Chapter beginning notes:

Let's get this spy party started!
I was able to get some (not all!) chapters cleaned up and ready for posting, so you all don't have to wait the few weeks I originally stated.

Chapter 29:

Hermione paced back and forth nervously in the Tonks' kitchen, waiting for the others to appear. She gnawed on her thumbnail, a habit she thought she had kicked back in second year. Frustrated, she shoved her thumb into the belt loop of her jeans and walked back and forth some more.

Today had been a whirlwind of highs and lows. The exuberance she felt from the early morning when Harry discovered a substantial Horcrux lead was followed up with the knowledge that the Order was about to take its first major hit. The exciting yet confusing day spent with Malfoy turned into a stomach-churning evening after realizing that although he was a spy, he was not on their side. He was on his own side, and he would only help when the Order's motivations aligned with his own.

She shouldn't be disappointed, but she was.

Malfoy.

And to think she was calling things off with Ron because of that sodding prick. She would have to delay that uncomfortable conversation until after they got the Horcrux. Going on a mission would be more difficult if she and Ron were at each other's throats again.

Priorities.

Tonks was the first to arrive, her pregnant belly quite prominent now. She eased herself into a chair with a groan and Remus appeared a few minutes after.

"Bad news, 'eh?" Remus asked. Hermione nodded wordlessly and kept pacing. "Minerva won't be able to make it. Do we need Kingsley?"

Hermione paused and turned to him. "Yes, we definitely need Kingsley."

Tonks reached over and grasped Remus' hand affectionately, playing with his index finger. "Is this from your spy?"

"Yes," Hermione replied, "but it may be too late."

Remus and Tonks glanced at each other apprehensively and waited for Kingsley to arrive. Tonks winced and Remus rubbed circles in her back, murmuring into her ear. Five minutes of tense silence later, Kingsley walked through the door, sat down, and glanced around the table without comment on the mood. "Minerva?"

"Can't make it," Tonks explained as Hermione slid into her chair.

Hermione looked at Kingsley nervously and sucked in a breath. There was no use beating around the bush. "Lucius Malfoy has been in the United States for a week."

He didn't react, merely raised an eyebrow. It was as if she only pointed out there was an ant crawling on the floor. Not that his effort for the past year might have been completely undermined. The Order would be back to beans, would lose their safe houses, their paid informants, their medical supplies, their Healer as well as Cho and Terry's training, and Hermione's progress on Portkeys would come to a grinding halt, setting them back months.

Hermione didn't understand how it was possible to mask emotions all the time like that. She could do it when she prepared, if she knew she would be in a situation that would demand it, but to have it be the default mode of operation was an entirely different skillset. She certainly failed whenever Malfoy was involved. She wondered if her mentor would insist she mask her emotions all the time like Kingsley was able to.

He rubbed a grain of wood on the table and asked slowly, "This is from your spy?"

She nodded. Only Kingsley knew the spy was Draco Malfoy because he would be the one performing the Unbreakable Vow. He understood the significance of Malfoy revealing that it was his father over there.

"Do you know anything else?"

She chewed on her lip and shook her head. "Only that it's bad. He…" she hesitated. "He didn't intend on telling me. It slipped out earlier this evening." Tonks sent her a sharp look. "That's why I called everyone right away."

Hermione stared down at the table. "We won't be able to get any more Portkeys if we don't have any funds, will we?"

The modus operandi of Death Eater raids, wherever they were, was to first install anti-Apparition wards. They caught you by surprise with the raid, trapped you in while you were outnumbered and then picked you off one by one. That's how they managed to kill off Order members in the First Wizarding War. That's how all of the raids had been performed the summer and fall after the Ministry fell. They were sitting ducks if one of their safe houses were compromised. It was only a matter of time before it happened, and Portkeys had been Hermione's evacuation plan.

The Order couldn't stay hidden forever. It was a nerve-racking game of cat and mouse.

Remus spoke. "Minerva and I have been working on an alternative. Portkeys are the ideal solution, but the time and cost needed to acquire enough for a solid evacuation plan for everyone are prohibitive. We're only at 35%-"

"45%," Tonks corrected. Tonks was in charge of Portkey distribution after Hermione made or repurposed them.

Remus continued. "We're only at 45% right now unless more than one Order member uses the same Portkey at the same time." He eyed Kingsley. "Are you leaving for the States?"

Kingsley nodded once and spoke. "I fear it's too late to warn them, but I'll leave immediately. When I get back, we need to discuss what the Malfoys are doing with the Wizengamot." He shifted his gaze to Hermione, and she felt chastened, like she should have already known what the Malfoys were up to. Maybe she should have. "Thank you, Hermione." He stood up and shared a knowing look with Tonks and Remus before he left.

Hermione didn't like that look. Kingsley could convey entire volumes of literature with mere glances.

Tonks turned back to her and spoke first. "Hermione, we haven't really talked about how you're handling the spy since the beginning when I walked you through it. Mostly we discussed protecting yourself, protecting the Order and retaining the upper hand."

"Right," Hermione agreed.

"He has been helpful," Tonks stated. "The estate plans have been coming in as promised."

"He has," she insisted, wondering where Tonks was leading the conversation.

Once again, even though she had just screamed at him earlier today, she felt the sudden need to defend Malfoy whenever he came up during meetings. Like the Portkeys, he was her project. Her not insignificant contribution to the success of the Order because she had taken the responsibility upon herself. The success or failure of both efforts hinged on her and her alone.

Remus sat back in his chair, eyeing her, and Hermione blushed without quite knowing why. Tonks leaned forward, catching onto her defensive tone. "You still don't understand why he's given you some information but held back on others. Like this."

She couldn't deny that. It was true.

"In some cases," Hermione explained, "he thinks the information he passes on will hurt himself, or others he wants to protect. That information he refuses to give. Usually he just denies knowing, I don't know when he's being truthful."

Remus scratched his stubble. "That's understandable. So sometimes he's honest about what he can't tell you and sometimes he's not, but you don't always know when. What about the information he has given you? What's the connection?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "It's puzzling. Although perhaps it's as you originally said. That he told us about the Veritaserum so that Dolohov would be tortured instead of having a painless death. When they were all captured, Dolohov was in the middle of casting the Cruciatus Curse on him."

Remus leaned forward. "And who of the inner circle did he mention again?"

"Nott, Lestrange, Rowle, MacNair and Carrow," Hermione answered.

"Is it possible that they have also all wronged him in some way?" Remus asked.

"Or his family?" Tonks added.

"It's possible. But I don't know."

Tonks fiddled with the hem of her sleeve in thought. "Would he tell you if you asked him?"

Hermione thought of their conversations. Some of them surprisingly candid, open and honest. Others shrouded, where Malfoy was obviously holding back on her. She didn't like the thought that he would outright lie to her, but he was. He had been. And she didn't want to admit that to herself. An unsettling feeling spread in her gut.

She was certainly lying to him.

"He might."

"Press him to explain his motivations," Tonks instructed. "And tell him you need more information about future moves. The captures are critical." She winced and shifted the position on her chair, uncomfortable with the weight of her pregnant belly. "But with Veritaserum, I have to know what to ask and figuring that out takes time, especially when they try to lead me astray. Any leads your spy could supply would be helpful in that regard. Even if they were vague."

"He knows where You-Know-Who is, I'm nearly certain of it. But he won't tell me without Kingsley taking an Unbreakable Vow to guarantee a full pardon for him and his family after the war."

"And Kingsley refused because he can't be fully trusted?"

"Correct. Also, because he wouldn't be able to give one member of the family a full pardon. And he's not sure about the spy himself either. It would depend on the extent of his crimes."

Tonks jaw clicked. "What kind of relationship do you have now?"

Hermione blushed involuntarily, remembering how Malfoy looked at her in Trafalgar Square with the pigeons flying around them. Tonks and Remus both raised their eyebrows at her reaction, and she dropped her gaze to the wooden ridges in the table, uncomfortable under their scrutiny. Perhaps she should take a page from Kingsley's book and come to these meetings fully prepared to mask her emotions.

"At first things were hostile but now we get along. He's been questioning pure-blood elitism and I've been helping him overcome some of his prejudices."

Remus seemed like he was going to ask another question, but Tonks squeezed his hand and he remained silent. They both watched her shift nervously under their gaze. She wondered if being silent was one of Tonks' interrogation tactics. Making someone else so uncomfortable that they spilled things you didn't even ask. She felt bad enough for not telling them that she warned Malfoy about the Nott raid, even though her decision had been the right one. Ultimately, Tonks was trying to help her be better at doing this job. And she needed Hermione to be honest with her in order to advise her properly.

Dammit.

Silence worked like a charm on her.

"We're friends."

Tonks sent Remus a look which she couldn't interpret, and he stood up. "It's been a long night; I think I'll turn in." He glanced down at her with an encouraging smile. "You're doing a good job, Hermione."

She nodded and eyed him as left the kitchen. She felt… abandoned. Remus left her alone with Tonks. What was Tonks going to do? It really felt like she was being interrogated. She looked down at the table again. More silence. It was uncomfortable.

Hermione sighed in resignation. She couldn't hold out on her.

"And there's… tension." Tonks' lips quirked upwards. "Unresolved tension." Hermione quickly clarified.

Tonks reached out and held her hand. "Hermione." She looked into her eyes. They were violet today and matched her hair. "You haven't done anything wrong. It happens."

She exhaled in relief and was grateful that Tonks had sent Remus off. Discussing her feelings for Malfoy was bad enough already with only Tonks here. She thought the Auror would yell at her like she did everyone the night Dolohov committed suicide.

Tonks squeezed her hand and explained, "There's often an attraction between spy and handler. Sometimes it's engineered so that one can be exploited and manipulated. Do you think that's what is happening here?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Are you asking if I think he's seducing me?"

Tonks nodded slowly, her eyes serious. She hadn't even considered that. It was too ridiculous.

"No," she shook her head fiercely. "In the beginning, he was a typical pure-blood bigot. He would even Scourgify himself after we met in my Muggle house." Tonks snorted in amusement. "And now that we get along… well… He's a terrible flirt and he's definitely interested in a physical relationship. There's an attraction. But no. He's not trying to seduce me. At least," she spoke towards the table, "not for those reasons."

Tonks gave her a small nod of encouragement, and she continued. "Over the course of our meetings, we've discussed his bigotry. Confronted it head on. We've actually gone out into the Muggle world a few times to answer questions he's had. He feels like he was lied to and doesn't have anyone else he can talk to about his doubts or answer his questions. And he feels used. The Dark Mark, the implant, even how pure-bloods are forced to marry and reproduce. He doesn't feel like he's in control of his life, his future or even his own body."

Tonks sat back and rested her hands on her belly, assessing Hermione. Then she pointed at her. "He's made you feel sorry for him."

Hermione's lips parted. Malfoy didn't make her. Pitying him was a natural reaction to his circumstances. Tonks phrased things in a way which made him seem more underhanded.

"Wouldn't you?" she asked, failing to keep the defensiveness out of her voice.

"Yes," Tonks agreed, without shame. "That doesn't mean he isn't doing it on purpose."

Hermione didn't think Malfoy was doing it on purpose. Despite his caginess, everything between them thus far had been real. Not manufactured.

Wasn't it?

"But I also respect him for questioning everything he was brought up to believe. Your mother went through all this, didn't she?"

"She did," Tonks replied, without breaking eye contact. Tonks' stare was unnerving.

"And was it easy for her?"

"Not at all, but that's not the point."

Hermione furrowed her brow, confused. "Then what is?"

Tonks spread her hands in front of her, palms up. "All of these things could be true, and he could still be manipulating you."

"But aren't we manipulating him as well?"

"We are, but this isn't an egalitarian relationship. The fact that we're using him doesn't make it right that he's using you. We have a war to win. You should be manipulating him if it serves our purposes. And you have to understand what he's using you for. It seems that, at least for now, he's been using you to take out his enemies. In fact, I'm positive now that's what he's been doing."

"Oh."

Remus had hinted as much when Dolohov was first captured, but the way Tonks' phrased it made it sound premeditated and Malfoy more devious. But he was. Wasn't he?

"Look, Hermione." Tonks reached over her belly and took Hermione's hand to ease the blow of her words. "He's helped the Order, that fact is uncontested. But he's used us all the same. He isn't concerned with our lives, has no regard for our priorities, or what would help us ultimately succeed. He's concerned about removing a threat to him. Not to us."

She gave Hermione's fingers a gentle squeeze.

"That's why he hasn't given us the Lestrange plans despite you requesting them several times. He simply doesn't want to. Do you understand the difference and how that can be harmful in the long run? Even if we are gaining short-term benefits right now?"

Hermione nodded. "It's not a surprise to me. I knew he had another motivation. I just wasn't sure what it was."

"The problem," Tonks explained, "is that this makes him unreliable. When he gives information, you have to ask yourself why. When he denies knowing something you have to wonder if he's lying. If you think that he'll tell you the truth about his motivations, then I suggest discussing it with him, but you know he's not being entirely honest with you."

Hermione stared down at the table, humbled by the conversation. "I know that."

Tonks tapped her fingers against the wood for a few moments. Hermione listened to the staccato patterns while Tonks pooled her thoughts together. "What has he gotten you to tell him so far? Or to do for him?"

Hermione braced herself, and her stomach twisted with anxiety. She wasn't looking forward to this conversation, but it had to be done.

"You have to understand that in the beginning, he insisted on a few things in order for this arrangement to continue."

Tonks waved her hand. "Yes, that's often the case."

"And he keeps asking about the pardon. I don't know how long I can keep stringing him along."

Tonks stared at her. Silently. How pathetic was she, knowing what interrogation methods were effective against her, and giving in anyway? She was going to tell Tonks everything, and it wasn't going to be easy to explain.

Hermione took a deep breath, steeling herself for the fallout. "I told him about the implant. I told him that Dolohov hung himself – he thought we had killed him, and I didn't want him to have the wrong impression. I taught him how to cast the Patronus charm. I had Mary take out his implant," Tonks eyebrows rose but she said nothing. "I…" she was going to betray Kingsley here. "I have been learning Occlumency upon his insistence."

Tonks hair changed from purple to red and she leaned forward. "How are you doing that?"

Hermione flicked her eyes down to the table. "With a skilled Legilimens."

Tonks voice rose. "Who found you a Legilimens?"

Her face hardened and Hermione thought she would start yelling at her. Tonks scowled and glared to the side, crossing her arms above her belly. Hermione didn't blame her for being angry that she had been forced to use the Cruciatus Curse on Dolohov and Bixley when another option was available, but kept from her.

"Never mind. I know who." She studied Hermione's face and then continued, "I'm not mad at you, Hermione."

Hermione's next words came out in a rush and she clutched the edge of her chair to brace herself for Tonks' reaction. "I warned him about the Nott raid."

Tonks' hair changed from red to black and she slammed her hand down on the table. "You did what?"

Hermione jumped at Tonks' sudden anger and was grateful the kitchen door was always Silenced prior to the Order meetings held here.

"Now I'm mad at you. Why the hell would you do that, Hermione? Taking the implant out without consulting us is one thing, but telling a spy you don't trust the details of a raid?" Tonks raised her voice to a yell and stood up, leaning over the kitchen table, unleashing her wrath. "What the fuck possessed you to do such a thing?"

Hermione winced, shut her eyes, and opened them again. "But Tonks! He wanted to know the time in exchange for the blood. It's because of the blood that you were able to get in and out undetected. With no injuries!"

She peeked upwards to see if her words had made any dent in Tonks anger. They hadn't.

She looked down again and continued speaking. "Nott's absence wasn't even noticed until his son reported it nearly two weeks later."

Tonks bared her teeth at her. "And why did you think you could endanger the lives of the team entering the estate for that blood?"

"Because… It was in character with what we know about the spy."

Tonks blinked and stared at her. "In character?" She sounded… impressed. But still incredibly angry.

"Yes," Hermione explained cautiously, her voice soft. "He may be a Death Eater, but he goes to great lengths to protect the people he loves, and at personal sacrifice. I already knew that from before he started working with us."

Tonks was watching her silently and Hermione picked up steam.

"He… didn't want Theo there at the time of the raid in case he was hurt, or worse. He was protecting his friend, just as he claimed. So it seemed like a good judgement call. I know I should have discussed it with you, so that you would have had all information available when planning the raid."

Tonks sat back down and pushed her feet on the floor, rocking her chair precariously back on two legs. "And why didn't you discuss it with me?"

Hermione bit her lip in thought. That was a good question. Why didn't she? She could have. She could have discussed everything with Tonks after she received the blood. If she was worried about trust with Malfoy, she could have returned the blood if Tonks' refused to tell him the time of the raid.

Looking back, that's what she should have done.

"He already knew we were raiding the locations of the plans he supplied. I thought you wouldn't go through with the raid if I did, and that you'd be forced to work through the wards, making the operation riskier. You saw the wards on the Nott estate were much more complex and deadly. Ron, Colin and Angelina had already gotten hurt during the Rowle raid, and I was afraid something worse would happen."

Tonks didn't reply immediately, but continued to watch Hermione and rock her chair back on two legs. "So what I'm hearing is that you want me to trust your judgement, but you don't trust mine?"

"No that's not…" Hermione opened her mouth to deny Tonks' accusation, but she was spot on, per usual. Hermione was ashamed. She hadn't even looked at the situation in that way. "Yes. Yes, you're right."

Tonks studied her. She wasn't as furious as she was earlier, but was still aggravated.

"Don't do this again, Hermione. Ever."

"I won't, Tonks. Believe me, I won't." She was sincere.

"So far, you've made incredibly good judgement calls," Tonks clarified, still angry. "Your only mistake was not informing me about the implant and that you told him the time of the raid. I can't help you if you keep me in the dark."

"So you would have agreed with me?" Hermione glanced up, hopeful.

Tonks narrowed her eyes at her. "Yes. But that's not the point and you know it."

"I'm sorry, you're right." Hermione looked down at the table, grateful to be past the worst of Tonks' fury. Her heartbeat began to slow down. She hadn't even noticed how fast it had been thudding in her chest during the time Tonks berated her.

Tonks was still studying Hermione with that knowing gaze of hers. "You can see how critical it is to make sound decisions where there isn't always a clear correct course of action?"

"Yes," she replied. And she did. She felt the weight of responsibility acutely. It was never easy to make decisions. She took every single one seriously.

Tonks stared at her for a few more moments in silence, violent eyes accusatory. "You can't remain objective if you develop a strong emotional attachment with your spy."

Hermione's lips parted in surprise.

"I'm not in love with him," she protested.

"But it could happen," Tonks sounded like it was inevitable.

Hermione thought. Could it?

"I guess… it's… possible?" She had to be honest.

Tonks leaned forward, elbows on the table. "Here's the answer to your puzzle," she said, pointing at Hermione. "He's not having us remove people that are a threat to him. He's protecting those he loves. That may sound like the same thing but it's not. At all. He's protecting his parents, his friends, and yes, also himself. Quite frankly, just from what you've told me this evening, it's not difficult to see why you fancy him."

Hermione blushed and glanced down at the table.

Tonks leaned back and clasped her hands over her belly again. "Hermione. I want you to report to me as soon as you can after each meeting with your spy."

She looked up. Did Tonks not trust her anymore? Could Hermione blame her after she had lied about the Nott raid?

As if in answer to her self-doubt, Tonks continued. "This isn't a punishment. You've done an excellent job with him. You've gotten information critical to our success at sabotaging You-Know-Who's operations. You've protected yourself and the Order. You've gained his trust and you've even broken down his bigotry. And you've made well-reasoned, difficult judgement calls and continued to do so even though you've grown to fancy him."

Oh.

She swallowed nervously. "Thank you."

Tonks leaned forward again. "But you need guidance. You have no prior experience handling spies and should have been debriefing me this whole time – that's on me and for that I apologize. I became complacent after the plans started coming in." She smiled at Hermione, looking herself a bit ashamed. "We all make mistakes, we're human." Hermione smiled back gratefully. Even the indestructible mega-Auror Nymphadora Tonks made the occasional error. "I want you to keep working on him unless we determine that you would no longer be an effective handler."

Hermione nodded. That was fair.

"Get him to open up about what he's doing and why. Get him to be more honest about what he knows and what he doesn't know. And for fuck's sake, we need information about what You-Know-Who is planning. It doesn't matter how vague or how detailed, it will make my interrogations of Nott, Rowle, and the lower ranking Death Eaters more effective. Are we clear?"

She nodded vigorously, relieved that the conversation she had been dreading for so long was coming to a close. "Yes, I'll start working on it with him."

"Hermione, who is it? You have to tell me now so I can advise you better."

She looked up to meet Tonks' violet eyes.

"Your cousin."

Tonks' eyebrows rose in surprise. "Draco Malfoy?"

"Do you have any other cousins?"

"Not on my mum's side, no," she rubbed her belly. "Auntie Bella thought children would get in the way of her career."

That was a diplomatic way of phrasing it. Hermione grinned, glad to be good terms with Tonks again. "The last thing the Order needs are a bunch of mini-Bellatrixes running around."

"Awwwww. Don't be like that, Hermione. They'd be cute little girls."

"That little boy in Pet Cemetery was adorable, too."

Tonks snorted, and she stared at Hermione thoughtfully. "He let Death Eaters into Hogwarts."

"He did." She couldn't believe how much Malfoy had changed. Right in front of her eyes. And she knew just how much that sixth year had impacted him. "That year changed him a lot."

"Isn't he a snot nosed little shit?"

Hermione huffed a laugh. "That year changed him a lot."

oooooooooooooooooooo

Draco Apparated out to the Quidditch pitch at the Manor – warmed for the winter – with a few books on dueling he'd taken from the Malfoy library. He was still angry from his fight with Granger earlier in the evening. He stalked down to the far end, nostrils flaring.

She was right. About everything.

But he didn't want to die. And didn't want his parents to die.

What the fuck was he supposed to do?

Draco agonized over the impossibility of his situation. Weighing the value of the information he could share against the lives of his family. He knew his father was in the States to stop the sources of funding the Order had. Indeed, it was Draco that had identified the very families sending the money transfers after Imperiusing a goblin at Gringotts.

It hadn't even occurred to him to share any of it with Granger since she had been satisfied with the estate plans she was getting. Lulled by the false sense of security, the wonder he had been feeling during their trip to the National Gallery, and the sheer giddiness at spending the day with her which for all intents and purposes could have been a date, he stupidly let his father's location slip.

And she understood the importance of it.

Part of him didn't want his father to succeed, but he knew that failure would result in a series of painful Cruciatus Curses directed at them both. Probably as bad as his father received after the fuck up at the Department of Mysteries in fifth year. Maybe the Dark Lord would decide the Malfoy's were useless and off them. Maybe his father would have been killed in a skirmish with the Order if Draco had told Granger of their plans.

He was completely and utterly torn, and had no idea what to do.

Still furious from their confrontation and the feeling of utter helplessness, he slammed a book down on the ground and enlarged it so he could see the moving diagrams while standing. Flipping through the pages, he squinted, unable to see the details in the dark.

"Lumos Maxima!" he barked, his deep voice carrying across the field.

The lights brightened around the pitch, illuminating the area for him so the diagrams in the tome were easier to see. Draco conjured the dummy the Malfoys had for dueling practice sessions and levitated it to a distance of roughly twenty feet away. He looked down at the moving diagrams, copied the stance, and then flipped to the section on Shielding Charms.

He had no idea where he would be dueling, when he would be engaged in a battle or even which side he'd end up on but one thing was for sure, he needed to get better. Granger was right. He had been too complacent with his role in the war.

At least with improving his fighting, he'd be bettering a skill which would help himself, regardless of where he was or what he was doing. He could use his body and his mind in a way which would benefit him, and he'd be more adept at protecting himself, his parents and his friends.

Her.

She wanted him to fight?

He would fucking fight.

Chapter end notes:

The next chapter is one of my favorites. It's a bit… different in tone than everything you've read up until now.