Chapter 28
"She's going to die?" I asked softly, hoping I had heard it wrong.
"Unfortunately," Frostbite said. "She's weak and childbirth will be the limit most likely. There's a small chance, but it's very small. The kits might live though."
"Might?" Boulderfang asked.
"There's room for hope there," Frostbite said. "You all can get on with your day."
I was still registering what I just heard. Songheart isn't going to make it. She's going to die. I left the den with everyone else. I leaned against Silentstorm who just stood there silently, processing her own thoughts and feeling. We both just stood there for a moment, overwhelmed with emotions.
Death. So soon? We'd fought against terrible odds and this is what kills her? And the kits, they might not even live. Poor timing. That's what will have killed her. She got pregnant at the wrong time. I had a realization that Boulderfang probably feels partially at fault for this. It must be hard for him too. And Pineclaw, losing his own daughter. He became an elder and she's the one who dies. And Silentstorm. We had all grown up so close and Silentstorm can barely process emotion, especially healthily. How will she even handle this.
And me. I've seen plenty of death, I know this. I know death has to come. But part of me always thought we'd all die together, in a battle for our lives. Our lives had always been that way, it would make sense that's how we go down. But in the end it was just poor timing.
"We should go see Songheart," I whispered.
"Yeah," Silentstorm agreed.
We walked to the medicine den and entered it. "She's awake," Silentstorm told me quietly as we headed toward where her best was.
"Hey!" Songheart said brightly, although her cheery tone had a falsity to it it never had before. "I suppose you heard the news?" I detected the hidden sadness and tiredness behind it, something that was never there.
"Yeah," I said. "We have."
"So what has Flurrytail been up to?" Songheart asked, turning the conversation to the ever-familiar topic.
"More worrying than ever," I answered. "Especially now that she became deputy."
"I can imagine," Songheart said.
"She's causing more trouble for Deathfire than us. She's to blame for Deathfire's sprained ankle. She's also threatening to create some false evidence against Deathfire. Wingstar apparently thinks she's evil so Flurrytail plans to use that to manipulate Wingstar, maybe even corrupt her," I explained. "It's really bad."
"I mean Wingstar was always a bit of an absent mentor, but I never would have thought this," Songheart said.
"Absent mentor?" I asked.
"Surely you noticed how she was always pawning you off on another warrior or sending you on solo assignments," Silentstorm said. "It's no wonder you couldn't protect yourself, you spent most your time hunting."
"When I think about it, you're both right. I guess the cool idea of having the leader as my mentor kinda covered that up," I said. "Honestly, now I'm disgusted that she was my mentor. Deathfire never did anything to prove herself evil."
"Mouse-brain with a lack of impulse-control? Yes. Evil? No," Silentstorm said.
"I heard that!" Deathfire told us from across the den.
I laughed a bit. "Don't worry, you're my favorite mouse-brain," I reassured her.
"Rude!" Tallblaze protested. "You aren't allowed to pick favorites if it's not me!"
"Too bad!" I told him.
"I personally don't have a favorite as I feel the same about them both. They're both equally intolerable most the time," Silentstorm stated.
"They're having fun and that's what matters," I said.
"A little joy is needed around this Clan sometimes," Songheart said. "All these murder attempts get a little disheartening at times."
"Yeah, and I much prefer seeing Deathfire happy than the alternative," I said. "I prefer seeing everyone happy, but that isn't going to happen for two reasons. One being Flurrytail and followers aren't going to leave us alone and the other being I can't see anything because I'm blind."
"Always with the sight-based humor," Silentstorm muttered.
"I'm just happy she doesn't let it bring her down," Songheart said. "You're the same Silkshade as ever. Of course there have been a couple changes, but no one stays the same all throughout their life."
"That's true," I said. Changes happen to everyone. It's a fact.
"Nice seeing you three together," Flurrytail said. "It's not like there isn't things you two need to be doing." Except Flurrytail, she's still a complete fox-heart.
"What we're doing is important. Have you never heard of sibling bonding?" I asked. "Oh right, both your littermates disowned you."
"Oh right, the happy one is going to die so you both are trying to spend some time with her and pretend everything is alright," Flurrytail said. "Well, I might as well continue. For old time's sake."
"Just get outta here," I told Flurrytail. "No one even cares."
"If you don't care you won't mind that I'm here," Flurrytail said.
"Flurrytail, I've honestly had some things I've always wanted to say to you and since it's now or never here goes," Songheart said. "You are both a fox-heart and a mouse-heart, always picking on the weaker cat and trying to single them off and beat them with help of several other cats. You are a complete piece of fox-dung and honestly deserve to go die. No one would miss you. I am sick and tired of the way you treat others and honestly I just wanted to have a nice, peaceful life with my sisters, but that never happened because we were always dealing with a big-headed dung-face who really though she was something. So go. Go die. Not a tear will be shed."
Everyone was silent as no one was really expecting that. "I'll be going," Flurrytail said. "Not to die though!"
"I honestly never thought you had it in you," Silentstorm told her. "I'm so proud."
"That was beautiful," I told her.
"I just wanna tell you guys before— Well, you know. I love you guys and you are the best sisters I could've ever asked for. I honestly wouldn't change a thing, even the bad ones. Because, in the end, it was all alright," Songheart said. "So thank you both for making life so great even when it wasn't."
I felt myself tearing up. "I love you too," I told her.
Silentstorm was still and silent. After a moment she spoke up. "I may not always understand your positive attitude or how you always find reason to smile, but I love you," Silentstorm said.
What were we going to do without her, when it happened?
Author Note: I dunno why I'm realizing this now, but Deathfire is basically me and Tallblaze is what I aspire to be(no offense to Deathfire, but I want self-confidence). This has nothing to do with the chapter, but it's an insight on me. I'm probably saying this so I don't have to talk about depressing things. Oh well, leave a review cause I'm a cool kid(no I'm not, I'm made fun of at school for not being cishet, gotta love homophobia). Leave a review because I'm a depressed kid who seeks all positive affirmation(kidding! Mostly...). Nah, leave a review if you like the story or have some constructive criticism. Remember you all are loved(by me if no one else, but I'm sure someone else cares about you) and you all are fabulous just the way you are. Have a great next week!
-Rowan W