Hello,

Ahhh I was blown away by your reviews! Thank you so much for the support and for your lovely words, it really means a lot!

Right, I think I've left you waiting for long enough (apologies!), shall we find out about Rachel?

I hope that you enjoy,

Becca x

First Moments

At first, she thought she could be drowning. As if there was a great body of water weighing down upon her; attributing to the heaviness in her limbs. The world was fixed in darkness, whilst sounds came to her in muted swishes as if her ears were filled with murky sea water until all of a sudden, she could hear.

But now she could hear too clearly; the murmurs of unfamiliar voices, the mechanic rhythms. It was sharp but disjointed. She could not make sense of it, and so her eyes broke open to let in the light, only it was blinding and it made her head pound as she took in the room.

As her squinted eyes adjusted, it all felt so uncomfortably familiar: the sterile white squares of ceiling, beeping machines, a stranger in faded claret-red scrubs watching over her. This was not the first time that she had awoken in confusion to find herself in a hospital bed, and although the circumstances were different, she still gasped desperately for air as she had done after the fire.

An oxygen mask was pressed to her mouth until finally, she breathed. "Try to take some slow, deep breaths for me Rachel. I'm Doctor Sharples, you're in the recovery ward," the doctor gently informed.

Every part of her felt heavy, and her eyelids were just starting to close when she became aware of the emptiness within her; despite the numbness from the medication and the anaesthesia, she could still feel the tenderness in her abdomen. Her eyes snapped open as she fought the weight from her own body and attempted to sit up.

A hand lowered itself to her shoulder. "Try not to move. You're okay." Doctor Sharples assured. "You've been in an accident Rachel. We had to perform a caesarean section, but don't worry, baby's healthy and doing well."

She pulled the mask from her mouth, swallowing down the dry metallic taste on her tongue before she could ask, "Where is she? I need to-"

"She's being well looked after. You'll be able to meet her soon, but for now, you need to rest." he told her. "You lost a lot of blood in surgery, we had to give you a blood transfusion so you're likely to feel drowsy for the next 24 hours."

"I need to be with her," she uttered under her breath whilst fighting the heaviness of her eyes.

"You'll need all of your energy for those sleepless nights ahead, so get some rest whilst you can. Your daughter is in the best hands." Doctor Sharples said, replacing her mask before checking her vitals.

Whilst taking a deep breath in, her muscles eased and her eyes shut involuntarily as she was now able to drift off, secure in the knowledge that her daughter was safe.

When Doctor Sharples had informed Eddie and Philip that Rachel was stable and out of surgery, the news had at first left them in an ecstatic state of relief, but then they were moved to another ward, and into another waiting room where the silence ensued once more.

Time was not what Eddie needed right now, he needed to remain securely in a bubble of hope, and yet, irritatingly, he could not stop the anxieties from niggling away at him. The doctor had sounded positive, but he could not promise that Rachel was out of the woods just yet, and so Eddie remained on the edge of his seat, because he knew the fragility of life, and that is why he could not wait a moment longer to see Rachel.

"Excuse me," he collared a nurse, not for the first time. "I'm sorry to bother you again, but do you know when I will be able to see Rachel?"

"She's not long been moved from recovery, she's in a private room but she's resting. Why don't you go home and get some rest? You could come back first thing in the morning when she's had a good night's sleep?" she suggested.

Eddie was not usually one to get emotional in public, but in this instance, he could not stop himself. "I'm not going anywhere. I can't leave her- please, I really need to see her- she needs to know- how much I love her."

The nurse nodded sympathetically. "I'll see what I can do love," she said before going off to find someone.

As Eddie sat back down, Philip commented, "She knows. Anyone can see how much you love Rachel."

But it was not that simple for Eddie, the way he had left things with Rachel made it so he could not settle, not until he had seen her. "Before she went off to talk to Adam, we argued and I was just so frustrated with her. I can't stop thinking about it. That could have been our last conversation-"

"But it wasn't. You heard the doctor- the surgery, it was successful." Philip reasoned.

"There can still be complications, unforeseen problems-"

"Sorry to interrupt," The nurse said upon her return. "You can sit with her if you like, but only one at a time I'm afraid."

"Try to not disturb her, she really does need some rest," the nurse reminded as she let Eddie into the room. She paused, offering a reassuring smile as she waited for him to follow her inside, but he remained where he was, hovering in the doorway. Despite spending countless hours in waiting rooms and speaking to various doctors and nurses about Rachel's condition, it was still a shock to see her lying there in a hospital bed.

He steadied himself before nodding to the nurse and cautiously moving to sit beside Rachel, watching the rise and fall of her chest as she lay there contained by sleep. Naturally, he reached for her hand, careful not to knock the canular as he ran his thumb gently over her knuckles.

"Am I glad to see you." He softly uttered once the nurse had left the room. "I've missed you. We're in each other's pockets, you and me; at home, and at the school. Being sat out there, waiting, not knowing what's going on with you... I've been going out my mind- I think I'm a bit of a mess without you around." He swallowed down hard on the lump in his throat. "So, I'm afraid that you're stuck with me forever because if today's taught me anything, it's that I can't manage without you. I love you so much Rachel, and I'm sorry for the way we left things."

As he moved his hand from hers to wipe his eyes, he noticed the way that her breathing changed at the loss of contact; she inhaled deeply before she began to stir, with her eyes gradually awakening as she reached out for his hand. "Eddie-" she breathed.

He brought his hand back to hers in an instant. "Rachel, are you okay? Are you in pain? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Whilst clasping her hand around his, she lightly hushed him. "No, I'm sorry. You were right, I should never have gotten into a car with Adam. I should have listened to you, not rushed in like that-"

"None of that matters now. You and the baby, being safe and well, that's all that matters to me."

"Where is she? Have you seen her? Is she okay?" she asked, her eyes becoming alert now.

Eddie smiled, "She's beautiful, she's so like you; she's got these big brown eyes and- she's just incredible. God, what a way to come into the world, and you'd never know it looking at her. She's strong. I wonder where she gets that from?"

Rachel smiled back at him, tears falling down her cheeks as she squeezed his hand. "I'm so glad that you've seen her. Can you get someone to bring her to me?"

"The nurse, she said you should be resting. Actually, she's going to kill me for waking you up."

She shook her head. "No, I can't rest until I've seen her. She's my daughter, she's already come into the world on her own, she needs me."

Eddie nodded. "I'll go and find someone," he said, and did not allow their hands to part as he stood from the chair and leant over to press a kiss to her forehead. He lingered there, breathing in the warmth of her, before softly pulling away and wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Please, don't ever scare me like that again."

No sooner had Eddie left the room before a nurse came in, checking the monitors and pulling a blood pressure cuff around Rachel's arm. "You should be resting. How are you feeling, are you in any pain?"

In truth, her head was pounding and whatever medication she'd been given was starting to wear off, but she couldn't risk not being able to see her child and so insisted, "I'm fine, thank you. Will I be able to see my daughter?" she asked.

"One of the nurses has just gone to find out, I think your partner has gone with her. It sounds like you've both been very lucky," the nurse commented as she took her blood pressure. "Are you feeling drowsy? Any dizziness?"

"A little, but surely that's to be expected? When will I be up and about again?"

The nurse shook her head at Rachel. "I see that I'm going to have to keep my eye on you- make sure you don't overdo it. You've only just woken up from surgery love, give yourself chance to heal."

"I will- I just didn't expect it to be like this," she sighed, tilting her head in the direction of the door to make sure that Eddie had not returned yet. "Do you know how Adam is? The man who was driving the car- we're getting divorced but- technically, we're still married. Adam Fleet?"

"Sorry love, I don't. But I could try and find out for you?"

"If you could, thank you."

When Eddie returned, he practically ran into the room with a beaming grin on his face. "They're bringing her down now. She's out of the incubator and the doctor was really pleased with her. I saw Phil as well, he's going to get something to eat, he said he'd give us a bit of space and then come to see you."

As the nurse adjusted the bed so that she sat slightly more upright, Rachel reached out for Eddie's hand once more and quietly confessed, "I can't believe that it's all happening like this. It was terrifying, waking up and her not being in here-" she gestured to her stomach, "I feel like I've already let her down, missed out on the first moments-"

"Stop it. Rachel, these are the first moments, the ones we'll remember forever and that we'll tell her about when she's older. Let's make the best of them, yeah?" he pressed a kiss to her hand.

"Yes, you're right. Thank you, for everything."

If the nurse hadn't had been in the room she would have said more, although she doubted that she could articulate just how thankful she was to have him here. She wouldn't have blamed him for being angry at the way she had stormed off at the school, she was mad enough at herself. And yet, here he was looking after her and the baby as he had always promised he would do.

Her eyes remained locked on his until he gave her hand a squeeze and her focus diverted to the door, watching as the midwife wheeled the baby into the room.

"Don't try to sit up," the midwife said as Rachel attempted to catch a glimpse of her child. "Come on sweetheart, it's time to see your Mummy."

As the midwife unravelled the infant from her blanket, the nurse adjusted Rachel's hospital gown. She was speaking to her as she did, but Rachel's focus was completely fixed on her daughter who let out a soft cry now as the midwife lifted her from the crib and placed her on Rachel's chest. When she then tucked the blanket around the two of them, the room fell silent as the baby settled contentedly.

"We'll give you both some space, I'm just out there if you need anything." The nurse said, more to Eddie than Rachel as she was completely mesmerised by the infant.

Rachel tilted her head, watching as her daughter slept soundly on her chest and no longer feeling an emptiness within her. Instead, she was filled with love. It was an overwhelming feeling, not one that she could ever find the right words for, all she knew was that she would spend the rest of her life ensuring that her daughter was safe.

"Hello," she gently greeted as she kissed the small tuffs of hair on her child's head. "It feels like I've waited a lifetime to meet you, and then you come into the world like this. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for those first hours, but I promise you, I'm not going to miss a second more." When she looked over to Eddie, she found that he was just as emotional as her. "Come here."

Eddie moved to her, placing a kiss on her temple before gently stroking the back of the baby's head. "I'll never take this for granted you know? Having you two here. When I first heard about- what had happened. I'd not felt that- that sort of fear, since-"

Stephen. He didn't have to say it, she saw the pain in his eyes and understood. "I'm so sorry. Eddie, I can't imagine what it must have been like for you, waiting and not knowing. I'm sorry that I put you through that. What you said on the stairs, you were right. Speaking with Adam- it was about me, always thinking that I can fix things. But this time it nearly cost me my daughter, and I don't know how I'm going to live with that."

He frowned, shaking his head at her, "What? No- no. This isn't your fault, Rachel. Yes, I thought it was ridiculous that you would try and reason with Adam. I knew he had a temper but neither of us could have anticipated-" he paused. "What happened? Why did you go off with him in the car?"

She held her daughter a little closer to her chest now. "I didn't really have a choice. At first, I thought I might be getting through to him, but then he wanted to speak at the house. He started driving before I had chance to stop him and so I had to tell him that you and Charlie had moved in," she felt her chest tighten. "Eddie, he just lost it."

Tension ran up his body now and he had to briefly walk away to compose himself before turning back to her. "Please tell me that he did not do this intentionally."

"No, I don't think that it was intentional. It was like he wasn't thinking at all, he was completely out of control; driving like a maniac. I should have done more to try to calm him down- I said some things that I probably shouldn't have."

"I don't care what you said, nothing excuses- he could have killed you both! She could be his child for God's sake- how can anyone..." he shook his head. "Even if he turns out to be her father- I don't care, he's not going anywhere near her, ever."

"Eddie, please. Can we not do this now?" she asked as the exhaustion started to catch up with her. It was as though her daughter sensed it as she let out another cry, only this time she would not stop. "Would you take her?" she asked Eddie when she shifted her body to soothe her child and was met by a searing pain in her abdomen.

As he carefully lifted the infant from Rachel's chest, he noted how light she was; much lighter than Charlie had been as a new-born. He swaddled her in the blanket and softly hushed her, rocking her gently until she settled peacefully in his arms.

"You're so good with her." Rachel smiled tiredly, and as she watched Eddie nurse her daughter, she fell more in love with him; more than she knew was possible.

"You forget how tiny they are at first, so fragile- you think that as they grow, you'll become less protective of them but you never do. I know Michael's on the other side of the world but it doesn't stop me worrying about him every day," he said, pulling his eyes away from the baby to look at Rachel now. "I'm sorry for getting het up about Adam, I just don't know how anyone could put a child at risk, especially when there's a chance that she could be his."

"Please, stop apologising Eddie, you've been incredible. I understand why you're so protective, especially after Stephen, and I'm so glad to have you here looking after us. We're both lucky to have you."

But in his mind, he was the lucky one. He wanted to follow the advice that he had given her earlier, to enjoy these first moments, but he could not help but think how differently things could have been. There had been instances in the waiting room where his mind had drifted to the worst eventualities, and so he currently felt like the luckiest man in the world. He had his girls, and that was something he could never take for granted.

"How are we all doing?" The nurse asked when she re-entered the room.

Rachel had been drifting in and out of sleep, but the nurses voice now jolted her eyes open and she awakened in a state of panic. It was as though she was chasing her breath as she looked for her daughter, only to spot that Eddie was sat beside her with her child still wrapped up safely in his arms.

"It's alright- she's okay." Eddie calmly reassured. "Everything's going to be okay."

"I thought-" she gasped, still catching her breath.

"It's okay Rachel, you're bound to be shaken after everything that's happened," the nurse sympathised. "You're due your medication, and I need to do your obs. I think the midwife is going to pop in soon as well, have a check of you and baby. Isn't she lovely?" she cooed at the infant. "The midwife said she's due another feed soon, do you think you'd be up to trying to feed her naturally?"

Rachel was fighting to keep her eyes open as it was, but nodded, "I'll try."

"There's something else-" the nurse started; her tone no longer upbeat. "I asked about Adam Fleet for you, and I'm afraid that he's in intensive care. I don't know any of the details but I could try and find out for you, I believe that you're still his next of kin-"

"No." Eddie interrupted. "No, we don't need to know anything else."

"Eddie." Rachel glared at him.

Eddie remained silent whilst the nurse administered Rachel's medication and carried out her observations. It was only once she had left the room that he said, "Please don't waste your energy worrying about him, he brought all of this on himself, he-"

"This isn't the time to point out Adam's wrongdoings. Eddie, he could die."

"Would that be a bad thing?"

"Don't," she pressed her hands to her eyes. "Just don't."

He lowered his voice, careful not to wake the sleeping child in his arms as he reasoned, "I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm really struggling to sympathise with the man that almost killed you both."

It was all too much for Rachel by this point; her body throbbed painfully, and she didn't know whether she needed to sleep or cry. A moment later and it proved to be the latter. As she started to sob, Eddie delicately placed the baby into the crib before moving to Rachel. "You need to rest, you've had major surgery, you don't need this. We need to get you better," he said, grabbing a tissue and softly dabbing at her cheeks.

"I can't sit here and do nothing," she said, and realised now that what she needed more than anything was clarity. "Eddie, I need you to go home, get my hospital bag. I ordered a paternity test kit a while ago, it's in there. We need to do it, get it sent off as quickly as we can. I need to know who her father is."