'm sorry," he reached out, handing the shield back over to Sam.
Sam took hold of it. "Thank you," he said, cradling it against his chest and keeping his stare on Bucky who took a step back.
"What happened with Walker wasn't your fault," Bucky said to him. "I get it…it's just that's shield was the closest thing I had left to a family and so when you retired it…it made me feel like I had nothing left. It made me question everything…you…Steve…me…even what I had with Evelyn. You know, I've got Steve's book and I just figured that if it worked for him then it would work for me."
Bucky looked to the book he had pulled out of his pocket, finding it opening to the page with the names he kept there. He flipped over to the following page, seeing all of the details that he had written down on Evelyn that he kept there. His Evelyn. He moved his gaze from it and looked off to the side, letting out a shaky breath.
Sam nodded his head, realising that this was the first time Bucky had truly ever opened up to him and told him what he had been feeling. There were no cocky remarks. There were no arrogant statements. This was Bucky. This was the real Bucky.
"I understand," Sam promised him gently, drawing his gaze back. "But Steve is gone," Sam said and Bucky looked away, nodding softly. "And this might be a surprise," Sam said and he threw the shield at the padding on the tree, letting it come back to him and catching it. "But it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You have got to stop looking to other people to tell you who you are," he said, throwing the shield again, this time letting it rebound for Bucky to take hold of it. "Let me ask you," Sam asked from him, "do you know why you still have those nightmares?"
Looking down to the shield he held for a moment, Bucky then picked his gaze up and answered him truthfully. "Some nights they're not so bad," he said to him. "When I…when I have Evie…but yeah…they're always there. And that means I remember what I did. It means a part of him is still there…which means a part of the Winter Soldier is still in me."
He tossed the shield again, this time Sam catching it on the way back.
"Do you want some tough love?" Sam asked and Bucky nodded. "If you want to climb out of that hole you're in then you need to do the work."
"I've been making amends," Bucky said.
"No, you weren't amending, you were avenging," Sam responded. "You were stopping all of the wrong doings you'd done as the Winter Soldier. And I get that, Bucky. I get why you wanted to do that because you thought that it would bring you peace and you wanted to protect Evelyn from any repercussions. But look at the Mardox's…they wanted revenge on you for what you had done to their mother. And what they did was indefensible…but there must be other people on that list who don't want revenge. They just want answers and closure. You want to feel better…and so you say sorry…but I bet there's at least one person in that book who longs for closure."
"Try a dozen," Bucky responded in a whisper.
"That's cool," Sam said, "but start with one because then I think you'll move on. And you want that, don't you? You've already started moving on…but you have a conscience, Buck. I've seen it so many times, especially when it comes to her."
He motioned behind Bucky to see Evelyn walking in the distance along the water's edge, still staring out over it, clearly having caught them up on her walk. Bucky turned his stare onto her and he nodded.
"She's good for you and she loves you," Sam said to him. "She knows that you have a past that you need to work through, but what you've been doing isn't working through that past, not really. And I think if you want that quiet life with Evelyn…that future where you aren't scared of pushing her away or closing yourself off…then you need to do this."
Bucky could only stare at Evelyn the entire time Sam spoke, watching her move around at a glacial pace, her mind clearly elsewhere. Nodding his head, he gulped and finally turned back to Sam. "Good talk," he said, reaching out to take his hand. Sam returned the action, both of them coming to some form of mutual understanding. They would be there for each other.
"Listen, you know that Karli isn't going to quit, right?" Sam checked with Bucky who nodded with a sad smile.
"Let me know when you have a lead," he said to him.
"And what are you going to do in the meantime?" Sam wondered as Bucky dropped his hand and turned to look back to Evelyn.
"I guess I have amends to make," he said, "and a wedding to plan."
Sam chuckled at that as Evelyn finally came towards them, aware that they had to go soon. She had her arms folded over herself as she approached, looking between them. "You two good?" she checked.
"We're good," Sam said.
"So…friends?" she tested.
"Well, colleagues," Bucky said with a glint in his eye.
Sam chuckled. "Yeah, just partners."
"Nah, colleagues," Bucky corrected him.
"Well, partners sound better."
"But that's not-"
"-As much as I hate breaking up this beautiful conversation," Evelyn interrupted, "we should really get going and I don't think you guys have time to finish this debate."
"Perhaps not," Sam said to him. "Come on, I'll take this inside and get the keys for the truck then we can go."
"Thanks, Sam," Evelyn said and he rushed back into the house as she looked up to Bucky. "Everything okay?"
"Will be," Bucky promised her, moving to brush her hair behind her shoulder, watching her and thinking about what Sam had just said to her. "I will be."
…
Sam had dropped Evelyn and Bucky off at the airport after they had grabbed their stuff from their hotel. Evelyn had hugged him tightly, telling him to let them know when he was back in D.C. He promised he would as Bucky carried the suitcase in his hand, Evelyn holding onto the holdall with the tickets inside of it alongside other things she had packed to get easy access to. Sam had dropped them off, seeing them walk into the terminal, Evelyn searching for the tickets in the bag as Bucky spoke to her. He chuckled at the sight of them, shaking his head and then climbing into his truck to head back to the dock to have a talk with his sister.
The flight back to D.C. had been on time and thankfully they had gotten out of the airport quickly. Taking the metro back into the centre of D.C., Bucky felt Evelyn rest her head on his shoulder. Looking down, he saw that she had begun to doze off. His lips arched as he continued to stare out of the window, his gaze set on the passing scenery until they were near their stop. He woke her gently, keeping hold of her hand as she tried not to yawn loudly and they began the short walk back to the apartment.
"Home sweet home," Evelyn said once she had opened the door.
Bucky left the suitcase by the sideboard as Evelyn shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up, leaving her phone on the side.
"Do you want to order some food in?" Bucky asked her, seeing that it had gone eight and they hadn't had dinner.
"Yeah," Evelyn said. "I have no energy to cook and I think the cupboards are probably empty. Do you want to order and I'll unpack this?"
"Any preference?" Bucky asked, grabbing his phone from his pocket.
"Surprise me," she said and took the case into the bedroom as Bucky nodded his head.
"Pizza it is," he said and she turned her head behind her to smile to him.
"I was hoping you'd say that."
"So you didn't want to be surprised," Bucky retorted.
"Just making sure you know me as well as you claim," she called back and went into the bedroom, leaving Bucky chuckling after her.
He could hear her unpacking in the bedroom as he sat down on the sofa and opened up the book, thinking back to the old man he had met in New York while he had been living there during his time away from Evelyn. He remembered exactly who the man was as soon as he saw the photo of his son. He hadn't really been able to stop thinking about him. He had been kind to Bucky. He had seen that Bucky was sad and he had asked him what was going on when they bumped into each other. And Bucky had told him.
"You know, the best way to get over heartbreak is to move on," Yori said to Bucky as they sat in the same restaurant they had been coming to for the past few weeks since Bucky had met him and struck up conversation with him, something about the man striking to him.
"Nah," Bucky said with a shake of his head, arms folded on the surface in front of him as the waitress behind the counter dashed around. "I don't think I want to get over her."
"Have you even tried?" Yori asked from him. "This girl…if she meant that much to you then why don't you just go back to her?"
"Because she deserves better," Bucky responded with a shrug of his shoulders. "I hurt her. I hurt her pretty badly and I don't think that I can make things right."
"So you're never going to move on?"
"I wouldn't say never," Bucky responded with a shake of his head. "Just that I'm not in the right place to move on."
"And you only knew her for a few weeks?" Yori checked with him.
"Ridiculous, right?" Bucky commented, downing the drink in front of him and shaking his head profusely. "You shouldn't feel this way about someone you've known for such a short space of time, should you? But she's constantly in my head. She's constantly there and I just don't know how to stop thinking about her."
"I've told you, by trying to move on," Yori said.
"I see you guys didn't order the usual," the waitress behind the counter said and she continued moving around, clearing plates in front of her as Bucky nodded, smiling awkwardly but politely as Yori turned to look to him and she busied herself with her work.
"You should ask her on a date," he said, but Bucky pulled a face, shaking his head. But Yori was already moving off, doing his own thing. "He would like to take you on a date…perhaps dancing?"
"No…" Bucky said quickly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry about him. I-"
"-Why?" she interrupted. "I'm game."
Bucky was slightly stunned at that. He didn't think that she would agree so easily. But Bucky couldn't do this. He couldn't date someone else. It would be unfair. He had no doubt that this woman was lovely. She always seemed pleasant whenever they were eating their lunch. But the simple fact of the matter was that Bucky was still pining over Evelyn. It would be unfair even to lead someone else on.
"That's sweet," Bucky said to her, "but honestly, it's fine. I'm not in the right head space…and I don't want to be disingenuous…"
"Getting over a relationship?" she asked from him.
Bucky shrugged. "Something like that."
"I get it," she said to him with a nod. "Listen, just come by here tomorrow anyway. I get off work at ten. No date…just casually hanging out."
"I really don't want to intrude-"
"-I insist," she said and with that she was already dashing around to the kitchen again as Bucky looked to Yori, his eyes wide and his head shaking back and forth, unable to believe what had just happened.
"Seriously?" he asked from him, but the old man just chuckled to himself for a moment as Bucky downed his second drink out of embarrassment. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Shaking his head back and forth, he did his best to push it to the back of his mind before Yori noticed the plate of mochi being served and his face fell.
He began talking about his son and Bucky knew that this was the man. This was the man whose son he had killed.
"Bucky, I think that's the buzzer!" Evelyn's voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he stood up. She was right. She was in the bathroom, having gone to shower and change. Bucky was amazed that the food had gotten there so quick, but she did live just around the corner from the pizza place.
He went down to collect the food, paying for it and heading back up with the pizza box. Evelyn was leaving the bathroom, wearing her blue and white striped pyjamas, her hair tied up on top of her head. "That smells amazing," Evelyn said to Bucky and she grabbed two glasses and filled them with water. "I think I might just eat this and then head to bed. I'm shattered, I don't know about you."
"An early night sounds good," Bucky could agree with her on that. "Listen, Evie, there's something I need to talk to you about."
"You okay?" she asked as he placed the box on the coffee table and sat on the sofa. Heading into the living area, she put the glasses down on the table. Sitting down next to Bucky, she folded one leg underneath her body as he spoke, his hands clasped together in his lap.
"I was talking to Sam earlier," Bucky said to her in a gentle tone. "He asked me if I was still having nightmares...amongst other things."
Evelyn nodded, keeping quiet to let Bucky continued with whatever it was he wanted to tell her.
"I told him that they were still there. I mean…some nights they're not so bad…usually on nights when you're there," Bucky said. "But then he told me about how I haven't been making up for what I did. The names in my book…finding the people who I helped while I was the Winter Soldier…that's just avenging and not amending. There are people's names in there, Evie, that…people who I can give closure to. People whose loved ones I killed while I was the Winter Soldier who deserve to know what happened to them."
Evelyn gulped quietly, seeing the anguish in Bucky's face as he spoke.
"There was a man I met while I was in New York," Bucky said to Evelyn. "When I left D.C. after what happened to you, I went to Brooklyn for a short while and there was this man there who I recognised…Yori Nakajima…he was kind to me. We went for lunch every Wednesday together and he listened to me talk about you. He tried to give me advice, convince me to move on…but I knew I couldn't. It was only when I went to his apartment one night did I see the memorial…the picture of his son."
Bucky's eyes widened and Evelyn still kept silent, feeling unable to speak or say anything to him. She didn't know what more she could say. She was struggling to find the right words. She was struggling to understand what it was Bucky was feeling.
"I had been sent out on an assassination," Bucky said to Evelyn, still looking down at his lap. "It was Hotel Inessa…HYDRA had someone who needed to be silenced. I went there and I did the job that I was supposed to do. But there was this boy…I can still see his face…he was at the end of the corridor trying to get into his hotel room. His hand was shaking. He must have been terrified. He'd seen me murder someone."
Evelyn knew where this was going. She knew exactly what he was going to say. Holding her breath, she tried not to think the worst, but that was proving to be difficult. Closing her eyes, she listened on as Bucky continued telling her the story.
"HYDRA had trained me never to leave any witnesses," Bucky said to her. "You can't be a great assassin if you leave witnesses. I…I don't even remember feeling anything, Evie. I just walked up to him as he pleaded for his life. He begged me not to kill him…said that he wouldn't tell a soul what he'd seen. But I couldn't let him get away. I couldn't let that happen. That's not what I was programmed to do."
There was silence in the apartment then, the atmosphere tense as Bucky sniffed and looked to the ceiling, shaking his head back and forth. He said nothing as Evelyn peered to him, her mouth dry as she struggled to find words for a few moments.
"He was his son, wasn't he? Yori's son was the one in the hotel?" she asked and Bucky nodded.
"And I killed him," he said.
"You didn't know what you were doing, Bucky," Evelyn said with a shake of her head. "HYDRA controlled you."
"But I still did it, sweetheart," Bucky said to her, turning to look down to her and seeing the look in her eye. Even after what he had just said, she was still defending him, still looking at him as though he was the one who deserved her sympathy. "And if what Sam said is right, then perhaps I do need to make amends…I need to give Yori closure. There are so many people in that book who deserve it."
He pulled the book out and looked down onto it, holding it tightly in his hands.
"Perhaps Sam has a point," Evelyn whispered, "but you know that…if you do this…if you choose to give people closure then you won't be on your own."
She moved out, taking hold of his hand inside of hers and squeezing it. Bucky turned to look to her again, searching her stare.
"Because they're not the only ones who deserve closure, Bucky," she said to him in a whisper. "You deserve it too. And you might not think that, but it's true. You deserve to move on."
"Evie," Bucky gulped, "the things I've done…the people I have to see…they're the ones in my nightmares. The things I have done, you don't know everything and if it comes out-"
"-Hey," Evelyn interrupted him. She knew what he was going to say to her. "Nothing that you did as the Winter Soldier would turn me against you, James Buchanan Barnes," she said his full name. "Do you understand?"
"You sure?"
"We talked about this," she reminded him. "I'm with you, Bucky. What is it they say in the vows, for better…for worse? Well, we might not have said the vows yet, but we will. And I am going nowhere. I am staying by you through this. We'll work through it."
"I love you," was the only thing that he could say to her and she nodded.
"I love you too," she said. "Come here."
She moved then, her arm going around Bucky's shoulders as she felt him rest his head on by her shoulder and chest. He moved his arms around her waist. She kept her arm around his shoulders, one hand massaging the muscle there and the other going to rest on top of his arm as she kept him in her grip. He closed his eyes and allowed himself the comfort for those few moments, knowing that what he had to do would be tough. He wasn't going to pretend otherwise.
…
Sally Andrews stood in the park in New York City, wondering how long she was going to have to wait for Karli to make her appearance. She had been patient, well, as patient as she could be. She had heard about what happened in Riga. Since then, it has been difficult to locate and meet with Karli, but eventually she had found a way through. She had been sent an encrypted message to meet her in this location. She had sat and nursed a cup of tea in her hands, waiting for her to make her appearance. Checking the watch on her wrist, she saw that she was half an hour late.
She was about to quit on her, but then someone sat down on the bench besides her. She wore jeans and a black, leather jacket, the hood of it pulled up on her head. She lowered it after a moment and turned to Sally. "Sal," she spoke her name with such familiarity. "How's America treating you?"
"Surprisingly well," Sally said to her with a nod of her head. "I'm one of the lucky ones the GRC haven't decided to screw with. I've seen the Patch Act and the plans they have. I'm working with other lawyers trying to fight it."
"And do you think it will work? When has the law ever helped us before?"
"I know," Sally said, "but I'm fighting it as hard as I can."
"I don't doubt it," Karli said. "But the point is that these people don't understand words, Sal. They only understand one thing and you know that."
Sally sighed, but nodded her head, tossing a hand through her brunette bob. "I know," she said, "and that's why I have a proposition for you. I've been working for this woman who got in contact with me. She knows I'm part of the group and she has some great contacts. She's been building them up while she is in jail."
Karli looked to the sky and shook her head. "Let me guess, Verity Mardox?" she checked with her.
"She said you two knew each other," Sally said and sipped on her drink. "She also said that she knows you're the one who betrayed her, but she's willing to look past that. She needs your help."
Karli laughed at that, looking to the blue sky above her for a few seconds. Shaking her head, she looked back over to Sally. "Why would I help her? I already have connections," Karli said. "I'm meeting someone tomorrow who can help us further our cause and the only thing he wants is revenge on Sam Wilson."
"And you think that one man is enough?" Sally questioned from her.
Karli arched a brow. "What are you saying?"
"I am saying that if you truly want a revolution then you need as many contacts as possible. Verity has those. She had been doing research before she was put in a cell…she has money…she is willing to use it to help the cause to buy whatever it is that needs buying from whoever it needs buying from," Sally continued to push Karli. "One man with a vengeance is not enough."
"And what is Verity if not one woman with a vengeance?" Karli questioned from Sally. "Don't tell me that she is offering her money and contacts out of the goodness of her heart."
"What she wants is personal," Sally admitted. "But she has the contacts we need, Karli. She has the information and the contacts to further this revolution. You know that."
"So what?" Karli asked. "You want us to help break her out of jail again?"
"You have people on the inside still, right? A plan is in place, but we just need some help," Sally said. "Once she is free she has promised to give you everything she has and in return she gets the Winter Soldier and his girlfriend."
Karli remained silent at that piece of information. She said nothing, not knowing what she could say. She was struggling with words. She was struggling to think coherently. Instead, Sally continued talking.
"Verity can open doors and you know that," Sally hissed. "She is a good ally and you turned on her for…what? Some boring little museum curator?"
"I know what I did."
"It is two lives for who knows how many?" Sally continued pushing her, needing an answer on this as soon as possible. "What does she matter? She's nothing special."
"I'll think about it," Karli offered her and moved to stand up.
Sally shook her head. "Are you serious about this or not?" she said as Karli began to walk away. "We either start this revolution or we fail and the GRC win. Which one do you want?"
But Karli continued walking away, hands stuffed in her pockets and her mind racing with what to do for the best.
….
Evelyn could hardly hide the engagement ring on her finger when she went into work the following morning. Rebecca had first noticed it and began fawning over it. Evelyn had phoned her parents that morning, telling them the news, but they had to admit to her they knew it was coming and doubted that she would say no. She'd then called Lisa and Maria on the walk to work, Bucky having to go to his therapist appointment and heading in a different direction to her and leaving her to tell them the news. It had been a day of constant messages of congratulations on her phone, her parents having told her entire family of her engagement. She tried to message people back as the texts came in, but she still had work that needed to be done.
She walked around the exhibit feeling as though she was still floating on air. She would find her gaze drop down onto the ring, unable to stop staring at it. She had been thinking more and more about what this now meant for the future, but she didn't want to rush things. She quite liked the idea of spending some time being engaged.
"Evelyn."
Turning around at the sound of her name, she froze as she saw him stood there. He was wearing a blue jacket and jeans, looking like a civilian. Evelyn felt her stomach churn at the sight of him. The museum was quiet, due to close in another five minutes. No doubt he had waited until it was quiet before he turned up.
"You shouldn't be here," she said to him, shaking her head and remembering how Bucky had come back to her in Riga, cut up and bruised. Evelyn held the clipboard she had been carrying to her chest, cradling it there as he moved towards her. She took a step back and he almost looked hurt as she made the movement. It was like she was scared of him. "I mean it, John, you need to go."
"I just want to talk," he said, holding his hands up defensively.
"I don't know what there is to talk about," she said to him and it was then when he noted it. He could see the ring on her finger as she clutched the board. Pointing to it, he gulped once and nodded.
"You got engaged?" he asked from her.
"Yeah," she responded.
"To Bucky?"
"Well, he was the only guy I was seeing," Evelyn retorted.
Walker nodded. "Of course…yeah…well…I guess I should say congratulations."
"Thanks," Evelyn said back, but her tone held no gratitude. "But you shouldn't be here, John."
"I just…I need to know where it is, Evelyn."
"Where what is?" she asked from him.
"Don't play dumb, Evelyn, we both know you're anything but," he said with a shake of his head. "You must know what happened to me. You know how they hauled my ass in front of the council and stripped me of everything…my title…my authority…they didn't even give me a fair trial. They didn't let me tell them about the circumstances."
"You murdered someone," Evelyn said to him. "You killed that kid out of revenge, John."
"He killed my best friend," John said, his voice becoming terse as he spoke to her. "He murdered my best friend."
"But he didn't, did he?" Evelyn said to him, looking up to him. "He didn't kill Lemar."
"Bucky's been in your head, hasn't he?" John asked from her.
"Bucky just told me what happened," Evelyn said to him firmly. "And even if that boy had killed Lemar, the point is that Captain America doesn't get revenge. He doesn't get revenge because…he…he has to be a figurehead. And I told you that this would be too much pressure for you. I warned you."
"I can handle it," John said to her. "But no one understands what it takes to be Captain America. You spend your whole life researching and even you don't know."
"Okay, I'm done with this," Evelyn said.
She reached for her bag that she had been carrying round with her, prepared to leave as soon as she had finished in the exhibit. She grabbed it from the bench it had been sat on and slung it over her shoulder. She left her clipboard in the cupboard by the exhibit, locking it as John continued speaking to her.
"But I'm not done, Evelyn," John said. "I'm not done with any of this."
"You need to move on," Evelyn said and she began walking away, but John was by her side, completely unrelenting. "You're not Captain America anymore. You're lucky that they let you walk away and didn't send you to jail. Do you get that?" she demanded, thinking about Isaiah and what he had gone through.
"Evie, you okay?" Charlie asked, standing up from his desk as he saw her approach.
She nodded her head in his direction, "Fine, I'm heading out."
"Evelyn, come on," Walker complained as Charlie looked to him.
"Sir, please-"
"-I'm Captain America," Walker interrupted him and Charlie moved then, standing in front of him as Evelyn walked by. She stood behind Charlie and moved her hand to his arm, not wanting him to get involved in this.
"Charlie, it's fine," Evelyn promised him. "Bucky should be outside. We're going for dinner and unless John," she hissed his name, emphasising that was simply who he was, "wants to piss him off then he'll just walk away."
"Just tell me where it is," John said to Evelyn as she opened the door and he brushed by Charlie. "Evelyn, I know that Bucky will never tell me so just let me know."
"I don't know," Evelyn said, moving down the steps of the museum as Charlie stood at the top of the stairs, noticing Bucky waiting in the distance. He was more inclined to let Bucky deal with John, considering the strength the two of them had. But he was going to keep an eye on things.
"That's bullshit and you know it," John said and he grabbed hold of her by the arm, his grip tight and stopping her from moving away. "Just tell me where the shield is."
"Get the hell off of her."
Bucky was there in an instant, dressed in a black shirt with jacket and trousers. He had booked a table that night at their favourite restaurant to celebrate their engagement. But Walker was threatening on ruining that. Bucky's hand instantly went to Walker's wrist, lifting it so that he removed his hand from Evelyn. Bucky's glare on the man increased. "Did I not warn you before?" Bucky demanded from him. "Leave her alone."
"Then you can tell me where it is," John said. "Where is the shield?"
Bucky simply looked him up and down and then shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me," was all he said.
"I know you know where it is," John snarled at him.
"Back off, Walker," Bucky warned him, his voice low and full of frustration.
"Or what?" John challenged him, looking smug as he shrugged his shoulders. "I have nothing to lose, not now. And I almost took you in Riga. Want another go, Bucky? Is that it?"
"Don't tempt me."
"Bucky," Evelyn urged from him, not wanting him to get into this with Walker. Charlie called down then, seeing the two men facing each other, Evelyn desperately clinging to Bucky's arm and urging him not to do something stupid.
"Do I need to call the police?" Charlie wondered.
"No," Evelyn responded, "it's fine, Charlie. We're leaving."
"Do you always do as she says?" Walker continued taunting him. "Because you know that she knew about Sam having the shield before you…that she kept secrets…"
"Shut the hell up," Evelyn snapped. "And do you think we haven't discussed this?"
"You're barking up the wrong tree, Walker," Bucky said to him, still looking him up and down. "What? You think that will provoke a reaction from me?"
"I think if I said the right thing about her then I could, yeah," Walker nodded his head. "Because that's the thing, isn't it? She's the one anyone can use to push your buttons."
"Bucky, please," Evelyn tried again, her voice full of pleading.
He shot Walker one final glare, his eyes slowly moving away from his and down to Evelyn. Nodding to her, he felt her grip remain tight on his arm and he glanced back to Walker. "You're not worth it," Bucky said. "And like I said, you'll never be Captain America."
But that was Walker's button. It was the button that caused him to get angry. He moved then, grabbing Bucky by the shoulder with one hand and using the other to launch a punch at his face. Bucky felt the blow on his face as he stumbled backwards, Evelyn still holding onto his arm.
"Jesus!" Evelyn snapped as Bucky straightened himself out and glowered at Walker again, hands clenched into fists. "No…Bucky…don't…"
"Evie, move out the way," Bucky said to her, but she was refusing to budge, standing in between Bucky and Walker, the blonde-haired man still smirking from the punch he had landed on Bucky's face.
"No," Evelyn said firmly. "He's not worth it."
"Get out the way, Evelyn, and let us finish this," Walker demanded and he moved, pushing her to the side. But the force of his touch was strong. He pushed her off, watching her lose balance as she fell down the steps of the museum, tumbling down them, her heels falling from her feet as Charlie rushed down then, phone in his hand and preparing to phone the police. Walker remained on the step he was stood on as Bucky ran down the steps to Evelyn, finding her sitting up and groaning, a hand going to her head. People had stopped walking by and were staring, clearly intrigued by the sight they had seen.
"Evelyn, sweetheart," Bucky said to her, kneeling down by her side and taking hold of her by the elbows, looking her over. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," she said, knowing that she would have a number of bruises from the fall. She kept a hand to her forehead.
"Do you feel dizzy?" Bucky asked from her.
"Just a bit," she said.
"Evelyn, I am so sorry, I never meant to do that," Walker was running down the steps then as Charlie came to her other side.
"You okay, Evie?" Charlie asked her.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she nodded her head and Bucky looked over to Walker, longing to do nothing than give him a piece of his mind. He helped Evelyn to stand up with Charlie's aid, making sure she was steady on her feet before he stepped towards Walker.
"You ever touch her again and I swear to God…" Bucky let the threat hang in the air, wondering if Walker really wanted to know what he would do. He doubted it. "I'm seconds away from causing a scene right here."
But Bucky knew there were people watching. And if he was caught fighting Walker then he would be in trouble.
"But I swear if there weren't people watching then this conversation would be going a completely different way," he said to him through gritted teeth. "So, stay the hell away from us."
"Just give me the shield," Walker continued pushing him.
But Bucky simply remained mute. He said nothing in response to him. Instead, he gave him one final look and then turned back to Evelyn as she stood with Charlie and he fussed around her, making sure she didn't have any deep cuts or other injuries.
"You sure you're alright?" Bucky asked from her and she nodded, adjusting the skirt of the red sleeveless dress she wore.
"Yeah, can we just go? People are watching," she said, knowing that some people were filming what had happened. She only hoped none of them had caught most of it on film.
"Yeah," Bucky said with a nod.
He moved his arm around her waist as she shifted her bag out of the way, Charlie giving her shoulder a squeeze as she slipped back into her shoes that had fallen off. The two began walking away together, Bucky keep his grip tight on her as he felt her lean against his side, clearly in pain as she tried not to limp.
"Sweetheart, are you sure-"
"-Can we just get away from people watching," Evelyn said to him, "and then…can we just get a cab or something? I can hardly walk."
He could see her trying not to cry, blinking tears back as he moved then. He didn't care if people were watching or not. Instead, he stood still and moved instantly, picking her up and holding her to him as he strode away, ignoring anyone who was watching. Evelyn kept her bag to the side, her arm going over his shoulders as they heard Walker yell after them.
"I just want the shield! Why won't you just give me it!?"
They didn't respond to him, instead they just kept on walking, wondering if Walker was going to cause them anymore problems in the future.
"You sure you're alright?" Bucky asked her once Walker's screams were out of their ears and they were heading down a quieter street. He carried her as if she weighed nothing, his strides long and purposeful.
"What is he doing?" Evelyn wondered from Bucky. "He's not going to give this up, is he? He really does think he is Captain America and he was wronged."
"I don't know what he's thinking," Bucky admitted to her. "I seriously don't know."
...
A/N: Quite a long chapter with a lot going on - do let me know what you think! I love reading your comments/suggestions!