Sundance Entry Log 218

There's a shutter of light, glittering in a wave that crosses over the screen like a pale version of the borealis as the feed starts recording. Then, just as quickly as it came, the light is gone, blinking a scene of colors and shapes into view at an almost agitating speed. It reveals a large room – or rooms as it were, as a door hidden down a half hallway leads to another. Most of the screen is filled with what looks like a main living room for half of the space, while the other half goes from carpet to hardwood into a small kitchen. The living room part houses most of the interesting items, and the two people. There's a couch with a low table in front of it and beyond that a wall-to-wall window stretches out. The sight of the City and Traveler is seen from a lower view than normal, meaning they are somewhere below the main portion of the new Tower. Some empty book shelves and other items dot the area, but for the most part it's wide open aside from a small pile of boxes.

"I think that's everything," Cayde announces, arms crossed as he eyes the boxes. "Not that there's much to begin with."

They'd lost everything when the old Tower had fallen, so they'd barely had time to collect much since then – just some clothes and necessities for the most part, from what can be seen. Skylar sighs, nodding her head, and leans against the couch's back.

"We'll clutter it up in no time, I'm sure," she comments, smiling slightly. He begrudgingly nods his head but doesn't move to start unpacking what they do have. Instead he turns his attention completely to her.

"If things had been a little different I could have properly welcomed you home from your last mission, but rebuilding takes a while so…" He takes a step forward, coming to her side and presses his forehead and horn to the curve of the side of her head. "Can I just say it now?"

Skylar just smiles, leaning into the touch and closing her eyes.

"You'll have plenty of chances to do it the way you want," she assures him. "But it's good to be home either way… and since I'll be leaving in two more days, you'll get another chance rather soon."

Her words have the exact opposite effect than she probably wants as Cayde's shoulders drop and he pulls away. Skylar opens her eyes and tilts her head at him as he sighs.

"I was just hoping Ikora would give you a break."

"Cayde, she didn't send me out for over a week after things settled down."

"I know, but…" He shuffles his feet slightly. "I was hoping I could get you to come with me in a few days to the Iron Temple. I think Shiro could use some company other than just me. All he really has left is us now."

Cassidy is dead, and from the sound of Cayde's voice, his fellow Exo isn't doing well. It leaves one to wonder how the Vanguard leader handled telling his friend the news and if Skylar was there to give him his girlfriend's iconic sash. Skylar's smile falls at that and she bites her lip.

"It's not a long mission," she informs him. "It's on Earth this time, so maybe I can meet you there in a few days?" She wants to check in on her friend too but, like many things, duty comes first with Guardians. The Hidden are no exception. "Bring some cards and rum, it's his favorite. We can climb the mountain to that spot we found last year and just forget about everything below for a while."

Her offer seems to brighten Cayde's mood, and he nods his head in agreement.

"Just send me a Ghost ping when you're headed back then." Planning ahead isn't really his strong suit, but he'll do it for his friends. Skylar gives a nod and then reaches out and touches the side of Cayde's face, running a finger over the metal of his cheekbone.

"He'll get through this, don't worry." I won't let him fall. Her unsaid words are clear in the set of her face. She refuses to lose anyone else. "He has us after all, just like you said."

Cayde gives a small chuckle, turning his head to kiss her palm.

"Enough of that for now," he says finally as she drops her hand. "It's move in day – we should be having fun." He cocks his head at her, tilting one jaw hinge up in a lopsided smile. "What would you like to do for the rest of the day? We can unpack later."

"Actually," Skylar corrects quickly, "There is one thing I'd like to unpack – or ghost in as it were." She shifts on her feet for a moment when Cayde gives her an interested look. "It's uh, for you. A 'move in gift' if you will."

"Oh?" Cayde raises his brow plate. "You didn't need to get me anything Sky."

"I know, but I saw it and well…" She trails off, looking to the side where Sterling snaps into being. The little Ghost is different upon further inspection. His cracked blue feathered shell is gone, probably broken beyond repair. In its place is an almost delicate looking, yet bold shell where the back is nearly not there and the front is wide and star shaped, five pointed with little flat circles at the end, each point floating detached around the centerpiece. The coloring is the same as before, changing with the light from different shades of blue all the way to silver. His eye is still green, which glows brighter for a moment as his partner gestures to him and he blinks her gift into the room. Or rather, into her waiting hands, which dip slightly at the new amount of weight.

The object is easily identified – made of stained glossy wood and metal, taught strings pulled from neck to base over a shadowed hollow hole. An acoustic guitar. Sundance's feed zooms in to get a better look. It's been stained a dark red-brown, the soundhole lined in brass to match the tuning keys and bridge. It looks almost new, only a few tiny nicks on the edges from wear and tear. Cayde stares at it, blinking rapidly, eyes slightly wider than normal. It takes him a few moments to process it, before he finally says anything.

"A guitar?" He sounds curious – not really disappointed but not really filled with excitement either. The Exo doesn't know how to play, he never has. Skylar bits her lip again, glancing down at the instrument, not exactly looking disappointed herself, as if she'd expected that reaction.

"I found it on my mission a few weeks ago in the Netherlands. The store was actually pretty untouched and then I saw this and… I thought you should have it."

"Why?"

"Because you always had one in your room before," she points out, and that is true. For as long as Cayde had been taking logs, there had sat an old guitar in the corner of his room, untouched once it had been placed. "You said once you kept it because in an odd way it reminded you of yourself, but that one was broken, some of the strings were missing and the hole was crack up the middle."

It's an odd analogy, but it somehow fits Cayde's personality and the way he really thinks about his life and himself, in many ways. He had lost his friends, his human body – things he could never get back – and his mind and past were fractures and slowly breaking into nothing. Skylar seems to have realized that fact too, as she looks back up at her boyfriend.

"I never knew how to respond to that, didn't know if it was my place…" She takes in a deep breath. "But this war has taught me a lot about who we are – separate and apart."

She'd seen just how troubled and broken and desperate Cayde could be. Losing her had nearly made him throw his life away, and she would never be able to forget that.

"I didn't realize that your comparison meant that you thought something was wrong with you and that it wasn't worth fixing… or loving."

Playing an instrument, that was how you showed people you loved it, cared about it, but Cayde had never tried with the one that had sat in his room. It had been left to stand vigil and gather dust. Would he have cared if it had fallen and snapped it two? Cayde swallows, sighing slightly.

"Skylar, look-"

"You're wrong," she cuts in, her hands tightening on the guitar, "What you did Cayde, what I'm rather sure you wish I hadn't seen, you didn't do anything wrong."

She'd seen him try to sweep it under the rug after that talk in the barn. He'd admitted to knowing what he'd been doing and at the time Skylar hadn't commented much on it, but now she seems armed to do so.

"I don't think I would have acted that much different if it had been me in your place. If I had found a body and your gun like you had." She'd held on to the hope that since she hadn't seen him die and hadn't found anything to indicate it, that he had to be alive. "Nothing you did was wrong, Cayde, and I need you to know that I've never seen you as broken or undeserving of anything."

She glances away from his openly shocked expression. Clearly he hadn't expected this conversation today.

"It's why I want you to have this… so you can look at it like the other one and see who you really are."

Whole.

Deserving of everything that makes his life worth living: his friends, his job, and most of all, her.

Cayde just keeps staring at her, his arms at his sides, his optics unblinking for nearly four minutes. Perhaps he had stalled at all the information and emotion she'd just thrown at him. Perhaps he wasn't sure how to even process it, not without a few hours to really think it over. But that wasn't it at all, not when he quite suddenly shakes his head back and forth and takes the step needed to be in front of her completely again. He touches the neck of the instrument, inches from one of her hands, and draws her eyes back to his. Cayde doesn't break eye contact as he takes the guitar from her and gently sets it on the couch and then without pause, pulls her into his chest fast enough that Skylar jumps, her eyes widening at the frame moves to better encompass them both. There's a hand in her hair and his head is in its normal spot against her forehead, horn peeking up from her hair as he takes in her surprised expression.

"There's always been a part of me that never felt like I deserved you. I had my… queen and then I met you and I just about forgot about her and I didn't feel guilty about it," he admits. "But I've always been too greedy and selfish to even think of letting you go. When I thought you died, I thought maybe that was my punishment for believing I could keep you. But then you came back and we both made it to this point, and I realized I should have gotten rid of that guitar a long time ago."

His arm around her waist pulls her closer.

"Skylar, I…you're the one that makes me feel whole, makes me remember that I'm not crazy. Not some instrument – you." She reminds him every single day, and today was no different, other than maybe just a little more demanding. "Maybe it's time I actually learned how to play." To love himself, as much as he loved her.

Skylar blinks at him, but unlike him, she doesn't take too long to understand his words at all. She smiles, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead harder into his horn, having to lift her heels just a bit to do so. The amount of endearment and love in the gesture can't quite be covered in words, it tightens the chest and spreads warmth through anyone who sees it. A sense of true contentment lingering on to eternity.

"Good," she whispers. "Guitar or not, I hope you never forget that."

Then she shifts and kisses him, the movement demanding and loving all at once as if to make sure her words are truly understood. By the way he kisses her back, grip tightening on her, he understands more than she'll ever know.

Oh, Skylar... how little you know...

Thanks for reading, your thoughts are always welcome!