Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
-Sharon Begley
Jacob didn't really understand what happened at the bakery, despite it playing through his mind over and over and over that night on patrol.
I'm begging you to think of something else, Embry pleaded to him.
But why does she just want to be friends? She kissed me back! Jake thought this might be the start of something, and now he was back to square one. She wouldn't even look at him most of the day, which gave him as close to a headache as he'd had since phasing. Is it because of that toothpick, Hote?
It took all his willpower to not phase and tackle him in the hallway when he kissed Shay good-bye. He had to grit his teeth and tell himself over and over that Shay could make her own choices, even if he wanted to keep her to himself.
It didn't stop him from squeezing the towel dispenser in the bathroom so hard that it popped open.
I think it's more of the fact that you ran off with Bella.
I didn't run off anywhere.
Jake would have huffed, if he could. Bella didn't even have anything important to say on their walk, and his mind was distracted the whole time.
It was jarring for him to see them both in the same place, sitting at the same table. It was like two puzzle pieces that didn't fit in the same picture.
And when you walked in, were you hoping to see Shay or Bella?
Jacob slowed to a trot, coming up to a forked trail in the woods. The moon was high above his head, a crescent one today, illuminating the twigs and leaves that easily crunched under his paws.
I don't know.
Shay? Both? His chest ached and his brain tried to push something at him, but he wouldn't let it.
Well, when the answer is Shay, and only Shay, I think that's when she'll come around.
Shay woke up looking worse than the day before, which she didn't think was possible.
Her hair was flat on her head, her eyes were red with lack of sleep, and she didn't even try to smooth out the wrinkles of her T-shirt.
She used the bike ride to school to try and gain the energy to deal with the day, but the pedaling seemed to be making her feel more tired than anything.
She heard a twig crack in the woods to her right and briefly lost control of her handlebars. Righting her tire, she scanned the area next to her, wishing she had a supernatural sense of sight or smell like the pack.
The pack.
She wondered if it was one of them out there. She hadn't heard any news of vampires lately, but she pedaled faster just in case. As if you'd be able to escape a vampire on a bicycle, she thought bitterly, not slowing anyway.
So, to say Shay was feeling gross and sweaty when she arrived to school was an understatement. But she tried to tell herself that the weight in her stomach was something she had to deal with.
In a world where werewolves and vampires moved around her, she could find the courage to talk to Simon Hote.
They were both early for first period, and he was leaning against the side door near the gym with Joseph to his left, laughing at something he said. His backpack was on the ground beside him, his white sneakers almost touching the dangling straps.
Shay had to do it quickly, before she lost the nerve.
Marching over to him, she tried to convey to Joseph to get lost with her expression.
Somehow, this seemed to work, and he clapped Simon on the shoulder once before walking toward the main entrance, his backpack slung over his side.
"Hey," Simon said, adjusting his glasses as he regarded her quick pace.
"Hey Simon."
Shay stopped right in front of him, her hands clutching the messenger bag strapped across her chest.
"Uh oh."
"What?" Shay swallowed thickly.
"You said my name like an apology." Simon gave her a small smile, ducking his head to watch her.
He was always pretty perceptive. She grimaced at his knowing tone, her heartbeat rising with each second.
"I um... don't think we should go to prom together." Shay bit her lip, watching Simon's smile fall but his face stayed neutral.
He twisted the hem of his shirt between his fingers before chancing a look up.
"Because of Black?"
Shay reeled back in surprise, a surprised gust of air escaping her throat.
"No! No. Because of me." She shrugged, trying to look as apologetic as she felt, and not let her mind stray to Jake.
Simon raised an eyebrow in disbelief and she frowned, her regret meeting a growing indignation inside her body.
"Really!"
"Hm." Simon smirked. "Did I ever have a chance?"
Shay's defensiveness melted away as she looked at his dimpled face.
"Of course! You're great, Simon."
"I never thought I'd feel so bad being called great," he chuckled in self-deprecation, rubbing his neck.
She watched him for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together. She didn't know how to end the conversation. She was rude enough without just walking away, and she owed him more than that.
"Well, I guess I'll see you there then?" Simon finally said, raising a shoulder.
Shay was almost angry he was being so nice. Who gave him the right to be kind to her when she was being the worst? Why couldn't she just want to go to prom with him, and date someone who liked her without any complications?
"You should ask Dakota," she said, trying to smile back at him. "She'd love to go with you."
"Maybe I will." Simon leaned down to grab his backpack, and then quick as a flash, kissed her already warm cheek. "See you around, Shay."
Shay frowned again, touching her cheek. This wasn't how she imagined this going. She needed him to know that.
"Simon!"
He turned back to her expectantly, eyebrows raised over wire rimmed glasses.
"Thank you. You're..." she trailed off, hoping he knew what she meant. "Thank you."
He nodded with a smirk, and then walked away.
Somehow, after promising to be Jacob's friend but definitely put distance between them, Shay found herself at his house the next day.
It was Jared's fault.
"Okay, you're seniors and want to be done with school, I get it," Mr. Acacia told them in English class that afternoon. "But there's still a little time left, so I have an idea."
The students perked up, watching him as he passed out a worksheet to the rows of desks.
"Instead of a final, I'm going to let you do a partner project. All you have to do is a read a book from this list, and do a joint essay on it. Easy, right? I put some of the guidelines on the bottom of the sheet. I want six pages – and I will know if one person did it all. Alright?"
Shay noticed him eyeing Paul, and smiled to herself.
"As a treat, I will even let you pick your partners. Remember that when you're filling out your teacher evaluations," he joked, sitting back at his desk. "Choose wisely!"
Shay felt panic creep up her spine and immediately turned to Kim, but Jared's hand was already on her shoulder. Shay looked at Kim's wide, apologetic eyes before flicking back to her grinning boyfriend.
"Sorry. I'm going to need Kim to pass this one," Jared said, tilting his head to the left. "But Jake needs a partner."
So now Shay was in Jacob Black's house, surrounded by wood and everything smelled like him, like the trees and the sunshine and musk had coupled up.
Shay spread her class notes and the worksheet on Jacob's dining room table, trying to focus. It had four wooden chairs around it, and a bowl of apples in the middle that she couldn't decide were real or not.
Despite having her own problems, her own schoolwork, a job, and friends outside of Jacob Black, her thoughts tended to stray to him 90% of the time, and she was starting to get on her own nerves.
It was hard not to be consumed, though, when he was sitting across from her, fresh from the shower, tongue licking his lower lip as he read their assignment.
She quieted down every impulse in her body to kiss him again, and cleared her throat more for her benefit than his.
"So are you going to be weird around me—" Jake started to say just as Shay stammered out "What book do you want to—"
They both stopped speaking and looked at each other. Shay flushed as Jacob's eyes roved over her face.
"I'm not being weird—" Shay protested as Jake again spoke at the same time saying "I trust you to pick—"
They both stopped abruptly again.
"You first," Jacob said, putting his hands flat on the table in front of him and watching her.
Why did his stare always pierce right through her?
"Um. I was just going to ask what book you wanted to choose. What were you going to ask?"
"I was going to ask if you were going to be weird around me forever."
Shay's tongue stuck to the top of her mouth as she regarded him. He had been tense around her the last few days, but now she could hear some light heartedness come back into his voice.
"No," she argued. "I'm just...focused on the assignment."
Jacob continued to stare, like his eyes could get to the real meaning of what she had to say.
He opened his mouth for a moment, fingers tracing the edges of the paper in front of him, before he closed it again.
"Don't do that," Shay said.
"What?" he asked, confused.
"Not say what you mean," Shay teased, repeating what he'd told her what now felt like weeks ago.
Jacob rolled his eyes, realizing she was using his words against him.
"You're not ready for what I really mean," he said cryptically, his mouth almost twisting with a smile. The sudden gravely tone of his voice made Shay's smirk fall and her palms start to sweat. "So why don't we just work on this?"
After choosing their book – The Scarlet Letter – "because Quil said it was the shortest" – Shay found herself in Jacob's kitchen, stirring a pot of spaghetti.
Her eyes wandered slowly around the room. There was white wallpaper on the walls, dotted with tiny flowers. Wooden cabinets lined one wall and the silver stove she was in front of sat in the middle. A small window on the opposite wall looked out over the backyard.
The tension she had felt earlier had dissolved when Jake's growling stomach had practically echoed through the room, causing Shay to snort unattractively, which in turn made Jake start to laugh.
She couldn't even explain how the noise of it released the tight feeling between her shoulder blades.
Shay heard Billy's bedroom door closing and smiled when she saw him coming toward her.
"Shay, you really don't have to help. You're a guest," Billy chided, wheeling into the room and giving his son a meaningful look.
"She offered!" Jake said, putting his hands in the air as he took a jar of sauce out of the pale brown cupboard.
"Stirring is the least I can do," Shay grinned. "And it's more than I trust Jake with."
"Hey! Who do you think cooks for this guy half the time?" he asked, gesturing to his father.
Billy's stern look softened slightly as Jake teased him, squeezing his shoulder gently.
"By the way Dad, I picked up your insulin today. Don't forget you have the doctor next Wednesday, too," Jacob said, quieter now as he moved to retrieve bowls from a cabinet on the other side of her.
Shay would've felt like she was intruding on a personal moment, except Jacob's fingers ghosted along the small of her back as he passed by her, and the contact made her suddenly feel rooted in this kitchen, with this family.
"Thank you," Billy said, going to another drawer to retrieve the silverware. She noticed it rattled slightly and took an extra hard shove to open. "Should we eat at the table?"
Five minutes later, they were all seated around the dining room table, Shay and Jake's books pushed to the empty forth seat in the corner.
"Well that is the first time I've seen Jake doing schoolwork in this house," Billy commented, eyeing their papers. "You're a good influence, Shay."
"Just trying to get him to graduation," Shay deadpanned, winking at Jacob.
"Oh, he will," Billy said, pointing a fork at Jake. "What else is going on at school?"
"Shay is writing an essay on Quileute culture," Jake told his dad, barely spinning his spaghetti on his fork before shoveling it into his mouth. "She's a great writer."
"Are you?"
"It's just for this contest at school," Shay shrugged, ignoring the compliment part altogether. She wanted to make a joke but Jake said it so easily, like he really believed it. "I've been doing a little research at the library to fill in some gaps I don't know."
"Well let me know if I can help. I'm around," Billy offered, and she smiled gratefully.
"I just might," Shay took a sip of her iced tea. "Do you speak a lot of the language?"
"Sure. Do you know any?"
"Just a few words. My grandpa used to call me pititchu."
"I like it. Jake's sisters used to call him kadidu."
Shay noticed Jake's hand still in the air, the fork halfway between his plate and mouth. A start of a grin started to curl on her lips.
"What does that mean?"
"I'm begging you not to tell her that," Jake whined, putting a hand to his forehead.
Taking no heed of his son's words, Billy turned to Shay.
"Dog," he said simply, shrugging his shoulders.
Shay's eyes twinkled with this information and she caught Jake's glare.
"You know she's going to be taunting me with that later," Jake grumbled, looking at the ceiling.
Shay didn't know when he started knowing her thoughts, but a fuzzy feeling wrapped around her.
"It's too good not to."
They spent the rest of the dinner ganging up on Jacob. Billy told her how they'd gone fishing once when they were little and Jake managed to fall overboard and lose his fishing rod altogether. Shay told him how he'd hit Kala in the head with a volleyball, although that wasn't so much embarrassing as the highlight of her life.
When they finished eating and talking, Jake gathered all their dishes in one go, making Shay nervous at the pile in his arms.
She trailed behind him to the kitchen where he placed them in the sink, looking at her over his shoulder.
"Can I help?" she asked, watching him turn on the water.
"You're a 'guest' so my dad says no," he joked, winking at her.
"I'll dry if you wash," she offered, not quite wanting to go home yet.
"Deal."
She watched the veins in Jake's arms appear as he grabbed a sponge and soap and distracted herself grabbing a towel on the stove handle to prepare.
She positioned herself next to Jake, glad he didn't notice the thousands of ways he affected her without meaning to.
"Thanks for staying for dinner," Jake suddenly said, giving her an achingly warm smile. "My dad...he's usually in a bad mood this week, but he was excited to have you here."
He handed her the first clean plate and she started drying it.
"Why is he in a bad mood?"
"Oh," Jake rubbed the back of his neck, leaving a trail of soapy water that she wanted to swipe away. "Tomorrow's the anniversary of the day my mom died."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that." Shay lowered her dish to the drying rack with a frown.
"How could you?" Jake asked, his voice tight. "Usually Sue and Charlie take him somewhere, but with Harry dying recently, I think Sue has other things on her mind."
Shay bit her lip. She knew Harry Clearwater had died a few months ago. She could see the grief in Sue and Leah. Seth handled it better, but she knew he must feel it too.
"I think he still might go watch a game with Charlie, though," Jake amended, trying to ease her troubled look.
"What about you?"
"What about me?" He looked at her with crinkled eyes.
"Do you go with them?"
"Oh, no...I just...I don't do anything, I guess."
Her plans to distance herself from Jake not only flew out the window—they soared so far she couldn't even see them anymore.
"Do you want to go to the beach with me and Leah tomorrow?"
Jake made a face the moment 'Leah' came out of her mouth, and she lightly hit his arm.
"Hey."
"Can Seth come too? I find it's best to have a buffer."
"Fine," she grumbled, pursing her lips.
He suddenly leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead and she felt the warmth all over. Luckily she wasn't holding any breakable plates.
She narrowed her eyes at him when he backed away but he just smiled.
"What? Friends give platonic forehead kisses sometimes." He laughed at her open mouth.
She hit him again, hiding her wince at his rock hard arm.
"I'm sure." She rolled her eyes.
"Hey. I treasure our friendship."
She narrowed her eyes at his sarcasm.
"Well you're walking a thin line, kadidu," she grumbled, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
He laughed, his head quickly tossed to the ceiling as he handed her the pot their water boiled in.
"You missed a spot, my qahla." His voice was close to her ear. The Quileute word made her toes curl, even though she didn't know what it meant.
She was going to have some trouble with this particular friendship, it seemed.
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