This will be the last chapter, some of it's kind of questionable but I've left it open for a sequel...I hope you enjoyed and my characterisation didn't annoy you too much
"Hey" Michelle enters her room, Carla looks up and offers her a small smile "Are you ok?"
"Yeah" she nods slowly biting her lip looking over at the bags that were packed on the side "Ready to get on with my life, thank you for bringing my passport for me, I appreciate it"
"No problem" she smiles slightly sitting on the edge of the bed and looking down at the baby "Are you sure you've thought about this?"
"Yes" she confirms looking down at her daughter "She needs stability and Peter's hell-bent-"
"Even if she isn't his?"
"What else can I do 'Chelle?" she laments tilting her head to the side "Right now I'd quite happily disappear off the face of the earth if I'm honest with you. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I give her to Peter saves us from another 'Sammy' situation, doesn't it? If I don't then the possibility of...you know what I mean"
"Well I just hope you don't have any regrets" Michelle whispers looking down at the baby "You should give her a name though"
"I have no clue what to name her" Carla shrugs as Michelle reaches into the bassinet and cradles the baby "I envy you sometimes"
"Why?"
"Well you can just do that with me whereas I'm scared to even touch her sometimes"
"You just need to believe yourself," Michelle says adjusting the baby onto her shoulder "I reckon the last thing you could do is give her a name"
"Hey" Peter enters the room, Carla smiles at him as he carries the car seat in his hands "Are you ok?"
"Yeah" Carla confirms with a small smile "I'm great, Michelle says I should name her"
"You should" Peter nods slowly looking down at the baby and tickling her head causing her to yawn "It might be her last memory of you if you name her because we don't know how long your treatment is going to take"
"I guess not no" Carla smiles, Peter smiles at her "I have no clue all the names I come up with they don't suit her"
"What name did you think of?"
"There was one I liked and that was Ayla" she smiles tilting her head to the side "Ayla Connor, sounds pretty nice and flows well I think"
"That's beautiful" Michelle smiles adjusting the baby and putting her in the car seat "I think that suits her perfectly"
"I think that's lovely" Peter smiles, strapping the baby in, he grabs her blanket and puts it over her "Right little lady are we ready to go out into the big wide world?"
"Her stuff's in the blue bag" Carla points, Peter nods "You do have everything for her right?"
"Yeah I do, I dragged Daniel out with me so we're ready to go as soon as we get in, you have no need to be worried"
"Ok," she breathes out gesturing for Peter to place the car seat in front of her "Right then little one, you be good for Peter ok? No screaming the place down at night and one day I hope I will be able to see you again and be the mum you deserve eh? They say third times a charm and all that don't they?"
"Just focus on getting well Carla that's all you can do" Peter assures her, Carla nods slowly and bites her lip
"And you remember our deal?"
"Yeah I do" he confirms, she nods "Well I guess we best head off sweetheart hm?"
"Take care of her, I trust you," she says, Peter nods "And love her as if she's her own"
"I will…" he confirms grabbing the bag and putting it on his shoulder "We'll be off then"
"Bye," Carla says as Peter leaves the room, she sighs and Michelle brings her in for a hug "I'm ok, I am. This is what's best for her"
As soon as Peter arrived home he got the baby out and settled her in the Moses basket that was in the front room of the flat he and Carla used to share. There was a knock at the door and Leanne was there, he immediately let her in and she could tell that he was emotional, she took a gander at the baby and picked her up into her arms and sorted out the Moses basket because Peter had done a rubbish job and she definitely told him that causing him to laugh. They sat down and he held the baby in his arms and rocked her gently until she needed changing.
"Do you know what you're doing?" she chuckles with her coffee cup in her hands as she watches Peter attempt to change the baby on the changing mat in front of her
"Of course I do, I have looked after Bertie and Suzie when I thought she was mine" he points out as Leanne kneels down on the floor and nudges him out of the way, she grabs a wipe
"Front to back" she gestures and does it "Then do the nappy up, it's simple"
"I just didn't want to hurt her" he protests, she just rolls her eyes and does the sleepsuit up and picks the baby up
"I'm not going to lie she's so cute for a kid of Carla's" Leanne laughs cradling the child in her arms as they sit on the sofa again "I wonder what Si would think of this eh?"
"He'd probably feel as if he stepped into a parallel universe" he chuckles before looking mournful all of a sudden, Leanne places the baby in the Moses basket "I miss him"
"Me too, all those things I said to him when Oliver was alive" she shakes her head "I will never forgive myself. Serves me right I guess doesn't it?"
"I still blame myself"
"Me and all, I guess you have a chance though to make it right with her" Leanne points to the baby in the Moses basket "Sometimes I feel as if I can hear his voice, I don't know is that weird?"
"I feel the same" he confirms "Sometimes I sit back and I wonder what he would say about things"
"I feel stupid sometimes for not seeing the signs" she shakes her head in disbelief at everything that had happened the past year
"You shouldn't blame yourself Lea," Peter says placing a hand on her leg, he places his cup down on the coffee table "You're allowed to be sad"
"So are you" she whispers dropping her gaze "I miss him so much though"
"Me and all" he lets out a sob as they both cry together, it wasn't long before Leanne's lips were on Peter's and they were kissing, he was pushing her down on the sofa as they both undressed, somehow being close to Simon in the form of Peter, maybe because he had his liver, was the only thing in life that was worth it now…
"Here" Michelle smiles helping Carla into her jacket, "Is that ok?"
"Perfect, thanks" she confirms "My back's a lot better since they realigned it, just pain from the incision. I also wanted to thank you for being there when they did that, it wasn't fair to ask Peter as I want to make this as easy as I could for him"
"I understand but I'm glad your backs feeling better"
"Yeah" she smiles as her phone goes off "Right that's Suzy at the airport, the patient ambulance is going to take me and my stuff there so we're ready to go"
"Here are your tickets" Michelle smiles, Carla nods putting them in her handbag so they were safe "Well I hope it goes well for you babe"
"Yeah me and all" she confirms with a small smile "Here's to the road of recovery, it starts tomorrow but yeah, I'm ready"
"That's a good thing" she whispers, kissing Carla on the forehead "Do you definitely have everything?"
"Yes Michelle I've checked the bags three times over" she drones as the nurse enters the room ready to push her down to the ambulance "Also make sure you look after Lucas and Sammy for me and be happy"
"I will" she confirms with a small smile "I guess this is goodbye then-"
"Wait!" Johnny enters the room, Carla pulls a face of confusion "Wait...just wait…"
"Johnny I have a flight to catch-"
"I'm coming with you"
"What?" she questions in disbelief "Suzy's expecting me-"
"And me, I rang her, come on, I'm coming"
"You're crazy you are" she shakes her head in disbelief "And what has Jenny had to say about this-"
"Her opinion doesn't matter, all that matters is you getting better," Johnny says as Carla looks between him and Michelle who shrugs
"Ok fine, I'm catching this flight with or without you" she states, Johnny nods slowly and bites his lip "I'll see you when I see you 'Chelle"
"Bye babe" she smiles as the nurse wheels Carla out, Johnny follows causing Michelle to smile longingly at her friend. Granted they had their ups and downs but the most important thing was making sure Carla was to get better and do well within herself and put her health first…
One thing she realised was that this would be the start of the rest of her life, looking back at the past she realised the mistakes she made and she was determined not to make them again. This was the future now, the future of making very little mistakes, the future of living instead of living in fear of the possibilities of the past coming back to haunt her. This was a fresh start, one where she was going to live and one where she was going to succeed in life and getting better for her daughter.
"You seem dazed?" Johnny questions taking in his daughter's thoughtful look, she jumps out of her thoughts and smiles "Are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm ok" she confirms with a small smile "Perfect in fact, I'm internally coming to terms with everything that's happened so that I can make a go of the future"
"Do you have regrets?"
"No matter how you think of it you always have regrets" she points out, he nods slowly "Either way regrets or not I have something worth fighting for"
"Your daughter?"
"Yeah exactly" she confirms with a small smile wishing in the past she had the fight to fight for Sammy "That's something worth fighting for"